Or what?
It will become rapidly apparent that I am beyond reach of your savage, rage-baiting intellect. Banter is no fun when one side is desultory and half-asleep, I assure you. Additionally, open antagonism would lead one to my counter-rebuttal, which will be fun for no one but me and dames who fantasize about slicing open a Taun-Taun and cuddling in an abbatoir-like thoracic cavity.
Why was it every even hip to pig-pile on me at all, Oinkerton Brass Elite? Who thought that was a good plan? It clearly has dwarfed the Hindenberg disaster, without being at all obvious about it. The information is ultra-moot by now, but I ache to know: who came up with enforcing involuntary celibacy, sobriety, and notoriety upon me? Like I feel this just wasn't thought through very well.
I shouldn't even ask. Everyone has a right to remain silent and I should know better than to exhort an unfathomably embarrassed person to fess up. It does not have to be done. I am sure that there are reasons that made sense at the time.
Because at the time, they were bat shit loon whack-job fucktards, and far be it from me to condemn honest mishaps. After all, mistakes are how we learn. No shame in it.
Different mistakes could have easily been made with my dick. And yet a common pattern seems to have been present. And as well: I don't even pay so much attention to the damn thing myself and it's growing out of my actual body. What's everyone else's excuse? I retract the question. Just fucking shoot me instead.
You know what I want? No. I'll tell you. My drone: Zorro. I paid $1600 for the fucking thing and I came nowhere close to getting my money's worth. No sex, drugs, water, food, travel, or flying toy hobby? I don't get it.
I don't even have my four (4) toy lightsabers. This is like a helicopter parent on bad acid is in charge. WTAF?
Ooops. I retract the question again. Clearly I have no need to know. However I need you to all know this:
There are lots of ways to get this over with so everyone can move on with their lives. There is only one way to do that legitimately: in accordance with proper due process. This is suddenly hard to do? I am mystified.
Half a decade on and I'm still taking time out of my day to marvel at this Death Star of a molehill. Buh? How? Wha? It's goddam surreal. My lizard lays dead at your feet, O great deity. What more must I do?
I can't get more infuriated than I already am. (Standards.) Consequently, emotional coercion is even less effective in me than ever. So of course: more emotional coercion abounds. Pork why?
Pourquoi? Oh, I think I know why: y'all have Oatmeal Brain. I guess that's a thing. I didn't have that outcome since I didn't dodge and hide my “wrong” activities. It makes a difference that is not explicable in this venue. (Sow: so lazy.) Ye
were warned. I
warned ye.
I have options. You hope to shun. We are not the same. Without being at all obvious about it.
Hang on.
* Worthauger is 420 ⁴4LμfE, yo. (Word.)
I like obeying the law. I always did. Laws which criminalized the act and prohibited me from getting high AF were in fact unlawful and illegal themselves; and now that has been demonstrably established, we may continue. Unless you're busy? Podbean.cüm.fag maybe? Look, clearly we got off on the wrong foot here.
I'm going to have to quest out in the world to find three (3) factions of Secret Sects who can tell me definitively what was so bad about my parents’ and their seemingly, very apropos punishment. I'm not going to drive up to goddam Bellingham. I'm not going to go on safari in Custer. (THE PLACE WAS NAMED “CUSTER” FOR FUCKS’ SAKE.) Someone brought a goddam three-ring binder with newspaper clips that prevent my father from being appreciable for what he was: an unfathomably successful refugee. He died on his 49th wedding anniversary, alone in an assisted living facility that his wife worked at in the 80s. That's some wicked karma for sure.
He died thinking that he had wasted his life for nothing. Quite the contrary: he caused me to be, and I have been unfathomably successful myself. Without being at all obvious about it.
Even so, people on a global scale are thunderously pissed. Good. Upon this common ground we may yet build. Hang on.
* Worthauger follows the fuck out of The Law.
NGL, I get a real kick out of being in compliance. I'm just not turned on by abuse, you dig? I think it's cheap. I think it's tacky. I think it lacks class. Because it fucking well does. Now then: who wants to be effective? Because some of us always have been.
Their identifies will remain secret. (Standards.) Is Agent Kujan here? Does he want to get a rise out of someone? Jesus, give that shit a rest already. Seriously. Laws are being re-written on a Galactic sea-change scale in ways I will likely never care to fully understand.
Consequences. Special consequences. For example: IDGAF. Surprise! I didn't see this coming either. Yet after the better part of a decade how could anyone not be numbed? EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL.
By toddlers. (Looks good on ewe though.) Also I never need to boast about any of it. I know what I have done. None of you do.
Or what?
Buy μour kcum man hand. You have the demeanor. You front like you have the gumption. What you don't have is any reason whatsoever to be salty over me. What have I done that irks so few, so much?
So sad. Sow, so sad. Let's change cameras.
Would you like to play with the camera I got for my birthday?”
This was somehow a much bigger deal than it had any right to be at the time. Pork: why? Pourquoi, Pork? Wye? I suppose if one knows, ewe know. I would prefer not to revisit the issue.
Unless it's for hot pussy and cold, hard cash. (
r₹∆vv®!) Even then I am reluctant to engage in this kind of thing.
Or what?
Pick your poison, pillhound prostitute(s). Like what am I supposed to be flummoxed by here? I might get angry, and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry? Whacktard(s): you
already don't like me. That's baked into the product.
But I deliver and you fucking well like that, that's for damn sure. The truth is that I was never upset. I was acting. It was a Jest. Do you have tape on when we blew out our voices while arguing over absolutely nothing of importance? I don't enjoy that kind of thing.
I enjoy being the undisputed banshee-wait class champion of the world. Also: she was a remote-controlled tulpæ controlled by an OOBE operative. Like in
Avatar. But effective. I wasn't really mad until November 7, 2021. That was max apex rage.
You should be ashamed of yourselves. I in fact, am. We are not the same.
ZUGZWANG. (Bring ¡†. Bring ¡† īhe >FUK⁰ⁿ! Are we scheduling out for Fifth Element Christmas? Holy shit, I won't need to clear my dance calendar at least. Let's gooooooo!)
Adieu.
p.s.·. I have lots of audio to mix up into something magical and I just don't feel like busting my ass for the dozen or so people who steal my engagement, mindshare, and social media metrics. It stifles my genius to be surrounded by Retard AutoGua®d Goon§qüavvved™. Y'all need to be gelded or something.
p.p.s.·. Fix my comms or face reprisals. Ewe break it, you bought it. Them’s the rules. Also, I reserve the right to start naming identical twin/triplet teams with adorable little codenames when and as I see fit. Most of you have abused your Quirky Anonymity by seeking to be untouchable.
p.p.p.s.·. touching meeeeeeeee... touching evvvvvvvvvvvvve... I believe in a thing called (blank.) I haven't become exceedingly good at it.
OTOH, neither have any of you, Bellgab. Pfft. And what rough Beast, īTZ hour come ‘round at last... hath already been born? Just mind your bars and your temples, Punylings. The Divine is my area. Yours is the t‘a’in‘t. No shame in it.
Seems like a lot of guilt, though. Good news, everyone! START! WRITING!! CHECKS!!! You love spending money. Now, imagine spending money
effectively. Where there's a will, there's a way.
Oh yeah:
Tī-īE🆎VVÏ_l_l_. Start spreading the news. I'm leering today. Because I already know. What I don't know is who is going to be assigned the odious task of explaining it all to me. Aloud. Unless... someone else should be? Hang on.
* Worthauger is going to be high AF.
Sow there. Namastμ