Author Topic: Fortune Cookies and their contents  (Read 4755 times)

Fortune Cookies and their contents
« on: May 10, 2021, 05:50:46 PM »
Or as Cam would title it "Fortune Cookies I have disemboweled then eaten."

Yesterday I visited my go-to "gook food" shop;  a Hawaiian/Chinese joint that specializes in the Island twist on Chinese.  Aloha Chopsticks:  solid, cheap and somewhat questionable according to a few folks in the neighborhood.  In short the perfect take-out restaurant.

Pu-pu Platter, Sweet and Sour Pork and Chicken Lo Mein.  Plus three fortune cookies, two of which I ate last night:


"Luck is on your side today" & "The night life is for you."  I note that, technically, I ate both of those after midnight so they count for today.

Nautical Shore what they have to do with the dream I had last night that involved a short red-head/strawberry blonde Security Guard at what I took to be the New Orleans International Airport (I don't think such an airport exists) and her "unofficial" detainment of myself.  She was cute, sassy and mildly suspicious of me in a personal not professional manner.  I have said too much, I digress...

The third Fortune Cookie I just ate so I could have chunks of Fortune Cookie in that picture, the fortune for that one says "Appearance can be deceiving.  Remember endurance makes gold."



ediot: Lucky numbers "24, 29, 16, 11, 33, 23", "15, 3, 42, 22,14, 25" & "35, 24, 21, 36, 56, 22"
(someday I hope to see "19.5" as a lucky number, but not today.  Alas)

Re: Fortune Cookies and their contents
« Reply #1 on: May 10, 2021, 06:04:55 PM »

"Luck is on your side today" & "The night life is for you."

HIGHLY PROPITIOUS I would say; get 'em tiger!  Sir, I mean.

Re: Fortune Cookies and their contents
« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2021, 01:49:02 AM »
HIGHLY PROPITIOUS I would say; get 'em tiger!  Sir, I mean.

As a Proud Missourian and hereditary Louisianan I doubly identify as a Tiger.




Re: Fortune Cookies and their contents
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2021, 06:13:05 AM »
I picked some up for mothers day (what can I say. I didn't cook. Maybe I'm a bad son.) I remember it was inspiring. "Keep track of your emotions."


Re: Fortune Cookies and their contents
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2021, 05:31:16 PM »



Re: Fortune Cookies and their contents
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2021, 06:37:38 AM »
https://youtu.be/xTq20prt0K8

I neither confirm nor deny that tonight's repast resulted in the following three fortunes:

Quote from: Fortune Cookies

Do not mistake temptation for opportunity Lucky Numbers 18, 23, 32, 34, 39, 41
{obverse}:  Plenty  #(chōng)#(zú)

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it Lucky Numbers 2, 3, 7, 20, 25, 31
{obverse}:  May #(wǔ)#(yuè)

Be on the alert for new opportunity  Lucky Numbers 2, 15, 19, 22, 33, 44
{obverse}:  March #(sān)#(yuè)

I can confirm that the above order is chronological.  The associated dishes were Pu-Pu Platter, General Tso's and Beef Lo Mein.  All of which I personally consumed in their entirety.  I was worried about the Lo Mein, the noodle consistency had me wondering if a different sort of "Pu-Pu Platter" might result, but as of this moment there are no alarming gastro-intestinal symptoms.

I like to get my Fortunes in Threes:  it is sort of a modified & abbreviated "I Ching" I have developed over the years.  This one might be inscrutable to most, but I suspect that JaxTarr might be able to make some sort of hay out of it.

Nautical Shore.

Of particular interest to me are the Lucky Numbers and the current Powerball Jackpot, which I understand to be not insignificant.

Mally Chlistmas!


Re: Fortune Cookies and their contents
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2023, 04:45:37 PM »
Today, I finally got A Round Tuit on eating the two fortune cookies that came with a Chinese Take-out dinner I had a few weeks ago (Pu-Pu Platter & General Tsao's Chicken).  They had somehow ended up in the kitchen above-counter cabinets where I keep plates, bowls, & coffee mugs, I have been eyeballing the little plastic packages and telling myself:  "Self, you need to eat those and make an AssGrab post one of the days.  Get A Round Tuit!"

The first Fortune:

Quote from: Fortune#1
You will be spending time on the water soon.
ovbverse: 4 16 24 40 41 45

Since I am not MethStar, the "...on the water..." thing is not drug related.  It is supposed to rain some the next few days, hopefully this is not an indication that there will be Biblical Levels of Flooding...  I imagine that is a safe bet, as promises were made regarding that particular type of Incident ever Happening again.

