Conspiracy Theory and Analysis

[Jackstar]

The board is only in your mind, Jack. Where I’m going we don’t need chess boards.

You're boring Jason. You're boring, Jason. My name is not my cunt. Now, you tell me... did you just lose one or two? Tell you what, I'll check The Baby Navy Matrix and find out.

[Jackstar]

By the way have you seen Stellar lately? Coz like, he and I have a mutual respect for one another. Hint. Like, within the last 2 weeks. Hint.

He just showed up and told me that he's sad that he's not going to be able to me of use to me, coz like, I'm obviously pretty good at this.

And yeah I know what he is, so what? He was on the fucking Gabcast. That's better vetted enough for me.

[Master Trollda]

Still—probably superior to what Kelly would do to me. THREE (BLANKS) REMAIN. What do you say, would you like to reformulate your arguments, or just continue to descend into ad hominem like a wussy lich faghot would when encountering a mouse in her kitchen? Because nobody's asking you to be insulting, and you're actually not, so I assume this is part of The Test.

(Yeah I have done this kind of shit before, have you? I'm honestly quite curious.)

It wasn’t ad hominem. I was responding to your hallucination that I’m as many as seven different people. And yes, it’s ALL part of The Test, Jack, the test that you're failing. What is about you and failure?!

[Master Trollda]

he wasn't a pacifist and I am.

Anthony is someone else here who claims to be a pacifist but makes death threats against people with great regularity. Maybe pacifism is not all it’s cracked up to be.

[Jackstar]

Anthony is someone else here who claims to be a pacifist

Where I come from, he claims to be an atheist. I have -literally- never heard him claim pacifism. Did he embrace the philosophy at the age of 12? Did he break John Aaby's glasses? For fuck's sake, Tedioustar, your protocol is ages out of date. What are you working out of, some beat-up Chopperhead manual they found in the Airport '77 prop closet? You're embarrassing us all here.

I mentioned SHOWTIME already, right? Good, pretend the Queen is watching. (HAIL LIZARD MAMA!) Hahaha, she digs me. (Actual.) She still has a hard time believing I'm as cool as everyone tells her, but I -am- polite, and she -is- a lizard.

Also, the best damn diplomat you got this side of the Ozarks. Snake Plissken has us to the East. *3 or four more keycodephrases piling up* Oh, now people want to drive demand for My Services. Pfftt. Fair weather nation-states, O LAWDY j*eol

[Jackstar]

I -am- polite, and she -is- a lizard.

Yes, I was whistling "God Save The Queen" in my mind. I actually don't know how it goes? *HISS HISS  HISSS HISS HISSSS HISSHHH HISSSSSHSISH* $rattle$ is that close? Well, whatever, reptile or no: The Monarchy certainly does deserve respect. So I give respect. HISSS HISSS HISSS. See? That's respectful enough. I did just save Her fuckin' planet, let's see Her respect Me/ME/me. (Fat chance.)

[Jackstar]

makes death threats against people with great regularity

So does my favorite husband of yours. Why are you being like this? Is it the bio-bug command protocol? Weak.

. Maybe pacifism is not all it’s cracked up to be.

It's not, it's merely the -only- GUARANTEED 100% victory strategy in ANY conflict in which it is One Man Vs. Everyone and Everything Else All At Once. Seriously, look it up, they teach that shit at West Point. Ghandi used it to beat back the Queen of The Alpha Draconans. Now, THAT is impressive.

I would not say that it is the -best- strat in every circumstance but as I knew I would be so lonely--so sad--a-bloo-bloo-bloo-boo-hoo-QQ--for the vast majority of my life, and I'm a Sourceror, I figured it would be the only war training I would ever really need. So, I dumped all my stat points into it. It's worked in every circumstance EVER, including ones where Jesus couldn't show up as backup. (I don't like having to rely on Buddy Christ.) Now, I know I've explained this to Bellgab.

Multiple times. So. Can I go back to getting high now? Seriously, I have fucking earned my daily salt today for the next 205 years. Do the math.

Also, do the right thing and stop holding my friends hostage, I need people in meatsuits down here with boots on the ground, damn it... and I needed them here THREE MONTHS AGO. Grumble grumble GRRrrRRT!

[Jackstar]

Anthony is someone else here

Last I heard he was having a cup of Joe with coffee on the side somewhere in Europe. Also, Lisa disappeared and is now *polite_cough* oh lawdy *DRUM_ROLL_PLEASE* The Grand Arch Warden Archlich of The North. (Seriously? Okay, she says that's it.) This is -not- my mother.

But she is a very nice mother, so I'd be careful with this one too. I have no idea what she's doing, but S\|IT did not show up just to extradite me for a speeding ticket in B.C., that's for sure. She's probably not kidding about the undead mage part tho. The woman is serious business, seriously.

[Master Trollda]

[Jackstar]

The woman is serious business, seriously.

Why are you being like this? [...] I needed them here THREE MONTHS AGO. Grumble grumble G

Yep, insane. I'm going to take it to Council. God can decide. I am biased, and NONE OF YOU ARE HELPING.


Now, that's plump crazy. I'll take K-Blubb/K-Dubb\Klayton and the rest of you can go hang. What do I even need a secretary and security post for anyway? This is all totally contrived and I simply won't be a part of such shenanigans. PERIOD.

[Laser]

Shovel ready for the conspiracy crowd.