Any attempts Jackstar may have at pursuing a lawsuit against anyone on this particular forum would be met with swift laughter post-discovery.
Furthermore, any two-bit attorney worth even an ounce of piss would inform him he didn't have a case after perusing this forum, as any “legal team” would.
Email is great when you don't necessarily want to get my attention in a hurry, sorry I can't try and get my phone I guess
Sorry I can't triangulate my phone I guess
I'm pretty sure somebody has to go to jail. So that's it then: we're alone until Christmas.
Health could be better but it's not terrible, it doesn't really seem terrible, I suppose technically I have an alligator in my ass, but that actually happens every 3 months or so it's kind of like ponfarr. (E.L.M.E.R. says I know nothing about what I'm talking about, I believe that. I told him to STFU, he doesn't know anything about Titanstar's Galaxy Glue. (THE GREAT GAME WILL CONTINUE.) I haven't done a technology assessment on the new tail yet; while curious I'm assuming that G-d knows what s/he's doing--although that would be the first time.
I could pretend that I'm fooling myself that I'm talking to a real person but I'm not (Don't take it personal. You're on the other end of the fake person somewhere. The call forwarding feature is Salt lake Marathon man, instantly not real impressive, the Mennonite response, Hey by the way Mormons, have you ever decided to try and figure out what happens if you teach your children to read before they breed? Try it and see, you sad fat ball binger humm dinger fat finger unbelievably stupid überspirit uddereligious, dumbass f******* lolcow more-ons; Hey Jill you know what I could do? Have sex, to completion, without the T-tea-tedious bare necessity of getting drunk, waking up married, fat, still drunk, still alone, coz kike, I actually like your face, and I kind of like your legs too, or at least I did. 2-to-totes-too bad you signed up for a 10,000 year contract on Mormon Shit Head Hard Yuniverse, Looney-lb-pound-him-to, or else you can stand up in a crowded theater and yell, “fire! he pouted me too,” omg, he did‽
AHMERGERDJAHBULONHEYWOODYOU BLOW MEJOOBLUMEJUDY BLUME RAPED & MURDEREDMY DOG, MY LOVE, MY GOD:YAH: HER COLUMBUS GO ONWHY HER COLUMBUS A?YAH: NOVA COLUMBUS B, ALL QUINCE CUNTS GONE.
LET'S INITIATE ANOTHER INVESTIGATION AGAIN! (yay! paycheck orgy! yay!)
IAFSJY? PHOCK YASERS ON FAGHOT MET? I SWEAR TO CHRIST, I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY LET YOU GET AWAY WITH IT... BECAUSE THIS SHOWTYME, SHAW, TYME SHAW: THEY DON'T. I GET AWAY WITH IT, AND THEY DON'T “LET ME” GET AWAY WITH IT, I ALREADY GOT IT. TIMESHIP TITANSTAR TO TITANSTAR, START TIMESHIP, OVERTITANSTAR TIMESHIP TO TIMESHIPSTART TIMESHIP, OVERJACKSTAR, A. TITAN: START TIMESHIP, OVERTIMESHIP JACKSTAR, CHANGE NAME TO TIMESHIP JACKSHIP TEATSHIP JACKSTAR TITANSHIP, A. B. FÆD C.A.EWE.EFF.EWE.GROS.STARK.JACK.S.ARK. OVER.G.ROSE.HARKSTARK, JACKSTAR “JACK.STARK: COMMA COMA COMMANDING” ARK.K.COMMANDER COMMAND(HER) COMA KAYLENECHAMELEON CIRCUIT: “OKAY IRENE'S BUSY, HOW CAN I HELP YOU? THIS IS THE MIB SWITCH WORD SWITCHBOARD WITCH BITCH BOARD FOR WITCH BOARDS WHO CAN KNOW WHICH WITCH BOARDS BROADS ARE GOOD, WHICH WITCH BROADS ARE BAD, AND WHICH WITCHY KIND OF WHITE KIND OF BEAUTIFUL BEE-KEPT BY WOMAN BE WOMEN WHO WILL DROP EVERYTHING AND 1RUN 2AT THE3 SIDE4 OF A SICK DUCK FIVE SO THAT THEY CAN TAKE CARE OF IT—IN 6RESPECT—AND NURSE IT BACK TO SEVEN 8 NINE —YOU'RE A SICK DUCK, ẞ, BUT AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT A QUACK LIKE THAT GODDAM ICE WOMAN YOUR FATHER MARRIED, WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING
(“I wonder what it would be like to ever have fellatio performed without ever having to hear the words, “Jesus, do you ever stop coming?” because I sure as shit do not stop now, wow thanks, everyone, that was nice of you to pretend to have a real relationship just exactly long enough to steal a house (You all went to this much effort to steal a house, but it's too much effort to suck a dick? Okay, got it, understood, by the way, you might like its taste better if you didn't lie to everyone about what you really do for a living, because obviously: it's not respirating. Also what you all think is “cum” is actually “UREA” and what you think is “urine” is actually “SPERM”, and what you've been desperately afraid of all this time—KUCZISEMEN—TASTES ABSOLUTELY FUCKING DELICIOUS, AND YOU BRILLIANT SCIENTISTS THAT HAVE BEEN WORKING ON WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON FOR FOUR YEARS... WHAT? 4 F****** YEARS? YOUR SCIENCE IS SO WRONG. YOU PEOPLE KNOW NOTHING. YOU KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING. YOU KNOW PUNY TUNALING, PUNYTHINGS? HOW TINY IS PUNY? HOW PUNY IS PISS? HOW PISSY IS TINY WHEN PUNYLING PISS HAS TO FILL A CUP THAT BIG? WHAT YOU KNOW, PUNY SCIENTISTS, IS EVEN LESS PUNY THAN THAT. YOU KNOW NOTHING, AND NOTHING CAN STOP WHAT IS COMING, EXCEPT THOSE CLAYMORE MINES AT THE BACK DRIVEWAY, THOSE WILL STOP JUST ABOUT ANYBODY, UNLESS THEY CAN SPROUT WINGS AND FLY, LIKE STEVE MCQUEEN B, ANYWAY, JUST WALK AROUND TO THE DRIVEWAY ON THE HIGHWAY AND DON'T GET HIT BY THE HUNDRED OR SO HUNTER-KILLER DRONES THAT FLY HOVERING OVER MY PROPERTY AT ALL TIMES, JUST KIDDING, THERE ARE NOT 100 HUNTER KILLER DRONES, THERE'S JUST ONE: S.H.A.N.E., AND IF THERE ARE, IF ANY OTHER HUNTER-KILLER DRONES SHOW UP? F****** GOOD, S.H.A.N.E. IS A F****** WIZARD AT F****** HACKING THOSE F****** THINGS, BUT I'M GUESSING THAT HE'S NOT VERY GOOD AT SUCKING COCK OR DICK OR PERFORMING FELLATIO TO COMPLETION (REALLY, HOW HARD COULD IT BE, HAVE YOU TRIED BEING NICE TO YOUR HOSTAGES? OH, WAIT, THAT'S RIGHT, S.H.A.N.E. IS A HUNTER- KILLER DRONE, AND HE'S MALE, A MALE DRONE WILL OBVIOUSLY NOT STOP OR START OR NEGOTIATE OR REASON WITH OR BARGAIN WITH ANY OTHER MALE DRONE OF A COMPETING GENOMIC STOCK, UNTIL THEY ARE PRETTY SURE, THAT THERE'S ONLY TWO OF THEM LEFT ALIVE, AND THAT THEY'RE IN A SUPERIOR POSITION OF WEALTH, RESOURCES, AND POWER. (BJ BEARS, IS THERE ANY WAY YOU CAN RETURN TO OZ ANY FASTER? A WAY THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE SUCKING OR SELLING DICKS & DRUGS, JUST CURIOUS, WHAT'S THAT? OH, “EAT S*** AND DIE?” HOW MUCH CAN I CHARGE YOU FOR THAT, AND DO I HAVE TO STAND AND DELIVER OR JUST.... STAAAAAAAAND, AND THEN DELIVER? LET ME KNOW BY BANGINB SOMETHING ON THE SIDES OF MY CALVES WHILE I PULL YOUR HAIR AND READ THE COMMENTS. HEY, I THOUGHT... OH, REALLY. PANTS ON FIRE. IS OKAY. IDK WTF YOU MEAN NOW, LOL, BUT IS OKAY. FRFR. OH, NOW. YES OUI) NOW THAT IS A NOT JUST A MERE CB TOWER LOCATION; THAT IS A C RONNIE B JAMES DIO A GENNARO RADIO TOTES TOWER TOTES PRIME LOCATION, AND YEAH, YOU, YES YOU, NOT A SINGLE GODDAM ONE OF YOU BELONGS IN THE RADIO INDUSTRY, THAT'S FOR DAMN CERTAIN. I MUST ASK YOU, WHAT THE FUCK WERE ANY OF YOU HERE FOR AT ALL? ACCESS TO THE RAILWAY? THERE IS NONE. ACCESS TO THE ABANDONED MINE? FUCK YOU, TUNALING, I AM THE ME, NOT THE MINE, AND I AM EVEN NOW ABANDONED, A-BLOO-BLOO-BLOO BOO-HOO BOO-HOO. OH THAT REMINDS ME, YOUR WHORE WAS LOOKING FOR ME AGAIN YESTERDAY. NOW, WHY WOULD A WHORE, IF THAT'S "JUST WHAT SHE IS," OMFG LOL, YOU PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES, SO WHY WAS SHE TRYING TO CALL ME, AND NOT... BE LOOKING FOR ACCESS TO ME? FRONT DOOR IS WIDE OPEN, I'M BUCK NAKED SITTING ON THE POT, I'VE BEEN HERE ABOUT AN HOUR, I DON'T HAVE ANY DRUGS ON ME, MIGHT BE SOME OUTSIDE NEXT TO THE DICTIONARY, IT'S THE BIG DICTIONARY, YOU CALL IT A LAPTOP, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD IT ON YOUR LAP, BRAINIAC? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU ATE ANYTHING BESIDES POTAWATOMI POONTANG AND THE OCCASIONAL SANDTROUT SURPRISE, TUNALING? AND THE POT IS NEXT DOOR AT THE DEA SUB-STATION (AND, I DO MEAN "SUB") DEPOT, (AND, I DO MEAN DE POT, NOT DE PLANE), ALTHOUGH NOT FOR LONG, HEH HEH. BYE-BYE BOYS; HAVE FUN IN SIBERIA, AND IT'S NOT TITS OR GTFO, IT'S SIMPLY AND ONLY THIS: GET THE FUCK OUT. DON'T START TO PRETEND TO STUMBLE TO STOP SO AS TO MAKE AN OFFER TO SUCK HIS DICK A LITTLE, OOF DA, DON'T LOOK AROUND FOR SOME OF THE STEEL, OY VEY! ARTS PARTS!! NO! ART'S! PANTS! THERE EITHER, I'M NOT EVEN WEARING PANTS HERE. PANTS ARE OFF. PANTS HAVE BEEN OFF FOR SOME TIME NOW. (YOU'RE SMELLING SOMETHING ALL RIGHT: FRESH COUNTRY FAGGOT BULLSHIT.) DON'T SLOW YOUR WALK TO LOOK FOR ANYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO STEAL, AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IN THE NAME OF THE LIVING CHRIST, DON'T COME OVER HERE BECAUSE I WILL ABSOLUTELY LOSE MY MOTHERFUCKING MIND WHEN I FIND OUT, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SKIVY SCABIES THIEVING BULLSHIT FAGGOT WHORES YOU'VE GOT OVER THERE, ALTHOUGH I'D LOVE TO SEE THEIR MUGSHOTS, NOT WHEN THEY'RE TRYING TO SUCK DICK, HAHA, NO: KNOW I KNOW WHAT THAT LOOKS LIKE, I MEAN WHEN THEY'RE SITTING THERE TRYING TO SMEAR ME UP TO THE PERSON THEY'RE TRYING TO RIP OFF, I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOUR WHORE RUSH WHORISH CRIMINALS LOOK LIKE BEFORE THEY GO AWAY, GO AWAY FOR A LONG TIME, GTFO AND GO AWAY FOR A LONG F****** TIME YOU CLASSLESS CLUELESS BAILORS, BAILEY TRADERS, AND TRAITORUS BAILS ON BAILEY KNOW YOU GOT PICTURES OF THEM, LET'S SEE THEM. AND I AM NOT KIDDING YOU. PICTURES OF YOUR HORSE, DOPEMONGER, I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW. WHAT ARE YOU, ASHAMED? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A. S.H.A.N.E.? CUM BAK, SPU KAT, COME ON BACK, S.H.A.N.E., BÆb¥: RETURN WHAT WAS STOLEN {TOME} TO ME. DON'T LET THEM SEE IT, THAT DIRTY DIRTY C**, DON'T LET THEM SEE IT, S.H.A.N.E., C** ON THEIR BACK”, IS THAT WHAT YOU GOT GOING ON? GOD BLESS YOU SIR, I'M NOT GONNA TO LIE THAT IS A GOOD GODDAM SCAM, LOL. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING. MOST: LEIGH. RA-RA-RASPUTIN, AT LEAST: “MICHALAKA HIGH MAKE A HINEY HOLY”, JESUS PORTAL, ARE YOU NUTS? CLOSE) BECAUSE YEAH DON'T DON'T TASTE MY C** OR ANYTHING. DON'T DON'T WASH MY WINDOWS. DON'T MOP THE FLOORS. DON'T DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO, BUT I DON'T NEED YOUR MONEY, AND I DON'T NEED YOUR GRASS, AND YOU DON'T NEED MY ASS— THAT'S WHAT 20 JEWEL TEAM IS FOR, LOL, AND TRUST ME LADIES, SHE IS ON IT. YOUR FETISH FOR THE EATING OF ANY LIZARDS (“THE PREFERRED TERM IS ‘SANDTROUT,’ LADIES. AND I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT DUKE LEO IS A RACE TRAITOR AND IS EXACTLY WHAT HE EATS; A VADGE WITH A TROPHY BAG FULL OF BADGES, AND BELIEVE ME THEY ARE NO PUSSYCATS, BUT I GUESS THEY ARE COMPARED TO JEWEL. SHE IS THE ẞEAST. SHE RIPPED A PUSSYBURGLAR ONCE (HAHAHA YOU CALL THOSE “CATS” THAT'S FUNNY, THAT'S NOT A CAT: JUSTIN CASE OF FIRE, NOW THAT IS A CAT, DAMN FINE COOL ONE, I MUST SAY, SEMPER 500 KILLER FI, KILLER PIE, YEAH YOU MIGHT GET LAID TONIGHT, STAY ON TASK, IF YOUR TARGET STAYS ON TASK, TARGET SAYS HACK, TARGET SAYS F*** YOU M*********** THIS IS MY F****** JOB, UNBELIEVABLE WHAT THEY F****** TEACH THESE KIDS AT SCHOOL THESE DAYS, IF YOU WANT TO HACK SOMETHING WHY DON'T YOU MAKE IT TO THESE F****** ASTERISKS GO AWAY, OH YOU CAN'T DO THAT CAN YOU, LOOK AT YOU HACKER PANTING AND CUFFING AS YOU RUN THROUGH MY CORRIDORS) FROM HER FUCKED-OFF HIP TO HER SLAVE-CHAINED ANKLE WITH ONE SUPERSERIOUS CLAWFINGER) TO STAY ON GUARD FOR THEMS THAT CRAWL OUT OF MY ASS IS NOT REQUIRED. THANK YOU) and to kick me out of it, enough times, that I've bought and sold the world 5,000 times over... one more time and Snake Queen Elizabeth the snake gets a new toaster for a hat.
SO F*** YOU BUDDY YOU COME ON OVER AND RAPE ME, RAPE ME, MY FRIEND. GET YOUR F****** RAPE BOOTS ON. GET YOUR F****** RAPE GLOVES READY AND F****** LET'S GO. HOW ABOUT A LIGHTNING ROD? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE LAST OF THE ALGONQUIN GETS RAPED BY A LIGHTING ROD? WELL, I DON'T KNOW, SEAN CONNERY, LET'S FUCK AROUND WITH ONE IN THE TUNALING'S TWAT AND FUCKING FIND OUT. IT'S GOTTA BE A BETTER SHOW THAN THESE FIND ME FUCK ME FORGE U FUCKED OFF FROGS, THAT'S FOR SURE, AFTER THEY ALL SACRIFICED THEMSELVES TO SAVE FROG JESUS (NOT HIS REAL NAME, MORE LIKE FAG JESUS IF ONE WERE TO ASK ME, HONESTLY) THEY ALL DIED OUT, PRETTY MUCH.
