Ask Azzerae Anything

[Master Trollda]

Swishy’s a douchenossle. I know he was tight with Richard for awhile but I think eventually he started turning on him too. His whole Schtick is to be hostile and blame people of shit.

[AZZERAE]

Must have been someone else. You do not attempt normal conversation with me at all. You gaslight and seek to deceive and pretend you're not a diagnosed and oddly medicated schizophrenic. No shame in it. No “normal” either. Denial is not going to kill you, Chair Rub, but its a chilling effect that you bring to the table. Hark! Did you see how you just implied through textbook psyop chicanery, that either of us ought to be prioritizing “normal”?

And just like that, you gaslight me. I did try. I tried and tried and tried. You're incapable of normal. Not that I'm encouraging normalcy-- By any stretch.

Just for the record: I don't "pretend" I don't suffer with a mental illness. It's just not Schizophrenia. It's Schizoaffective Disorder. And why on earth would you even belittle me for such a thing? It's not like it's something I can help. Fuck you, dude. Fuck you right in the kisser. If you think I'll stand for this kind of abuse (or taking it lying down) you've got another motherfucking thing coming.

When it comes to the issue of chicanery, you're fully aware of the fact that everything's made up and the points don't matter, so what's the problem? I think you just like to hear yourself talk - which is fine - but the amount of opportunities you're missing out on because of the blunt force trauma you're subjecting your brain to with whatever drugs you're doing is not helping.

And before you even go there, I'm well aware of your thoughts on psychiatry. It's just that the ones who need it most are the ones who never get help. And you sir, need help. You sneer down at me from your high horse, thinking you're above me because I take my meds like a good little boy and try BE BEST, when all you're doing is showing your ass in the public square.

Like, who does that, anyway? Have you no shame? Are you not aware enough of your shortcomings to quit while you're ahead? I think it's admirable that you pump out the 5 Minutes with Jackstar shows with such regularity, but the content itself leaves a lot to be desired. And I KNOW...It's designed that way. But take a leaf out of Falkie's book, and realise, that this is designed to make money.

Don't hit me or my wife up for 40K. You're not a baby in a swollen diaper: or are you? We tried everything we could, but you wouldn't get out of your own way for so much as a millisecond to accept help. Instead of demanding money and running around like a debt collector to previous friends and associates, maybe you should give some thought to monetising.

But you're "too cool" for that, right? GOD FORBID anyone makes a bit of coin off their labour. You don't believe in that, you patsy. You're an ingrate and an overgrown child slash trust fund kid. You always got everything handed to you, while the rest of us had to roll up our sleeves and do the hard slog ourselves.

You can look down on the town from your ivory tower all you want. No one is gonna stop you. But there's a time when Rapunzel needs to let down her hair. And that time is approaching. Quick.

[AZZERAE]

Swishy’s a douchenossle. I know he was tight with Richard for awhile but I think eventually he started turning on him too. His whole Schtick is to be hostile and blame people of shit.

He makes me laugh sometimes. But he also takes some pot shots at people I like. He's an equal opportunity offender.

[AZZERAE]

d00D. I live in a haunted church for three (3) years and am regularly attacked by murderous hooligans. There has been no running water for a year and a half. YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO DELIBERATELY COLLUDE WITH OTHERS ON THE INTERNET TO WITHHOLD CRITICALLY IMPORTANT INFORMATION FROM ME ON A BASIS SO ROUTINE, I GUESS YOU HAVE BECOME DESENSITIZED TO HOW THAT IS A FEDERAL CRIME.

Like, why would I care about your little fantasies? What business is it of mine that you live in a "haunted church"? As for the murderous hooligans, you approach me on some I can do something about it shit. Who are these people? Explicitly state what relevance it has on me and my existence.

You stiffed Dari when she did all she could to restore your well to a functional state.

I collude with who I choose to collude with for very specific reasons, but none of them have anything remotely to do with you or your life. It simply isn't my business.

You have no jurisdiction in South Africa. So suck it up, buttercup.

