It wasn't complicated. It was special consequences. Progress report mandatory due to flagrant violations of due process and Trust law as well as direction of Spirit.
Okay I'm not going to lie I'm actually working quite a bit, so everybody relax, I'm a Paladin. I don't want to talk about what kind of work it is but it's not all together pleasant so there's going to be any recompensing I have f****** want later on It's not a hurry though and I have a staff and I have guardians and I have storage facilities and I also have a need for pouches so I'm going to need a pouch master, but let's not talk about that right now cuz it's getting just off the f****** nuts crazies. Like I pretty much need to talk to a doctor before I start doing this for real but it doesn't really matter if I start practicing now since this is just a web forum I mean it doesn't matter anything, no it's nothing like that impression.
Also Sara wants to actually do that thing that she tried to do and God killed her for. She said she doesn't care if you aren't liking her anymore, she “will kill God if (I) she can't get (my) her hands on (his) my body” which is a nice thing to say honestly but she is kind of congenerally retarded I don't know what the hell happened over there and with that thing but I really did anything to do with it and then I barely knew the lady, honestly I guess somebody had told her that I was a retarded pedo junkie a****** and obviously I'm not so as you saw me at a grocery store she probably followed me home on LIDAR like a puppy with a flying car that came part of their job package standard would and I think she was trying to figure out whether it turned left or right at the crossing, so she just sat there and peed herself to death cuz nobody talked to her, I know the feeling. And it's none of you ever seen one of the flying cars I'm talking about, that's too bad because they're f****** cool, I ever saw 11 years ago I'm sure they've gotten cooler, Of course there are goddamn secret black government agencies that have f****** flying cars, I f****** saw one that means there's more, and f****** all you people are here so obviously there's more of you out there too, you're just the ones that have to deal with me, you think.
Unfinished karma is such sweet sorrow. For peasants. For me it's the currency of The Realm. Hey I've been this cool for quite some time, glad to notice? Probably not. Did she really try to defect? From Canada? In the midst of covid she tries to defect so that she can get some poon, no no so she can switch so she can have dick? She tells us to border to control and they shoot her huh? Well was she pregnant? They shot that chick at the capitol building for when Obama was president remember her? I actually did like Sara that much... so I understand. No she could have just called me, yeah I would have been great, I well mouth a little small, but that's okay, I know a way to make her bones plastic, like werewolf spell kind of Well anyway she's dead now so f*** it too bad Maybe the rest of you fascists can f****** have a special fascist holiday apologies day where you suddenly realize that you've been too f****** restrictive for way too many years, what do you think Why don't you smoke a bowl about it and f****** have a f****** freak out first too? Oh is that illegal already Oh that's too bad.
P I'll tell you some of these timelines these days I don't understand their history. And how did Sarah get over there anyway Oh that's right there's like seven stairs Oh yeah that's right teleporting ferry Oh yeah that's right Oh yeah I jumped through that door Oh yeah I remember. Maybe her origin story is different in your dimension. By the way Missy is a ghast. Had she been a real human being, she could never qualify for a security clearance without somebody talking to me about her, because she's Gemini Justice. (Vengeance for Optimal Justice.) I'm serious check your server logs.
Also I got to the part of the reconstruction where I tapped into the DEA's tack log thing, I won't tell you what it does because I don't know myself but it's pretty cool I found out how they do certain things, I probably won't tell you I don't have a security clearance you really just got to trust me and if I change your mind there's not a goddamn thing any of you can do to stop me Come on but I'm not going to do that otherwise I wouldn't say it out loud right?
(I f****** told you I would either find a way or I'd f****** make one, well I'm f****** making one, most corrupt organization I've ever f****** heard of my entire goddamn life; DEA. If they didn't want to be single handledly dismantled by a pissed off Hungarian they should not have left me alone in a f****** house for 19 goddamn months. I'm not mad at on you at all, no nothing I'm not even well I'm good Yeah I don't think you should be deported, what? were they going to find a country fat enough to take you anyway?
1) I handled what Punchy Brewski was concerned about.
