The Kuczi School of Rude Conduct

[Master Trollda]

Come at me bro.

Didn’t I just do that?

[Jackstar]

I got the dog stoned. Looks like a first timer. How do I top off this trifecta formed from frozen steak and cannabis deflowering? Now, if I were a cruel man — which I am not — I would feed him a big chocolate sundae, and lock him out of the house.

Her mother's house. It's in a cozy neighborhood. They could use another dog, I'm sure. Especially one spraying explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting all over the place. However, this will have to remain a hypothetical extravaganza, although if I can get that s*** to manifest in dreamstate, I totally will.

I need options, People, goddam it, and I need them now.

[Jackstar]

I got the dog stoned. Looks like a first timer. How do I top off this trifecta formed from frozen steak and cannabis deflowering?

If you went with, “half a bag of lightly salted Fritos,” you were right. I don't think I'll keep him. He's cute though.

I assume it's a robot dog that's trained to hunt for needle use. Just to keep myself in practice. Truth be told I always wanted a robot dog. Not naming this one Boxey tho

[Laser]

I have a dog now. Neighbors brought him over. Fed him a raw, frozen steak. Probably friends for life.

The jafdphabet expands. How is this rude conduct? Well, for starters, I'm going to give him a bath in the shower and then let him sleep in her bed.

She's going to love his name.

Well, don't be shy now. Show us the little bugger.

[Jackstar]

You'll never guess his name.

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Well, don't be shy now. Show us the little bugger.

He ain't all that fuckin’ little. He's already gone through two frozen ribeyes. I'm taking him to the glue factory in an hour.

[Laser]

You'll never guess his name.

Redbone?

Do I win a prize?

[Jackstar]

Redbone?

Do I win a prize?

No. Not really. Not at all. You don't even get an Alphabiscuit--J*** ate them all.

[MR. DRDR]

Redbone?

Do I win a prize?

Hey. fuck you! ThunderGab was up for at least a week. I made posts there. Fuck you.


I'm not trying to date you, Taffy-Eyes, I was looking for a goddam message board. Fine! Fine! I get the message!




I bet you can't even play Go--and, you're Irish.

[MR. DRDR]

Didn’t I just do that?

Remember, when people accused me of being exploitative? That was funny. In spite of myriad opportunities, I haven't exploited anyone.

Please don't encourage me to be exploitative. You would like me if I were exploitative, but that's really just an anomaly at this point, because obviously some opinions can be totally different on this issue.

[Jackstar]

You think that's rude? I just caught them trying to seal me off in an oubliette with a golem. I mean, yeah, sure, I can take any golem, any time, any where, but, I'd kinda just like a few minutes to talk to my friends being held hostage by The Shadow Hyrdax Clan & Part-Time Babysitters, FULL-TIME-FULL-ON Babysisters Club (and also Weight Watchers), beacuse honestly, I don't know what the fuck you all think is happening, but trust me.

Jackstar done this before. Jackstar not tired. Jackstar not bored. Jackstar beyondtotesboarded. Jackstar devastoted.

Jackstar figures this is not a good day to pay his bills again EITHER, and then starts wondering why he's referring to himself in the third person. Jackstar resolves to call the next bill collector --and I wish you would--Herald, and see if they know how to fucking spell any gut.

And, you can't blow me now, either. So there.

[Jackstar]

You think that's rude? I just caught them trying to seal me off in an oubliette with a golem.

Now they're setting up a blah with a clank and a frickin' laser beam. Like that'll even impress the berries. It won't even scare the berries! What kind of a PAS/HOLD team can't even scare a mother's bucket of fuckin' keepsake berries? I swear, I just can't even. Maybe it's because they think I'm a fuckin' square who can't drink.

These are not "keepsake beers." Fuckin' Keystone Arch KEGGERS, MOTHEFUC-- *zap*


Hi, I'm Jackstar. Anyone can call me Mike now, but my special friends call me (Blank). Hint: it starts with an M, but you sure all hell didn't, lol... no, you started with A. All at once at one's, I bet too. Damn, no wonder that ol' timer feels so fuckin' guilty, lol. totesforgive, totesbellylaugh totesbestmedicine totesbestraper totesaskingforitoutloudbynameagainandagain toteswinner

[Jackstar]

seal me off in an oubliette with a golem. I mean, yeah, sure, I can take any golem, any time, any where, but,

HOTFIX: Jackstar may now only wrestle with one (1) golem.
HOTFIX: Jackstar may no longer wrestle without a penis.
HOTFIX: All golems are now female.
HOTFIX: All male human golems that spawn with a penis, now spawn with a much, much larger penis, suitable for biffling valid targets within 6.5yds. Male golem lifespan reduced to 9 (teen) days + 5 (has_been) days.
HOTFIX: The scalps of Jackstar's enemies may now be automatically used and equipped as shoes for female golems. Female golems may scalp themselves once an hour in order to create shoes for themselves, but they must have another female golem within 12 yards distance to appreciate their new look.
HOTFIX: When the working day is done, boy golems just want to be held. That's what's fun for them now.