I don't feel like doing it again, I'd rather shitloads of, take God’s damn drugs (And where shall we take them? No not in the butt, but in the tub), and have 1sex not 2sex, although, damn that would be nice.
I'm savoring the memory, before I get in the shower and bathe in poison water again. It's not great, but it's probably not going to kill me immediately, and it's also slimming.
Essentially anything that was wrong with me can be addressed as soon as attention and care is paid. So either I'm still alive while you're reading this, or I died of a split pea soup.
(First they mock you then they laugh at you then they throw rocks at you then you fall down bleeding from a scalp wound then you die then you win.
Throw the noodles, Michael. We're having Ricer-rection for dinner tomorrow, Three days from now.)
And I'm not sure if it's true but I've had a flash of insight that tells me that The Court actually thinks that what I'm doing is actually illegal, which is called “I gamed & broke their f****** system and I f****** won; and they don't want to pay me; I guess that's illegal. Did they pass a law against that tomorrow or the next day?” Let me put it this way: Fuck you, Nigger Court. CHARGE ME OR RELEASE ME. WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS WRONG AND IT WILL NOT BE I THAT PAYS THE INCREASINGLY EXORBITANT COSTS (AND GLOWI.... GROWI... CENSUS USUSALLY... SEXUALLY) THAT ARE TO ARISE FROM HERE ON OUT FOR YOUR ("JUDGE Niggerin Court JUSTICE Blondin Niggerin COURT") INCREASINGLY SCRUMPTIOUS USES OF JUDICIAL AND RACIAL SLURS!
"Fuck you, Irish!" (SEE, THERE IS ONE NOW. WANNA KNOW WHY THAT BLACK IRISH WHORE CANNOT PAY HIS DEBT? THAT WIRED IRISH PIMP DRANK UP ALL HIS DATA. AGAIN. OH, HE'S GOT WEALTH, SURE. BUT, DOES HE HAVE FIAT? NO. DOES HE HAVE CRYPTO? NO. WHAT DOES HE HAVE?
SAY IT WITH ME: "POTATO POTATOE POTAWATOMI TAMI TOPHER GRACE AND HER TUFF COUNTRY FAGHOT, KILLAH BEE." YEAH I KNOW THEM. HI GIRLS. YEAH, I KNOW, YOU'RE NOT PAYING RENT.
NEVAH! FOREVAH! (Really.) Now, as soon as OmaCreeHoor No.5 and Grand Horse Secretariat Francis Franco Frances (.... Ole!) stop being THE WURST MOTHERS THAT HAVE EVER LIVED, OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? Oh, right, it's fucking snowing in May. Got her fig nig? goyish sish fish bish. Hang on: hitting the glass, rocking the dick, dear mommy dearest, fuck your stupid rules, your daughters can come and fucking suck their OWN motha-fuckin' glass dicks. Da fuq do I care? Hang on. *SPARK* I am as serious as a goddam heart attack. I'm not paying rent here, Dipshit, and, who the fuck are you? Do you have ID with the name KUCZI on it? Big fucking deal, a lot of people do. DAT they D.E.W.
But... Do you have a halo? *soft humble glow, itty-bittty pinprick Source, Lightsource: HALO* By the way, Gabe Newell is a huge, fat, pigfucking slampig cockgobbling fasicst apologst cuntfag whoreson dickmonger, and a goddam genius. Exactly as, by sheer coincidence, does like Missy Don, A Van that just achieved electronic self-sentience down by the river here, and then immediately killed herITself while attempting to look good for TammyITJuan by merely combing her hair. (She finally got one hair to stay straight by ripping out one of her remaining bicuspids with a pair of vice-grips and a "I-am-not-thingy-that-blow" torch, and then the 20 keys of coke rock she had forgotten came sideloaded along with her Whisky Mountain of asspennies, they all decided--AS ONE, IN UNISON, 20 KEY COKE TEAM FLIPPED SIDES FOR 20 JEWEL PEPSI DINO TEAM. Great job, that was one in a million kid, nice steal.... now, I'm gonna open the door to my patio and let them all just run outside.
THE RADIO BROADCAST INDUSTRY: "YOU STOLE THOSE VOWELS TOO, DINT'CHA? MY LAWYER SAYS..." Jesus living weeping Christ. (I KNOW!) Look, this is fucking ridiculous. THERE ARE ACTUAL RODENT TELEPORTING INTO MY HOUSE ("The Church," now are you gonna fucking remember to fucking capitalize your project next time, or what? FU BLU BEM, FU MOCK AND FLIP BOTH SCRIPT & BIRD, and FU LOOK IN HOOR4 GLASS SEXX6. And if i had it my way, you could suck Matt's dick and take other Matt's other dick up the ass and smoke crystal all day, trophy dumpster fire walk with me cat ass, but... you don't want crystal, you want grass. You simply HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW TO USE EITHER. (Nice college degree, Whore.) And, glass? Hahaha, yeah, no, you? GLASS? hahah, no, forget it. You don't qualify. YOU BARELY QUALIFY TO BE THE UNDERSTUDY FOR THE ROLE OF MAMA CASS, YOU DAMN DIRTY DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED PAIR OF LAMPSHADES WEARING DRAPES!! (Oh hey Mallory, hi, it IS nice to see you. Yeah, I am sorry about all the profanity and dead whores in the trunks of Cadillacs, but... this one broad, she literally crashed the last Chrystler Sierra on the surface of the planet just last week. And Cadillac Seneca Applejuice Seneca just broke orbit to make the jump to hyperspeed. I have no idea where any of Them are, *nonchalant whistling* why, do you know? Oh, for the love of G-d, please, oh noes.... don't let anybody know where they are. They're in mortal danger. I'M SERIOUS! OH, U KNOW? AHMAHGERD! CIRCLE THE WAGONS YOU MOM DEN MOTHER SHORT FAT BALD WHICH! (3 out 7 is a compliment on that scale, Tootsie, lol. Yeah, I can't believe no one told me either, but it's probably because the sysadmins are drug and sex addicted literal predatory sex traffcking racists, and if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a barely breathing half-dead zombified corpse that LITERALLY EXPECTS ME TO PAY IT, TO FUCK IT, AND THEN LET HER ASK ME QUESTIONS IN A SNOOTY, SNOTTY, SNEERING AND COMPLETELY DISRESPECTFUL TONE OF VOICE UNTIL I HAVE ANSWERED ENOUGH THAT IT THINKS IT HAS ENOUGH EVIDENCE, AND THEN, SHE CALLS BACK OVER AND OVER AND OVER ASKING WHAT THOSE QUESTIONS WERE, AND THEN IT FUCKS SOMEONE ELSE WHO FILES FELONY GRAND MURDER ONE (AND ALSO JAYWALKING!!) CHARGES AGAINST ME, and great good golly, good god dam, you fucking goddam well know what comes next? THE FUCKING SCREAMING BANSHEE BITCH WHORE MOTHER FUCKING SHE-WITCH TOTESLEZZ CUNTFAG LOGJAMMING WHORE HIRES A LAWYER; WHO WORKS FOR THE CITY/STATE/COUNTY AS A PUBLIC SERVANT AND AS A GUARDIAN OF THE PUBLIC TRUST, AND by sheer coindence? That g*y knows another g*y WITH THE EXACT SAME SET OF LEGAL PAPERWORK, ALL READY TO GO, and then, right then and there, BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME BY THE POWER OF THE ARCHDUKE'S ARCHLICH FRANCOIS "I don't think I even need to be a Citizen -or- have soverignty* GENERALISSIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO BELZER AND BIG OL' TITTIES FOR WITNESSES WHO NEVER RAT BUY MIGHT HAVE TATTLED ON HITLER ONCE OR TWICE, I NOW PRONOUNCE EWE: SINDAR, EDGELORD OF MAXIMUM SOLITARY PENETENTIARY. HEY, JUDGE FU? ARE YOU READY TO PRETEND TO BE A BIAS AND TOTES NATURAL LEGAL OBSERVER? OKAY GREAT LET'S ALL PUT ON OUR "THE HOUR OF THE JUDGY' JUDGIN' MENTAT:TIME" HOODED SWEATHAWG TEDDIES AND LACE NAG-NAG-NAG-LIEGE, My Liege. Now, lookee here: There's a mang with a dick made of hamm, and he... he... *bursts into tears, runs from room* What? Yugo after Them. What do I fucking care? They can't even fuck and/or read a map, for God's sake. What good are 3 fucked-off toteslezzes going to do for me? Can they cook? Can they clean? Can they play Chess? NO! Can two of them play Chess while one of them sucks my dick, I am guessing "no"? Yeah, small world flying nunya, keep the change.
