Author Topic: The BellGab Bakeshop  (Read 108655 times)

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #105 on: May 10, 2021, 06:56:45 PM »
I don't suppose anyone on this site would be allowed to be a member of a golf club, but let me tell you that the writing's on the wall when they allow women in. They giggle inappropriately and make me self-conscious when I start telling inappropriate stories or pick my nose. Kick this wench out of our treehouse immediately!

#NoChicks

No you beastly creature, I invited her here!  Roz is one of those rare females who actually enjoys the company of men and acquits herself accordingly, it is no wonder you are quaking in fear!  Your house of cards is about to come tumbling down around your ears and I am fairly giddy with anticipation.

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #106 on: May 10, 2021, 08:03:34 PM »
No you beastly creature, I invited her here!  Roz is one of those rare females who actually enjoys the company of men and acquits herself accordingly, it is no wonder you are quaking in fear!  Your house of cards is about to come tumbling down around your ears and I am fairly giddy with anticipation.

Of course, if you feel you need to call in back-up I would be the last person to deny you that comfort...

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #107 on: May 10, 2021, 09:03:34 PM »
Of course, if you feel you need to call in back-up I would be the last person to deny you that comfort...

What are you talking about you dingbat, I am far more exposed than you!  Just today I claimed to have eaten trees which, when you consider a passing mention of pickled pumpkin several years ago was enough to get the hairy eyeball from the lady in question, must have set off all kinds of suspicions.  I believe the exact language I used invited her to “demolish my pretenses” or something equally silly.  I’m just glad she showed up.  You are the one puling like a perfect poltroon.

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #108 on: May 10, 2021, 09:32:24 PM »
I don't suppose anyone on this site would be allowed to be a member of a golf club, but let me tell you that the writing's on the wall when they allow women in. They giggle inappropriately and make me self-conscious when I start telling inappropriate stories or pick my nose. Kick this wench out of our treehouse immediately!

#NoChicks

Everyone's male here?! Yeesh, I guess I shouldn't have made that penis-jar joke. I mean, 'know your audience' amirite? Just to be clear I do not have a jar of penises on my bedside table.

Speaking of dismemberment, I've been watching Hannibal on Netflix lately, it's pretty good. Before you start thinking I'm a total psycho I do have to skip the gory parts. It gets removed on June 4th so make haste.

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #109 on: May 10, 2021, 09:41:43 PM »
Everyone's male here?! Yeesh, I guess I shouldn't have made that penis-jar joke. I mean, 'know your audience' amirite? Just to be clear I do not have a jar of penises on my bedside table.

Speaking of dismemberment, I've been watching Hannibal on Netflix lately, it's pretty good. Before you start thinking I'm a total psycho I do have to skip the gory parts. It gets removed on June 4th so make haste.

Don't forget, K_Dubb was kept in a cage under the stairs by his Bible-freak parents until he was 25, thus rendering him unacquainted with pop culture, weird, and gay. Mention Hannibal to him and he'll think you're talking about the Carthaginian elephant-enthusiast.

I saw some of it and thought it was artsy balls, but one man's penis cake etc...

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #110 on: May 10, 2021, 09:49:54 PM »
What are you talking about you dingbat, I am far more exposed than you!  Just today I claimed to have eaten trees which, when you consider a passing mention of pickled pumpkin several years ago was enough to get the hairy eyeball from the lady in question, must have set off all kinds of suspicions.  I believe the exact language I used invited her to “demolish my pretenses” or something equally silly.  I’m just glad she showed up.  You are the one puling like a perfect poltroon.

It's a shame I moved out of the Pacific northwest before I realized you can make pine needle tea.

Also, I don't remember the pickled pumpkin incident. Are you sure it was me? My memory has been terrible lately. Hopefully it's stress induced and temporary.

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #111 on: May 10, 2021, 10:08:30 PM »
Don't forget, K_Dubb was kept in a cage under the stairs by his Bible-freak parents

I can relate. I didn't enjoy it as much as K. Dubb seems to have.

I saw some of it and thought it was artsy balls, but one man's penis cake etc...

It is. It gets even more artsy as it goes on. I don't think it will age well and the ending is a bit cringe. I still liked it though, thought it was unique.

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #112 on: May 10, 2021, 10:13:13 PM »
It's a shame I moved out of the Pacific northwest before I realized you can make pine needle tea.

Also, I don't remember the pickled pumpkin incident. Are you sure it was me? My memory has been terrible lately. Hopefully it's stress induced and temporary.

I’m sorry, honey.  Yes, it was years ago in a gabcast chat where you questioned its use in a Christmas bread, and whether the ginger I pickled it with is a Nordic spice.  You thought I was trolling you.  I believe your words were something along the lines of, “you’re trolling me”.  I thought it was cute, so I remembered.

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #113 on: May 10, 2021, 10:17:31 PM »
I ... pick my nose. Kick this wench out of our treehouse immediately!

#NoChicks

Just for that I am going to use the GI-Bill benefits I promised to sign over to her to enroll in the last two classes I need for the old degree (sawry, Roz!  There should be a tiny bit left if you want it...) one of which is going to be "Wimmin's Literature."

Apparently I need to find copies of the following:

"Beloved" - Toni Morrison
"Fun Home:  A Family Tragicomic" - Allison Bechdel
"Emma" - Jane Austen
&
"Sing, Unburied, Sing: A Novel" - Jesmyn Ward

I am looking forward to this class:  it is sure to be full of hawt Commie-chicks, FemiNazis and Cat-Ladies.  The instructor appears to be a dude, probably a gay, cuckold and/or soy-boi.  I will of course get an A due to my superior Manliness and Testosterone levels, unfortunately I will not be able to attend shirtless.  That would probably be a vulgar display of power...

