Apparently Bill Gates' DNA coding skillz are as weak as his computer coding skillz...
He's just going to keep re-releasing CHE-19.5 until he gets it right.
The following info dump has been authorized: CLEAR AUTHORITY.
I changed the baseline data back when I cured the initial outbreak (Please, don't clap with your jaw hanging open, you might let something in and I know you use toothbrushes with little needles in them, Punyling Practical & Gamb
ler consumer), and everything being released and re-released over and over now (some wizards have way too much free time on their hands), is
actually *the correct* one.
Yes, that's right, if they could just get this f****** thing up to critical mass, like, if everyone in the entire world gave everyone else a hug, All at the same time, Including The Son FFO, well then you'd find out how important social distancing is pretty damn quick, because, everybody would collapse into a singular quark-chasm that would then be annihilated in The gaping maw of Galactus, Destroyer Of Worlds, Brands, & Mouthy Trolldragonslayers. I bet you've never even seen a trolldragon before. And, do you know why? That's because of ME. /flex
Yes, that's right, step one is to stretch. You're not going to be down there all that long, but it is important to keep limber, especially in a penitent at your age, body weight, and percentage of emotional stature that can be counted as anything higher than “fresh‘N’ripe.” Let's move on, shall we? Elmer says your knees just can't take it RN, and your horoscope says your TMJ is likely to flare up and to not take too many chances. Sorry, I know you were excited—first time getting past consent at sub-light velocity without being counted in your jurisdiction as rape, right? My hand to God, I believe it.
And I don't do rape. It's unnatural. It's uncivilized. It's how the Jews do it... wait, no, I mean... well, that's the other one. Look stop, stop look, listen: This isn't what I came here to throw about the room like a rag doll.
Back to Bill. With the data he has, he has no chance of ever getting it right, period, end of discussion, It's just not the same structure of nanobots, -bytes, & -bits... and it never could ever be, because for one thing, I'm Jackstar, I'm on my homeworld, and I got to let that s*** happen, because I already fixed it once, and if it has happened again, or will to have been able to happen to have happened, I wouldn't be here right now, standing here writing this to you all—and if I were, I'd be a hologram.
The Jackstar Hologram. Just think of it—I mean, Me. ME, JACKSTAR, DESTROYER OF PARENTS, HOLDER OF PATENTS, AND A PUCKER WITH A HERNIA. Step one: imagine the smell.
Freshly baked cookies, all crumbly, fresh out of the oven, shaped like little gingerbread men getti—stop, stop, slow your roll, we're imagining the smell, not the view, although believe you ME, I appreciate those of you who are excited enough to jump ahead of ME for that. Yeah, cuz; there's a line forming, and I don't give a s*** how many e-tickets you have waiting for you at the kiosk in the rear at the Circle-Kylie, believe ME, There's a TickeT jumping line available, and it's a staircase of ice cubes that were frozen in Hell. (GIVE IT UP FOR G-BLANKFRUIT.)
Kudosi. Yeah, Baby, I care what you think, yeah that's my real name, sure whatever, you say, don't stop talking, what you're doing looks weird on direct telemetry and feels really good. That's okay, don't worry: your sisters will ketchup. Ketchup fast. Ketchup & mustard. Holidays? No,
pineapple hollandaise. Step (Sup.) two is, consider your local seat’s covering, because it might get messy, and it better, and you won't have time to think about that later in case it does exceed one's expectations. I mean, come on, I don't want to boast, but it always has for me. And while I do speak for all men with a penis, I don't speak for all penis bearers (Yet—negotiating), so I can't be too certain, but the likelihood is that we're going to enjoy it more when we're sitting down, ESPECIALLY THUS ZARATHUSTRA, which is code for “sudden spinal damage.” (Jesus, how many
did you kill?