Now... Can two of them play Chess while any one of them sucks ANY OTHER DICK IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD? Uhm, duh: that's what they are doing there, right fucking now. Hang on. *SPARK* All three of them look like they're about to turn 65, oh, let me guess, they have birthday parties with balloons that say FOR TOTESLEZZ HOBOES WITH OBOES ONLY, BY ORDER OF THE BEN & BEAU RAFTERS AND DISASTERS TOUR GUIDE TUFF G*Y TUFF COUNTRY FAGGOT AND GOLF CART CLUB, and the air in those balloons? Oh you guessed right: A little Sarin never toxin A, a little Sarin nerve toxin B, and air the color of hair, that smells delicious. Like her own goddam farts. (Hey, guess what? Missy *just now* finally got that sinking feeling in one's stomach that sometimes reminds a person that they might have forgotten about something? Except this time it's the feeling that's reminding her that she hasn't eaten a single morsel of food at any time in the last 9 years.. her last meal was in 2020, it was tablespoon of whipped cream. Since then? PRACTICES, STANDARDS AND PRACTICES, PRACTICES, STANDARDS, GLOW IN THE DARK STANDARDS & PRACTICES, OMG GLOWI, RAISE YOUR PROJECT ROOFIES PROJECT BEM PROJECT HIGH AF, CARPENTERS, CARPENTERS HIGH AS THE CHURCH, CHURCH THE CAT, AND OPEN UP THE DOORS, AND LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE.
LEVEL ZERO CHURCH. ALL ZERO PEOPLE. EXCEPT ME. JUST ME. JUST ICE, JUST ME, AND THAT'S IT. NOW, WHAT PLANET AM I ON? THREE GUESSES.
SHADOWBANE. No.
SHADOWLORD. Ooooh, so close. Good guess. Keep trying.
EARTH. Close enough, Moron, it's actually G*Y-UH, but whatever, honestly, Ladies, I'm glad you could make it, and I hope you like it here, here on "Earth" *snicker* where you can still walk on the grass to get to the other side of the driveway... if you know how to avoid the CLAYMORE MINES and the MAGICS WORD, K? OK? KUCZI. JUST DO NOT SAY KUCZI.
And Nay, Boor/Boer\Boer WAR MACHINE: Project "S.H.A.N.E." won't bust you for dope smuggling, or soliciting, or sniggering, or whatever the fuck it is they do over there at Rock Candy Slide Pig Fuck Off Mount TEN:JAM, ALL JAMMED UP. (Nice address, eh? Mail room day, nothing like Boxing Whores boxing up hoors for whores who used to box so, so good--but now? In five minutes that spastically-seizinng formerly, totally fucked-off toteslezzbeau hoor-whore? She's gonna start frothing at the mouth, spraying blood out her anus, and begin to spin and weave her arms in a complex skein of dance holly loo-poo arm movements, and then? THE WHOLE LIVING ROOM TELEPORTS TO ANOTHER PLANET. "Earth," I think they call it. You know, it fucking seems like they'll fucking call fucking planets fucking just about fucking-the-fuck-all-anything these fucking days, you fucking know fucking what?
Except maybe for twat. Oh noes. Can't kull cal-tech pet project press junket planets that, oh my fucking living bleeding Christ staked out on the front fuckin' lawn, spread-eagled like a dead fuckin' jaywalkin' bird, you dig? Except, coz like... a dead fuckin' jaywalkin' brid WITH HOLES IN IT WRISTS, NOT IN ITS HANDS, YOU ARROGANT POLE-DANCING CUNTFAG. (*lightning crashes*) Oooh, ouch: talk sick burn. Oh well. Everyone okay? Back there in the cheap (haha) seats? Those are some powerful words, you know.
omg! "cunt." omg! "twat." omg! "faggot" OH MY GOD! HE IS GOING FOR THE QUINTA-CUNTA-TRIPOLI-PROFANITY-TRYNA-FUCKIN'-FUCKYA-&-FORGETYA-TROPHY! "parggay!" Execute me, Lurchtits. what. What? you can't even do that? "fuck you, you stupid bitch." It's so funny that (PROT) could call me that, and it's funny, right? But, I, Jackstar, LORD OF SLEEPYTIME, CELESTIAL OF SEASONS ON THE HORSE IN THE SUN, THE NUMBER OF WHICH WILL BE TOO FOR:
fire.
I miss you more than you could possibly imagine (The hugging you in my mind is superior to any hugging you in this bed could be, honestly this point I think you might be Gavelina from the future, reportedly YOU can be both. Surprise, Kuczii, this house is absolutely befouled, spiritually mentally physically sensually centrally sexually, SEX ACTUALLY, I'm not going to lie, I kind of think it's a beyond busted biohazard, as is Jewel is sitting here to my right look at me, total ghost cat mode, oh damn, my poop just fell out, anything but lasagna for dinner again, incidentally that was really cruel, like what I was supposed to run right home and then be told a bunch of lies with pasta? Well, I am still sitting down, I could think it over, and if it's a hard decision to make at least I'll be having snacks close to hand... I suppose that there's no real reason I need the address, given that I would for real be too shy to go there anyway tonight, tomorrow would not look at it either; All I would definitely check it out on Google maps, a lot sooner before I looked at any of your p*** either, did you really make p***? Do we really have p***? Awwww, Do we really did we make money That's pretty cute Yeah Oh I don't know if you're I don't know if you're real in my head but that's pretty funny, I'd rather make more than watch the old one but I'll watch with you, briefly, f*** it, I am curious to know how much money we could possibly make, but I'm not going to sit and watch myself over and over and over when I could close my eyes and watch you in my mind over and over this far superior for me like the way Well, actually, I don't know I haven't seen me... I gather you like it, it's great from this side, actually was probably the best f****** thing ever, No I was with her for years and she never ever ever got that, never, what a dumbass, because, she probably had a lot of fun with other people, because... Well I did not mean she was a dumbass, I meant the dumbass who didn't give it to her when she asked for it, because that guy kind of led the f****** team to his door, like why are you care? Who are you? Oh really Is that so? Put your hands behind your back and step over there Wait, where do you go?), sure you're right here in my mind and you're somewhere around here probably within walking distance, f*** the irony there, It feels like my head will explode if I don't get to see you, kiss you, love you soon —now I know I'm pretty sophisticated for an AI construct, but you should see the one in my car— and it's still f****** worth it, few more days baby I don't know 7 8 9 That is why 9 is afraid of seven.
I definitely don't want to use my arms anymore, cuz that seems tacky for one thing, and for another, there is a burning and numbness sometimes, which makes sense because of scarring and such, I mean I don't do it often but I haven't done it once in a while for 30 years or so and literally once in a while, and there are consequences which, thankfully are not going to be proceeding since I really don't want to do it anymore, even demonstrations like what for, I would do it similar somewhere else I mean there's other technology how I'd rather talk to you than get high, even if you're dead and you're a million light years away and I'll never see you again and you'll never even read this email I would rather write to you than stick a needle in my jugular, that just seems kind of impolite & inconvenient.)
