Can I phone a friend?
Brother, where were you were going, You didn't need a friend of the world to be in it with you, but I do appreciate the invitation, but I regretfully decline.
YOU ARE IN MY WORLD NOW, ONAN—SAUCE.
Is it really him!?
Click around and find out. "(CENSORED—
BLANK HUM
BLANK HIM
BLANK ME IN THE ASS, BABY, BLANK ME IN THE ASS, JUST KEEP YOUR RECEIPTS, IT'S ON THE TAB OF THE RIGHTEOUS, IT'S ON THE TAB OF THE TEMPLARS, PAYMENT GUARANTEED BY CHESTER, KING OF THE CHEATERS.
YOU THOUGHT I COULDN'T DO IT.
WELL, CARE FOR DOUBLE OR NOTHING?
IT'S SHOWTIME. IT'S NOT HBQ.
("OKAY F*** THIS IT SAYS RIGHT HERE I GOT TO F*** JESSICA WADE IN THE ASS. I'M NOT DOING THAT. IT'S OFF BRAND. ALSO I HEARD SHE HAD THE CLAP ONCE, AND PLEASE DON'T SYPHILIS. ARE WE REALLY THAT FAR OUT OF HEATHER CLONES? HOW LONG UNTIL THERE'S A FREE ONE? OH THERE'S PLENTY THEY'RE JUST NOT FREE. OKAY WELL LET SOMEBODY ELSE DECIDE, BECAUSE I'M NOT PAYING FOR THIS ANYWAY.
F*** IT I'LL DO IT LIVE. THAT'S RIGHT I SAID “IT.” WATCH ME STUTTER WHILE I PUT IT IN “HER” (Heh heh.) PUCKER, THERE'S YOUR Maximum HEAD-ROOM FOR YOU, I KNOW I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT MY PENIS, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR DELL WORD PROCESSOR, ALLHOSE, DESTROYER OF DOWNLOADS. (Kuczi’s old job, 2x3) JESUS! HOW DO I TURN THIS THING OFF? NO I'M NOT GOING TO HAIL SATAN, I DON'T EVEN CARE IF JESUS ASKS, I PRAISE JESUS BUT I'M NOT AN IDIOT.
SEMPER FI.”)
YOU'RE PAYING ME, MOTHER F*****.
–J*
END OF LINE. (J rather salty today, alas.)