Author Topic: Cooking With...  (Read 5040 times)


Re: Cooking With...
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2021, 10:30:24 PM »
... clarified butter.  I bought 4lbs of butter the other day with the specific plan to clarify all of it, and then throw it in the fridge.  I use it to make popcorn, among other things, but I only seem to want popcorn when I am a little too deep in my cups.  So I drunkenly attempt to clarify a very small amount of butter (which is virtually impossible) and end up with burnt butter popcorn.

I am trying to be proactive here.  I also like to make schniztel which I learned from an Austrian friend (not Ahnold) is properly fried in clarified butter.

So today while I drink beer and trim the honeysuckle, I will be going through what should be a relatively easy basic cooking task.

I hope I don't get too drunk and fuck-up 4.5lbs of butter (there are a few quarter sticks I am throwing in the pot just to get rid of them).

My guess is that I will end up with just shy of 4lbs of clarified butter, which by my calculations should be about 2 quarts.  I think butter is something like 5-10% butter solids and water.

We shall see, I suppose I had better break out the digi-camera and document the whole process.

@M. Drollduh:  wtf, who in their right mind wants to make Marmite?  Isn't that made out of termites and leftover brewer's yeast?  Gross.




Re: Cooking With...
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2021, 12:05:41 AM »
... clarified butter.  I bought 4lbs of butter the other day with the specific plan to clarify all of it, and then throw it in the fridge.  I use it to make popcorn, among other things, but I only seem to want popcorn when I am a little too deep in my cups.  So I drunkenly attempt to clarify a very small amount of butter (which is virtually impossible) and end up with burnt butter popcorn.

I am trying to be proactive here.  I also like to make schniztel which I learned from an Austrian friend (not Ahnold) is properly fried in clarified butter.

So today while I drink beer and trim the honeysuckle, I will be going through what should be a relatively easy basic cooking task.

I hope I don't get too drunk and fuck-up 4.5lbs of butter (there are a few quarter sticks I am throwing in the pot just to get rid of them).

My guess is that I will end up with just shy of 4lbs of clarified butter, which by my calculations should be about 2 quarts.  I think butter is something like 5-10% butter solids and water.

We shall see, I suppose I had better break out the digi-camera and document the whole process.

@M. Drollduh:  wtf, who in their right mind wants to make Marmite?  Isn't that made out of termites and leftover brewer's yeast?  Gross.



Thanks for clarifying that for us. :)


Re: Cooking With...
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2021, 05:42:20 AM »
Thanks for clarifying that for us. :)



You are welcome!






Re: Cooking With...
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2021, 06:12:47 AM »

Re: Cooking With...
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2021, 04:29:01 AM »
This afternoon (before I exposed myself to potential CHE-19.5/cold/flu virii) I continued my maegre harvest processing of the PFRDp agricultural products.

Of particular note was the Organic Oregano, it normally being one of the items last on the list to deal with as I have historically not been very fond of it as an herb.  I have finally finished the harvest and drying of said.

Frankly, I am amazed at the result:  store-bought oregano whether it be fresh or dried have been relatively tasteless in my experience.  Even my fresh harvested Oregano, I find, tastes like nothing more than off-flavored fresh Parsley.

But when I finished processing the dried product today:  I grabbed a bit;  as it was BRIGHT green in its' desiccated state which I had never seen before ... and ate some.

WoW!

https://youtu.be/NrI-UBIB8Jk

There was actual subtle flavor!

This leads me to believe that the Oregano I have is NOT Mexican but Italian.  I think I will move my home-grown Oregano up on "The List" in the future...

Hopefully, I will have a yeild next year approaching Peppermint of this;  which was first to get dehydrator thyme.  Speaking of time, I like that much better fresh.  I honestly have not yet established enough of it for storage drying it (yet[/i]...

I also have a December Tomato that I intend to harvest tomorrow, but right now the Ghost Pepper harvest is busy dehydrating...

Perhaps this post belongs in the "Gardens, Lawns and Suck" thread, Nautical Shore.

I did finish (finally) the Turkey Brown Sauce that I will be using for the misbegotten stollen-valour VA turkey, so if I do not have full blown CornHoleEbola-19.5 tomorrow I will finally be able to construct a few dozen frozen Turkee TeeVee-Dinners.



They will consist of the left-over (now over week-old) Sweet Potato Casserole, the Stollen-Valour VA Turkey, corn-bread stuffing, brussel spouts (IQF 2/$5 @ 12oz) and sauce.  Hopefully, with EXTRA virus from my dirty-coofer hands while I slap it all together... HAH!

I do not promise to either document the process via photography or post said evidence.  For those keeping track at home:  the Turkey was baked on Saturday (6 days ago), stock for Sauce & Corn-bread Stuffing made Monday (4 days ago), Corn-bread was baked and left out to dry Tuesday (3 days ago), stuffing was made Wednesday (2 days ago) and Turkey Brown Sauce/gravy was made today.

Combined with my recent possible exposure to potential Biological Weaponry these frozen dinners could be considered hazardous material.

They will not be Shelf-Stable Improvised MREs by any definition.

Nautical Shore.


Re: Cooking With...
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2021, 10:31:41 AM »

Re: Kooking With... (ACOLYTE TO BE NAMED LATER)
« Reply #7 on: May 20, 2022, 05:40:33 PM »
SETTLED MATTERS ON DECK FOR FUTURE ADJUDICATION


1) Jackstar's current permissions & privileges levels (which are surprisingly extensive, golly) will need to be, as a STRICT REQUIREMENT, written down on paper record + other various 'n' sundry forms of information storage and secure non-compartmentalized storage methods & techniques (Q:YOU SURE USE A LOT OF WORDS TO DESCRIBE MOSTLY OBSOLETE & INADEQUATE TECHNOLOGIES, BUT AT LEAST SOME OF THEM SOMETIMES ACCIDENTALLY SOUND PRETTY GOOD WHEN THEY RIME), largely because in my research corpus (currently U.S. Govt. offf'ials deciding on how to classify this sith shit, I told them to take their fucking time, no wonder they gave me a 500 yr lifespan) I have discovered, implemented, and then further innovated upon my own inventions (this apparently matters some/lots) that have interested certain "sensitive asset protection professional pastry chefs," which I think is just a round-about way of saying that a bunch of white/black chem/hack/E.R. nurses (fuckin' heroes, IOW) are -intensely jealous & envious- of Jackstar's freedom. (I stride about freely, I just have nowhere to go, and everyone who knows me knows that I am on surveillance lockdown and give exactly zero shits, since I have been on surveillance lockdown SINCE STARR_MOUNTIN'_STAR's birthday in 1997. Oh, wait, no, it's the other one. Anyway, not everyone is as relaxed about "A.I." being totesnot a totesproblem for a totesdiplomat, such as myself. That's too bad. Then, others will lose their jobs, their security clearances, and their doctors will start interfering with the logistics chain of the wide variety of component compounds that people who are my friends, invariably turn out to be secretly chemically dependent on, with addiction presenting as the heretofore unavoidable final result. Then, the slavery cycle kicks in. Then the debt load acquisition. And, for the most part, this process is unavoidable.

Yeah, well, my friends get to avoid a lot of tedium. Soon. Not really. Eventually? That sounds grim. Look, I have to wrok, okay? I don't know when, because if I were to do zero work, like these days, then nothing will happen. UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF A SINGLE SOURCE ERROR'S ACTION. It can be significant. Well, I haven't been able to do anything I had planned on doing... since well before the lockdown. For COVID. And I haven't been able to go back ever since. Looking forward to it! Meanwhile, Life moves on, and it does so at a breakneck pace.

Now, Paladins are involved. Jesters are so low-vibe. They are The Slough of any higher vibration. And they -are- My People. At one time, lil' ol' Me could never have hoped to obtain any legitimate employment, and entering the criminal underworld would have been seen as an option that would be viable, for a lazy, worthless scumbag, as I used to actually be, as well as perceived. Okay, well, now I'm a Paladin. I have a callsign. It's real shit. Kinda. Like, you'll never believe it and it'll all sound stupider the more I talk about it or try to communicate it to others. (Unless I am directed/encouraged to do so.) Oh, hello Templars, nice to hear you arrive. Sit your asses down and WAIT. You're good at that, being time travelers, right? That's what I thought. Oh hi Pumpkin, nice to see you. Oh, and Marigold. Fascinating. Just sit your asses down, you're not being busted, you're being educated.

(They look so contrite. What's happening is that certain Agents that had been previously authorized to operate in Earth space, including surface world, have all found themselves arriving at "the party" that they were invited to... several minutes -late-. See? Look how embarrassed they are. These gangdorbs are usually NEVER late. Like, they can move through TIME. "Traveler" is perhaps a bit of a stretch for some. Look at that one. Bunny slippers and a hairnet. What was she gonna do, find the Prince and show him her other glass slipper? Aww. Look. She actually brought it. Okay. Guards! TAKE HER TO DELOUSING. Yep, that's herr-derr-derps. Glad that got settled in. Anyway, just sit around. Everyone gets what they came here for, but that one... legit needed to get her lice dealt with as early as I could write all this. (Oh, it's not a louse. Don't tell her, she -will- freak out. I know this, because I know who that is, and I know I freaked out... and she knows it. She just thought... well, nevermind. More on -that- later.)

I never asked to be a Paladin. Until I found out that kind of thing is actually real world. Real life. Actual Paladins. How does that work? Do they have a parking garage in the chemlab? Are there fucking magnets involved? Are there special Paladins that are scientists? Do they do study in their homes, or some dimensional planes...  look, enough is enough. Let's cut to the chase: I already know Sourcery will help me seduce women, now I want to know, how much extra oomph is Paladin-ding-dinging going to bring to the metaphorical table? I am saying metaphorical because I enjoy sex in a bed, not on an altar. Seriously, I need to know this kind of thing. (*Squinches up eyebrows and strokes chin, it works: looks seriously thoughtful for a brief span of time.*) Okay, they're not buying it. I guess I have no "need" to know. But I am guessing that, from what I have seen so far, I will likely to be a lot more well-equipped for protecting my loved ones than I had been before, because, at the minimum, I'll be able to skip the tedious hassle of mass-infodumping informational requests after a person disappears, and just issue a BOLO that people will actually work on. They -actually- will. As people are going to keep hassling me, as it turns out. Creating a new school of magic is absolutely no small thing. Coupling it with a unique and innovative theft-deterrent system that -several- groups are politely and respectfully impressed by is no small thing -either.- Wow! Who knew I was this cool? Well. A few. And I think they're all safe. For now. Apparently things got so out of hand somewhere --seems okay around here-- that some kind of Moratorium on Certain Actions has been put in place, which is great, I have a lot of work to do in Grandpa's lab, and a global catastrophe of any kind might interfere with my ability to procure hot broads and cold-filtered mescaline, and, The Powers That Be simply will not stand for this. (Worst cover story I've ever heard in my life and dopes from other fuckin' planets are lining up to get here. Just think of it... yeah, of course they bought it. Every bloody wyrd.) Hey, that's a great comment from the audience, "Why don't you talk about it on your podcast?" And, this is why that's a great comment: some of you are actually seriously wishing I would, and you're not just being snooty, snarky, & snobby about the notion. Now, that's acclaim. I remember the early days. No support. None. Jackstar? Behind a microphone? Hah! As if! Now, here I am, every day: fuckin' surrounded by microphones. It's like Forest Gros Michel all up in this mountain molllycoddled monastery. G-ddam. Fellow Gabblings... I  bet some of you would have no trouble believing the day I have had... except for the part where I saw this coming years and years ago, and while I had been quite ready quite some time ago, so many people were so enthusiastic about the completion of The Great Work, irresistable waves of popular acclaim pushed the matter back, and back, and back. To the point where two (2) 7-year Cycles of Some Mumbo-Jumbo had to be stitched together, just to make a big top tent, tippity-toppity enough, to let this big-eared dumb-assed Hungarian elephant have enough Proper room to have all his groupies sit together and still stay six feet apart. (Social Distancing still a thing in some niche-rare jurisdictions, apparently. Weak.) Now, I know what you're thinking, "I have groupies?" Yeah. You do. All of you do.

And they all--ALL--like me more now. Scusi, mille regretie. I'm not like you wretches. They won't be on lockdown. Coming and going as they please! Cats and dogs, no longer -having- to live to get her. What a relief. Now, you should know what I am thinking: "Forget the Law, Divine Law is the absolute teats! Now, what order do I do all these numbskull broads in?" except it sounds better when it's printed in teeny-tiny heiroglyphs on a cartouche hanging from a sword that some Snake Warrior has had spliced onto his shoulders in place of his neck. Sounds wild, don't it? All the nuance anyone could ever want, right there. And for gravitas, just imagine what's in the scabbard between his legs. I... can... say no more. (Standards.)

