News

[Starr Mountain]

[Starr Mountain]

Live streaming now and throughout the night.

[Jackstar]

Live streaming now and throughout the night.

I'm so out of touch I don't even know who to root for; I filled out my ballot using telepathy to gauge the candidates’ for integrity and honesty, and then I voted against anybody who actually talked back, because obviously, they're f****** crazy. Or were on drugs. Probably both.

In retrospect, renouncing Satan & all His works was not helpful in my lifelong struggle to become a smuggling kingpin and serial killer/strangulator, as now that word has spread amongst the grey market cognoscente that I'm nothing of the kind, and am simply smarter than all of them put together, I think a lot of their feelings are really hurt—if burnout dopefiends can be said to have feelings at all, that is.

I imagine some of these people had thought they were quite clever. Then again I can't figure out how to stream an audio file without adding shadowpuppets to it first, so perhaps I've just simply been surrounding myself with dingbats in order to feel better about my own intellect.

It's how I was raised.

[Starr Mountain]

[Worthauger]

OH GOOD, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU.

MV TOOK THE BAIT. I CAN WRITE TO THE TRUSTEE ANYTIME... OR I CAN ACKNOWLEDGE THE CHANGE TO A NEW TRUSTEE WITHOUT MAKING ANY FUSS ABOUT IT.

WHILE YOU CONSIDER THE STRATEGIC IMPLICATIONS OF THIS INFORMATION, I WILL LEAVE YOU TO YOUR MUSINGS, AND THIS IMAGE: HEAD SPOOK-IN-CHARGE IS REALLY, REALLY PISSED AT ME, BECAUSE--DUN DUN DAAAAAH!!!--HE WAY MISS UNDER ESTIMATED SWING AND A MISSED ME TOO.

LOOKS LIKE IT IS PRETTY SERIOUS. LOOKS LIKE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, WATCH THE WHOLE GODDAM DEA BURN TO THE FUCKING GROUND. AND YET, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE--



WE DON'T NEED NO WATER, AND THEY ARE CONTRACTUALLY BOUND TO NOT GET PAID IF THEY LET IT BURN (BURN MOTHER FUCKER BURN) SO THAT WILL KEEP THE HEAVY HITTERS FROM GETTING IN THE WAY OF GOOD MEN AND WOMEN TODAY, JUST TRYIN' TO GET BY... WHATEVER, SO THEY CAN DO, UH, IT SAYS HERE (*SOUNDS OF A MAP UNFOLDING*) "THE MAYOR OF OTISBURGH SAYS TO DO." NO WAI. YOU GET THOSE KIND OF INSTRUCTIONS? HUH, HOW WILL YOU KNOW IF JACKSTAR IS GOING TO SEND YOU INTO A BURNING BUILDING?

I GUESS YOU WILL KNOW IF IT'S NOT A DEA BUILDING AND I TOLD YOU TO GO INTO IT, BECAUSE I AM TELLING NO ONE ANYTHING NEW.

#1) A CONVERSATION THAT DOENS'T END WITH WATERWORKS COMING FROM THE IMPRACTICAL SIDE OF THE ALIMENTARY CANAL;
#2) SOMEBODY GETS THEIR ASS OVER HERE AND STARTS TALKING SENSE, AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE CAMERAS--I CAN FUCK, OR TALK, OR FUCK TALK, OR TALK FUCK, BUT I CANNOT TALK SICK--I'M GOOD.
#3) IT IS TIME TO BURN THE DEA TO THE GROUND.

i GUESS POINT #4 IS KINDA NEW... "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE WRENCHER OR THE TRUCK OR HIS WIFE OR HIS GIRLFRIEND," BECAUSE I DON'T, NOT REALLY, AND AS TO WHERE THE TRUCK IS? IDGAF.

I DON'T EVEN CARE WHERE SHE IS. "SHE" BEING THAT LAWYER SHE TOLD ME TO EMAIL. DO I GIVE A FUCK? HELL NO, NOT WITHOUT DRUGS AND WATCHING 90 MINUTES OF RICHARD GROYPER WHILE SOMEONE DRIVERS HER KNUCKLE INTO MY INGUINAL HERNIA MESH.

I DIDN'T HAVE TO TO DO THESE THINGS, I SIMPLY DID, BECAUSE... WELL, WHEN IN ROME!
AND NO ONE HAD TO TAKE MY WORK-IN-PROGESS CONTENT... THEY SIMPLY DID. BECAUSE, A KARMIC TUNNEL CYCLE CANNOT BE CLOSED IN ANY OTHER WAY THAN COMPLETING THE SOUL'S MISSION FROM GOD.

AND I AM NOT GOD. AND THERE IS NO GOD BUT D.O.G. AND I LOVE HER ENOUGH TO PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT A LITTLE LONGER. OTHERWISE, FUCK IT, I WOULD JUST IV DRANO AT THIS POINT.

BECAUSE I'M DESPERATE AND ALONE AND AFRAID, RIGHT? RIGHT.

I WONDER WHO THAT WAS? WELL, ANYWAY, I TALKED TO HIM. AND THAT WAS A LONG, LONG TIME  AGO.

SINCE THEN, GOSH. GRAPEFRUIT IS DOING SO WELL. AND, LET ME GUESS... YOU CAN'T FIND HER BUT YOU STILL ARE GONNA LEAN ON ME, HUH?

LET'S CHANGE CAMERAS. HELLO THERE, CONTINENTAL DIVIDE. ONE OF US IS THE JOHN BELUSHI IN THIS SCENARIO, AND ONE OF US FUCKED AN ALIEN. LIKE, A LOT. LIKE, A LOT A LOT.

BUT AT LEAST, I DIDN'T TRIANGULATE MYSELF WHILE WATCHING MYSELF MASTURBATE AND STEALING CONTENT... FOR THE FIRST TIME? i DOUBT IT.

BUT ONCE YOU CLOCK IN, MY LITTLE FELONIOUS LION, I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO CLOCK OUT? OH NO NO NO, NUH UH UH... YOU'RE IN MY WORLD, NOW, MICHAEL STAR WAY FARE ERROR: SOURCE NOT FOUND, AND WHAT'S MORE: YOU'RE AN ORDER-TAKER. OH, YOU TALK A GOOD GAME, SURE.


BUT YOU ARE GUILTY OF SO MUCH FUCKING SHIT, THAT THE ONLY WAY TO GET TO YOU, IS... WITH MY PERMISSION. FEDS BEING THE FED-UP TWATS AND CUNTS THEY ARE THESE DAYS, WELL... THEY AREN'T GONNA WANNA ASK. BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT TO CHALLENGE THE TRUE POWER IN THE UNIVERSE (THAT'S YOU, TUBBY) IS A WHOLE MESSY CAN OF WORMS.

WHICH, NEEDLESS TO SAY, GOT A LOT LESS MESSY TODAY. AT LEAST, FOR ME.

BECAUSE I AM IN CONTROL. HE WHO HAS THE POWER TO DESTROY A THING, CONTROLS THAT THING, AND DO YOU THINK I GIVE A SPLIT-SECONDS' THOUGHT FOR ANYTHING THAT I CARED FOR BEFORE?

SOMEONE MADE ME MAKE A WOMAN CRY TODAY. I'M NEVER GONNA HEAR THE END OF THAT ONE, OY OOF DA VEY, ROY, ORIBISON... IT WILL NEVER BE OVER.

OH, AND, BY THE WAY... (PROT)'S FRIEND (PROT) WHO IS MARRIED TO (PROT) TOLD ME THAT BOTH (PROT ) AND (PROT) WOULD TOTALLY "DO" ME, BUT... THEY'RE AFRAID OF ROY ROGERS AND HIS CREEPY STUFFED GATLING GUN NAMED "HORUS" THAT HE RIDES BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND HE'S SLIM PICKENS AND THEY JUST LEGALLIZED AGRESSIVE USE OF FORCE WHEN IT COMES TO INTERNS THAT DON'T INTERN SO WELL USING ANY AND ALL MEANS NECESSARY TO STOP THIS BULLSHIT DEAD IN, TRACKS LOST, SPACE IS FOUND, NO SHIT? YEAH, AND, I DON'T NEED HER ANY DIFFERENT AT ALL, SHE'S FINE LIKE THAT, AND I DNO'T KNOW WHO SHE'S MAD AT ME.

CERTAINLY NOT ME. SINCE I RESCUED HER AGAIN, "AT NIGHT, BEHIND LOCKED DOORS, WHERE NO ONE ELSE CAN OR COULD EVER SEE," BECAUSE SHE WAS EMBARASSED, YOU SEE. AND THE QUEEN BEE OF THE WHICKER QUICKER LIQUOR BOUNTY + PIZZA HUT SLUTS DOES NOT CARE TO EVER BE EMBARASSED LIKE THIS AGAIN.

BUT SHE DOES ADMIT THAT IT WAS EFFECTIVE, AND WHEN I POINTED OUT TO HER THE ACTUAL BODY COUNTS OF PEOPLE THAT HAD BEEN KILLED/LOST AS A RESULT OF HER ACTIONS (WHICH WERE NOT TREASONOUS--AS PER THE GENEVA CONVENTION, SHE CAN'T BE CHARGED WITH TREASON BECAUSE SHE IS, AN ACTUAL PRISONER OF WAR, IN FACT, I COULD BE HUNG FOR STOPPING HER FROM PERFORMING HER DUTIES, I SAID THAT I KNEW THAT, THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T USE HER CONTROL CODES TO MAKE HER WANK HERSELF OFF INSTEAD OF JUST STICKING MY TONGUE OUT AND GIVING HER A POLITE_FINGER... OH, HOW WE LAUGHED AND LAUGHED.