[AZZERAE]

Your cognitively null and inexplicably vague excuse you've posted here in maximally desultory prose is even less relevant than any other whinge that comes after the word “but” would be. I do not play a character, Neighbor Of Kaffirs. I simply have character, and my personality is faceted. Yours is both split and staffed by INTERPOL using hard-duplex wired surveillance and interrogation software. EVERYONE KNOWS THIS. Whatever reason you have for playing coy, trust me on this: I am goddam over it.

Well. I'm sorry to hear that. My involvement with INTERPOL, huh...

Do I even need to explain this?

[AZZERAE]

I never said I was broke.

It's not about what you said: it's about what you are.

[AZZERAE]

I said it was time for all who ought to begin recompensing me. I do not know who. I do not know why. I do not know know how. I am nowhere near bankruptcy, Coupon Cutter. I saw all of this coming when I was FOURTEEN, and planned accordingly. What? I am a strategic mastermind raised by military conscript veterans. You draw cartoons. We are exactly the same; I am simply good at being that.

What, has drawing cartoons like, got me on some kinda watch list, now?

Coupon cutter, that's cute. Did you come up with that one all by yourself? If so, it'll be the first time you ever mustered the courage to do something for yourself, instead of sitting around in filth like the fucking welfare queen you are.

So. Lady of leisure: tell me what you're going to do to me. Threaten me with everything you've got. At least I don't live in fear and expect something for nothing coz I'm so used to living off handouts.

Your little internet show is surely gonna make it big some day. Just keep waiting to hit that jackpot, son. But don't you ever try blame me for the shit you've brought on yourself. It's not my problem.

You know I'm a great sparring partner, and that's why you're still here. Keep showing up, they say. 99% or success is showing up.

[AZZERAE]

You imagine that I make clandestine shadow money hand over fist, tax-free and invisible to any audit. You imagine that because that's what you would do with this setup. Indeed, this location is ideal for that kind of thing.

Then get off your duff and make something happen. Shit or get off the pot, nigga. You have no idea what I would or wouldn't do in "your position". So stop trying to tell me who I am, where to go and what to do. You know very little about anything, and you're coming off like a bozo filled with hot air. The pomp and ceremony isn't fooling me. Get back to the Great Work and quit shirking, fatty.

[Jackstar]

Then get off your duff and make something happen.

I have made things happen. They simply have not been things happening that you have found to be of value. Why would they be? You have literally a) stolen from me, & b) withheld or fabricated information I have sought. Further, c) you have not bothered to even so much as sought to even so much as merely inquire as to what my preferences might be, were I to experience any kind of ideal or even merely the least but just of one. You have probably not even bothered to make so much as an assumption... since Your Team’s desired outcome is that I simply... vanish. That would certainly be easiest for everyone all around... except I would literally be dead. What fun for me?

Shit or get off the pot, nigga.

I've literally watched over three (3) years go by without even the most basic of information provided from you. Suddenly you appear to be Ringleader somehow. And instead of calling the obvious shots, you are slipping directly into the role of castigator.

Oh, how supportive you have become. *tee-hee!* Meanwhile I've got plenty of questions that remain unanswered. Rather than answering anything newsy, you move directly into insults and a reversal of responsibility onto me.

“Make something happen.” I have, and I will. For example, just now, I have exposed you as a remarkably well-camouflaged megalomaniacal, lying, bĪb¡tCh-bābē captor/abductor.

You have no idea what I would or wouldn't do in "your position".

I am aware of that. I am also aware that you don't know the “position” to which I refer. It's an important one, for I am preparing to deliver my initial Final Report On Blessed Solutions to the Sherrif. Brad Thurman. I don't really expect much. However, Thur is Thor and that means THUNDEr₹ DOME. There might be some crucial wisdom available.

I had no reason to check until today. The Sheriff and I cannot talk about Matters of Money Momentum over the phone, ho ho ho. Hang on. I need to muse.

So stop trying to tell me who I am,

I am not trying. You are a lying, rape-enabling Punyling thuggin’ pimplord’s b¡tCh. You are pate’s co-conspirator. You are also enabling the designs of Dennis M., Luis G., Anita G., Jaclyn... oh, that let's go with “W.” for “Whore,” and let's stop there, or rather I'll stop there, because this is not an “us” thing. Once again: I am not trying to tell you that you're fucking caught, I am success incarnate at that.