This is turning that ring portable doorbell hacker jammer and miniature bullion cube maker and spider web analyzer into an ongoing concern. "I reprogrammed one on the first try without even trying" said Michael koozie who is not John Connor, And somebody has changed the global voice recognition thing for my name koozie, koozie, koozie, coma koozie Kuma kuma kamakuzi God bless America, hahaha, hahaha hama hama,,,, hama karma chameleon. All right good enough for now. Fix a cigarette later.
Punch is probably super happy. I'm not sure, they still bring up the bile in the back of my throat when I think about how we lost contact with pouchy, and Captain Jim “grapefruit punch jones” At the base of the cut of his jib that's supposed to have hyphen's son isn't available for me to complain. By the way I think a whole bunch of people been dying over and over and over and then just nobody's been noticing that they keep coming back to life and some sort of infinite regeneration cycle, just you know it's kind of how life works now. You probably wouldn't have noticed if I didn't mention it, now turn your head to the left so we'll shoot you with the sniper pilot and not mess up your retinal scan. Thanks for your boom boom *clap* boom service. Boom boom big bada boom. All right, I still can't call z-beau-ray-dome-swish, but for the first time in a long time I do miss him, so throw , him, mv and them half boiled boiler prawns back in the boiling oil (MUSH B**** MUSH) and silence the screams for a little longer, hey: beauty has its price. He'll thank us all for this later, I mean he's not paying for it, I'm not f****** his girlfriend whoever the hell that is and I'm not mad at him, not that matters but he's a lot f****** better off with me not mad at him than f****** mad at him, and what does he what is what is he what is he think of these f****** complain about? Oh. Okay well if that stuff that I just heard is true I guess he might have a reason to complain but, I didn't f*** his mom either so she's probably still there. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Whatevah.
2) It is obvious to me now what your father was so concerned about, and, holy Jesus shitballs, so am I. Thanks for the heads up.
Not impressed by the heads up. I hope this was a test where you wanted to see what I do when I need a time travel, coz like here's what I do, I call chicks who like to f*** who then talk about time travel after we're done. Rest of you:
get out.
3) Of the 400 people at that goddam party at the beach, fully half wanted to murder me. I'd like a recount on this, stat. Like, that was 6 years ago, Slanderette. Get crackin'.
I'm beginning to see how this might have been reasonable for those people to be behaving that way, and then I don't know what the full story is but I'm going to look into this and I believe that I still am and some of them should be happy, some of them probably won't ever be happy again but that's just because I'm never going to like them again, they were very nice, not at all. To me.
And as a result, things have happened. Things... and stuff. (*radio crackles* elephant leader take the Lion King *muffled screams and gunshots are heard*) Yeah I don't know exactly what that was.
Not exactly.
4) This house is filled with flies and mold and whatever was left in the fridge plus more. Shazam.
Sounds awful doesn't it? It really is. So here's what we're going to do: REBATES. LISTS. MOLES, DESTROY ALL MOLES. RESCUE BRITNEY SPEARS. UPGRADE HER BRAIN.
But before we upgrade the brain, we're going to have her clean out the fridge, while we go to the gun range, I'm not even kidding, are you kidding this is no I'm not kidding this is the best f*** this is the best idea I've had all day. It's not just a dirty fridge, we're talking about like the upgraded legend to Geordie Farrell here Not saying how to spell the name, but anyway it has to be handled delicately and until Ms Wonder nuts gets here and figures out how to tell me the easiest way to do it other than to burn the f****** house down and haul away the f****** smoking remnants of the refrigerator in a f****** carry-all helicopter, even that I'd want to run a long underneath it with like some newspaper to make sure to catch any drips Yeah it's f****** foul and I don't know what to do with it because it's the trap, that she left, and it was a good trap too It's a good trap for the good ship lollipop like like for real she's she's just as good traps as I am probably better and that's that's the new rapefruit whose name is just gave me at the moment but yeah we've moved her from another dimension.
