"Hey Roz,.." or Questions for Roswell's, Art thread

[pate]

Carpenter ants and high winds have caused me to come into possession of two rather large Red Oak trunks.  The big one (that I did not expect to go) was approximately 40 inches around at the base of the trunk and about 10-12 feet long, and the smallish one (that I also did not expect to go) was somewhere around 18 inches around at the base and 17 feet long.

They are both presently at the local lumber mill awaiting the sawyer to cut them into beams and posts.  Hopefully, I will be able to get something approaching a 12"x12"x14' beam out of the smaller one, although the sawyer doesn't think it will be more than 8"x8"x14' due to the sapwood/heartwood ratio.  Perhaps I will get a compromise and end up with an 8"x12"x14' beam out of it?  The bigger one is to be milled into 3 posts that will match the beam dimensions, and whatever amount of 1/2" planks can be squeezed out of what is left (bookshelves for the office or something, I guess).

This advances the time-frame on the restaurant project a bit, although there is still time:  it will likely take a few years for these beams to fully dry out before the big fun work can begin.  Anyway, perhaps a picture tells the thousand words required hear:



This horribly drawn concept art hopefully conveys what I envision for what I am provisionally calling "Chez pâte"  This provisional Red Oak beam will replace a stupid wall that stands in the way of my dreams.  Anyway, hear my question:

Hey Roz, do you think sunshine yellow walls with hunter-green trim is a suitable color scheme for my kitchen?

I decided that since I will be the dishwasher (& undercover boss) that I should have a picture window overlooking the outside deck and dining area.  I am thinking that the oak beam should be supported by some sort of bracing that looks vaguely nautical in nature, and finished with several coats of Tung Oil (unstained of course).  If the artist I hired was worth a damn, you might be able to tell that the pot hanging from the hook was one of those old-style copper ones;  and he would've put more of them in there instead of photo-shopping in a stupid dog in a chef's hat (I don't think the Health Department would approve of that)...



Anyway, I would be interested in what you think other than it is awful that there is a roasted chicken sitting on the expo-table.  If you are still alive that is, Thanks In Advance!

[pate]

Hey Roz, want to go to the Missouri State Fair?

I have received from the State of Missouri two tickets good for any day between the 11th and 21st of August;  I am not sure if these are diplomatic perquisites for me as the duly-elected by unanimous vote Dictator-for-Life of the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate or for my tireless service and dedication to the State of Missouri in my status as a Proud Missourian.  Either way, I would be quite happy to show you the Show-Me State Fair.

ZZ Top, Tesla, KC and the Sunshine Band as well as many other somewhat notable groups will be there: https://www.mostatefair.com/attraction-type/live-music/.  Personally, I am torn between ZZ Top and Professor Farquar and Polecat Annie

We can stop by the MoDNR (Dept. Natural Resources) at the Historic Wimmins Building and see what is going on with that, you might enjoy that because of the lady stuff;  or maybe they toss all that wimmins-stuff in the backyard and fill the building up with displays about water, lumber and geology stuff?  I don't know, but it is Historic so you will probably want to see that...

Nautical Shore if there are rules about entering out-of-state livestock in the various competitions, but if you have a mule, show-pony, llama, horse or what-have-ewe maybe bring it along and see if it wins.

I have actually never been to the State Fair in all my years as a Proud Missourian, so I really don't know what to expect.  Other than it is in Sedalia, MO which I have driven past/through many times on fishing/hunting trips to Lake Truman.  There is a nice WalMart there where you can buy ammo, fish-hooks, and stinkbait or whatever you need...

Railroad/Amtrak station is likely, and there is a small airport...  only an hour or two drive from KC.



Other than ZZ Top and Prof. Farquar and Polecat Annie as top billed attractions;  certainly there will be rides &tc on par with the best itinerant carnival fare that this fine state can provide.  Funnel Cakes, Fried Twinkies/Candy Bars and other Corny Carny delights...  I did not see a Dog category in the livestock shows but there were several Pony categories, so there is at least half of the equation for fun.

[Jackstar]

I am not sure if these are diplomatic perquisites for me as the duly-elected by unanimous vote Dictator-for-Life of the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate

Number one, I did not receive any diplomatic inquiries as to your tickets, nor did they come through my office, so.. have you okay are these digital tickets or are they paper tickets if they're if they're paper tickets you probably haven't noticed that they smell or else you would have mentioned that, but if they're digital tickets and they have a odor well I wouldn't know how to check. (Imagination won't work well here, unless you're some sort of bloodhound; note that I can't really rule that out, based on the available telemetry at my disposal, but you don't usually seem like a bitch...

Number two, you are, there are no perhaps about it, you are meant for greater things and grander roles.

