Nothing against Bea Arthur, but ...
Oh, I’d have something against Bea Arthur all right, back in her day she was quite the dish. Just look at her: obviously she can play chess. Possibly the second hottest grandma ever after Helen Mirren and may be first on my list to tap (heh heh) for the position of Head Matron of Harem, except for two things: number one, Grapefruit would kill me again. At this point, imagine the extensive headache for forensics, those poor bastards. And number two, I’m only attracted to snooty, busybody, shrewish women who think they know it all about everything everyone else has already heard of, when they’re at most middle-aged. After about 49 1/2, they become completely intolerable, suitable only for framing and wrapping fish.
We don't always sit around watching soft popped corn on YouTube, but when we do, it should be endurable.
So should your name dropping. Jesus weeping Christ, talk about past the expiration date. That stork that brought you to the cabbage patch… was it an
actual pterodactyl, or a dodo bird, or some other long-extinct flying creature? Perhaps a passenger pigeon? One word, just one word:
cobwebs.Wait, I’ve just had a keen insight: are you an actual
mummy? Asking for a friend who’s hobby is counting the rings of petrified tree trunks.