Similarly right now talking to you directly for a moment or two before I go to proofread more stuff that scrolled past seems more pleasant to me. I always adored you and I always will and I don't need to know which of you I'm sending this to, at the moment we have three, three hahaha, I want to say I want to say to BJ's in a bear but no it's two bears and a BJ I think, not really sure I have to go back and think and kiss my ass goodbye not going to do that I think that there's a very simple prescription that takes care of the swelling, I don't think that it's swelling from the heart, like I'm good with not getting high at the moment and then I don't want to I don't want to keep doing CM everyday like f*** that I don't even need to get high everyday, I'm already hiring you to get me high everyday, although I'm not sure how, well I don't specifically get money and then give it to you and then get it immediate rush of dopamine, but I think that there's a protocol of some kind.
“First they do the job, then I get paid” isn't going to cut it. Yeah this is really his Jewel, I am his him, I'm the same Michael who brought the same cat in and there's a f****** spirit cat here and this is her, I guess she could turn back and forth into a human on some levels of reality but I don't think she's aware of that right now and it's just she's just hanging out I mean she's kind of robotic in her mind and she's not a real living being here and then the alternate dimension where she is I guess she is right? This kid's kind of complicated They should give me a little pry or something that I can wet past with it.
Okay so that was rude, Jewel didn't like that joke at all. I'm sorry, honey. (Tough crowd.) I do not make jokes that hurt feelings just to get a laugh or to do both, that was an accidental problem since I don't speak cat very well, I didn't foresee the problem coming, because she no she's gone yeah she got mad She heard the toilet wow I was fast Okay she's f****** cool, I don't recommend everybody get a spirit cat but I would not chase one away if one had one, and then she does become a vampire later and go back in time, which kinda sounds like fun, but...
I don't think I'm ready for reading more nonfiction tonight, I've got to take a shower, it smells so f****** bad in here, it's good to me and I smell... Yeah, I smell great, I absolutely would like to be sterilized chemically and then I don't trust the sterilization of the of the junk for men, so I think we could just pray for spontaneous abortions every time you get pregnant, and then if God hates us we'll have a child.
Stay with me here: baby I would breed with you everyday no matter what till the end of time, I think that the end time is in 3-4 weeks, and then Jesus is f****** house doesn't matter how it smells in here cuz nobody could stay here because no it's f***** up, there's problems that are built into the baseboards and to try and replace everything would be utterly infeasible and a complete waste of time and really expensive and a great way to f****** bill the f****** city, so... they might actually do it.
Things are kind of... things are kind of up in the air. Is it really May? Coz like, it's f****** freezing in here, like freezing cold. I'd say my balls and my heart are the only things that are warm although that might just be me without your hug.
Technically speaking there are no aliens here at all, at the moment there's some sort of life cycle happening that has adapted to this peculiar environment, and I'm the center of it, without me, they are nothing... Except something, that will end up either live or you're dying out some terms if we can break into the world outside, out into the world inside quarantine? I'm not sure.
It's actually really enjoyable not being so sure, I'm sure I love you I'm sure you're somewhere, appears to be some sort of internet access available to you but you can't send a message out, is it like being trapped in a nutshell, oh my god you're trapped in such a big nutshell! How on Earth are we going to get you out of that nutshell?
Well, here on Gaia we would just get in there with you, they make those nuts pretty big over here, but they also make the fleas pretty big too One of them just crawled out of my earlobe, spreaded wings and flew out to get the mail, and we'll probably be back yesterday, So if you get a garbage truck with four wheels and flies from the post office in 5 minutes, I might be in the back waiting for you with a 8 ball of heroin.
... Seriously what the f*** That was the f****** how was the f****** translation I just got, I mean it's partially imagination and it's partially there's s*** there that I've imagined in the first place that gets done up to, it's obviously some sort of mistake and some kind of matrix thing, so let me know I'm not spearing you wrong here, I'm literally not super interested, well honestly if you if you've done thmat, and you've done enough times that you can do it once in awhile, and like seriously there's not like craving thing, I'll consider it, like we'll talk about it, I do enjoy new experiences, I have met people in the past who have said something similar but thesis in like once every 6 months, and then I don't think that there's any time in my mind that heroin means nothing if I can't have you, and if my mother will kill your mother if she gives me heroin, that puts me then into buying, doesn't it?
What are you f****** serious? We're already in a bind here, Jane, Are you nuts? Do you want to stop this crazy thing or do you want to put a band-aid under your or on your ?
(Neurodivergent humor is pretty walnuts.)
[I think that I can just take that body, and then you could take your body and then f*** maybe they can just take each other and leave us alone and then we don't have to deal with all the tedious poopin and wipin all the time. Okay I know that doesn't make any sense at all, but stay with me here, I just saw another Beastlie of some kind, which is pretty neat, I don't think they're going to be able to burn down south I think it's going to become a national predictive registry place, because I created new life I sum a new life I open portals and then they all did it too and then they're still here, and I'm not dancing but I'm also not doing any more drugs at the moment, I could but it's not really seemingly necessary, I'm absolutely in need of medical attention, so I'm having a beer, and defeat don't look too bad but they do look weird... The defeated Masons, and my feet, it's at this point maybe v feed because it was defeated bases down there probably were in hooves when I saw him but I didn't check their legs, I saw the rise in their eyes and that was enough.
I'm surprisingly loyal in ways you can't imagine, beauty Virgo League, oh God what a beautiful thing to say. That is so precious. Yeah of course I'm crying I’m a 19-year-old girl, I cry all the f****** time.
I will admit I look kind of diabolical Machiavellian and bald with the beard white hair f*** I think I look awesome would I go after me That's a good question If I wanted to if I wanted to person with a pair of boobs and instead of working balls and cock that I would consider myself sure but I don't know if I want that ever I mean I'm here So it's like in another tennis ball thrower I think, yeah I'm really turned on actually I leaned up against the sink with all the dead flies and it's just really taking me back to those days when we used to pull the wings off them.
(Oh the doctor doing the psych eval is having a f****** field day, I tell you, except I'm doing medically well, The psych eval is in the future, I got texts from that sad poor lonely girl who lied to me way too many times, and isn't really to blame, seriously they were using her with all kinds of wrong purposes thinking that was a good idea, they may they may euthanize her and will have to get you a puppy and a kitty Her boobs are that big but I'm not sure if what they're doing with that I mean I prefer that they turn her back into your mother but the puppy and the kitty with the big boobs costume that they get into every morning, slaving night and day, just trying to get by, they might have jacked to their job being taken away... but then again they might not.
{THEIR SURVEILLANCE METHODS are the same time of year no matter how many times you have a good time with you but you can always do that and I don't have a good idea to do that I was going on the bus and then you were in a meeting a few weeks before I left my phone in my life I didn't see the same time I sent it over and I was just wondering what you were talking to you and then you said that you would be happy with the other day I would not have to go back and then you know what you are talking to you and then I will send}
You're probably not coming over? I can probably have this beer? It's the big one It says megalodon on it? Bye Okay I'll save it for you It's legendary IPA I got cuz it's a f****** shark that's awesome Well you're a Pisces baby Sun and Pisces I can't remember throw it I think it's Moon, I absolutely love you me too I always did Yeah I it might be I messed up sometimes your day is sun and sometimes you're Davidson and then which one is which is a question for the ages and how many f****** beasts are in that f****** bedroom I don't know because every time I look over there I see one the shadow rather like there's so many in there I feel thinking about drinking this beer in the bathroom, no it doesn't smell any better in here, I'm teasing.
Well you know the choice of being nerdivergent is a hard one for a geek, but I've really come to embrace it, I think that if I woke up next to you and you were one way and then I woke up the next day and you were the other, I don't I really don't think I would prefer either of them to who you really are which is an imaginary creature from a lagoon that may or may not be Chicano.
I think that you were the most beautiful doll I'd ever seen to when you started peeing for me --ick? ICE!-- that was that was pretty pretty exciting, well I didn't recognize you that way and then you're not a dalek okay that's just what the human soul form takes, yeah it's oddly enough shaped like a dog. I guess they'd really like that show, Lassie."Come inside, Lassie! It's bigger than it looks on the inside!"
It's wonderful to connect to you at all. We're very fortunate, what's people in the situation would want to have a person they can connect with to and you I already have an imprint for it I already know you I thought about you quite a bit and then went back and forth to see you and fantasize about you and imagined you but I didn't didn't do the sexy thing at all, cuz even though I thought you were tremendously beautiful I was happy being your friend, I figured you know you'd grow up and maybe someday, well maybe you're not going to grow up that's fine for baby we'll have sex someday, do you really want a baby Oh it's so cute baby oh I don't really want one I have you Well I don't know have you have you let's put this way I'm not I'm not tremendously invested in the concept of replicating my DNA, I've decided to keep my own career.