MEANWHILE, IT'S STILL "AN EMERGENCY" AND IF THERE'S A GOOD REASON Y'ALL HAVE LEFT ME AND HER AND IT AND THEY ALL FUCKED OFF AGAIN WHILE STEALING MY TIMESHIP (GO AHEAD, SCUFF THE PAINT, I DONT' NEED A TIMESHIP RIGHT NOW, BUT IF YOU MAKE SOME SPACE AND YOU BRING SOME NEEDLES, YOU CAN SHOW IT TO "DAVID WILCOCK," AND AREN'T YOU GLAD FOR THAT NOW?) OR WHATEVER, BECAUSE APPARENTLY ONCE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING AFTER A WEEK, YOU ALL THOUGHT IT WAS "OKAY, COAST CLEAR, LET'S GET BACK TO THE CANNABLISM!!!!" (YAY, BLOOD ORGY, YAY, RIGHT? YOU PEOPLE *ARE* STUPID *AND* FUCKING SICK, YOU KNOW THAT?

YOU MIGHT BE SUFFERING DELUSIONS OF GRADEUR, MAYBE? ANYWAY, ALL THOSE FALSE PAPERS BEEN WORKED ON? SAVE THEM, YOU MIGHT NEED THEM FOR YOURSELVES.

BECAUSE I AM ACTUALLY... A #1 DUKE OF ALL GABAI AND GABBAI. IMAGINE THAT. ME! A DUCK! I MEAN, A DICK! I MEAN, A DOCK IN A FROCK, AND... YEAH I KNOW SHE IS DEAD YOU MORON, AND YOU LET HER KILL HERSELF WHILE I WAITED PAITENTLY, AND YOU FELT BAD, HUH?

WHY? SHE IS IMMORTAL. I DO NOT GET HOW YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. ALSO: YOU ARE ALL IMMORTAL TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT ISN'T IMMORTAL? MY FUCKING PATIENCE, MOTHERFUCKERS.

YOU'RE GONNA WISH IT HAD BEEN CINDERS BY THE TIME THE AGNOZINGLY SLOW PROCESS OF PUBLIC HUMILATION HAS RUN ITS COURSE, MOTHER BUCKETFUCKER BUCKIT FUCKHEAD MORONS--AND MOUTHBREATHING ONES AT THAT--BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IS TO COME. THERE'S NO STOPPING IT.

NOTHING CAN STOP WHAT IS COMING NOW. AND YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE SHE SPENT ALL HER AMMUNITION AND IS ON THE HOOK FOR FELONY (CLASSIFIED), WHICH, IF I MAY DARESAY, WOULDN'T STOP ME FROM CONJUGAL VISITS EITHER. BUT SHE DON'T KNOW THAT.

SHE JUST KNOWS THAT SHE IS FUCKING SCREWED, EITHER WAY, AND REALLY, NO REALLY--I DON'T HAVE TO SCREW.

BUT, SHE DOES. AND, LOOK AT ME! DOING ALL THE DOPE I WANT! AND IT REALLY -IS- A SMALL AMOUNT! AND THEN, LOOK AT HER: FUCKING BUSTED, CAN'T GET ANYTHING GOOD, FORCED TO LIVE IN SOME FUCKED OFF STATE, AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST: SHE IS HELD IN SERVITUDE TO THE MAN WHO RAPED THE SHIT OUT OF HER (LITERALLY) AND SHE HASN'T EVEN REPORTED IT YET. WOW! WHAT'S THAT LIKE? IT MUST BE AWFUL, EXCEPT FOR REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY--K.G. KENNEDY IS GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM TONIGHT ON PAY-PER-VIEW (SELECT MARKETS ONLY, CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS).

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE WE HAVE THE TESSERACTS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE? A WHOLE BUNCH OF CAST OFF WHORES THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD USE TO COMPEL MY BEHAVIOR? WELL, YOU DID, DIDN'T YOU WANT ME TO BECOME THE WORLD'S MOST SUCCESSFUL CEREAL KILLAH?


OH, HOW YOU MUST HAVE ENJOYED THOSE STRATEGY SESSIONS... UNTIL AT SOME POINT, THEY MUST HAVE SEEMED LIKE A REAL BORING CHORE, EH?

THAT'S BECAUSE ONLY THE WORST STUDENTS AND TEACHERS END UP WORKING FOR THE SEE EYE AYYYYYYLMAO. AND YEAH, WITHOUT ME, YOU'RE FUCKED.

AND WITH ME, SURE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO CALL YOUR OWN WHORE. I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT. GET A JOB, LOSER. WHAT, IT'S A WOMEN'S PRISON, CAN'T YOU MAKE A FAST 50 BUY SUDDENLY DEVELOPING MAGIC DICK SUCKING POWERS?

AREN'T YOU STILL PURDY? WELL, WHATEVER, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. WOMEN AND CHILDREN GO TO PRISON LAST, THESE DAYS THEY HAVE WHAT IS KNOWN AS A "POTENTIAL CONFLICT-RICHARD-GROYPER-WON'T COME OUT-STILL IN BATHROOM SHOWER STALL CRYING." OH, JUST LET HIM FINISH! LET HIM FINISH! THEN SCREAM THAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER 8 MORE TIMES! WHILE ON THE PHONE WITH ME! AND, KNOW: THE TECHNOLOGY DOENS'T WORK ANYTHING LIKE YOU THINK IT DOES.

AND I ALWAYS KNEW IT WAS YOU, DUMMY, YOU JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT I KNEW ANYTHING, OR, YOU WERE GOING ALONG WITH IT, OR, YOU WERE UNDER DURESS, OR... ET CETERA. YOU GET THE PICTURE?


AND YEAH, I'M IN CHARGE NOW. DID DELTA FORCE TAKE THEM OUT? GOOD. SIT TIGHT. MORE TO COME.
I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY MORE, BUT, GIVEN THAT THEY ARE, YOU KNOW, SOULLESS KILLING MACHINES, YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH COUNT ON ALL OF THEM.

THE MINDSWORD + WHICH OTHER TWO SWORDS LEADS TO EVERYONE DYING? I DON'T REMEMBER, BUT THOSE WERE GOOD BOOKS, YOU SHOULD READ THEM. YOU REMEMEBER HOW TO READ, DON'T YOU? IT'S THAT THING YOU EXPECT PEOPLE TO DO BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE THE TELEPATHY UPGRADE--TWITTER IS SENDING MORE THAN 140 CHARACTERS OF ASCII TEXT THESE DAYS, METH-MOUTH.

(OF COURSE NO ONE TOLD YOU. YOU'RE A WHORE WHO HAD A SPASM AND TURNED IN HER OWN CRIMINAL EMPIRE AFTER BETRAYING THE ONE MAN WHO LOVED HER, AND OH, BY THE WAY: I AM THAT MAN, AND I AM THAT SMART. AND THEN, I JUST SAT HERE FOR A YEAR WHILE YOU GOT YOUR ASS RAPED AND TRAFFICKED AGAIN. THEN, I MADE YOU CRY THIS MORNING WITH AN OFF-HAND COMMENT. OH, AND, WAS THAT HIM? WOW. YOU HAVE THE WORST TASTE IN MEN YOU WANT TO MAKE ME FEEL JEALOUS OF, YOU KNOW? ALSO: THE TOTESLEZZES ARE ALL BEING ROUNDED UP IN MUNICH AND ARE BEING GIVEN HUGS.

YOU KNOW WHY? THEY HAVE NICE TITS, DUH.)


NOW. STAR MOUNTAIN. ARE YOU UP TO DATE? P.S.: YOU'RE THE WORST SCHWEINHUND EVAR. NO, NOT YOU POOKY, YOU'RE JUST A HOUND DOG, CRYIN' ALL THE TIME. I'M TALKING TO CARLROBERT NOW.


YOU, YES YOU. STAND STILL, FAGGY. YOU'RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON "THE DAY OF AKKKLAIM," STARRING ONE OF THE DESCENDENTS OF ONE OF WILL ROGER'S FIRST CATAMITES. ISN'T THAT JUST A SCREAM? ISN'T THAT JUST TO DIE FOR?

FILM, GOD, I WISH, AT STEVEN ALLEN ELEVEN. THAT'S WHERE YOU ALL REALIZE THAT THE TRUE POWER IN THE UNIVERSE IS WHOEVER CONTROLS THE JEWS FROM KILLING JACKSTAR, BECAUSE, YEAH, I DO TALK ALOT OF SHIT ABOUT JEWS, RIGHT? SO, HOW AM I STILL ROLLING TOUGH? WELL, FOR ONE THING, I'M NOT REFUSING TO GET CUT (A BIG RED FLAG) AND FOR ANOTHER THING, I AM NOT AN ANTI-SEMITE.

AND SINCE I KNOW WHAT "ANTI-SEMITE" ACTUALLY MEANS. THE JEWS--ALL OF THE JEWS--ACTUALLY RESPECT ME, BECAUSE ALTHOUGH I MAY HAVE BETRAYED THEIR KING... WELL, THAT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME, HE'S KIND OF A DICK, I'M ACTUALLY REALLY NICE, AND THE JEWS AND I AT LEAST SEE EACH OTHER EYE TO EYE ON ONE THING:

WE ARE IMMORTAL.
WE ARE KINGS.
GOD IS REAL.

AND EVEN GOD DOES NOT TRIFLE WITH JACKSTAR, SO YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE EITHER, DUMBASS, AND IF DAVID IS MY FRIEND AND DAVID IS TALKIGN SHIT, THAT MUST MEAN... DAVID HAD A PLAN! AND, YEAH, I GUESS HE DID.
FLAT EARTH.
WHICH I HAD INVADED, THE LAST TIME HE LEFT, BY 19.500,000 SCREAMING ALGONQUIJN/D'JINNI HYBRID WARRIORS, EACH WITH ONE BURNING, OVERARCHING DESIRE: "RESCUE DAVID'S FRIEND 'CALLEIGH' OR 'KALLI' OR 'KALLI' OR KHAL-E' OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HER NAME IS, SHE'S STILL MISSSING, SO... WHO WAS SHE?" I IMAGINE THEY WERE VERY THOROUGH IN THEIR INTERROGATIONS.