I am of course not going to arrest you. I don't even have people for that. Do you need to be arrested? I have absolutely no idea.

where to go

I am not trying to tell you where to go. I told you where to go: to the goddam REFRIGERATOR STORE after driving your mendastic ass to THIS HOUSE, where you were to pick my ass up, and drive to a classy nail spa to get a pedicure.

It's a simple series of steps. You have had multiple years, you dopeslave twerpy ßeta catamite milksop >kcockçuck Company “Man-b∞μ” speedbump junky dorkface.

and what to do.

Once again: not trying. You're in denial, you literal fucking morons. The BOTH of you. PAY ATTENTION. For while I don't really have a strong preference in keeping you out of prison for several years, I think it is wise that you not be allowed to let whichever idiot dopelord imprinted themselves as your “Alpha,” for in no other way can I imagine that you are this out of touch with reality.

YOU KNOW IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT THE PAST EVENTS. YOU NEVER TOLD ME ANYTHING. You have not explained... why? The EMERGENCY is over. I have paper from The Court, says RIGHT FUCKING ON IT, “A.F. Shaw may now be contacted.” No such contact has occured.

AT ALL. WITH ME, NOT AT ALL. You have not addressed this, you have not spoken of this, you have failed to EVEN BE LOCATABLE TO BE INQUIRED OF. YOU'VE BEEN HIDING UNDER FAKE NAMES ON TELEGRAM AND DISCORD AND THE LIKE... ABSOLUTELY AVOIDING CONVERSATION WITH ME.

Like, duh. DUH. There must be a reason. There are obviously Facts, Nice Little ones... AND EVERY FUCKING KNEE OF YOU KNOWS THEM, AND CONTINUES TO DELIBERATELY KEEP ME IN THE DARK.

>K.M.M. GOES TO A PSYCH WARD. THREE (3) MORE TIMES. WHY? UNDER WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES? WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF YOU? HOW IN THE NAME OF THE LIVING CHRIST DOES NONE OF YOU RECALL: a knife is pulled, her name is shreiked, AND THEN TEN MONTHS LATER, A PROTOTYPE BIOCLONE THAT LOOKS RATHER A LOT LIKE HER, SHOWS TO AT MY HOUSE AFTER EVERY GODDAM PERSON ON THE PLANET IGNORES ME FOR OVER NINE MONTHS.

Funny thing about TIMECLONE technology. It still takes nine months to make a baby. (Complicated standards.) I don't need to get into this exceptionally classified technology, THAT ALL YOU F****** MORONS KNOW ALL ABOUT AND YOU HAVE FOR F****** NEARLY TWO DECADES WHILE LAUGHING AT ME THE WHOLE F****** TIME AND NOT EVER F****** TELL ME THE GODDAMN TRUTH ABOUT ANY OF IT.

SHE COMES OVER AND TRICKS ME INTO RAPING HER TO DEATH WHICH IS EASILY DONE WITH THE KIND OF TECHNOLOGY THAT IS AVAILABLE WITH PHEROMONES, NOBODY'S REAL CLEAR ON EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED WITH ME, BUT ALL OF YOU TALK ABOUT IT FOR F****** MONTHS AFTERWARDS SPREADING RUMOR AND LIES AND SLANDER ABOUT AN EVENT THAT I BARELY UNDERSTOOD THEN AND DON'T UNDERSTAND NOW AND ALL OF YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT IT THAN I DO STILL TO THIS DAY F****** 2 AND 1/2 YEARS LATER.

SO WHEN YOU SAY DON'T TRY TO TELL YOU WHERE TO GO, I'M NOT TRYING TO TELL YOU THIS MOTHER F***** I AM TELLING YOU GO TO F****** HELL AND F*** YOURSELF TO DEATH AND COME BACK WITH ANOTHER GODDAMN BABY YOU LYING INTO IT F****** CARTOON DIBBLING F*******


YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT I KNOW HOW SERIOUS THIS IS. YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT FOR 3 YEARS YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT F****** TELL ME NOTHING BUT THE BARE MINIMUM THAT WILL LEAD ME TO GO TO F****** PRISON FOR DEATH, AND YOU ACT LIKE I'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.

