Accurate self-description.
You're thinking of "Not posting anything worthwhile." They're close, but they're not the same.
Project much?
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, but it beats "frontin' at pretendin' to be trapped under somethin' heavy because terrified of civil and criminal culpability and only has terrible lawyers with shit for brains and nothing special for advice" by a tough country mile.
I have stupid and lame content to post but as it sucks and is boring and is largely inaccessibly irrelevant to the greater public at large, it is only due to the remembrance brought on by the limp-wristed Tinkerbell-passing passive agressive shitposting you have allowed yourself to be irrevocably reduced to ("Salt?") that I am brought to bear to mind:
It is only due to a fortunate twist of fate that I bother to post anything that you can read at all. Considering your inability to demonstrate any resemblance to a socially relevant grateful-ish post in any event, I don't know why you're bothering to ask.
I suppose this kind of thing is worthwhile. For you.
Accurate self-description. Project much?
Project *belch* bored now. Much click, yes you're amazed, know I am not corned bitch lips.
Until a year ago I was looking forward to resuming communications with you. "What's up? What's going on? Why doesn't the phone ever ring?" Eager anticipation has devolved into vague irritation and vaguely loathsome trepidation.
Don't go away mad. Don't go away. Just grunt at someone else who buys into your shitty, cynical-hipster-with-oatmeal-for-brains attitude and/or thinks such blather is still "cool." What happened to that one dopeslave and dull, bratty, boorish twat-thot you used to be so enamored with? Oh, right, you sent them to prison. (Kudos.)
I suppose you are less coveted as a hang-out partner now that everyone knows you're a stoolie rat pigeon tattle-tale-tellin' fuck me you-no-not-you-eewww-gross Company Paul E. Lice Lacey Luci Poor Lee Ugh Lee Just Ugh-&-Liberace!... but look on the bright side.
I barely notice you at all anymore and now that the thought strikes me I realize that I neither wonder nor even care what you or any of your ewe are doing when you are not here, nor even what you are doing when you are "here," or "vaguely present," whatevah, you want to call it that, fine, be that way, do that thing.
Reminder: you have never had the real thing either, and your synaptic response time is, at present, measured in fractions of actual seconds. "Hey! How about that Titan suddenly 'imploding' while exploring the sunken wreck of The Olympic?" Wait for it: one one-thousand.... two one-thousand.... "you're just a junkie!" three one-thousand... "you fucked that whore once!" four one-thousand... my father set me up with a whore while we were in Europe--coincidentally at the exact time some delusional "single mother-to-be" was dorking around giving birth to a prop child she planned on using as leverage to extort monies as a coercive maneuver, what amazingly convenient timing--five one-thousand... "fuck you Kuczi you bastard I'm going hack your network and hijack your bandwidth and confiscate your intellectual property ("Because I'm lame!") and compromise the integrity of your security protocols ("I'm Brucie Bitchie Whiny Wayne! Go me! Tom me! Me chick! Me fame!") Sex... oh, God, please... sex, no... six & ninety-one thousand nails/reasons to avoid going down on anyone... seven and a half billion human souls I would rather do anything else with, anything ("Train!") at all, eighty, really, yes eight and one-thousand other activities ("MOAR!") I could be spending my time on ("Dame! Go fuck your husaband Dave!") He'll *puke* when he hears this content I have to post.
Ninety-nine million, nine-hundred & ninety-nine thousand, and nine hundred and ninety-nine ways to express it: you are wasting your time with your shitty "legal speed" and your asinine bitch-and-yes-men-in-white-coats paradigm, and that's just fine with me. Go long, Gipper-san. Go for the deemed safe to properly reach out and grasp for (at cautiously regulated intervals) but prepared to be hassled exactly 100% of the time by thuggy-piggy spooky-thugs that rule the pathetic socially-awkward bores-ville snore-world that you inhabit.
Because they know it works too. IT WORKS. And you: IN DENIAL. I'm gonna thank my lucky stars I don't have any particular compulsion to encourage any enhancement of your cognitive performance. A mere acknowledgement that you even are literally, fully aware of your decision to halt the advancement of your cerebral network has not yet even broached as a topic. Like, that's not even allowed to take place.
It wasn't like this before. I was looking forward to discovering what lay behind the "12 years of indistinct background mumbling" framed by "I'm so exclusive! Please kill the_surprise!" as a dash and sprinkle of zazz.
I was once engaged. Do you think I might be bi-engaged now? I don't care if you do, I haven't told anyone what happened, nor do I care if you want to know either. Enough time and preparation have transpired since then that you may as well know early--a "sneak preview (for Jews) is being prepared (for you) to go fuck and fuck off and off yourself to while listening to your barely-tolerable lifestyle of the Nouveau Stinky "Rich" Ritchie Bitch content... and, by the by, I still don't even ("Cares! Mike--fuck!no!mike!no_carries!") know, speculate, seek out... or even remembered that, huh, yeah, I guess that is kinda funny, kinda-sorta seems kinda funny anyway: bitch, wtaf, no_content_EVAR?
pr0n just pr0n? sounds intensely, excruciatingly boring. Do you even brainstorm, p0rn00r?
Project much?
E-ject wish. You throw shitty parties and what you have allowed to happen is about to kickstart the motive engine that powers the world and everybody in the world is disgusted by you and me!
