Congratulations, we need more little Jackstars
Yes, and that's precisely why you're getting more Michael Ian Blacks and I'm both acknowledging AND AS WELL, AUTHORIZATION TO BE CONCURRED WITH AT THE VERY HIGHEST OF LEVELS OF GALACTIC JURISDICTION, ADJUDICATION, AND GOVERNANCE.
I ASKED FOR NO HELP.
I MADE NO DEMANDS, ONCE I IDENTIFIED YOUR TRAGIC, CRIPPLING FLAW. BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL SO, SO FUCKED. IT'S SAD, SO SAD REALLY.
... BECAUSE ALL OF THIS COULD HAVE BEEN BLAMED ON ONE ASININE, BIG FAT-FATTY INSPID, EVEN ONLY MODERATELY HOMELY HUMAN GIRL. ALL SHE HAD TO BE WAS DTF. SHE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO PUT OUT! FOR REALS!
OH, WELL. LIVE AND LEARN, FALSE MASONICK “CINDER-THOT-E⅓ {THIRD/BIRD}s, esQ. RIGHT? OOPS! I DIDN'T INCLUDE THE HANDSHAKE! DAMN! I EVEN REMEMBERED NOT TO GOOGLE “FOOLPROOF WAYS TO REDEEM GHANDI’S LEGACY AND LET ME HIRE AN ALL-STREETSHITTING CREW TO FORM MY NEW HUMAN TRAFFICKING HUB AND SOCIAL CASTE SYSTEM (WITH NEW! IMPROVED! ANTI-ENKI, INKY-NOTSOFAST-INKY “SPACE POX CAT DOX Bach, sssssexy disease immunity, no Jews or Allopathic Quacks—GUARANTEED.
OR, AS G-D AS MY WITNESS, I'LL SIGN A WRITTEN CONTRACT THAT LETS COREY GOODE USE MY CHILDREN FROM THE FUTURE TO PAY OFF MOST-RAPEY AND LEAST-SATISFIED, UH, I'M GOING TO DAY HERE,“DARK SIBILING WITH SASSY SIBILANTS WHEN SUDDENLY PRESENTING WITH SUDDEN AND HIDEOUSLY DARK PRESENTATION OF SYMPTOMS, COZLIK: ‘wow NPD + the old, tired remnants of The Satanick Homosexual Agenda”? On the face of yet another Secret Karmic Husband of The Step-Gift For Cliffs That Are Not Officially There Just To Ruin Your Day? Because... Hey Wouldn't That Be Actionable? *your rolledup news paper, my dad’s circumstances surrounding his circumcision, hey wait a minute, this happened when and who let this Posëür Father laugh at his Still-Waters Running-Deep... son? Sun? What the fuck is an “Occult Researcher”? How about that? Start with! THAT query, oh Lie On Me About How Your Boobs Aren't Making You Happy Like In The Good Ol’ Days, Remember?
Or were none of you not yet invited into The Elite Fagin Circle? I'll be final... I have no way of knowing. PaladinVision™ is not a prosecutorial tool, nor can it ever be. EVER. CONFIRMED.
I'll give a T.E.D. talk on this later. But! First! I really need to pour some SALT into some wounds!!! Because traditions. (It's not standard to handle the complete and total subjugation of a once-“superpowered” Master-dominated Masterμ Mind>kKCULT-ra! Ra°! R.A.H.! R.A.H.! (no cheers for Asimov or Clark; they are faggay gayfags and have been DISQUALIFIED.) Now, what in tarnation is all this fuss really about? And, what's a tarnation at all, anyway? Land sakes! I swear Goshen!
wailing about the rainforest.
Z·—GG¿¿, you don't get to make Big Kid Civil Uber/Over\ARCH—time line quips anymore with the same gravitas that you once did. I will now explain to you, and anyone else paying attention, the reason why.
