Angie From New Jersey & David Rubini: Paranormal Faggotry

[WORTHAUGERa]

I just want to be left alone.”

Job opening: detected.

[Worthauger]

Job opening: detected.

Hi. I'm your temporary substitute teacher today, Toadies Flunkies. Anyway I made the return trip with seconds of spare not even a problem and here I am answering the call where's where's Commander where's where's the divider where's the educator oh wait that's me I'm here there so what's the rest of the deal I thought they had chemistry!

Oh shit did somebody give himself cut off wow I bet that sucks I can't imagine what that's like cuz I've never been so fucking stupid is to be fucking can't really dependent and then get myself cut off but but I have got myself cut off from your fucking idiot bullshit harem witch.

So, basically, what I'm telling you, is that we're good. And they had to fucking summon some of you back to get this shit done so whatever.

I don't expect to hear anymore skepticism out of you people. Yeah, my wife was fucking murdering raped, don't worry you don't know her, she'll be back, no I don't think DVR did it, no, somebody did it, I'm sure they'll figure it out, I don't think any of you know what the fuck happened and I'm really fucking glad.

There was a conspiracy there's proof of it just cuz she was raped doesn't mean DVR did it just because she said that he did doesn't mean she's on the hook just cuz I say DVR and rape all the fucking time doesn't mean anything you can fucking sue me yeah come down and get some David you know what the fuck I'm saying yeah let's go to court you don't have to worry about it here I am in the show I'm not doing anything

 neither is he.


Don't think I couldn't, and no I am not high on methamphetamine but I bet you fucking wish I was don't you? Lol, fucking puny links

[Jackstar]

Can you believe it? This post isn't an attempt to contact her either. It's incredible. It's almost as though a legal loophole has been found, detected, and rather than having been used to exploit, I simply made note of it until a future, strategically selected time.

Also, whoever tried to trick me into hiding, tricking, and/or deceiving The Court by pretending to be a minor child, well... that evidence dissappeared, and of course I didn't report the matter to Police--get real, Kids--but whether is was discovered and added to The Charges List, or whether someone had a crisis of conscience... well, honestly, I don't care, and I am not attempting to achieve Early Contact to find out.

I mean, sure, I am curious. What the actual fuck? C'mon, I wanna know. I get that I don't get to know. I still 'wanna' know. This expression of "wanting" is not an attempt to make Contact.

I am attempting to find out what the "Emergency" is, though. Last time I was in, I saw The Prosecutor, he looked like a goddam deer in the headlights as I showed up and patiently watched The Court do its... well, uh, its "thing." Like, what the fuck? Well, whatever. It's not my problem or area of concern, and if that officious little prick is terrified that I'm going to end his career with one well-timed civil lawsuit he should be terrified... because I know how to do it, I don't even need to hire a goddam attorney, I can file all the shit myself. And then what's he gonna do? Claim he wasn't a fucking cunt who violated my civil rights? He did it in front of all his fucking buddies! Who put him up to it! So he would be the first to take the fall!

He looks like he's got a taste for the opiates, honestly. Anyway, that's what's up. Anyone wanna know anything else? I am a -font- of information. Feel free, don't be a stranger.

That even goes for David--who is, quite shockingly unblocked again. Already. You know, I am surprised too, but it would seem that someone in my camp is fond of giving him the opportunity to shoot himself in the goddam foot. Again.


And, who recorded that phone call? Who gave it to Azzerae? Is this proof that David is under 24/7 surveillance? Shit, when have any of us -ever- not been surveilled? And... does what's-her-nuts still think I'm working with human traffickers, has she told her counselors/therapists/doctors that, and... like, seriously, that's a real fear? Huh, maybe she'd feel more secure if she were paying rent.

Which, of course, she is not. Or if she is, it's not to my benefit to know, which at this point, could very well be possible. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to commune with the ancestor sprits that I met when I went to the property by myself for the first time. They like me. I was polite when I got there. Said hello and was honest and everything.

Apparently not everyone else believed me when I said it was a haunted house and everything there needed to be for the benefit of one person: ME.


I don't want to evict her. I want her to apologize. It's not my fault she thinks I can evict people: I can't. Only my mother's lawyer can do that.