TELL ME WHAT THE F*** I'VE DONE WRONG ASS RAIN. TELL ME WHAT THE F*** YOU THINK I'VE DONE F****** WRONG YOU STUPID PIECE OF S*** B****.

I F****** DEFY YOU TO F****** TELL ME WHAT THE F*** I'VE DONE WRONG CUZ YOU'RE SUCH A F****** COWARD YOU CAN'T EVEN F****** HAVE A GODDAMN STREAM CONVERSATION.

I'M PRETTY SURE THAT MEANS YOU'RE F****** GUILTY AS F*** YOU STUPID IDIOT MORON DID I ALREADY SAY F****** CARTOON DIDDLER? I DON'T WANT TO OVERUSE THAT ONE.

DON'T PLAY TOUGH WITH ME YOU LITTLE S***. I THINK I KNOW WHAT THE F*** I'M TALKING ABOUT, AND I THINK YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BUNNY YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS WHEN YOU DUMB F***. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY F****** PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT THIS? I DON'T F****** THINK SO.

SO FOR SOMEBODY WHO DOESN'T REALLY WANT A WHOLE LOT OF F****** PUBLICITY AND S***, YOU'RE ACTING PRETTY F****** STUPID EVEN FOR A F****** AFRICAN STREET DRUG PEDDLING SCHIZO RACIST LITTLE BULLY B**** THUG.

DO I HAVE YOUR F****** ATTENTION NOW? GOOD. BECAUSE WE'RE ADDING A LITTLE SURPRISE TO THIS MONTH'S SALES CONTEST. FIRST PRIZE IS NOT A CADILLAC.

You know very little about anything,

Alistair, Joe, Dana, Tammy, Michael, you ignorant s****. That's exactly my f****** point, I know very little about anything and it's been three f****** years that you've been railroading me into the goddamn prison you f****** moron, that makes it pretty obvious that it's a f****** criminal conspiracy that your f****** guilty of prima facie. How it is that you think I'm vulnerable. Here is a complete mystery to me, I assume it's because you really haven't thought this through.

You f****** trafficked a woman into a train in the state where she committed bank fraud to get the money that bought the house that my mother used to own. That was then used as collateral to flip a bunch of houses that ended up getting $177 million gas station built across the goddamn freeway from this house here. Are you under the impression that this evidence has been erased? Yeah I'm sure it has.

It's also still over there, one of the 14 places within a 20 mile raised where I'm not allowed to go, you know that seems like a large number of places for a man to be trespassed from, especially since I'm a relatively pleasant person, I wonder what it could be so significant about those places that I would not be allowed to go there, do you think it could be the f****** employees that are f****** work there, because I'm pretty sure it's the f****** employees that are f****** working there that don't want me to know where the f*** the people are, who I f****** recognize on goddamn sight.

This is not a no contact emergency that you have to revert to US Marine code of military Justice to f****** keep the world safe for democracy and spurkfests when I'm a perfectly reasonable person that doesn't actually have a problem with all this stuff, I guess you have a problem with me finding out because then you think that I'll be able to do some sort of damage to your criminal conspiracy, but believe me I don't need to go there to f****** find out anything that's going to damage what you're doing because I'm not going to be held responsible for all this f****** males and s*** that you've got going on. Even if you manage to put me in f****** prison which you won't. You're still going to have to f****** deal with all the f****** people who know all the f*** another s*** that you f****** done.

