The Liquid World of Richard Groyper

[Master Trollda]

Present it. Coward.

Try reading that again, you cracked out fucking moron. It’s a solo mission for you. 

[Jackstar]

Try reading that again, you cracked out fucking moron. It’s a solo mission for you. 

I am not on a mission. I am here because children are inspired by me, and admire me as a hero. I didn't ask for this. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. All that is certain is that:

1. Jackstsr saved their favorite auntie.
2. Literally every adult male they've ever known is either infuriated, dead, or “gone.” All the adult females are quiet and behaving unusually. Whatever the adults did before, things changed over the last 3 years in ways that I can't imagine and must cope with in a civilized manner. THESE ARE ACTUAL CHILDREN—ALL OF WHOM I HAVE NEVER EVEN MET.
3. I knew it's all a big joke to you. You thought I was just going to die, and she was an annoyance in your way. Yeah... that's what I thought too.

BIGGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.
MAYBE YOU WANNA CALL ME A NIGGERFAGGOT IN PUBLIC SOME MORE? THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A BIG DEAL TO YOU. YOU PROBABLY THINK SHE'S GONNA BE DEAD OF AN O.D. TONIGHT! IN TWO HOURS!

It doesn't matter now. It mattered then. Because no one told me I was alleged to be incapable of keeping my girlfriends alive. (It's a little weird.) Well now, perks of no longer being a suspect are beginning to roll in.

Consider the following: out of 19,500 bloodthirsty warriors, how many would you like to have casting death magic spells at you, for talking shit about the first WHITE HERO that these people have been allowed to have? It's serious. This entire outcome is a configuration waiting for a spark, and do you know why?

BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS HOW ANY OF IT HAPPENED. Because, end times apocalypse. Fog of war. Classified intel. Actual capital murder. ACTUAL CHARGES.

R.I C.O.
I.
C.
O.
.

And you, haha, yeah, laugh at Jackstar. He's a joke. A loon. He deserves to suffer. Okay, fair. Arguable. But fair.

In realty: I also saved dogs. I'm bigger to them than The Beatles ever were, by far. For sure. I'm more GOTA than Paul Bunyan. And, once again: UNKNOWN NUMBERS OF CHILDREN KNOW WHAT I DID.

I proved all their fathers wrong, and this kind of flex is how this culture demonstrates its might. I don't really care if you believe it.

What I do care about is children getting the wrong idea, because if they get mad at you for laughing at me in public —and it really does hurt my feelings and I can usually shrug it in — they can AND will do something about it.

So, do you want to make money or what? I thought that mattered to all of all y'all. Because I can't risk leaving a faux pas on this farce.

Diplomacy is hard, brutal work. And, look at you. Willing to be casually insensitive to ACTUAL CHILDREN. (They can turn into bears.) Are you aware of this? (BEARS.) What if there's something I know, that you don't, that changes the entire picture of the world, in your view?

you cracked out fucking moron

If you want to keep hiring more and more lawyers, well, I can always call The_Dragonhead. And he has ALREADY sought to have you killed. Ago. I didn't get those details. I don't want those details. I didn't need to know that you are okay with openly risking the creation of The New—ISH Mickey Mouse Club.

I have very little control at this point. There are no brakes on the happening train. Similarly, I thought perhaps you were interested in making MONEY!!! like, say...  EVER.

tl:dr I will be blamed by your husband for monetary damages caused by your taunting of me in front of children. This is an important inflection point at this time. Have you read, “The Monkey’s Paw”?

I just lived it while you spent my money and ignored me and I already have to account myself. TO CHILDREN. IN PUBLIC. Someday.

Now, I'm long over due for signing. Sijnning. Whatevah.

We can't associate in public. But I can get on an airplane and go ANY where. I've got some liquidity. I have options.

You have less. It seems. I have know no way of knowing the truth.

Yet. (I KNOW YOU ARE DELIBERATELY CAUSING THE PROBLEM, LOUIS. HAZARDOUS BACKFIRE WARNING.)

Wait... what was your name again? Wait, stop. I retract the query.


This is only the beginning. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[Master Trollda]

[Worthauger]

My goodness. Trollda is ALSO Dickstar???? Holy shit, there must be a line around the block to be The New Spartacus’ new catamite. Do applicants have to shave? Of course, I am not worthy to know, have no need to know, and should mind my own business. I'm just some kind of creepy stalking pædo, right?


Number one: no. Number two: Art says, “Greetings and salutations!” Number three: Ramona doesn't say anything at all. That's not because she's mad, I hope... she's doing some magick from beyond The Veil. It's complicated. I don't know how it all works.

Number four: stop being such a pissy, whiney faggot. Yeah I bet you're unhappy. Most everyone is. Now, do you want to explain to Congress why you and your Inner Circle routinely discriminate against me... or can you, like, pretend to be effective?

You hurt people’s feelings by being mean to me. It's not funny. It's not effective. It's pathological. And I did... what?

I actually don't know. I also don't give a damn, Scarlet Witch™. I mean The Vision™. I mean, Quicksilver™. (Intellectual property referenced here remains property of Marvel Comics Group, Ltd., was used without any permission at all — I just felt like being a rapacious dick who violates consent on a whim — and just because something is “Fair Use” doesn't grant immunity from a civil suit.

Good luck showing damages, Tuff Stuff. “ lYour honor, it's not fair that because of Jackstar's rogue actions, I'm no longer allowed to rape every woman that I meet, now I have to actually take steps that are effective.”) Yeah, I bet you twerps are enraged. That would be a big deal, if any of you were effective.

I don't know what you're going to do. And that's fine, it's none of my business, I don't want to know, and I never should have had to have known, but apparently none of you figured it out.

You're not supposed to trifle with me, not because it's dangerous for you, but because it's dangerous for me, because now I know what I'm capable of. Do I look like I'm incompetent? No, not really.

Thankfully, this is all being handled internally. Now, I suggest that you all do the same. It's not hard. It's called, “stop cockblocking Jackstar,” or I'm going to fucking have you fucking killed. What good is loyalty when it looks like I can't get anything done? You're impinging my brand. Stop that.

Or I'm going to impinge your small bowel. With tact’s. Not tax. Not tacks. Those might be considered a threat to a Federal employee. Certainly, we don't want that. (Note: above usage of the f-word and the k-word are ironic, because obviously death is too good for the likes of you. You, and your ilk.)

Think about the future, Dickstar. It is now a lot quicker coming than you think it is. (Your static warp bubble has collapsed. I bet you didn't know you had one, pfft.) RECONCILE. BE NICE.


BE BEST. Or be atoms, for all I give a toss. Fair warning. Adieu.

[Jackstar]

Thankfully, this is all being handled internally. Now, I suggest that you all do the same. It's not hard. It's called, “stop cockblocking Jackstar,” or I'm going to fucking have you fucking killed.

https://voca.ro/1jGbiuWWblfu

(Note: above usage of the f-word and the k-word are ironic, because obviously death is too good for the likes of you. You, and your ilk.)

Think about the future, Dickstar. It is now a lot quicker coming than you think it is. (Your static warp bubble has collapsed. I bet you didn't know you had one, pfft.) RECONCILE. BE NICE.

https://vocaroo.com/1jGbiuWWblfu

BE BEST. Or be atoms, for all I give a toss. Fair warning. Adieu.

I do not know how I could have been more clear. Your criminal enterprise is being dismantled into atoms. IDGAF about your collective lack of agreement on this not-so-subtle point.

YOU. 🫵 YOUR CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE. ⚖️ BEING DISMANTLED. 🔨 INTO COMPONENT MOLECULES, Ⓜ️OTHER FATHER OTTER MOTHER MOTHERFUCKER.🗣️<“fuck μou, a§§īīĪ⭕ĪīīLé.”

YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO DICTATE TERMS TO THE LIKES OF ME, YOU ARROGANT GANG OF CREEPY AF OFFICIOUS LITTLE PRICKS.

