NGL: PaladinVision™ is remarkably effective at helping with certain types of speculation.

I do hope that reverse engineering this particular psyop protocol for my own benefit isn't a high crime or misdemeanor — but as no one will know what I've done unless I disclose it, I am not overly concerned.

In the meantime: what have we learned here, Bellgab? Number one: y'all are gobshite at your jobs when the target is a Source Titan. (Facts.) For example, I suppose it is imagined that a failure to achieve max peak ejaculatory apex orgiastic bliss is something that would be a... disappointment. Quite the contrary.

Newly five (5) years ago, I was asked if I had been doing this dame up in her pooper. I hadn't been. I still haven't been. However, here's what I have been doing: documenting the event for my Astral partners.

THEY HAVE EVERYTHING. (Imagine the smell.) They see me; they see her; they see whichever of you sad honk-honk clan dough bastiches spend your free fkn time observing this kind of hootenanny carnivale; and, God willing, the whack-job NerdLordz™ in their subterranean NerdLabz™ are observed to be weeping and wailing away with infuriated, frustrated rage, as the telemetry that they expected to obtain... is denied them, as it has instead been replaced by the telemetry I decided instead that they are to have.

THIS IS WHAT ONE MAN CAN DO: 🐒🔧 Pause now for a moment, and consider the effectiveness. Likely it is breathtaking, and if only I could assure you, I surely would.

However, at this time I can only state that I can neither confirm nor deny the effectiveness of the counterintelligence psychological operation I am running as a homebrew dealiē-0. (Standards.)

And now I must ask you all here: is this really a better idea than being something other than a bunch of Sperghead fuckwit mouthdrooling, larcenous assholes? Because, like: come on man.

It seems to me if you're gonna engage in a conspiracy to deny civil rights and unlawfully imprison someone for years, you might as well do it for something worthwhile. (Welcome to Amateur Hour.) Remember: this is for the Ombudsman of the United States Congress. If ever there were a time for game face: on, I should think that this was it.

But, again: this is really all just mere speculation. And of course, as always: I am really just some sexually-obsessed needle junkie. Isn't that right? (Remember that Bellgab is your Number One Source for Jackstar-focused news. Every seven years! Like clockwork! Facts that can be relied upon.

Facts that Grand Juries can trust.) Be of good cheer. This is really, just the beginning. (OF YOUR DOOM, THUGGY-DOPEY WHACK-JOB SCUM.) Good talk. Later b∞

Infernally Yours?

I don't own anyone. I have no interest in expanding my holdings and having resolved one T.E.R.F. war already this year, I am reluctant to trigger another conflict over your community milksop. (Standards.) Additionally, this is not the same person that I once briefly dated in the 90s.

I do not have an arrangement that involves casual sex with whomsoever clocks in to work that day. It's not complicated. It is simple. Like your instincts.

I am grateful for these spiritual lessons. They are not for my sole and exclusive benefit. They are helpful to any who might happen to be paying attention. I do believe that happens from time to time.

Yet once again: this is all mere speculation.

https://voca.ro/11jGIvCr0O6s


I regret having only one thought on my mind all the time that is always staying with me: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Without faglord Inspector Harms on site, no one would think anything unusual had happened at all.

It's not really all that obvious but it is a 100% faithful replacement swap of whatever ecosystem was there before. This *will* pass muster. Don't repeat this conversation. And I was never here.

Not even to poop. Blame it on the cat. Also I'm going to start stealing cars. I figure they might have money inside them. What? That's my job now. I asked The Medusæ to leave. I am embarrassed by how the police do their jobs.

They let me let them get away. Again? I guess we're past all that now. #Officially.


As God as my witness, I truly believed you understood: I am paid in freedoms. Ewe are not paid at all.

And none of you will ever find my wimmins. It's just easier if all of you feel like there's a reason to steal things to relieve your frustrated tensions, especially as you're going to steal from me anyway. That's your brand. (We're shy. Fuck off.)

tl;dr: kick rocks, NerdThugs™. PORTAL. Adieu.

How’s my baby marshmallow cream puff doing?

https://voca.ro/11NoIgvMa3A7

YouTube™ is fucking dead to me. Audioship.io is an actual criminal enterprise. Just kidding.

Please enjoy this latest installment of my soon-to-be award-winning debrief, 5 Minutes With Jackstar. This one has it all: profanity, slander, defamatory speech, I'm publishing it while standing outside the DSHS building pissing into the bushery, and obviously there's no end of benefit gained by making things difficult for me.

I don't want to tell you how low some people will sink, but let me tell you: they'll get pretty petty. A violation of my civil rights, it's like they don't even know what the Constitution is, I guess. And some of them are Argentinian expats. I guess they really don't care, and also I think some of them are from another planet. Like actually.

Welcome to Gaia, Space Nerds. I run a pretty tight ship around here. That's why I usually don't have to go this far to make my point.

I don't really know why I had to this time, but I'm guessing that every single one of my ex-girlfriends’ kids all love it. I'm sure they'll all grown up hearing their parents whine and cry about what a bastard I am, that's usually how it happens. Because none of them have any idea what they've done, and then rather than find out what I'm doing they just assume it's because of all the reasons that I've allowed them to be quite easily misled into believing are true. Meanwhile, all children love everything that their parents hate. It's a law of sociology that is never broken. Only stretched.

I don't want to make too big a deal about this, but many of you hurt my feelings. What am I going to do? Fucking call 911? Take it to the courts? Yeah I could go off of you when they're still court system about my hurt fee-fees. Sounds fucking brilliant. Maybe I have a better idea.

