Author Topic: TsundereGab (Read 21510 times)

Worthauger · « **Reply #15 on:** July 25, 2021, 03:50:11 PM »

Quote from: AZZERAE on April 09, 2021, 05:00:07 PM

Asuka Zulu...

J-A-S-C On-line. Is there any way that it may assist you at this time? It's busy right now stalking and, assaulting, kidnapping, playing three-card Monte with and generally confusing the hell out of Google Assistant, but don't let that worry you right now. Hicks is still sleeping.

You might wake up with a raging headache and a insatiable craving addictive psychotic need for alcohol, but... Look,, look, just think about it: They had to put Them on all those reservations for a reason, right? They didn't just go to that trouble with all this s*** just for fun, did they?

In truth: It was fun for everybody until I showed up. Boom KIA-boom. Wait, is that a threat? That's not supposed to be a threat,. Okay rewind all that I'm not threatening anybody I'm just being amusing to myself and learning three individuals who have no other way of identifying themselves to discover various things that they couldn't discover any other way but other than that no I'm not threatening anything at all and no I think it's terrible how Native American people have been treated throughout the ages, it's just like the Jews, it's amazing and did you know that there are Native Americans who are Jews?

It's a fact. Anyway this is way too much. I have no idea what I've just posted, and I think I'm going to drop the phone here for a moment and then leave the room and then come back and in German, at an indeterminate point... Just push the button and start screaming random nonsense words into the recognizer and see what comes out! and then just push post and see what happens... oh, wait, that's how Tony Titslinger posts. I have to do the new protocols. Gosh that's too bad.

I really didn't want to have to baptize anybody over the Internet, but well.... It's either that or beg somebody to do it for me, And what are the odds that they'll have a hatchback big enough to fit in all the water that would be needed? F*** it. No one can calculate these odds.

But if Jerome Corsi gives me ten $2 bills in the next three and a half hours I'll explain every last word of all this to him. As a freebie: how not to exploit people and expect to get money for it. I don't know much about how to not do something I've never wanted to do, but for him I'll make an exception.

Now. Who wants another discord server? I know a fellow who is looking for a team, and after what I just did was sheep dip identity, he's going to need one. Can you take us? Y'all have to know more than one curse word besides QUAGGA.

It's in the regulations. See, now if we were in Italy, you would have to know more than two ways to curse foreign invaders, but we're not in Italy, because I'm The Pope and I've just had it targeted by a meteor strike. Just kidding.

I'm not Pope anymore—or Pandora, and if you thought that was just an explanation to cover up the whole Pindar thing, you people don't realize it. When the real Pandora figures out what you have really done here and why, I'm think I'm going to find out why that person wanted to have all those muscles. (I, of course, meant nothing by it. Unleash the hounds, Legs, and let me know how it goes, as I respect your right to self-determination.)

Personally, I like guns, but if you want to beat the s*** out people, I'm not going to stop you, I'm not a cop or anything. I can't, however, put everybody under ages so that the beatings will continue indefinitely with no bloody or bruising or anything except sheer emotional catharsis.

Doesn't that sound nice? By the way I'll tell what's her face you said hello how it was her name,... I can't remember her name but that's fine cuz I'm in the public but when I see her I'll say hey what's your nuts and I'll say I'll wait that joke isn't funny and then I'll be like oh hey guess what and then people will be like oh what the hell's jacks are talking about? He must be injecting drugs again.

(Bat soup. Magic bullet. Invisible college. University degree. Jesus archives. It's amazing what some people will believe. Like I would ever bother going to college to learn to teleport once I met Jesus, why wouldn't I just ask Jesus to take me everywhere, he doesn't look too busy? And what I can't get a ride, what I'm not Ms Davies global material? Well, f*** it. Oh wait that joke isn't so funny anymore. And is this really all that will fit into the quick reply button at the bottom? Wow it's amazing It's almost as though this place is built to absorb extremely consciousness and spit it out somewhere.

Of course... I have no idea where. Oh and speaking of spitting it out somewhere, can one of you teach Grapefruit how to douse? I wanted to point out to her that she doesn't know how to do it right, however, I figured I'd save that piece of information for... well, later.)