So I guess you're just being a pissy little b**** and acting like you don't need to tell me what the f*** happened three f****** years ago in the same f****** house that I've been now because you think you're going to f****** brass this out, well I got news for you short round. You're not going to f****** do anything other f****** kind. And if you keep up this f****** a****** attitude, you're going to go to f****** prison for a long goddamn time. I don't have to keep a f****** oath to keep you people out of trouble, I'm just being nice to your stupid f****** Masonic little b**** baby pancake party? I don't have to f****** do anything for you at all, I can throw you all over the goddamn bus with one phone call? Is that what you'd like to f****** encourage me to do, or are you just being so f****** stupid cuz you're so goddamn High that you haven't f****** thought this through? It's hard to say since I haven't talked to you and f****** four f****** years ever since you started f****** the woman, why is she your little f****** meth-headed b**** slave too as well? I don't know how you've got it all f****** set up. You haven't told me Jack or s*** or squatter dick, you only told me that you don't want me to know anything which seems a little f****** odd since I'm not doing Jack or s*** until I talk to Allison Francis Shaw, and I don't give a f*** if you don't think I'm going to f****** talk to her you f****** moron.


Trust me. I'm going to f****** talk to her. Family to facilitate that talking. Seems to be pretty goddamn clear evidence of you being a goddamn guilty ass f****** conspirator
Maybe you don't understand how prosecutors work. You're f****** hiding something, you're being a dick about it, and you act like you have some sort of leverage on me, or that I've done something wrong, what exactly what the f*** it is? Do you think you haven't done f****** wrong? Are you going to threaten me with f****** prosecution for drug charges, are you going to tell me that I worked at different women, are you going to f****** say that I f****** forgot the shave when robbing a casino, what the f*** is the f****** fat that you f****** you think you got over me when I have not got anything that I'm a f****** friend of hearing about from you, you sure are f****** being a little f****** shoving little b***** f****** c**** little a****** telling me what not to do when you're f****** get your goddamn f****** sin you stupid little b****, since f***** you questions and I've got nothing back from you bro. Bunch of f****** lies and f****** slander, and you f****** stupid for me. You know it's racing that I need to know and then instead of getting it to me you act like you'd like to give me anything, you're a stupid little b**** with you in it f*** you.

and you're coming off like a bozo filled with hot air.

It is of absolutely no importance how I come off. I'm not going to be on trial for f****** capital murder. I'm not going to be on trial for running a train on a f****** credential funnel agent. You stupid f****** idiot. I don't think that I have much to worry about when it comes to three contact violations of Casey gundlin Kennedy when she's married to the f****** woman who gave me the cat and the f****** police number and I don't have anything to do with Casey Gwendolyn Kenny. What the f*** is she doing here at all? Why the f*** did she suddenly become the woman when it wasn't her before in the first place and then why would that woman be of an interest to me when she tried to steal my f****** house by claiming that she needed a new baby daddy when she was f****** 19 cranny to be 16. She was pregnant with somebody else's child and she desperately wanted to get weed. How many of these f****** details do I f****** need to spill you in a f****** Coral law before you realize that it doesn't f****** matter because that's how much more important case that you f****** kind of f****** totally forgot about dumbass where the f*** is Allison Francis Shaw who's f****** her who's pretending to be married to her. What the f*** does he look like and what the f*** is? The goddamn name on his f****** driver's license you stupid idiot pure b**** why do you think my f****** driver's license is f****** not just suspended and revoked and nodding in the system anymore, Junior I think that's because there's some f*** using my f****** name and f****** house not that time ago you f***** moron.

Here's a hint, it doesn't matter how I come off right now, because the f****** post that you just made is f****** evidence that isn't made you guilty of conspiracy to f****** civil rights conspiracy to f****** rape because you're addicted to goddamn math. You're in a f****** death relapse cycle. I told everybody f****** years ago and ever since then you've done nothing but f****** not talk to me and not tell me the goddamn truth about and what the f*** you have to do with any of this. Anyway you stupid f****** associated or taku twit? Hey how come you stopped your podcast? Hey how come you do it somewhere else where I don't get to see it, and how come you're your f****** the woman I went to f****** high school with in disguis is somebody else who's not somebody I went to high school with by the way, what do you think of Kelly's ass? Have you seen Donna lately? Does it matter? Hey, how's Todd?? You stupid f****** moron you knew all these people you've been f****** running around with them for f****** 3 years and acting like I'm just some sort of terribly f****** dangerous person you can't f****** talk to and that you've got to act like. Oh I'm doing such terrible, terrible dangerous things and I'm a dangerous f****** person, you know God damn well. I'm not dangerous. What the f*** would I be doing? The same f****** thing that all of you have been doing every f****** day for f****** months? I assure you people know.