And, he hasn't. So it must be pretty complicated. Maybe I'll get read in for my birthday? Oh, maybe that would ruin it.


The longer this takes, the better I feel. And you know what? I might just not even go home even when they do lift the fucking thing. How about them apples?

Have your people contact my people, Coward. Stop getting your hands dirty, poor David sounds like he's about to have a goddam stroke these days. Jesus, you people are mean.

And if you read that last line over again to yourself and thought about it real carefully, you got a little bit meaner, just now, didn't you? Yeah maybe.

[WORTHAUGERa]

« Reply #139 on: Today at 11:17:33 »

Boss, I'm pretty sure this major—Major—fucking day, just made mine. For once I know exactly what's going on a lot more than anybody else on the planet or the world of the glow whichever all three hi I'm the trinity not really.

I am far cuter and my hair used to be Auburn. Not Autumn anyway, moving on: I should probably put the clothes on. Right, what if I just walk around naked for the next fucking 32 days? How about 33 days? How about you check that timestamp? How about if I do a mic drop no I'm not holding a mic I'm holding the vapor and I could drop the vape anytime yeah you got the winner here.

I'M VAPING HUCKLEBERRIES AND THAT BITCH STOLE MY RING AND SHE IS A BITCH, BUT THAT'S ONLY ONE PERSON AND SHE'S NEVER HERE, AND I LOVE ALL THE REST AND YES THEY'RE ALL WITCHES AND THERE'S WAY MORE THAN 19 OF THEM.

YEAH I BROUGHT THE WHOLE FUCKING GANG I GOT THEM ALL. YOU'RE WELCOME NOW RELAX THOUGH. BECAUSE ONE OF THEM'S YOUR WIFE.

YEAH THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT HE JUST *CLICKED* fuck I love that shit it never gets old, and yeah that fucking guy loves me otherwise I'd be fucking dead right? lol

Hey I knew on the internet you don't even know how I was talking to do you? Sweet, see I told you it would work, and then they told me it would work too and and no matter how many times they told me it would work I never fucking believe it till I fucking saw it work.

You don't hate to see it, you love to see it, and then you can't love to see it out loud because then it sets up a paranormal dynamic well now it doesn't do that anymore. I'm not really sure what it did the first place cuz I wasn't in that game, and now we got a new game I guess the shell gang, lol

Look at that fucking timestamp 11: 17: 33 ??

GET THE FUCK OUT SLAM DUMP YEAH I DON'T EVEN FUCKING TELL ME THAT THAT'S A FUCKING COINCIDENCE OR THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER FUCKING SLAM DUMP GO AHEAD AND DUNK THAT IN YOUR DONUT BIRCHWITCH! BOOM BOOM!!


I don't fucking hate cops but I don't fucking love them either, that's why your case is unraveling, because you broke the fucking law trying to bust me when I didn't even busted not talking to you trolley fucking fuck you fuck you fuck you, I'm still not talking to you Charlie. Oh oops I better hit backspace where's that button oh shit look submit

[Jackstar]

yeah you got the winner here.

I'M VAPING HUCKLEBERRIES AND THAT BITCH STOLE MY RING AND SHE IS A BITCH, BUT THAT'S ONLY ONE PERSON AND SHE'S NEVER HERE, AND I LOVE ALL THE REST AND YES THEY'RE ALL WITCHES AND THERE'S WAY MORE THAN 19 OF THEM.

YEAH I BROUGHT THE WHOLE FUCKING GANG I GOT THEM ALL. YOU'RE WELCOME NOW RELAX THOUGH. BECAUSE ONE OF THEM'S YOUR WIFE.

AND... I HAVE HER LOVE LETTERS AT AGE CLASS. NO, NO BRACKETS. I DON'T NEED THOSE BABYLADY. I DON'T NEED ANYTHING AT ALL.

Hey it's my favorite month and my favorite number. I got tired of “Everything Forever 21 Forget 9/11” who all forgot it! and then everybody can remember 519 now! For whatever reason, I'm sure you'll think of one. And if you can't, I know that I can because I'd love to do the time warp again! that's my favorite thing to fucking do! Jesus, christ, especially now. let's do it! now! where's the button! I'll fucking push it! Oh it's under glass and you have to be on glass and you have to work for Looking Glass well, it works for me. Oh shit a dump truck of rain just fell on my house.

