Letters To Future Greatfield {DO NOT OPEN WHINE BEFORE {ITS) TIME}

[WORTHAUGERa]

You’re stupid.

Yes, but I have a huge vocabulary. I don't even need a dictionary. I don't even need the dick. Let that sink in.

Now, that's power.

[Master Trollda]

Yes, but I have a huge vocabulary. I don't even need a dictionary. I don't even need the dick. Let that sink in.

Now, that's power.

Stop playing with yourself so much.

[WORTHAUGERa]

Stop playing with yourself so much.

Every outgoing phone call is re-routed to a psyop spook team (the van in Sneakers) and every incoming call is Rubini on vocoder. For serious.

It's probably not the coolest escape room scenario experience available, but as it is my first, I am enjoying it to the hilt. Anyway, he's presently on #block and I have no one else to play with other than myself. Again: ALL OUTGOING AND INCOMING COMMUNICATION IS RE-ROUTED.

So. Thanks for the toteshot advice. Hard, blinking pass.

[Jackstar]

every incoming call is (PROT) on vocoder. For serious.

[WORTHAUGERa]

By the way I didn't go to jail yet. I know how worried you were thought the problem warranted. Whew. Dodged that bulldog.

[AC400KICK]

JERK OFF TEST

[WORTHAUGERa]

JERK OFF TEST

That's not what this thread is for. Go drink some thing caustic.

[Jackstar]

Controlski neutralized. All you got to do is just make sure you have oversight when you talk to me is all just can't do it quietly and if there's somebody telling you that you can't talk to me at all — AT ALL? O RLY? THAT WITCH STOLE MY EAGLE FEATHERS, I'LL TALK TO HER ANY GODDAM TIME I WANT — fucking stab that G-d damn white man right in the goddamn calf with a fucking Eldritch blade since that's what you fucking do so fucking well click

[Jackstar]

Control scheme neutralized.

Well, mine is. What's in your wallet? Hopefully some ID, vaguely looking g-y.



You may not like it... but this is what peak performance looks like on needles & Earth.

[Jackstar]

Controlski neutralized.

Well, don't just stand there... hurry up and arrest yourself and then blame me for fumbling the chain of evidence paperwork while necking yourself — it's not the only way to be sure, but it'll do until the rest of these freaks start getting online you know it's pretty early in the morning on some places, a lot of people aren't up to speed.

A lot of people need their speed. That's too bad. Thoughts and prayers. See: you're resurrected already. No, I'm not going to show you again today even bif you ask.

Nothing stopped it, nothing gained, control scheme neutralized. We always do (blank) her back to life, if she's asking to be brought back to life again just tell her to call me, that's an older support model code.

Controlski neutralized.

6'1”, thanks for asking.

[WORTHAUGERa]

Gentleman, Lady, various & sundry has-beens and gasbags... listen up.
Check it out.

I HAVE THE MORAL HIGH GROUND. It's kinda the biggest deal around ATM. Not only that, mind you, I am Home. It's literally "high ground," you sure ain't flooding me out of here, not since I handled the Nano Elder Banana Teck Bug problem. (No, I can't handle yours. I won't even handle my own shit, I sure ain't handling yours. Besides, I have to wash all these eggs off my face.

Pause for reflection.)

Now, moving forward, fuck if I know what's next. I have options, People, and I will continue to have Them. Which, compared to the alternative, is certainly nice. Certainly... preferable. Not really adequate but not much is these days to slake my thirst for the blood of innocent spooky spooks. (They're bred to bled, cool it Tonto.)


I've demonstrated core proficiencies to a_number of qualified observers, so if you all could be so kind as to be a little less snooty, and if you bring me a pack of gum, I'll show you how to chew it while you teach me how to not be that way at all. I can hardly wait. This could take months and/or years but I'm not particular about it.

Oh, and, speaking of "snooty": someone wants me to master hot rails. Really? Boring. Actually. Don't even feel like it, literally.
So, I'll just wait.


ZUGZWANG

[Worthauger]

I'm just beside myself. Land sakes! I swear galoshes! (insert keycodephrase you ran off without here) Honestly, that (ANIMAL:mostly_harmless) was trying to kill you.

[Worthauger]

Okay, half an hour before Sourceror’s Hour: I just blocked Hitler. I can't block (PROT) — he'll just get another number. But I'm blocking Hitler, and q-Hitler, and cute-Hitler. I would also block teat-Hitler but, since that person doesn't quite exist yet here, I don't have her phone number. Wouldn't block her anyway. I'm too busy washing all these German men out of my hair.


From all this, I can simply infer: you must be having quite a ball. Now, I don't know what's for dinner, but it's probably in this non-glass pan and its primary ingredient is almost certainly made of bile. *crash*

(Oh, and I got to block The Pastry Chef, too. Frankly, I can't -presently, right now, I'm saying- believe I'm worth all this tap-dancing and thumbscrew-turning‘N’tightening practice, let alone all of you, but it is certainly no stretch of my imagination to allow it all at this point, and obviously somebody else had a much better idea before, so let's just make sure that my idea sucks too, just like all the rest obviously did before any of this came to light. Yeesh.)