She's met me before but she didn't care for me as she thought I didn't do drugs the right way and I was a cop cobviously obviously that's not the case so automatically intrigued but perhaps you know it won't be the end of the world. And she's saying that she's not f****** cleaning a f****** fridge either she's she's laughter outside she can't believe it It's still the f****** there yeah I didn't touch that other thing I didn't just yeah she says f*** yeah I get somebody dumb to f****** do it Right on so yeah that's not having it yet so I don't know what people are waiting on other than what they think they need to see, has anybody like had a conversation with me about what needs to happen No, do people think they need to talk no like they're until I'm behind bars that converse or some s***. And you think I'm persnickety.
5) Spookmongers burned all the firewood and did not replace it. Bill them and have more delivered. Open account tabs for Zeebo and Sandra and 2 more plus me and start planning spending -- indirectly, you understand.
This might actually be done already, but I haven't looked cuz I've been very very relaxed in my upkeep, cuz I didn't know there was any to, and I've been kind of tired and thinking about There's this there's this girl I like and there's other girl I like and then they have like this struggle with each other, you know what I mean? Okay one of them wants me to kill the other one and have a blood orgy in her in trails like on the floor like roll around in it, she assures me that we've done this before and it'll be okay if we do it again, especially we get in the car right now and drive there immediately.
Now I'm not going to lie, that's not going to happen, I have to wash my hair tonight. But,
tomorrow....
6) I don't see what the goddam hold-up is here.
What part of it is it some people got upgraded field infrastructure, and another part is that I had to fire MV and get him another job. This was the first time that happened and we were both very excited. He's not real happy about me talking about it, but then again he's not real happy about anything ever since he dumped that lasagna in his shoe.
Some people got the very first day at work at her funeral tomorrow... Who was she? Was she kumquat was she for fire or was she raspberry? All that's interesting that the voice recognizer did it that way, oh did you give basket weaver to bladder? Wow that's too bad, too bad Oh well bye.
Yeah no she had two years to do anything besides laugh at me and to take away my email, definitely not. And when I saw her last she was orca size. Wonder how that could happen? They didn't read the instructions I read.
They weren't bought on the black market and they weren't cursed They were deliberately from the divine to show to me to what I needed to know. Look it's really simple, when a person tells the truth over and over and over and over and over and over and doesn't ever break protocol for 20 years, you get a little gold star.
I'm not allowed to tell you what to do with it. But I didn't even get one of those when I did my vow, so you might as well start now m*********** and I don't want to hear from you f****** 21 more years? Go on, git.
Somebody wake up Hicks.
It's a pretty good year for birthday presents. And I got a new call sign too: keep reading. (Actual.)
By the way The President wants to change my call sign, and all the honest, I don't actually know who it is, but message coming in for Jack Star, would you please change your call sign to failsafe. Sheehy it says I can still put nines in places of the A's. Okay she told me I can tell you who she is, but I don't want to cuz it's an awesome surprise you'll never believe it. (Now they want to put the Soviet parse Lee's Parliament for stones at low at least so good funkadelic, that's any house? Oh okay Well that's not going to happen, no I'm not going to call Mr Putin thanks bye click.) Some people play along. I'm not f****** calling Russia. f*** that. Look I talk a lot of s*** and I have been interviewed by weird people once in a while but that's pretty far stepping away to actually be in a state department employee that actually calls embassies and s**** and has credentials that aren't hypnotic, so you can pretty much just be assured they're not going to lose track of where I'm at and reveal myself to be out of my f****** mind, cuz that would be insane also illegal to impersonate federal employee like that, which is a good thing to remember if you ever happen to find yourself in the matrix sitting by a desk and they ask you if you're the prosecutor and don't say yes if you're not the prosecutor, if you're embarrassed that you're sitting the prosecutor sharing you have no idea how you got there just admit the truth tell you got really high and you're f****** leprechaun last night, just don't f****** lie to a federal official Don't lie to an official don't pretend to be an official don't trifle with Jack Star although actually all of those three the first two puts you in the f****** federal prison for real and the last one if you end up at federal prison you'll be a hero just for even lived it through the telling.
Queen Elizabeth Clinton and Mr King George Anderson the 88th, and their little dog tu,tu. My hand to God that's what it says on their checks.