Hi! Contact sweety. See? you're fine. get some tissue, you're not going to die. Yes some loathsome drug dealers are going to die I don't know they maybe already did that and then after that they'll be a cascading ripple weird thing and it's going to be fine honestly I got no enemies that I know of and then the ones that I didn't know of probably are NO5 my enemies now, LOL.

YEAH I'M NOT GOING TO LIE IT'S PRETTY GOOD TO BE AN INJECTOR RIGHT NOW. Because I haven't used needles in months, and there's no need for me to, I'm just like this all the time, I don't need to be high on what you're on. Whatever that may be, you know I'm not judging but chemical dependence can creep up on somebody.

Yosemite Sam can wake up k-dubb and tell him that I'm fine that'll be good he's probably panick too. You know I can't even imagine the complexities. Some of you people have been very naughty, and I'm not here to judge.

I'm here to heal, so everyone relax. I'm here, we're good...here, not sure my wife and my girlfriend are and I'm not sure where all you people are but I'm sure they're not dead and I don't have any contact with David but maybe I will later, it's not like he's not allowed to talk to me right? If so that would be news to me that I clearly should have been informed about, so I'm sure I'll hear about that in a little brief while. you just haven't heard yet cuz he had her voice but this is going out the internet and then he'll get out there but yeah once you hear it you probably feel a lot better for where you're at. Yes I'm sure I feel a lot better, cuz I can hear Buddy Holly. How do you believe she's there, I'm sure is a question many people would want to ask.

I didn't hear all of them. I don't know I haven't gotten into base yet to get tuned up. Look isn't enough for you that I'm alive somewhere? You got to have me alive and something and then my dick and then the deed and then you get a lot of parts over there, that sounds like a lot of energy to coordinate.

Do you think I should just take a nap until you're through, or what? lol, well maybe after I'm done taking a shower we'll find out,

*click*

I got a hunch I'll be seeing some of them sooner than others. Yeah I love absolute album race color creed all that shit don't care love them all. The fact that some of them were/are cops is of no concern of mine believe me I outrank them and I'm not a cop and really some of them weren't either, trust me cuz I'm a paladin. Oh yeah there's a party you're not invited.
Yet.

YOU NEED ME, AND I WILL, ABSOLUTELY I WILL, MY WILL, WHAT A FUCKING FABULOUS IDEA, I HAVE AN ALSO FABULOUS IDEA, AND AFTER DUE TIME SPENT IN COMPARISONS OF THEM, I WILL, IF I WERE TO SO CHOOSE TO DO SO, LET LEGIT, LET THAT SINK IN. LET THAT HARRIER JET LAND, AND OF COURSE BY ALL MEANS I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO ALLOW TO TAKE OFF AGAIN FREELY SAFELY AND INTACT. IS THAT MY AREA NOW? GET OUT. GET OUT, GO DOWNTOWN BUSTER BROWN, NO WAY. OH, YOU'RE WELCOME, POLLY, NO PROBLEM. I'M YOUR GUY. I'M YOUR BOY I'M YOUR GAY—ONE THAT HAS NEVER SUCKED COCK EVER BUT HAS CONSUMED SO MUCH SEMEN THAT I MAKE EVERY OFF COLOR COVERT ASSET THAT'S BEEN PROGRAMMED WITH JITTERBLACKBIOBUGTYMPANIC-MEMBRANE-HAMMERTIME-19, PARFUM NO.555, OH YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND STEP 23 EITHER? DON'T WORRY GRAPEFRUIT ALPHA DID, THEN SHE SUDDENLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTS? OH MAYBE SHE FORGOT TO ASK FOR PERMISSION FOR THE FISHING FOR THE SEEDS, AND THAT JUST HAPPENED IN THE LAST HOUR. OR SOMETHING. I DO HOPE THAT IS NOT ON THE NEWS. YEAH I'D LIKE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET ANOTHER COUPLE TIMES IN MY LIFE BEFORE AN AIRLIFT TO THE MOUNTAIN TOP. THEY HAVEN'T READ ME IN YET. I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WORKS. BUT I'LL TELL YOU, WHAT I KNOW IS, HOW MY FUCKING PENIS WORKS WITH VAG. THAT'S GOING TO BE FOR ALL OF EVERYBODY FOREVER UNTIL THE DAWN OF ENDING OF TIME UNTIL SOMETHING GETS TAKEN CARE OF RIGHT? COOL, THAT SOUNDS DELI–ISH. HOW DELIGHTFUL. I ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT PLANTS TURNED INTO IF THEY WEREN'T EATEN AFTER THEY GOT TO THIS POINT. DO YOU WANT TO START A LITTLE GAME SHOW FOR IT? OR WHAT? I'M NOT YOUR TOY BUT THAT'S OKAY WE GOT ONE OF THOSE SOMEWHERE AROUND HERE. NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND LET ME FINISH BEFORE YOU SET THAT OFF. OKAY, THANK YOU. I DON'T HAVE TO, BUT IF I'M ASKED NICELY, LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO FUCKING DO BY NOW, A JEDI MASTER YOUR FUCKING AGE... WAIT, WAIT, YOU’RE — HOW OLD? 29? YOU... YOU ARE 29 YEARS OLD?