The second Fortune:

Quote from: Fortune#2
You could prosper in the field of education.
ovbverse: 17 23 31 32 36 37

I only imagine the possibilities, hear?  If taken with the first fortune, it may mean that my nebulous plan to attend University of Hawaii for the Botany thing is inevitable.  The word "field" and its relation to education might also mean that the 200-level "Field Biology/Ecology" class I want to take might actually be offered at the local college I am attending.

Nautical Shore?

https://youtu.be/v4azbl96BJY


Re: Fortune Cookies and their contents
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2023, 07:15:49 PM »
MethStar

I now present you with two options. Either your childish, jingoistic antagonism towards me ends completely, now, and I mean utterly, or I lawyer up and end your entire existence by replacing it with the types of mindless legalese and torturous Kafkaesque bullshit that would drive a person to suicide, with or with out an ally;

and then I actually have you killed. Pick whatever you want. You have explored your last petty jab with me, Sirrah. What are you whining about, do you think this is your plunder that I took from you? Listen up, thuggydouche: this is my house, and I made this house into bait by design. Give up. Repress your hatred. Rub her feet. Whatever you like. But keep up the stalking and I will get State troopers from Mississippi to tool up your ass. Don't think I couldn't do it... but, is it worth it?

There is nothing stopping me from going accidental-on-purpose "Oops, Con Air" on you other than a lack of a physical address and I am lazy. A lawyer will end your life just as well. Means the same to me.

You have no power over me and your constant refrain of attack against me is wildly actionable. If you thought you were going to get a rise out of me, you haven't. I am merely tired of seeing your antics.

Stop acting like a child-predating sleaze or, literally, we'll have you fucking killed. In either case you are blocked I will miss nothing and if you think I am exaggerating, you are right.

The truth is you are already dead to me and you are already being tracked. Try growing up now. Why not? You gonna get too tall to rub noses? You are a twerp.



You had your chance to be civil and accept peaceful co-existence with me. Go lick you wounds and stop repeating the unlawful activity, i.e., STALKING.

(I can speak control codes to her and she'll murder you in your sleep, you know. Why do you think a grown-ass woman (well, kinda) is afraid of A PHONE? Well, the technology is quite potent, and, well, so am I. Have you heard enough? I doubt it.

You had years to introduce me to what you think is "meth" and you have been a standoffish self-absorbed, narcissistic prick the entire time. Your behavior makes others feel unsafe. That I have to tell you this... dude. I can't believe no one else has told you.

You look like a monkey... and you smell like one too. And I hope (PROT) enjoys her time with you.


She deserves a g8y like you--who manufactures drugs for her. That's it. That's all. That's what you are, and that's why you obsess. Remedy the situation or I will--and, I just have. Because her self-punishment *this is all I deserve!* is getting in the way of my growth *wow, I could use a maid to sweep up all these needles* and a psychic lobotomy is a lot like a death, you know?)

Also: witness intimidation charges. Calling attorney now. Will anything happen? azhaha, no. Besides, you are a scrub. Who cares?

Well, think of the children. Also, you're diluting my brand. But mostly... it's just that you are imagining yourself needing to be a man of action. You perhaps were, for a moment.

I have permissions to bless and sanctify the compound. I can pray, just to make it today. You cannot. And because you are a dipshit... you have lost what access you could have had. Pack your shit. Get out. Have someone talk to me about who is more suitable than you are for Our collective purposes.

I'll take Stephen Biscuits over you, dumbass. That's how far past too past you just went. Do you think I am fucking with you? I am not.

I WILL ACTUALLY KILL YOU. To say this is perfectly legal, as you have ooooooobviously been threatening me, publically, for years. And you are, of course, VERY WELCOME TO FILE A POLICE REPORT, YOU MAGGOT JUNKY MEATHHEAD SEX ADDICT PUNKY FUCK.




(You aren't even going to end up with a notice in the newspaper, Scrub. Seek help. Turn your life around. And stop defiling the lives of my friends that I care about, because you can have your soul moved to another plane of reality just as easily as I had it restored to here.

Go wash your face, beta blanco boy. You're crying and you don't even know it, and do you know why I let you go on as long as you have?