The pursuit of study is life, the study of life is pursuit, and the life of pursuit is one of constant, rigorous, hypervigilant examination of my environment, because she's going to beam herself in instead of portaling one of these days, I just know it. Also I plan to file a motion with the Court next time I am there that my Clergical status and the end of the EMERGENCY means they can shove it. INDIRECTLY.
I found part of the problem with the emergency, it was that they had a serious staffing problem in certain wings of certain agencies, that usually gets filled by people who train their replacement but I guess there was some sort of bio weapon attack that killed a whole bunch of people all at once like overnight like as if the carbon dioxide men over as if somebody got hit by bubbling broth anyway a bunch of high level dudes but I got killed at once and then they're logon and then nobody noticed cuz they're doing high level stuff that hardly ever high level happens, and then I didn't notice until I just suddenly put two and two together and realize why a friend of a friend of a mother of a friend of mine sees me working at a job that she's completely singularly unqualified for, and that would make a lot of sense, that they would have gone that route because at the very least she would have meant well, right definite sense of integrity, and just because they don't know Jack or s*** about drugs doesn't mean they don't know Jack.
And honestly in this case not knowing how to handle me correctly is a plus, getting pretty goddamn tired of handled by people who don't understand the value of a hug. Or Roblox chocolates, or a box of chess pieces, or a single goddamn flower, shiny in the sun like a ballerina who isn't a raging lunatic tightwad biznatch dyken disguise.
By the way I've decided I'm start using the word dike a lot more often, trying to confuse it with the one with DYKE that's I'm not going to use that one use a lot more often hopefully I'll use it a lot less often, as well as other people will use that configuration but I do like the word dyke Oh not that one, no I got to pretend that I don't like that word No I love that word It's like dyke and k*** and c*** and twat f****** those are badass words to have on hand.
No I'm not too upset. Don't worry we caught it in time. I think a closer to Andromeda strain than Philadelphia Experiment, and more like Andromeda grain and drama to drain, lol.
Could you please figure out how to stop?
I did.
A hug. Then I got left a loan for another 12 months, I don't know what it'll take now. Probably scalar weapons. Get your hug and arms off of you damn dirty len.
He's actually here quite a lot he does care for me, it's really nice that I had a chance to have a conversation with him before he died, and then it's Joey didn't have more than one and a half conversations because then I probably could have told him how to cure his cancer that he's supposedly suddenly got overnight that killed him in a week, gee like I wonder how that happened, well it's not supposed to kill you, f****** bigot, oh he's he's laughing He wasn't happy with that life anyway, Susie found out I didn't want any chocolate loven From Sean baby, he says that it was actually as dark as Hershey's when it came out, I'm not believing it but I would I'd be willing to give him a tug to find out if that was the case I mean if you if he was lying then you know hey free semen at least, anyway where was I What thread is this Oh yeah letters to lawyers look great.
I'm not sure what this is let's see what I got in the
(BUFFER/BUGGER)
So I got a picture, emailed, of somebody I'm not usually getting messages at all from?
So still not sure what is being conveyec. However, whether it's good or bad for him is definitely awesome or even more awesome for me, and that's good for you in ways I can't describe right now although you did say hurry so I'm not sure exactly what the urgency is I would like to say that I don't have a shower Don't know where to go I don't know what I'm doing I don't know how I'm getting there and I'm tired of all the lip I get from everybody else except for you You actually you're actually really nice compared to most people and then the way that you have that software the software that you're using is incredible Oh my god I need please I guess is that f****** secret Air Force s*** or can I just get that off and f****** Google Play like I never seen You've got capabilities that I've dreamed of but I never I've never seen them in use I don't know Is that divine power or is that your software coming up against my divine power or did you write that custom or or are you magic or are you a wizard cuz that's amazing what you just did. Or maybe Google did it. Is it China I prefer you to China.