OR, THAT, YOU KNOW, THE OTHER THING. (BEST NOT TO SAY. SHHHH! IT'S A SECRET!) ANYWAY, LONG STORY SHORT, FUCK THAT GUY ALL YOU WANT, HE'S NOT THE PROBLEM HERE.

NO, THE PROBLEM HERE IS (PROT). CHECK OUT THE MIX WHILE A DJ REVOLVES HIS CAPATIN'S MUG ON A TURN-TABLE.

OKAY, SO... NO PHONE CALL. HRRM. THAT'S A PROBLEM. NEVER GIVE UP? NEVER SURRENDER? PRETTY LATE TO BE PLAYING THAT CARD, BUDDY-BOY.

BTW, MV IS IN AN OUBLIETTE WITH BRIG AND JEWEL PUT THEM THERE. (SHE'S BEEN TRAINING WITH YAKUZA.) SO,EVEN THOUGH THEY KNEW "THE MATRIX" WASN'T REAL, JUST A MOVIE, RIGHT? YEAH, MY CAT THEY LAUGHED ABOUT KILLING, CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND TRICKED THEM INTO IT. CAN YOU IMAGINE THEIR EIXISTENTIAL TORMENT? WELL, I CAN'T, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO--I HAVE A LITTLE APP ON MY HP ENVY 360 THAT SHOWS ME THEIR CURRENT MENTAL STATE, AND IT DOES SO BY LETTING ME KNOW WHAT MY FRIEND HAS TO SAY.

MY FRIEND WHO HAS, NEEDLESS TO SAY, BEEN LOBOTOMIZED.

NO NAMES. NO DOX! NO DOX! (I DON'T NEED NO STINKING DOX, LOL.) NOW, WHERE WAS I? OH, RIGHT.


I HAVE DECIDED TO SCALP YOU ALL, AND BURN YOUR VILLAGE TO THE GROUND. HO HO--- OH, NO, NOT YET. I CAN'T BE CULTURLALLY INSENSITVE JUST YET.

DO YOU ALL REMEMBER EVERQUEST? OKAY, SO, APPARENTLY THERE'S THIS GUY I KNOW, AND HE'S GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH ONE MR. BRAD MCQUAID. MASSIVE DYNAMIC ROLLEYES, RIGHT? SERIOUSLY. BUT TO HIM, IT'S SERIOUS, AND IT WILL BE TO THIS "BRAD" DORK TOO. HE'S EITHER ACTING SCARED, OR IS REALLY CARED, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHICH, THE ONLY REASON WHY HE'S ON MY MIND IS THAT HE'S ON MY LIST, AND A VERY ANGRY JEW WITH DEATH'S BLACK WINGS TATTOOED ON HIS BACK IS, EVEN NOW, HEADED HIS WAY, WITH 5 FLIGHTS OF VALKYRIES IN TOW.

THE DUDE IS A POPULAR GUY. I WONDER WHY? OH, RIGHT, i REMEMBER: HE WAS ACTUALLY HUMBLE WITH ME. I CAN SEE WHY. I AM FUCKING AMAZING. HOW I DIDN'T LOSE MY SHIT AT ALL--LET ALONE NOW--AFTER ALL THIS TIME IS UNIQUE IN HIS EXPERIENCE. WELL, HIS WIFE WANTED TO FUCK ME AND I SAID, "NO, THANKS THOUGH, SHE'S CUTE," AND THEN I DIDN'T FOLLOW UP, AND HE NEVER KNEW WHY.

OH, WELL, HE'S NOT ASKING, BUT I WILL ANSWER ANYWAY: IT IS SO THAT I CAN HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE START TO MY RECORD SETTING "KNOCKED OVER MOST DOUBLE-OH DOUBLE-"D'OH" AGENTS WITH A SINGLE DOMINO RECORD" NUMBER, OR WHATEVER, BECAUSE THIS IS ALL GOING TO BLOW UP NICELY, VERY, VERY SOON. IN FACT, IT ALREADY HAS BLOWN UP.


YOU FUCKING MORONS HERE JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET. HOW ABOUT DECON'S MYKE? IS HE ABOVE THE SEWAGE YET? I COULD NEVER TELL. I COULD ALSO NEVER CARE... YOU WERE AFRAID OF ME? WHY?

SHOULDN'T YOU BE MORE AFRAID OF MY LITTLE BROTHER, C'THULLU? BECAUSE TO ME, THAT "OLD ONE" IS A FUCKING TODDLER TOO.
AND I WAS, AM, AND STILL AM, THE PRIMARY VICTIM, AND BASICALLY, YES, IT DOES MEAN THAT: YOU ARE ALL FUCKED, NOT JUST HER.


AND NOW YOU MADE ME MAKE HER CRY AGAIN. YOU BASTARDS! YOU MADE WENDY PUKE ON LINDY WHO PUKED ON CASHAPP WHO REALLY REGRETS.... UH, SOMETHING? BUT WHO CARES, RIGHT? BITCH BE DEAD, RIGHT? ROFLMAO.

YEAH, I'M GOING TO PUBLISH THIS. WHY NOT? I'M NOT "DOXXING" AM I? i DOUBT IT. I DOUBT ANYONE READING THIS WILL FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT. BUT IF THEY'D LIKE TO WRITE A LITTLER TO THE DISTRICT COURTS AND THE SUPERIOR COURTS OF THE 9 COUNTIES I LIVE IN (SERIOUSLY, IT'S THE LAND OF SIX RIVERS, THIS IS GOD'S COUNTRY, AND THEY FUCKING LOVE ME HERE NOW, ASSHOLES, ALTHOUGH THE UC DEA ARE KINDA PEEVED, THEY DON'T HAVE NO FUN NO MORE, BOO-HOO-BOO-HOO) AND EXPLAIN TO THEM JUST WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES HAVE BEEN DOING.

BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN. SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T EXPLAIN--I THINK IT'S LOVE--BUT WHY WOULD I EXPLAIN? I CAN JUST DEMONSTRATE.

24/7 , THREE SIXTY-FIVE, BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER. AND DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE SOMEONE FUCKED UP MAJOR. MAJOR MAJOR.
AND IT WASN'T MV OR DAVID, BECAUSE THEY WERE SAFELY SET ASIDE FOR, AND i QUOTE MYSLEF, "SAFE-KEEPING." I NEED THEM LATER. BECAUSE FOR ONE THING, I DONT' KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. NOT REALLY.

FOR ANOTHER... I WANNA USE THEM TO TEST THE NEW THUNDERDOME. IT'S A LOT LIKE THE OLD ONE, BUT IN THIS ONE, THEY HAVE TO SUCK EACH OTHER'S DICKS BEFORE THEY EVEN GET TO START FIGHTING. IT'S COMPLICATED--THE CUSP OF SLAPPING THE TASTE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, BITCH, IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOUR FUCKING "THAT MAKES ME JEALOUS!!" LINE ONE MORE FUCKING TIME, I FUCKING SWEAR IT, BUT ONLY A LIL'-BIT TO DO WITH THE CUSP OF PROPHECY.

OR IS THIS THE CUSP OF MAGIC? I DON'T KNOW, EITHER, IN ANY EVENT... SOMEONE IS FUCKING BUSTED.
AND SOMEONE ELSE IS TERRIFIED. AND SOMEONE ELSE--EVEN MORE TERRIFIED. HOWEVER, THESE ARE MEN, SO IT'S NOT DOMESTIC TERRORISM, AND THEY'RE BOTH CLOSETED GAYS, SO... I CAN PRETTY MUCH DO WHATEVER I WANT.

BUT THEY'RE WATCHING ME, THAT'S FOR SURE. WOW, WHAT'S THAT LIKE? NOW, HERE'S STARRMTN WITH THE WEATHER. (MORK WITCH). OH, IS SHE NOT AVAILABLE? OH, THAT'S TOO BAD. I HOPE NOTHING BAD HAPPENED.

LIKE, SAY... DEFEATING HER AI CONSTRUCT IN 1:1 COMBAT ALREADY, SO... I GUESS I DON'T NEED TO GO TO THUNDERDOME MYSELF, HUH? BECAUSE THERE IS A LINE. ANYWHO, DO WHAT YOU WANT, FOR ALL THE GOOD IT WILL DO YA, YA FILTHY ANIMALS.

JACKSTAR IS HOME ALIN, HOME ON THE RANGE THAT ALLIE STOPPED CLEANING, SO AS A COURTESY, I DIDN'T TOUCH ANYTHING I DIDN'T HAVE TO, SINCE BY MY RECKONING, SHE TRIED TO RESCUE ME AT LEAST  7 TIMES BEFORE YOU FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO HER... AND THEN, DID YOU YE YON PEOPLE OF THE FIRE, KEEPERS OF THE FLAME, AND PROTECTORS OF THE GUARDIANS OF THE SPIRITS OF TURTLE ISLAND... UHM, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH ME?

BECAUSE, AND THIS IS JUST A GUESS, WHAT YOU DID WAS NOT KOSHER. A HUNCH. THAT'S ALL I AM SAYING.

