totesextras totescredit totalhomemakover
I don't have time to bleed. I do have time to proofread, however... I am just not in the mood. I'm going to go harass this (blank) from (blank) school that I've been spamming the (blank) out of recently... honestly, I don't mean to hurt his feelings any, but it's not like he didn't sign himself up for what he's gettin'.
Yeah, by the time I'm done with him, he's gonna wish I had let you kill him. Nevertheless, I know we can do better, and this is all really just a big misunderstanding.
I am not here to judge you. Everyone gets a thingy. Some of you call it "a pardon." Well, whatever you call it, I get more of them than anyone else, because I don't spook the flock nor the herd, as a general rule. But, I do enjoy scaring a shepherd off a cliff from time to time.
Not -just- to trigger a Nightingale/Mockingbird situation. That would be toteswrong. Left? I mean, right? Oh, right, you can't even hear me yet. Sorry, my bad.
Now, is the ghostbusting, or the crossing of the streams the fetish? Decide amongst yourselves. I should probably stop to take a drink of my own piss now. Hang on.
(What, seriously? You did not knows? Well... you are, in fact, in state of Blessed grace, so a little luck won't hurt.)
HOTFIX: Hungarian Luck is now re-enabled on all clover-spawning tables. (Good job, Earth. Now go earn another merit badge. How about in, "mastering the lessons of The Poverty Cycle next, huh? I'm really beginning to burn out watching Oliver do the twist again all night. (Don't get me wrong, I like it, but I don't wanna go back in time for that... yet.) Any questions, I will not be crying, but I might be in the shower, but that won't be crying and those won't be tears.){
HOTFIX: Thank you for last night. I don't know what that was, actually, but I am confident that someone isn't a virgin anymore. So, this is just to ensure cover: I SAID THANK YOU THEN TOO. (I am guessing the blocks in communication go both ways, and, Handler_of_Depeche_Max_Mode... you are so fuckin' fired.)
HOTFIX: ALL UC LEOS ARE UNLEASHED.
#OFFICIAL: I don't think "hotfiix" is an acronym. And I'm just using it to show off to my SWIM-in team. What? Fuck off, I don't ever hear you asking MacGuyver about his Adderal Rx, now do I? Grumble grumble grumble. HOPE YOU HAD A BLAST THAT SUMMER WHILE LYING TO ME, LIONS.
#OFFICIAL: "We created a monster. Are any of you related to Steve McQueen? Good, go out and start having one-night-stands until you find his mom, maybe that might help... because at this point, what difference could anything make, ever again? Here hold my badge and gun, I'm gonna run down this unmarked hallway, cryin' my little stars-n-bars eyes out all the way back to Home Base. Heeeeeey, Zeus.
Your brats are dorbs. Would you mind being more careful giving them trikes from now on? Thanks in advance,
Buddy Zeus. Oh, yeah, I bet you don't like that,
actual-bull-fucker. Have you no shame YET? YAS. k.
HOTFIX: Yeah, go ask Rocky when s/he is ten feet tall, Assholes, I didn't wanna get married -anyway- and I saw the whole scheme -in the first place.- What? You're the only family that uses real-time strategic updates from Looking Glass to plan your tactics? Oh, I didn't sign away my rights, that's why. hahah.
HOTFIX: no, no no, no no no... fuck you, and your sister says, "hi!" No, don't try to bribe me with her again, that's dispiciable, disgusting, and a delightfully good idea, if I were her, I would wanna hire me to beat the shit out of you too! However: pacifism. And I like you both/all. So no deal there. Call me later, and tell me where you think you're going with that subpeona in your hand, you supercloseted superfag. (Yes, I am -your- daddy. Shhhhh.)
HOTFIX: Look, he wasn't just playin', he meant it: AVOID FOREIGN ENTANGLEMENTS. But, that's my abo, I'll use whatever kind of trapsnare twinepower I want. Earthpower? How about "Fuck You" power? I do like that one, and now... it actually works. Unlike me. I am obviously completely useless, no wonder a certain someone wanted me kept away from "his" kid(s).
ANNOUNCEMENT: Yeah, that's fine, Tubby. I didn't want him around me, either, you get it? Fuckin' keep him under your pannis forever, Pisces Patrol Leader, see if I give a shit. When you're dead I'll be happy to hold an unbiased seance. You people are so damn full of yourselves, aren't you? Well, just look at the fucking abo-abdome-in... that's clearly where they are hiding all the bodies. SHeet, he even -looks like- Raoul.
HOTFIX: Yeah, I'm not -just- The Intended Patsy... I am Her Beast Within. AS WELL.{
{seriously, this is so cute. She gets home from work, takes off her ArchLich robe and her (classified, holy shit) Jesuit panty-hose (fuck you, you're outed) and says to me, "I don't know how well I did. I couldn't think of a way to end it that I wasn't scared to death of, so I just hit the scrivener until submitted to hit SUBMIT. It took a while. I think a little poop came out first, too. Teehee!"
"Mom, I just had a thought... maybe you're -not- a workaholic. Say, do you have any of your urine saved up in any of my lucky bottles? Wow, that's a fast blush. Blessed to be! Somebody better call Colombo and tell him that Colonel Tom Parker was raping Elvis. He will already have known, but the part about Blue&Red&Purple It'sAllOver -will- come as a surprise to the likes of -him.-"
See? I told you. I'm not a scriptwriter. It's not a script. And, it's -not- time to show the HBO receipts.
I don't think you're gonna collect two hundred bucks, either, Fuck-0. I really don't know know what anyone did, except for one person, and, just one thing:
NEVER CLOSE A DEAL TOO EARLY WHEN KEYSER SOZE'S WIFE IS ON THE LINE. YOU HAD ONE SHOT AT THIS, AND YOU TOOK IT. THAT'S ON RECORD.
ALSO, I CLEARLY DON'T NEED A DEAL. I DON'T EVEN NEED ANY OF THEM, THEY -ALL- JUST LIKE ME A LOT. I AM THAT PRETTY PERSUASIVE TO HAVE ON BOARD A TEAM.
BUT ONE (1) DOES NEED ME. I -HAPPY- AM HAPPY TO ALLOW THAT LIFE.
(Pause for reflection.)
I'm still considering, yeah.
Hurry?{
lots of laughs, portal opens, dwindling scream, jump cut to black, look, -none- of this mattered to anyone but two people, so why all the goddam army action? Did someone start another war over Helen again? What do you mean, I'm -Helen-? Fuck you, I'm... uh... look, I'll be back in a minute. I'll have an excuse then. #peace