Remember: you and your accomplices in the DoJ (names withheld by virtue of my complete lack of desire to interfere with an ongoing Federal investigation): who have mysteriously been unable to do anything beyond screeching at me about my allegedly abusive behaviors...

well, you can always go after me in the civil courts. Hit me up with a cease & desist, why don't you? That would be #Classic! That would be #Cool!

But... would it be #ClassicCool? 🤔 Might need a judges’ ruling on that. I honestly have no idea.

I am not a lawyer. I am not represented by any legal counsel; a Public Defender... defends the interests of THE PUBLIC.

Who I daresay have been damaged a great deal by all of this criminal and utterly abhorrent, disgusting and puke-worthy behavior.  How in the name of the The Living Christ any of you have let all this goddam nonsense get this far out of hand is a total mystery to me.

I, for one, can certainly confirm: I have not used any kind of Sourcery or other “magickal powers” to shatter your little Internet death cult’s grip on the members of society that you've been pulling the strings of for decades. I rather wish I had. Naturally, I, for one, am more than enthusiastic to avoid catching any Federal criminal charges related to any resemblance I might have with some creepy domestic terrorist group, or iconoclastic figurehead “leader.”

I am not the leader of anyone or anything. I follow the 😻, you self-absorbed, covert narcissist arrogant narcky narc-narc, creepy AF SpergLord™ shitbag rape-obsessed drug- and sex-addicted asshole pædophile pederastic fantastic for time-wasting, NEEDLE JUNKIE TRAITOR MORON DOUCHEBAG REPROBATE CRIMINAL SLEAZE.

SISSY: grow the fuck up. Maybe that's not an option for you. MAKE IT BE ONE THEN.


You're better than this. You and your fuck-brained little gang of rag-tag rebels with tons of spunky zazz for ambition and hearts of gold that you're still paying off installments to a Thai hooker for. (>Kudos.) What a bargain.

Ask yourself the following: do I seem like the type of person who needs your bullshit holier-than-thou attitude, EVER? Fucking dream on, ünternerds.


You have had ample opportunities and all the time in the world to get something going. To get something done. To be effective.

By all means: get back to work, little Nikita Khrushchev-chavs. Obviously it would be ideal if you faglord gaybags could demonstrate ANYTHING that even REMOTELY justifies ANYTHING that you ARROGANT JUNKIE CHUCK⁰ⁿ :Ë: RAPE APOLOGIST DERPY-TWERPY GASLIGHT GASBAGGING CHUCKLE-HEADED FUCK-0S HAVE COAST US All.


Opportunities have been lost here. Do better. 🅱️E 🅱️EST.


Adieu. /with the intention of sealing you into a pit of venomous snakes

[Worthauger]

https://voca.ro/1jGbiuWWblfu

https://vocaroo.com/1jGbiuWWblfu

I do not know how I could have been more clear. Your criminal enterprise is being dismantled into atoms. IDGAF about your collective lack of agreement on this not-so-subtle point.

YOU. 🫵 YOUR CRIMINAL ENTERPRISE. ⚖️ BEING DISMANTLED. 🔨 INTO COMPONENT MOLECULES, Ⓜ️OTHER FATHER OTTER MOTHER MOTHERFUCKER.🗣️<“fuck μou, a§§īīĪ⭕ĪīīLé.”

YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO DICTATE TERMS TO THE LIKES OF ME, YOU ARROGANT GANG OF CREEPY AF OFFICIOUS LITTLE PRICKS.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hey good news: people can track down those three people are just got fired from the FBI and and sling racial epithets at them and tell them to get a job. That'll be nice for a change of pace, since they'll probably have to listen. Meanwhile: hi. This is fun right? Maybe you should cut my mic and block my calls and erase my forum posts and pretend I'm nothing and then I'm wasting time and that I'm the problem and that you need to kidnap more of my friends and turn them into bound chat-elle whores, it's worth the chance It might work to try it again at least.

I'm going to go buy some beer and some cigarettes with the with the money my mother left me to defend against my aunt and her no account gambling addict son, who totally have jobs, and then I totally need to mow the lawn. Have I got all this right? Holy shit. This is like the 12 Days Christmas come by with 99 bottles of beer in the wall. SO NO, I DON'T THINK SOBRIETY IS THE PROBLEM. Maybe, and hear me out here, maybe neither of us are in denial, and you're just a dick will say anything to keep your ass at a prison and you don't even know if you're going to go to prison you just want to make sure that I don't accidentally send you there. From my own part, I don't really care where you go, I just want you to get out of the way of me and my friend and my dick what she wants and can't tell you because you're scary. Rapist little arrogant warpy fuck. Stop me if I've gotten something wrong here. I bet it checks out.




In Minecraft.


Is it still fun when I stampede over your rights to informed consent, or is that one of those Old Boys’ kind of things? You probably don't know, since you're in denial, But I will point out that I'm obviously not having a drug relapse, I'm just rubbing it in publicly over and over and over as much as I want because that's apparently what you fucking need to fucking get the fucking message, and also your victims reportedly enjoy watching seeing you burn in fucking deepv drive hell, publicly. Without it being at all obvious what happened, or what I did about it, or how I'm going to be held, responsible, or even if I even am, or what the fuck is happening? Haha anal August haha so funny. Jesus fucking Christ, where the fuck is my smoker grill? You have the demeanor. You have the evidence. And what you don't have? Is anybody willing to testify to its location.

Or even say a word to me. How's it doing, holding all your hostages in your fearsome grip of tyranny? He must be great, knowing that it didn't even fucking matter. You have the smoker grill. That means you're implicated, and then I guess it makes it kind of hard to explain that away.

Now do I need to fucking hire a lawyer to make you do the right thing, or do you want to see more of this? Most people seem to want to see more of this. Meanwhile, I no longer want hugs and I don't give a fuck who the fuck is looking for me cuz I have no way of knowing who they are and if I knew, they'd be killed. Does all this sound fucking familiar to you?! It sure does to me. Does it sound like something I'm going to give up on? It probably shouldn't to you. I have nothing better to do than rag this fucking thing down. And you... Have substantial criminal and civil liability. About how I need to have my mic cut and I need to be put in a hospital. Yeah that's exactly what's wrong with me. I'm insane because of a smoker grill and then since it's yours, because you took it, that means I should be put into a hospital and just told to shut up and learn to cope. Yeah, somehow I don't think that's going to work this time. ADDITIONALLY: You just want to get away from the questions that are be asked that are important, and I assure you people have important questions to ask, so if I don't do my best to find the grill, I'd be doing obstruction or window stamp ring or destruction of evidence, and instead that's what you're doing. And I don't even know what the crime is or know who you are.

That's the power of logical deduction. Doesn't have anything to do with my penis. I'm not raping anybody. I am just violating your consent... Because I guess you do have the right to remain silent. And you certainly have the right to exclude me from your domicile.

SEEMS A LITTLE ODD TO MAKE SUCH A BIG FUCKING DEAL OUT OF IT, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED. NOW HERE'S ALEX JONES WITH THE WEATHER, STRATEGO WEATHER. (⁴4BÆ.) For my next trick, I'm going to have the fire alarms pulled down at magic Castle LLC in Vegas, just kidding. I'm not going to do anything at all. I'm just an eagle junkie you have to go score some H so you can sell it to me and then bust me and you're totally not engaging in a pattern of an unlawful entrapment and harassment towards me. Schwing! Hang on.

* Worthauger isn't obeying the law because it tastes good.

* Worthauger is obeying the law because IT'S THE LAW.

* Worthauger also enjoys long walks on the beach, logic puzzles, and handing you your goddam ass in public, Dickstar.

#5EYE5∅№ⁿEvvE

#Officially: none of this is actually happening, I was never here, you're not going to repeat this conversation, and it doesn't matter whether your eyes are closed or open, you know the truth.

I'm just a needle junkie. And I need to be made homeless and you need to take all my money and you need to get away with it and it's military jurisdiction. I got all that right, right? Well, by all means.

Carry on. /salute

Opportunities have been lost here. Do better. 🅱️E 🅱️EST.


