My friend John, a friend for many years moved a few hours from where we lived. He seemed ok, in general he struggled to be happy. All the time I knew him he was a quiet soul. He didn't share that he wasn't well, didn't feel well, whatever happened. He got a gun and went to Golden Gate Park and ended his life. Horrible that he didn't reach out to anyone, horrible for those who had to take care of him after he left. Nothing funny or fun. If Azz did such a thing it would be heartbreaking.
Azzy, glad you are ok.