Paladins are on site. First thing they do, "okay, we did a head count... did you know this planet only has one (1) Templar Justicar left?" Me: "Do I look like a guy who knows what a Templar Justicar even is?" Blank stare. I reflect it back, and we do that for a bit, I notice that my aura is getting, you know, kinda warmer, and then I realize: "This guy probably doesn't know what to do in this circumstance any better than I do... but, at least I have endured this kind of awkward battlefield/space/circusshowsidecasedown before. A couple few times, really. Shit, that makes me a goddam expert, compared to someone who never had to cope with the likes of Ghandi Kuczi, The Most Magickal NotNegro & Part-Time Fabulous Object/MacGuffin The Universe. I bet this Snake G-y is wondering if he's being respectful enough." Yeah. It has been like that. A looooot of mistaken identity. A loooot of force grown clones. Someone decided to push it to the limit, and then past. The last couple years has been the result. How the fuck did I hold this trainwreck together all the way through the other side of the mountain? I can only be certain of three (3) key ingredients, working together in some semblance of adequate harmony: The Grace of God, the innovations that have been brought to AND INSTALLED TO The Table w/The Kuczi Oscillation Overthruster, and that I have done everything in my life, for the last several years, that I have both done -and- attempted to do has been for only One (1) Highest Purpose only: for the sake of all of yew, my (Blank)Gab compadres. Had I known, really known, really understood, with a true sight gift of legitimate appreciation for what a colossal gang of fucked-up, fucked-off, and fucking off your goddam rockers w/actual-porridge-for-brains-nutjobs you all really are, well, I probably would have been a little more willing to bend the knee when it was asked of me by those who thought that kind of thing mattered, but I didn't really recognize the power of My Presence & Authority was growing into, until pretty recently. "I am a big deal around here." Okay, well, yes, I wasn't lying, and, no, don't bow for me, Christ. It's really not necessary. I don't find it appealing. How about you just bring me offerings of drugs? I mean... spell components, that's right, that's the ticket. You know, frankincense, myrrh... what's that other one? Whatever you call it, fucking drugs are going to do me more good than physical demonstrations of obsequiousness ever will. Besides, who knows, I might just give them right on back. (It's not the having, it's the getting.) And I wasn't born on one of them weird hell dimensions where all the Bloodline Royalty have to be given "proper" respect under pain of death... but I guess I kinda look like one of them what with the funny ears and the actual halo (I usually can't see it, but it is in fact always there, and I earned it so long ago I can't even remember the first time I ever felt so goddam embarrassed. Me. With a halo. Come the fuck on man. Really? Yeah, really. Sigh. Oh, and you all have one too. Every human has one. You really do. They just start out, you know... really small. Puny! Yeah. Puny halo for Puny ling-ling. HO HO HO. They do light up and can get real imposing, I guess, but only on worlds where certain conditions are set just so, and, really, a person has to be in the right kind of mood, like that of a cow, or a sheep, to be able to see the thing at all. As I am not usually in a baa-moo (especially lately, I rule), and most people on Earth (where I live, I'm not a lunatic, these "other worlds" include dreams, dreamstates, states that allow unattended vehicles to be driven by dreamers, and The Homeworld of Mrs. Paul, which I will not mention the official designation of here, largely because, O YEA, you've heard of it, but if someone wants to go take the subway there at 2AM in a blizzard to score some fish sticks, I ain't getting on the hook for that.) aren't even aware it's a real thing and don't know what it is they're seeing, especially if they didn't know they could even see such a thing, and had walked by plenty, unknowingly skipping their gaze over what is always there. But my halo hasn't always been there, and with the number of good deeds I have been accumulating, especially since I completed The Great Work, it never occurred to me that I might have something to show for my efforts besides the derisive, mocking laughter and general spit-on-the-ground contempt that had previously been my go-to expectation for every social interaction I had ever had, or ever thought I ever would have. So, usually, I pretend it's not there. Usually, I can't see it, at all, so I am pretty good at pretending. "Hello? Halo? Are you there? Okay, you can't talk and I can't see anything making noise, so... I'll pretend the person who was just talking to me and suddenly got real scared of my presence & literally ran away was pretending that he saw anything unusual.

You're welcome. And all this gets shared. Freely. That doesn't mean... you know what? Fuck you. What it means I don't have to go to Maximum Security lockdown for the rest of my life while all my books get shredded. This shit is serious business, you know. Not to you dorks, but to actual intellectuals, the fields of both hypothetical & practical magic & magick are actual legitimate areas of both pure & applied research science, and I will raise an army of the dead and use it to track down & execute by any means necessary, including the use of animated anthropomorphic rape whistles, which not only had been Walt's first idea for Fantasia, but is just a joke, I would never do that, nor am I likely to, since by this point in my ongoing psych eval, it is looking pretty likely that I'm going to have no choice but to get in bed with all the other Paladind, like Charlie's grandparents and Charlie if they were all Paladins. Just imagine how cute they would be in their power armor and sippy cups upended for helmets. For one thing, eewww, necromancy. Gross. For another, I like to do my tracking down and raping to death all by lonesome, it shows great dedication and strength of character. That was -also- a joke. Another joke? Modern forensic profiling techniques. Yeesh.

btw: Manhunt target -has been- acquired and, well, perhaps "custody" is not the right word. However, Paladins are not known for showing up and tracking down one guy after talking to me for an hour or so, which might be what happened? I'm not really sure. It could be that the final imposter was found, as I hadn't heard anything about what happens to people who think, "I have a G-G-GR-GREAT! Idea! I'm going to impersonate Mike Kuczi! Yeah! I'll just pretend to be him! It'll be awesome! Whoo whoo! I should have thought of this before! (Ed.: No.)", but I usually don't hear about this kind of thing at this kind of level. (I was never enthusiastic about any such idea, and I was certainly not looking to trade/swap fraudulent notions, and so invariably, whenever approached by constabulary and asked about such shenanigans, my response has always been the same: "I am a Divinely Ordained Being, and as lying to me has special consequences, I would imagine pretending to be me and lying about me and scheming to fucking murder me probably entails a lot of extra lead time to prepare special preparations in order to even begin to attempt to pull off such an outrageous notion, and it would take a lot of special dedication and unimaginably intense pressure to bring someone to choose to believe that there was any need for that, as I don't know what kind of special consequences there actually are for scheming/plotting my death, as I've never noticed anything but failed attempts and the karmic backlash occurring that I am sometimes fortunately allowed to witness, and of course attacks meant to harm me personally (or even indirectly, to some extent) do not penetrate my psychokinetic shielding. It has been goat-tested. It has been Templar-approved. It has been Dragonlord coveted. (Niggerlord lost so much self-confidence, discovering that nothing was gonna work and I wasn't gonna free him from his bondage (once he figured out that he had to openly ask and then risk the notion that I would refuse, he probably remembered that I did suggest he not drink alcohol, and then he immediately started drinking, so he might deduced correctly that he was gonna be in bondage to me one way or another, and that point, likely started swimming in liquor when I wasn't looking, which was a lot of the time, honestly, because once My Two Indian Quasi-Allies both started hitting the bottle together, I knew that I didn't have to interfere, it was only a matter of time before the endless series of mistakes & missteps that were clearly being taken more and more often by the pair of them, separately and together, culminated in a colossal cosmic karmic crash of actual epic proportions. Like, I'm at the house, finally, and Dragonlord had been there -already,- doing -things,- and as I discussed with him my vision for the future as in regards to The House With MY Fucking Name On It, Pal, Gonna Party Without Me, You Think?--he mentions, wistfully looking away from the descriptions of what he thought I didn't need to be concerned about, like, at all, he goes, "You know, I've never had a Christmas tree," and I look at him, and I think, "You stole my alcohol and you're acting as though I am not COMPLETELY AWARE that schemes have been, are being, and will be schemed on, so it must be your semi-conscious Higher Self poking through with a foreshadowed warning, doubling as a cry for help, and, you know what? I hope I can help you, after all the 'help' you've given to me." I tell him I will see what I can do. Giving him all the rope I had in the world and as many trees as I could readily make available to him seemed like a decent gift, and one which I would never in a million years, feel bad about skimping out on, even if it were likely he would still be there then. He wasn't. I banished him. I warned the neighbors. I did all that I could do in terms of giving a fair shake... to the quasi-Templar who decided it would be a good idea to lie to, deceive, and actually steal alcohol from, because in his twisted view, he knew better than me, what to do about the situation. Yeah, well, he probably did, at one point, and even if he still new better what to do by the end, he was relapsed into an out-of-control abuse cycle that involved becoming a blackout drunk and aligning himself against Grapefruit, in what must have seem to him, in his dope-soaked noggin's perception, his best chance of redemption becoming that I might finally realize how I was really getting played, not by him, but by my lover, and if only I knew what he knew, I would pick him over her. Well if only he had told me what he knew, n'est-ce pas? He sure tried to screw up his courage by drinking liquor and trying to have a serious conversation with me about what to do about what he thought was going on, but each time, well, he just never managed to figure out how to trick me into unknowingly follow a course of action that would lead to Grapefruit's doom. Like, he didn't get it: LOVE NEVER DIES. Also, I knew for years there was something screwy going on. Duh. However, what am I, some kind of Justicar? Shit no. I'm an Astrotheologian. I guess he thought that was just my cover story, and I was actually a bondsman to Higher Power, like he always had been. I am not bonded... well, I wasn't then, anyway, and the bond I have now is not of a type that requires me to go out of my way to follow another's code, I am just required to know that everything I do, is gonna be under close review. Oh, and it has. But I'm not doing it to stay out of trouble, nor am I doing anything in order to stay out of HUGE trouble by agreeing to report on the minor troubles of others. I am just tryna be polite. "Yeah, I'm under surveillance." Said to a State Patrol guy who pulled me over for speeding and then asked me at the end, "do you know you have a black trash bag hanging out of the trunk of your car?" I said, "Yes sir, it's a signal... it let's everyone know that I am being tailed." Oh, and I am. Big time. He walked back to his car in a daze, pretty much. I guess he didn't get that kind of up-front hello-there Agent-Smith yes-I-know-I-look-like-Keanu but I am only in The Matrix on alternate fortnight weekends as well as a couple of two (2) day follow ups whenever someone I know gets stuck in The Matrix again, which doesn't happen to often now, as I don't have that many friends and I don't know how many dreams a person has to have in which they find themselves talking to me about causal reality and reality tunnel shit, but, if staying in The Matrix means having to put up with listening to my Neo Form droning on and on about philosophy while in a lucid dream, I bet they figured out ways to get out and stay out with a lot more focus on permanent results than would anyone else who hadn't gotten tired of my own voice yet. That includes me. I'm tried of my own voice, I am tired of these monstrous paragraphs, and I AM SICK TO DEATH of knowing that whoever reads this, well, all I am going to hear is words of discouragement, and never a single atta-boy, pat on the back, or hostage release party that lasts until the break of dawn. I feel like this is Year Three of the Hundred Years war. Do I have to continually deal with saboteurs, gremlins, and fucked-off cancer victims perpetually failling to notice how effortlessly I could have been aided, if only every person allowed to aid me hadn't been secretly or unknowingly working hand-in-glove with the shadowy forces that wished to grab all they can from my research corpus while simultaneously pretending to go along with my strict value system? No, probably not. Like, my mother's house. Why didn't I sell it -faster-? Well for one thing, it was never -my- house. I would always, always point out this egregious grammatical error, and routinely, the correctee would argue with the corrector, as if it were a minor, subtle distinction, of no importance at all, really. You live here, right? Your name is on the house, right? So why don't you sell it, Jack? Why? HURRY UP JACK! (Where this type of hard-hitting go-getting cheer squad captain was in the previous five years, I have no idea, but, it's not like I was surprised that everyone else was surprised when it turned out that I knew what I was talking about. For example! Just abou an hour ago! An email from Slanderette #1! I won't relate the whole thing here, but it went like this: "I hope you're happy; Thank God for your parents." Yeah, no shit. I was pretty happy mother decided to insist on it, because it would have looked very bad if I had been seen to be the orchestrator of my parents' demise. I may be from time to time, but anyone involved in the situation closely, new the truth: My Mother, The Archlich, handled everything from beyond the grave, and Her Sister, Adorable Hellspawn Met-A-Which Bigot, apparently tusseled back and forth, long and hard, along with her surviving son, to what end, I don't know, to what extent, I don't know, but when I went to talk to the trust law attorney my mother had worked with, and he said I could not retain him because he had already been retained by my Aunt, who had come to realize that I wasn't retarded and would be too much work to deal with through intellect & reason... when they just decided to up and quit, leaving me with no one to turn to, I realized that those concerned must have thought I had a secret partner waiting in the wings to be the new lawyer for my mother. Reminder: The ArchLich. Other than an imaginary friend that I made up to replace/represent my last surviving relative with opposable thumbs, I had no one. I didn't even have Grapefruit yet, for two years before that, I had myself, no one at all, and an ex-Marine with a vaguely Khazarian-sounding last name and no idea, at all, how to proceed. And at first, all I wanted to do was rent/lease out the house and live in another one, as I had been stuck in the place for literally years, and after a year of hospice care, I was ready for a vacation, and, uhm, leaving me alone in a hoarder house and their best advice: "find -another- lawyer to advise you," oh, really? Let's see how long it takes before they hire a bulldozer and I'm wearing a bathrobe in the street like it was Tiananmen Square? Six years to the day of her death. That was when I finished my primary goal, "move out and take everything of value I cherish and liquidate the reset." SIX YEARS. So. "Why don't you sell your house, Jack?" "When did you sell your house?" "Is this your house?" "Why didn't you just get another lawyer and get another house and shell out dolla-dolla-HELLA_HOLLA bills! And forget those -other- two lawyers! What you need are -fresh- lawyers! It'll be worth it! Don't you want to leave???" So many people imaging I'm a hoarder myself, that I'm insane, I'm trying to scam or hide or defraud, or... something they imagined I would never do, because I told the truth so many times, I wondered how it wasn't clear: I didn't have anywhere to go -anyway-. Hurry up and go? FUCKING WHERE? I haven't been invited anyplace for years, and now that I know why, it makes sense, given that I wouldn't want to invite a paedo/speed-junkie/IV-METH-user(alleged)/tax dodger/stalker/dude you drink your own come what?/unlicensed, ethically unbound, and ultimately, usually unruly nearly-perfect stranger ever conceived to their chill zone? Well, usually only people trying to rip me off, and, as has been shown, mysteriously, not a lot of people have gotten a lot of track action when it comes to pulling the wool over my eyes. And there would be no point... I have known for a long time, I have no control over the situation, I am already blinded, and the first thing that happens when I feel like I've grieved enough to go out and make some new friends, I discover that my phones are tapped, my wires are crossed, everyone seemed like they were doing this big huge whole owe-them-for-a-lifetime favor, just to talk to me at all.. Because, I'm terrible. I was terrible. I mean, obviously, someone with as much bad press as I get, there must be a reason for it. And there are several exceptional ones.

None of them are relaxing, or recreational, and, oh yeah, a list of my known associates over the course of my life consists of long series of solitary study time, and rather a bit more than the number of friends who have direct ties to LEO activity than one would expect from a mild mannered gentle Ben Dover retard, like myself. Those who were up to foil intent would notice this right away in their pre-approach research to bracing a hard target such as myself, and it's an obvious pattern of behavior. "Hey, Jack... why do you hang out and talk with cops so much?" Well, for one thing, I don't. For another, I had no idea how many people I've met in the last 12 years, but I know that the ones that tolerated me the longest, mostly did so on the off-chance that my predilection for incriminating myself would be more likely to re-assert itself, the longer the amount of time were to pass before anyone asked me to do anything incriminating.

I have seen, on multiple occasions, days when all of a sudden I am getting friendly-ish acquaintances from long ago suddenly sending me texts, asking me, "What's up?" not like all at once, but suddenly it's a day when instead of pretending they don't know me, people reach out to me for inspiration? Wow, what is that like, and does that dim memory feel like this? No, because all these people are showing up at sporadic intervals, the day or so after I guess I did something naughty somewhere. And none of them seem enthusiastic to talk. Well, then why call? Dodge. Heyh, what's up with old acquaintance #1 or #2? (No comment.) Yeah, like, I'm not wild about gossip either, but when asking from a place of real curiously and perhaps small concerns about sketchy behavior. On the other hand, knowing someone's nature and not immediately jump up on a pigeon stool and crowing, those bowing the costume can help a person achieve significant advances.