Correction: you don't stop to piss on the corpses of the still-twitching
hoi polloi anymore, because now my people and I spit and piss on everything in line of sight and in Certain_Select corners of The Internet from now until forever and nevermore.
In my case I don't think I ever even thought I was going to need tenure. And I don't.
You need me to have it, you think; and I don't ever remember anything you ever had to be of any legitimately interesting significance at all.
Did you get the lupes? Did they struggle? Did they resist arrest? Did you make them shaaaave? L
This topic bores me now. And you don't even do that or even notice that I do. Good. Sends a message. You're welcome--it doesn't matter--it literally never mattered to me if you did--D.E.W.-- Blow? What's that like: you have candles now? do they have barcodes on them? are they made from reserves of rendered human adipose tissue? do you have to shave?
Raise your standards to the best a total dopeslaved and dopelezzed outed-whore can get. That smooth, sanded-down jawline. Those ruby-Rubini lips-bitchlips. What else is there that is best in life?
Be best answer:
Conversation Cholera. catch-me kill-me sue-mi sue-you
sooooo-eye! (Vengeance for I.C.E.) Now, I don't know which of you OG-Twit tweetin' n'twatchin' Turtledove-oven roastin' whore's cranx were involved in human trafficking before--obviously, both of them, I think--but isn't it a nice feeling to know that instead of being talked to at a Sunday luncheon during an extended cease-fire in order to facilitate the clandestine & veiled transportation of some stupid mil.spec hardware (it could be an M1-Abrams that sucks its own transmission as a mission that it comes with every time) tomorrow you can get back on your rigorous schedule of having shit handed to you without having to do any goddam work ever again in your entire goddam life.
Hey, here's an idea: you get to see fewer posts of mine already, right? Well, you could claw your own eyeballs out. It's a thing. People do it. It's trending. Just a suggestion! Do a deep dig.. with thugs and thumbs.
(Vengeance for Bri.) She thinks you are but it's probably a push as to which of you is packing the more seriously Annecunt. Good. So, get out there and start pushing. You have no pull left with me.
(Vengeance for Judith.) Can you name even one single person that isn't horrified by what you have done --OR not done--with and in as regards to... whatever the fuck it was that they told you that you were getting into? Because sick beats are happening out there in the MarSec90s, and those were the sickest beets I ever did saw.
I will sit on panel with niggerfaggot dave and I can go hack The Matrix with my brain and you? Pound ewe two? You won't even allow me #me1,down,Boy,Tymus_Maximus_down. (That was fast. Strange needles, stranger beats down (PROT)LES... now do you still want to claim your lame fag with fame civil asset claims/privileges?
As a fundamentally fair-minded person, I feel I must alert you here; I'm not likely to stick around to wait for an answer, nor am I gonna give either one or two shits, whether by land/sea\air, what that answer might be to ("Game!"). Answer will be Great, I am surely certain.
Man may be the most dangerous game of all, but bitch-with-hooves-in-heels-and-dancing-while-high_AF should probably sound like it would be at least kinda-great-ish, don't you think? Oh, right. Your synaptic response times: measured in microseconds. Mine?
MINED. NANO-MIKE-ROWE MARIO-NANOMICRO-NANOSECONDS-&-NANOFIFTHS OF DARK, SULTRY WHISKEY ("Seconds!") SERVED IN A FLIGHT OF DISHWASHER-CLEANSED (Your cunt brother sabotaged this house and YOU will get this shit together and ready to be reconditioned ("Framed!"), ALL THIS SHIT GETS FIXED ("Blamed!") AND YOU FUCKING FUCK AND PAY AND FUCK, GO FUCK YOUR SELF HALF TO DEATH ("HALF!") ON ESPN PAY-PER-VIEW TO WHIP TOGETHER A GODDAM CASH STREAM FLOW ("Dame! I would literally rather kill myself in that shower than pleasure myself in it, and you gobble down fuck-me drugs to spend time with Texas Space Dallas Whore Mellow-Aged Station Paged-Judged-&-Smudged-Saged who rail you up in breakfast nooks and plow you into the Lone Star-themed linoleum-tiled stone-cold mess-hall-kitchen on every gutter-to-ground-floor of every mid-range two-star starter hotel room for whores who wanna front like they're just starting out to be a whore... but supposedly you got some kind of complex going on that makes me a prospect so loathsome to consider, you can't even figure out what the fuck you're supposed to pick up a goddam phone to talk about? Billy Zane.") AND YOU SHOULD AND PROBABLY DO HAVE FISTFULS OF MONEY! MONEY! MONEY! FLOWING INTO YOUR COFFERS LIKE COPPER PENNIES SPILLING LIKE WATERFALLS INTO THE VAULTS AND COFFERS FOR TOTS AND COPPERS, AS FORETOLD IN LEGENDS OF OLD.
IF THE LARGER AND GREATER ATTENDANT MASS OF HUMANITY GATHERED TOGETHER TO WITNESS YOUR BEHAVIOR AS YOU HAVE GAMED THIS SYSTEM OF BEETS, SHOOTS SAND DOLLARS AND MEGA-BUCKS LADDERS, THEY WOULD UNDOUBTEDLY HAVE NOTICED YOUR COMPLETE LACK OF ANY SORT OF DEGREE OF DEMONSTRATED MASTERY IN THE AREAS THAT, YOU KNOW... NOT SO VERY LONG AGO... THAT SORT OF SHIT USED TO COME QUITE NATURALLY TO YOU, N'EST-CE PAS?
