Letters To Future Greatfield {DO NOT OPEN WHINE BEFORE {ITS) TIME}

[Jackstar]

Asking for my friend who's an eagle.

She's pretty persistent. Keeps on whining about some matter of the stolen tail feathers. Like I give a shit? For my money, I can tune out a banshee, I can tune out a goddam eagle. FUCK YOUR COUCH CLICK

[Worthauger]

(The names are the names.)

I don't even remember how much I paid, but I remember that I remembered to steal the tip from the bartender's mother. BOTH mothers!!!

[Worthauger]

lol

"somebody is also a shapeshifter"

had A Shadow Person come in the other day too -- didn't last long, teehee


(*shoulda let me play ball, Coach*)

[AZZERAE]

had A Shadow Person come in the other day

One night, my crazy wizard uncle got pushed onto the floor, and was briefly knocked unconscious by a shadowy figure.

He said it so matter-of-factly it couldn't have been bullshit.

Traipsing to the bathroom before dawn, nog al.

[AZZERAE]

I don't even remember how much I paid, but I remember that I remembered to steal the tip from the bartender's mother.

Just the tip?

[AZZERAE]

I'm sitting in a bar watching football...

GO BEARS!!!

[AZZERAE]

Should have let me play ball, Coach. That Rudy? He's an order-taker. No wonder you like him so goddam much.

True. Many a window washer got sodomised with a squeegee.

[AZZERAE]

I just accidentally doxxed someone, and my truck immediately got pulled into the Death Star with a very subtle, very evident, very notable tractor beam. My hand to G-d.

Remember to xerox them, before they crack.

[Worthauger]

Remember to xerox them, before they crack.

I have Minions to do this kind of thing for me. People, really.

[Worthauger]

Just the tip?

I'm a Hungarian; the tip is the whole Blessed thing, Baby.

[Worthauger]

One night, my crazy wizard uncle got pushed onto the floor, and was briefly knocked unconscious by a shadowy figure.

He said it so matter-of-factly it couldn't have been bullshit.

Traipsing to the bathroom before dawn, nog al.

It was a teleport_in-ambush_strike_teleport_out attempt. Fact. It failed. Fact. Shields. TotesfacT.

It kinda tickled a bit. Not gonna lie. Tell your uncle I will kick down the tek docks in exchange for a bucket full of 'Ludes.

[Worthauger]

True. Many a window washer got sodomised with a squeegee.

Still -- superior to a (Blank) internship -- relational hemorrhaging notwithstanding.

[WORTHAUGERa]

It was a teleport_in-ambush_strike—teleport_out attempt. Fact. It failed. Fact. Shields. TotesfacT.

It kinda tickled a bit. Not gonna lie.

By the way, fret not: at this point, I would try to kill me too. Give up. Christianity is stupid. Shop as usual — and avoid panicked stick strikes.

[Master Trollda]

By the way, fret not: at this point, I would try to kill me too. Give up. Christianity is stupid. Shop as usual — and avoid panicked stick strikes.

You’re stupid.

[Master Trollda]