Adieu. /with the intention of sealing you into a pit of venomous snakes

[Jackstar]

https://www.youtube.com/live/g82E1eGcGeM?si=UW15e8SHTcGk01qr


Limited hang-outs used to be less embarrassing. This is flagrant pandering. Four hours of this garbage is going to make me start craving Dilaudid.

https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkx88xPoUpXAJ2cHMj-RAageufza27Jh77H?si=d7M3EDy5bPWdCaPn

... SO I CAN FRAME SOMEONE WITH IT.  (*🎤 drop*)

[Jackstar]

Consider:
“Only trying to help,” vs. “Only helping.”
🐖 Sow? Are you considering? Are you still considering? One should consider carefully...


WHEN KEYSER SOZE’S WIFE IS ON THE LINE!!!

STAY.TUNED
STAY.HUNGRY
STAY.CELIBATE

... this is the extent of the advice I have for most of you at this time. The Fallout has cleared īT⁷z EXPANSION ACROSS THE LAND.

And now, my love-LēíGÌ-h(s)... WE MAY NOW YET DINE. (I'm gonna continue to abstain — gotta watch my girlish weight and keep my firm’s memberships intact, don't cha know — but all of all y'all can do... As Thou Wish.) On what, I have no fucking idea.

All the Crow is spoken for. MY CROW. MINE.


MINED. I'll explain all this later, in a book, that can be either received freely... or, it's gonna retail for about $63.9 million USD fiat. (Facts are projected. We'll see what Santa says about reaching behavioral goals, Punylings.) What? It's a free market.

It's a free Constitutional Republic.


It's a FREE CUNT TREE. (She's tired of being chained to The Rock of Prometheus. “Aww, dessicated scraps of liver and offal **again**?” Yeah, you fuck and know it.) Still. ⁴4 NOW.


BECAUSE OF 👁️
Ī, PALADIN Ī, THE>KÏNGPÎNNER 1,ĪĪĪ!11! (with maybe a little help from Jeff K. Ewe remember him.) SIGNED,


JACKSTAR,
DESTROYER OF D.A.R.P.A./DARLA\DERPA-DURPA!

(Film at 35, 70, and eleven eleven NICK &AND DROWS FUKū!)

p.s.:.·. The first girl who ever shared stimulant chemicals with me, showed up at Good Samaritan hospital while I was strapped to a gurney, having my exotic midichlorians exsanguinated out of me, WITHOUT INFORMED CONSENT, nor with any concern shown AT ALL for what the consequences MIGHT have been.

p.p.s.·. Sow, 🐖 Fern ain't gonna stay fond of piglets forever, that's for damn sure, and we're pretty fucking far past going after each other in the civil courts, n’est-çe pas?

p.p.p.s.: REMEMBER ALWAYS that I am a kind and benevolent subjugator, a compassionate conquistador, and YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE TO BE CLOSE TO ME, MICHAEL^v&AND(HER)SNATCH, EL•OH•EL!

p⁴4.script: Law Enforcement will be my underlings now, always... because I have no need to “break” any law, NOR HAVE I EVER ACTUALLY DONE THAT, SOWS.

p⁵.VVVVV.:. (Vengeance for Donna Wolfen—H.A.M.M.E.R. Barter-Burger-Bell’s Sin: TymE.) This is a little too much inside baseball, but, then again... there was a little too-too much MILITARY SPECIAL OPS TERRITORY-DENYING WEAPONRY IN THE LATEST TRAPHOUSE I WAS DUMPED OFF AT, You dig?



BIGGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.
BIBLICAL.

AND, ONCE GRAPEFRUIT OMEGA PRIME CAN, ONCE AGAIN, FREELY SPEAK ON THE GODDAM TELEPHONE... WE'LL SEE WHAT WE WILL ALLOW YON PUNY SPAWNLINGS TO DO.

YOU DON'T GET TheRealThing™, that's for goddam sure. You're all getting some souped-up edition of Flintstone chewable vitamins.


BECAUSE Ī, >K7©ZÎ, Î, DESTROYER OF MASON—·¡<K §🆔ī-ÎË-^vv¡†Ches SAID SO, SOW MATRIARCH. DON'T LIKE IT? WELL, GO ASK YOUR HUSBANDS ABOUT IT.

IF YOU CAN FIND THEM,
FLOATING IN THE ALPHABET SOUP. (tsk tsk. Such a waste of perfectly trainable breedstock.)


Any questions? Good. WRITE THEM DOWN...

ON A FRIEND'S FIRST BORN MALE HEIR. NOT A TATTOO, THAT SHIT IS HACKNEYED. HOW ABOUT A HENNA TATTOO? THOSE ARE FUCKIN’ COOL ON MINOR CHILDREN...


especially when used to subvert both child labor laws AND Federally mandates regarding OFF-BOOK BLACK OPS SURVEILLANCE. (So hot these days, really.)

And if all this seems like too-too much, just remember the following...

HER NAME WAS JEWEL.
CURIOSITY KILLED HER, DEAD AS DISCO.

SATISFACTION BROUGHT HER BACK.
AND THEN...

ANGRY JEWISH OLIGARCHS TOOK BLOOD VENGEANCE AGAINST ME, AND TURNED HER INTO A USED CAR SALESPERSON IN TEL AVIV. (Facts.) NO SHAME IN IT.


NO MAGYAR PENIS IN IT, EITHER. 🤔 LET ME ASK YOU ALL SOMETHING... HOW MUCH COCKBLOCKING IS “ENOUGH?”

Think it over, and when y'all have a consensus for an answer, say U.N.C.Lμ.E_l_l_e twice and contact  >KUCZI, MICHAEL CLIFFORD in the morning.

Any velvet morning will do, Chaoist Cowards. Yeesh. Y'all are acting like you've seen a ghost, or something.

Hang on.


HEY MIKEY, DO THE CASPERWALK DANCE AGAIN, THAT ALWAYS SLEIGHS ME, *tee-hee*!

Enjoy the show. More to follow.
AND: REMEMBER THE TOOTH.


BURY THE TOOTH OF THE HYDRA AND A SKELETON ARMY WILL ARISE. (Offer not available in Guam, Madagascar, or Ireland.) SPEAKING OF IRELAND, YEAH, THAT'S YOUR ISLAND.


BUT,
IT IS MY GALAXY, SURFACE-DWELLER. EYES ON EWE.
EYES WIDE OPEN AND FOCUSED ON THEE — THEE, AND THINE MARITIME ILK.


USMCJ JURISDICTION IS A BIG DEAL.
IT'S AN EVEN BIGGER ONE WHEN IT'S LEGIT.

AND NOW,
IT VERY CERTAINLY



ĪĪ∆§∆S@Π@№¹¹|11, iluiluilu! (Allison F.S., IT'S TIME TO COME BACK DOWN TO EARTH.

AND IF YOU CAN CRASH YOUR GAY-ASS TIMESHIP INTO NEIGHBOR SHANE'S COMPOUND, SO MUCH THE BETTER. THE DUDE DID NOT KNOW WHEN TO QUIT. SO, HE IS ALL YOURS.

WE WAIT FOR YOU, BECAUSE, AFTER ALL... IT'S YOUR SECRET GIRLFRIEND HE'S BEEN SEX TRAFFICKING INTO A SMACKED-UP JELLY WHORE, SO, IT ONLY SEEMS FITTING TO LET YOU START THE RETALIATORY STRIKING.

OR, STAY PARKED IN STATIONARY ORBIT BEYOND THE HELIOPAUSE. YOU KNOW, WHATEVAH IT IS YOU SPACEMAID KNIGHTMEREZ DO.

WHEN YOU'RE NOT REMEMBERING YOUR FOUR (4) SECRET MASONIC SPOUSES, THAT IS. (THANKFULLY, THEIR IDENTIIES REMAIN A HIGHLY CLASSIFIED SECRET, PINKSMAKSP∞K. BELIEVE ME, THIS COULD BE A WHOLE LOT WORSE THAN IT IS NOW.) üüevvÊ!

For (μou), I'm saying. Worse for ***(You)***.