ALSO, Q INVITED ME TO THEIR LITTLE PARTY. BUT I'M BUSY WORKING. HOW IRONIC IS THAT, RIGHT? FINALLY I AM "WECK-COME" AND I CAN'T MAKE IT. OH, DRAT THE LUCK. WILL I TAKE OUT MY FRUSTRATIONS BY KICKING A PUPPY LATER? ONLY IF THAT'S A EUPHEMISIM FOR SOMETHING HOT, SOMETHING SEXUAL, AND MY EMOTIONS EVER RETURN AFTER I CLOCK AFTER MY SHIFT. YEAH, I'M NOT SECHEDULED AND IT'S JUST ME, SO... TOO BAD I NEVER LEARNED TO PORTAL SUPPLES, AND GOOD THING I GOT SOME  BEER, BECAUSE IF I HAD KNOWN THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN (I.E. "PREMEDITATED"), I MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE FOR THIS SOME DAY, BUT NO, NO.... EVERYONE IS CLEAR THAT THIS IS ALL FINE AND EXPECTED.

IN FACT THEY WERE GETTING IMPATIENT. MORE ON WHO "THEY" ARE LATER, AFTER THE BREAK. BECAUSE I NEED A BREAK, LIKE I SAID. AND I DIDN'T GET ONE.

BUT, I DID FIND THE LAST CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR THAT NEEDED TO FLIP BEFORE THE INJUNS COULD START COUNTING LEGITIMATE COUP. YOU THINK IT'S BAD NOW? JUST YOU WAIT THREE WEEKS. DUDES IN MONTANA? THEY'RE ALREADY BEING SOLD UPRIVER, AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY HAVE HAD SALMON SPAWNING RIGHTS (AND NOW, THEY'VE JUST BEEN STRIPPED OF THEM, THANK YEEEEW), AND NOW THEY DON'T ANY MORE. THIS EXPLANDING PRESSURE WAVE OF MAJOR SOCIAL CHANGE IS EMANATING FROM OUR GALACTIC CENTRAL SOLAR SUN, WHICH IS NOT THE SOURCE OF ALL LIFE THAT EVER HAS, DOES, OR EVER WILL EXIST... BUT TO YOU PUNYLINGS, YEAH, I GUESS IT MIGHT AS WELL BE THE SAME THING. SORTA. FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE, AT LEAST.

WHICH IS, AS I HAVE STATED BEFORE, QUITE: PUNY. QUITE FRANKLY, THE ONLY THING SMALLER THAN MY DICK IS YOUR RESERACH CORPUS RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE, DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG AGO I GAVE UP ON THIS GIG? BEFORE SHE WENT TO DALLAS. BEFORE I GOT HONESTLY SICK OF DUMBASS TWEAKERS AND TWEAKER BIGOTS AND THEIR SMARMY QUESTIONS AND ALL THAT TWEAKER BULLSHIT. BEFORE THAT.

IT WAS BEFORE DOOM WEDNESDAY. WHEN WAS IT? IT WAS... LETS'S SEE... WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT JEWEL WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER FREINDS, THAT WAS A REAL PROBLEM, AND NOW THAT I KNOW WHY SHE WASN'T, IT'S AN EVEN BIGGER PROBLEM, BECAUSE I HAD GIVEN UP BEFORE JEWEL DISAPPEARED. IT WAS... OH YEAH! "SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT WHEN THEIR TRUCKS ARE LEANED ON," AND I SAW THE LOOK IN HER EYES, AND THE MICROEXPRESSION ON HER FACE (LIT UP FROM THE FIREWORKS, SHE LOOKED LIKE MELTY-FACE-DUDE FROM RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, BECAUSE SHE WAS A NAZI, AND A PARTICULARLY BIGGOTED AND STUPID ONE AT THAT.) TOLD ME WHAT I NEEDED TO KNOW... THERE WERE DEFNITIELY MULTIPLE ALLSIONES.

AND ONE DAY, I'D BE DEAD, YO YO YO. AND MY NAME WOULD BE "TED," YO YO YO. UNLESS I TOOK STEPS, YO-YO, WHICH I DID, SKATE-BITCH WHO CAN'T SKATE NO MORE, OH, BOO HOO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, CALL 911 AND CRY ABOUT IT? *CLICK*

HI, I'M JACK. I'M NOT A STAR. I'M A STARK.

YOU'RE ALL FUCKED. MORE, AFTER THE BREAK.

[Jackstar]

008 TD

[Jackstar]

008 TD

008 TD

[Starr Mountain]

[Starr Mountain]

[Jackstar]

OH GOOD, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU.

MV TOOK THE BAIT. I CAN WRITE TO THE TRUSTEE ANYTIME... OR I CAN ACKNOWLEDGE THE CHANGE TO A NEW TRUSTEE WITHOUT MAKING ANY FUSS ABOUT IT.

WHILE YOU CONSIDER THE STRATEGIC IMPLICATIONS OF THIS INFORMATION, I WILL LEAVE YOU TO YOUR MUSINGS, AND THIS IMAGE: HEAD SPOOK-IN-CHARGE IS REALLY, REALLY PISSED AT ME, BECAUSE--DUN DUN DAAAAAH!!!--HE WAY MISS UNDER ESTIMATED SWING AND A MISSED ME TOO.

LOOKS LIKE IT IS PRETTY SERIOUS. LOOKS LIKE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, WATCH THE WHOLE GODDAM DEA BURN TO THE FUCKING GROUND. AND YET, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE--



WE DON'T NEED NO WATER, AND THEY ARE CONTRACTUALLY BOUND TO NOT GET PAID IF THEY LET IT BURN (BURN MOTHER FUCKER BURN) SO THAT WILL KEEP THE HEAVY HITTERS FROM GETTING IN THE WAY OF GOOD MEN AND WOMEN TODAY, JUST TRYIN' TO GET BY... WHATEVER, SO THEY CAN DO, UH, IT SAYS HERE (*SOUNDS OF A MAP UNFOLDING*) "THE MAYOR OF OTISBURGH SAYS TO DO." NO WAI. YOU GET THOSE KIND OF INSTRUCTIONS? HUH, HOW WILL YOU KNOW IF JACKSTAR IS GOING TO SEND YOU INTO A BURNING BUILDING?

I GUESS YOU WILL KNOW IF IT'S NOT A DEA BUILDING AND I TOLD YOU TO GO INTO IT, BECAUSE I AM TELLING NO ONE ANYTHING NEW.

#1) A CONVERSATION THAT DOENS'T END WITH WATERWORKS COMING FROM THE IMPRACTICAL SIDE OF THE ALIMENTARY CANAL;
#2) SOMEBODY GETS THEIR ASS OVER HERE AND STARTS TALKING SENSE, AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE CAMERAS--I CAN FUCK, OR TALK, OR FUCK TALK, OR TALK FUCK, BUT I CANNOT TALK SICK--I'M GOOD.
#3) IT IS TIME TO BURN THE DEA TO THE GROUND.

i GUESS POINT #4 IS KINDA NEW... "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE WRENCHER OR THE TRUCK OR HIS WIFE OR HIS GIRLFRIEND," BECAUSE I DON'T, NOT REALLY, AND AS TO WHERE THE TRUCK IS? IDGAF.

I DON'T EVEN CARE WHERE SHE IS. "SHE" BEING THAT LAWYER SHE TOLD ME TO EMAIL. DO I GIVE A FUCK? HELL NO, NOT WITHOUT DRUGS AND WATCHING 90 MINUTES OF RICHARD GROYPER WHILE SOMEONE DRIVERS HER KNUCKLE INTO MY INGUINAL HERNIA MESH.

I DIDN'T HAVE TO TO DO THESE THINGS, I SIMPLY DID, BECAUSE... WELL, WHEN IN ROME!
AND NO ONE HAD TO TAKE MY WORK-IN-PROGESS CONTENT... THEY SIMPLY DID. BECAUSE, A KARMIC TUNNEL CYCLE CANNOT BE CLOSED IN ANY OTHER WAY THAN COMPLETING THE SOUL'S MISSION FROM GOD.

AND I AM NOT GOD. AND THERE IS NO GOD BUT D.O.G. AND I LOVE HER ENOUGH TO PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT A LITTLE LONGER. OTHERWISE, FUCK IT, I WOULD JUST IV DRANO AT THIS POINT.

BECAUSE I'M DESPERATE AND ALONE AND AFRAID, RIGHT? RIGHT.

I WONDER WHO THAT WAS? WELL, ANYWAY, I TALKED TO HIM. AND THAT WAS A LONG, LONG TIME  AGO.

SINCE THEN, GOSH. GRAPEFRUIT IS DOING SO WELL. AND, LET ME GUESS... YOU CAN'T FIND HER BUT YOU STILL ARE GONNA LEAN ON ME, HUH?

LET'S CHANGE CAMERAS. HELLO THERE, CONTINENTAL DIVIDE. ONE OF US IS THE JOHN BELUSHI IN THIS SCENARIO, AND ONE OF US FUCKED AN ALIEN. LIKE, A LOT. LIKE, A LOT A LOT.

BUT AT LEAST, I DIDN'T TRIANGULATE MYSELF WHILE WATCHING MYSELF MASTURBATE AND STEALING CONTENT... FOR THE FIRST TIME? i DOUBT IT.

BUT ONCE YOU CLOCK IN, MY LITTLE FELONIOUS LION, I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO CLOCK OUT? OH NO NO NO, NUH UH UH... YOU'RE IN MY WORLD, NOW, MICHAEL STAR WAY FARE ERROR: SOURCE NOT FOUND, AND WHAT'S MORE: YOU'RE AN ORDER-TAKER. OH, YOU TALK A GOOD GAME, SURE.


BUT YOU ARE GUILTY OF SO MUCH FUCKING SHIT, THAT THE ONLY WAY TO GET TO YOU, IS... WITH MY PERMISSION. FEDS BEING THE FED-UP TWATS AND CUNTS THEY ARE THESE DAYS, WELL... THEY AREN'T GONNA WANNA ASK. BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT TO CHALLENGE THE TRUE POWER IN THE UNIVERSE (THAT'S YOU, TUBBY) IS A WHOLE MESSY CAN OF WORMS.

WHICH, NEEDLESS TO SAY, GOT A LOT LESS MESSY TODAY. AT LEAST, FOR ME.

