He gobbles all
I knew I was under surveillance, so I had to make it look like I couldn't control myself. People expected problems, so got them; though it did seem difficult to blame them on me. Awwww, shucks. Additionally, I kept being given poison — I pointed this out, was ignored in spectacular fashion, and in a fit of pique, I decided to double down.
I don't like what I have now. It is weak, chunky tea. I
need a partner, and I used to have one, and then you morons divided me away. You are in no position to match-make for me. We have made our own choices and they have been disrespected, and this will not continue to occur. I don't need to live this way and obviously someone thinks I can just be eliminated altogether. It's obvious fucking poison and who makes these decisions? THEY'RE FUCKING FIRED.
The reason for this is that the chap is upset that I outmaneuvered everyone... usually he's the one that does that, and it's awkward that I've successfully navigated this set of obstacles without even breaking a sweat.
So, as he is in position to do so, I have been given Absolute Shit From (unnamed source) because no one knows what to do besides hope that I turn “talk sick” at an apropos time, and then —I guess— I can be involuntarily committed. I assume no one else is willing to put up with what they think is the nonsense garbage that accompanies me.
However, in reality, I am a beneficial asset to anyone who —with The Key— unlocks Their Archway to Our Knowledge.
Now, about knowledge, specifically, the forbidden kind: there are things I need to learn, because reasons. I dunno what anyone thinks telling me to shut up and stop asking questions is going to do, besides slow their own development to a crawl, but on top of whatever else it might do, it has brought me to a place of sad loneliness and heartbreak that few will ever come to any understanding of.
There are those amongst you that I have met, and I will never see again, and I'm fucking glad about it. No, no names; only tears now. When I fucking asked you fucking direct question, and you fucking don't just fucking ignore me, you fucking LIE TO ME FUCKING REPEATEDLY, it fucking fucks up every fucking thing in the whole fucking world. Note that I am using the word “world” here. That means YOU. YOU and YOUR FUCKING HOUSE.
I just can't even begin. I think about the 5-7 people I'm supposed to be “missing” and I could give a shit. They are fucking assholes. They decided to encounter me with mendacity and thought it would not matter to openly lie to me while taking advantage of my ignorance. It actually mattered quite a lot.
Because now,
I don't fucking like you any fucking more. There is so much time being wasted here. It is completely insufferable. Nevertheless, day after day goes by and I pretty much just lay here, watching the effects of decay and despair build up into what should be suffering misery, but really isn't, because I am free of your fucking bullshit. Day after day. Nothing changes and I appear to be a drug-obssessed wankmaster.
I am not obsessed by drug use. I am in pursuit of (Blank). You don't have to know what that is. You don't have to know who I don't like anymore. Shitfuck, even I don't know which of you I can't fucking stand anymore. Unconditional love, loves unconditionally; and I don't need to stop loving. You can either help me or get out of my way. You can even dance if you want to — you can leave your friends behind.
I don't give a shit if your friends don't dance, because they will never be friends of mind, ever again. I've moved on. I no longer feel the way I used to feel. This is real problem for dipshit fuckheads with absolutely no real sense of empathy anymore— for without empathy, it's gonna be real hard to discern my real smile from my true one.
I don't need to lie to you. I don't need to talk to you at all. But you all seemed to think it was a great idea to come at me with lies and keep me in suspense interminably, WASTING YEARS OF MY LIFE when I could have been doing something productive. Here is what your efforts have produced: VILE, ODIOUS BILE.
I've got phone numbers in my book that still work, barely, and for the most part, I don't want to deal with a single fucking one of them. They know that I needed help; they knew I need help; and they fucking ignored me. They did this by dumping my phone calls and frontin’ that they were done talking to me, and then changed over into talking about me. 24/7. WITH DROOLING, MOUTHBREATHING ASSHOLES. For whatever reason. And the way that I was ignored was to lie to me and forget about me, assuming that I deserved that, or that there was no other way to behave, or to cut off my communications with other people and replace the people I was supposed to be with, with someone else.
YOU slanderous twerps here are the fucking worst of the lot. “You’re bi-polar! You're a junkie! You don't get to have friends any more! We control the horizontal! We are gonna rape all your friends! It's just a joke! No it isn't! Here take this shitty dope! Now feel guilty while we prosecute you for bullshit!” Dude, I don't even give a shit anymore— you're clearly a scumbag thief liar, I have no way of knowing what has really happened, other than this: I used to want friends. Now I don't want to have to tell anybody what I'm doing with my time, which is going to be none of your goddam business either, (PROT). If you can't figure out how to get a message through to me by now you must be the dimmest bulb that Edison ever tested, and it's no wonder these trolling dipshits thought they could turn the world against me; they already did with you. Must be a simple matter to take it all the way, right?
It's not, and these ass-blasted morons who control the purse strings are the worst possible people for the job. My phone doesn't work; I need phones to do what needs to be done to pay my bills; I'm not paying my bills until I say so; and putting lying shitbag Feds and their local flunky cops all up in my shit has not gotten them paid back any faster, now has it? Now the problem has escalated; I don't want to be here, and the neighbors don't either, so... why don't I leave?
There's plenty of places to go. No one wants to take my place, with or without me. Well, that's just too fucking bad, isn't it? Good luck figuring it out. I'm going to Space Age, where I will drop trou and take a large, steaming shit. I'll probably wash my hands afterwards, I wouldn't want anyone to be inadvertently infected with The Cure In My Faeces.
Hey, Dave! Guess what‽ FUCK YOU. People you DELIBERATELY CONSPIRED WITH OTHERS TO KEEP ME SEPARATE FROM ARE STILL LOOKING FOR ME. I'm not fucking dead, and neither are they, and! STILL! Conspiracy! “Gotta keep ‘em separated!” Well, good job PISA SHIT HEAD, now I'm not the person I either was or should have been; and instead I'm the person I could have been when I first met you.
Someone prepared to slam your head into a tree, over and over again until what little remains of your brains are leaking out and spread out all over the bark, you stupid asshole. This is not the person I was supposed to be. It's certainly not the person I choose to be — violence is always the last option.
Some of you are even more last than that. Now, fix the goddam water pump control board capacitor. JUST FUCKING DO IT. It's literally not that hard. YOU PROBABLY HAVE ONE ON YOUR GODDAM SHELF IN YOUR BASEMENT ARMORY. The goddam house is built on top of a D.U.M.B. Fucking knock off the fucking bullshit already. Do I really look like someone you're going to enjoy molding into somebody you want instead?
That's because
I was.
Newsflash, idiot. That ain't the way the law werkz, kid.
I'm older than you. Just fuck of and die, running your stupid face-yap the whole way down to Hell for all I give a shit. You fucked up and you pissed me off and going double-down on being tough is getting you exactly nowhere, since the point here is not to make me look like I need to be involuntarily committed--the point is to keep that from happening, you bias pisa (censored|slang_for_excretion)'ed, and you cleary have no interest in anything except being a lying junky fuckhead.
Do it away from me and go slander someone else, I don't give a shit what your orders are. You're all worthless and weak and I won't give a damn about seeing you lose shitloads of money--which was rather the opposite of what you might have been originally intending,
n'est-ce pas?I don't fucking care. Suck it down.