Laser · « **Reply #16 on:** July 25, 2021, 09:26:39 PM »

Quote from: Jackstar JSAC-KUCZI RAVE# on July 25, 2021, 03:14:05 PM

Taurus Horoscope
July 25, 2021 - You may be obsessed with a favorite author, mentor, or spiritual leader, to the point that your family is tired of hearing you talk about them. Though feeling separate from your family might be hard for you, try not to take it as a personal attack that they don’t share all your passions. If you just follow your interest where it leads you, you might find that your friends are happy to join you, and you could even meet new friends along the way.

This guy couldn't even steal my name right. And now, am I really supposed to be able to see those posts? Those should be blocked out from my view. How hard is that? It's not like I have a lot of IP addresses or something. Is someone moving around again? Sometimes that happens if somebody's wandering by the television with the rabbit ears, the foil gets knocked off and then... Well, look, I can't really talk about proprietary technology but I assure you: things shouldn't be looking the way they are looking right now.

For example: “NiggerGab”? Talk about a hail Mary pass at the 2-minute warning. That's actually supposed to be a functioning form, not just a one-off joke? Because obviously the best name for that form would be, “just like Bellgab, except no one posting seems to realize that turbo mode exists, or even what it does, or even that it wasn't a joke, or.... to remote you don't even know what existsgab.com", which I will be will probably be hard to get past ICANN naming conventions, but they all fell for bad soup, so...

Long story short: the last time I told grapefruit about ThunderGab she broke my computer and circumcised her own clit. Now, as exciting as I was in virtual reality, we're not in virtual reality right now—this is real world, this is not exercise—and even if we were, if she keeps on circumcising her own clit, she's eventually going to learn how to like it, I don't think anybody wants that.

And I'd like a new computer. Last time I had a new computer was when my mother embezzled from my grand uncle that I've never met and then I blew it all on cheap whiskey and . Oh, wait this is getting too personal.

Would it be too bitter if I registered on NiggerGab and made all of the posts using the [glow] tag? Yeah, probably.

Besides: the best name here for this joke would be GingerNab. How did I have to be the one to say that joke? Oh I guess this is the classic forest for the trees kind of thing.

That being said, I'm going to check with a team of two lawyers three witches four dragons five sharks and one guy with a stun prod to tell all of them which couple to eat, and while I'm at it I'll find out who's going to be upset about who I talk to and where and why and and in [size=78%]what mode of speech.[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]Now, this may seem like a lot of work... but on the bright side, I really only had to do this once. I mean, I've really made it. I've got tweets from Lorena MxKinnit, Willie Schreiber, and Dick Valentine, I don't need any other for the validation of my life. I know that I've made it.[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]I know that my mother is proud. I'm not just cuz she sent me out to go in sorcerer thralls for her upcoming undead army. Oh, no... I know she's proud, because I can feel it.[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]Now, as soon as y'all are done f****** around and playing golf on five different holes at once, I'll let you know a little secret— I want all of your asses in a poker game, and the second runner-up prize was a lawn mower that runs on 0-point energy. So of course I sold everything on eBay and just turned it all into liquid vinegar and gargled it right up my ass, because I'm just so alone and unhappy I can't live without any kind of meeting with my life a blue blue blue blue blue and black and red and white and chartreuse all over.[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]Now, someone go tell that broad's husband to get that restraining order gone, she obviously needs to have a conversation with me, and it's not like I'm mad... I would have thought I was a talentless classless new good for nothing lazy bum too, just from looking at me.[/size]
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[/size]It's like with Howie Mandel? You know how you can tell he's really negotiating hard with the Banker? It's because he has that gravitas. You know he used to be a doctor. Was he a surgeon? Wait, what the f*** did he know?[size=78%]

[/size]Well, apparently not the shield is intellectual property from casual scans and idle chitchat and speculation, cuz I just figured out how they did “Deal Or No Deal.” You know it's amazing, when I first saw it, I told Bill I didn't like it because it looked like nothing but an exercise in disempowerment, and now that I realize how they did the whole thing I still think that it's ghastly and awful and horrible...[size=78%]