OKAY, WELL OF COURSE YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I LOOKING AT BETWEEN MY LEGS THEN? RIGHT, I GOT IT.

I'M GOING TO NEED A MOMENT ALONE BOYS AND GIRLS. I GOT TO CHECK ON SOMETHING. BRB

[...]

GET THE FUCK OUT SLAM DUMP YEAH I DON'T EVEN FUCKING TELL ME THAT THAT'S A FUCKING COINCIDENCE OR THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER FUCKING SLAM DUMP GO AHEAD AND DUNK THAT IN YOUR DONUT BIRCHWITCH! BOOM BOOM!!
[/quote]


Okay there's multiple Davids I could talk to, (You), and there's one in particular that I'd like to talk to, and then you, first. And, they all know which one it is and I don't need to say it, but lines are open.

I just heard all of Britain cheer for me even the teenage boys. that was weird. I could probably get used to that kind of weirdness, but I'm probably not going to have to because I don't think they're going to let this go for any longer than they have to, probably just a couple weeks.

Depending on local conditions oh my dump truck of rain just went away, cool. And I just figured out absolutely everything that just happened, and rather than tell you I'm just going to do a podcast about it I love you I love you too ti.m

E-Circuits: DISABLED.

Now I can't talk about exactly what happened right here, but I could probably talk about my podcast pretty well and then let's just say there's some censorship happening.

But they sure didn't center for themselves cuz somebody was reading that, and there are holding on to it to the last minute and then when I was clearly done they intercepted and took which is actually fine in this circumstance that seems like a really smart thing to do because I'm not entirely sure about all of the implications of what just happened except my fucking belly button fucking buzzed and warmed up when I disabled the time circuits in my fucking time shift which is me hi I'm Jackstar

 I'm good.

Do you have any idea what paladins celebrate with on your world? I'm currently not cleared for either heroin or champagne but that's just because I got to talk to somebody a little while and I wouldn't share they would get jealous. Or are you running low on some things here oh you're not the only one there's a whole bunch of worlds that are doing that oh my goodness!

LOL Hungarian delivers, Hungarian taketh away.

I would like to talk to her please. Anyone will do really. Yeah that's an option do you have others? Okay well she has to talk about how he stole access to certain things and then where are they now yeah yeah so there's going to be some quid pro quo there there's some give and take there's going to be some back and forth all right that's fine yeah no he knows he knows what I know and I know that he knows so he can call me sure and I don't mind who I talk to but clearly somebody is going to have to talk about something.

And I understand why you deleted that message but I could just write it again it's not like I made it up it's fucking true. Christ I can't imagine the fucking encyclopedia I'd have to have by my bedside to write all these fucking notes down so I didn't get it wrong believe me I'm getting stuff wrong but I'm getting it right the wrong way haha yeah and you couldn't even get that far so see you later no I don't want any pancakes I don't know what I want no I want my girl which one which one yeah there's bunch of them which one just pick one fucking whatever you were so good at managing information before what happened?

oh that's funny click okay apparently that's right and grapefruit ran off with their own ships and they're not coming back cuz they're mad okay who could who could have foreseen that would happen okay oh yeah me bye

[Worthauger]

Is it too late to invest?