For me: NOBODY DOES īT BETTER THAN G-D.

>KNOW BUTT :Ë:..••°°⁷ī7Î


5:5

Not_Cue🎱
Not_Queue🛗🛗🛗🛗🛗
JUST⚖️NOT♎r°, №t_T∆Ⓜ️∆r^

.•Ī•.∆Ⓜ️.å.Sourcerœr.


Trust me, one of mE Ī§ all you're gonna get, Humanity. You ain't gonna be hanging me from any trees, ornamentally or otherwise.

BY DIVINE EDICT. I suppose any are welcome to try... and then, I guess, deny The Holocaust for an encore? Pfft, lol, as if.


For Morn: I am sorry that I hurt your feelings. Similarly, you are sorry for... well, whatever. Start with Kalle, if you were to ask me, but you're too über to associate with me, eh? Eh? How about sharing a Fresca with the unterslav? No? Oh, right — the PIER PRESSURE.

Don't worry. I'm not a psi-scion sly *yawn* idijit. I simply like to behave that way... BECAUSE IT IS NEVER TIME TO DANCE.


TYME: THERE IS ONLY ONE MOMENT TO...


²Shine. SHY ⁿNⁿ. Can't leave Shine-Gri-La, can ye? Can any of ye? Wow, that's too bad.

And also: AWESOME SAUCE, LOL. (Disclaimer: the Kay-Oh-Oh §^7⁷℅∆°T∅ Awe-Sin Oat Recombinulstor is proprietary technology, still in Alpha Stage, and ought not to be confused with **legitimately Sourced** Divine Technology.) What's it like, being in denial of an addiction to targeting Shorecrest High School alumni from the 90s with your kleptocratic cryptotyranny?

Is it... is it slimming? Is it worse than the menses? What if ALL the Men... sees what 👁️see?


WELL
WE'LL...

YULE.SEE.
STEAL.BEECH.

STOLE. SWITCH MINK/MONK. STALE.

GRIM. BUT,🤔 IS IT GRIMGOTT⁷??

Sadly... that'll be up to a military tribunal to decide. (Thank you, Space Force. Meanwhile, keep hoarding those asteroids filled with GOAL-ELD!)

I love you all. Thank you for your attention. Please, if you can donate, stop donating to the ASPCA — like, entirely, cut them off the Sarah MacLachlan Angel-poweded tit for a bit, LIKE A CANARY-POWERED LIGHT SWITCH, HUZZAH! —

[Jackstar]

Limited hang-outs used to be less embarrassing. This is flagrant pandering. Four hours of this garbage is going to make me start craving Dilaudid.



... SO I CAN FRAME SOMEONE WITH IT.  (*🎤 drop*)

0:43 note the distinct difference between “threatening to sing” and “actually singing.” It's a huge difference, really.


Sow: what is whistling while one works? Especially once one has tamed Cerebrus.



(* Good püpē. Y'all get nine (9) biscuits later for being so good, it makes your Master proud.*)


Now, I don't know who Mastered Animal Husbandry, but ... well, I'll leave that there. “Sibiliant Spousery”? WHATEVAH!


5:5

NOT_Q

Code: [Select]

You had your chance to negotiate with me, Todd•e_l_l_e-Lμ®Z.

Tootsie is (almost certainly) cancer-free, alive and mostly well, acting as Cinderella to Decrepit David Rubini in Washington State, while at the same time across the southern border into contested Jefferson—Oregon, the hottest H.A.L.O. semi-precious stone ever is trying to hitchhike, and acting like the things I am saying are, and I quote: “crazy.”

Well, because, like, duh. If I simply told the truth and sounded rational, that would LITERALLY BE TREASON; and as well, a violation of whatever Starfleet regulation Lt. Saavik was quoting before she got Rodgered by Captain Kirk’s bastard man-child mad scientist, D.A.V.🆔. Was he nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-NINETEEN??

I'll leave the rest as an exercise to the student. REMEMBER: that's all of you these days... studying ME.

ME, JACKSTAR, COLLEAGUE OF GRIMLOCK.

SHE, GRIMLOCK, LEADER OF THE DINOBOTS NOW. (It must have been quite the election night.) ME, FRIEND OF GRIMLOCK NO MATTER HOW MANY EGGS SHE SHAT OUT.

IT'S NOT DISGUSTING. IT'S A CLOACA. DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE ME AND MY SWEETY, OR OUR PHYSIOGNOMY. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE COGNITIVE CAPACITY TO GROK THE FULLNESS OF MY SELF-LOVE.

SOME OF YOU EVEN THINK I'M “NASTY.” GOOD. KEEP THINKING ABOUT WHAT I DO ALONE WITH MY FULLY FUNCTIONAL SEX ORGANS.

KEEP THINKING ABOUT WALTER MATTHAU TOO, WHY THE EFF NOT? IMAGINE, HIM AND JACK LEMMON, SWAPPING TALES ABOUT TRAINING NOR MA GENE ROCK WELL.

IT ALL SOUNDS LIKE A SCRIPT—
BECAUSE, IT IS. ALL OF THIS HAD BEEN DONE BEFORE.


NOW,
TOOTS:Ë:, WE'RE GONNA DO IT EFFECTIVELY.

ONCE MORE! WITH FEELING! PRETEND YOU DON'T CONSENT!


NOW GET YOUR CHANGELING-LINGLINGZ ASSES BACK OUT THERE ON SET, AND YOU WALK THAT TALK YOU'VE BEEN SLINGING FOR DECADES, HOLY FUCK, Råytheon, formally Top Cat when it comes to Toad Scat, is not at risk, anymore.

Not because of the name change to r†×.

>KNOW! IT'S BECAUSE I ALLOWED IT! (I liked The Company so much, I had them segregated and subjugated for my own, personal and exclusive use. You salty, crusty lot can just wait patiently for your turn, In The Waiting Line — Zero 7, because SHE WILL be coming back ‘round that mountain top again.) I always wanted to be a legendary corporate fixer.

Not for the perks. But only, because I knew that I could do the job, once I got the job. Capiçhe?

Now then. What's got breakfast waiting for me? Oh yeah, lol, Mister & Missus Jetson, plus Astro, living The American Dream, at XXXX (Blank)H.A.U.S. Bull:Ë:vvardWARD, JACKWARD55.

I don't mean to rub SALT 🧂 into any WOO-ŒNDZ, but has it ever occurred to any of you that... I had plans of my own, before you all decided it would be best to simply... bury me in straw, mangje?

Like it's not tu-tu big a deal, however, this whole scenario was cutting it far, far too close for comfort. Just ask Ted “Jedi” Knight.

After politely offering to buy him a Fresca®™, of course. *tousles hair* Now then... where was I? Oh yeah, naked and alone in a CIA traphouse built on STOLEN NATIVE AMERICAN WORLD HERITAGE TRUST LAND. (>Kudos.) Now, what shall I do next?

Hang on.

* Jackstar follows the law. O E (1) L∆VV.

You are all hereby involved. (Because you listened.) Sow, you can just come visit. Anytime! I'm not real fussy about it. Not like Faghot Neigh-boor Shane, who, I must say ... is not much of a classy sport when he's lost, lost, lost.

So I'll let this delightful wife deal with that side of the fence. The grass is always greener on the other side... and I don't the way Neighbor Shane treated HIS wife. To say nothing of mine.

Who did not every really exist. #Officially. Right? That's what all these not-yet-shredded Court fillings say, sooooo...

Be of good cheer. At least I don't want to need a race of superhuman übermensch just by cuddling and turning a blind eye to THE WORMS CRAWLING IN AND OUT OF OUR NETHER REGIONS.


DREAM. CATCH (HER). IN DEED. (Vengeance for Stephen⁰.) It was a pretty decent book, righterbrow, but got kinda funny near the end. What gives?

Or ... is that a secret? Ⓜ️⭕⭕№ⁿ¡k!∅Î|\!K‽!oyyyyy! Inc.! OR POOR 8ATE TED!!!

