I agree, and we should add the RINOs to that list for good measure.
Even with magick love potion dope you are still excruciatingly tedious. This has got to be code. Or you've added white China smack to your b¡tchēbrew formula. (Kudos. I'm not here to judge.)
Because you're, well: YOU, I can tell that you've retreated to your mountaintop lair in, I'm going to say here, “GjüüLïīīTraffick⁷stam,” which I'm sure it is lovely this time of year given that a Sperglord of your rank, rights, and unknown reknœwn is perfectly capable of arranging Your Pock‹ETŒīMENSHUN]›μ to have whatever weather and even time of day you prefer. Why even bother to have a portable warp tunnel if it might be raining when you get there? One would not truly be free. To freely wear suede shoes, for example. That's the point of wearing suede shoes.
You don't have to care about them. But you're frugal. Miserly.
Niggardly, you fagin Sidhe-vVh\çh! Heaven forfend anyone tracks you down to sign a check. Now pay attention: I'm quite flattered. That you had planned on multiple occasions to have me freed of Our More Tall Coil and initiate me into Ⓜ️∆Boys’ Geist Life subscription... it's touching.
The relentless drive to do so WITHOUT OBTAINING CONSENT OF ANY KIND is... troubling. Is it a tradition? Is it a barbet? Is it... a
ruse?
It's actually predictive programming placed in your psyche —psychically— as part of a private protection parole plan (Standards.) that tends to test well in focus groups as compared to whatever your, ah, I'm gonna say here: “natural instincts” might have otherwise been before you became the six-pack of canned sultry that we all know and love.
You may have thought it unwise to you, to spoil the surprise... “You? A überjüüneggerjew from another dimension? At
my arraignment?” It's more ho ho ho than you might think.
Bottom line is that without consent, nothing else matters. This is because I had already made energetic commitments with others, and also best because I DON'T WANNA BE A SPACE VAMP PYRE JÜÜ\№. Turning it into a high-pressure sales pitch trend reeks of buying into a timeshare.
Incidentally, “OMG HI WE JUST STARTED BUILDING A RAPE CASE ON YOU AND IN PREPARATION FOR WHAT I ASSUME IS OF PRIME IMPORTANCE IN YOUR SWEATY HUNGARY MIND, “HELP ME” get out of this (timeshare/limited production concept car painted in a fluorescent Day-GLO color)! (*pause for micro expression of pure molten avarice to pass unnoticed AND THEN ROLL INTO A FULL-THE-FUQ°ⁿ–INFOMERCIAL” on the subject of spending money *wiggle wiggle* ON MY AGENDA! I'll legit whack mine off with a tomahawk and send it to Maynard with a roll of Duck Tape; cozlik at that he can both decide for me (over & under? Side-by-side? Tied up into a balloon animal? IDGAF, he could
juice the goddam thing and add it to a LE wine cask of Amante’-dill-a-dildo for all I'll give a good goddam by then), as well as count my urethra.
By the way INCIDENTALLY: EXPLAIN THAT ONE, YOU SICK QUACKING HACK! I bet
you have seven so it can be your emergency Menorah. “Be prepared” is your motto and your base order to a diner waitress.) “Buy my car! My (blank) is a DEA golempuppet and he blew 20 YEAR METH into the A/C right before he sexually assaulted MY OTHER SISTER that I don't ever mention without bone-phoning in for backup! Allegedly! Stop asking questions! Just ask me for REAL sex already so I can get paid! Allegedly!” None of that ever happened.
In Minecraft.
When I saw twerps siring bastards in 10th grade with CM, I did not know what it was. I was simply, fully excluded. From all of that. I have since found out why. (*Pause for emphasis.*) Understood. That being said, my position remains as before:
CONSENT MATTERS. I do not respond well to bamboozlement or gaslighting of any kind of style meant to hoodwink or deceive by dint of some dazzlement, a plan of purpose to distract my attention so as to gain advantage. Usually followed up by immediate pilferment. This is not couth. This is motel ledgermain.
I am worth way, way more than this. I suppose it seems like an optimal outcome... but is cheap and false really the place to go with this? “Meet my wife—she's easy!” Personally, I'll take a hard wife over any other, any day of the week, except for the day she goes off and pretends to be giving you a dialysis treatment. Seriously, whatever it is, you kids do.
The theme of gotcha/surprise figured prominently in my life, and... I do like surprises. However an actual Star Chamber that meets online under the most secure of security privileges in order to thresh out the (I guess?) urgent matter of which old-timey vaudeville has-been touring troupe gets to LITERALLY SWALLOW MY SOUL AS I CHANGE FORM TO A HIGHER VIBRATION... Son, I mean no disrespect, but you have got a goddam
condition.