Or else to tell you nothing else, that's it, and now since I don't know what the software does and I've never seen it before I have to f****** do something twice because I trust you but not the person who's pretending to be you, oh yeah that's what it is a spoofers back. Like from the dead Not we actually two two two reds two resurrect, yeah we didn't tell me they were dead Mikey devaney so I had no way of knowing what to resurrect and then I don't care if your agents die that's not really a problem You killed my cat and my girlfriend so whatever Yeah no problem but yeah two or three not sure maybe somebody's going to heart attack when they read this and then they'll get an instant one but that's one of my jobs around here is to resurrect your dead spooks, so one of your jobs around here is to tell me about it how things are going, I don't know about the birds, I don't care, I'm not really working I'm kind of 20 months in the hole I'm kind of f***** off.
The talk. Good. Yeah any medical attention I'll get around to it. What's the rush? Not really care about anything, although apparently one of my friends is daughter's sisters oldest daughter is now old enough that she can have sex with me so she's looking at my address and number but I mean no not going I didn't say give it to him and they think I'm the devil anyway but that is flattering to know that I'm somebody's first thought when they turn 18 that is nice so you can you can put up the spike strips if you want I don't know don't worry about it, like I didn't mean to make you upset in any way and then I don't know why I would other than my flagrant disregard for character and being considerate and polite and having some sort of respect for the innocence of youth, but I think I did.
You did say “hurry.” That's on record. I hope you enjoyed it too bye
[Actual]SIZE: pretty pretty big. [Act shoo El]. How gross I'm right in post like Peyton now, well at least I'm not whine and crying and complain about how short and long it is, what does he have to do get back to a hurry up and meeting of oh never mind I don't want to know.
I want to go back to my friend's work and play with my friends but that's not necessary unless I'm activated again, I think I'm done I don't know I got to wipe my ass, wash my hands, make sandwich, I don't think I need you ejaculated I did that eight or nine weeks ago whatever what difference does it make? I got a rhyme words together and engage in onomatopoeia, no that's not dirty, you're dirty, you're the one wearing the diaper on your mouth. Why don't you go play with your kids? No, no I can't play with your kids, what's his nuts fat Albert He's busy with the gang on the street they're playing in traffic.
Okay fine real talk.
If I tell those children exactly what's been going on with me, and what's going to happen, what's happening right now, they will spread word through the countryside and it will go up in smoke like wildfire at the prairie grass festival of 1802. And I'm not going to lie I got a pretty wicked sense of humor, I would turn it up some I would tell the kids things that were true, but would be guaranteed to take rooting their little brains and leave seedlings and then be stories that they would tell over and over and ways that would not be anticipated and would totally f****** the adult world and make the children laugh and laugh and laugh and know that I'm reign supreme is their great ruler and it would be anarchy and cast throughout the day from every morning from this day to come Now that's what I would like to do, but I'm not going to.
Tonight, I'm not going to do that tonight, but that's the reason why I'm not hang around the children I mean I would love to tell what's going on, and why shouldn't I tell truth to children you stupid f****** c*** b****** that CPS f****** want you give me a f****** call you want some f****** information f****** little f****** losers, once you look look up how many times you talk to my dad to get his f****** house and see if he f****** signed his f****** papers there Why don't you come on down and try to convince me about how f****** wonderful be if I sign the house away, f****** more I was no point f****** doing that cuz it's not my house b**** it's the f****** f****** trust f****** with lawyers f****** mommy's f****** house b**** f*** you.
I sail in, I sail again, I SAY AGAIN: Leslie Bourgoin, boing boing f****** f*** you actual,
oops typo Mrs Gorbachev when you're done sucking the president of the Soviet Union's dick f****** tear down this wall.
Don't worry about my latent and repressed in here to for before now fully suppressed psychic trauma, no it's fine it's bubbling up out all over the place I'm saying wild and cranky weird s*** but that's okay a lot of people make a lot of money at that and I don't mind telling the world what you did Leslie boimboing, I mean Leslie bimbo I mean Leslie Boyd Leslie borewood No not the boardworms!
Tell you what audience called and here's what she did, she thought she got away with it. This is for the best. You are beyond screwed Leslie.
Your jack started. Oh you're going to love what comes next, maybe somebody will post on a message board about you when you least expect it or when... Hey you want to just get stoned and f***, yeah I bet you do, well you can't click slam. /whore
Now if that doesn't piss her off, I'll say the same things to here tomorrow and call her
other daughter a w****. So there.