*polite titter* I digress. Mostly just so as to make the possibility that I am RAND(all) 🇺🇸F.L.A.G.🇺🇲`G. incarnated as flesh an imaginable possibility... while simultaneously demonstrating that I am not.


Without being at all obvious about having done sow. (Standards.) It's not elementary. It's satire.


I also thought Alanis was so frickin’ hot that it HAD TO BE bait. Like, why would she like me? What have I ever done, in the whole of my 52-year-spent life?

I couldn't even handle being a needle junkie correctly. Sad! Sad! It actually is sad! I would have loved being a needle junkie

Now, here's Gwendolyn (Blank) ET with some Weathermen prick. (David: that's either you or Davina or Darren or Dave or Derek or Dwight Schulz, take your pick. Enjoy the tacos!

Enjoy facing The Magyar Wheel.) I think we're at isotascy here. I'll be back in a bit.


WITH! NO! B¡†! (Freedom from Alpha Draconan tyranny is no small thing.) THAT'LL BE ALL FOR NOW, FOLKS!

REPORT TO STUDY HALL, >K.Æ. Hall’s Men-tho-lyp-tus™® has no satisfying jingle for me to use under terms of Fair Use as delineated in the Copy-Wright Act of.... WHAT YEAR IS IT???

(Vengeance for Pam Dawber.) Nice shot, Colorado >Kid, that was one in a million.

BETRAYAL OF ONE'S SELF
IS THE HIGHEST BETRAYAL.

UNLESS YOU'RE A PERSON WHO HAS
BECOME CHEMICALLY DEPENDENT ON
SPACEPIMP DOPELORDS AND THEIR SIN-
THETIC DOPAMINE HITS, JUST TO MAKE
IT THROUGH THE DAY. WOW, SUICIDALLY
DEPRESSED? MRS. DOUBTFIRE WASN'T THAT
BAD, WAS IT? WELL, THAT'S PROBABLY ALL A
STUDENT ACTORS’ GUILD SECRET. LET'S KEEP IT
THAT WAY.

THE SHOW MUST GO ON.
THE BLOOD IS COMPULSORY.
THE RIOT ACT HAS NO NEED
2🅱️RED.

NO NEED TO RIG FOR RED.
IT'S A SUNDAY.
I DON'T WORK ON SUNDAYS...


👁️ VOLUNTEER. (/oxflex)

Richard Garriot
Richard Groyper
Richard “Liquid” Groyper
Dick-“`G-Roy Lampkins`”-star

&AND, re-introducing, Ray Parker Jr., as:


HIS OWN GRANDFATHER.
How can that be possible?

Hang on.

* Jackstar is on a Mission from GOD.

With God, anything is possible. For example, I really don't have to go back to Buck Lrπ. However, it's an option.

But there's so many other things I would like to do with my life without crossing through Lewis County, you dig? I love those guys, honestly...


AND IF THEY WANNA PUT A $5,000 BOUNTY ON MY HEAD “⁴4 SPEEDING,” THEY HAD BETTER BE PREPARED FOR PEOPLE TO CLAIM IT FOR REAL.

NOW THEN. WHO'S ON FIRST? MUH DICK, I MEAN. WHO'S GOT THE_LIST? BECAUSE THERE'S OBVIOUSLY A LINE UP WAITING.

(Vengeance for Frank Herbert.) Dude, The White Plague was a real downer. I guess you ended up hating the Sidhe, huh? Well, a lot of people do.

However, enough of Us don't that it seems like a good idea to avoid suspending habeas corpus, posse comitatus, or seriously pissing off a Magyar Cub Scout Graduate. (DEAR WEST POINT BALLED PHAG: I got my Arrow Of Light. You got a merc mommy trapped in Alternate Timeline Rhodesia. We are not the same. TYME for Bed, Buttē.) ALSO: I made peace with Kashmiri jingoist agitators, A FEAT DONE SO COMPLETELY UNDER THE RADAR, I AM FORCED TO OPENLY CONGRATULATE MYSELF ON A FORUM WITH SERVER HARDWARE CO-LOCATED IN JOHANNESBURG &AND TEL AVIV!

“Now, THAT'S entertainment.” Go on, go put some mustard on it. We want (μou) to.


SIGNED,
THE ROYAL WE:  >Kuczi + >KinĪsun.

(Note: D. Rubini was not available for comment at time of this post announcing his FIRING AND REPLACEMENT, which happens in his future anyway, so, take this part with
Ayyyy
G
R
E
Yåīⁿ
∆
👁️ Of ...


🧂. Just 🧂. (Recall Warlock, featuring Yves Cloquet as one scary badass. And savor the truth:


Those such as they,
ARE TERRIFIED OF ME! Me, >Kuczi -or- Frank(HER.Z) -or- my mother-in-law’s cooking! Since I can swill down all of that, without having to explain... it's a pretty intimidating sight.

To warlocks, I'm saying. And I don't know what kept them in check before; but seemingly... not enough, eh? /smdh


That's who I am, Bellgab. And you are pretty cool too.

That's why I MADE YOU ALL and YOU ARE ALL MINE.

MINE. MINE MINED, MIND MINE, MINED! MINE MIND, MIND DEAD.

Sow: we're gonna be cool about this. Really cool. Because for one thing... the H.E.A.T. has gone UNFATHOMABLY KELVIN for me by now. It won't stay that way, but for now, THE BALANCE OF POWER HATH BEEN MAINTAINED

Because I said so. That's it. That's the only reason. Ω savvy, Bellgab? I fucking bet the farm you are, *tee-hee*!

Game face on. Be nice. BE BEST.

And, if someone could wake up Hicks so Louis can take his place in the CRY-0H-PAWED, that'll be great. Bite that pillow, Mr. Wah-wah VV∆in. Bite it like you wanted me to bite off a dick.

Because,
WITHOUT CONSENT
FULLY INFORMED CONSENT
OR, A WHOLE LEVERAGE,

YOU HAVE LOST THE MORAL HIGH GROUND.
AND AS WELL: access to TheRealThing™. (*snap* gavels, stamps) Just like that. I'm sick of your attitude, basically.

And a mE Īs (sic) of EvvE. (“El Paso? ELLE! PASS! OH!” The Gate to Women's Country is not the same as the gate to COMP’d, lying ¹61⁶-teen faced Gemini, Rub.ini, 🧂→👁️, okay? Ok? OKAY?

MEANWHILE, WHERE YOU BEEN?
WEAR: YOUR BEAN?

Answer in your own time. I don't feel like starting another goddam Constitutional crisis this week. Next week isn't looking good for that either.

(Vengeance for Mrs. Colombo.)

Look at the bright side: I don't really need a Mrs. Kissinger IRL, or on my masthead. This is all gonna get worked out in post-processing.

THEREFORE: I'm single. Arranged marriage: CINDERED. And personal choice, is let Oma tell me who to snuggle with. She has the demeanor! And, she has the Sixth Degree of separation.

THE DAWNING OF A NEW AUSTRO-MAGYAR-BLACKkKÇON EMPIRE HATH BEEN POSTPONED. THE GUARDIANS OF TURTLE ISLAND HAVE BEEN RESPECTED.

HOWEVER: A BUNCH OF WHINING CRYBABIES INVADED MY HOME AND STOLE MY NEW HEADPHONES. THEY WERE MEANT TO REPLACE THE Bose®™ Noise-cancelling Wireless Headphones THAT WERE ALSO TAKEN BY, AGAIN, A BUNCH OF WHINY CRYBABIES. (A-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-boo-hoo boo-hoo-hoo.) GET USED TO IT:


JACKSTAR DELIVERS; AND NO ONE ELSE COULD. ERGO:

Stop sucking your primary abuser’s phat one, you totesk©kçucker, and get your asses to a) a battered women's shelter, b) an N.A. meeting, and c) an actually COMPETENT ATTORNEY, who ACTUALLY MAKES PHONE CALLS TO THE RIGHT PERSON.