I wanted her to have every possible chance to grow up on her own too. I guess you ain't got a lot of growth hormone to spread. Vile, pathetic, and an absolutely boor. I would sooner suck Andy Dick than you, and I bet if I removed even half the bags of trash on this porch... your whole goddam family would show up in the Outback and ask to squat under my eaves.

My house is bad. You are worse. Consider yourself educated, and if I ever get to snap to arms length of your center of gravity it is probably not going to be intentional. You don't even belong here... you didn't protect, you didn't serve, and you are a goddam totes embarrassment.

No wonder you can't get meth anymore, lol. Loser. You know why you get cut? Because you treat people like shit and if you I am getting anything for anyone... you are wrong. Not for anyone. I don't need or want it... and the reason I have been so flagrantly irresponsible and wasteful is just to make you jelly.

Period. Just that. Yeah, you jelly. Feel my contempt, for it is my high on you. Also I never reported your deliberate attack on the football, so, as you can see, i have been saving up ammunition for a special purpose.

I have brought about your end. Respect or die. Take her with you, for all I know, you trauma-bonded pairs are pretty psycho.


GET HELP
SOME WHERE ELSE

You are the canary in the coal mine that fuels the beast about to blow, and do you know how long people have wanted to see me respond to you?

Since before I got here, you corrupt hosemonger. As a Paladin... IT IS MY JOB TO JUDGE YOU. Go report in.


And my final advice would be... just don't even go to Owl's home, just bail. There are other worlds than this and at least three of us can arrange to have you sold for organ meat.  (People do have accidents.) I will -never- supply you.


EVER. And the specialized knowledge you possess... uh, yeah, right on dude. Try Rome, Lothario. Ugh. Just ugh. (Sad, so sad, that she deserved this. -ed. GO)

Re: Fortune Cookies and their contents
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2023, 07:28:29 PM »
I now present you with two options. Either your childish, jingoistic antagonism towards me ends completely, now, and I mean utterly, or I lawyer up and end your entire existence by replacing it with the types of mindless legalese and torturous Kafkaesque bullshit that would drive a person to suicide, with or with out an ally;

and then I actually have you killed. Pick whatever you want. You have explored your last petty jab with me, Sirrah. What are you whining about, do you think this is your plunder that I took from you? Listen up, thuggydouche: this is my house, and I made this house into bait by design. Give up. Repress your hatred. Rub her feet. Whatever you like. But keep up the stalking and I will get State troopers from Mississippi to tool up your ass. Don't think I couldn't do it... but, is it worth it?

There is nothing stopping me from going accidental-on-purpose "Oops, Con Air" on you other than a lack of a physical address and I am lazy. A lawyer will end your life just as well. Means the same to me.

You have no power over me and your constant refrain of attack against me is wildly actionable. If you thought you were going to get a rise out of me, you haven't. I am merely tired of seeing your antics.

Stop acting like a child-predating sleaze or, literally, we'll have you fucking killed. In either case you are blocked I will miss nothing and if you think I am exaggerating, you are right.

The truth is you are already dead to me and you are already being tracked. Try growing up now. Why not? You gonna get too tall to rub noses? You are a twerp.



You had your chance to be civil and accept peaceful co-existence with me. Go lick you wounds and stop repeating the unlawful activity, i.e., STALKING.

(I can speak control codes to her and she'll murder you in your sleep, you know. Why do you think a grown-ass woman (well, kinda) is afraid of A PHONE? Well, the technology is quite potent, and, well, so am I. Have you heard enough? I doubt it.

You had years to introduce me to what you think is "meth" and you have been a standoffish self-absorbed, narcissistic prick the entire time. Your behavior makes others feel unsafe. That I have to tell you this... dude. I can't believe no one else has told you.

You look like a monkey... and you smell like one too. And I hope (PROT) enjoys her time with you.


She deserves a g8y like you--who manufactures drugs for her. That's it. That's all. That's what you are, and that's why you obsess. Remedy the situation or I will--and, I just have. Because her self-punishment *this is all I deserve!* is getting in the way of my growth *wow, I could use a maid to sweep up all these needles* and a psychic lobotomy is a lot like a death, you know?)

Also: witness intimidation charges. Calling attorney now. Will anything happen? azhaha, no. Besides, you are a scrub. Who cares?

Well, think of the children. Also, you're diluting my brand. But mostly... it's just that you are imagining yourself needing to be a man of action. You perhaps were, for a moment.