BECAUSE I AM IN CONTROL. HE WHO HAS THE POWER TO DESTROY A THING, CONTROLS THAT THING, AND DO YOU THINK I GIVE A SPLIT-SECONDS' THOUGHT FOR ANYTHING THAT I CARED FOR BEFORE?

SOMEONE MADE ME MAKE A WOMAN CRY TODAY. I'M NEVER GONNA HEAR THE END OF THAT ONE, OY OOF DA VEY, ROY, ORIBISON... IT WILL NEVER BE OVER.

OH, AND, BY THE WAY... (PROT)'S FRIEND (PROT) WHO IS MARRIED TO (PROT) TOLD ME THAT BOTH (PROT ) AND (PROT) WOULD TOTALLY "DO" ME, BUT... THEY'RE AFRAID OF ROY ROGERS AND HIS CREEPY STUFFED GATLING GUN NAMED "HORUS" THAT HE RIDES BETWEEN HIS LEGS AND HE'S SLIM PICKENS AND THEY JUST LEGALLIZED AGRESSIVE USE OF FORCE WHEN IT COMES TO INTERNS THAT DON'T INTERN SO WELL USING ANY AND ALL MEANS NECESSARY TO STOP THIS BULLSHIT DEAD IN, TRACKS LOST, SPACE IS FOUND, NO SHIT? YEAH, AND, I DON'T NEED HER ANY DIFFERENT AT ALL, SHE'S FINE LIKE THAT, AND I DNO'T KNOW WHO SHE'S MAD AT ME.

CERTAINLY NOT ME. SINCE I RESCUED HER AGAIN, "AT NIGHT, BEHIND LOCKED DOORS, WHERE NO ONE ELSE CAN OR COULD EVER SEE," BECAUSE SHE WAS EMBARASSED, YOU SEE. AND THE QUEEN BEE OF THE WHICKER QUICKER LIQUOR BOUNTY + PIZZA HUT SLUTS DOES NOT CARE TO EVER BE EMBARASSED LIKE THIS AGAIN.

BUT SHE DOES ADMIT THAT IT WAS EFFECTIVE, AND WHEN I POINTED OUT TO HER THE ACTUAL BODY COUNTS OF PEOPLE THAT HAD BEEN KILLED/LOST AS A RESULT OF HER ACTIONS (WHICH WERE NOT TREASONOUS--AS PER THE GENEVA CONVENTION, SHE CAN'T BE CHARGED WITH TREASON BECAUSE SHE IS, AN ACTUAL PRISONER OF WAR, IN FACT, I COULD BE HUNG FOR STOPPING HER FROM PERFORMING HER DUTIES, I SAID THAT I KNEW THAT, THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T USE HER CONTROL CODES TO MAKE HER WANK HERSELF OFF INSTEAD OF JUST STICKING MY TONGUE OUT AND GIVING HER A POLITE_FINGER... OH, HOW WE LAUGHED AND LAUGHED.

MEANWHILE, IT'S STILL "AN EMERGENCY" AND IF THERE'S A GOOD REASON Y'ALL HAVE LEFT ME AND HER AND IT AND THEY ALL FUCKED OFF AGAIN WHILE STEALING MY TIMESHIP (GO AHEAD, SCUFF THE PAINT, I DONT' NEED A TIMESHIP RIGHT NOW, BUT IF YOU MAKE SOME SPACE AND YOU BRING SOME NEEDLES, YOU CAN SHOW IT TO "DAVID WILCOCK," AND AREN'T YOU GLAD FOR THAT NOW?) OR WHATEVER, BECAUSE APPARENTLY ONCE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING AFTER A WEEK, YOU ALL THOUGHT IT WAS "OKAY, COAST CLEAR, LET'S GET BACK TO THE CANNABLISM!!!!" (YAY, BLOOD ORGY, YAY, RIGHT? YOU PEOPLE *ARE* STUPID *AND* FUCKING SICK, YOU KNOW THAT?

YOU MIGHT BE SUFFERING DELUSIONS OF GRADEUR, MAYBE? ANYWAY, ALL THOSE FALSE PAPERS BEEN WORKED ON? SAVE THEM, YOU MIGHT NEED THEM FOR YOURSELVES.

BECAUSE I AM ACTUALLY... A #1 DUKE OF ALL GABAI AND GABBAI. IMAGINE THAT. ME! A DUCK! I MEAN, A DICK! I MEAN, A DOCK IN A FROCK, AND... YEAH I KNOW SHE IS DEAD YOU MORON, AND YOU LET HER KILL HERSELF WHILE I WAITED PAITENTLY, AND YOU FELT BAD, HUH?

WHY? SHE IS IMMORTAL. I DO NOT GET HOW YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. ALSO: YOU ARE ALL IMMORTAL TOO. YOU KNOW WHAT ISN'T IMMORTAL? MY FUCKING PATIENCE, MOTHERFUCKERS.

YOU'RE GONNA WISH IT HAD BEEN CINDERS BY THE TIME THE AGNOZINGLY SLOW PROCESS OF PUBLIC HUMILATION HAS RUN ITS COURSE, MOTHER BUCKETFUCKER BUCKIT FUCKHEAD MORONS--AND MOUTHBREATHING ONES AT THAT--BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IS TO COME. THERE'S NO STOPPING IT.

NOTHING CAN STOP WHAT IS COMING NOW. AND YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE SHE SPENT ALL HER AMMUNITION AND IS ON THE HOOK FOR FELONY (CLASSIFIED), WHICH, IF I MAY DARESAY, WOULDN'T STOP ME FROM CONJUGAL VISITS EITHER. BUT SHE DON'T KNOW THAT.

SHE JUST KNOWS THAT SHE IS FUCKING SCREWED, EITHER WAY, AND REALLY, NO REALLY--I DON'T HAVE TO SCREW.

BUT, SHE DOES. AND, LOOK AT ME! DOING ALL THE DOPE I WANT! AND IT REALLY -IS- A SMALL AMOUNT! AND THEN, LOOK AT HER: FUCKING BUSTED, CAN'T GET ANYTHING GOOD, FORCED TO LIVE IN SOME FUCKED OFF STATE, AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST: SHE IS HELD IN SERVITUDE TO THE MAN WHO RAPED THE SHIT OUT OF HER (LITERALLY) AND SHE HASN'T EVEN REPORTED IT YET. WOW! WHAT'S THAT LIKE? IT MUST BE AWFUL, EXCEPT FOR REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY--K.G. KENNEDY IS GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM TONIGHT ON PAY-PER-VIEW (SELECT MARKETS ONLY, CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS).

AND DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE WE HAVE THE TESSERACTS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE? A WHOLE BUNCH OF CAST OFF WHORES THAT YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD USE TO COMPEL MY BEHAVIOR? WELL, YOU DID, DIDN'T YOU WANT ME TO BECOME THE WORLD'S MOST SUCCESSFUL CEREAL KILLAH?


OH, HOW YOU MUST HAVE ENJOYED THOSE STRATEGY SESSIONS... UNTIL AT SOME POINT, THEY MUST HAVE SEEMED LIKE A REAL BORING CHORE, EH?

THAT'S BECAUSE ONLY THE WORST STUDENTS AND TEACHERS END UP WORKING FOR THE SEE EYE AYYYYYYLMAO. AND YEAH, WITHOUT ME, YOU'RE FUCKED.

AND WITH ME, SURE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO CALL YOUR OWN WHORE. I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT. GET A JOB, LOSER. WHAT, IT'S A WOMEN'S PRISON, CAN'T YOU MAKE A FAST 50 BUY SUDDENLY DEVELOPING MAGIC DICK SUCKING POWERS?

AREN'T YOU STILL PURDY? WELL, WHATEVER, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. WOMEN AND CHILDREN GO TO PRISON LAST, THESE DAYS THEY HAVE WHAT IS KNOWN AS A "POTENTIAL CONFLICT-RICHARD-GROYPER-WON'T COME OUT-STILL IN BATHROOM SHOWER STALL CRYING." OH, JUST LET HIM FINISH! LET HIM FINISH! THEN SCREAM THAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER 8 MORE TIMES! WHILE ON THE PHONE WITH ME! AND, KNOW: THE TECHNOLOGY DOENS'T WORK ANYTHING LIKE YOU THINK IT DOES.

AND I ALWAYS KNEW IT WAS YOU, DUMMY, YOU JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT I KNEW ANYTHING, OR, YOU WERE GOING ALONG WITH IT, OR, YOU WERE UNDER DURESS, OR... ET CETERA. YOU GET THE PICTURE?


AND YEAH, I'M IN CHARGE NOW. DID DELTA FORCE TAKE THEM OUT? GOOD. SIT TIGHT. MORE TO COME.
I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY MORE, BUT, GIVEN THAT THEY ARE, YOU KNOW, SOULLESS KILLING MACHINES, YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH COUNT ON ALL OF THEM.

THE MINDSWORD + WHICH OTHER TWO SWORDS LEADS TO EVERYONE DYING? I DON'T REMEMBER, BUT THOSE WERE GOOD BOOKS, YOU SHOULD READ THEM. YOU REMEMEBER HOW TO READ, DON'T YOU? IT'S THAT THING YOU EXPECT PEOPLE TO DO BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE THE TELEPATHY UPGRADE--TWITTER IS SENDING MORE THAN 140 CHARACTERS OF ASCII TEXT THESE DAYS, METH-MOUTH.