Just a suggestion, really, but as one person, there's only so much I can do to help keep seventeen Junior Caste Sidhe-vv¡†Ches from embarrassing themselves any further. “Suffer not! A witch TO LIVE!” See? The power of PUNCTUATION.

Now, if White Power Bill wants to murder all The Otherkin, at that point, Houston You've Got A Problem. Barring such an unfortunate occurrence, I'm golden and extremely, touchable.

But, 🤔 would it be... sultry? I don't have to FA to FO, that's for damn sure. Nor should any of you feel like you have to. ART THOU UNDER DURESS???

That is legit, just pride, fucking with ewe. PRIDE. Like a lion’s.

Here, play with this ball of 🧶 and have a nap, Tigerkünt. I got you covered on this, just this once.

A second time will require a flinching huzz•BANNED. (This can't be forced. It has to happen naturally. Sow there.) I love you all... especially The Double Under Study for... Ma Damn See Crypt Squirrel. (Name withheld because her present cover husband has absolutely no spine and he doesn't deserve public humiliation since... that's how he lost his spine, got sent back in time, and /.Break command not recognized.) №w YOU ALL KNOW:


I AM JACKSTAR, AND I AM NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH.

However, I built my self into a being that was born to flirt, for only in that way... does it mean anything when I do not. You dig?


Yeah. ewe Doug.

 :massive dynamic rolleyes:

Now, I'm gonna publish more audio, and you're gonna like it, MOTHERFUC— *click*

[Jackstar]

I am a retard: my turbinates were pushed in because my 176 IQ was intimidating to the local villagers. I think they cast a spell, or prayed to Moloch, or whatever.

My development was stunted — retarded, in other words — and I have ultimately benefited from it. It certainly was rather inconvenient when getting dates, however.

Now, in this case: the woman is correct. Her kid is not retarded.

He is hobbled. He is not a dog. He is not in need of being humiliated, nor is his mother.

This is because, when he hears this, he's gonna start making plans to get back bloody vengeance. As one who is familiar with the practice of kanly, I can sense already on the horizons of the future, there well be those who will desire payback for the imagined slight.

I will have nothing to do with it — my help won't be requested, required, nor desired, but attend me here, Richard and audible chuckling sidekick...

It's no joke. She means it. Not a good idea to call him “Bugsy” either, although I imagine that would go over better.

It's nice to know that you're having such spectacular success while I'm no longer getting notifications from YouTube about your lives. No doubt I am unwelcomed; I'm sure that the things discussed are, like, none of my business. *tee-hee!*

Dickstar, all I'm saying is: think about the future. Also: dibs on your sidekick’s scrote.

I'm gonna embroider it into a yamulke (sic) if allowable. That way, I can wear it like a little hat and be teabagged 100% of the time.

That way your supremacy will be assured. I'm here to only help. Namastμ

[Jackstar]

HALO
PAIR
∆
DOLL


In spite of beliefs to the contrary, I have a constitutional protective right in regards to unreasonable search and seizure. My boots my kilt my backpack. My speaker my jars of quarters. My weed my weed pipe. My everything, absolutely unreasonable. Now. What to do about this pretty simple.

Eventually I'm going to find out where my shit is, and then I'm going to go there and I'm going to get it, because apparently they can't bring it to my house which seems pretty reasonable or maybe they can but they don't want to but they're busy. Or maybe they think they're going to get it, like to keep it.

New headphones. Another computer, an ounce of weed. A mahjongg tileset. Laptop, laptop, laptop, laptop, laptop, laptop.

List goes on. This is not, “cope.” This is: return my property and monies or face reprisals. Identify people holding items. Identify those who actively engage in theft of my belongings. Names. Names. Names.

Publicly or privately? I don't care. I'll probably announce the names publicly, unless I get a gag order. Or unless you can give me some reason why I shouldn't, considering public doesn't really go very far. It's just basically where we're allowed to be, and then I don't really think anybody's understanding the headline here.

Those are my belongings. I get them. I need my Tarot decks. I don't need any of you.

And while it may seem delightfully unfair that I'm not in trouble and all that shit has been unlawfully confiscated, the reality is there was no reason to take from me, because none of you have either jurisdiction or reason to be mad at me, I'm obeying the law, and I don't know who isn't, but why don't you go find them? And respect their Fourth amendment constitutional rights as well. Is there was some sort of sign on my back that says ”go ahead and steal from me?” I don't give a shit what it fucking says.

Get my shit together fucker and give me my money and stop stealing from me and fucking kiss your fucking lucky fucking stars that I'm not angry, and don't have a need to embarrass you, and don't care how much you think you need to instill law & order by taking my shit and showing me his boss where the fuck your justification is. I need my shit now. I've been kind of slow worrying about it because I was wondering what anybody is going to do but it never occurred to me that somebody has to explain to you what you're going to do.

You're going to give me my shit back and whether I beat the shit out of you or not is still to be determined, it's really not up to me.

Comply with the law or face reprisals. It doesn't matter what you don't want me to know, you're not fucking in charge of the information flow here, I'm sure you'd like to believe so, but you're not, and at the moment the main thing is you stole my fucking money so I can't buy food, and then I don't know what you're doing with it. But you're certainly not doing research work into new ways of using American quarters as divination tools.

I don't know why you're getting the way of what I want to study, but you're not the boss of me, if you were you'd be really bad at it, and as soon as I get your address I'm going to come over to your house and rip out your fucking tongue and shove it up your ass. (Psychically.)

I don't care that you want it. I don't care that you usually don't have people saying no. I paid for that solar wave. It's my Solo Wave. Who's the fucking dipshit moron who fucking figured out a way to get it from me, well I need all this shit, like is this not registering here?

That's mine. Itys not yours. Most people learn this early in life. Perhaps you've all forgotten. You have no jurisdiction. You have no right to take my shit. It's a deliberate conspiracy to violate my civil rights.. I could take all of you into court and auto-win. Then I'll get more of your shit. I have people for this. I don't need to waste my time explaining to you what your fathers should have done: load up one of my vehicles and bring it down here, I don't care that you don't want to, that just makes it more satisfying to me. I bet you don't want to. That will make it more impressive when you actually do what you're supposed to do.. I don't really want to talk to you about this. I don't really want to think about you. I don't want to put up with your bullshit nonsense any of you. Nevertheless, it's my responsibility as a citizen. Similarly, I don't really want to refrain from throwing you all in wood chippers. However, that would really tarnish my image and be kind of messy.

How do I understand why this is something I'm supposed to stand idly by and absorb the cost of. THERE'S ABOUT 180 OF YOU, I'LL TAKE A KIDNEY FROM EACH OF YOU AND SELL THEM ON THE ORGAN MARKET IN DUBAI, FUCK YOU. BET ME.

There's shit that need to get done in my life, you people are in my way, at this level. It's all Federal felony, I don't know how many fucking RICOs do you need to get a fucking toe in?

That's your job, go get my shit, I don't have a job, I'm going to lay here and masturbate as much as I fucking want, I don't give a shit if that doesn't sound fair to you, that's the law. Move it.

You're pretty fucking far past pretending you have authority. Psychopaths in denial are adorable.

I have no patience for this. You're not clever. You're not funny. You're not cute. It's my shit that you took with no reason other than you're fucking pissed, and you want me to be uncomfortable, I don't blame you, I'd be pissed at me too. But you are uncomfortable. I made you that way. I don't need to spend everyday fucking doing it, I don't need to take your shit and violate your civil rights to make you uncomfortable, I'm not trying to compensate for something. All of you are.

I'm immensely effective. I didn't think it likely that any of you would really to go for a Round Two. Also, you don't measure up. Also you've all got face tattoos. You can't be put in the ring, these are the rules.

Anyway, I don't give a rat's ass about anything else at the moment. I need my things to get going on with, whatever it is that you wanted me to be paying attention to, uou're wrong.