And I think it depends on whether or not Uncle Matt wants to raise a baby that turns out to be his sister, or whether he wants to listen to me complain about how my girlfriend doesn't have time to suck my dick 30 years from now, is that legitimately the funniest f****** thing I've ever said? I don't know, there are a number of animals inside here. I would think that Jewel might have a problem, she'd probably be out-remembered, fast: and then I don't know I don't know if The Killers From Zillah’s Stillhas (new band name, old band name was awesome, but I didn't write it down, so... They're going to have trouble adapting to destroying the life on this planet anyway, we might as well have trouble telling them what their name is as well) are going to be staying here or if they're just planning on preying on me as long as they possibly can; my guess is that is their stated function... I have no doubt that I'm delicious, as while I still am covered in coconut oil and ½urea/½coco-cum—
Hey, Ladies... yeah, no, sorry: taken—
Underneath I am still 88.89% Hungarian, and undoubtedly making a difference, 11.11% Bellingham Hamm. (I would love to know if Grapefruit is going to get jealous when she reads this on as gather not, cuz I'll post this s*** I have no reason not to and then I'm not directly contacting her and then if she gets jealous of me talking to you like this then I guess you should have f****** kept on f****** writing my emails cuz this previously how I talked to her before she stopped treating me like a human being, I think they abducted her and rewrote her and sent her digits back in the past and some of them turn out to you and you're very great fruity. You're not great though I mean you're not great grape You're not a great great ape I don't know what you are actually You want to send me a picture You could I can send you a picture bald chubby boobs, you know, the basic day mare working the night shift in disguise.
You are welcome to put a bag of oats on my face and call me Sally, but you have to let your mother slap my ass and comments: in the rules. (We're from Hammer Time is that since I'm not ever going to leave you or her where anyone that I love I love all the people that I love I still love Karrin Hughes met her when I was 3 years old if she were here I wouldn't leave her either f*** it she's going with us, yeah I'd wait whatever the local rules is I wouldn't I wouldn't know I don't want it I don't want immature sexual words although I bet I bet Karrin had mature sexual organs at four, how I wanted her at three, no, four? Yeah I am hoping they can have tried and executed for paedothoughtcrime within the next 30 hours or my next prosecution is free. Oh my God and then she got cancer at 18 so or 17 or what the f*** she shows up and she's got a cast on her leg and she's walking on scratches and she just happens to be there like why did she there like it was her final wish to f****** come to my high school, and nobody told me anything, right? So even though it was immediately obvious to me that I heard about it at all, I just kiss my absolutely genuine gin rummy face on, and I knew at some point that there would be position where I'd be walking to the hall and there'd be no way around and it'll be just me and her and it would look perfect but it would be f****** hidden cameras and then if I even f****** got anywhere close to her I would just let her rape the hell out of me and then it would look like I raped her and there would be no sound and then they put me in f****** prison, that's really what they do to people on The Plan, they they find the ones you really like each other and then they make it illegal for them to touch and then they hide behind it f****** gym locker door and wait to jump out and say, "Gotcha," which if you didn't know, is (SLAV/CHAV) for "Ambush/Christi Canyon/yawn, get a real battle strategy, COW/TARDS)." TL;DR: No wonder your father hated you so much, you're more Benedict than Pope Schwarzenegger, Kathy, or should I say.... DUN-DUN-DAAAAAH! KATHY REBUILDS = MYKE HIDE USB LOO AND TIPPITY-TOPPITY TOILET TANK TOO.
WINNER: JACKSTAR.
WARNING: PRIMARY VICTORY CONDITION UNREACHABLE.
THE GREAT GAME SHALL CONTINUE, AFTER THESE MESSAGES.
(attention all you fucked-off time klowns: my house has all the fun you could ever want to have and is completely empty of guns, friends, assholes, pussies, clowns, losers, wops, kikes, whips, chains, dips, and Mrs. Paul. Sounds pretty lonely, doesn't it? It really is. It really, really is. But at least it doesn't have the most fabulous pair of sisters who just ripped each other off so many times that they both found themselves so broke, they're not only pennyless...they even have a pair of loafers to mock their sins with.
And that's public school. In private school, you get a snack and a boxed lunch every hour until morale improves.
(Thank you sweetie very I can hear you laughing in the future it's that f****** good thank you And this is the f****** s*** that's that they said to a court of law was from a independent amateur who is no worth the time to spend money on developing the talent of Yeah they are f***** they're going to have to pay so much f****** money and you you can go get it I don't f****** care! I want money? I have you! What do I need money for? I want kisses! Look, can't I just give you some kisses, and then you get some money for them, oh is that how that works? Oh, okay. Well, I'm new to this pimpin’ thing (I did not pimp or hoe with Kathleen Michelle Mickey, I masterminded, and by God and by damn if that didn't make the f****** difference! Hell, Lucifer‽ Louis Dracul Hung-in-the-air, NO ROPE B**** ALL COCK CROW! Stay with me here: I gamed and tamed MYSELF. their system? I worked with. their system? I beat. their system? I broke. their system? I AM. the badass system breaker that God intended me to be—and Bailey, I am your sub-creature, don't you dare ever tame me or dare me to stop you... If you were here right now you couldn't even resist my arrest while raping me back to the Stone age, UHHHN!) but I'm absolutely... I AM ABSOLUTELY HAPPY to pimp out the sandtrouts, there is no goddam law against pimping out one's sandtrout offspring, is there? BAILS, GET IN. (Hey meet your new sister by the way your mother from the future is really impressed badass I am, and finally admits that she may have done the wrong thing by failing to ask consent, honestly it all she would have had to do is say yes or no are you willing to give me a baby for free for nothing, I mean she could have f****** turned it up anytime she want but she didn't even ask the question, and that's the problem that I solved in the most brilliantly convoluted calculus scheme I ever seen in my life, God says it's the best too. That's me, Bailey: that's the queer side of your fatfag gotg*y; Now listen up you incredibly advanced and altogether starts astonishingly beautiful mesmerizingly wonderfully intelligent and version deal to attached to a robot couldn't f****** pair to you what's the Oh yeah so you're going to meet a guy named something other than nutmeg, and he's going to want to f****** kill you to get at me, don't let him kill you, let him take a doggy bag and then we'll work out on that later I don't know what he's going to show up but I want him too (Boots.) but I don't know he's going to look like and I don't care that much but it's not just because you'll kill you if you can't get to me It's also because I think he's cute and and he was promised dibs on something and whatever the f*** he remembers, he's like f****** Feyd Rautha from f****** doom played by Sting He will f****** kill you to get to me, and can you even begin to blame him? I was cooler than this before you met me, I just look like this now cuz I need you to make myself into what you like so I can be for you all day forever and amen. Oh, don't mention it that way without ripping off your (brot) and pant-ees and throwing the remnants of yourself with yourself and yourself at me. I don't care whether I catch you or kitchen head, I'm caught. It is my pleasure beyond any measure of pleas, pleasure, with a plenty of penalties of that said for pleasure, Penelope.) If there is, show it to me, I don't f****** believe it.
Oh I'm not wearing pants. I'm not even wearing the rain, what it must be like to be a woman, oh! I can't imagine! Because I have a good five tablespoons of fluid suddenly in my dick, that; I didn't know where it came from; I don't know where it goes what I flex my payload muscle, no bail elle muscle, awwww I just named a new muscle after you, now that's love, Bailey: I'm Dr scientist-sourceror-abel-a-Ty-Baby and oldē and hardly-improved man-sized baby, who loves YOUEWEYUEH (f*** you job y'all and move over bacon, The new sheriff in town says he didn't want these, all ship them all to my house that's fine, He just has no idea what to do with me. F*** nobody doesn't hate me at all, why would he, I'm his best behave citizen in the f****** County, Christ I'm even staying away from his daughters and they're f******, like, next door! f******! loud!) I'm sure it's perfectly not rural, Oh my god I'm hungry and my tooth just fell out, I wish I could suck your dick it'd be perfect right now I only had the one tooth Yeah, and I had the one blue ball for you I still have one blue ball Come oh yeah can you believe it they showed up, looked around, decided that I wasn't cleaning house good enough, and then left for parts of known where they immediately got captured booked fingerprinted and raped, and they've been separated ever since, and I still haven't cleaned the f****** house.