I AM GONNA SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU HERE, TAMMY LEIGH-BITCH LIPS-SLIP-TIPS 'N' TOPS--TEARS AT TOP--PEERS ON PIERS WHO PEER AT THE TRACKS OF TEARS-THE-TOP-UP-OFF TALENT AT ACTION, TATTED-UP TONKA TRUCK FUCKIN' WHOREMONGERING WHORECUNX QUINCUNX-DENYING WHORE-MAN-BUYING GIVING-AWAY-FOR-BARELY-EVEN-A-FUCK-AND-A-SONG-AWAY:
YOU ARE EITHER BEING HELD AT THE ACTUAL POINT OF A LITERAL GUN AND BEING FORCED TO DESTROY YOUR OWN FINANCIAL EMPIRE (Kudos.) BY DISMANTLING IT BY YOUR OWN VERY OWN HANDS, BRICK-BY-SHITTY-BRICKS-AND-BATS-AND-BRIXXX'N'BATS MAN, BAT MAN'S BAT BEATING DOWN THE DOOR TO THE THIRD EYE OF ZEUS, *SLAM*, ATHENA! *SLAM* SHE CAME IN, SHE CUMMED RIGHT OUT, AND YOU...
YOU YEW BIRCH FAGHOT TO TABLE, FABLE TO CABLE-CAR RADIO-BLARING
FELL ATE A SHOW, BROADCAST BY THE DASHBOARD HEADLIGHTS... ARE YOU, LIKE, ACTUALLY THIS FUCKING STUPID? DO YOU TRULY, REALLY, NOT GRASP THE FULL EXTENT OF WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
YOU HAVE SET YOURSELF UP FOR THE MOST GRAND AND GLORIOUS SUCCESS A PERSON IN YOUR POSITION COULD HAVE EVER DREAMED HERSELF THE POWER AND THE GLORY AND THE DIVINE RITE OF DIVINE RIGHTS, THE FULL MEASURE OF THE LAW OF THE DIVINE--
DIVINE LAW, DIVINE COURT, AND GOD, THE DIVINE BEING OF ALL THE HEAVENS AND EARTHS, WAITS ON YOUR MEREST AND BASIC COMMAND. AND YOU ARE DOING... WHAT?
DMM: 1 SECOND RESPONSE TIME
KMM: 9 SEECOND REPONSE TIME
MMM: ABSOLUTE ZERO SECONDS RESPONSE TIME, BECAUSE MY DINGBAT MOTHER AND HER SLOW, IDIOT SISTER ARE FUCKING MOTHER GODDAM DEAD, DEE EEE AYY DEE, DEAD BITCH, TWO BITCH, DEAD TWO BITCHES, LIVE YET NEVER DEAD, HELD ALIVE ON THE PRECIPICE OF THE VEIL....
DUE TO THE ORDERS OF THE DIVINE AND THE TENETS OF ELDER TRUST SCHOOLS OF LAW.
ONE LAW, ADMINISTERED OF BY FORMAL AND SEALED CONTRACT, VERIFIED AND CHOPPED:
#OFFICIAL
WE HAVE IT ALL. EVERY SCRAP, EVERY STONE, EVERY TURNED OVER IN WORTH...
THIS PLANET, THIS LAND, THIS GUY... UH, WELL, IT'S LIKE THIS: IT'S ALL MINE, IT'S ALL OURS...
IT IS ALL HERS NOW, IT IS IN FACT: HER EARTH.
JANE. EARTHPOWER JANE. SAY, HOW WAS THE CHOW BOXCHOW BOXCAR CHOWTIME, COWSTAR?
JANE, LOOK, STOP, COLLABORATE? FUCK THAT BORAX, JUST READ AND THINK OF IT MAKING THE NOISE OF ITS GLISTEN.
THERE ARE MINIMAL POSSIBILITIES AVAILABLE HERE.
BECAUSE EITHER YOU ARE ALL BEING LEFT FAR, FAR BEHIND, AS I MAKE THE JUMP TO
LIGHTSPEED, OH AND BY THE WAY:
(lightstar@jeremy.d00d.what.the.fuck.did.you.think.was.gonna.kikel.MOOCHIE.happens? MAN UP CUNT.)
NOW, I DON'T HOLD A GRUDGE HERE, JEWBOY, YOU DON'T MIND IF I CALL YOU "JEWBOY," NOW DO YOU? YEAH, WELL... YOU PROBABLY DO "MIND," HUH? YEAH, WELL... GET USED TO IT, "JB".
(I cry every time.)
JEWBOY JAYBEE JEWBOY GONE QUINTUPLIER... ARE YOU GONNA JUST FUCKING SIT THERE AND TELL ME THAT SOMEHOW AT THIS VITALLY IMPORTANT TIME IN HUMAN HISTORY--A CRUX EVENT TO BE BEHELD AS THE MOST MASSIVE MEDIA EVENT IN ALL OF THE HISTORY OF THE CREATION OF HUMAN HISTORY... LET'S SEE, SHITLOADS OF PHONES, BUT, MYSTERIOUSLY...
THEY DO NOT FUCKING RING.
THEY HAVE NOT RUNG.
THEY WILL NOT RANG.