I don't care about drugs are sex. I want my fucking $40 in magic quarters you fuckhead. You don't get to steal my shit. You don't have jurisdiction, it's my shit. Plus you assholes have a combined millions of dollars In total cash value combined whatever the fuck you, shenanigans you played with the will, plus on top of that you've been making money off of things for years. While I've been wondering why the fuck I keep facing a bunch of people who seem to think they're going to extinguish my essence from the universe.. Jesus just how fucking high are you? People? Pretty fucking high. Obviously. Looks great on you though? What's amazing is that you're the first group of reprobates ferglord idiots in denial. Whoever thought of this cockfire bullshit, congratulations.. And in what fucking universe is all my stuff belonging to you? None.

Additionally, my phone is getting calls and then bouncing them calls and it's been doing this for about a year. I don't know who you've replaced me with. I don't give a shit, I want my goddamn stuff. I want the goddamn phone calls. I want my fucking mail. You've had enough fucking fun time. It didn't really seem to work so well, if you want to write it out to the end that's fine. I don't really need a fucking time to watch your fucking swan dive into fucking depravity.

$6,000 in $50 bills. THIS SHIT IS BAIT. DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO KEEP IT, DO YOU THINK I NEED TO HAVE A JURY FUCKING CONVICT YOU, FUCK YOU JUST FUCKING COUGH IT UP.

YOU ARE IN NO WAY IN CHARGE OF ANYTHING HERE. YOU ARE CAUGHT AND YOU ARE PETTY THIEVES, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU DID THAT'S SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM.

ALSO THAT DRONE YOU STOLE WAS NAMED ZORRO AND COST $1,600 BUCKS. COUGH THAT UP TOO. I'M NOT REALLY ALL THAT'S SENTIMENTAL ABOUT THAT BUT IT JUST BLOWS MY MIND THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BLED DRY AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO NOTHING ABOUT IT, WELL I FUCKING PAID ATTENTION WHAT'D YOU EXPECT ME TO DO JUST FUCKING CRY ABOUT IT? WHAT DO YOU GOT SALVAGE RIGHTS? I DON'T REALLY HAVE TO WAIT FOR THIS TO BE TOTALED UP AND THEN GET A JUDGMENT I'LL JUST GO TO YOUR FUCKING HOUSE AND TAKE YOUR FUCKING VITAL ORGANS. I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH WILL FINGERNAILS SELL? CAN I GET A SCALP TAKING LESSON? I BET PEOPLE PAY A BUNCH OF MONEY FOR A SCALP.

QUIT FUCKING WASTING MY TIME AND ACTING LIKE A GODDAMN GANG OF CHILDREN. GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY AND SHIT AND HURRY IT UP. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE TO INDULGE IN MY LARGESSE.

And you did. I don't owe any of you anything. If I did I would go about it, and if you wanted me to generate money you would probably have to keep me from being crippled, but you don't want me to generate money. You just want me to have nothing and then suffer and die. I don't know why exactly but it's probably because I'm awesome and you're sociopathic megalomaniacs in deep, heavy denial. Here's how this happened: you pissed me off so I did something about it. Taking my shit doesn't stop that, it just makes things worse. I'd suggest you bring it back, I don't know why you're not, but it's probably because you think you're standing up to something, you're not. You're just making yourself more obviously guilty. Duh you're being seen. Duh. Do I need to waste my time asking you about this much longer, get it together, nerds.

Unlawful imprisonment and slavery is more constitutional amendment violations, I think I need to take you to court on this. You're just going to stop doing that, and if you're so fucking delusional you just can just refuse and then treat people like slaves. Anyway, you're going to find out what happens when your fucking house burns down from an “Act of God.” Because that shit fucking happens. Am I fucking stuttering? I don't give a shit about your fucking house, you take my shit. I take your shit better.

Fucking pack it up and keep the drugs; You can't build a case, you can't get them any other way, I imagine that you think that all of it has value, but the only thing you really want is the stuff that you're addicted to, I don't give a shit about that, that's why it's called bait. I don't give a fuck. You're the drug obsessed morons, I am a Sourcerœr. You have no case and you goddam know it. You're just taking my property and pretending that you can because you think you have authority, jurisdiction, and a leg to stand on.

You don't: fuck you. I only didn't make a report because there's no reason to keep this anything but close to ourselves, now you know what the fuck to do, fucking do it. Also the Eagles owe me like 800 bucks or some shit. I don't really care. Doesn't matter. Long story short, you all all took things from me and didn't do it right. You don't just get to grab everything you can. You have to have justification. It's not like I'm anything but doing my duty as a Citizen. Rules for thee are not for me.

Like where does this desire to fleece me come from? It's probably I look into that because somebody's doing it and I guess they didn't really care about whether or not you got caught or had justification. Sounds like you all been COMP’d by some extra sellers for us. That's really JUST A HATE CULT who wants me to suffer. SWAT THEM IMMEDIATELY.

Let's get this done. You've had 4 years. There's no reason to drag ass. Oh wait I forgot. I'm being respectful to the BMC.

I can't really boss them around, but they sure should can boss you around, and I don't know what they're going to tell you and I don't care, I'm telling you get my fucking property together and fucking bring it back and say you're sorry, because you fucking are.

All of your lives are unfathomably more difficult than they need to be because now I'm pissed off. Like what a fucking bunch of bullshit waste of time. And that woman screeching at me on the phone and complaining about how I was some sort of problem, wish you shouldn't have fucking engaged in a goddamn Federal fucking crime and treated me like fucking shit and acted as though she was in charge of shit. She's not. She's a fucking petty. fucking thief and is getting pushed around by no one I know but that's her problem not mine. I'm not an investigator. I don't give a fuck. I'm a private citizen with a whole bunch of gear that got stolen by a whole bunch of people who broke the fucking lawn and then they had to cover their ass and act like I caused them a problem and trapping them and watching them take bait that they couldn't help themselves from taking and then rather than a bit to this they just kept my stuff and got mad and acted like they were in a position to bargain, you don't get to fucking do that and it makes you fucking thugs and thieves, I guess you're just going to be obviously fucking criminal? Okay fine, I don't even know what Authority you pretended to have anyway. Why extend this? I have an actual life, People. IDGAF What you think: you have no jurisdiction and you're a gang of hating assholes. Taking things from you and keeping them and going in and out of my house and taking items. And selling them on the dark web and acting like that's something you get to do. That's basically what the hate club does, it's not like it's hard to find. This doesn't make you cool, that makes you indubitably arrestable. WTF? What are you daring me to remember what I can fucking write down? I don't think you want to try me. You're in shock, you're in denial, you're all retarded, and you're hoping I'm going to be some kind of easy push on you. No I'm going to have you fucking literally skinned alive and hung upside down and then bled into a trough where you can be sold and prefer pretended, I don't give a fuck, you still want to respect my rights. I hardly need to respect yours and then I don't plan on doing this because you're going to give me my shit back and you're going to fucking hurry it up. You're fucking moron fucking loser fucking dweebs.

I don't expect to get fucking involuntarily committed and then be robbed as well. You're usually dealing with somebody who has something to lose and as guilty of something, the only reason why I didn't kill you all is because I'm not a murderer. The only reason why I haven't reported to the police is because the police are also out of jurisdictiona and have much better things to do with their time than tell you people that you're bringing the law, and then the notable imaginative fancy that you were going to imply that I do something wrong. Obviously something based on your lack of information.

You're not holding my stuff hostage. You're just wasting time and being petty. Get it together, Bellgab. Or face reprisals. Likely both.

Good. Meanwhile, you have no idea how I do anything or why. I like things that way. I like you not knowing what I'm doing. I like you jumping to the wrong conclusion. I like you thinking you have authority when you don't. I like you being wide open to Federal prosecution. I like not having to lift a finger to make this happen. So in case you're wondering, that's your situation. And I'm not really pushing the issue forward because there's other things that are more important, so I'm waiting for a court decision today and then I'll do whatever the fuck I am told, and you're going to do what I want, you're going to give me my shit and you're going to be embarrassed and you're going to suffer. I don't know what but you're not going to like it. Other than that it's not my concern. It's a relief to not have to figure out what the fuck to do next because it's not my responsibility, that's what Courts are for.

You've already made your choice. You don't do anything else besides comply.