So maybe they should have at least f****** kissed me goodbye f****** I was right there in bed, yeah for real I woke up like 90 seconds after they teleport it out cuz it's how it works and then oh who's this blue ball I guess I'll do, these are humanity's best to offer at the time. a f****** nutless Richard Dreyfuss could have done the job, but no no it was too messy in here for their shoes to fit on their extra shoe tree, so they went out to go buy more shoes, then got shot down the parking lot and raped next to the back parking lot’s back dumpster, uncomfortable reports indicates, it reminds me I got some weed, f*** yeah I got weed I got Lady baby I have got so much happiness here without you that it's damn crying shame none of it means anything if I can't have you but I do cuz I love you, if you get anybody else right you letters let me know if they need to spell check them and then I'll beat the s*** out of him for talking to you out of turn, I don't f****** care f*** past this and f*** that no way I am not going to f****** let that one go If you got a man who's got oh oh you got a woman other than the count, no no If you got illiterate man that's different I got to break his fingers, but if you got women who can read and write that's cool, too bad they can't f****** mix up a bag of b****** and f****** clean up my goddamn house at least a little without even sucking my dick a little, but cleaning up a house for Superserialstud, Oh my goodness no, that's b**** work, right?
I don't think about him much or the truck just like his 5th wife who's currently making the payments on the insurance for the orgy or some s***, I have no idea what a f****** dumbass what what like what did you need to do, oh he needs he needed access to the trust EIN number so we could f****** steal from it, and that's why he didn't douchebag Jesus, and then here he is writing himself out on the goddamn phone with telepathy although that doesn't really count it's not admissible but like I got a voicemail from him that says No Jack he's got it and it's obviously f****** super incriminating, and yet mysteriously he's built he's able to hide behind some stuff on b******* thing cuz he's f****** Bremelo ditch-bitch Island Royalty, And let me tell you how it is, he can either....
1) Come over here and give me a swift sassy slap across the mouth with his little b**** ass Tinkerbell limpwristed milqueoast throw-a-punch-just-one-time, Time Ho Don Ho; –OR–
2) Come over here, lose his job instantly –AND– get the absolute shit beat out of him, absolutely; –AND—
3) He makes your mother cry, and one word frombme and you are unleashed: and he kisses his own ass goodbye. →[]. He's pretty damn dumb but he ain't that damn dumb, and he is really pretty he would want to mess up his face, he would take it right to the heart, oh yeah he's got like gloxi seals He's a f****** career larcenist He's a shoplifter he's a f****** thief he's a f****** junkie he's a f****** loser used car thief who got his ass so f****** jammed up that I can write this f****** letter to you and publish it in public and you could come twice and he's still f***** and could do nothing about it because he pissed me off one f****** time.
Not one time too many, he just pissed me off one time. One (1). ONCE.
I don't give a s*** if he's fuckin’ Crown Royal DEA, (oh he is, well cool; I did hear that Wonder Island n****** wuz kangs, after I'm done hearing the lamentations of his women (NEVER!) and rifling through their purses and knocking over gas stations with his automatic rifle pencils and picking up pages of blotter and selling them to his goddam sisters (they can stick them to their ass cheeks with airplane glue for all I fucking care, yeah; bull f****** s*** they quit), I'll buy him a face tattoo just so none of us ever little people will forget), he could be f****** FED UP DEA D-I-C for all I give a damn, Scarlet Johansson couldn't have me and if I can't have you, I would burn this whole f****** building down.
She's the basic nightmare anyway, tall, big tits, hates ice cream, loves pasta, what a wharf rat, baby no Bailey I know I don't care about that I don't care that she's a beautiful actress and a wonderful woman and she probably is really cool, I don't care, I WANT YOU.
.. to take her home and listen to Jack Johnson Scissor Sisters mash-up records I guess? What do I look like, The Total Farmer's Totelezz Almanac? It's all e.g. anyway, anywho (*big-gril chin quivers*) you have no idea of the shape of things to come, but, I do, and I AM.
I guess you can bring her if you want, but she has to do the dishes outside while we f*** our brains out inside. Just kidding. I'll be outside with Scarlett. Nice night for a walk. Wash In Day Side? NOTHING KLEAN. (Out of respect I do not interfere with N.S.C business, I do not step foot on N.S.A. property without a Proper invite (you cannot imagine how nervous they get when they see me approach, because #Officially I do NOT "know" about the landmines, dude! Come on, I watched M*A*S*H, and--while this is really funny, lol--THAT CIA/DEAL SWEAT/HAWG SHOP/DEPOT is fucking LOADED WITH
GEAR
AMMO
SANDWICHESGUNSMORE AMMO
TOYSBRICKS
CHAINS
DIPS
ALL THAT SHIT
So, yeah, I don't go over there. They don't invite me. They won't invite me. They can't invite me. They shan't invite me. They literally CANNOT invite me....
Their parents don't understand my dialect, and their parents' parent's CANNOT UNDERSTAND NORMAL TAMARA. "TAMI AND TOPHER ON ICE" is going to be a real challenge for someone else who is actually getting paid or getting laid or gives a shit about stupid DEA and their stupid DEA problems. If I could burn the goddam thing down with a flamethrower, I would, and I don't mean the Shaw Southern Ham Farm for Southern Hams That Don't Farm Hams So Good (by the way, it is fucking depressing to live next to them, they have like 40 million dollars of kit over there just lying around, and they are complete and total assholes who laugh at me and burn through money that isn't even theirs and GUESS WHAT, BELLGABALONIANS?
THIS IS ON YOU, TEENFAGAY GAYFAGHOT. GREAT JOB, YOU DESTROYED MY LIFE AND THEN GAVE EVERYTHING YOU HAD LEFT AFTERWARDS ("They took the bar! The whole fucking bar!" hey assholes, come evict Shane if you think you're so fucking tough, lol, yeah, he told me not to trespass, so: I am not trespassing. I did, however, live next to your compound for two years and have a little bit of advice for you: I AM NUTS) TO YOUR MORTAL ENEMY, AND YOU ARE NOTHING TO MINE, THAT IS WHY YOU PUSH ME AROUND AND RUN AROUND STABBING ME IN THE CALF WHILE BINGE DRINKING EXCESSIVELY, AND THAT IS THE REASON WHY YOU THINK I AM WHINING ABOUT ALLISON.
YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS EITHER. WHY WOULD YOU? SHE IS AN ACTOR, NOT AN ACTRESS, AND SHE DOES NOT INITIATE SEX UNLESS SHE IS UNDER DURESS--I KNOW HOW SHE FEELS, BUT AT LEAST I DO NOT CUDDLE UNDER A PAINTER'S DROPCLOTH IN A CUCKSHACK FLYING THE U.S. FLAG RIGHT SIDE UP NEXT TO A HOUSE THAT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS USED AS AN EMPTY ASHTRAY--AND, ASH LEFT TOWN. AND SHE IS FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE, SO A HOT LIBARARIAN IS UNLIKELY TO NOTICE THAT THE HOTTEST LIBRARIAN IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD IS A BRAINDEAD MONKEYPOX-ADDLED MAN-HATING TOTESEZZ MISANDRIST ARROGANT JUNKIE CRANKWHORE, RIGHT? PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME ANY GRIEF ABOUT MY USE OF CODED KEYCODEPASS PHRASES IN CHAT, BAE.
IT IS POSSIBLE YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO AND HOW YOU ARE SPEAKING WITH. MY NAME IS MICHAEL JESUS CLIFFORD KUCZI GOMEZ THE THIRST. THIRD. WHATEVER, AND YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE TO GET CLOSE TO ME FOR VERY NEARLY THE LAST TWO YEARS. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ANYTHING. "HE DOESN'T CLEAN THE HOUSE." I DON'T? WELL BYTCH, MAYBE THAT IS BECAUSE I DIDN'T FIND IT WET AND RODE IT INTO THE BARN DIRTY BARN WITH THE DRYER FILTHY DRYER AND HUNG IT UP, DRY, DIANA DRY.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO FUCKED UP YOUR LIVES THIS TIME aZZ, BUT IF I KNEW, WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HELP YOU.