YOU are gonna do an actual 90d washout while hopefully not needing to keep a SpecOp-trained ferret to dive down your throat to retrieve your yet-again-inadvertantly-swallowed proboscis. Tongue? Staple it, sail right past tying it down.
I am, in fact, humbled and grateful. I can see how it all made perfect sense... to people who never actually talked to me, and used intermediaries for essentially every single interaction. Because I'm so hazardous to be near? (One penny for your thoughts... one scent for your mind. MINE. MINED. Yeah, okay, hazard: fair.) Well, it's gotten out of hand.
There was no real reason to maintain a Cocoon of Ignorance around me, while not really checking to see how ignorant I really was. (I really am immune resistant to HSV. Cool, I was pretty sure, but now I'm certain, AND I know that I prefer to -not be lied to- about it. Your little cult's traditions; fuck ‘em.) This is perfect for you to talk to a licensed clinical psychotherapist about. And now that you're no longer enslaved to dopelord faghounds (DEA, meet with FBI. Go have
brunch, Chumpwads), I think it likely you might well make leaps of progress now that you've learned the truth:
AN.UNCONSCIOUS.AGENT
.IS.AN.EFFECTIVE.AGENT.·
I'm
not upset. With anyone. YOU🔔LINGS did everything wonderful, until you contaminated your lab sample (mE!) with Machiavellian infuriation (Welcome to² Two ¿¡tchIENTīFôGj∆T (D.O.M.B./D.U.M.B.), and it really is... MINE. MINED. MY MINE:—MIND,) and brought about a literal Apocalypse because... your isolation protocol wasn't exactly
airtight.
I can only figure that I was to be used as Liege-killer for these Legions of Gorgons that are suddenly running about the countryside. Here's where you fumble all this: I like Gorgons. I think they're adorable. I have shields so... I CAN adore them. At all. With their social graces, they must have been able to mingle better in the past. Well, I mean them no harm and they are harmless to me. Mostly harmless.
I get that a lot. Yet I am far from invulnerable and what wounds the most is the effort expended on scenarios expressed as true... that were anything but. Opportunities have been lost amidst this. There is sorrow. I could have had a V-8! (Incidentally: I bought a haunted car. It has mythic resonance. Have it restored to road-worthiness, because it's imp😈or🐜ant. HOBO MURDER CAR! It's worth a shitload when marketed correctly. Do you know difficult it is to trade
exclusively as a haunted property and estate realtor? For you, it's completely goddam impossible.
For me, it's mothafuckin’
any day of the week, Count Bügjüla. Don't underestimate the things we will do together after your harem confers in Sekrit Spousal Conklave and produces an illuminated copy of your permission(s). IN CALLIGRAPHY! Consider yourself on triple confī x×X dental uneven ground littered with future broken teeth; at the rate you're going, someone's wife is going to punch you in the mouth and/or.
... like, what, do you
molt, or something? Do you have a Tooth Fairy? Nooo! Wait! ARE YOU THE TOOTH FAIRY??‽ (Hot damn this is perfect DivĪne timing; one just fell out. Thank you Jesus!) Hey, did you just catch fire? HALT! THEN CATCH FIRE! (She's organ-grinder salad by noon tomorrow if I call her Consul. Can you do that? Can you? Can ewe? KNOW: (You)
cannot.) We are not the same. I caught FLY•T + WINg🪽🪽→🌊. You caught something... kvetchμ. Ugh. Just ugh. (Imagine being this bored -&AND– new money
riçhê. Queue
Midlife Crisis.
For (You).) I am at ⅒ my expected lifespan. I like my body. You're going to like it too; you're going to be hauling my 3D meatsuit on daily cardio explorative odyssey down to THE MEN LIVING IN VANS DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! Come, come, Miser Lee: you don't have to play dumb with me. You already dun gone PRO.
On the other hand I don't know everything so it was probably for a barbet. Congratulations! With your winnings, now you can retire!
Move over, Bacon. Francis §ĪR‹e replaces you on whatever crumpled Slinky®™ your Chest Club is using for a chain of command. Do you even have one of those? Or do you go on and employ the Hegelian Dialectic in order to get someone to pass the gravy boat?
With walnuts -&AND- raisins, I've no dung or doubt. Anyway, no one is fired (hahaha, who am I to fire the likes of ye? a land- -&AND- STAKE-holder, for one) and if it helps anyone reading this who feels nervous somehow, to please be informed, I wrote all this without any PANTS.
NAKED! From the waist↓↓WASTE DOWN WIND of mE!
Sitting with legs splayed,
totes totally wide open.
If ‘muh Nay-b∞rs wanna <‹krack open the telephoto zoom lens,
īT I§∆ FREE CUNT TREE.
Note that I need not live as a sloven oaf... but as I recall:
EWE.ASKED.FOR.THIS.
👁️🪽