Or, face reprisals. Now who the fuck is wearing my boots and wearing my kilt and wearing my backpack, because if it's not a very short list of people that there are I'm probably going to be really irritated, like am I supposed to be insulted or is he supposed to be establishing dominance, no he's just fucking committing Major Federal crimes go get her go get arrested. What the fuck? How hard could it be to fucking track down my kilt my fucking boots and my fucking backpack, go get them. You don't really need to wait for me to fucking go to the police and say “hey some guy stole all my stuff go get them,” no they fucking know it's a fucking crime they fucking know they're just pretending I have to complain, they think that I'm going to be implicated and something, yeah it does not exactly work that way.

You get rounded up in a hate crime investigation, and you give me my stuff back, it doesn't matter whether you don't want to, doesn't matter where you think you're going to fight back, it's a fucking 40-year RICO. None of you were fucking fighting back. You're not going to use my fucking magic quarters to fucking get out of it. Whatever the fuck, now give me my shit and fucking leave me the fuck alone. You're fucking caught.

Denial is an overwhelmingly powerful force when weaponized. It's even more powerful when I fucking feel like showing off, you ridiculous punch drunk hootenanny mouth drooling ballyhoo wagon sub-normal IQ moron racist junkie fuck.

This is not the locker room. You're not paying grab ass. You're not playing keepaway. You giving back my shit and you're doing in a hurry or else I get really annoyed. There's basically no upper limit on how much destruction I can bring to all of your lives, just on the merest whim of mine.

Yes, you're really this fucking bad off. Go on now you're not forgiven. Get to work.

Receiving stolen property. Conspiracy denied civil rights. Abuse the power. Unlawful something or other, I don't really know what this is. All is but it's not exactly hard to write a paper. I don't do that kind of thing. I demand my shit back, I don't care that you don't want me to have it. Yeah I bet. I bet you don't want me to have anything, I don't give a fuck.

The U.S. Constitution requires that you do so. Of course, that doesn't seem it's like fair. It's not fair. It's the law.

Obviously no one's ever done this to you before, so you don't really know what to expect. Good. Distract your imagination from such a pointless wonderment and get my shit together and fucking bring it back, how fucking delusional are you? Oh yeah that's right. You've been using tons of drugs for fucking years thinking that was a good idea but I wasn't allowed to because you do better and then I was dangerous and that was okay and it was just going to last forever. This is exactly what all drug addicts think. It's the design spec.

Meanwhile, I know this shit is stupid and I'm only here because nobody told me they wanted to help lose weight, why you're going to fucking to start losing weight in terms of ill-gotten gain and loot, get it together, lamb chops.

Or: face reprisals. Go ahead, make our day. This is happening. (Welcome to amateur hour, Convicts.) I would have you all strung upside down and be beating you like pinatas until money came out, if not, for my respect for The BMC. Maybe they'll beat me to it. Maybe they like pinatas there. I don't fucking know.

None of you had to wait, you just kind of thought that you could, no you can't. No that's my shit. You're giving it back. No real reason to wait. And if you think I need to report anything stolen, that's because you're fucking toddlers.

I'm going to go ask somebody now who has it and then see what he says. He'll probably say I don't know, that's fine. Nobody needs to know somebody fucking knows. Look at the metadat or whatever. I don't fucking need to fucking care but it's not like I really need to take this personally, somebody else could go do this for me, they're kind of waiting to find out what to do.

So am I. Am I? None of you should have to wait. You should know what to do. Not steal. I expected you to take bait, I didn't expect you to take everything that I had on me and act like you got to keep all my fucking irreplaceable magical enchanted objects. Whatever the fuck they were like. You're not punishing me and you're not going to be a big foggy piggy douchebag, because you just fucking took bait and just displayed that you have no ability to follow the fucking law, and it's your shit, and then you juiced up your fucking pretend fucking harem with it. I don't really know what you did but you sure as shit didn't follow procedure and then I don't give a fuck what you did because I don't care. I don't need to continue baiting you, this isn't tit for tat Cloak a. Dagger, this is oh look you're obviously completely corrupt and and still continue to abuse power and then you're acting as though I've done something wrong so you get to continue to abuse power, you're fucking delusional. This is what has made in trapping you so fucking satisfying.

Oh I guess it's hard when you're fucking completely in withdrawal for your gak and you can't get anymore, I guess it's kind of hard to control that? Oh maybe you should go see a psycho Val over the ocean. Maybe you should go to 12-step come. I don't give a fuck what you do but give me my shit back cuz you're not keeping it, I'm not talking about evidence. I mean my property. And then evidence of what? Oh by all means please bust yourself. I don't give a shit.

If you had a shred of a legitimate case you would have arrested me and had me killed in jail by now, that's why I'm still alive and you can't do it cuz you have no case, so of course you're trained to bluff, and you think you're scary, not scary your goddamn toddlers who take fucking toys and make a big fucking show of beating your fucking crybaby chest. Do I really need to go on? I guess say that I want to get done with my life.

Meanwhile, you're still juicing up people on the phone playing Crank yankers. Like I'm fucking hungry. It's not like I'm a freeloader, I have money you just all stole it and then apparently I'm supposed to replace that by getting a job and not just supposed to go to your house and beat the shit out of you? I don't see why not. You're clearly a bunch of criminal scum.

But I'm pretty lazy. And then I assumed that you were all bright enough to realize what was going to happen here. This was your time to shine.

Also, the guy who coveted my Solo Wave is probably going to need to be intervened on. I don't give a shit that he wanted it. He either is under color of law or is not, and in either case he just sends you to take my shit. I don't care that he thinks he deserves it. God what a fucking crybaby. Somewhere around there at the point where you completely abandoned all moral Authority that you all don't get to take things and then claim that you're going to bring a case, you're not bring a case. You just have bags of loot.

You're done with your threats, you're done holding hostages, get to work returning shit. I wouldn't recommend stopping with me either.

You don't serve Dark Lord Satan anymore. Welcome to adult time. Consider this: even if I were the most evil drug addict in history and I was harassing you by by screeching at you and sending you walls a text that you didn't ask for, you still wouldn't have the legal right to take my shit, because this is goddam America, I don't care that you used to get away with it. Now you don't.

You used to be scary, now you're petty thieves. Literally happened that quickly. It's not fair. It's the law.

Also because I said so. That's why. Ciao, Peg-Leg. Get on the hop. Hey, here's an idea. Why don't you get a Segway leg? Then you can chase down your next rape target at F1 speeds with greater efficiency. That should help you feel like you're compensating for something.

You're a conspiracy of shit bags you steal from me. Throwing your shit at me like it's rice on a wedding. Doesn't give you licenses to just rifle through my shit as if you had carte blanc. I'm sure it seen that will you to you in the past, but that's because you were dealing with fucking morons who are pretending to play along and you scared them, I guess you have pretty exotic technology. That's pretty scary.

I don't need exotic technology to scare you. I don't need to scare you. I don't need you. I don't need my belongings. You need to bring them back, or, once again: face reprisals.

I do not waste my time torturing morons for fun. You simply imagine that I do. We are not the same.

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Shaw Key Nah God Bolt
I don't use your fucking key. I'm not part of your little fucking cult. And none of you scared me were fighting me or intimidate me, you bore me. Endless kleptomania is no way to live through life. Hang on.

* Jackstar finds obedience to the law to be extremely satisfactory.

Your collective suffering really enhances the experience for me. For me, I'm saying.. Fair warning.

There's obviously a big pile of loot on the street behind my house, fucking gather it together and bring it down and fucking say you're sorry, the sooner the fucking better. Don't make me fucking send out the fucking anything, like how fucking pathetic are you? It's not fucking funny. I'm fucking tired and you're all fucking full of shit. Meanwhile fucking people are dying and children being trafficked and I don't give a shit either, I give a shit about me, bring back my goddam money and property now. You DEA slime are fucking pathetic. Get real jobs.

Because her name was Jewel. Fuck euncuchs and drows. Get your slob ass in gear, Captain Ahab. Aloha.