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[Worthauger]

Butter wouldn't melt in your mouth.

I can track this down if you want. I'm all out of judging targets and I got this big fucking Hammer to swing, I got no problems being there, editor or not, here I'm... still not coming. I almost did last night, but it was in the mood, I was busy writing "I love you" over and over and over 800 million times in a big chalkboard in the sky.


The fact that it worked is probably just a coincidence, right? I'm willing to believe that. Enough excuse me I'm going to go smoke some weed, or maybe I'll burn some money and think about how to switch to Coke I don't fucking know or care you know my aunt always liked Pepsi... She and her "I got dentures at 15 smile" really insisted on it.

Yeah. I'm The Voice of The Vise. Set phasers to squeeze/scream/squeal, A’Itch/Xitch/Bitch. (Oh, now I know where she went. Cool, I'm an Investigator again. They really should have pardoned me when they had the chance, Moron.)

Now I'm obsessed with the other one. Dick or not here I come. *sploosh*

[Jackstar]

What? Christmas Glover isn't available? That's too bad.

#1) That's not Miller.
#2) I had nothing to do with this. Never seen it before. Intriguing. Looks like I have someone's dog's ass to watch homework come out of tonight. (Another one?) Cool. I'm on this, I don't need a fuckin' team.
#3) Everything seems in order here. Here, take this five hundred and fifty-five and a level zero point five van-spanner piece of non-nylon rope, and tell her to save enough to tie me up with, and whip me back to life with the rest. (I told you: time for PAIN.)


And, this weed sucks, Superman. I thought you were strong? Start straining, motherfucker, and you can start with moving that pot'o'(fish+actionable_evidence) a few feet to your fuckin' left, or your fuckin' right, okay, now move it back to the left, and... yeah, that's right, Superman, you're gonna do The Time Warp Again again.

Welcome to Hungarian Heaven. It's Hell for ex-pat Kryptonians. Not just checkmate... served, Mate. (You said you were wondering when the next practical joke would be? Yep, This Is, In Fact, IT. /hunga-ga-ga-giggle)



(by the way, these hidden messages in this video directed at Certain People are mostly harmless.

Mostly. Most Lee? I'm in for #2 Size. (Hi!))

[Jackstar]

All the cool kids are doing it these days. &, Jackstar hates them.

In their future we find one cool kid that isn't doing it, and that one pays for all the rest. You know this is true cuz otherwise, I wouldn't be here.

Oh, I love the smell of constant reassurance in the morning. If there's anything more constant than agent orange, well then I'm sure he would have taken the shirt too, wouldn't he have? Because I took them both, lol

[Jackstar]

I don't even need you to trust my dick.

I don't trust it either. Thus, discipline, demonstrated. Quot erat demonstratum.

[Jackstar]

I don't trust it either. Thus, discipline, demonstrated. Quot erat demonstratum.

I don't think it's a rumour. Bam.

[Jackstar]

Bam.

Bam-Bam just walked in the door, asking where Fred is ("Fred," I'm saying, not "Where's Dad?" Fred.) and of course that's not -exactly- how it went down, but I'm here to tell you, this is really good weed, I never had sex with that woman, I never went down on that woman, no one has been going down on me, eyes rolling gainsward (I used to think it was Heaven) and nope, not going down on her for the first time/never again tonight/tomorrow either/or. I AM SURE.

The Nautical Shore hath been breached a looooong time ago. Here's your sign.

It doesn't say "223." It reads, "Tu-Tu Tree." The click is cilent. 5BAM5

[Jackstar]

Bam-Bam just walked in the door, asking where Fred is ("Fred," I'm saying, not "Where's Dad?" Fred.) and of course that's not -exactly- how it went down [...] 5BAM5

It's true. I do feel different. No hurry to do all that again just for that but the thirst to be quenched --as a struggle-- is real.

Next? Let Bam-Bam fuck it to death with (PROT)'s dick in a vice/slammer. I'd stay up sober to watch for that, maybe, if I had nothing better to do. (I do.)


I'm not being too humble here, am I? Hard to tell. So hard. Bam-ble is easy if humility is hard.)

[Jackstar]

So hard.

I was really just thinking about all the overtime people were going to have to put in after what they were doing was going to break on them, months later. It was inevitable. You were warned. It wasn't a punishment. It was.... CONSEQUENCES.

And that is The Truth. Suffer, Mortals? Let me tell you about suffering. I had to watch you figure it out and I couldn't tell you until TODAY. TO DEA? TO DEATH? NO. BAPTIZED ONCE, BAPTIZED FOR LIFE IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A NON-NEGOTIABLE INSTRUMENT OF  A VALID SOUL CONTRACT. IT'S NOT EVEN ANY KIND OF MOTTO ATOMIC AUTOMATIC INSTRUMENT AT ALL! NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE. NOW I HAVE TO GO BUY SOME BEER. AAWWW SHUCKS.


Not so sad. So HAPPY. lol. And, I AM! Totes! That's a shitload of overtime, tho. Someone's gotta pay, and, they already DID-DOD-DEE.

[Jackstar]

Welcome to Hungarian Heaven.

EARNED. I am better than this though. Still--EARNED.

[Master Trollda]

EARNED. I am better than this though. Still--EARNED.

Totesposer. 

/flex

[Jackstar]

Totesposer. 

/flex

HALF. More, after the break.

[Jackstar]

That's a shitload of overtime

If it helps any I'm donating my lion's share of the bounty back into the merks. Semper tutu.

[Worthauger]

Totesposer.

I literally came up with a five letter word that meant "tower" that wasn't TOWER so I could help with The 9/11 Avengement Project (not my favorite Project I've consulted on, but, close) with two words that meant the same thing... otherwise, Punies would eventually notice, it takes forever, but sometimes, you gotta spell it right out to them. And then... it became totesdorbs. See that? That's alchemy. You know what that is, motherfucker?

Pure, paw, pearlpower. That's THE ADVANTAGE that the Kuczi Oscillating Overthruster brings to the table, and if I installed it in a goddam kangaroo's pouch that I had flown in from Tanzan 4special, IDGAF what you -really- think, ingrate imbecile, you stand up and salute that goddam marsupials pouch anyway. Like you mean it. *CRACK* Here your's jawbone. Now, shoo/SCRAM.

God loves you. I'm gonna think it over. Maybe I'll allow it. MAYBE. TOWER. JBONE. 2HARD?


TOUGH. ILUT35
(I bet you're uncertain what you want to do next, but, here's a hint: it's probably not your homework, since there's a dog scheduled to eat it at 0912 EST Monday.)

[Jackstar]

God loves you. I'm gonna think it over. Maybe I'll allow it. MAYBE. TOWER. JBONE. 2HARD?


TOUGH. ILTIA

Wake up, piss out the bile of my enemies, and then go directly back to bed. Or, whatever it is you do.

War is easy. #Winning is hard — and, so am I.

[Asuka Langley]