What we really want to know is how was your day in court? Are your testes still intact? Where do you go from here? Is this process being drawn out till doomsday? The plebs are wondering in their usual unrelenting way.
Jackstar (jack@trioptimum.com)
9 hours ago
Not partying at all. I await exoneration at trial while roving gangs of clandestine operators threaten my friends and just generally behave like flesh-peddling, chemically-dependent assholes. I don't even know how to party. I don't even know why to party.
No one tells me anything and I don't care about anything. No one listens or follows up. Left in the dark. Fed bullshit. I am not Mushroom royalty—but I don't need to sign anything to deny it either. (I might be a mushroom, but I'm not a rapist, can you believe these guys believe that a dog wrote my homework? That's actionable.)
I'm glad I don't have a cat. (Discord accounts “Jackstar” and “Kallistos” have been compromised and these people are stupid and desperate. Soon™.)
P.S.: nobody thinks that it's me, they're playing you, no one talks to me anyway. They only talk to you to pretend to be me pretending to be anything like You, Thuggy Spice. Thanks, now I know why it's impossible to make friends, NO ONE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH A GODDAM TREASONOUS RAT, SLIMEBALL.
P.P.S.: LIGHT THEM UP. (I can see why you thought I was in on it, but not that either. I NEVER PAID ATTENTION TO ANY OF THIS S*** UNTIL THIS YEAR. That's part of why I had a reputation for keeping my f****** mouth shut, coz I did, mostly because I didn't have friends, but it never occurred to be that someone would drag me around town and intentionally put me places in order to f****** leave a false trail for a f****** rape gang to come follow (WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH EWE PEOPLE WHAT THE F***? OH YOU'RE FEDS THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG. F*** YOU, FEDS) Now that's all blown to s***, like I don't understand why you don't get it, what you're doing is unlawful, stop it, go back to chasing ambulances, you dumb son of a b****.
I know you're not legitimate, because although you can't compel me to testify, a******, you can ask me politely for information, and then G-d and I can decide whether or not you should have it, but instead of asking me questions, you numb son of a f****** cock-gobbling f****** w****, you've instead done your little f****** clando routine around my whole f****** life alienating my entire existence and you are going to get f****** sued to the goddamn f****** Christmas trees Hanukkah b****
It's the most obvious f****** conflict of interest in the world, and you're fucked. I don't even have to do anything about it. I can just lay around and eat bon-bons all day. I'm not going to get a job. I'm not going to clean the garage. I'm not going to take away the trash. I'm just going to sit here and DO FUCKING NOTHING until you f****** hang yourself with all the goddamn rope that you already stole, MORONS.
THEY HAVE EVERYTHING.
THESE PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
AND
ROBERT (PROT) CASIO
RIDES AGAIN.
(Nice job, Officers. So you guys are all like *real* losers, huh?)
Let me know when your problems are serious. And if a woman says she wants to f****** visit me, let her f****** visit me.
NO BOYS ALLOWED. STINKY PUPPY DOGGO TAIL. EWE, GROSS. GO AWAY DEA YOU NASTY. YUCKY FILTHY NASTY GROSS.
DEA PROSTITUTES SUCK Uyghur COCK
PASS IT ON (KEEP YOUR HEP C THX)
Back story on this is awesomesauce and anyone going further down this road without talking to me about it and taking a statement is stupid, because I've said absolutely everything very loudly...
Except for the key critical pieces of information that make the whole thing put together make any sense at all.
And even if it does, your little smell-o-machinate-&-shun machine doesn't have the truth.