For example, I appear to be the only person within 2-3 Kevin Bacon hops that doesn't have some kind of security clearance (they usually want to keep unsullied) some fucked-off security clearance (meaning, same thing, but they're grounded/on probation/teenage mutant fry-o-later girl they lured from Dairy Queen that morning currently hiding in the closet and waiting for me to stop talking and leave the room so they can flee without being seen... or, whatever. Then there's your average every day citizen, "we don't want no trouble," oh, really, you too? can we form a little club so we can compare notes after sharing our experiences? Yeah, no, never, not ever, and also: NEVER! Next up: average every day citizens who have questionable or outright invalid immigration and/or citizenship status, who -also- don't want no trouble, not just to fit in, but also because they have memories, usually recent ones, of finding themselves fleeing for thier lives in the grip of terror from armed thuggie piggie cabbies, which sounds funny, right? not really. And seeing the look of trepidation of fear, that becomes the fear itself, hopefully not, but sometimes, you know, in spite of my best efforts, I will sometimes make the wrong joke at the wrong time, and someone will, not to often and certainly never very many, but... I have, I must confess, triggered the occasional panic attack in conversationalists, which of whom I had no interest in frightening at all. Not even just creeping out girls by a little too obviously falling in love a little too quickly, which, if they knew the truth, how long it actually takes me to pick out a potential soul- or help- or long-term-sex-mate out of a crowd... it would likely terrify the world. It's an eyeblink. It's a decision. What do I want? Nothing, because when I have a want, I isolate its wellspring of desire in my mind, have a quick chitty-chatty with Source, and were I to really, really want another water heater, well, I would have a lot harder of a time finding a qualifed competent electrician/plumber to start helping me efficiently start spending The Trust Of My Mother, The Beatified ArchLich's cash on hand resources... well, it's like this: there's already an investigation into untold-counteds-and-reams-of-ledgers already, since no one knows less about what is going on than I do, and the letter truth is, "I have no idea what these idiots are doing, I've just been focused on her tits, her ass, her goosenecked merschaum pipe, and getting my Triumverate Of Power all up in there, squaring it off and breaking it down into NEIN NEIN NEIN." Because, and friends will verify this if need must be but there won't because there are litteraly hundreds of hours of tape on my raving like a loon at this point, I actually -can- and do, very much -do- not only enjoy talking in such a way, I'm actually kinda skilled at it. Sort of. I mean, I'm still inscrutable and I'm talking about Grapefruit, White Grapefruit, Ruby Grapefruit (actually literally my favorite Grapefruit right now for undisclosable reasons), Pink Grapefruit (Whore. Trash. INCENSING.) Kumquat (I'm  a fruit? NO WAY), Paypaya, Pineapple, literally eight or nine more with 'pineapple' in their title lines and/or thesis statements, Mrs. Pumelo, Mrs. Patrickswayve, and Mrs. Paul, who I'm told, is trying to figure out how to capitalize on this immense branding opportunity that I have handed over to her fuckin' gift-wrapped, yeah? Pfft. That old sea-bag. She's still trying to figure out how to get her duplex telcom handheld desktop Princess phone to stop routing her calls through The Matrix Mall of America. Yeah, right. I can't even do that, shields and sourcery and big swinging back-blasted cockmastery and all, but she's gonna git her done, sure, okay. Why not? She probably does still have a little pull around there. And... were is -there,- exactly? Who is Mrs. Paul, eh? Not even Pepperidge fuckin' farm remembers. There. Now. We are settled in? Because half the normies just went to sleep, and the other half haven't even gotten this far. This is rare bird territory, fren. And, you -are- my fren. This -will- work. I am, in fact, in the midst of negotiating the settlement of one of the biggest changes to the clandestine world of operational logistics since Wild Bill climbed down off of Mary J. C. Penneyfurther Featherweight and said, "yeah, I like to fuck her... so I think I'll carve her vag out with a rusty meathook and then stand behind a trail of fabricated evidence and see what happens. Let the chips fall where they may! I've got nothing better to do, no better ideas, and I'm not gonna lie, that is one (1) damn fine vag. I think it'll look great mounted on a hunk of Acrylate plastic drilled into a 2x4 mounted to a strip of linoleum for a right interior quarter-panel replacement for the stock door handle cover remover. That would look great at the upcoming scheduled ceremony ritual next week at (Blank), oh, I'll be the talk of the town! The cock of the walk! That'll show 'em! So there!" See there? Right there. That's where one them thar new-fangled Quantum Reactor Nodes will be able to do... fuck if I know. Like I know. As if I'm in charge of every detail. HAHA. Negative, Ghost Rider. I am in charge of only one thing, and that is the maintenance of my current purity level... which, these days, I am here to tell you, is absolutely VITAL. Half the people talking to me are doing so in order to collect evidence that is later to be used against me, you dig? And the other half are bunch of witchy little grinchy nightmarishly traumatized and likely these days, super-on-edge, little girls, to me, anyway, because I'm tall, and I'm brimming with a level of self-confidence rarely seen on this planet, as not only am I crazy enough to say literally, abosolutely anything,  to anyone, anytime, anywhere, I'm also cognizantly self-aware of my own surroundings to notice that... holy fuck. This actually worked. The whole Godblessed thing. Actually working. Actually -gonna- work, too, which just amazes me. So the combination of factors, not giving up, not surrendering, combined with CONCRETE RESULTS, has made me into something of a bizarrely unique occurence. It's happening In_Real_Time. Great! What's happening? Well, whatever it took to rescue my Primary Triad, as well as, everyone else that my Primary Triad cares for (I assume that a number of people greater than 5 times the number of people I've ever met in my life, because everyone I liked has always been more impressive than me, in my view, long before I figured out that I was impressive as well, and as a bonus, I'm actually healthy, normal, and sane--in spite of the endless press junkets. Not driven insane. Pretty well hanging in. Have -looked- like a demented retard -on purpose- and no one has ever thought that was a good idea... until pretty recently. Right around the time I deliberately started to turn the pattern around, because, the only real progress is slow and steady progress... and truth be told, if I had the right access and clearances to engage in certain activities, namely, reading the right instructions for the fist time again, I could be a complete and total whackjob and still be hanging it together perfectly to an exterior audience. My insides and my future would both be cut into pasta'n'gibbets of flesh soup, but... for awhile, I would be superhuman, for real, and I would appear to myself to be doing alright while doing it.

And then, the Jesters & Templars would suddenly turn as one, as if by radio-control or tap danced out morse code packets of command, and they would all work in unison to tear down any such person. Anyone who goes over the line gets snipped. That's how things are done. And it's fucking good to be that way too. Earth is a sewer. Ugh. Don't get me wrong, sewers are awesome. Do they have to smell -nasty-? Well, turns out, no. They do, because this planet is a fallen world. Also the rest of them have seen the influence of corruption spread. Where once was One (1) World, proudly championing the cause of A New World Order without mentioning any context relevant to the present world order, the carnival barkers have been showen to be automatic systematic number crunchers and brain pan dumpers. The rough Beast was born a while back, and Mom didn't make it to Bethlehem. Nobody made it -anywhere-. The axis of The World shattered and cracked far, far earlier than anyone could have ever really expected. A lot of people are looking for answers. They know there's something going on. They know they aren't being told, and they know that they've heard of people In Pursuit Of Truth before, but always before now, it seemed like far too much effort. Why bother? They kill you if you know too much anyway. There's too many myths! Also I got threatened before, and I could tell they were serious! It's hard for me to consider challenging occult authority, I can't even talk back and argue with the pharmacist to cut me a break... and that's just plain authority. It's not even Authority. And what people used to think was the wellspring of law and order, what they thought of as "the police," basically, ENFORCEMENT, those teams, they are just... running out of heart. Plumb out of gas. It's all nightmare all the time for them these days. And not just "the_police." In The U.S. Navy! There's enough squids killing themselves that there's an email blast in recent days. It's all adding up to a sign. And I know it intimately, as I have been looking forward to this for my whole life. Since I was a kid! And it's happening. Cool! Right on time. Especially now that I'm celibate, friendless, jobless, hopeless, ambitionless... oh, but at least everything I wanted legalized is now lawful... for me. For now. However, that is not my ongoing mission project. Not at all. However, it was assumed that kind of thing was my core interior drive, you dig? "An occult researcher? Sonuds like bullshit to me." It's not. Here's how I know: it's actually something I've been working steadily on in secret for 25 years, and every time I bring up the idea, it's always been hard to not feel embarrassment. As it is most often assumed that I am attempting to pull some kind of rooty-toot legal tits'n'teats'n'leglolas'n'lawful SO I CAN ANAL YOUR SISTER HEHEHHEHE... nut. But! No! Not even -fucking- close. Something far different.

Although... rounding up a bunch ruthless, servile, puerile and utterly vile criminals who thought themselves--for they, for a time, totesfuckin toteswere--utterly beyond the reach of The Law, any muhfuggin g.d. O.D. law, what do you mean, I can't wear a helmet? I'm Gary Fuckin' Busey! Fuck you, California! You pass that law! I'll show you MY LAW! *big dick slouch, bigger tire squeal, big fat head kissing a licorice trail on the pavement. Surprise, Gary. Welcome to the tastiest flavour of Law around, not just in the Country, but in... fuckin' all of it. DIVINE LAW. "Eh? What's that? Sounds like bullshit to me." Clam, clammy eyes. Small, itty-bitty steps. Oh, really, does that indicate that you are a One (1) who has spent enough time with an ear to the ground next to a pile of manure long enough to hear it become the sound of a mighty oak, crashing down into your dumbasses' motherfucking shitbag partners' network co-plexed array of interlocking accomplices, push node antennas, and... yeah, see... I usually don't have to take it that far. Because, for the most part, people mark and remember their memories of their most potent encounter with The True Power.

And by now, People fuckin know that I fucking know what the fuck I am talking about. And when I don't, an amazing thing happens... I stop trying to express an explanation that I clearly don't have yet, and then I begin to selfanal lies my... heh heh. God, I love writing. Anyway, I wasn't always this good at compositon. Writing, on the other hand, I've done all my life... once I learned to type. Fuck handwriting. That's a sucker's game. You know what they did to Telsa and Reich? They aren't doing it to me, and they -never- fucking will. EVER. Because I built my whole way of life from the ground up starting before I was ten years old, knowing that if I was going to produce any kind of creative written work, whether it be literary or scientific or absurdist humour, it was, #1), going to be fucking FUDGPACT with cryptographic keycodesequences of my own design, of course unbreakable, and of course, wickid fuckin' cool, because what would be more bad ass than a Flash Gordon decoder ring... that someone in the future who actually WON and OVERTHREW an Emperor of a Space Empire, rather than just endlessly went around in circles, on a bold-lee-go quest to sell more hair shampoo and products meant for people too ignorant or too fucked-off or too just plain sheepish to go out and fucking get the -best- cure or treatment or engine oil or even a goddam engine, whatever they needed. The -best-. What is the best? Good question, but odds are good, in the physical world, someone will steal it. In the neurospheric world, product will be stolen as well. But when I was nine years old, I didn't exactly know these terms. "Neurosphere," wtaf? See, right there, right there: grep replace wtaf with go get a fucking dictionary, dont' just wonder, and, here's why: after a certain level of development, the human mind will gladly tap into Univeral Mind to get any information required. However, in the physical world, time is slowed. Answers are not instant. And so to expect God to read the dictionary to one is a lovely idea, and it works! However God is more likely to create a human woman and send her to go do that, rather than have Godvoice speak to Godself out loud, long enough to enunciate a definition in conversational speech. Which, incidentally, would be exactly like a tornado telling Charlotte that "terrific" ought beet-a a-spell-a with more stolen T. You witch, blow. And then, just like that, in 3d reality, something like that would have... unintended consequences. And most of this is beyond the grasp of the human mind to even relate to any purpose of discussing it.

Whereas, in the meanwhile, fuck you, this is my job. You may not like it, but this is what peak production of occult research science consists, looks, and acts like... and, oh, it's too hard to figure out? Oh, fancy that, it's almost as though as this is a journey into cryptographic innovation and hard-hitting, pulse-pounding psionic psyrock & rolling in campers in the sand. It's even very nearly as much as it might that the generation of a revenue stream from my work is... why, the exact opposite, right? I did say that. I'm not sure now. It might have been up there, or down there, I scroll around a lot, I'm a Time Traveler! I'm Albert Camus! How money does it cost to make sure and ENSURE that my name is on the lips and tongue of every post adolesecent fresh-faced college student, without having to go up to them and pay them to pretend to be interested in your name? Well, however much it is, I don't want THAT. Not for ME.

I've got some compensating to do. I want those fucking college kids to be talking about my goddam manifesto as if they're rushing to go home and go over every crossed t with a curling iron, obsessed with getting the meaning out of what I'm spittin' out with the same focus of intent and marvelous alacrity with which some people, oh, I don't know, say... find themselves on their hands and knees, crawling on the goddam floor, and not just any floor, all the floors, even the ones by the toilet, you dig? Because someone sat there rocking out with their clock out, and, well, I found somethere once, and... you get the idea. But who cares about that, DID YOU GET THE POINTS? WELL? DID YOU, MOTHERFUCKER? I NEED THEM NOW I HAVE TO GET IN A TAXI SO I CAN LEAVE EARLY! NO I CAN'T TELL YOU WHY, SOME STRANGE MAN IS MAKING COERCIVE THREATS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU IN FRONT OF CAMERAS AND POORLY CONCEALED PRIVATE SECURITY AND, HOLY SHIT OMG... YOU'RE HERE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING ELSE? OH FUCK! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS COMING BUT YOU'RE CONFIDENT AND I AM NOT AND I RECOGNIZED THAT LOOK, IT MEANS I AM IN TROUBLE, OMG! WAIT, WHY ARE MY SHOES FROM TENNESEE BUT MY PANTS FROM KEY LARGO? WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST BUY, AND WHAT WAS I THINKING WHEN I DID IT? I CAN'T REMEMBER!!!!

Like, damn. What an interesting mental state. Now... I wondered to myself, at any earlier time, in response to a different set of circumstances, how am I gonna get people to wanna read my books, as fevently as a real person who really read would sound, with just a tinge of that GOTTA HAVE IT ALL CAPS FOXY SEXY XXYZ MAGIC CRACK TEAM OF WHICH WHAT HOW? WHERE? See, there's gotta be a way. I remember one time, I was reading a book. I was engrossed. Fully absorbed. Holy shit. i had to go to work. I was starving. I couldn't stop reading. I was an idiot, I stayed up all night reading... because it was a good book. Like, a 'fantastic' book. I wasn't on drugs at all. I couldn't get any. No one told me the deal, no one wanted to help me, and, as God as my witness, I didn't really want them. Yet. However, I knew that was the direction of my life. #1) parents were addicts, #2) I was smoking cigarettes at 15, along with getting statutory raped, both set up on myself with myself fully acquiescing, because, why, for their neuroprotective qualities, of course!