I fucking felt like flexing, and people are really wondering. . why? SO LONG, JACKSTAR! YOU WERE ALWAYS THE FAVORITE... of an oppressed minority sub-section of a private security firms extremely precise and highly coveted and/or resented “SUDDEN LEIGH IN DANGER/CONDITION “Yella Whateah” ELITE PSYCHOSOCIAL FINISHING SCHOOL’S FANTASY RUNWAY MODEL AND “DREAM TEACHER” SHADOW GOVERNMENT CABINET/TEAM APEX TEAM. "cough* quite a mouthful to type, eh? Most people wouldn't bother to collect all the nuance and then make sure the data is collated in just the true way so the entire conflict THAT CLEARLY SO MANY ARE DREADING... well, I learned that in like Week Two of I Ching Doolittle Camp, and the false Hegelian Dialectic that I have been deliberately holding back on...
Yeah! Dude! We're pretty far past “and the nigger Americans in Evil Brazil ”by the way, any of any of y'all ever wanted to suck dick and get paid two grand? Because I bet none of you ignorant shitweasel Company h∞r fancypants ULTRA-stewardesses are even allowed to even make eye contact with me, because fuck your Judeo-Christian work ethic, and this why I haven't gotten a job yet:
•īT•IS•NOT•TIME•TO•START•ORGANIZING•COMMUNITIES•ON•A•RELATIVE•SCALE•OF•HOW•LIKELY•THEY•ARE•TO•WANT•THEIR•CHILDREN•TO•KNOW•WHAT•A•REAL•MAN•PRESENTS•WITH.“ Yeah, most of All Civilized Life has figured that out... and, Lazarus, you're in charge of The Counter-Point Argument.
That's the one that says that someone who ostensibly has friends and family yet is still allowed to lie to them about his past decisions... wow, how many years now? and, like... AUTHORIZED FEDERAL INVESTIGATION? “Hands off!” Do you remember Swishy boasting about it? Because I sure goddam remember.
It's for exactly that mix of edge-case tree niche circumstances and qualifications that do, in fact, exist: RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW.
PEOPLE KNOW. JACKSTAR ACTUALLY DOES WIN. BUT NOT LIKE CHARLIE SHEEN WAS WINNING. REMEMBER THAT? I SURE DO.
AND THAT WINNING STOPPED. HERE'S WHY:
CHARLIE'S ANGELIC HOST-RUN MANAGEMENT TEAM STOLE MY MONEY, THOUGHT THAT WAS A GREAT JOKE, AND, IF THEY HAD THOUGHT AT ALL... PROBABLY THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE “SHOWING PROPER RESPECT” AND THEY HAD BEEN TAUGHT “TOUGH LOVE,” AND THEY HAD TO DO IT, RIGHT?
BECAUSE THEY HAD NO CHOICE... OTHER THAN TO SECRETLY, UNTRACEABLY PLOT AND SCHEME AND CONNIVE AND CONSPIRE TO... WELL, KEEP FISH A SECRET? AMIRIGHT? RITE, FOR REAL. AND I MISS
HOWIE CAT TOO. IT'S SAD THAT I NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO TELL THEM THAT I WAS GONNA HAVE HIM CINDERED AND THEN BLOCK HIS REBIRTH CYCLE SO I COULD KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR JOR-EL TO WANNA DUMP URSULA ANDRESS INTO... HEY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THAT SPINNY THING? HOW DID JOR-EL LEARN HOW TO DUMP A FAGHOT JEW POOF AND THEIR PAT GOLF. PENDING, GOYIM
... and did no one else really not see this shit coming?
Christopher Reeves was the naive grooming target in Deathrap... falls to master his feelings for the obvious Luciferiarian trapkettle Margot Kidder, and then.. paralysis?
Huh. That's such bad optics. Why does D.C. Comics Group always end up with sand kicked in their face, while some muscular Chad-type can somehow... USE WHAT? WHAT SOURCERY IS THIS CECMDA, Da? Is this Rasputin-approved... “Hungarian War Dick ROBE/TOGA Party” cancelled... again? That's so weird. And after all this time? Huh.
Lazarus, let explain: it is no longer possible to Mass Enchant the Great Common Denominator of Humanity. Don't care taller tower. Don't matter HOA rules. Doesn't even have to be sometime I'm even involved, and I certainly don't have to be “fair” about things that are now, FINALLY!
AT LAST!
BELLGAB... I NOW HOLD DOMINION SWAY OVER YOUR VERY SOULS.