I am surprised there is no Cookbook or Baking Compendium for this class.  I will be sure to bring my copy of "River Road Recipes:  The Textbook of Louisiana Cuisine" that my mother gave me to class.  It was written by a bunch of Southern Belle-types, and it will be useful I imagine in enticing one, or more, of my female classmates to be my "study partner."



ediot:  Roz, you will remain and shall, of course, forever be my favorite Sweet Cookie.  I am but a man...

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #114 on: May 10, 2021, 10:22:19 PM »
👆🏻🤽🏻‍♂️🔥🥵👅 pate is HAWT btw

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #115 on: May 10, 2021, 10:56:26 PM »
I’m sorry, honey.  Yes, it was years ago in a gabcast chat where you questioned its use in a Christmas bread, and whether the ginger I pickled it with is a Nordic spice.  You thought I was trolling you.  I believe your words were something along the lines of, “you’re trolling me”.  I thought it was cute, so I remembered.

I think the memory is starting to come back. Was that the Christmas bread that was too wet? I think I suggested using dried fruit and then re-hydrating it before adding to the dough?

Just like that we're back on topic.

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #116 on: May 10, 2021, 11:16:06 PM »
I think the memory is starting to come back. Was that the Christmas bread that was too wet? I think I suggested using dried fruit and then re-hydrating it before adding to the dough?

Just like that we're back on topic.

Yes!  Just like old times.

I have learned so much about sweet fruited dough since then:  multiple raisings, sneaking up on the flour, rolling one direction, high-protein flour and additional gluten, leaving it in the garage overnight to proof not cold but cool like you see in old recipes — stuff I thought was stupid nonsense and just skipped, but now I see why.  I am stubborn that way.  Still not there; the penis cake wasn’t “sheety” like I want, where you can see swirls of texture inside, just an average crumb, but there is hope!

Part of the problem I think is that I refuse to get a mixer; I want a proper workout dammit 💪 and my stamina just isn’t there yet.

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #117 on: May 10, 2021, 11:34:40 PM »
Just for that I am going to use the GI-Bill benefits I promised to sign over to her to enroll in the last two classes I need for the old degree (sawry, Roz!  There should be a tiny bit left if you want it...) one of which is going to be "Wimmin's Literature."

Apparently I need to find copies of the following:

"Beloved" - Toni Morrison
"Fun Home:  A Family Tragicomic" - Allison Bechdel
"Emma" - Jane Austen
&
"Sing, Unburied, Sing: A Novel" - Jesmyn Ward




Could you write me a summary of those books when you're done? I should read them but I think I'll just listen to 'I am woman' a few times and call it a day.




I am surprised there is no Cookbook or Baking Compendium for this class.  I will be sure to bring my copy of "River Road Recipes:  The Textbook of Louisiana Cuisine" that my mother gave me to class.  It was written by a bunch of Southern Belle-types, and it will be useful I imagine in enticing one, or more, of my female classmates to be my "study partner."




That sounds good. Many years ago when I lived in Key West I bought a cookbook off someone selling stuff out of his shopping cart. It was Paul Prudhomme's "Louisiana Cooking". I didn't know it at the time but, damn, that guy can cook! It's really hard to overstate how good those recipes are. Anyway, I'm big fan of Creole and Cajun cooking now.

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #118 on: May 10, 2021, 11:46:49 PM »
👆🏻🤽🏻‍♂️🔥🥵👅 pate is HAWT btw

That is what MV said as well. You two must have the same taste in men.

Re: The BellGab Bakeshop
« Reply #119 on: May 11, 2021, 12:03:05 AM »

Could you write me a summary of those books when you're done? I should read them but I think I'll just listen to 'I am woman' a few times and call it a day.



That sounds good. Many years ago when I lived in Key West I bought a cookbook off someone selling stuff out of his shopping cart. It was Paul Prudhomme's "Louisiana Cooking". I didn't know it at the time but, damn, that guy can cook! It's really hard to overstate how good those recipes are. Anyway, I'm big fan of Creole and Cajun cooking now.

Ah, Key West.  I was briefly a Conch Republican in Oct'92 to Jan'93, me and the old Lady went there to work a season under the guise of assisting in the Hurricane Andrew Relief effort...  I worked the TGIFridays dish-pit (anagram of dipshit, I believe) until I scored the sweet gig at Cafe/Hotel Marquesa.  That place seems to have declined in quality from what I can surmise from their online menu.  The pastry-chef used to give me the dessert plates when one of the multi-layered torte slices fell over...

They made those things tall, not quite "Russian Penis Cake" tall, but a good 8-9 inches.  Something like this:

But with more layers, and not as sloppy looking.

Hell, they fed me pretty good now that I think about it.  It seemed like the chefs were always "fucking up" a plate that the "wait-trons" (as I called the servers) would bring me.

They also used actual silver for the silver-ware, and only sat a table once per lunch or dinner period;  which was awesome for a seventeen-year old pot-head in the dish-pit (or dipshit).

She knew some local dude, his family owned the ice cream shop at the end of Duval Street, we camped out on his front porch for the first few weeks we were there.  Literally pitched a tent on his front porch!  Ha, good times.