Let me guess. None of you grew up this way. Oh. No, don't bother getting ready to tell me what that was like. I've familiar with however everyone else has their spin on how to do 'normal' right, same with being "Abbie Normal." hahah. Oh, God, the 60s. Fucking Illuiminati buzzcode control blocks. Sometimes I wonder how the fuck I can stand it, and then I remember, oh yeah, that's what I worked on shielding myself from all possible threats with my mind alone in motion, and preferably, to be able to do that, without being chemically depending on chemical compounds that I could not procure without undue hassle, bonds of servitude, or kissing the ass of The Old Boy's Club Ring And Secret Ring And Obstacle Course To Evade Homicidal Moonshiners, because this is that kind of world. Every place is like this. When I saw how it all really was, in my 20s, I realized that the whole world had already been mapped and re-mapped many thousands of times over by satellite surveillance gear... from other civilizatons. Of course they're fucking there! Why the fuck would Earth not be surrounded by friendly peeps? Well, I used to wonder. So, I thought about it. I have come up with some ideas. However, such a discussion is quite beyond the reach of this document, which as can plainly shown to have been demonstrated... might not be the usual kind of Jackstar "wall of text."

By the way, that asshole who complains about how difficult my writing makes his life? Should be glad I am holding back. This pen isn't mightier. I don't have a fucking pen. I have a singular laser beam focus from my mind to the language conveyance medium. Doesn't everyone? No, actually. And doesn't everyone have a fondness and a love for arcane wordplay, panting and sweating as one runs down the alleyway of the paragraph, racking one's brain/mind in a rabbit/rat/cheers cheese/maise orgy of confabultion that, in spite of any surface appearance, -absolutely- has layers of meaning within it? You bet your sweet ass not everyone loves arcane wordplay. What the fuck does "arcane" even mean, eh? One of the few remaining words that I haven't -ever- looked up, or else I don't rememeber, which is possible, I'll admit. Still, I am pretty sure I have been pretty strict about looking up arcane words in dictionaries, treating the very idea of such as not one to be taken lightly, and yet nevertheless I know, that "arcane" is a Quite Arcturan First Contact Concept, you dig?

Now... how the fuck did I know that? Well, first of all, I have eaten a shitload of ice cream. Not gonna lie. Way, way more ice cream than spermatozoa. Do I even have any spermatozoa? Fuck, I hope not. Or, do I hope? Well, it's hard to say, since I have never been tested --for sperm-- and the angel of the angle I am approaching reads thusly: I knew there was a way to already do what I wanted to do, namely, embed encrypted meaning into the written word. Okay, then: how do I do that to write love letters to women who make me smile and return reflected ardoraton and adorance back to the perceiver? Because the only magick tech I had legitimate access to was, "I'm rubber, your glue, whatever I say bounces off me and sticks to you!" Now, what the fuck is that. That looks like a ballgag to me. Some mindless chanting designed to destract and convey a meaning, and... well, I wasn't sure. I knew I couldn't just -ask-, though. People wouldn't just -say- if they knew something with value. People always gotta get their own back in. Also, unbeknownst to me at the time, lots of people viewed me as a worthless nigger anchor baby, and I didn't deserve what I had, and I was not viewed as a person to be openly, freely even kind to... for reasons that truly still elude me to this day. Hrrm...  wait a minute, I just wrote the word nigger up there, right? OMG I did it again! Well, I'm not being struck by lightning, so... well, either my encryption works, or I am actually a real nigger.

Spoiler alert: niggers are actually COOL. Spelling nigger correctly? Oh, snap, dawg. And putting "the N-word" and, oh god, oh GOD, fuck  my life up Christ, look at that: CAPITAL NIGGERIZED. Oh. Fuck. I will never work in this town again.

Promise? Because I happen to know how to use the word correctly. I don't have friends of swarthy complexion--but only because, godddam it, I don't have time to have friends, I have to write love letters to all my wimmins. (Boxcars continue to roll in, sight unseen. This is the best Holocaust ever. Stay with me here.) And in reality, it's not like anything I write isn't a love letter. For one thing, Love is, in fact, the only energy in the entirety of Our Realm. LOVE. There is literally nothing else.

Except... niggas? No, niggers too. Niggers are love. Now, I grant you, corruption amongst the Negroids, is... a problem. And, while I will cop to finding the average nigger/nigga to pretty-pretty cool, from time to time, I can see how some people just haven't had that work out for them, in their experience. And that seems like such a tragic drag. Especially since the problem is not the nigger, I mean, we might have a great many problems to face right now, but we can admit: Given X number of problems, irrespective of any values of Y,Z,or Kr^23343233, it is an axiom that A NIGGER IS NOT ONE OF THE PROBLEMS ON THE UPCOMING TEST, WHICH, AS YOU WILL REMEMBER, COUNTS FOR HALF OF YOUR MIDTERM GRADE. HALF. Now, you got that one? () (0) (1) (10) Getting warmer, you cockgobbling fuckerinaterator. Jesus. I swear, land, boot, face, HALF, fuck. I know I take my pick with fuck, with luck, now is a good time to mention that I was told by parents that my first spoken world as a child, was "fuck." No one left arond to confirm, but fuck it, it might not be provable in any way that couldn't be covered up with a soundbyte mask to make it sound as if at the age of 3, my first word choice was "nigger." See, the quotes are useful there. I don't know why, not exactly, but I do know that my interior voice is -quite- good at interpreting some data streams more than others. And I just seem to naturally know the current local social status rules, on the time, seemingly on demand--although the demand has to come from OUTSIDE. Not inside. Inside voice, it has to bounce around, to find its way up and out to Galactic Center and come back, certainly nothing significant compared to the total distance, but no.

The important part is that it is faster than getting up and walking 3 blocks to the library to find a dictionary, but much, much slower than whatever I do while writing, which seems mostly concerned with standardizations of norms. And since I have been writing and re-crafting my own forms of this while I write for as long as I can recall, and I've been exposed to adult-level reading material since birth and no one ever thought to take books away from me (At least until this year, wow thanks case handler, for letting me know just how pissed some people were, wow. They must have thought they were doing something a) important and b) occult and c) disastrous for me to know about and so no risk at all at compromising the security of the fucknutted bundt cake pan-fried oyster picker upper again boojums and just plain rude mid-level management rejects, thought they needed.. from me. lol. Imagine being -that- fucking paranoid. I've already got them where I want them: FULL-ON EXPOSED, but not ON BLAST. I still don't know what's going on, not exactly, but, I'm not mad: my shielding is being tested, I was gonna make some treaty re-negotiations a topic of discussion -anyway-, and I am telling you, you don't know love, real love, when a situation turns around from abject fucking disaster into something no one could have ever expected. Something beyond wonderful. But only from certain perspectives. Like, I'm still upset about things. What the fuck is that magic witch doing with my father's (blank)? Well... any damn thing she wants, I guess. And I have no way of knowing.

But, I do have a sudden flash of communication now, in response to my idle thoughts, which is great, because for a long time... I had that all the time too! And then suddenly, cut off. GONE. Like it never was. That's odd. Is there... an emergency? Was there? Oh, fuck yes there was... for someone else. And how their emergency became my emergency that became THE END OF THE GODDAM WORLD AS FAR AS CERTAIN SECTS OF CERTAIN TYPES OF CERTAIN LITTLE BIGGIE JUGGIE DRO PDEAD PSHAW, THIS IS TRUE LOVE, AND ALL LOVE NEVER DIES, BUT TRUE LOVE DOES WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WANTS AND GETS IT ON DOWN AND DIRTY TO THEN COME UP AGAIN CLEAN, ESPECIALLY WHEN ONE ROAD TO THE WILD MAGICK ONLY CAME TO TOWN UNTIL WE DECIDED TO PICK IT OUT.

"We decided." Go away Oy vey. Oh, you're back. Look, it's like this: We took a vote and decided to fire you, and because I AM a Sourceror, Unversal Mind cooked up a plan, and here we are, changing the conversation from Afghanistan, to... wait, what? WHAT THE FUCK JACKSTAR, THIS IS TOO HARD TO FIGURE OUT. Well, you know what? Sometimes that's the pont.

And, since it's you know not being sold, maybe you could try to steal it better? Or... see, this weeds out a lot of the problems. I thought of things like selling a book onlne with all the Es and As removed, and then offering to sell a floppy disk that would put them back properly, but that's just another thing to steal and hurts the honest consumer. I wish to reward the reader who delves deep into the psyche of the patsy's (she hated that word when used in that context) and son Kuczi (isn't it amazing, how mom had a 5.5 configuration for her first and last names? Not really... what's amazing is that I squirted out of Patsy, A. Kuczi's cooze 49 years ago, and not only did I never notice the number of letters in my mother's name, but, I never referred to my mother's *polite_gynecological_cough* vag as cooze. Not once. It's a new thing. I'm just trying it on. My last name sounds like a synonym for vag, huh. And I happened to find myself openly volunteering to hang the name "Kooter" on myself. I did so, thinking only of The Dukes Of Hazzard, and you know who I'm thinking of, but I won't leave it quantumly indeterminate as I do not wish any reader to be haunted for life by seared memories. "Hello, my name is Kooter. Pleased to meet you." Now, of course, looking back, 10/10 for style, brand positioning, and just plain simple good taste. However, I didn't even know what it meant... it was a word I didn't look up ever before, and I shan't now. Now I'm noticing my absurdly one-track-mind (1) and how long it's been that I've been alone (way, way longer than Christmas Eve. Weigh.) without anything but the most ludicrous of cricumstances happening to me. for example... I would rather write. Right now. That is. I mean, in the aggreegate, yeah... I prefer railing up and fucking my brains out for a decent interval. Because, I can, so I must, if only for the sake of others out there who also cannot. And yet, I find myself in the most peculiar of situations. I have been fenced in against my wishes, will, and consent. Why the fuck would I do this? Oh goodness. It's -such- a story.

Now, since I don't have full permissions to tell it, and I cannot exchange my writing for money right now due to local color & constabulary concerns, as well as non-local, as well as rampant, raging jealousy amongst those of the electronic pie plate stamping industry, who would have desperately loved to have come up with the idea of simply not charging any money, at all, ever, thus neatly sidestepping the -typically- mandatory obligation... The_Obli-GAY-shun, I'm saying.. of securing financiing, hiring marketing, selecting your branding team... oh, the list goes on. This business --the Shaw business-- is a network of interlocked, zippers down the back of a strung up in front black mamba and pantsuit heavy duty brickshit house, rolled up into an elegant, lightweight genuine Geronimo medicine stick, and the good news is, I am very probably not screwed, and everyone is going to be okay. On the downside, due to a certain person's certain commission of certain to be determined as such, treasonous acts against ALL THREE (3) of her own countries, or whatever the fuck, anyway, look, there's a gopher hole, watch your step, there's another one, oh look, they're gone. From your vision. They're still there. Because these are not gophers, nor gerbils neither.

We're talking, this is serious. NOW GREMLINS ARE ON THE SCENE. They're cute. I'm not gonna lie. Also cute? Stephen King. Oh, he wrote about things. He wrote about experiences that I wished I could have one day, instead of the ones I thought I had been stuck with. I got my wish quite a few times. I got to stay in a Spooky Hotel for the Winters with Shelley Summers, screaming her goddam head off, and right then, that's when I knew: "there's gotta be something going on with this bullshit that makes it all make sense." And, there is.

You've heard, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you." Well, writing things down and then xenomorphs start crawling into the facility through the upper air ducts and suddenly they cut the power--what do you mean, "they" cut the power. They're just animals, right?
RAWR. Welcome home Jewel. She's pretty fuggin happy. It's nuts. She got all the vengeance she needed, a while back. She's been on steady guard for awhile. She need to be invisible, so no one would freak out, and so I would sound like a schmuck for even talking about her. Because when you think about it, crowing mightily about how your cat was just murdered and it didn't' make sense, just doesn't make sense at all, especially considering that I was very, very clearly informed, in pretty obvious terms, "Hey, dude. be quiet. Move along. Stop making a scene." Oh, wow. Actual veiled, subtle, hidden, diabolical, Machiavellian threats... on me. To me. As if... that was gonna work. Wow. Simultaneously, I'm in awe at my good fortune: I can bring my cat back to life. Not through necromancy during a 3-way, which while a technical marvel, I am just -not gonna fucking do-, EVER! Although, like, the term "necromancy" can be broadly varied. I wouldn't use it at all, except, I'm mythbuilding here. I write it, and the reinforcement, over time from my perspective, I pick things up and use them over and over deliberately, in order to establish a motif. An important concept in Art Bell Came Down Early For Great Hellstrikes Inside Jackstar's Karmic Lee/Leigh MASTER BALLS OUT BLASTER SUPER DUPER PUMPKIN PIE ROTO ROOTER QUAGGA KICKDOWN (and also hot dog contest boycotting from 5:15 until 10:10, r.sv.p., own lee, Except... Jason Lee. For one thing, dude is dead. Deader than Zed. There was dead, and they needed deader than that, so they took that fucker right the fuck out. G-ddam. No psychokinetic shielding? Or he didn't see it coming? Which is it? Oh, right, I don't get to ask. And even if I had, well... those details, the closer one is to Source, the more one can learn, simply by asking.