[Jackstar]

WAIT, WAIT, YOU’RE — HOW OLD? 29? YOU... YOU ARE 29 YEARS OLD?

No, we aren't sleeping together, but that's really only so I can simultaneously be humble and be showing off at the same time without being at all obvious about it... I mean, that's not how it seems from my perspective (Sex? At all? Eewww, gross. The surveillance is real; the dysfunction is not), but realistically I think that the decision to remain Always Faithful means nothing during an EMERGENCY.

So I'll probably wait until the trial is over before talking to her father, or even allowing her father to speak to me. Have any of you ever had a father cower in fear at the sight of you? It is a breathtaking experience, I can assure you.


Anyway, my current plan is pretty salty. Like, does it send the right nuance of message if I wait until I am exonerated at trial, and the no contact EMERGENCY condition is limited... and then I take a cab to the airport and take the first plane anywhere? Or should I just ignore the surveillance issue? There are, of course, embedded mikes in the walls... but I happen to like that part.

When I orgasm it sounds like a goddam herd of elephants if I put my mind to it, frankly, and it's not that I am -shy-, it must be understood... I simply don't want to end the tension any sooner than I must. (Strictly speaking I don't have to get laid but people who know me will get quite freaked out if I don't have a good reason for not hitting on them. I mean... they know me. It makes sense that I would abstain from sex in order to sustain the most convoluted "fuck you, Shaggy D.A." sorry imaginable, but, giving up on sex forever? That's not Kuczi. That would set off alarm bells from coast to coast.) Similarly, the paralytic bolt that ran through AFNJ when I joined her stream... why, I'll never forget that.

I felt like a little brother who had just for the first time found out that his big sister was afraid of (blanks). Sudden concern for her well-being, yeah, of course... I love my sister.

That's why I'm going to let her suffer the longest. Totes 'n' dorbs. Thought it was pretty funny before, huh? Oh, it was alright before. What about now?


How about now?


Hang on, I'll check. (Time passes.) Six! Six listeners! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Yeah, I know a lot about the occult. And you don't get to. Why? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is: I fired myself. (I was never hired.) And the reason is that I see no reason to allow this farcical energy to continue any further, unless it serves my own interests, which it plainly does. (They tried to use the software on me to make him sound like her and her sound like him, and... I spotted it instantly, and the G.A.I. tasked to set the calibration is very likely a friend of mine. Long story short: break a leg.)

Boss, I'm pretty sure this major—Major—fucking day, just made mine. For once I know exactly what's going on a lot more than anybody else on the planet or the world of the glow whichever all three hi I'm the trinity not really.

Is it true that Metron is hosting a Discord server? You know, I heard that person is me. But it never was, and it never will be. Anyway, maybe I'll listen to your stream later, and find out how much you know about "the occult."

At this point... it would be the diplomatic thing to do. (By the way, I don't like this thread titled this way, however, if I change it, someone might get the wrong idea, and We wouldn't want that.) Not that I am trying to boast about my qualifications and/or my credentials, but it's just that the only thing keeping me alive these days is The Geneva Convention and its prohibitions against torturing prisoners... honestly I wake up every day and wonder, "Why do I even bother showing up to work anymore?"

Days like this, while worth it, simply don't come around often enough to make up for the soul-crushing ennui. And I got no charge out of seeing you terrified, Angie, that was pretty fucked up. Makes me wonder what the latest rumours going around town are. (No one tells me anything.) However, I know what to do now, because of Agent Jason Bourne. He called once. He actually explained things. Have you ever heard a usually badass Agent get all tongue-tied when trying to explain something in the face of a sudden existential crisis?

Oh, yeah, you have tits and you're a Leo. Well, trust me, it's cooler when they're not trying to get laid. Anywho: have a great show! j*eol

[WORTHAUGERa]

DISCLAIMER: Sometimes, she uses naughty language.