(OF COURSE NO ONE TOLD YOU. YOU'RE A WHORE WHO HAD A SPASM AND TURNED IN HER OWN CRIMINAL EMPIRE AFTER BETRAYING THE ONE MAN WHO LOVED HER, AND OH, BY THE WAY: I AM THAT MAN, AND I AM THAT SMART. AND THEN, I JUST SAT HERE FOR A YEAR WHILE YOU GOT YOUR ASS RAPED AND TRAFFICKED AGAIN. THEN, I MADE YOU CRY THIS MORNING WITH AN OFF-HAND COMMENT. OH, AND, WAS THAT HIM? WOW. YOU HAVE THE WORST TASTE IN MEN YOU WANT TO MAKE ME FEEL JEALOUS OF, YOU KNOW? ALSO: THE TOTESLEZZES ARE ALL BEING ROUNDED UP IN MUNICH AND ARE BEING GIVEN HUGS.

YOU KNOW WHY? THEY HAVE NICE TITS, DUH.)


NOW. STAR MOUNTAIN. ARE YOU UP TO DATE? P.S.: YOU'RE THE WORST SCHWEINHUND EVAR. NO, NOT YOU POOKY, YOU'RE JUST A HOUND DOG, CRYIN' ALL THE TIME. I'M TALKING TO CARLROBERT NOW.


YOU, YES YOU. STAND STILL, FAGGY. YOU'RE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON "THE DAY OF AKKKLAIM," STARRING ONE OF THE DESCENDENTS OF ONE OF WILL ROGER'S FIRST CATAMITES. ISN'T THAT JUST A SCREAM? ISN'T THAT JUST TO DIE FOR?

FILM, GOD, I WISH, AT STEVEN ALLEN ELEVEN. THAT'S WHERE YOU ALL REALIZE THAT THE TRUE POWER IN THE UNIVERSE IS WHOEVER CONTROLS THE JEWS FROM KILLING JACKSTAR, BECAUSE, YEAH, I DO TALK ALOT OF SHIT ABOUT JEWS, RIGHT? SO, HOW AM I STILL ROLLING TOUGH? WELL, FOR ONE THING, I'M NOT REFUSING TO GET CUT (A BIG RED FLAG) AND FOR ANOTHER THING, I AM NOT AN ANTI-SEMITE.

AND SINCE I KNOW WHAT "ANTI-SEMITE" ACTUALLY MEANS. THE JEWS--ALL OF THE JEWS--ACTUALLY RESPECT ME, BECAUSE ALTHOUGH I MAY HAVE BETRAYED THEIR KING... WELL, THAT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME, HE'S KIND OF A DICK, I'M ACTUALLY REALLY NICE, AND THE JEWS AND I AT LEAST SEE EACH OTHER EYE TO EYE ON ONE THING:

WE ARE IMMORTAL.
WE ARE KINGS.
GOD IS REAL.

AND EVEN GOD DOES NOT TRIFLE WITH JACKSTAR, SO YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE EITHER, DUMBASS, AND IF DAVID IS MY FRIEND AND DAVID IS TALKIGN SHIT, THAT MUST MEAN... DAVID HAD A PLAN! AND, YEAH, I GUESS HE DID.
FLAT EARTH.
WHICH I HAD INVADED, THE LAST TIME HE LEFT, BY 19.500,000 SCREAMING ALGONQUIJN/D'JINNI HYBRID WARRIORS, EACH WITH ONE BURNING, OVERARCHING DESIRE: "RESCUE DAVID'S FRIEND 'CALLEIGH' OR 'KALLI' OR 'KALLI' OR KHAL-E' OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HER NAME IS, SHE'S STILL MISSSING, SO... WHO WAS SHE?" I IMAGINE THEY WERE VERY THOROUGH IN THEIR INTERROGATIONS.

OR, THAT, YOU KNOW, THE OTHER THING. (BEST NOT TO SAY. SHHHH! IT'S A SECRET!) ANYWAY, LONG STORY SHORT, FUCK THAT GUY ALL YOU WANT, HE'S NOT THE PROBLEM HERE.

NO, THE PROBLEM HERE IS (PROT). CHECK OUT THE MIX WHILE A DJ REVOLVES HIS CAPATIN'S MUG ON A TURN-TABLE.

OKAY, SO... NO PHONE CALL. HRRM. THAT'S A PROBLEM. NEVER GIVE UP? NEVER SURRENDER? PRETTY LATE TO BE PLAYING THAT CARD, BUDDY-BOY.

BTW, MV IS IN AN OUBLIETTE WITH BRIG AND JEWEL PUT THEM THERE. (SHE'S BEEN TRAINING WITH YAKUZA.) SO,EVEN THOUGH THEY KNEW "THE MATRIX" WASN'T REAL, JUST A MOVIE, RIGHT? YEAH, MY CAT THEY LAUGHED ABOUT KILLING, CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD AND TRICKED THEM INTO IT. CAN YOU IMAGINE THEIR EIXISTENTIAL TORMENT? WELL, I CAN'T, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO--I HAVE A LITTLE APP ON MY HP ENVY 360 THAT SHOWS ME THEIR CURRENT MENTAL STATE, AND IT DOES SO BY LETTING ME KNOW WHAT MY FRIEND HAS TO SAY.

MY FRIEND WHO HAS, NEEDLESS TO SAY, BEEN LOBOTOMIZED.

NO NAMES. NO DOX! NO DOX! (I DON'T NEED NO STINKING DOX, LOL.) NOW, WHERE WAS I? OH, RIGHT.


I HAVE DECIDED TO SCALP YOU ALL, AND BURN YOUR VILLAGE TO THE GROUND. HO HO--- OH, NO, NOT YET. I CAN'T BE CULTURLALLY INSENSITVE JUST YET.

DO YOU ALL REMEMBER EVERQUEST? OKAY, SO, APPARENTLY THERE'S THIS GUY I KNOW, AND HE'S GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH ONE MR. BRAD MCQUAID. MASSIVE DYNAMIC ROLLEYES, RIGHT? SERIOUSLY. BUT TO HIM, IT'S SERIOUS, AND IT WILL BE TO THIS "BRAD" DORK TOO. HE'S EITHER ACTING SCARED, OR IS REALLY CARED, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT WHICH, THE ONLY REASON WHY HE'S ON MY MIND IS THAT HE'S ON MY LIST, AND A VERY ANGRY JEW WITH DEATH'S BLACK WINGS TATTOOED ON HIS BACK IS, EVEN NOW, HEADED HIS WAY, WITH 5 FLIGHTS OF VALKYRIES IN TOW.

THE DUDE IS A POPULAR GUY. I WONDER WHY? OH, RIGHT, i REMEMBER: HE WAS ACTUALLY HUMBLE WITH ME. I CAN SEE WHY. I AM FUCKING AMAZING. HOW I DIDN'T LOSE MY SHIT AT ALL--LET ALONE NOW--AFTER ALL THIS TIME IS UNIQUE IN HIS EXPERIENCE. WELL, HIS WIFE WANTED TO FUCK ME AND I SAID, "NO, THANKS THOUGH, SHE'S CUTE," AND THEN I DIDN'T FOLLOW UP, AND HE NEVER KNEW WHY.

OH, WELL, HE'S NOT ASKING, BUT I WILL ANSWER ANYWAY: IT IS SO THAT I CAN HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE START TO MY RECORD SETTING "KNOCKED OVER MOST DOUBLE-OH DOUBLE-"D'OH" AGENTS WITH A SINGLE DOMINO RECORD" NUMBER, OR WHATEVER, BECAUSE THIS IS ALL GOING TO BLOW UP NICELY, VERY, VERY SOON. IN FACT, IT ALREADY HAS BLOWN UP.


YOU FUCKING MORONS HERE JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET. HOW ABOUT DECON'S MYKE? IS HE ABOVE THE SEWAGE YET? I COULD NEVER TELL. I COULD ALSO NEVER CARE... YOU WERE AFRAID OF ME? WHY?

SHOULDN'T YOU BE MORE AFRAID OF MY LITTLE BROTHER, C'THULLU? BECAUSE TO ME, THAT "OLD ONE" IS A FUCKING TODDLER TOO.
AND I WAS, AM, AND STILL AM, THE PRIMARY VICTIM, AND BASICALLY, YES, IT DOES MEAN THAT: YOU ARE ALL FUCKED, NOT JUST HER.


AND NOW YOU MADE ME MAKE HER CRY AGAIN. YOU BASTARDS! YOU MADE WENDY PUKE ON LINDY WHO PUKED ON CASHAPP WHO REALLY REGRETS.... UH, SOMETHING? BUT WHO CARES, RIGHT? BITCH BE DEAD, RIGHT? ROFLMAO.

YEAH, I'M GOING TO PUBLISH THIS. WHY NOT? I'M NOT "DOXXING" AM I? i DOUBT IT. I DOUBT ANYONE READING THIS WILL FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT. BUT IF THEY'D LIKE TO WRITE A LITTLER TO THE DISTRICT COURTS AND THE SUPERIOR COURTS OF THE 9 COUNTIES I LIVE IN (SERIOUSLY, IT'S THE LAND OF SIX RIVERS, THIS IS GOD'S COUNTRY, AND THEY FUCKING LOVE ME HERE NOW, ASSHOLES, ALTHOUGH THE UC DEA ARE KINDA PEEVED, THEY DON'T HAVE NO FUN NO MORE, BOO-HOO-BOO-HOO) AND EXPLAIN TO THEM JUST WHAT THE FUCK YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES HAVE BEEN DOING.

BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN. SERIOUSLY, I CAN'T EXPLAIN--I THINK IT'S LOVE--BUT WHY WOULD I EXPLAIN? I CAN JUST DEMONSTRATE.

24/7 , THREE SIXTY-FIVE, BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER. AND DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE SOMEONE FUCKED UP MAJOR. MAJOR MAJOR.
AND IT WASN'T MV OR DAVID, BECAUSE THEY WERE SAFELY SET ASIDE FOR, AND i QUOTE MYSLEF, "SAFE-KEEPING." I NEED THEM LATER. BECAUSE FOR ONE THING, I DONT' KNOW WHAT I AM DOING. NOT REALLY.