Or maybe not, maybe I'm just as petty as any of you are. That's all right for all of you, but somehow for me it's some sort of a terrible thing that y'all get to abrogate my right civil rights to prevent happening? I don't know if any of you thought this through. Maybe you're incapable of doing so since you're in the grip of some sort of spastic sexual addiction relapse cycle. It seems like it's pretty hard to break. Damn. Who could have seen that coming?

Basically everyone, but it took a real visionary such as myself to build an entire plan around it and then to get all of you to believe that I'm just some kind of an idiot. No I'm a goddam strategic mastermind genius of modern battlespace social warfare. This isn't about getting laid.

This is about living for a long and happy life afterward without having people chase me down and kill me for being an asshole. That shit can happen. Emmett Till wasn't all that long ago. He barely did anything and they hung his ass from a tree. That's how savage the American people are. They're not even sorry about it.

Similarly: people hate me because they think I cheated the system somehow. I did not. I simply did what I was supposed to do. Some people seem to have thought that was to make shitloads of money. Ha! Ha! Ha!

I did. I just didn't keep any of it. Where did it go? Probably the same place my Xbox X and my orb went. “I don't know! I don't know!” Who needs money so goddam bad? Evidently, some people who didn't understand that I was deeply and obscenely insulted. I still am.

Omg! Other people are now as well? Well, holy fucking shit call the National Guard. No big deal before, but now it's a big fucking crisis. Uh-huh. I see. How absolutely goddam fascinating. Oh I totally feel a lot better now. I'm lying.

As God's my witness, I truly don't know what to do about it. I'm thinking we should all send packages of condoms to Beulah and then she can tell us how to handle the situation best. Because after all: I might be brainwashed. I probably am. Like what else could I be? She could be the new Abby. Just imagine it. “Dear Beulah.” Hang on.


And it was totes okay to let this churn and burn for years, huh? How delightful. Hey, here's an idea: return my personal property immediately or face reprisals. (NGL: either way is probably good for me, carpetbagging scum.) There really was absolutely no reason to do all this repeatedly to multiple people in order to get me to change my behavior. You could have just asked nicely.

However: That wouldn't have gotten you as many orgasms. Sex addiction is hilarious. When every tool one has is based upon getting all sticky... anyway, you twerps are supposed to be professionals. I ran rings around all of you while you abrogated my civil rights and you did it in full of view of federal investigators, so... What are you going to do, classify me? Cool. I can't wait for that high school reunion now. I can tell them I invented extra sticky Post-it notes. Fucking hell, I don't have to tell them anything at all.

I don't have to: I get to. (Word.) How do you like them goddam crabapples, Punyling™ swine? Just kidding. I don't give a toss in the wind about your feelings. Just kidding.

Fact of the matter is I don't know how to feel, kind of depends on how many of you want to snuggle.  I'm mercurial like that, and if you don't like it, go fuck yourself. You had your chance to be close to me. Now. Here's Michael Vandeven with the weather. Or some facsimile thereof. Blah blah blah yada yada yada whatever.

Cheer up. It's only 5 more months of this. Maybe you can make some more jokes about my dead cat, oh by the way, funny story about that, except it's classified. Seriously, for real. Also, it's kind of weird how I respect classified intelligence status and then all of you got to use it as some kind of weird creepy thing where you got to pick on the fat lonely kid and then traffic his family away from him and then fuck them in an orgy. It doesn't seem strange to you. That does seem strange to me.

I don't want to shit on any ongoing investigations or anything, but it seems like you might want to start paying attention to it because that whole Epstein thing and that P Diddy thing and that all that shit seems kind of boring and lame, and then this is where the action is. And apparently nobody wants to talk about it. (Punyling™ bourgeoisie schweinhund untermensch reprobative scum NERDS.) That makes sense. It used to be pretty scary. And I've abandoned everything in my entire life and all my worldly possessions and all my friends and my family and I've been alone for years and have had to be relentlessly persecuted by assholes, just to bring you all of this. So I hope you like my content. Who wouldn't? (Assholes.)

And I hope Bellgab likes prison. Guess what? They can still work from home on the internet from there, and they can work for my country, they can work for my President, and my sweeties can be impressed and feel safe when they go to sleep at night. In whatever media market they please. That's The Jackstar Promise. (Also, I'll take your opinion into consideration when I think about banging your sisters. I guarantee it.)


Any questions? Write them down, I'll answer them later when I'm done. Forgetting all about you and assuming that you're meaningless scum is something I'm never very good at it, but I'll give it a shot. I'm just trying to fit in. I'm kind of new around here. I'm not really sure how everything works.

I'm lying. I know exactly how this works. I shall not leave you hanging. Can you enjoy your lives without me while I call and experience rejection one more time? I think it's fine. And I'm not really sure exactly what the problem is, but... damn someone really has a really strong opinion about all this, don't they?

Maybe they should display some integrity about it then. You people are vile. They call you “Sewer Gab” for a reason. And I fucking owned you. On time and under budget. So there.

Her name was Jewel.
As God as my witness. I truly believed you turkeys knew that The Plan was to shove to chickens and ducks into you along with cornbread stuffing and then leave you in an oven for hours while you roasted a nice golden brown. I guess I was too subtle.

It's not really about power. But mass murder would have been too obvious. Adieu.

https://voca.ro/11NoIgvMa3A7