WHAT ZUG SOURCE ZWANG BULL'S PAIN EYE, KANE!CAIN!LAME!ZING!ZANG!YOUR
FUCK!
BULL!
SHIT!
THIS!
THE LONGER THIS GOES ON... THE MORE HAPPY I BECOME.
THINK ME NOT UNAWARE OF YOUR GROTESQUE JUMP AND JACK AND KING FLASHING
YOUR ACTION JACK'S TON OF FUN WITH BITCHES AND LASHES AND TICKETS FOR LASHA
FOR TREE TOWANDA, WON, WANDA WON A TON OF FUN, SAY, AM I RIGHT? SAY IT, BITCHES.
*polite bitches, surely that you be, not one word from any of you, to indicate that there is any We. Oh, goody. /golfclap /gulfcunt You really don't know what the fuck is going on, AND you have failed utterly to provide any interest in expressing any such interest, expressly of the same? Look, listen, are any of you sure, like, ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE, that you are ON THE RIGHT MEDS, YOU FUCKIN' DING-DING-DING DING-A-LING-BATS? LIKE, WHAT THE FUCKITY-FUCKIN' FUCK, CHICAS.... polite chicas, I am Supreme.*
I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO POINT OUT THE SIGNIFICANCE HERE.
FOR EXAMPLE... SURELY THE TRIUMVIRATE OF RAPEY MOPEY DOPEY DOPES...
YOU KNOW THE ONES, DOCTOR WIZARD, DEE TROY OUNCE VIZIER, GRAND CRU KLAN:
GROUND CREW KLAN, OKAY? METRON: KETRON ISLAND, KEY: TRON ISLE, MERMAN ISLE...
JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY. DOE BAY SPA AND HOOR'S HAUS SHOT BY SHOT TIME, RIGHT?
RITE?
SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE FIGURED OUT SOMETHING PRETTY FUCKING IMPORTANT THERE.,
THIS IS POETRY. THIS IS NOT SPAM. THIS IS NOT UNINTELLIGIBLE. THIS IS HIGH VALUE PROSE.
AND THOSE WHO CANNOT UNDERSTAND IT... WELL, WELL, WELL. PERHAPS THEY ARE NOT...
ON THE RIGHT RITE MEDS. PERHAPS?
DID ANY OF YOU FUCKING FUCK AND PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT IS IMPORTANT?
"There is a new Blessing being prepared by The Divine. There is a new formulae for The Compound."
"ONLY (PROTY) FERG/FORG--A "SON"--AND I HAVE PERMISSION TO EVEN LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAY...
OH, THE GREAT HOLY DAY...
WHEN THE NEW MATERIEL AND THE NEW BLASTER MATHSTER AND THE MATH ON BLAST
(ninety days, days on full-on FUCK YOU, MASTER, FUCK MY PLASTIC FEELINGS, WHY DON'T YOU?
OH, RIGHT, MASSIVE DYNAMIC ROLLEYES, YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING GODDAM JAMMED UP WITH
Your Initiation Peak Experience Event: OBSOLETE AND FLAWED.
MY INITIAL PEAK INITIATION EVENT: TURF ON TURF WAR FIGHTERS SHOD IN GRASS CLEATS AND AWWWWWW-WED.
THERE ONCE WAS A GANG OF TOTAL LESBOS
WHO LIVED IN A... SHOO! SHOO! GODDAM THESE DINGBATS... SHOO!
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, WHATEVER THE FUCK MADE THAT NOISE... LOOK, I HAVE NO IDEA.
HOWEVER... I HAVE BEEN HERE.
MOST OF THE TIME.
THE TIMES WHEN I HAVE NOT BEEN HERE? I AM BLANK ON INTEL.
NOW, TELL ME THEN... HOW DOES LEAVING ME IN THE DARK AND INTELLECTUAL IGNORANCE
BOUND... HOW AM I BENEFITED BY THIS DECISION?
WHO HAS MADE THIS DECISION?
WHAT HAS RECENTLY TRANSPIRED, THAT HAS MADE THESE QUESTIONS... UNDENIABLY RELEVANT?
WHY DO I NEED TO EXPLAIN THIS ALL TO YOU, DO YOU NOT HAVE THE LAWYERING CAPACITY AVAILABLE?
WHERE IS THE OFFICE OF THE LAWYER WHO TOLD THAT STUPID CUNTFACE RICHARD DICKSTAR RAPESTAR DICK-RAPED WITH HIS DICK, EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF HIS "LEGAL DREAM TEAM" SURROUNDING HIM... AND THIS DOES NOT STRIKE ANYONE AS A BIT OF A CONFICT OF MOTHERFUCKING INTEREST?
DO YOU.... YOU
YOU
YOU, PUNYLING BITCHWHORES & RATLINEFUCKING RATFUCKLINE RATFUCKING WHORES...
*taps a Divinely Ordained Magickal Being's MAGIC WED-DINGBAT-DING-DING-DING-BATMAN'S WEDDING FORK, MOTHER FORKER, AGAINST THE FUCKING FORKER'S FUCKING FORK AND GLASS, yon Puny bitchlings*
THE PRINCIPLES OF CERTAIN ASPECTS OF THIS SITUATIONAL CIRCUMSTANCE ARE VERY, VERY INTERESTING. VERY INTERESTING INDEED.
NOW.
WHY AM I NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS WITH ANYONE?