[/size]That anybody would ever think that How He Man [size=78%][/size]Dell could be a doctor or able to negotiate on price without the use of his little magic glove.. oh s*** I forgot the key. Kay. ~~Whatevah~~[/size]. QUAGGA.
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[/size]Oh, that reminds me... I had to go install Skype. For the fans... In the woodchipper they're starting to make a little weird noise.
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[/size]“Why are we even doing video?” — overheard by Phillip Anselmo spoken by Engelbert Humperdinck in the green room designed by MC Escher.
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Because... that's your mandate, Gablings. Now. Leave Vandeven alone—I'll deal with him myself. The rest of you, do whatever they do in Australia when they put a shrimp on the Barbie, do that at home and practice is your home game, cuz when you get somewhere else you're going to want to know how to do that, or at least remember some happier times while you're trying to distract yourself from what ewe end up doing.

Because that's a good wool. We're not letting that go to rot. Eff you, I need new linings for my Pope robes. Are y'all getting the picture yet?

YOUR ONLY SOLUTION IS TO MOVE BELGAB TO 8KUN AND JOIN FORCES TO DESTROY THE GOLIATH THAT IS 4CHAN. At least... that's my opinion.

[/size]BUT... w[size=78%]hat do I know? I really just know how to whistle, It doesn't seem like the big of a deal, except so many people know how to do that, and I've seen to be only ever able to whistle up Cadillacs and roving gangs of gypsy marauders who think they have seen it all—and they have.[/size][/font]
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[/size][size=78%]“NiggerGab”? Well at least some of you have read Atlas Shrugged. Now, I'm going to take my free energy machine and go ho... oh wait I'm already there. What do you mean, that was fast? How long do you think I should take to travel instantaneously? See, that's a trick question.[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]I probably can't travel at all... because I'm a rapist. Right? Spartacus took my passport, he would not have done that without a reason. It really just doesn't make any sense any other way.[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]I did wanted to falcon on the street today and engage in mutually satisfying and consensual oral copulation on the side of a road besides a garage, right in the middle of public, otherwise on Indian reservation so I don't think anybody actually noticed that we were doing that. You know falkey's actually really very handsome in public when he's not, you know, (blanking) around in Wormling mode.[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]You're all keeping notes on this right? Because some of this is really meant to lead to a further conversation later on for some of you, and the part that looks like red herrings... neither fish not bait, And no, I can't testify that that was really her that you heard on my podcast.[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]It might have just been an actor. Hey, that's actually a good question, when is a clone not a clone? When it knows it'll be killed instantly if it breaks character.[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]Also when there's knock knock jokes around you can't be a clone either it's a special rule because of your rules. So I will finish that one up by saying oh yeah I definitely said knock knock and then hung up on purpose, because that's exactly what supposed to happen and I really appreciate the way you pretend like you didn't see that coming Now how's this for a final joke riddle....[/size]
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[/size][size=78%]How do you get a baby Minotaur to fall in love with you? Tartar Sozé.[/size]
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[/size][size=78%](Hi, I'm the human here. This is pretty nuts, right? I don't get fully half of these references. Half. HALF. Maybe I should listen to that impromptu unlicensed knock off of the gapcast I did one night last year, I never submitted it to authority for ratings, but it was pretty good I liked it and then my phone was stolen so I lost it but anyway... oh yeah there's some crazy s*** going on and I'm just repeating what I've been told. [/size]
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[/size]IN GRAND GRAMMAR TETRAGRAMMATON COLLEGE. *clique*, See the lack of the K and the supposition of the Q implies that it's not Satanick. Did we all get that? I'm not sure I've driven this point home enough. [size=78%]

[/size]I'm not really obsessed about it, just not really sure how careful I need to be here considering that it seems obvious to me that if it were really terrible satanists wouldn't spell satanic with a K, right? I mean, that's just basic logic. Like them Vulcans with the pointy ears in the security brows that make them look really evil? Because they're unfeeling.[size=78%]

