I woke up and it took me a good forty minutes to remember... “oh, right, supposedly I'm gay.”
Why this is imagined to be a problem for anyone, I don't really know. Surely there are many problems we all have that not all of us share.
I don't have time for this. I haven't got time for the gay. I barely have time to deal with my own penis. I'm just sitting here on the shitter, minding my own business, and it's just dangling there, dribbling a bit.
YOU'RE IN.
Meanwhile, yes I'm still a virgin, no, I'm not interested, yes, I will consume my own essence, no, that doesn't include boogers... wow, you know what? Some of You ask some pretty wild questions. No joke. Nevertheless, I love and adore all of all y’all.
LEAVE THE CHILDREN ALONE WITH GRAPEFRUIT.
I haven't even opened my mail yet today. I've got e-mails, I've got voicemails, I've got letters, I know fuckin’ everything... and the reason I'm not simply just kilt, is because I'm really just that pretty. Just that; no other reason.
RAWR. I KNOW EVERYTHING. STOP.
HAMMERTIME.
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Sent from my iPhone
while shitting
like an El-Be Jay