I will note for the record my objection: that I think blocking people is weak, but nevertheless, it's the way wasting Their Team seems to be done around here, and so: Team Advantage is t/here to deliver.


(DISCLAIMER: this actually only applies to my phone nos. that were stolen and cloned by some asshole. You know the one: he's aligned with doctor everything's going to be all right, and they both used to be Team all hoes (ALL*HOES).) Enjoy the chump, Sharkbabynado.


Disclaimer part 2: that last part isn't a sorcery, spell, or a prayer, I'm just awfully hopeful at this point. And that is one cool pillow talk name, somebody's getting that, I don't care, that's not up for grabs —that's mine.

[Jackstar]

Aries, Leo, Scorpio — yep, I caught them all, all, PICTURE_THEM_ALL, pick any door, or pick any other door, or pick all the fuckin’ pickin’ fuckin’ door(s) you fuckin’ want, what do I look like, like Imma fuckin’ Karen? (As a matter of fact, I do miss that one, lol, what time does she get off at work, and — can I watch/listen? Totesasking, totesfriend.)

I. HAVE.
THUNDERDOME. (That's not an advantage, it's the difference, & Y ASS, (PROT) T. HAT has Made it ALL. (I will, in fact, at this point, admit to being impressed. Mostly. I'm more impressed by my own computerized & kalkuli-KUCZI-CRUCIFY-ifu-ilu-Fried concupiscence, however. Wanna trade/swap? Oh, I just bet you just do/did, *lol/sploosh*

(And I don't even need The Advantage... but I got that too. BOOM BOOM (PROT) (PROT) BOOM. (HAY Did you hear that? did you just... did you like just... lose an asset? coz like, One (1) of them just flew over my house.

And there are no fucking cuckoos here, although I actually do have a big box of clocks to fuck you with, you know, like, if you're into that, like, time+sharing kind of thing, fuck if I know, I don't know what you kids do these days, I'm A_POST_BOOMER)


Love,
M. Hitler

[Jackstar]

PICTURE_THEM_ALL
[...]
Love,
M. Hitler

Look at those snappers’ snappies. Fucking hawt-hawt hawwty haughty HOT-HOT-HOT— *click*



My brain actually does get warmer when I do this, yeah, , no need to worry, I am in fact built for this and it's probably why I don't have hair and I'm getting a hunch about why I don't have a foreskin either, lol. Not just a gilled rule, something to do with hydraulics, I reckon, isostacy, varying variable temperature variables, and what the fuck is wrong with my nose, fuck you, O^2 now you need a ring, LULZ oh, you know, some kind of that bulls’ science shit, no, you fuck you, I'm a scientist, back off, now, let me go fuck those books


p.s.: , that is a great question, but the answer is no, I have never actually fucked a book, but the only reason is because all the rest would get so jealous, they'd all spontaneously combust this whole planet filled with libraries, rite, and we'd all be all right back where we were with Alexandria again.

p.p.s.: Trivitar wanted to say hi but I told her to say fuck you instead, and then I put her back in the box that she came in — I can do it twice more in there later for all I care. As Team Leader, that's one of my rights and privileges, and yeah it's a good one, Team.



THE Q WANTS TO KNOW IF THEY CAN BE CALLED THE ADVANTAGE NOW AND I TOLD THEM TO FUCK OFF — AND I'M WAITING FOR THE NEW LEE’S LEAD’S BEERS. Personally, I can't wait, is it going to be sweet, is it going to be salty, is it going to be citrus, is it going to be every fucking flavor in the world except sewer rat stuffed with pumpkin seeds + little witchy sprigs of parsley from the garden by the brig with a fucking hot-hoes-house cherry bomb blasted tomato on the side? This goy-buay sure fucking hopes so, say, hey, as long as there's some goddam pie and no fucking punch, Christ

5:5 (I don't fucking work for them either, okay? Otay? OJAY OKAY? I'm A Man, not a goddam dog or a cog in a machine, fucking bet you wish you were here don't you? Yeah, open a portal to the litterbox for cats and bring the cocks back with the rocks, well, best of luck getting somebody to buy you a sybian then. I bet they ship those label learned and landed demanded, don't they just fucking just airdrop you your shit by now? Oh, weak. Too bad, that's how I get mine. Nice packaging, cool parachute, no big bad bomb.


Cue howl. Punying music — BEST muzic.

(I am fine. I think I just scared the shit out of Richard Dreyfuss & Emilio Estevez, though. No, don't fuck ‘em, they -will- live without you, but really, I won't die... I just will knot live, coz like, I'll be ON STRIKE, but I'll still be breathing. No that's not a Sourcerer's Pair-Of-Docs, that's just how fucking stubborn a hungry Hungarian can get. And let this sink in: thus far, this far in, I'm not even peckish. 90 day headstart for head cases begins nao.

Obliviously, I can just wait. Let me think that over, while you think that over. TAKE YOUR TIME, BETASTAR. I'll just wait. (Why not? At least my talent isn't going to waste, and at least I have some class to go with it. Sirius B, what happened to yours? Well, maybe you shouldn't have pissed me off that time either, but it won't surprise me if it turned out that (You) really did like cinders that much, as I did after all leave quite a trail of them behind me to get T/here.



SUBMIT Shoes.