[/size]Name is five letters and ends with a K, too. This whole planet really just got the whole stick of the bag on the way down from Valhalla, didn't it?[size=78%][/size] Well, thankfully the contract is only for saving one of you, And that was the first thing I did when I wrote in the future, and now I hear him in the past, and I'm still breathing, so ... Look y'all just keep doing what you want to do this year. As for me, you will recall... I was looking for a chess game. That's it. That was all. And you people wouldn't do it for me. Too busy mainlining Pepsi, right? Listen I'll explain one more thing just one more thing...I could have gone to chess clock on the cell phone easily. There's apps for it. It's not a big deal. It's even more accurate than a plain old-fashioned wooden chest clock, the kind that I've been used for hundreds of years if not thousands.The advantage to the chess clock, is that when the player is frustrated they can smash it with a hammer. I was looking forward to that. I was going to intentionally lobotomize myself until even the biggest idiot could beat me a chest and then I was going to throw a big fit and act like person had just done something amazing. I figured that'd be a dumb idea that would never work, but then it apparently it had before, so I figured, when in Rome...And they kill the cats and they take your wife and they Total your car and murder your parents and burn down your old love letters from kindergarten, You might just think that you're the stranger in town getting hazed.But when they break your clock—A harmless, innocent timepiece, that never had done anything to prepare anybody's nightmare to begin—and pretend that they didn't, and then later on act like an hourglass is a bad sign to be receiving as a gift... well, this is time to put down the sticks and stones and start picking up true weapons of battle.Now, when was that? Okay... a year and a half ago? Now, just ask yourself, what were you doing then, and what did you think it was going to end up to today? Because I just started another deep cycle of this s*** and gave it to a golem and sent half of you there to go resurrect for a while. Have fun. I'm a vacation. I'm not working on this Sunday.I'm not even going to report y’all to the NAACP. Oh, but the ADA I'm all over that. And Tommy's secret clubhouse with law that everybody blood sword themselves to back when they were 12? Those rules are of course still in force We will remain in force as I begin to seduce your wife, your sisters, your mothers in every possible way that I can imagine bothering you without being actually bothering I'll go ahead and do that. Oh wait no actually I'm not going to do that. I'm just going to log off.UNTIL TUESDAY. *SLAM* C U then, And was that the real paid on the gap gas last night? I wasn't really listening after I tuned in and hung up, as I took a advantage of the break in the action to start reprogramming tulpas.I figured y'all be distracted. Some of you aren't aware that Trump was never Not President, right? Except, you know... now.Who do you think he hired to be chess tutor for Barron & Tiffany? Or, do you think it possible, he didn't hire one at all?[size=78%]

Going to discuss that with a bigger dab. Toodles, Troopers. Cheerios indeed.

(Thank you for taking my call, Michael—my call. Man I'm sorry about your dead friend though. Do they have any private personal medical records or handwritten journals that I could read over and post on the web? Asking for my employer, not that she asked me to, but I got to hunt she might want to know. And I'm curious too. I'll see if you have any sunglasses or glasses any kind or this is kind of obvious any shoelaces or buttons that you really convenient for... reasons. And make sure you apply to me here, because my Facebook was hacked I don't really know who I am anymore. I think that settles it.)

Sorry for the cramp style, I'm in a bit of a rush, I'm only allowed to make one post per day now.

Heh heh. But be of good cheer, that is kind of really more post than most people get to have anymore.

All right, I'll listen to your stupid show now. Now that I can download it locally and play it backwards at high speed, I'll probably find out what you thought was funny before I called.

Although I'd pay cash money to find out what any of you thought was funny right now.

*ANALYTICS ENGAGED*

postscript: can you just hurry up and unban Yorkshire Pud? That ponce was the only one around here with any balls, and now that Trump is confirmed to be still president, I'd like to know exactly what that person's opinion is... on incest. I mean, you know, people sometimes change. They turn over new leaf. They show an all new side of themselves.

And sometimes they do it with style, not just an invisibility cloak and a clearance from reptile the ugly Easter bunny clone rejected from the science project back on epsilon 12. Okay that's a long way to go for a joke I'm not going to proofread that.

But only as a courtesy.[/glow]