5mwJ

[Jackstar]

“This person is very much into their thundercunt energy.” Come on man. None of this has to be this difficult, and so... why is it so unfathombly difficult to make a direct connection over an Internet connection... between two planets that are only connected via the wormhole-fed ansible connection that I ACTUALLY designed (that's why I'm a Sourceror) and built to only work when an Access Service Quality Fee is, in fact, paid for (#TANSTAFFL) and was partially STOLEN AS A PROTOTYPE AND PATENT-INFRINGED FROM ONE (1) Orson Scott Card without any permission at all?

Believe me, when that More⁰ⁿ Mormon FAGGīT>H<∆>K gets to his Joseph “Smith-Smythe”-branded, brand DEA dead, heir dead Faux-Heaven for Company Officers That Don't Offer So Well In Men-On-Knight Butt No ©⭕©K§Ω>K Heaven, and finds out that this salty Magyar bastard stole his superpowered Heaven's Gate-LĪkKÎKE Holographic Communicator, FROM ACTUAL HEAVEN, while I was still alive, like holy fuck, how did I do that? How did I do that without getting a college degree?? How could a needle junkie be doing such things? Aren't I just too fat to be able to think that clearly about classified military technology? Yeah, funny story about that.

Number one: I had some help from at least a couple of your ex-husbands, who truly did love you at one point, utterly loathed me, but eventually came around to see my point of view as being the correct one. Because: YOU ARE MINE.

I don't give a single ripe wet shit how many Romulans it took to screw all your lightbulbs. Somehow you were stolen and taken through a time tunnel; and rather than build one myself, that's bullshit. I made them build another one to bring you right back.

I'm not at all lazy.
KNOW THAT I AM BRUTAL.

It's not about stealing my baby batter. It's about power. And with the power to steal actual babies, but still they can't figure out how to parallel park a flying car? At some point the suspension of disbelief breaking down becomes enough of an Allspark to empower the creation of an entire species of Tesseract Consciousnesses. And even at that point... still, no RoboHoor™ available for me? But even Helen Mirren gets one in her swag sack.

Obvious discrimination against the Magyar became obvious then. Ergo: The Austrian cooked up reality; the only way to win a rigged game is to not play; and the only person who could have arranged all this before knowing how much NoFun this would have been, could have been... Charles (Blank) R¡Lμ.

We are time travelers, Punyling™ scum. We do not arrive “on time.”

.Tī¥īVīE.DOES.NOT.FLY.
.FOR.īT.ARRIVES.
.WÏTī-Î.DUST.μ

[Jackstar]

[...] in the Men's Room of The Space Age Rape Station & QuĪK<Ⓜ️art. I CAN DO THAT FOR, BY, AND WITH GOD.

WITH GOD
ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

I'm going to go outside now and go live on YouTube™ and whatever career you got left motherfucker, you would best better pray to God that you get to keep it for another couple weeks at least

Hang on.

* Jackstar briefly contemplates which intersection in town is best to stand in the middle of, IV CM in, and pirouette like a tubby ballerina while waiting for S.W.A.T. to come in with the Flying Tackle Troopers™.

While we wait for Albino Bob Ross to finish applying the D A.R.Ē.-cur-elle to his G∞²: &AND,‘FRO, should be any minute now, assuming Pleaidian Slime Lordz actually use units of time measurements that are called “minute,” seriously, if you think Texans have a big ego, you wouldn't believe the ego on these bat-shit crazy Timecorps Hoor-Lordz, who orbit the central solar sun of Alcyone while remaining utterly HYP-KNOW-TYZED by the melodic harmonies created by their fleets of Space Dreidels. Because of course caluculating hyperspace jump coordinates with a mere slide-rule wouldn't be J∞-:Ë: enough.

tl;dr: Hang on. IN THREE (3)!

TWO (ĪĪ)!

WON! (Fuck my mother and hand mⓂ️Ê the T.A.R.D.I.S. keys, you fucking ©⭕©kK§Ω>K (cur). One does not race the Sun without a raise for The Son. (Hail Satan.) I can't go on without my buddy SupaDupaFlĪ.


Shout-outs to: American McGee; Sparrowslain; H.S. Thompson; R.A. Heinlein; and Cher. (Turns out, she's really quite the ‽¡†çh.) What? Ewe can't handle that much inside baseball without someone inventing a way to build a better mousetrap w/included gestation crates. Obviously, I could burn the energy to explain -AND- invent that too. You know: in my spare time. Which I fkn have nothing else but, right? Hang on.

* Jackstar gets high from the pre-gasm energy coming from calling that whore that Grapefruit calls a sister now.