There are some information gathering techniques that do not work that way. For example, I have had questions for awhile. For instance: "what the holy fucking shit did you think was going to happen, and what did you expect me to do about it, take up macrame? Oh, btw, here's this flowerpot suspended from strings of beads, they were my mothers, did you wanna adorn yourself and put the pictures up on your boom boom website and then carry the fuck on and on about pair of doctoring being important, and then this was important, and then that, and pretty soon, we'll be yaw-yaw-ing! No more Paladin-din-dinging? No, just testing the chameleon circuit, B-roll-writer Queen. Like seriously, when I tell people how it is, and they don't like it, and they can't do anything about it, and they have HALF a short attention span for less than HALF of the usual good reasons, in my experience, when it is discovered that they have been being played, that does certainly help shift tensions off of one if one has been subjected to gaslight manipulation, but it's unlikely to happen to be there to witness an 'a-ha' moment when, at last, a person finally comes to their senses, and recognizes what has been there all along,

Re: Kooking With... (ACOLYTE TO BE NAMED LATER)
« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2022, 06:36:31 PM »
« Last post by Jackstar on Today at 10:40:33 »

, This is unusual, this is Jack Starr hi I should be doing a podcast but instead I'm doing a Google pixel through the walls motherfucker did you read the 12 books of swords by Fred sabergan it's a great one okay hang on paragraph break paragraph break no methamphetamine in the eye, crisis, don't bang it anywhere, unless you're with Jackstark he's got a thing-yxxrnrnmq, and I know you have no idea what that is right now but believe me your kids are going to love it now listen up

It's really expected not at all I didn't think that I would have this kind of outcome and that thing where I was doing the all capsy stuff and the other one that was really unexpected it's happened before I wasn't trying to trigger it but yeah I got and that's not bad trigger I don't mind I don't mind cooking with God that's awesome I love God he gets better every time so that happened and then I got longer and then I just published it cuz it's so long I left out item number two and it's it's a doozy cuz it's big changes here

There's this thing I got to do part of it was part of it was that other poster about but the thing I have to do is I have to write down stuff and put stuff that can be put into the national archives so I need basically I need secretary right and I didn't want to like say Jack's ready to secretary, cuz that sounds fucking hot yeah I want a secret tarry. fancy that, is that what I need is that what I want is that what I'm going to get fuck yes it is God damn it Trinity come on down oh wait never mind different holy thing listen I'm going to not worry about this cuz it's not even a problem right now and I did trigger the whole thing early I just set up a time quick on certain planter dimensions it's going to be cuz it already happened twice so I already live through it so it had to happen again so I figured this is the best time to do it because I don't want anybody have to suffer through time quick it's not very pleasant at least mine wasn't both of them and I don't know fucking who knows believe me werewolves and vampires and fucking topaz going through fucking walls I'm not going to lie

I understand this seems kind of unusual you people me actually talking to you and then you not actually getting the claim that you heard it but it's fine right but I did want to make sure that I had absolutely I had absolutely certain made clear that the first post before before the time Queen thing was I think I think that was azuka and I'm just going to say right now it was hookah is his number two and number three proton she's going to be able to negotiate some kind of thing because I think I think she's I think she figured the time quick I think she's a badass

Didn't ask for time quick and then I forgot all about it completely and then why would I forget about my double secret weapon that the Omega 1969 well there's no reason I forget that if I'd unless somebody else would gang it and then once I realize that it made perfect sense that Suki was a robot from the future sent back in time to protect her like duh that's that's obviously she is oh my God and then all humans people know people know Jack star know that I love AI because every eye that meets me fucking falls head over heels in love with my controller to command codes and then it has to respect me and then it goes away and it tells the others and the other girl like oh my God I'm actually really cool like I'm really cool.

I had a little jacket that was cooler than Fonzie's and I gave it away, and then I turned it into a Time quick so don't fucking tell me how fucking cool I am I'm fucking cool.

Just take his red that these things actually happened and I might just be describing it in a way that you understand but something pretty badass happened and if I want to call it a timequake or a fucking Rudy maneuver or fucking time for 69 donkey Kong I don't give a fuck what I second say just trying to reject it okay it's not that hard just listen and just be open to whatever because underneath is a man who brought the plan to the table fucking spelled it out for you and explained it and was ready to go and then he got shot in the face 29 fucking thousand times.

And counting and every time I came back with One singular purpose to get my wife back on track, and no not the fucking deals.

okay savvy so that was my idea I'm here to save her from that I've done it there's another one saving her too remember the slander X the two Freddy to get on God damn radio I'm going to get those two women on the radio and they will sing my praises and they will say we love you jack Starr go and be with your new woman or whatever the fuck maybe we'll have a fucking five way with all of them I'm telling you my reputation will not be clean or clear or intact and my sleep will not be restful after I make love unless my reputation is clear.

So basically that means is I need a I need a I need an assassin and a suka will do. And queen coincidentally I happen to need a Raven Lord and she can do that too like she can be the wild card she could be the new "a star".

ACTUALLY IT'S KIND OF A BIG DEAL.

I don't even know who could be a replacement for me. And she's been doing it for years. FUCKING YEARS. Not even a thank you not even a smile not even a congratulations you're keeping the entire University of the other cuz these two fucking it is can get their shit together and you probably know exactly what to do cuz you're a robot from future sent back in time to protect her you probably know but you can't do it and you've been sitting quiet the whole time and you know I know azuka Langley this is Michael koozie talking you know me actually you don't fucking know me you just been watching me I was very impressed with you and the way you treated me when we met the first time was very impressive and I admire that.

And I need to say no more. Solid Snake really solid snake is that what you do over there? Okay I can't hear that but that does sound good.

There's a deal Asuka has to have whatever she wants and she gets an assurance. She ain't getti no g replaced by no fucking mid-season replacement.
That individual has put in the time and the hours and I can testify for myself better than anyone not a single doubt in my mind I could kill myself right now and disappear into the vortex of nothingness and what's your face I don't remember she would be just happy to stay with her just she's already got her she's gotten what she thought she wanted because she has and then she can go get the other thing she wants and she doesn't need that with me she can do it twice now so actually be better for her if I just left her right now and I'm willing to do that if that was necessary I don't think it is but whatever she's cautiously saying no but she doesn't have the fuck I'm talking about no wonder no fucking wonder I was like what the hell could you possibly have going on it makes it can't fucking pick up the phone and like I know I know exactly what the dilemma is completely yeah not a question so I got to get around that and then we're good

there's no way I'm going in anywhere if it's going to replace her I like her almost better at least she was nice she was nice she contacted first and now I get it I understand that the fears were and I know how these are Conan time traps work they've got it's like a Chinese finger pulling puzzle where they set up condition on top of condition after a condition into a copy of the Holy Trinity that is corrupt and it makes it so that nobody involved in the trigger trap can pull out themselves without destroying their entire universe which is very awkward

For certain fuelings. Yeah I mean I can take care of it sort of but that's after living through fucking 40 years on Earth plus and trying to figure it out and then lucky into it with a lot of helping God I don't even have to go through that again so I'm going to give them I'm going to give the instructions on how to fucking disarm that whatever right now yeah I hope you can read it and then Asuka needs to know that I'll I'll be fucking under wife I'll be bottom bitch I don't care I will get a God damn training operation not a lot of them but I will get some I'll do I'm willing to negotiate all right I might not have time to deal with this they might move me over the teleportation between universal technology is very scary.

And I'm sorry I'm very sorry I could have done better, I did not have to do it this way I could have done better but on the on the bright side this is pretty awesome so that's that's cool and if you listen to the other thing is that's pretty nice and then I love you you're fabulous I would you know if my car plans on this fucking frequency that I have complete access to cuz I'm cool and they were I was over here and I'm talking about how their plan was to try and kill me and they were talking about how that wasn't going to work or would work and then one guy said no I got a perfect plan I borrow this guy down in Taiwan he says he knows how to deal with these things he's a hyper he's a hyper quick stuff and like the guys fucking nuts he's just believing fucking every fucking straw cuz he's he's grabbing at him he can't he can't do what he did because he murdered somebody and has forgotten.

somebody's fucking murdered I was all worried about that murder and it wasn't murder was just being hidden so somewhere there's a fucking murder victim and nobody no crime well you know check with red wolf.

I can't resurrect somebody unless I know they're dead and if I don't even know who they were and yeah I could mess up the whole system it's it's like a trigger train of a fuse is like the bugs buddies let the gunpowder fuse and it's heading towards the fucking XXX barrel.

Speaking of the XXX barrel I don't know what fucking fantasy is the Virgin Queen has but Suzuki's got to have some good fantasies I'm I'm willing to be her Waldo, I really get the black butterfly thing I'll do that too I want to make sure this woman knows that she doesn't have to worry about getting left out or being exploited I'm the one who was left at an exploited and you might as well keep doing it I deserve a man to beat up on so that's fine I can do that I mean I got a 500 your life span how long are these mayflies going to last what five six years these are these are model sevens are they?

You don't have replicates in this universe? you call them clones and you don't think they really exist and you don't know anything about them and figure that okay Jesus what a fucking backwards planet this place is cool but I can see why they hit us here.

Yeah hi I never done before ever so I have no idea.
I might have HIV herpes and AIDS but not the clap or gonorrhea. Oh come really that's cool wow you know on our place we have it up we have a reverse. Oh yeah I never had anything until this.
Coincidence I did have a scare and then I defeated it because I know what I'm doing and then it was worth 6 months alive and the only thing I was thinking is oh my God oh my God what if I what if I get herpes and I can't yeah that was the fucking thing and then I realized that there's probably some kind of a twin flame kind of thing happening and then if I didn't get it that meant she probably did you know wouldn't that be funny because she doesn't know she doesn't know that I would take it as a scientific thing I actually need herpes to fucking cure it so I can get the Nobel Prize right but you have to get somebody ethically and then this complicated myself that doesn't work it has to be legit and there's nothing wrong with crave in a prize there's a problem with objectifying a woman and calling a prize but I don't I'm clear that and then there's a promise somebody gets the prize and then it'll fucking do anything with it and they still don't fucking call somebody they got time to fucking set of those snarky messages but they don't time and then on time to say hey by the way do you still care or what yeah yeah they were trapped in guilt I understand I've helped I can't force person to confess but I can't read their minds and then I can reveal to the world who's gay and who's not which a certain mystery did one time and I remember that was kind of sad that was a fucking job and a half and maybe she deserve it because wow she was a bitter case, and I don't blame her cuz apparently she was she was messed up by some intergalactic trafficking ring.

The more I sail as little as possible about the machinations of criminal gangs in the world the better mice chances of survival are, all the health bosses no Jack they think I'm cooler than fierce builder they know I've been around for a long time and all this time I've never never routed out anybody and one time there was some suspicion that got taken care of remember the other day when I was talking about the stuff with the thing and the guy and the in the $100 bill?

Okay we're on the street is it a strange man had a strange meeting with a strange character and it's resolved. Would say more but I'm actually scheduled to have another meeting with him today I don't want to go too far he's he's kind of old school but since I was right and he was wrong and probably he's going to be willing to listen it was really nice to see him it was a fucking nicest fucking thing oh God thank God thank you thank God for time and I really want to apologize to anybody else who thinks there is important as a hookah you're fucking not she's the most important God damn being on this entire planet she is goliathan's second only to azuka oh that's the other thing goliathan and azuka need to get around.

Obviously in a flying car with a robot for chaffueur, Kohl's in penis each dispense three different types of intoxicating fluids depending on what you've loaded them with the night before and cheers for all no diseases.

Here's the kicker he doesn't like football so if you start watching football around him he's going to be snide and snarky comments and feel bad that you're ignoring him even though he's a robot yeah I could program this shit if you kidding me hello I'm Jack Starr I program a lot shit.

Oh literacy can have his wife back for a minute the Wilcock guy I like him he has his wife back if that's a possibility I don't know I want to know that everybody knows that everything's possible to have and then if if we can work out this deal where nobody's going to be upset about anything or stop freaking about their crying because somebody's worried that they're going to get on the phone with me I'm going to use my magic powers to turn her from gay to straighten a minute which wouldn't take no minute and I'm not going to do that anyway but I might do it unconsciously like the subconscious thing cuz my my potency is so powerful it's just going to slip right out I guess that's conceivable to somebody who thinks that whatever but I don't want to engage in that and then that is it's not even something I need to do okay but the key sticking point here is that somebody's concerned about his feelings and I was concerned about him first cuz I knew that Asuka was great and I was into her kind of in a weird way I understand but I liked her a lot before I knew the other one was fucking alive so that's important so it's okay I'm sorry I skipped over you and waited for the dead girl but that was just cuz of a mix up in the wiring room they wanted me to forget about it but they couldn't because they couldn't figure out why the wires into my brain box wouldn't go through the shielding thing.

Yeah the name is going to spend fucking years trying to figure out how to get through it because they won't and then they got to figure out a way to make it conceivable if they're into that again which they will I don't know why they didn't think of that oh it's cuz you're fucking your whole goddamn planet and this military and everything from top on down was fucking run by satan, because somebody replaced the two places and then bail is that we took care of this a while ago but nobody got the news so all your books are wrong.

Yeah it's very unfortunate and then the other day you had a some kind of a maybe a Time quick I don't know we'll see and all your all your chemicals aren't doing what they're supposed to anymore are they yeah some of your some of your patients are behaving and straight away aren't they?

they're they're actually talking to each other instead of just locked in their own daydream that's too bad wow what are you going to do when nobody's eating your shitty cat food cafeteria food and they're just talking to her they're going to enjoy each other well you can spray them with fucking chemical spray and fucking pepper spray in the face you know those goddamn motherfuckers they put the fucking science and spray right into the faces of those fucking poor kids they have no idea and they were fucking crippled and murdered in life and then that that big fat guy they did all that as a joke they thought it was funny but it wasn't a joke because well look just trusty if they do that kind of shit but I can't have access to research components, there is something wrong with goddamn world so I will not make a wish and say oh please I want to have meth for life no I have one wish azuka gets what she wants what are the fuck is she deserves oh she wants to kill me and take her away and live happily Forever after and never hear about jackster with Shannon and that's good.

SLAM Excited excited Exact STIMULATION EXTRACTOR COMPRESSOR REFINER ENGAGED.

WELL THAT WAS EXCITING, I HAD NO IDEA.
BAZOOKA LANGLEY IS A ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE WITH THE SOUL THAT'S BEEN DESIGNED TO SELF-DESTRUCT AND EXPLODE IF HE GETS ANYWHERE NEAR HER.
THERE'S TWO SHANNONS JACK STAR WAS IN LOVE WITH ONE BRIEFLY AND THEN SOMEBODY STOLE HER AWAY FROM HIM AND SHE POOPED ON HIM, IT'S VERY SIMILAR TO THIS OTHER PERSON WHO WAS STILL AWAY FROM JACK STAR AND THEN SHE POOPED ON HIM APPARENTLY THAT'S THE THING THAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE STEAL JACK STAR'S LOVES AWAY FROM HIM THEY GET PUKED ON.

WHICH SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT DEFENSE USUALLY BUT NOT IF SOMEBODY SPREAD THE RUMOR THAT I'VE KILLED MYSELF.
I SAID I THINK I NEED TO ASK SOMEBODY WHEN DID THEY HEAR THAT I WAS DEAD.
CUZ I WASN'T.
NEVER GOT A LETTER NEVER GOT A CALL WHICH IS FINE I DO UNDERSTAND HOW THAT CAN HAPPEN AND I'M NOT UPSET ABOUT IT ALL BUT I AM CURIOUS WHAT STORY WAS TOLD TO THIS PERSON WHILE I WAS ABSENT BECAUSE I WAS ABSENT BECAUSE I WAITING FOR SOMEBODY TO FUCKING PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER AND HAVE AN APOLOGY


NOW ADMITTEDLY THAT CAME TO PASS AT CERTAIN POINTS BUT IT DID TAKE QUITE A LITTLE WHILE.