THE TRUTH IS I'M SITTING HERE ALONE
2 YEARS
NOTHING'S HAPPENING
AND IF YOU BELIEVE THAT THERE EVER WAS
YOU ARE ONE DUMB NUMB-FUCKIN’ OINKIN & BOINKIN’ IN A D.U.M.B., PIG
(*Ding!*) Looks like I just became a hostile witness, m***********, what you got to say to that? BECAUSE YOU'RE SET, GAME, & MATCH GAME MATCH PART OF IT ALL—
THE END OF YOUR THUGGY-PIGGY DOPE SLINGIN' EMPIRE, SPINNIN’ WEBS IN DR RX SLINGIN’ MORONS, DO YOU THINK I'M NOT AWARE THAT YOU'RE ANNOYED THAT YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL I'M ASLEEP BEFORE YOU DO CERTAIN THINGS? I CAN HEAR YOU BITCHING ABOUT IT AT THE WATER COOLER NOW!
I can stay awake for a long time. Or I go to sleep anytime I want. Imagine the freedom. The exhilaration!
FREEDOM!
It's no small thing.
NOW LET MY GODDAMN FRIENDS TALK TO ME OR THERE'S GOING TO BE TROUBLE
YOU PUNYLINGS HAVE NOT EVEN EVER YET SEEN THE BEGINNING OF EVEN THE MEREST HINT OF A WIDTH OF TROUBLE!
I MEAN IT. PS: I DON'T LIKE YOUR BEARD ANYMORE. *clap clap* Guards! Send her away! *clop clop* YES THAT'S RIGHT: (BLANK) (PROT) (BLANK) JUNIOR HAS NO DICKLESS SCREEN CREDIT IN GHOSTBUSTERS PART 3, BUT NEVERTHELESS HE IS THE HEART AND SOUL OF THE PICTURE—
AND HE WILL M************ BURN YOUR ENTIRE F****** DRIVE-IN MOVIE THEATER TO THE GROUND. YOU WANT I SHOULD GO TO ANY RANDOM CRACK HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY AND START TALKING S***, COZ I SURE SHOULD F****** AND CAN...
Can you? *laugh*
KANLY: IT'S NOT ABOUT POWER NOW
IT'S ABOUT A BLOOD FEUD, BI-B****
(“Be careful with *my* fruits,” said Irving Moses, The Fruiterer. “If you have any idea how expensive imported gooseberries are when they're ordered fresh out of season from Madagascar... well you'd probably quit your job, to tell you the truth. DON'T YOU DO IT I WILL CUT YOU FROM RAISIN STEM TO APPLE CORE AND LEAVE YOU A BANANA SMILE TO REMEMBER ME BY:
DOE NOT FUC CUR JAK KYS TAR FRŪ. IT.
OFFICIAL NO SQUEEZE IS CHARMIN LIST:
*.*JANE*.*
*.*SHAW*.*
*.*JORD*.*
*.*ANN?*.*
*.*BAIL*.*
*.*CRIP*.*
*.*TUBE*.*
KCAN==PA¡N
(In fact yes, I know what I'm doing.... Desperately trying to remember if I have any other friends left, I don't think so, look if you're hot or you got a sister's hot and you want to keep them alive send me an email with your last name or your name or something the f****** reminds me who the f*** you were cuz you sure sure is not f****** talking to me, and remind me of why you have a category of person that shouldn't be included in the list of the f****** knives out apocalypse that's coming down the door, cuz this isn't my idea
IT'S MR THEA HART 'S👁️🗨️I DEA
May the creator have mercy on your undivided souls. BALL IN PLAY.
DO NOT PLAY BALL.
WORK (boo!) BALL. (hiss!) ^*📯*^ (ooh! ah!)
{Jackstar acknowledges that there's probably a reason why he's been kept along this live... but #officially he has no idea why he's not dead already, where's the drain cleaner just let him GARGLE IT WITH BLEACH AND FIRE: ELECTRIC EXECUTIVE BOOGA ORDER LOO 409 NEIN NEIN, 666 YES YES YASSS§⚕️(b**** I could spell “Caduceus” without the f****** thing workspeller working it for me, obviously I know what I'm doing, yeah you probably should call me. Yeah. I don't have your phone number.
I'll just wait.)
I bet you will have joy and fun today bye
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