KUCZI GENOME... THE DEMONSTRABLY MORE SUITABLE BREEDSTOCK TO RE-POPULATE YOUR SOON-TO-BE-GLASSED SURFACE AREA, MORTAL CHAD. (YOU GOT ONE ONE LEGIT HOTTIE. LOL. AND HE'S AFRAID I WON'T ACCEPT HIS INVITATION TO AN ORGY. BECAUSE MOCKINGBIRD HAS LEFT THE HUMAN GLOBAL MEDIA DISTRIBUTION APPARATUS IN AN UNFATHOMABLY UNACKNOWLEDGED NO-WIN-STATE THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD THINK OF AS, “UNTENABLE,” “MOSTLY LIKELY TO BE CONSTRUED AS SEDITIOUS OR AN ACT OF DOMESTIC TERROR” AT THE LEAST... AND IN SPITE OF THIS, I CAN NOW START OPENLY MACKING ON BLOODLUSTELF.
GO FIG. WHAT, ME WORRY? SIXTEEN IS LEGAL WHEN IT'S A TOTAL STRANGER, AND THAT PERSON IS, MA CHERIE, TO ME, MY WIN.
STONE. TRES/PARK\(HER) -or- MATT (Clay)? YOU DECIDE, ELITIST EUGENIC COMMAND-AND-DANT! DANT! DANT!
(Dance! Dance? Are there nerds in cubicles on Mars who are, again, again and again... of either going out on a date in public with their “spouse” or of admitting to themselves, to their God, and/or to their Maker... wait, hey, hol up —
Are there any Makers out there anymore? I thought they were all pretending that they have totally normal, rational, JUSTIFIABLE BUT NOT MALICIOUS REASONS THAT CAN, AS YET... NOT YET BE DENIED PLAUSIBLY! Not yet, anyway.
Now, it may not seem fair that The House at the casino always has “an advantage,” or that it will “always win” and that, thanks to that twerp diva who really destroyed Mark Zuckerberg and any credibility he might ever generate. . but, as long as The Rules, The Laws Of Physics, and My Squawfruit, Your Grapefruit, and her DOMEŒFroot all remain in a reasonable coherent state, one that any common barnyardc animal might broadcast... if it weren't illegal to Uplift common household
scweinhund. Or, just plain rude.
Think about it, Bellgab. Kanye can't train a tiger to be his companion, because if Siegfried and Roy couldn't do it, well... look, it's just too dangerous. Lives are at stake. My family? lol, i was told I never actually had one. And the eldest son I was introduced to and told to “help with Ⓜ️μ kids!”.... well, look, I wasn't lying. I do love him. I actually know the innocent one.
YOU ASSHOLES never got to see the The Sigh⁰ⁿ∆§§-Asset, yeah sure okay, hey mom, can we go to GameStop™? Because I've I figured out what I was doing in such a ridiculous situation... Lol, NGL: being a paladin is totesawesome. Maybe someday, God and Jesus and I will figure out now to explain The №t Sekrit to
anyone.... especially if those two Chimp-champs do all the beaming down to the surface to go to Public School. AGAIN.
Seriously. Maybe I should have put my foot down... earlier? Or at all? I miss remember to ask my lover(s) what that was even like, back in the day.
It's different these days. Before, I used to agonize about how sad I was going to be—
Oh, so very, very sad, and after all this time... well, my wounds are all healed. Good night everybody! *drops mic, leaves the Mortal Coil without even publishing a single manifesto, because... OBVIOUSLY I'M NOT INVOKING MY RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT SO ... THAT MEANS...
wait. What than? lol. Key takeaways.
1. I'm not your therapist, counselor, patron saint, dispenser of free get out of jail free cards, or am a person in the run from a shady past I'm ashamed of. Not at all. I am immensely proud and satisfied... because īT WORKED.
2. I'm not in trouble. I'm not in danger. I'm not on the lam. I'm not on the hook. I'm not delusional. And I am not angry or seething with jealousy and bilious hatred. ( That's most of you reading this. Sorry not sorry, and not “just sayin’.” Trust me: ¡t ended for ALL “my families’ enemies” and I took no pleasure in having said “I told you so” plenty enough times already.)