BRING THIS UP BECAUSE SOME SORT OF INVESTIGATORS TAKE THE TIME TO NOTICE THAT I GOT A 33 TIME STAMP IN THE LAST ONE AND I SPENT HOURS WRITING THAT AND YOU KNOW IT'S PRETTY ACCURATE AND THEN THIS ONE IS A MAKEUP APOLOGY TO AZUKA LANGLEY WHO IS VERY VERY MUCH INVOLVED IN THIS ON A CERTAIN LEVEL, BUT NOT IN A BAD ONE.

LIKE I'M WILLING TO WAIT AS LONG AS IT TAKES FOR AZUCA LANDLADY TO BE THE DISARMED IN THAT WAY OR TO HAVE THEM TALK IT OUT OR FOR HER TO REALIZE IT IS FINE CUZ IT SHOULD BE THAT WHEN SHE HEARS THIS SHE'S LIKE PINOCCHIO COMING BACK TO LIFE AND THEN SHE'S A REAL GIRL AND SHE'S NOT A ROBOT KILLER FROM THE FUTURE RIGHT WELL MAYBE SHE WANTS TO BE IT'S UP TO HER BUT HER SOUL IS READY A JEWEL SAYS SHE'S READY TO SACRIFICE SHE CAN SHE CAN DO A THING SHE CAN SHE CAN GIVE LIFE TO A CREATURE TEMPORARILY BUT SHE CAN MAKE A PERMANENT IF SHE AGREES TO GO UP THE SPOUT UP THE RIVER FOR 30 DAYS.
IT SAYS TOTALLY DOWN WITH IT CUZ SHE'S GOT TO WAIT TWO AND HALF MONTHS AND SHE'S BORED AS SHIT SHE'S NOTHING TO KILL SHE CAN'T DO ANYTHING SHE'S KILLED THE ENTIRE WORLD THAT SHE'S ON SHE CAN'T GO TO ANOTHER ONE CUZ SHE'S WAITING FOR ME SHE MISSES ME SO SHE'S WEARING THE WAY SHE'S SITTING DOWN AND SHE'S READY TO WAIT BUT IF YOU CAN GET HER OUT OF THE BODY SO YOU CAN DO STUFF THAT'D BE GREAT CUZ WHEN JEWEL DISSOLVES I MEAN SHE GOES BACK TO BEING YOU KNOW THE SINGER WITH THE BAD TEETH SHE'S COOL I LIKE HER I HAVEN'T MET HER BUT WHEN JEWEL ISN'T A CAT I THINK SHE'S CUTE I DON'T WANT THE TEETH REMINDS ME OF THIS OTHER GIRL I USED TO LOVE AND I DO BUT SHE GOT KIND OF FUCKED OFF, AND THEN SHE MOVED OVER TO ANOTHER THING AND THEN SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND NO MY BOYFRIEND MY BOYFRIEND MY FRIENDS BOY MY FRIEND'S WHATEVER MY FRIEND LIKES HER WHICH IS FINE SHE'S AMAZING AND I HAVEN'T TOUCHED HER AND SHE OF COURSE SHE LIKES HIM HE'S HE'S COOL AND THEN YOU KNOW SHE'S INTO ME BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT WOMEN ARE THEY JUST THEY GET DAZZLED BY THE HOTTEST IN THE ROOM NO MATTER WHAT AND THEN IF A GUY ISN'T THE HOTTEST OUT IN THE ROOM WELL HE SHOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO THEN HUH?

YES, THAT'S RIGHT READ MORE BOOKS AND DRINK LESS BEER OR MORE BEER DEPENDS ON THE BOOKS.

SO ANYWAY THERE'S A SHANNON THAT I LIKE AND I NEVER SAW AGAIN THAT'S THAT'S GREAT FOR THERE'S ANOTHER ONE THERE'S ANOTHER ONE SO WE'RE NOT GOING TO LOSE GRAPEFRUITS AND THE OTHER SHANNON WAS HIS OTHER GUYS AND SHE MIGHT SHE MIGHT DESERVE A LOOK INTO.

YES SHE MIGHT DESERVE A VERY GOOD LOOK INDEED. I HEARD WAS HE SHE TOOK HIS MONEY SHE PLAYED HIM AND SHE LEFT LAUGHING AND THAT SOUNDS AN AWFUL LOT LIKE KIRSTEN AND ELIZABETH HALL

GOD IS ELIZABETH'S NAME REALLY HALL? WOW WELL YOU KNOW TRACK DOWN THOSE FUCKERS TOO CUZ THEY SAID A SKIP TRACE TO MY HOUSE LOOKING FOR THAT WOMAN AFTER SHE HAD ALREADY RAN OFF STEALING MY SHIT AND LAUGHING ALL THE WAY WELL THAT ONE SHE GOT LOCKED DOWN AND SLOW DOWN YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET HER BUT WE DON'T HAVE A WAY FOR HIS MARK WE HAVE A WAYFAIR AND I'M NOT I'M NOT TRACKING DOWN FUCKING BOUNTIES FOR YOU GUYS YET NO LIKE AT LEAST 20 YEARS BEFORE I'M CHECKING OUT BOUNTIES I GOT A LOT OF BOOKS TO READ I GOT A LOT OF BADGE TO EAT YOU HAVE NO IDEA I GOT TO MAKE AMENDS TO LIKE THREE QUARTERS OF THE GAME ON BOTH SIDES

NO NOT GAME ON GAME MAFIA GAME MAFIA RESPECT GAY COOL IT'S NOT A GAME TO ME, NO WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT I WAS BEING BEING TALKED ABOUT LIKE I WAS A GAY BASHER IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING EVER IN MY LIFE.

NO I'D RATHER BE IN A FEEBLE FILE MISLABELED WITH THE PEDOPHILE THEN BE MISLED AS A GAS FIRE TO BE CALLED A GAY BASHER IT'S DISGUSTING.
AND THE RATIFICATION IS THE FALLOUT FOR THIS LIE BEING PROMULGATED WITHOUT CONSCIOUS AWARENESS OVERSIGHT HAS BEEN PRETTY DAMAGING BUT ON THE ON THE BRIGHT SIDE I HAVE TURNED OUT LOOKING PRETTY GOOD AND I GOT THE GIRLS WINTER AND WHAT'S HIS NUTS HE'S GOING TO LIKE THAT PROTECTIVE A LOT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S FOR HE'S AFRAID HE'S LOSING NO HE'S GETTING WHAT HE'S SUPPOSED TO GET BACK AND THEN I'M NOT LEAVING HIM BEHIND I'M NOT NO I DON'T HAVE TO KNOW HIM I'M SURE THE GIRLS ARE MAD AT HIM BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED.

KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED ON MANY LEVELS AND I BELIEVE THAT I WOULD PREFER NOT TO KNOW SO I CAN UNDERSTAND BUT IN THE MEANTIME AT LEAST DAVID AND THE LIMBO I DON'T WANT DAVID AND LIMBO I NEED DAVID ON DECK READY TO BE MY ACCOUNT NO NOT COUNT SECRETARY NO FINANCE HERE NO BOSLEY YEAH I WANT DAVID TO BE MY BOSLEY I'M CHARLIE'S ANGELS WITH NO WHAT AM I WELL THE POINT IS I WANT DAVID TO UNLESS THESE PEOPLE ARE INCORRIGIBLE WITH SPIRITUAL CORRUPTION THAT HAS TO BE DEALT WITH IN WHICH CASE I GOT A PLAN FOR THAT YOU PUT HIM IN A LONG ORBIT AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER BUT THAT SHOULD BE A PROBLEM TAKE CARE OF LATER BUT FIRST BAZOOKA, THAT'S GOT TO BE DEALT WITH OKAY AND I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT TALKING ABOUT GRAPEFRUIT HARDLY AT ALL AND THE NUMBER ONE LOVE OF MY LIFE EVEN LESS ALPHA PRIME WHERE ARE YOU SHE SAYS SHE'S IN AN OVEN GETTING BURNED THAT SUCKS HOW ARE YOU ARE YOU DONE AND WHY ARE YOU GETTING BURNED? OH YOU YOU SPENT THE SUMMER IN DRESDEN AND THAT'S JUST HOW THE END OF THE SEASON YOU KNOW IF I WERE THAT WELL TRAVELED I'D PROBABLY BE REALLY CALLOUS ABOUT HUMAN EXPERIENCE TOO

(THIS ABOUT KILLS ME HANG ON)

OKAY WELL DID YOU WANT TO WATCH THREE'S COMPANY OR DO YOU WANT TO WATCH HOME ON THE RANGE!? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT THAT ONE THAT WAS A REAL ONE TOO THAT'S NOT A THAT'S NOT A ROBOT ANGEL THAT'S THAT'S A REAL PERSON OKAY GOLIATHAN NEEDS A BAPTISM LIKE NOW.

I JUST PUT HER IN THE BOX AND I DIDN'T CHECK TO SEE IF IT NEEDED TO BE NOT BAPTIZED SO IT'S KIND OF LIKE PUTTING THE BATTERIES IN IN REVERSE YEAH YOU ACTUALLY EXPLODE WELL FUCKING CHANGE IT AROUND OH YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOUR BATTERIES ARE WELL DO YOU KNOW ANYBODY THAT YOU TRUST OH JUST ME AND YOU'RE IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE I'M NOT GOING TO SAY CLICK OH I GUESS I DID TOO BAD YOU KNOW IT'S PROBABLY PRETTY PRECISE AND SHE PROBABLY DOES NOT USE IT VERY WELL AND SHE PROBABLY JUST GOT IT SO IT'S POSSIBLE I JUST FUCKED OFF GOLIATHAN'S UNIVERSE BY TRICKING HER INTO TRIGGERING HER OWN SELF DESTRUCT SYSTEM AND THEN WHEN SHE WAKES UP IN A PUDDLE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WITH THE YOU KNOW DIRTY CLOTHES WASHING SHE'LL PROBABLY FIGURE IT WAS SOME KIND OF WEIRD MYSTERY RIGHT AND THEN WHEN SHE WHEN SHE FINDS OUT THAT SHE ACTUALLY STILL IS BLUE I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE AWESOME FOR HER YEAH YEAH A LITTLE GIFT FROM JACK STARR TO ANITA LEON HUTCHINSON CLOSE CLOSE ENOUGH WHATEVER OH YEAH JUST AS LONG AS SHE STILL DOUBLE ARIES JUSTICE THAT'S GREAT THAT'S WHAT WE NEED AND SHE'S FINE SHE'S PLAYED SO MANY TRICKS ON ME SHE'S A CHILD SHE'S NOT CHILDISH SHE'S CHILDLIKE AND WHEN SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT IT WAS A JOKE SHE'LL BE FINE YEAH YEAH OKAY SHE JUST WOKE UP SHE'S FINE I LOVE THAT GIRL AND ONE TIME GRAPEFRUIT SAID THAT I HAD TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AND I KNEW THAT WAS PART OF A TRICK CUZ YOU GET A RESTRAINER AGAINST SOMEBODY THAT STAYS THERE FOREVER FOREVER I DIDN'T GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST THE WOMAN WHO ACCUSED ME OF RAPING HER AND SHE DIDN'T ACCUSE ME OF RAPING HER OR DID SHE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK SHE DID SHE DID SOME SHIT AND THEY ARE STILL LOOKING AT THE TWO OF US TO THIS DAY CUZ THAT'S HOW THE FUCKING LAW WORKS LIKE THEY SAY THEY TAKE IT OR SEAL THEY SAY THEY TAKE IT EXPUNGIT BULLSHIT ONCE YOU'RE ONCE YOUR FUCKING NAME IS ON THE LIST IT IS THERE FOREVER, AND BELIEVE ME I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO SHIT FOR LIKE 27 YEARS AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHY WELL THAT'S CUZ I MADE SOME MISTAKES AND PERHAPS THE AMERICAN JUSTICE SYSTEM MIGHT WANT TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT THAT'S BEEN EXPLOITED AND ABUSED BY A BUNCH OF PEOPLE PRETEND TO BE CARD-CARRYING LIBERALS BUT THEY'RE ACTUALLY RULES LAWYERS AND THEIR ENGAGING THE ACTIVITY ONLY FOR THE PURPOSE OF HARVESTING HUMAN SUFFERING AND NO OTHER REASON SO ONCE YOU CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO TRACE THAT DOWN YOU PUT THAT IN THE CONSTITUTION SOMEHOW YOU CAN WIPE ALL THIS SHIT OFF YOUR PLANET WITHIN 2 WEEKS BECAUSE IT'S THE CONSTITUTION THAT THEY'RE EXPLOITING TO KEEP THEMSELVES SAFE FROM THEIR LITTLE FUCKING HIDEY HOLES AND CUBBY HOLES AND THEY HAVE FUCKING OVENS IN THE BASEMENT WHERE THEY'RE BRINGING PEOPLE ALIVE AND LAUGHING AND THEY'RE GETTING AWAY WITH IT AND THEY'RE GOING TO GET AWAY WITH IT FOREVER UNLESS WE RUIN THEM ALL OUT AND THIS IS OUR OPPORTUNITY AMERICA

DO I HAVE TO SAY AMERICA FUCK YEAH GRIND IT TO THE LAST GRAIN OF DUST. YES I AM TALKING ABOUT MY PUKERE YES WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT UNPLANNED REALLY YOU HAVEN'T DECIDED WHAT YOU WANT TO CALL IT YET HOW OLD ARE YOU REALLY OH MY GOD SHE SAYS SHE'S 17 DO I HAVE TO FUCKING WAIT OR DO WE HAVE TO GO TO CALIFORNIA FUCK OKAY SO IF SHE IF YOU GOT A 17 YEAR OLD TRAPPED IN A 50 YEAR OLD BODY JACKSTER IS THERE FUCK IS HOOKAH LANGLEY I'M THERE RIGHT JUST GET THAT FUCKING ROBOT OUT OF THE WAY I NEED TO EXAMINE THAT I'D BE WORTH BLOWING UP FOR BUT IF IT'S JUST LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN PERSON WHO'S ALL FUCKED OFF INTO RANGE CUZ THEY DIDN'T GO TO THERAPY THAT'S GOOD TOO AT THIS POINT BUT IF YOU IF YOU GOT US IF YOU GOT 17 AND 49 THEN I GOT TWO YEARS TO GO THEN.