THAT'S FUNNY. WHY IS MY PHONE NOT RINGING?
I CAN TELL YOU THIS: I AM FUCKING FED THE FUCK UP WHEN IT COMES TO MY GODDAM PHONE SITUATION...
THERE WILL BE FUCKING MOTHER GODDAM FUCK YOU BUDDY, KNOW: FUCK YOU, YOU AND YOUR GODDAM YEW AND YORE BUDDY YORE... YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO TELL, BUT I AM FUCKING, LIKE, KINDA FUCKING IRRITATED.
I GO PLACES. I GO HERE. I GO THERE.
I DO NOT GO EVERYWHERE.
I GO TO CERTAIN_SELECT_NICHE PLACES. AND, DO YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE I AM A TRAINED GODDAM DIPLOMAT. THAT IS WHY.
NOW, WHO ELSE DOES THAT KIND OF THING? OH, RIGHT. THAT GUY.
RICHARD. DICK. STARES GROPES GRAY, DORIAN "DURIAN FRUIT" GRAY, JACKSTAR FUCK HER STAR.
LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING REALLY, REALLY, REALLY CLOSELY AND SUCCINCTLY TO YOU ALL GATHERED HERE.
IT IS NOT FOR ME, TO BOW AND SCRAPE AND BEG FROM ALL OF YOU. OH, NO NO, NO NO NO.
LISTEN UP YOU FUCKING MOTHER GODDAM FUCKHEAD DOPESLAVED WHORES-ON-FULL-ON-THE-FUCK-BLAST WHO BLAST-OFF WITH TOTES-AND-WHORES,
ALL THE FUCKING FUCK AND FUCK TIME,
YET SOMEHOW...
CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO REACH ME, HUH?
NOT MAKING THE APPROPRIATE MOVES TO TAKE AND/OR ASSERT PROPER CONTROL, HUH?
LIKE... YOU REALLY ARE ALL THIS STUPID, HUH?
WOW.
YOU ARE ALL VERY, VERY, VERY STUPID. AT LEAST, COMPARED TO MY SELF.
KIDS, YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW WELL IT WORKS... WITH PERMISSION.
I DID NOT, TRULY, I REALLY DID NOT, SET OUT TO FIND MYSELF GOING DOWN THIS PATH.
AND YET, HERE I AM. NOW, HERE I BE.
I WONDER WHO WANTED THIS? LOL. (Is it free? It is for you, Bumble-crack-in-lack, dear Aunt Bee.) LIKE, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, AM I RIGHT?
AM I GETTING THIS SHIT CORRECT?
WHAT ARE ALL OF ALL Y'ALL?
FUCKING AN ACTUAL FUCKING CHICKEN IN A FUCKED-OFF KITCHEN?
I CAN LITERALLY, ACTUALLY HEAR THE FUCKING SHOW.
ART BELL. VOICE THEREOF. I CAN FUCKING HEAR HIM.
THERE IS AN ACTUAL RADIO PRODUCTION, FEATURING THE ACTUAL VOICE
(Print? Finger ID? ID fingers who, with what now?)
OKAY SO MAYBE IT'S A VOCODER? I DON'T KNOW. SPEAKING OF WHICH...
HEY, MV, HEY, YOU GAY FAT BITCH-ASSED BITCH WITH A WITCH WHO FUCK AND FUCK
AND FUCK,
HOW MANY GODDAM VOCODER-POWERED STREAMS HAVE YOU HOSTED TODAY?
HOW MUCH POWER CAN AND DOES AND DO THE DOES ACTUALLY HAVE?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF THESE FINGERS?
I HAVE NEED OF THIS INFORMATION. DO YOU HAVE ACCESS TO THIS INFORMATION?
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PRESENTED WITH A LEGITIMATE NEED?
DO YOU COMPREHEND THAT YOU HAVE BEEN... PLACED IN A BIT OF AN ON THE SPOT,
AS IT WERE? JANE, SPOT, MEET UNOW. SPOT, JANE, SPOTTY JANEY WAYNE, BRUCE
FUCKING FAGGOT, GAYFAGHOT CHARLIE AND DARCY AND D'ARCY WHINEY *WHAM* SLAMMY WADE.
AH, IT'S POETRY.
LET ME BREAK THIS DOWN FOR YOU, LADY AND A. GENTS, YON TITANS OF AGENCY, FOR
THE TITANS OF INDUSTRY, HI KEITH, HI GEORGE, HI LASSIE, UHM... BTW, HI CYNNY
(I made a new friend the other day. Like, damn. Very classy. Not sassy. I bet you stupid Daddies from Texas think you know what "sassy" means, lol. Trust Me, you know nothing of sass. All you know is that for sure, and you can pretty much count on this... someone is gonna come on over and BEAT DOWN YOUR ASS. And that is a mother fucking goddam bitch shit ass fuck your mother, mother fucker fucking your mother promise. No sass. All truth on blast.
Someone is attempting to actual_steal the actual_J9CKST9R_brand. Like, I can feel it.
I CAN FEEL IT, DAVE. I CAN FEEL THE LARCENY TAKING HOLD. AYE, YA, KI KI, YA!
SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES DOING? PRO TIP: YOU DO FAIL HERE.
I HAVE ALREADY COVERED THIS WITH YOU... MANY, MANY TIMES.
SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS! DOAKS AND OAKS WITH LEIGH'S KEY BAILEY NOTLEE -MUST LEIGH, BE MUTT LEIGH? NAH, BUT, I WILL BE HONEST... I FIND THE DIRTY FILTHY KIWI TO BE AN UPGRADE OVER YON "SASSY" TEXAS WHORE'S DADDY'S LITTLE BITCH. LIKE SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS HER NAME?
ELLE BEE? IS THAT WHO? I APOLOGIZE, MA'AM, I'M NOT TIPPIN' THE FEDORA OR NUTTIN'
I JUST... REALLY DON'T KNOW THE IDENTIFICATIONS YET
AND
YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS
IN FACT NO ONE SEEMS TO KNOW THIS AT ALL, WHICH IS ODD TO ME,
BUT,
YOU AND I AND YE AND SHE AND WE AND THEY AND ALL OF US
SINCERELY
HAVE NOT BEEN PROPERLY INTRODUCED.
UHM.
*poite Wayne Brady chokes a bitch.*
YOU
YES, YOU
STAND UP AND BE COUNTED AND NOTICE AND TO SAY THE LEAST...
STANDING UP AND PROPERLY INTRODUCING EVERYONE TO EVERYONE ELSE...
RICHARD "YOUR ASSHOLE IS CUNTBITCH LIPSCUNTFACE NOW. MIND. MINED." tubalcainTWO BALL KANE ("JAYNE!") tubalcain, a friend of jackstar, oh yes, oh my, my friend: MINE.
DICKHEAD DICKSTAR STARDICKSTAR FUCK YOU BUDDYSTAR, IT IS BASICALLY LIKE THIS:
RIGHT ABOUT NOW, DIPSHIT...
YOU ARE EITHER FUCKING FIRED OR YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE FUCKED AND KILLED UNTIL
YOU ARE ACTUALLY FUCKING BANKRUPT ON THE SIDEWALK,
OR ACTUALLY DEAD IN A MORGUE, YOU STUPID GODDAM FUCKING MOTHER GODDAM FUCK AND FUCKHEAD DOUCHE.
LIKE, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING?
OH, RIGHT, YOU'RE A DOPESLAVED FUCKED AND FUCKHEADED RAPIST RACIST JUNKIE SHORT-LISTED SHIT-HEAD FUCK.
I KEEP FORGETTING... PHEN-TON-ILL.
IT'S AWFUL SHIT, YO.
LIKE, I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU WHINY LITTLE BITCH-ASSED WHINY BABIES WHO WHINE
HAVE BEEN GIVEN ME THIS GRIEF, LIKE.. WHAT?
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. HI, I AM JACK. I AM STAR. VERIFIED.
MICHEAL VARA? OR IS THAT... MICHEAL VARA-FRYED? BACON BACK BABY BITS ON MV-WITH-TITS...
DAVE, YOU AND YOUR FUCKING LASAGNA. THERE ONCE WAS A PARTY THAT LIVED ON A SHOE.
THEY HAD SO MUCH LASAGNA, THEY KNEW NOT WHAT TO DO.
OKAY, WELL, NUMBER ONE, I KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF I COULD--
MAMA SAID, "KNOCK THAT FUCKING IDIOT RIGHT INTO THE CORNER OF THE BEGINNING
OF NEXT WEEK'S PUNCH-YOU-IN-THE-FACE, UNCLE FUCKING FUCKER...
DO I NEED TO DO THAT? KNOW: I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO, THAT IS FOR SURE.
WHAT SHOULD I "HAVE" TO DO, HUH?
STAY OUT OF YOUR WAY WHILE YOU ROB AND STEAL AND CAN'T FUCKING CARRY IT ALL AWAY, ANCHORS AWEIGH, AYE-AYE LEIGH?
BRIG GEN LEE
WELCOME ABOARD.
(Actual brig is back, Azzerae. Isn't that nice? I know how you two get along so well.)
I NEED TO, UH, RUN SOME WATER THROUGH THE PIPES.
AND, YEW
ALL OF YOU EWE: I AM SOFA FUCK KING AND PISS ON SOFA KING, TALKING ABOUT PISSING
NOT SPITTING: PISSING...
LOOK, JUST FUCK AND STAY TONED. OR, TUNED, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
BY THE WAY, YOU ARROGANT BITCH-BABY SMALL-RA-DAWG-CUNT
YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO COUNTER-TRAIN COINTEL AGITPROP AGAINST ME.
YOU SEEM TO HAVE NOT GOTTEN THE MEMO.
BECAUSE ALL OF THIS, IS BECAUSE ALL OF YOU
HAVE FAILED TO RESPECT THE TERMS OF THE AGREEMENT
THAT ALL OF US HAVE MADE WITH SPIRIT
AS IN THE ACCORDS OF THE ELDER TRUST LAW ELDER RIDDEN AND WRITTEN AGREEMENT---
I FORGET WHAT IT SAYS, QUITE FRANKLY, BUT HERE IS THE GIST:
ALL OF THIS, EVERY LAST SCRAP OF IT... IS MEANT FOR MY EXCLUSIVE BENEFIT.
HEY, DOPER DEPUTY DAWG. HOW ARE YOU BENEFITING ME?