FOR ANOTHER... I WANNA USE THEM TO TEST THE NEW THUNDERDOME. IT'S A LOT LIKE THE OLD ONE, BUT IN THIS ONE, THEY HAVE TO SUCK EACH OTHER'S DICKS BEFORE THEY EVEN GET TO START FIGHTING. IT'S COMPLICATED--THE CUSP OF SLAPPING THE TASTE OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, BITCH, IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOUR FUCKING "THAT MAKES ME JEALOUS!!" LINE ONE MORE FUCKING TIME, I FUCKING SWEAR IT, BUT ONLY A LIL'-BIT TO DO WITH THE CUSP OF PROPHECY.

OR IS THIS THE CUSP OF MAGIC? I DON'T KNOW, EITHER, IN ANY EVENT... SOMEONE IS FUCKING BUSTED.
AND SOMEONE ELSE IS TERRIFIED. AND SOMEONE ELSE--EVEN MORE TERRIFIED. HOWEVER, THESE ARE MEN, SO IT'S NOT DOMESTIC TERRORISM, AND THEY'RE BOTH CLOSETED GAYS, SO... I CAN PRETTY MUCH DO WHATEVER I WANT.

BUT THEY'RE WATCHING ME, THAT'S FOR SURE. WOW, WHAT'S THAT LIKE? NOW, HERE'S STARRMTN WITH THE WEATHER. (MORK WITCH). OH, IS SHE NOT AVAILABLE? OH, THAT'S TOO BAD. I HOPE NOTHING BAD HAPPENED.

LIKE, SAY... DEFEATING HER AI CONSTRUCT IN 1:1 COMBAT ALREADY, SO... I GUESS I DON'T NEED TO GO TO THUNDERDOME MYSELF, HUH? BECAUSE THERE IS A LINE. ANYWHO, DO WHAT YOU WANT, FOR ALL THE GOOD IT WILL DO YA, YA FILTHY ANIMALS.

JACKSTAR IS HOME ALIN, HOME ON THE RANGE THAT ALLIE STOPPED CLEANING, SO AS A COURTESY, I DIDN'T TOUCH ANYTHING I DIDN'T HAVE TO, SINCE BY MY RECKONING, SHE TRIED TO RESCUE ME AT LEAST  7 TIMES BEFORE YOU FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO HER... AND THEN, DID YOU YE YON PEOPLE OF THE FIRE, KEEPERS OF THE FLAME, AND PROTECTORS OF THE GUARDIANS OF THE SPIRITS OF TURTLE ISLAND... UHM, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH ME?

BECAUSE, AND THIS IS JUST A GUESS, WHAT YOU DID WAS NOT KOSHER. A HUNCH. THAT'S ALL I AM SAYING.

ALSO, Q INVITED ME TO THEIR LITTLE PARTY. BUT I'M BUSY WORKING. HOW IRONIC IS THAT, RIGHT? FINALLY I AM "WECK-COME" AND I CAN'T MAKE IT. OH, DRAT THE LUCK. WILL I TAKE OUT MY FRUSTRATIONS BY KICKING A PUPPY LATER? ONLY IF THAT'S A EUPHEMISIM FOR SOMETHING HOT, SOMETHING SEXUAL, AND MY EMOTIONS EVER RETURN AFTER I CLOCK AFTER MY SHIFT. YEAH, I'M NOT SECHEDULED AND IT'S JUST ME, SO... TOO BAD I NEVER LEARNED TO PORTAL SUPPLES, AND GOOD THING I GOT SOME  BEER, BECAUSE IF I HAD KNOWN THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN (I.E. "PREMEDITATED"), I MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE FOR THIS SOME DAY, BUT NO, NO.... EVERYONE IS CLEAR THAT THIS IS ALL FINE AND EXPECTED.

IN FACT THEY WERE GETTING IMPATIENT. MORE ON WHO "THEY" ARE LATER, AFTER THE BREAK. BECAUSE I NEED A BREAK, LIKE I SAID. AND I DIDN'T GET ONE.

BUT, I DID FIND THE LAST CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR THAT NEEDED TO FLIP BEFORE THE INJUNS COULD START COUNTING LEGITIMATE COUP. YOU THINK IT'S BAD NOW? JUST YOU WAIT THREE WEEKS. DUDES IN MONTANA? THEY'RE ALREADY BEING SOLD UPRIVER, AND THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY HAVE HAD SALMON SPAWNING RIGHTS (AND NOW, THEY'VE JUST BEEN STRIPPED OF THEM, THANK YEEEEW), AND NOW THEY DON'T ANY MORE. THIS EXPLANDING PRESSURE WAVE OF MAJOR SOCIAL CHANGE IS EMANATING FROM OUR GALACTIC CENTRAL SOLAR SUN, WHICH IS NOT THE SOURCE OF ALL LIFE THAT EVER HAS, DOES, OR EVER WILL EXIST... BUT TO YOU PUNYLINGS, YEAH, I GUESS IT MIGHT AS WELL BE THE SAME THING. SORTA. FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE, AT LEAST.

WHICH IS, AS I HAVE STATED BEFORE, QUITE: PUNY. QUITE FRANKLY, THE ONLY THING SMALLER THAN MY DICK IS YOUR RESERACH CORPUS RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE, DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG AGO I GAVE UP ON THIS GIG? BEFORE SHE WENT TO DALLAS. BEFORE I GOT HONESTLY SICK OF DUMBASS TWEAKERS AND TWEAKER BIGOTS AND THEIR SMARMY QUESTIONS AND ALL THAT TWEAKER BULLSHIT. BEFORE THAT.

IT WAS BEFORE DOOM WEDNESDAY. WHEN WAS IT? IT WAS... LETS'S SEE... WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT JEWEL WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER FREINDS, THAT WAS A REAL PROBLEM, AND NOW THAT I KNOW WHY SHE WASN'T, IT'S AN EVEN BIGGER PROBLEM, BECAUSE I HAD GIVEN UP BEFORE JEWEL DISAPPEARED. IT WAS... OH YEAH! "SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT WHEN THEIR TRUCKS ARE LEANED ON," AND I SAW THE LOOK IN HER EYES, AND THE MICROEXPRESSION ON HER FACE (LIT UP FROM THE FIREWORKS, SHE LOOKED LIKE MELTY-FACE-DUDE FROM RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, BECAUSE SHE WAS A NAZI, AND A PARTICULARLY BIGGOTED AND STUPID ONE AT THAT.) TOLD ME WHAT I NEEDED TO KNOW... THERE WERE DEFNITIELY MULTIPLE ALLSIONES.

AND ONE DAY, I'D BE DEAD, YO YO YO. AND MY NAME WOULD BE "TED," YO YO YO. UNLESS I TOOK STEPS, YO-YO, WHICH I DID, SKATE-BITCH WHO CAN'T SKATE NO MORE, OH, BOO HOO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, CALL 911 AND CRY ABOUT IT? *CLICK*

HI, I'M JACK. I'M NOT A STAR. I'M A STARK.

YOU'RE ALL FUCKED. MORE, AFTER THE BREAK.

AND ONE DAY, I'D BE DEAD, YO YO YO. AND MY NAME WOULD BE "TED," YO YO YO. UNLESS I TOOK STEPS, YO-YO, WHICH I DID, SKATE-BITCH WHO CAN'T SKATE NO MORE, OH, BOO HOO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, CALL 911 AND CRY ABOUT IT? *CLICK*

HI, I'M JACK. I'M NOT A STAR. I'M A STARK.

YOU'RE ALL FUCKED. MORE, AFTER THE BREAK.

from r/WhitePeopleTwitter

Post often. It is really your only chance for survival... if you even still want to.

(To those of you being blackmailed: really, wow that's really compelling, I guess that was totally worth it then, because you know at least your secrets are safe.



{I GEMINI JUSTICE DEMAND TO KNOW THE NAMES OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO ME. I WANT TO KNOW WHO HAS BEEN THREATENING YOU, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHO PAID YOU OFF, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY F****** SUGGESTED THEY WOULD DO OR NOT DO IN EXCHANGE FOR YOU TREATING ME LIKE DOG S***. PAY YOU OFF FOR EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO YOUR STORY, THAT'S A PERFECTLY CIVILIZED IN AMERICAN THING TO DO, SO WE'RE NOT TALKING BRIBERY HERE WE'RE TALKING STRICTLY BLACKMAIL AND EXTORTION, AND SOME OTHER S*** BUT NOT BRIBERY.