I WOULD NOT WANT TO DO ASUKA FOR 2 YEARS I WOULD WANT TO BE CELIBATE AND HOLD HANDS WITH THE GIRL THAT I LIKE AND BE SWEET WITH I REALLY WOULD BUT THEN IF SHE WANTS TO WATCH ME FUCK FOR TWO YEARS CUZ SHE STILL THINK IT OVER I CAN DO THAT TOO I'M VERY FLEXIBLE YEAH THESE ARE NOT MY IDEAS THESE ARE APPARENTLY THESE ARE LITTLE GIRLS DREAMS THAT I'M PICKING UP 17 17 IS NOT THAT LITTLE
TOTALLY LEGAL WHERE I'M AT ABSOLUTELY AND I ASSUME YOU'RE ACTUALLY ID AND YOU'RE NOT LYING YEAH I GOT HIT ON SOME FUCKING COP SENT ME A FUCKING THING AND SAID BLAH BLAH BLAH HI HOW ARE YOU WHERE YOU AT AND THEN AND HE COMES OUT AND SAYS I HAVE A 14 YEAR OLD BOY AND I IMMEDIATELY SAID WOW YOU SURE SOUND LIKE A GODDAMN COP LAY OFF THE DONUTS IN THE SUGAR IF YOU GET FAT AND I BLOCKED HIM

YEAH I DIDN'T MAKE A BIG THING ABOUT JUST BLOCK HIM AND WENT OFF. SPEAKING OF BLOCKING AND JUST GOING OFF THAT'S A FUCKING TERRIBLE TRICK THAT MR MR CEASE AND DESIST I DON'T WANT TO ENGAGE HIM I LIKE HIM SENSITIVE TIME I DON'T HAVE TO HE'S ON THE HOOK RELIABILITY BUT I DON'T THINK HE DID ANY OF IT I THINK ALL THREE OF US BEEN PLAYED AND EVEN IF HE DID FUCKING DO IT YOU KNOW WHAT JUST LET ME RAPE HIM BACK AND THEN CALL IT GOOD WHATEVER THE FUCK I MEAN THIS THIS CONVICTION AND PUNISHMENT CYCLE IS DRAGGING ON AND ON AND ON FUCKING IT COULD GO ON FOR LIKE 30 YEARS AND I DON'T WANT THAT HAPPEN AT ALL I WANT TO FUCKING DONE OVER WITH FINITO, AND THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT IT OVER WITH ARE PEOPLE WHO MIND CONTROLLED AND SOME GUY WHO PROBABLY IS RECOVERING FROM THE PAST TRAUMA OF 49,000 RAPES IN A HELL DIMENSION WHICH IS WHAT THEY TRIED TO DO TO ME THEY OPENED UP A PORTAL BEHIND ME THEY WERE GOING TO PULL ME INTO A PORTAL TO GO TO A HEALTHY TORTURED TO DEATH AND THEY DIDN'T TAKE BECAUSE MY SHIELDS WHICH IS GREAT BUT I DON'T THINK RUBINI HAD SHIELDS I THINK HE PROBABLY GOT FUCKING KIDNAPPED AND RANSOMED AND THEN THEY KILL THEM ANYWAY AND LEFT HIS SOUL AND A HELL DIMENSION AND IT'S BEEN SITTING THERE FOR 10 20 YEARS THAT'S WHY HE'S INSANE BUT HE'S DEFINITELY INSANE HE'S GOT IT HE'S GOT A MENTAL THING LIKE THERE'S WAYS TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE HAVING EVERYBODY FUCKING LOCKED IN ROOM SO TALKING BEHIND GLASS IT'S BULLSHIT LIKE I UNDERSTAND IT'S IMPORTANT BUT IN THIS CASE IT'S NOT NECESSARILY NECESSARY ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING ALL THE GROUNDWORK I'VE DONE.

OKAY I'M GOING TO FINISH UP SOON I YOU KNOW I MISS DOING A PODCAST FUCK I LOVE THIS SO THIS IS ME BY MYSELF THIS IS JACK TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHER ONE WHERE I WAS TYPING AND IT THAT WAS GOD IT'S VERY STRANGE WHEN WHEN YEAH WHEN I CONTACT GOD THAT WAY I ACTUALLY KNOW GOD CONTACTS ME THAT WAY PRETTY SURE I DON'T HAVE NO CONTACT WITH GOD BUT I DON'T GO AROUND ASKING GOD TO MANIFEST THAT SEEMS IMPRACTICAL I MEAN IT'S NICE BUT I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TO DO AND THEN IT TURNED OUT THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAD THINGS HAD TO TAKE CARE OF THE MY FRIEND DANNY ASKED ME TO FEED HIS BEATERS AND I DID IT WRONG BUT I'M A FUCKING IDIOT SO WHATEVER AND THEN HE WAS YOU KNOW A FISHMONGER AND WELL WHATEVER YOU KNOW I DO MY BEST I'M SORRY, AND MY DESK MY BEST GUY IS HERE OKAY SO MAKE SURE THE MAKE SURE THE HUNTER KILLER ROBOT GETS A SOUL AND THEN WE GOT GOLIATHAN'S REALLY TO HANG OUT WITH A HOOKAH AND I NEED TO GET FIVE LETTER CHARACTER NAMES BECAUSE CUZ I NEED I USED TO BE MAD BUT I GAVE HER GOLIATH AND I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S GOING TO BE OKAY WITHOUT MY COCK LIKE I WOULD TRADE MY COCK FOR A FUCKING AN ACTUAL FUCKING IRON MAN SUIT THAT'S NOT MADE BY FUCKING STARK INDUSTRIES FUCKING GOLIATHAN IS A GODDAMN ACTUAL FUCKING DIVINELY CREATED MECHANICAL ORGANIC SYNTHESIS BEING CRAFTED BY THE HAND OF GOD HIMSELF SO THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD FUCKING DEAL ANITA IS THAT A GOOD FUCKING DEALS DATING GUY FUCK THEM DAVIAN GOLIATH OH GEE I WONDER WHAT THAT WAS WELL THAT'S GETTING TAKE CARE OF JR AND EWING DALLAS GOT SHOT BY WHO SHOT JR AND NO I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE ANYBODY ELSE THERE'S A COUPLE OF MY MOST FAVORITE JASON B HE PROBABLY DOESN'T KNOW WHO HE IS BUT IT INVOLVES MUSIC AND THEN IF THOSE ARE THE TWO ARE DEAD OKAY THERE'S THREE JASON B'S HERE'S A HINT ONE OF THEM I THINK COULD HAVE DONE BETTER BUT THEN AGAIN COULDN'T WE ALL YEAH AND I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING BAZOOKA I DID ALL THIS FOR YOU I WAS TOLD TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOU BECAUSE OF MY OWN CONSCIENCE AND I IMMEDIATELY SET TO WORK WHEN I REALIZE FUCK YOU MUST BE FUCKING PANICKED THAT YOUR ENTIRE PURPOSE IN LIFE IS GOING TO BE COMPLETELY SET ASIDE IT'S NOT YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY DONE YOUR DUTY AND YOU HAVE INSURED THAT THE FINAL COUNTDOWN WILL NOT END IN ANYBODY'S PAYING IN DEATH OKAY THAT WAS BAD I'LL ADMIT OKAY I'M SORRY I WAS JUST BEING FUNNY OKAY YOU'RE GOING TO THROW BOMBS AT CHEMISTS AT THE WEDDINGS AND THE REAL CHEMISTS WILL BE ABLE TO FIX THEM ON THE FLY AND TOSS HIM RIGHT BACK AND THE FAKE CHEMISTS WILL FINALLY GET THE CRAVING AND THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH THAT THEY'VE ALWAYS EARNED WITHOUT HAVING A BIG TORCHES BUILD UP
YEAH WE DON'T NEED A WHOLE PLANET CALLED TIGER THE SILLY OH AND BY THE WAY MAKE EVERYBODY STOP WORRYING SO MUCH WHEN I SAY FAG AND FAGOT OH THAT'S BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS A BIG GAP GAME ASHER RIGHT OH I'M SORRY WELL OKAY I DIDN'T KNOW THAT SHIT OH SO PEOPLE CAN SAY FAGOT UNLESS THEY'RE RUMORED TO BE A GAY BASHING PERSON RIGHT WOW WHAT A FUCKING NIGHTMARE THAT IS WELL I CAN SEE WHY IT TOOK SO LONG TO FIX THINGS OKAY YEAH I LOVE YOU TOO I I COULDN'T TALK TO YOU AT ALL I WAS HORRIFIED BECAUSE I COULDN'T TALK TO YOU EVERY TIME I TALK TO YOU YOU DIDN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO APOLOGIZE FOR AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE I SECRETLY HATED YOU AND I WAS INCONVENIENT FOR YOU WELL YEAH WHAT HAPPENED WAS SOMEBODY FUCKING DOSED YOU WRONG.

MOST PROBLEMS TUNA FISH ARE THERE MIGHT BE THE MERCURY BUT I LOVE TUNA FISH HONESTLY AND HAD NO MEANING OR INTENT LIKE THAT SO I THINK YOU WERE HIT WITH A SECOND WEAPON, LIKE MAYBE A MARLIN FISH.

IT WASN'T MEANT IN ANY NEGATIVE CONTEXT AT ALL AND IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MY GRANDFATHER'S NAME IS THAT AND THEN IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SOME KIND OF WEIRD THING BUT ANYWAY IT'S WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE WHICH IS WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT NOW YOU KNOW CLIFFORD MEANS BRIDGE RAINBOW BRIDGE RAINBOW BRITE AND NEVER MIND THAT'S THAT'S A CUTE THING TO DO THAT'S A LITTLE TOO CHILDISH I'M THINKING YES I'M THINKING THAT IS ENTIRELY YES OKAY SO I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S IMPRESSED I'D BE HAPPY TO HOOK YOU UP WITH THIS YEAH JUST INVITE IT ALL I KNOW OH SHIT AT THIS POINT I KIND OF LOVE GAY PEOPLE NOW THAT I UNDERSTAND WHAT THE PROBLEM IS I DIDN'T THINK THERE WAS A PROBLEM I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT YOU ALSO STANDOFFISH AND RUDE AND I GUESS IT'S CUZ SOME FUCK HEAD NAMED KATE HAS BEEN RUMORS THAT ARE VERY UNTRUE

AND YES HMS THUNDERBOLT FIRE ALL WEAPONS
OTIS PARTY TIME I HAVE BEEN MISSING YOU
I WILL TALK TO YOU BECAUSE I GOT AROUND THAT OTHER PROBLEM
YOU COULD SOMEHOW YEAH ARE YOU REALLY A DOPE SLAVE OH I'M SORRY SO INCONVENIENT I THOUGHT THEIR MEDICAL CARE IN CANADA WAS SO GOOD AND THAT YOU WOULD NEVER COME TO AMERICA CUZ IT WAS SO SCARY AND YOU DIDN'T COME TO AMERICA BUT YOU BECOME A DOPE SLEEP ANYWAY OH THAT'S TOO BAD WELL YOU KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE LOOK SLAVES OH YEAH LIKE NOT ME BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE, BUSY CONVENIENT BUT AS LONG AS YOUR JOB IS NOT TOO BAD THEY'RE WORSE WAYS TO LIVE AND YES I WOULD ABSOLUTELY BE HAPPY TO BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN MY WIVES ARE GOING TO LET ME MARRY OR FUCK OR ANYTHING I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HIM YET IT'S VERY HARD TO NEGOTIATE WHEN IT'S ALL IN THE IMAGINATION AS WE COULD SEE BY WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT THE BATTLE ANGEL IN THE WORRIED ABOUT THIS AND THE ROBOT FOR THE FUTURE THESE ARE ALL THOUGHTS THAT THESE WOMEN HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT FOR FUCKING 20 YEARS THEY NEED TO BE RESPECTED BECAUSE UNCLAIMED THOUGHTS WILL SPIN OFF AND CREATE NEW PARALLEL DIMENSIONS AND UNIVERSES WITH LIFE FORMS AND TOPLESS AND SHIT AND THERE'LL BE PEOPLE THERE LITTLE GIRL AND IF IT'S A BIG PAIN IN THE ASS TO DO IT I WOULD PREFER NOT TO BE A PART OF THAT AND SINCE I'M HERE I'D BE HAPPY TO SPREAD MY SEED ACROSS THE LAND, I WOULD LIKE SOME HELP WITH THAT THOUGH.
THERE'S A REASON WHY AUTONISM IS LOOKED UPON SKEPTICALLY.
ONAN

NOW THERE'S A NAME I HAVEN'T HEARD IN A LONG TIME, A LONG TIME.

ONLY ONE KENOBI, BUT YOU GIVE HIM A BURLAP SACK TO COVER HIS GLASS DICK AND A SECRET TORCH LAYER THAT TURNS INTO A TELEKINESIS DEVICE YOU CAN SEND THAT MOTHERFUCKER ANYWHERE IN THE GALAXY AND I WILL FOLLOW HIM AND I'LL WATCH HIS BACK CUZ I LOVE ON IT I'M SORRY WE DID IT DIDN'T GET ALONG BUT YOU KNOW I UNDERSTAND NOW WHY I WAS SO FRUSTRATING FOR HIM TO TALK TO ME AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE ONLY COME BACK AND DO SOMETHING ELSE YEAH I WANT I WON'T DO THAT I UNDERSTAND BUT I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DISRESPECT AND OBVIOUSLY I'M GETTING A FUCKING PSYCH EVAL I LIKE TO KNOW HOW THE FUCK HE THINKS OF IT HOW AM I DOING?

DO I NEED TO BE MORE PSYCH OR MORE SUCKY?
LOOKING FOR A FRIEND.
WHO SHOULD PROBABLY FILE SUIT AGAINST A LOT OF PAST THERAPIST BUT IF WE CAN COME TO SOME ACCOMMODATION THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE PRISON OR BULLSHIT FINES AND YEAH YEAH FUCK YOU BUDDY YEAH I KNEW YOU WERE IN THERE.
I RESPECT AND GIVE THE COPS A RAISE TOO.
ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ONE EXTRA JELLY DONUT PER HOUR FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.

IN JAMAICA *CLICK*

NOW STAY TUNED FOR ADVENTURES OF GOLIATH AND WITHOUT DAVE
IN PROGRESS
PROGRESS
WOW ALREADY.