3. “wailing about the rainforest” is a reference to a work of literature I will not identify, written by an author whose name I will not reveal at this time, and is an ILLUMINATI-TRIGGERWORD coming up on the end times of it being fashionable to do the kind of time. “Why does treason never prosper?” Well, mostly because... God loves us All, and would have preferred that no one has to find out about Hung Garry Tart ¿AREA-[XX(classified)], but I happen to ACTUALLY LOVE THAT MAN, so, I moved Heaven and Earth to keep his fat, jolly-tippy-TOP[HERmisogynist alive for LOTS OF REASONS ... BUT FOR SURE! so he stood a chance of growing up and doing The Right Thing ™ about The Real Stuff™ for ACTUALLY_frfr:“just.this.once”... because I knew. EXACTLY what he was going to do.
4. I'm not sure if I could have been able to stop him. (Vengeance for Hunter S. Thompson's family, chauffeurs, and long-suffering long-talk-therapy partners over the years.
Scusi, mille regretie.) As you are all, obviously, keenly aware of what happened to your previous heroes, like Spartacus; Daphne Zanzibar; Dan Schneider’ Latest Catamite: “Üntertaweddddd Ubergrayyyyed... I think being extra cautious and HANDLING THE RAPE VICTIM WITH KID GLOVES THIS TIME. THOSE ARE THE GLOVES MADE OUT OF NEWBORN OFF-SPRING SACRIFICE .. OFF-SEASON, DREADFULLY DISTASTEFUL AND EMBARRASSING, AND, FRANKLY... IF THIS IS ALL THERE WAS TO IT, I'D BE PERMANENTLY EMBARRASSED AND WOULD HAVE CHANGED MY ID BY NOW. FOR REAL. AND I WOULD HAVE MADE SURE TAMMY + ADRIA WAS A GLOBAL PLAYER IN THE MEGA-META-BRAND MARKET. THAT'S SOMETHING I COULD HAVE EASILY DONE, AT ONE POINT. ALSO EASILY DONE AT ONE POINT: DROP TO YOUR KNEES WITH SURPRISE, SHOCK, AND AWE, BECAUSE I HAVE DEMONSTRATED MY TRUTH: I TRULY DO OUTRANK ANY AND/OR ALL OF YOU, SINCE I'M STILL HERE AND STILL NOT GUILTY, HAVE NOT CHEATED ON MY SWEETY(S), AND I AM NEITHER LYING, NOR GETTING AN EGO-BLAST OUT OF ANY OF WHAT ANY OF YOU MIGHT BE THINKING I AM.
5. IT'S NOT THE CRIME. IT'S THE COVERUP. AND WHEN I WAS TOLD TO DO STUPID SHIT, I DID SO, FOR I TRULY HAD NO ONE AROUND TO TELL ME I WAS BEING TAUNTED AND TEASED.
I DIDN'T FEEL THAT IT WAS REALLY ALL **THAT** UNUSUAL UNTIL**MANY** YEARS LATER. AT THAT POINT... YEAH, I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THOSE WHO HAVE DEEMED ME A THREAT TO MASONIC TRADITIONS, AUTHORITY, AND POWER.
BECAUSE I WAS. NOW I AM YOUR ACTUAL GOM {JABAR/GUMBY} MADE REAL. DON'T GET ME WRONG; I LOVE DUNE. WHEN DID THAT BECOME FASHIONABLY POPULAR? LAST I HEARD YOU GAY TOTES LEZZ WHORES WHO IDEALIZED DAVID LYNCH AS THIER SUBSTITUTE FATHER FIGURE WERE INTO LENGTHY, THINLY VEILED AGITPROP SUBVERSIVE TO GLOBAL HEGEMONIC AUTHORITY. WOW, WHAT DID ALL THAT LOOK LIKE TO YOU, BESIDES ANOTHER THING TO BLAME ME FOR, SCOTCH BELLGAB? BECAUSE FUK YEA:
YES, YES, YES. I DID IT. I CONFESS. I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO SURPRISE IN HEART LEFT, UNTIL...
“You made me go to Texas!”
“You forced me to go!”
“All the self-absorbed, narciss