Code: [Select]

[b]pate\K-Dubb[/b] 4® [i]Shadowedge Prezlord 2024[/i]
‘B.L.A.S.S.E.D.: building better baby back baked-on Not_Just bacon grease in/‘n’\on oven klean/cleaning product brands the way the good Lord God above [u]intended[/u] that they be built [u]to be used by [i]Humans[/i][/u], [b]motherfü—[/b] *click*’

Number three: always go ZZ Top unless it comes down to a choice within between Eazy-E. (I think there's some typos in this one, but just run with it. It's been a hell of a week for everybody, I don't think anyone will mind if I'm unintelligible... just this once.)


p.s.: I've been to Missouri, it is beautiful there, your horoscope says watch out for suicidal trees.

p.p.s.: not sure about this one but if I have my way, I don't worry about them suicidal deer, I just run right into & over those fuckers, then circle around via flatspin to get the meat; but I'm a bastard and a Hungarian one at that, sooooo I was just covering the base.

p.p.p.s.: Speaking into the mic is easy; writing all this shit down is hard. This is why I'm sweeping teams, I don't have this kind of energy in my day anymore, and I'm sure we all profoundly grateful for that on its own merit, so I just want to tell you both good luck, Laverne's the only one counting on you... but that's okay: I am Laverne LaRouge.

p.p.p.p.s.: *sigh* no that's not my Indian name, but if you must know I don't have one yet so fuck you piss off I'm kind of sad about it, now I'm going to listen to nine inch nails bye slam

[pate]

[pate]

Hey Roz, are you going to get the Monkey-Butt Pox Caccine?

For the same reason I skipped the CornHoleEbola-19.5 caccine, I think I am going to opt out of this one as well.  I don't feel like I am at great risk from this disease either...

Also, I am not particularly worried about anyone's grandparents or older relatives dying of it.

[Jackstar]

I don't feel like I am at great risk from this disease either...

Opinions vary.

[pate]

The soya-bean harvest is nigh!

Hey Roz, have you ever attempted to make your own tofu?

I have a line on some Yellow Soybeans, Nautical Shore if those are what one would normally make tofu out of.

I think I will reel in that line and see what I can do in the tofu arena:  after all I have promised to make a faux-ribeye for you.

Let's see what Goggle can do for us:



That looks positively awful!  Hah!

I will refine the technique;  I think the judicious addition of beet-root & beet-juice might make for a satisfactory faux-ribeye.  I may even explore options for the inclusion of a faux-bone for a truly magnificent Bone-In faux-Ribeye.

I know bamboo shoots are edible, and pandas seem to enjoy that stuff so maybe bamboo will serve as the bone stand-in...



Or more properly:

[Colonel Pate Manly]

Well, definitely the first third was.

Hey ROz, would you be the Bene Gesserit Witch to my Baron Harkonnen?

That question will surely translate oddly across thymelines (rhymes with Heinlien).

Suffice it to say, that;  the left arm of my PersProEye a few weaks ago caused a strange lesion:  I was not sure of its source.

Strangly placked wund, Aye.

The closert:



Dokturds 'n' Benes nothwish'anding.

A second frecund ste 'f eyes, 'stewer?

CPM

$d9*eatsy ROz, would you be the Benhkj7xwish'anding.

A s5'ghd frecund ste 'f yes[/'wer?...

[Jackstar]

Hey ROz, would you

Ramona is my wizard now.

be the Bene Gesserit Witch to my Baron Harkonnen?[/b]

She says I'm hers now.

That question will surely translate oddly across thymelines (rhymes with Heinlien).

It hasn't occurred to me to try to go to an experience where the language is any much different, but I'm still confused by the neighbor's lack of ability to communicate. It seems strange to me that there's this total lack of authority and authenticity on this.

Suffice it to say, that;  the left arm of my PersProEye a few weaks ago caused a strange lesion:  I was not sure of its source.

I still haven't gone for medical attention on the right hand; it's important, I suppose, it's not going to get any better without due care.

Strangly placked wund, Aye.

The closert:

hcxps://youtu.be/SV1Gzii91eg

Dokturds 'n' Benes nothwish'anding.

A second frecund ste 'f eyes, 'stewer?

CPM

$d9*eatsy ROz, would you be the Benhkj7xwish'anding.

A s5'ghd frecund ste 'f yes[/'wer?...

This is hostel energy. I'm checking and tuning out.



Your communication has filled me with ennui.

[Lazarus]

I still haven't gone for medical attention on the right hand; it's important, I suppose, it's not going to get any better without due care.

Just ease up on the wapping, brother.

[Innerreach]

Just ease up on the wapping, brother.

[pate]

Hey Roz,

[pate]

Roz, I don't mean to be a dick or anything, but:

Hey Roz, what do you think about the "decapitated, mutilated animals left at Florida pro-life pregnancy center?"

I know you have strong feelings on both the abortion issue and about the mistreatment of animals.

I saw this story and wondered what your take on it would be.

Decapitated, mutilated animals left at Florida pro-life pregnancy center

ORLANDO, Fla. - Three animals were decapitated, mutilated, and dumped in front of a pro-life pregnancy center in Orlando.

A dead lamb, chicken, and another bird was found decapitated in front of the JMJ Pregnancy Center in Orlando. A staff member found the animals in front of the center when they were leaving for the day Wednesday afternoon...

There is apparently an embedded vidya, if you have any White Knight-type fiends that may have an interest in this story (aside from myself of course)...



I did not watch that particular vidya;  you may:  if you so choose.   

I believe, you might appreciate (as a Cat-lady) the following vidya in lieu of the one embedded in the story above:



Cheers!

[pate]

You had your chance to be close to him, apparently...

Probably, that could count as three questions, you may treat it as such, if you wish.

Thank you in Advance!



*click*