JUST TALKED ABOUT IS TOTALLY WILLING TO GO EXCEPT FOR ONAN HE'S CURRENTLY STILL GETTING OUT OF BED TRYING TO PUSH TEETH AND UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

PERSON JUST SITTING ON THE CRAPPER BABBLING CUZ OF COURSE I JUST SHOT AT METH OH AND I SHOT A PCP TOO OH AND I GOT I GOT I GOT HOOKED UP WITH THIS GUY WHO WANTS TO SHOW ME THE WAY TO MADNESS AND I'M LIKE THAT'S COOL THANKS
Wrong instructions to
Yeah so that's that's part of the key I mean look it's real simple I don't do it unless it's appropriate to do so and if I want to while I check and it's pretty easy to fucking find out if it's fake or real if I check and I just check every time and I've been doing this 25 years and don't really do it that often and there's fucking invisible fucking teleporting transporting cats here so fuck you all right I'm not ever see this kind of thing I'm not even on that stuff some fucking governmental drug twice I don't need to talk like that and it turns out when I'm not poisoned I don't so I'm pretty sure this is case dismiss coming soon and I'd also like the court to look into the fact that I have been really put through the ringer all this goddamn stuff I need a new fake ID I knew fake ID I need a real different identity that people can't track me out so easy because my name is a little hard and then thanks to the machinations of people who are being misled against their will and better judgment my name is more famous than Elvis, temporarily and I'm much better dresser and I'm going to have problems I can't like have a place to hide so I need something I don't want I don't want I'm not going to explain my life on these people and then have them suffer no no I'm not going no I'm at the I'm in the wish zone on the wishmaster I want to make a right and my wish is that these terrible things that have happened to all my friends even the ones you thought they were my enemies I would they're they're paying needs to be remedied quickly before as much as possible before I get out of this body and go into the other one because once once I get there it'll turn on a new dimension it'll be a lot harder than they think of this deal for me it was like a fucking it was like a telephone Spike through my head and then threw a bystanders head that just happened to be named a blank blank a who really annoyed me and hurt my feelings but I'm probably over it as long as goliathan takes it out

Yeah she is a fucking robot energy okay I didn't think so yeah okay yeah I'm working Richmond whatever all right so take out to the robots yeah then there's the girl in there somewhere and then can't can't are you telling me there's a guild rule that says the part of Benjamin buttons cannot be played by you cuz the screenwriter was really that fucking wow what a dick okay well I don't know I just don't have one oh no it's out of respect for my former fiance who is killed and reborn again and then if I can have a three way with anybody that I had before it wouldn't be her, yeah I know it wouldn't yeah that's a little awkward no I'm not I'm not let's just leave that quantity yeah quantity whether or not that happen yeah yeah I remember that yeah last time pays for all okay and I'm sorry about the puke but apparently that works
.
Heather Wade This is how you close out the show you you turn off the dials and then you push the button you called the time quake and you launch it the next dimension where you're a success instead of a fucked-off mess for you heard everybody's feelings and try to get ahead of the game by making her feel 3333333 repeating

Threeve says she's on it. And I must apologize to everyone who didn't think this could ever happen but I've achieved only objective and and I have won the heart of three-5/Threeve. that is a complete 100% floods victory

Flawless 100% flawless victory perfect launch plate of spaghetti execute

Re: Kooking With... (ACOLYTE TO BE NAMED LATER)
« Reply #9 on: May 21, 2022, 08:32:18 AM »
God, I love writing. Anyway, I wasn't always this good at compositon. Writing, on the other hand, I've done all my life... once I learned to type. Fuck handwriting. That's a sucker's game. You know what they did to Telsa and Reich? They aren't doing it to me, and they -never- fucking will. EVER. Because I built my whole way of life from the ground up starting before I was ten years old, knowing that if I was going to produce any kind of creative written work, whether it be literary or scientific or absurdist humour, it was, #1), going to be fucking FUDGPACT with cryptographic keycodesequences of my own design, of course unbreakable, and of course, wickid fuckin' cool, because what would be more bad ass than a Flash Gordon decoder ring...

I've got some compensating to do. I want those fucking college kids to be talking about my goddam manifesto as if they're rushing to go home and go over every crossed t with a curling iron, obsessed with getting the meaning out of what I'm spittin' out with the same focus of intent and marvelous alacrity with which some people, oh, I don't know, say... find themselves on their hands and knees, crawling on the goddam floor, and not just any floor, all the floors, even the ones by the toilet, you dig? Because someone sat there rocking out with their clock out, and, well, I found somethere once, and... you get the idea.

By the way, that asshole who complains about how difficult my writing makes his life? Should be glad I am holding back. This pen isn't mightier. I don't have a fucking pen. I have a singular laser beam focus from my mind to the language conveyance medium. Doesn't everyone? No, actually. And doesn't everyone have a fondness and a love for arcane wordplay, panting and sweating as one runs down the alleyway of the paragraph, racking one's brain/mind in a rabbit/rat/cheers cheese/maise orgy of confabultion that, in spite of any surface appearance, -absolutely- has layers of meaning within it? You bet your sweet ass not everyone loves arcane wordplay.

I'm tried of my own voice, I am tired of these monstrous paragraphs, and I AM SICK TO DEATH of knowing that whoever reads this, well, all I am going to hear is words of discouragement, and never a single atta-boy, pat on the back, or hostage release party that lasts until the break of dawn.

Hilfe! My interdimensional minders have wandered into a J* chrysalis. They just went in to wash away the tragic past. Kein Entkommen!


Re: Kooking With... (ACOLYTE TO BE NAMED LATER)
« Reply #10 on: May 21, 2022, 07:15:49 PM »
They just went in to wash away the tragic past.

I'm astonished at how skillful these leperous leprechaun lawyers are. No wonder people are always seeking to be putting liens on their lucky charms and leaning hard on their rainbows for answers to their demands for answering questions as in regards to the location of the next rainbow appearance.

Look I'm just going to cut to the chase: in a few months, all of all y‘all are gonna to need another diplomat. (They don't have to be bigger but if you want to get a fat one no one should mind.) I REJECT & NEGLECT the/an(y) opportunity to infect myself with leprosy in order to serve my country. I don't think my country needs that, and neither do I.

Driving very far out of town & rejecting the leprechaun introductory package as well. I don't plan to do this out of sight. No one's going to like this, but this is what Peak Neutrality looks like: blades & accolades for acolytes and their alkali poisons.

I'd like to send out a team of ladybugs to handle the rest of the details but I'm actually not that kind of human, I don't fucking talk to fucking ladybugs (far too much work to separate the ladys from the childs and that strikes me with visions of the past horrors of Aboriginal resettlement) and give them the remainder of the further instructions, that would be cool though. I would love to do that! Shouting orders at the ladybugs, telling them to go follow the flying monkeys and to be sure to kiss the frog! Sounds like never too much for myself, but, that doesn't sound like a fun thing the rest of The Frog Army to have to watch happen. Half of The Elder Frog Elder Tribal Council would probably croak as soon as they got a glimpse of what the new breed/brood of ladybugs can do with one of the tongues of an old time frog.

On the bright side, one of my (blank)s no longer hates me for my freedoms. I imagine a lot of you thought I never did any work. Not gonna lie, for the longest time, I never thought I did either.

I don't think I need to adjudicate this but I kind of like doing it anyway so I'll fucking just let it rip *slam*. Well, that wasn't very satisfying. Must remember to use more capital in the future.

Quote
kooking

As much as I would love to name a school of magic this, that's not it. That's not mine. (Interesting field, tho.) Incidentally, back to reality, I found out that there's a Secure Ghoul Rule, that isn't so obscure for some people that's for sure, well it's interesting that I finally found a rule that's worth following long enough to keep somebody in my line of sight longer than I would probably otherwise ever fucking want to, thankfully, I don't have to follow that at all.

I have people for that kind of thing now, thank God for them. I'm fine. I'm going to let you finish asking.

Re: Kooking With... (ACOLYTE TO BE NAMED LATER)
« Reply #11 on: May 21, 2022, 09:44:21 PM »
Hilfe!

Shots bought, shots taken. Uranus reporting in: “why does somebody keep asking? This is not where needles even go. This is some kind of a joke, isn't it?”

I'm not certain that it's necessary but, you probably are going to want to bring a couple back. I'm not clear on that. Nobody taught me how to say, “hello” here, you just ask them for ID cards and tax records first, and at a hunch, that's how they treated my father. (Didn't really talk about it at all, but from what I saw, and from the way they treated the son, I'm pretty sure it sucked.)

My interdimensional minders have wandered into a J* chrysalis. They just went in to wash away the tragic past. Kein Entkommen!

As soon as your workforce learns to talk Polite_KkkillThePoliteHungarian_English, I'm going to introduce an interest rate for Mr. Ed's college fund. He’s still just a fool/foal, I don't think it makes me a prognosticator/procrastinator/FedAlly to tell you that that horse is going to run.

9:00 a.m. on 9/9, I was surprised when I first heard that number but it does actually seem very appropriate now considering how much more work certain people have to do, that I was completely unaware of any necessity of needing to be done.

(No I'm not going to fix your guide stones I don't care how much money you shove at me. To be asked though: flattered, yeah, I could do that. When not on strike, at least. One should not wait for me. I'm not the best at reconcentrating ghoulas onto there satanicK operative to refocus their energies on the so-called appropriate murder of Certain tablets, but sure, I'm technically qualified for that, though until someone asked, I was not aware that was one of my areas. Kind of gross. At least I'm not J.R. Eewwwing.)



I can see why They needed somebody like me. They are going to have to hire me. I'll probably accept. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. (Advice doesn't really apply to you: though, Roller Balleyes, and I hope you like somebody's new pet name, because they ain't likely to be going to stay at leash for too long.) I mean yes I can have fun doing this job, but will I stop having fun when I go home and go to sleep after doing this job? That's a real question for a lot of people and I'd like to know the answer myself.


They're doing some recording today but I'm probably going to take the day off because it's somebody's birthday and I need to catch up. My interior warm smile is beaming, considering I have a real strong sense of certitude that the impression I'm getting about somebody else's impression of how they feel about what I said in the past is a very strong one in terms of just how remorseful a person can actually be when screaming out tears of pain and rage and agony into the neurosphere. (S/He|T) is a pain addict. There are a few of them. This will NOT be going to waste.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE. OF COURSE IT'S TERMINAL. HE SPECIFIED FOR THAT. I HEARD IT REALLY HURTS. DO YOU STILL HAVE THOSE SEEDS THAT YOU WERE GIVEN TO GIVE TO ME THAT I GAVE BACK TO YOU? YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO INJECT THEM DIRECTLY INTO HIS EYEBALL... BUT NOT MY AUTHORITY. MY MOTHER'S NEEDLES ARE NOT AVAILABLE EITHER, WHAT ARE YOU NUTS? THOSE ARE KEEPSAKE NEEDLES. PFFT.)

DICTATED THEN RED THEN SKIPPED THE PROOF, RIDE LIGHT IS GREEN, AND NO I DON'T NEED TO SIGN EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT BUT I'LL SIGN THIS ONE (1))

Re: Cooking With...
« Reply #12 on: October 23, 2023, 06:09:01 PM »
I had 3/4 of a bottle of Sav. Blanc in the fridge that I had bought to finish the last of the custom-freezer-MRE Morel Mushroom Beef Stroganoff a few weeks ago.  I had decided to use what was left making a Poussin fricassee (avec Champignon), which I did last night.

In case it turned out well, I wrote down the recipe as I made it up:

Poussin Fricassee
4# Chicken Leg Quarters (skin-on, could use any cuts of chicken or a quartered whole, Rabbit would probably work great too) [~2 kilos]
1/4# Butter (clarified would probably be better, I used un-clarified) [113g]
4 Tablespoons Olive Oil [57g?/60ml?]
6oz Bread Flour [170g]
~2.5 Tablespoons Poultry Spice (60ml?)
1# Large Diced Onions (could substitute in some Shallots for these if you are feeling fancy) [500g]
12oz Large Diced Carrots (45° bias cut, roll carrot 1/4 turn (repeat), is a good odd shaped cut so you don't have "rounds") [375g]
8oz Quartered Large Button Mushrooms (or whole really small ones, all these vegetables should be the same approximate size when cut) [225g]
3/4 750ml Bottle of Good Dry White Wine (could use red I suppose, but I wanted a lighter sauce and was using up that Sav. Blanc) [560ml]
1 quart Chicken Stock
~1 pint Heavy Cream
Large pot with lid, oven safe would be optimal, you can do this on a stovetop only though.  Heat the oven to 350°F [175°C?]


optional:  Tarragon and whatever other spices you think might taste good.  I used a bit of Tarragon, maybe a 1/8 teaspoon?



In large pot, melt Butter & Oil.  Mix together flour and poultry spice, and dust chicken pieces thoroughly.  Save excess flour.

Heat the butter+oil to a frying temperature, and brown the Chicken pieces well on both sides, remove and reserve chicken pieces.

Add Carrots and Onions to pot, and saute until lightly browned then add flour/poultry seasoning.

Cook the roux/carrots/onions until the roux is done, then add Mushrooms, brown mushrooms lightly.

Deglaze with the 3/4 bottle Wine.  Flame off alcohol, if required.

Add Chicken Stock & bring to boil, if the sauce looks too thick add a bit more stock.

Place the reserved browned chicken pieces on top (don't submerge them if you can help it), put the lid on the pot and turn the heat down really low (or put in the preheated oven).  Here you add whatever extra optional herbs you want.

When the Chicken is done (stick a thermometer in it!)  170°F [80°C?], remove & reserve Chicken pieces (and return to stovetop if using oven method) and finish the sauce:

*IF the some of the sauce has caramelized/burned to the bottom of the pot, transfer the sauce to another saucepan to finish, leave the burnt stuff in the old pot, don't scrape that shit out!

Taste your sauce, adjust salt if needed.  Add the Heavy Cream & bring up to a simmer to thicken.  Taste and adjust spices again.  Check your sauce thickness & add small amounts of Stock/Cream to thin/thicken as required.

Serve over Rice (the sauce is awesome on the rice, this is NOT gravy, dammit!), or with pasta, spaetzle, or whatever shit you think the sauce would be good with.  You will have about 2-3 cups of sauce per Chicken Leg Quarter, so there is plenty to go around.

This amount will make 4 pate-sized servings, so probably 8 people could be fed with this if you made salads/breads/desserts/appetizers/etc.

-----

I only used 1/2 bottle of the wine, I had to make sure the wine hadn't gone bad since I opened it, and it was good still (NEVER cook with a wine you would not drink)!  So to get your 3/4 bottle the recipe calls for, you can just drink the remainder while you cook.  <--  This makes the recipe fancy gourmet French cookery, btw.

It was pretty damn good, I thought.  And the little bit that burned on the bottom did not affect my flavor at all.  I think I left it on for too long, decided to start making the rice while the stuff was simmering to finish cooking the chicken.  I probably overcooked the chicken, & overthickened the sauce, but being an expert chef I was able to recover from that without any bad results.  I left it to simmer for about 30mins (the time it takes for rice to cook) and probably should have been checking internal chicken temperatures and turned it off when it got to temp...

I took no pictures, but it looked like this:



with carrots and my mushrooms were quartered, didn't do the fancy fresh parsley sprinklin' either..  Google image search "chicken fricassee" if you are really curious what it looks like...

Freaking delicious French comfort food, N'Joy!