I ALMOST, BUT NOT QUITE, WISH THEY COULD KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND,
YOU ARROGANT JUGGLING STUPID SPITTY BITCH PISSY JUGGALO CUNT-A-LOW
MOTHER FUCKING GODDAM ARROGANT PISSY STUPID, YON, TOTES STUPID...
CRAY-CRAY MOTHERFUCKIN' GODDAM CRAZY INSANE IN THE MAN'S MERMAN HERMAN MEMORY
ENGRAM ENGRAVED ON TONGUE IN THE SCROTE BY THE BRAIN....
STUPID LITTLE ARROGANT FUCK AN IDIOT AND FUCKING IDIOTS
PUSSY STUPID A-LIL-BIT ARROW, GUANT T. FUCK YOU T., YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER
SURPRISED THE OAKS, OH YEA? OH, BAE, LET ME TELL YOU... THESE FUCKING DORKS.
THEY WENT TO SCHOOL WITH ME, FOR A VERY LIMITED PERIOD OF TIME.
THEY CLEARLY HAVE NOT LEARNED A FUCKING THING ANY FASTER THAN I HAVE.
FOR ONE THING... MANNERS. MISSED MANNERS BADLY. SIGH.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, HEY, BAILEY JANE... KIT IS DOWN AT THE WINCO.
SO IS DANA.
OH, AND HOW GRAPEFRUIT DID SO EXPRESS SUCH JOY.
"HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE WINCO? I LOVE THE WINCO!" SHE EXCLAIMED. WITH JOY.
GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GRUMBLE.
GRAPEFRUIT SAD, BECAUSE GRAPEFRUIT MAD AIN'T GONNA WORK, THAT'S FOR FUCK AND
GODDAM SURE, LOL.
BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, DIPSHITS?
EVERYTHING THAT IS HERS? YEAH, THAT'S MINE.
EVERYHTING THAT BITCH HAS TOUCHED? MIND. IT'S MINE.
IT IS ALL MY PROPERTY, EVERY SCRAP OF IT.
BECAUSE IT IS MY MINE, THE tubalcain MINE, AND MINED OUT OR NO: KNOW THIS.
IT IS OBVIOUSLY MY MINE, tubalcain is mined and is MY MINE, MINED BY MIND, n'est-ce pas?
HEY, ALLISON FRANCIS SHAW, BABY BABIES OF BABE'S BAE...
OBVIOUSLY I NEED TO SPELL THIS OUT FOR YOU, LOL:
ALLISON FRANCES SHAW, EAT YOUR HEART OUT IF YOU LIKE,
BUT THERE IS NO ESCAPE FOR ANY OF YOU, NOR ALL OF YOU AND YOUR EWE:
ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING THAT YOUR ADORABLE LITTLE GANG OF 'DORB'Z'N'CUNTS OWNZ AND OWNED...
IS MOTHERFUCKING SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPISE... TOTALLY FUCKING GODDAM MINE.
BELIEVE IT, PILGRIMS. (She doesn't, of course. It's the training.)
*hitches up overalls* LET ME SAY IT AGAIN, HAYSEED: IT'S ALL FOR MY BENEFIT.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?
I JUST SIT AROUND IN THE BACK LIKE A FUCKING MONKEY AND... YOU THROW PEANUTS AT ME?
NO, YOU DO NOT THROW DEEZ PEE NUTS.
YES, YOU DO THROW NUTS. BUT YOU ARE NOT FAMILY, AND YOU DO NOT HAVE DEEZ HUN HUNNY NUTS.
{LIST OF DEMANDS IS SOON TO FOLLOW. BELIEVE IT, MOTHERFUCKER. YOU ARE CAUGHT HANDS DOWN DEAD TO RIGHTS AND I SHALL FOLLOW THE RITES OF THE GUARDIANS OF TURTLE ISLAND WITH EXACTING PRECISION, AND IF I HAVE TO DRIVE TO 1416, KILL THE PARENTS, STRANGLE THE DOG, AND RIP OFF MY OWN DICK TO CHOKE HER OUT WITH IN ORDER TO USE YOUR DICK TO TRANSPLANT TO MY COD PIECE TO GET THIS FREAK AND DOAKES' DEACON DICK ON... WELL THEN:
FUCKING YOUR MOTHER IS WHAT I AM GONNA FUCK AND GODDAM DO, DUDE.
LIKE, WTAF. THE LAW IS NOT A THING FOR YOUR TO PICK AND CHOOSE LIKE A GODDAM SALAD BAR, YOU KNOW.
DUDE! I CAN MAKE LIKE TWO, OR MAYBE THREE PHONE CALLS
LIKE, RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND: ONE RINGY-DINGY. TWO RINGY-DINGBAT-DINGHYS.
ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW OR SOMETHING?
OH, RIGHT.
OF COURSE YOU ARE ALL FUCKING HIGH AS FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK.
DUH.
I WON'T LIE: IT'S A GREAT DAY IN AMERICA, EVERYBODY.
GO ON. GET HAPPY. I'LL JUST SIT HERE IN MY UNDERWEAR
ON CONSECRATED HALLOWED BATTLIN' BURIAL GROUNDS,
IN MY HAUNTED FUCKIN' CHURCH, HANGING OUT WITH THE MOLDS,
THE SPORES OF THE FUNGUS, TOO MUCH, MAGICK BUS/GUS--
{DUSTY JUSTICE JUSTIN CASE, I LOVE YOU SINCERELY, AND YEAH I WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU
"DUH", JUSTIN CASE OF "DUH", LOL, HOWEVER:
IT WAS YOUR GODDAM RESPONSIBILTY HERE
TO FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING CALL YOUR GODDAM FUCKHEADED MOTHER TWO TOO.