I have permissions to bless and sanctify the compound. I can pray, just to make it today. You cannot. And because you are a dipshit... you have lost what access you could have had. Pack your shit. Get out. Have someone talk to me about who is more suitable than you are for Our collective purposes.

I'll take Stephen Biscuits over you, dumbass. That's how far past too past you just went. Do you think I am fucking with you? I am not.

I WILL ACTUALLY KILL YOU. To say this is perfectly legal, as you have ooooooobviously been threatening me, publically, for years. And you are, of course, VERY WELCOME TO FILE A POLICE REPORT, YOU MAGGOT JUNKY MEATHHEAD SEX ADDICT PUNKY FUCK.




(You aren't even going to end up with a notice in the newspaper, Scrub. Seek help. Turn your life around. And stop defiling the lives of my friends that I care about, because you can have your soul moved to another plane of reality just as easily as I had it restored to here.

Go wash your face, beta blanco boy. You're crying and you don't even know it, and do you know why I let you go on as long as you have?

I wanted her to have every possible chance to grow up on her own too. I guess you ain't got a lot of growth hormone to spread. Vile, pathetic, and an absolutely boor. I would sooner suck Andy Dick than you, and I bet if I removed even half the bags of trash on this porch... your whole goddam family would show up in the Outback and ask to squat under my eaves.

My house is bad. You are worse. Consider yourself educated, and if I ever get to snap to arms length of your center of gravity it is probably not going to be intentional. You don't even belong here... you didn't protect, you didn't serve, and you are a goddam totes embarrassment.

No wonder you can't get meth anymore, lol. Loser. You know why you get cut? Because you treat people like shit and if you I am getting anything for anyone... you are wrong. Not for anyone. I don't need or want it... and the reason I have been so flagrantly irresponsible and wasteful is just to make you jelly.

Period. Just that. Yeah, you jelly. Feel my contempt, for it is my high on you. Also I never reported your deliberate attack on the football, so, as you can see, i have been saving up ammunition for a special purpose.

I have brought about your end. Respect or die. Take her with you, for all I know, you trauma-bonded pairs are pretty psycho.


GET HELP
SOME WHERE ELSE

You are the canary in the coal mine that fuels the beast about to blow, and do you know how long people have wanted to see me respond to you?

Since before I got here, you corrupt hosemonger. As a Paladin... IT IS MY JOB TO JUDGE YOU. Go report in.


And my final advice would be... just don't even go to Owl's home, just bail. There are other worlds than this and at least three of us can arrange to have you sold for organ meat.  (People do have accidents.) I will -never- supply you.


EVER. And the specialized knowledge you possess... uh, yeah, right on dude. Try Rome, Lothario. Ugh. Just ugh. (Sad, so sad, that she deserved this. -ed. GO)


Hey, here's an idea, just now hot off the press: take Missy with you. You're both shallow, vapid, inane, insipid, classless and clueless dunderheads and I bet you two could teach each other a thing or two about science... friction. You have my blessing. Fly, and be free.


p.s. Asuka and Jewel will be there in Astral, 9am sharp, and ceaseless, remorseless attacks will continue. It's out of my hands.

p.p.s. your attempts to falsify a corresponding digital trail of evidence are hereby rent asunder. Pretend for a moment that you were of actual genius-level intelligence. Now realize that I don't and never had to pretend.

p.p.p.s.: Superserial thought I liked you or something. (Oh, Virgo.) He's already activated. He's champing at the bit. He's gonna score some points. He's got a new hobby in sight.


EWE. Doesvidanya, Meathead. Your purpose here has reached its final nadir. And if I had known easy this was to do, and how long it would be before anyone else did it, I would have finished that entire Tequila Sunrise you made for me (oh, so generous) and smashed it, worm, glass, horizon line of the setting sun directly into your face, gladly. Whoops, Con Air again. Anyway, I have oxygen now. I never saw the real thing until last year, and of course no one suspected that I was pretending to be desperate for rock-fuel pig slamming, right?

Gullible. Although she is half-right... and you will be far, far away. BANISH. EXILE. DEFEATED. Also I bet they used your address for the changed registration on the truck. Now, how would I know that? Easy:

EVERYONE HATES YOU. They wish I had killed you and then spent the next 20 years kissing her ass. What you avhe done in the last year with the chance you had... it's basically inexcusable, and does not make me look diminished.

It makes us look as to be Giants, and We are.

Re: Nookies and their cunt-flaps
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2023, 07:43:07 PM »