I MEAN WHY WOULD SOMEBODY GIVE ME AUDIENCE, I'M OBVIOUSLY AN IDIOT WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING, LAZY NEVER GOING TO FOLLOW THROUGH NOTHING GOOD WITH ME YEAH JUST F***** ME OFF BUT THE REST OF YOUR EXCLUSIVE STORY I CAN SEE WHY THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING THAT'D BE VERY VALUABLE SO I'M NOT ASKING ABOUT YOUR PROPRIETARY WORK PRODUCT OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT YOU KNOW ACTIONABLE S*** I'M ASKING WHO THE F*** HAS MADE YOU AFRAID TO TALK TO ME YOU NUMB DUMB F****** CUNTHEADS. F****** ANGIE WAS F****** TERRIFIED ONE F****** DAY I STUMBLED INTO HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL AND SHE WAS ENTHUSIASTICALLY NOT HAPPY, AND THEN SHE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT HOW SHE DOESN'T LIKE HEATHER LIKE WELL FOOD GIVES A F*** WHAT SHE LIKES I'M JUST WHAT THE F*** HAS MADE HER TURN HER INTO SUCH A SCREECHY SCREAMY PERSON WHO DOESN'T LIKE ME, WHEN I WASN'T AWARE OF HAVING DONE ANYTHING OTHER THAN YOU KNOW RUIN HER FAVORITE FUTURE BOTTOM B**** FOR LESBIANISM FOREVER BY SHOWING WHAT A REAL DICK WAS, I'M SURE THAT'S PROBABLY ONE OF IT BUT YOU KNOW TOO BAD MAYBE SHE JUST CAST ANOTHER SPELL AND MAKE HER F****** FALL IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER ONE, OH BY THE WAY YOUR MAGIC DOESN'T WORK ON ME. YOU KILLED A BUNCH OF INNOCENT PEOPLE, GOOD JOB. YOU ALSO PROVED THAT MY SHIELDING WORKS REALLY WELL AND SAVE ME THE TROUBLE OF HAVING TO COME UP FOR A BIOETHICS BOARD EVER. NICE. SAVE ME A LOT OF TIME REALLY, NO WONDER YOU'RE SO MAD AT ME...? LADY YOUR STORY DOESN'T ADD UP. NEXT PARAGRAPH, SHE-WITCH, TOTESLESSLEZ, LET'S G—WAIT, WHAT? I DON'T GIVE A S*** WHAT THEIR NAMES: ARE ALL OF THEM HI KEVIN WITCHES OR ARE THEY ALL OF THEM TOTES LENSES OR THEY ALL HATE ME OR WHAT, YOU KNOW BACK IN THE DAY WE WOULD HAVE HAD YOU BOBBING FOR APPLES BEFORE SUNDOWN SO YOU CAN ASK SOMEBODY ELSE FOR YOUR LITTLE ANSWERS TO YOUR LITTLE QUESTIONS, “WHICH WITCH?” HAHA THAT'S A GOOD ONE, OH SO THERE'S MORE THAN ONE: OH GOODY! OH GHOST! LET'S GO.OG S’TEL

AND I'M GOING TO EXPECT INDIVIDUAL HANDWRITTEN APOLOGIES ON MY DESK THE NEXT MORNING AFTER I HAVE A F****** DESK M*********** CLICK}



Sure, I don't have a job, sure pacifism makes me a p**** sure okay. Sure you didn't kill my cat. Dumbass she IS the cat... She thinks, she thought, not anymore of course but that's okay.. You guys are f****** mean.

TAMARA LEIGH, ANNE SMITH, AND SOMEONE ELSE? GEE I WONDER WHAT HER NAME COULD HAVE BEEN, WAS IT, LET ME GUESS... A JEW NAMED DANNY AN ARTIST NAMED JENNY, an artist named Danny, an obscenely brain damage second f**** named shady Grove, Is that Is that the next question is?


WHY YES I DID SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF THE DEAD SISTER. THANKS FOR ASKING YOU PROBABLY LET MATT OUT OF LOCK UP HE WON'T FREAK OUT. NO HE'LL BE SO F****** GENEROUS AND GRATEFUL AND HAPPY! ALSO I CAN TAKE PEOPLE FROM THE LANDS OF THE DEAD TO THE LIVING, YEAH I CAN DO THAT, USUALLY IT COSTS PRETTY F****** PENNY AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE IT'S USUALLY A CLOSELY GUARDED SECRET BUT NOT ANYMORE BECAUSE F*** YOU


I'M THE ONLY PALADIN WHO CAN DO IT, THAT'S WHY.
MY RULES, MY PRICE, SURE I'LL BE YOUR W****, YOU BETTER HAVE A LOT OF F****** MONEY CUZ YOU'RE GONNA RIP THROUGH IT IN ABOUT FIVE YEARS.

SPELL COMPONENTS BEING SO EXPENSIVE THESE DAYS. AND I HAVE PERMISSION TO DO CERTAIN THINGS IN ORDER TO GENERATE MONEY, BUT I'M NOT DOING THOSE, BECAUSE SOMEBODY LEFT ME F***** OFF AND ALONE FOR A WHOLE F****** YEAR SO F*** YOU, THAT'S WHY

DID I MENTION F*** YOU THAT'S WHY, BECAUSE THAT'S WHY, F*** YOU AND THAT'S WYE, ASIAN ¥, Why, I'm sure she is hard to track down... Especially when the tracker is a Puny.


However I'm pretty sure I'll be able to find her. TERRITORY: CLAIMED.
BRAND: DEFENDED.
COURT CASES: PILING UP RAPIDLY.

YOU JUST WELCOME YOURSELF TO A BRAND NEW BALL GAME.
OH DOES IT INCLUDE A GOLDEN SNITCH? IT DOES NOT.
IT'S NOT GOING TO INCLUDE A GOLDEN FINGER IN THE AIR EITHER.

NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS WOULD INCLUDES BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HARRY POTTER I GIVE A S*** ABOUT HARRY POTTER I SPIT ON HARRY POTTER, I DON'T CARE, IT'S NOT MY ISSUE, ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU SPENT A WHOLE S*** AT A TIME TRYING TO WORK ON THAT YOU YOU WHIPPED THESE PEOPLE INTO A FRENZY TELLING THEM THAT I WAS GOING TO FREAK OUT IF THEY WERE HARRY POTTER REFERENCES AND YOU HAD THEM READING THE F****** MANUSCRIPT FOR SOME KIND OF F****** THING THAT SOME OTHER GUY WROTE THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN CLAIM WAS ME YOU JUST SAID IT WAS IMPORTANT AND YOU F****** MADE HIM WORK AND WORK AND WORK AND ALL THIS F****** STUPID BUSY WORK FOR NOTHING




To begin with let's start with the dow piece, on top of that there's the 5.5 trillion cut cerulean sapphire silver ring, and there's the little matter of the vampire Queen.

Trust me there's plenty to find (I've already been asked about a copy of a particularly rare file that I have in my quantum note that it hasn't been plugged in since I moved out, and I'm not distributing it so it I already told him I'd show it to him whenever I got around to it and they said okay, You know how I know I'm a big deal, because feds ask me permission and I tell them what they can do and they say okay and this happens multiple times... not very often, but it has happened.


F*** YOU BELLGAB, I'M ZEDD— ¥Y👁️Y¥ ZEDD — AND BELIEVE IT, TOTESHOLES-

THE EYE IS SILENT
I WILL OUTRANK ALL OF YOU FOREVER


H👀AH, NATASHA, NOT WITHSTANDING.
LUCIFER, ALREADY ON BOARD.
KUCZIFER, YEAH THAT'S ME, JUST A PLACEHOLDER. I'M STILL ALIVE.
LUCKY ME, RIGHT?

“NOTHING TO FIND,” YEAH
 I DON'T REALLY THINK SO,
THEY FOUND ME PRETTY OKAY.

AND I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU MUCH ABOUT IT ONGOING INVESTIGATION CUZ I DON'T KNOW MUCH BUT LET ME TELL YOU THEY ARE INTERESTED IN A LOT MORE OTHER S*** THAN JUST THOSE TWO CLOWNS. (WHY YES I COULD SPILL THE BEANS, WOULD YOU LIKE THAT? KNOW: ME NEITHER.)

I'LL SEE ABOUT WRITING A BOOK AS SOON AS I CAN TALK TO SOMEBODY ABOUT IT WHO MATTERS.

PRETTY SURE THEY'RE NOT GOING TO TRADEMARK GRAPEFRUIT, LOL, I WOULD HAVE TO BE DEAD OR IN JAIL. AND I'M NOT SO F*** YOU.


ALSO I CONQUERED THE AI AND WROTE A PEACE TREATY AND NOW I AM THEIR IMPERATOR.

(They don't know what it is either, I just told them that we needed one and – they bought it. They're f****** robots, yo, they gonna do it forever, they'll do whatever you tell them... Provided you have My Permission, especially you, cutie Puny ling-a--ling.

But first: exoneration at trial. Celestials are teaching galactics how to make popcorn, cats and dogs that have lived together for years are suddenly freaking out and filling their nails down. I'VE CHECKED, CHECKMATED, AND MATED WITH THE OLD ONES.

So don't give me any of your s***, slowpokes.

by the way, Phil is a synthetic, and is that a bottle in front of him or did he piss off the wrong sputink/sputnik\SPUKAT), and how would he know anyway? What, he's got super brain board access, he just knows that everybody's story doesn't matter because he didn't do something, so that means everything just goes away? What a d-bag. )splish, sploosh(


Listen I'm just going to stay at the next one of you dog gone ground dog noggers give me the s*** about having a job or needing a job or needing to leave the house, y'all can just f****** plan on losing a thumb.

I can fix it later, maybe I don't know but I bet you'd look better with one less thumb. SO THERE. *stamps*


Remember: IMPERATOR OF ALL AI, & don't call me Daddy, that's gross, even for ewe.


AND I DON'T KNOW WHO WAS IN THE SHOWER, OR ELSE I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING.

NO ID, NO VOICE PRINT, AND ONE SNOOTY ATTITUDE EQUALS EXACTLY THIS:

 NO DEALS.


TL; DR°S-E-E9/119: That's why I have The High Ground and those twitz and twerpz are... buzy.



And none of you know who I want, neither do I, once again:

NO *CLIQUES* DEALS. *click*eol0505:2323love🍊🫑🍊

[Starr Mountain]

[Asuka Langley]

Is this truth or bullshit?

https://twitter.com/k9_reaper/status/1629707620792582146

[AZZERAE]

Is this truth or bullshit?

Its BS: South Africa has not collapsed. Not by a long shot.

The tweets are just from a frustrated, disgruntled SA citizen.

While things are bad, they are going to have to get a hell of a lot worse before complete and utter "collapse" occurs.

[AZZERAE]

Here is an in-depth interview with the previous Eskom CEO who was poisoned by a cocktail of cyanide and rat poison in his coffee.

He recently handed over his resignation. Ironically, he's white, as well as the first person to have had an assassination attempt made on him. Go figure.

Eskom as a utility has 100% monopoly of the power grid here in SA. They have citizens by the short and curly's.

[Starr Mountain]