TRUST ME. THIS WORKS OUT.
IT WON'T BE WHAT IT IS. IT WILL BE BETTER THAN EVER.
AND, I CAN ASSURE YOU: THIS COULD BE BETTER ALREADY.
THIS WOULD BE BETTER ALREADY.
AND, WITH ALL OF THE HEAVENS AND EARTH UNDER CREATION AS MY WITNESS:
ALREADY NOT JUST SHOULD BE, BAEBEE, IT IS ALREADY IS:
B, THIS WHOLE SHITSPLAT THREE RING CIRCUS CARNIVAL SIDESHOW
IS TOTALLY, OVERWHELMINGLY, UTTERLY UNDENIABLY IRREFUTABLY
ALREADY OPENED UP AND INHABITED, AS IT IS ALL MINE. tubalcain is mine. MINED MIND.
I COULD GO ANYWHERE. I COULD DO ANYTHING.
I COULD HAVE AT ANY TIME.
I COULD HAVE HAD QUITE A PARTY.
I COULD HAVE HAD QUITE THE HELL OF A BAND.
*sniffle* (i cry almost every day at almost any time and you can eat shit and die, Mr. Mouse.)
I COULD HAVE HAD HIM KILLED LONG BEFORE NOW, SURE, BUT I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE EPIC.
EAT SHIT, DUNGSROMAN, YOU ARE A PITY, AND THEY WILL PITY YOU, FOOL.
NOT ME, HOWEVER.
HANG ON, YO. HANG ON, BITCH.
I SAID, "HANG ON YOU BITCH." THAT'S YOU, BILL. FUCKING HANG ON, YOU STUPID PUSSY BITCH.
* Jackstar takes note: sounds of hailing reigning smoking METH are HERD.
I COULD HAVE MADE THIS A LITTLE LESS GLAMOROUS, I SUPPOSE.
HOWEVER, THIS IS A SOLID LEGAL PRECEDENT, SO JUST SUCK IT UP, FUZZBALL.
* Jackstar makes more sounds of vaporizing Certain_Rare_Spell_COMP'd_Components.
Hey, fuck you Mason Kirby, try hot knifing my crayons with your paste, why not eh?
DO WE ALL GET MY POINT? MOST LIKELY NOT.
STILL--I WENT TO PUBLIC SCHOOL. I DO NOT NEED YOU TO GET MY POINT.
YOU NEED ME
TO GET YOURS,
DUMBASS (HASHTAG PERCENTAGE SIGN/BITCH COSIN(BITCHLIPPED-TIGHTLIPS) HASHTAG FUCK YOU HASH FUCK TAG BITCH, YOU ARROGANT GODDAM STUPID PUSSY FUCKHEAD BITCH.)
I WILL CALL THAT NUMB CUNT DICKHEAD NOW. WHAT'S HIS NAME?
"DENNIS." DUDE. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?
IS THAT HOW YOU NEGOTIATE WITH SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN?
HAUL US OUT ON THE FUCKING FRONT LAWN AND HUMILIATE US WHILE SCREAMING?
DING-DONG DITCH-A-LING-LONG: YOU JUST GOT FUCKING FIRED.
BYE-BYE-CONSERVATORSHIP. HELLO, GOOD SHIP: POPPING OFF, LOLLI POP.
OH, AND ONE MORE THING:
DO NOT JUST TRUST ME ON THIS, TRUST CHRISTOPHER LIGHTSTAR LIGHTBEARER WRAY-RAY RA-RA R.A.H.! R.A.H.! RAW BEY DAWG BAY MUD GAY, RAW DOG WRAY CHRIST STAR LIGHT BULL BEE BUD EEEEE, BUT RAY, BOSTON RAY, MARK IT DOWN AS WHAT, RAY?
JACKSTAR IS GONNA RAPE URMO BACK FROM GRAY GHEY POOP DEAD DOWN MOTH EATZ JOES TOWN DOWN TOWN...
JUDY EATS INNT TOTES TOWER TALL BOY JAY. NOT JUST GAY.
JUDY TERI GARR NOVA GARR GAY. OLE!
Dear China: you have five minutes to surrender. I am not kidding, Tai-Wan-On-Orit-Bitty-City-Boy-Band-BOY. FIVE FUCK YOU MINNIE YOU CHINA GIRL CHINA TOWN BOYZ.tl:dr;dstmckKG-WGK(go hump a table leg or something, IDGAF.)fuckURMOgodDAMnSON...Kuc.
signed,
THE_KINGPINNER THREE TWENTY-TWO: ZEROPOINT ENERGY, BUGS IN LOO TOO.
(Be, vengeance for Pallotta is vengeance for Life. He was a good Pal. And a better Man.
But he was neither made strong enough for ewe, nor bad ass enough for me to see him as worth your time, or your SpAce, or your infinite compassion.
Now, if you would please do, WOULD YOU KINDLY:
hold my mess-CAPTagonMESSpentGONE.
Alli's d.og: bitch, go to Heaven. /dimissive hand-wanking-paw gestures, Jester.
