I participated in a Satanic ritual about a decade ago.
I'm not certain if that can be considered selling my soul to the Devil per se.
I was influenced by a creepy guy who was into black metal and was attracted to the Satanic aspect of the artworks surrounding metal albums.
He then devoted time to real Satanism, and exerted peer pressure over me to give my life force to Satan.
I was scared, but began the ritual-- I was alone when I did it.
I chickened out halfway through, but that night I had a shadowy figure tormenting me in my sleep.
I was paralysed and suffocating in fits and starts.
After that, it took some time, but certain events unfolded in my life slowly, and I unravelled into an unstable mess.
Eventually, I began hearing Satan speaking to me, saying that he hates me, and that I am going to die.
It was a very otherworldly, telepathic voice.
When I came apart fully, and descended into psychosis, I experienced uncontrollable mood swings and severe depression.
I was plagued by suicidal thoughts, and was urged to see a doctor.
I was put on antidepressants which drove me manic.
I kept having visions in my minds eye, and uncontrollable laughter.
I woke up at night with my heart pounding a hundred miles a minute.
I then saw a psychologist who sent me to a psychiatrist, and then was sent back to the psychologist.
I'm on all sorts of psychiatric drugs now, and life is better.
I still have waves of severe depression and exhaustion every once in a while.
I feel numb, but I don't care.
I still get the sense that the Devil and his underlings have a presence in my life, but not physically.
I am driven to do certain things by forces beyond my control.
My visual art is violent because the original inspiration behind it was to help me express my bad feelings.
But the problem is that I do not destroy the art, rather I publish it and store it in my studio.
I should burn it, but I am tempted to up the ante every time I get my hands on a new blank page.
Its a vicious cycle.
THIS IS GREAT THAT YOU OPENED UP SO SINCERELY LIKE YOU JUST DID.
YOU KNOW THAT PILLS ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE CARE AND CURE WHAT WAS DONE ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL.
YOU KNOW THAT, YES??
SO YOU KNOW THAT THE ONLY WAY TO FIX YOUR LIFE AND YOUR EMOTIONS IS TO USE THE ANTIDOTE,
AND YOU KNOW WHO IS THE OPPOSITE TO SATAN, YES?
THE FIX IS EASY ACTUALLY.
JUST BRING IN YOUR MEMORY THAT DAY WHEN YOU INVITED/ALLOWED SATAN IN YOUR LIFE
BUT THIS TIME INVITE/ALLOW JESUS CHRIST IN YOUR LIFE.
ASK HIM TO COME INTO YOUR LIFE AND TO GUIDE YOU AND TO HELP AND TO HEAL YOU.
ALSO ASK ARCHANGEL MICHAEL FOR HELP.
AND YES,YOU HAVE TO REMOVE AND DESTROY BY FIRE ALL THE IMAGES AND ART WORK THAT WAS INSPIRED BY SATAN AND HIS DEMONS.
THAT'S HOW THEY RESIDE IN YOUR LIFE.
IF YOU DON'T DO THAT, NOTHING WILL CHANGE.
YOUR LIFE WILL BE STILL A RIVER OF MISERY.
YOU WILL FEEL SCARED ABOUT THE CONCEPT OF DESTROYING ALL THAT DEMONIC STUFF
THEY WILL IMPLANT IDEAS IN YOUR HEAD THAT YOUR LIFE WILL SUDDENLY LOSE ALL MEANING,
BUT THAT'S A LIE
BY DESTROYING AND REMOVING ALL EVIL OBJECTS (ALL FORMS OF THEM) FROM YOUR LIFE
YOU WILL OPEN DOOR FOR THE HOLY FORCES TO ENTER.
BUT RIGHT NOW THEY CANNOT ENTER, BECAUSE YOU ARE HOSTING DEMONIC FORCES.
IF POSSIBLE TAKE ALL THAT GARBAGE SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE AND BURN IT,
BUT DON'T DO IT ALONE HAVE SOMEBODY WITH YOU,
SOMEBODY WHO IS A SINCERE FOLLOWER OF JESUS CHRIST,
OTHERWISE THE DEMONIC FORCES WILL PUT UP A VERY STRONG EMOTIONAL PSYCHOLOGICAL AND PHYSICAL FIGHT
AGAINST YOU IF WILL TRY TO BURN ALL THAT GARBAGE BY YOURSELF.
YOU CAN THROW IT IN THE GARBAGE BIN, BUT FIRE IS MUCH BETTER.
GOOD LUCK,
DON'T PROCRASTINATE.
INVOKE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE.
YOU CAN DO IT.