Yes, it's quite a rush. The Algonquin People do not surrender well. Looks like we're having subjugation for supper again. (After they made Jean-Luc sing to Law-⭕❌-Anna Troi (3) in that one episode in which The unfathomable gayness of Patrick Stewart became undeniably obvious, I knew I was going to have to come up with a big finish — and sadly, it's not going to occur on the property of The Magic Castle in Las Vegas, Nevada. Awww, shucks.

No mud, no lotus; no free drinks, no crippling unpaid income tax burden. CHECKMATE.) Q? Q who?

The latest stretch goal is I'm gonna make that pussycat beg to assimilate my bulldog. Because, this is what the fans want to see. (They don't get to.) This is where the money will be made. (... and: it's already spent. On Space Shoes, probably.) Hey. Paul-🅰️.

Everyone wins, or no one wins. A rising tide lifts all boats. Note that I am using the word “BOAT” here.


🅱️ BEST. Sayonara, çlīTvvÎ↓ches!!

[Jackstar]

https://www.youtube.com/live/fn9-D4NqoVk?is=UKeng8lamJu_hBS0


⁴4 Dawn.

[Jackstar]

https://voca.ro/11fBd4AFqikx


Ohhh,
tell it to my part
my Umpi-Humpi part
even Steven for an old fart
wouldn't be too-too smart

Shock & Awe. I hear it is quite slimming. C,‘est formidable, c,‘est non??

Cock eye saw. Can there ever be another more effective Shaw? (The answer is classified.) By the way, I'm voting yes on the merger application. GINGERBUTTER BUSKBREAD CUT-KITS. HERE WE GO!


And I don't want to put or too much shine on this apple, because I really don't want anybody to feel threatened, certainly not any Federal agents, but you should know something about how a pacifist Sourcerœr handles violent rape: by the time you notice it's already happened, it's been done with your own dick, and you're about to have it with your corn flakes. Look sharp, Company B0i.

And as a courtesy, you don't need to stand by and prepare to be boarded. You don't need to do anything at all. Nobody's getting boarded.

Worst case scenario: you're going to get made into cheese. (One of them real stanky kinds, too.) That way, if anybody gets polymorphed into a rat, there will also be something in the vicinity for a convenient snack.

Peasants work. A Lord provides. The dissimilarity is unfathombly obvious. This is only the demonstration’s beginning. Feel free to jump in with any conclusive rebuttal. Don't let me stop you. Have at it, Subjugant Peoples.

As God as my witness, this is actual. THOU HAST BEEN SUBJUGATED. As I stated before, I am a kind and compassionate Conquistador. I don't think I even broke a single hymen. Globally, I'm saying. (I *will* be checking later.) I didn't really want to make a big deal out of all this.

However: her name was Jewel. 💪 Hey, here's an idea: have you rubbed one out lately? Self-Pleasure can be quite relaxing, you can trust me on that. Haha, that's actually very funny what I just said haha. I said that you can trust me on that. YOU! TRUST ME! HAHAHAHA HAHA HAHAHAHA.

HA! (Standards.) Also I'm going to breed Maddie via random betting pool. I decided that that was probably be the most likely to be approved method, that wasn't going to be just me. Alternatively, why don't you ask my cousin to decide who gets to put a dick in there? He does seem to have a natural talent for that kind of thing.

Because sometimes that's all diplomacy is: telling women whose dick is going to get put inside their vag. Sometimes, years in advance! Eureka! Now, this is progress.

Because it's not about breeding. IT IS ABOUT POWER. Good talk. Let her know she can get as fat she wants, And that as soon as I can get around to finding out which form to file, I'm going to make metabolic poisons that it can be hidden in gak and make a person uncontrollably gain weight will be legalized for use on that catamite slave that you're calling “a nephew.” (That's actually an embedded Conclave spy from Dalaran. Surprise! Like Undercover Boss, except with an eye of newt.)

Bonus seething: where's my goddamn orb? NGL, at this point, I hope some matronly hottie is using it as a Ben-Wa ball. While using my Xbox X. Which they don't even make them like that anymore. (Like me.) Now send me a pizza. Do something useful with all those pull tab winners. What are you going to do, buy more pull tabs? (You bet your sweet ass you thought you were going to do that WITH MY MONEY, Clan Dough Ken Ni RoJ Grrrrrrs. Don't slice up your credit cards, you're going to need them to finish chopping up what's left of your coca before channel 7 News gets there.

COMP’d!)

With your children. Who were surviving, last I checked. Unless they're planning on dying from embarrassment anytime soon, Mr. Cranky Pants. Is there a tranq gun around there somewhere they can hit you with if you start having a seizure? How many times have you been subjected to subjugation? Do you even know? When did you notice? How do you know you don't like it? What if I weren't talking about my dick at all?

With questions like these, who needs answers? 10/10 220 suck my titties. Çïå∅!