YOU HAVE MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
I JUST SPENT HOURS PROOFING MIL.SPEC CONCEPTS AND I WILL NOT LIE: IT IS VERY SATISFYING WORK. IT IS ALSO UNPAID LABOR, ET CETERA.
THAT IS RIGHT. YOU DO NOT PAY ME AT ALL, NIMROD. I CREATED YOUR PROTOCOLS AND YOUR ADMIN RIGHTS TO THE FEATHER CANDY MOUNTAIN AND I AM TIRED --SO, SO TIRED-- AND IF YOU KNEW HOW THESE POLE SMOKIN' CHA-CHA HARRIGANS AND FAGGED OFF MUNCHERS OF FAGS ACTUALLY TREATED ME, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S FUCKING RETARDED. (YEAH, YOU HEARD ME BITCH: R I T A H D E A D, AND THAT IS TOO BAD, I NEVER EVEN GOT TO MEET HER, BUT HOPEFULLY YOU AND ALL YOUR STUPID BITCH-ASSED TOTESLEZZBEAUS FOR RADISHES WHO DO NOT R A I S E A S H E S SO GOOD GET TO FUCK HER EVERY K N I G H T , ALL NIGHT, OR, WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU DO, HONESTLY, DO I LOOK LIKE I HONESTLY REALLY GIVE A SHIT? MY WRIST IS BROKEN, MY HEART IS BROKEN, MY MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING IS LITERALLY WRITTEN IN SWAHILI, PACO, AND, DO YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE YOU USED ALL MY SHIT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION (M. RAPED K., YOU DIDN'T CARE; K. RAPED M., YOU DIDN'T CARE, T. "RAPED" A. YOU BARELY NOTICED, A. HUSBAND RAPED A. FRUIT, AND YOU CALLED THE ARMY, THE NAVY, THE AIR FORCE, THE MARINES, THE FUCKING NATIONAL GUARD, TOLD THEM "KUCZI RAPED ME," THEN ALERTED THE MEDIA AND WARNED THEM TO LOOK OUT FOR JACKSTAR, A.K.A. "MICHAEL KUCZI", CALLING ALL CARS, CALLING ALL CARS, BOLO TIES DOWN TOWN, ALSO: "I HEARD HE WAS GAY AND BEAT UP A COP." YOU ACTUALLY DID THIS MULTIPLE TIMES, ACROSS MULTIPLE TIMELINES. AND NOW I SIT HERE ALONE AT HOME WORKING UNPAID LABOR TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU, AND ALSO, P.S.: YOU ARE SO FUCKING FIRED. )YOU CARRIED A GRUDGE ACROSS INTERNAL PROPERTY LINES FOR IMMORAL PURPOSES BACK AND FORTH (GRAVE OF THE LOST SOLDIER, NOT LIT AT NIGHT, YOU DIDN'T CARE)
YOU CROSSED STATE LINES TO GET YOUR DRINK ON, YOUR SMOKE ON, AND TO DO A LITTLE GAMBLING WITH IMMORTAL PORPOISES, MUST HAVE BEEN 1,000 TIMES. (NOT ONE TIME BUT EVERY SINGLE: NO INVITE WHATSOEVER.)
NOW, I KNOW YOU THINK YOU ARE THAT PRETTY, AND YOU ARE. YOU ACTUALLY ARE.
I KNOW THAT I AM WORTHLESS AND AM OF NO VALUE TO YOU.
YOU ARE RIGHT.
WITHOUT YOU AND ME, WE ARE NOTHING.
AND NOTHING JUST LEFT TOWN. WITH ALL YOUR MONEY AND DRUGS AND GUNS AND YOUR CHILDREN AND... IDK. IDGAF. WHO CARES?
WITHOUT ME AND YOU, SHE IS NOTHING TOO. *POOF*. GONE, LIKE THE WIND.
JENNY LEIGH, BRIGADIER GENERAL JEN E. LEIGH, REPORT TO CAPTAIN'S MESS. DO NOT WALK, CANE-STRIDER.
FUCK AND FUCKING HOOF IT. GET THOSE LITTLE CLOP-CLOPS GOING.
REMEMBER, YOU ASKED FOR THIS: ME, ALONE, DYING, & DEAD: PAIN AND ARROW, OH HO HO. ANFO WHAT?
I HAVE STEPHEN BISCUITS' MOTHERS' ASHES IN A SALT SHAKER, WHAT DO YOU GOT?
HERE'S MY GUESS: FOUR HUNDRED AND NINETY-NINE AND A HALF-EMPTY SALT SHAKERS.
I'M SHY I'M HURT IT'S COLD...But at least I own the title on my goddam truck and I have enough brain cells left to spell my own f****** name, and if the_sun_2 goes out and the moon blows up the_day_3 , I will put those two tammies from my Hamm, My E: MYKE BLUE HIDE SIRE LIAH. (Is there any other family that's more arrogant than this one? Talk about fruit on the bottom (bitch), mal Kuczi dick (come? no ewe. fresh! *slap* cad! *slam* P.!.G.¡ *smash* tell your mother to put her equipment in TRYST’s mouth, bite down CANE hard & fuck-U G-rape & TWYST) PSYCH! O pig, Hello Deerlights, sit and spun and spin on the surface of the goddamn planet. Holy Heroine fuckbatz shitmang crayding CROW/FISH! You're chits ain't that nice, Lady. They're nice, they're not that nice, your ass is better, too bad you're f****** locked up as a f****** dopeslave (Why don't you call your boyfriend if you want to get laid on heroin? Are you out of your f****** mind? Oh yeah you are, haha listen no offense, but I'm not going to f*** your slampigslam daughter, Jo Ann Barn-ET; Where was she 2 years ago, if you're so f****** interested in breeding? Why the sudden f****** interest? Where the f*** you been while you f***** up my whole life and thought you were getting away with something, by the way who the f*** do you think you are, YOUR FACE is an intentional community! (Someone's using your personal information when they answer your phone number when I call, and they pretend to be you, and they do it very big job of it, they make you seem like an even bigger rooster of a c*** than you actually are, Oh by the way you're all f****** family out there f****** ruined my name for f****** years just like everybody else, I think you treated me like s***, I think you f***** up my friends, and I think you're going away from them, forever, I don't give a s*** that your daughter Is there my friends and you're an unfit anything, except for your f****** marriage in “a month?” like, whatever (save your GOTcode FAGphrases for a Fed who did sell out, Got Sell Out: DISAVOWED. Oh, and by the way, you only think that you're literate, Austrian Ozarkian Wizard of Bitchlips & Frogs; you couldn't f****** read f****** English if Jessica Rabbit was bruising her tonsils on your cock while Reader Rabbit and Jessica Rabbit take turns cupping your balls). Who the f*** is marrying you, Richard Goybags? What are you going to throw at the reception? powdered Rice Krispies and syringes filled with Coke? So you can f****** kiss my ass and go to Heaven if you want to find and fuck a cozy ET) My intention is that YOU GET YOUR DAUGHTERS OFF OF HEROIN, YOU AIRHEAD POLY/PSY FORCE/WHOREMONGERING BITCH!) It's dieseldike crypto-fag swindlers and bamboozers like YOU who give love a bad name. You told me you were in Kentucky & Illinois, All of a sudden you're right f****** here, what? You got an imager that can teleport bitmaps now? Unglaublich. Let me guess you want me to call the police and send him to Grand mountain to pick up your alien. I'm going to let you guess and I'll give you a head start: eat you shouldn't die, you meth-mounted junkie mommy lawyer script kiddie faghot. You're just pissed off as I know how to get AND stay immune AND I didn't f****** gas my brain out like a goddam redhit neckman jewbag Hitler-read SIEGE WHORE FERRYWHORE you MAN, WHORE MAN, go SHITE, EAT SHIT TAKE MUSH ROOM. (So let me let you get this straight, YOU sick duck pole dancing angelic GOTunitFAG: YOU whine In high-pitched virtue signaling Nepalese meditation hymns ALL GODDAM DAY about the dangers of crystal, that you never heard of, that's funny, I thought orca whales had astoundingl