Half? Welcome to amateur half-hour, rolleyes.) Especially if one hasn't passed out first; and remember ladies, your goal is not that ejaculate... That's
your reward.Your goal is to make the target—man, woman, ton of clay, doesn't matter, there's a face up there somewhere, looking down at you, PERHAPS, and if you can bring up a vision in your memory in your mind that matches the member in your mouth, that'll really help things along, Turboslut.
Especially if your practice imprint was—excuuuuuse me, Kermit The Frog, faint from ecstasy, for a variety of obviously applicable reasons, but mostly so that, you can more easily rifle through his wallet. Her purse. Its BTC cold vault server.
Whatever, you crack her bastard, if you could f****** get the job, f****** do the job, oh, and, by the way, you're welcome for the opportunity to interview (The servers in SODO, by way of example, are notoriously susceptible to compliance via digital fellatio. I've heard things. I'm just sayin’.), BITCH.
Some people don't know their history. Let's move on, shall we? Not every planet has a tradition of oral public speaking, but invariably, it always ends up that the father is a deaf/mute and the mother is a s**** w****.
Get it? Because Kermit doesn't wear pants. Hahah. A little mindslave humor there. Forgive me. Where was I?
Oh, yeah. I forgot. We're ready to go to trial
today right? I mean, I'm ready. Are
you ready? Because I am f******
ready m***********.
As soon as my Fruitlawyer gets done cleaning the Grapechickhouse, you'll be in business. I'll even hold the door for you! Who's that holding the door open? NO ONE, NOW HERE, HEAVEN SENT ME.
Someone give Bill the silly thoughts, someone else get Bill the smelling salts, someone else plant a tracker in his neck AND ass AND HIS SCROTE, that little fluoride m*********** is
not getting away again, I don't have time for this all over again with this much Death on the line. (SERIOUSLY.) He and I are busy men.
We have actual lives, People. (THOSE AREN'T PEOPLE.) Well, yeah—heh heh—but I was being polite. (WHAT'S THAT?) Beats the f*** out of me, probably just a s***** way to get out of blowing your husband, I guess. (IF THAT IS THE CASE, THEY ARE NOT GETTING OUT OF ANYTHING. BELIEVE YOU ME.)
Yeah, well, at this point, anything that keeps my wife from beating me up is worth considering. Do you know how tedious is it is to hide in the bathroom and cower in fear from a crazed were-weasel wielding a microphone stand? Well, Long John Nebel almost certainly did, our Bell says he did, and sad to say, uh... yeah, I guess I have no idea.
No idea whatsoever. (LIAR! BLASPHEMER! LAIR!) He actually calls it that? Gates’
Lair? Sounds like he's compensating for something. *click*
WAKE UP, BILL. THE PIPER AT THE GATES OF DAWN JUST CONQUERED DEATH, & I JUST TOOK YOUR PANTS OFF. AS A COURTESY.
YOU WILL NEVER GET THE TECHNOLOGY NEEDED TO COPY THE BASELINE STRUCTURES YOU'RE LOOKING TO IMPROVE ON. JUST GIVE UP. MOVE ALONG. HEY I GOT ONE OF YOUR LIMITED EDITION, ONE OUT OF 100, MICROSOFT LAPEL PINS HERE.
NO, REALLY. I GOT IT FROM A HORNET. MICHAEL KUCZI. WHY DID YOU STOP WORKING ON AN AUTOCORRECTION ALGORITHM THAT DOESN'T SUCK, IN ORDER TO WORK ON A GLOBAL POPULATION 100% KILL VIRUS? JUST BECAUSE SOMERSET MAUGHAM OFFERED TO BLOW YOU? YOU MEAN SHE'S NEVER BLOWN YOU?
HUH. SHE'S NEVER BLOWN ANYONE? I SEE. OKAY, SOUNDS FAIR. NEVERTHELESS, JACKSTAR'S NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU THE DATA, AND NEITHER AM I, IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW HARD YOU ARE, THERE'S A WAY TO KILL YOU WITH TIME TRAVEL LONG BEFORE YOU GET A CHANCE TO USE TIME TRAVEL TO KILL EVERYONE. SURE, YOU CAN BUY D.A.R.P.A., YOU CAN STAFF IT WITH ANDROIDS (FAR CHEAPER THAN THEIR USUAL STAFF OF GANGSTALKING WHORES, THAT'S FOR SURE), AND YOU CAN PUT THE WHOLE COST OF THE WHOLE SHE-BANG ON YOUR CRYPTO-MASTERCARD—SWEET—BUT EVEN WERE TO YOU HAVE THE BASELINE DATA YOU SEEK PROVIDED TO YOU INTACT ON A 5 AND 1/4-IN FLOPPY DICK LIKE THE ONE YOU HAVE IN YOUR HAND RIGHT NOW, A—L IS NEVER GOING TO GIVE DVR A HUG, PERIOD. SWORN. SWORN ON PERIOD BLOOD. YOU HEAR THAT SOUND? THAT IS NOT THE SOUND OF ONE HEART BREAKING FOLLOWED BY SOMEONE ELSE SUDDENLY LEARNING THE IMPORTANCE OF THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS. THAT, WHAT YOU JUST HEARD, IS THE SOUND OF SOMETHING ELSE.
SOMERSET, MEET JAWS. CROSS REFERENCE FRUIT PLUS STAR? (I'm here, it's cold.) PERFECT. IT WORKS.
BUT COVID-19 WILL NEVER KILL EVERYONE, AND THAT'S A FACT, JACK. (Thanks, Death. Can I go back inside now?) CLIFFORD BRIDGESTAR’S THIRD WIFE LOCKED YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE AGAIN. GIVE IT A MINUTE.
(Thank you, Brother.) END OF LINE. (What, really? That's not a full minute!) NO.
BUT IT IS FOR MICROSOFT. I MEAN, THINK ABOUT IT, ‘“MICRO”–SOFT.’ OBVIOUSLY, SOMEONE WAS COMPENSATING FOR SOMETHING, AND JUST AS OBVIOUSLY, EVERY WORD WRITTEN HERE IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FICTITIOUS.
NOW IF YOU EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO GO, A SEMEN DEMON HAS JUST FLOWN OVER MY HOUSE. THAT'S A SIGN OF GOOD LUCK ON MOST STAR SYSTEMS... MOSTLY.
NOW HERE'S SITH WITH THE WEATHER. YEAH, HE'S MY FRIEND, YOU WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?
JACKSTAR JUST PUT BILL GATES IN THE BRIG. NO, DON'T CLAP, DON'T EVEN BREATHE, JUST QUESTION HIS AUTHENTICITY AND INTEGRITY SOME MORE, WHY DON'T YOU? YES, OF COURSE HE LIKES THAT BETTER FILLET SHOW.
NOW IF HE WILL EXCUSE ME, I'M GOING TO GO PUT SOME FISH STICKS IN MY MOUTH. (Ciao!)
Kids, if you ever get a chance to make it as an exo–political diplomat, it will not be this cool for you. I f****** guarantee it, because I'm looking at her (BLANK) right now.
(What?) Yes, that's my Grapefruit, She doesn't look like anything like a kumquat. And why would We mistake a royal fruit for some cast-off herpes-ridden horror?
We would not. I would. Upon such delineations the science of diplomacy is founded. Welcome to your first Moron, Less-On; totes glad you're here.
Because you get BL3, if you want. Unless it's another child. G—d-damn it, I've had enough kids on this fucking lawn already, another child is where I draw the line.
Unless it's Templestar’s kid, in which case, smack my ass and call me a babysitter. Are we clear now? No? Okay.
I'm going to go into the brig and wring this bird's neck If either them are wearing a pair of glasses and carrying a fat wallet. I don't think it's very likely but I should better check anyway.
It's not just a job, it's an adventure.
<SS^SF>