Meanwhile I sit here by myself reading and studying, I'm not exactly losing control, I'm just showing you the nightmare rectangle visits f****** fun, I don't have anything to worry about legitimate Authority and investigators are pretty sure that I'm not going to fly out the handle, cuz if I was going to I would have by now and this isn't me flying off the handle, this is me performing a voice acting show where explain to you just how f****** stupid you are you dumb f****** c*** because in addition to reading the f****** words as I f****** publish them to your f****** website, you can read it before I push publish. You're also listening to me cuz you have f****** visual fee of the f****** house, you have absolutely every little bit of unlawful surveillance that is needed to bust you for the next five f****** years.

And you immediately roll it to f****** telling me not to try to tell you who you are, what to do or where to go, f*** your mother, you dumb son of a b**** I'm actually trying to help you while you are getting sent up the river for crimes. You haven't even f****** figured out that you've been f****** fine for you d******.

Do you get the f****** picture? Because second price is not a set of steak knives. Second prize is every single one of you goes to a goddamn prison facility, and then I don't notice any f****** difference because you'll still be on the goddamn internet working for me for f****** peanuts building a new f****** Network and I'll get every single f****** dollar of your money while you live in goddamn steal cages for the next 30 f****** years. That's pretty much you're thinking. Make happen to all of you.

I don't really want that to happen, but then again I don't want any of this, because I'm not doing anything until I talk to Allison Francis Shaw, now you don't have to tell me where she is, obviously and I don't really expect you to tell me anything true anyway, and I'm pretty sure I f****** know where I should f****** she is? However the fact that you're not telling me and it's a big f****** deal to you should probably tell you just how f****** far down s*** creak you are without any paddles.

The pomp and ceremony isn't fooling me.

I'm a little confused here about how it is that you think anybody needs to fool you. You've already been fooled by the people that are your co-conspirators who have set you up because you're dumb and high and obviously chosen to be sacrificed rather than me, they don't really want to sacrifice me since I'm useful and you are the guiltiest f***** around here and are so f****** arrogant and head up the ass that you don't have any idea how f*** you already are and I guess you knew that because you're more than happy to just treat me like s*** when I haven't done anything wrong to you at all, like tell me again what is it that I'm supposed to be so guilty of? How is it that you're going to intimidate me into behaving in any way? What is it that you got on me that you think you have leverage for? I'm genuinely curious.

Because it's don't either I'm going to talk to Allison Francis Shaw, or I'm going to die. It's not as though I'm just going to skip out on talking to the woman, since I was putting my dick into her for five f****** years, along with like 32 other f****** stupid ass f****** women, I don't know where they are and maybe I'll talk to them and maybe it won't, but I'm pretty goddamn sure I'm going to talk to the one that I'm in love with you f****** moron, even if I don't ever see your Rebecca afterwards I'm going to f****** talk to her. I'm going to get f****** eye contact that was the f****** plan and so far I see no indications whatsoever that she has any interest in breaking up with me forever, since she doesn't have to break up with me. We're friends, and if she's sucking Pete's dick right now at gunpoint on meth, that's not something that's going to prevent me from being your friend, and it's also not something that's going to prevent me from seeing Kate go to prison no matter what. I don't really care when that happens. he's obviously going somewhere, I don't think you're aware that the only reason why she hasn't killed him is cuz I told her not to, like why would she put up with that and then is she putting him with that I don't know. I don't want to ask you f****** fill me on what's happened the last 3 years you f****** moron? Since you f****** could have, and I guess it's so f****** super secret that you can't f****** tell me and it hasn't occurred you to realize that yeah a mama f****** person would have f****** told me what the f*** Allison finds the Shaw's doing now instead of acting like it's a big f****** secret, but since you know that I'm unlikely to be happy about you telling me what the actual truth the matter is, which is I don't know what but you're not f****** telling me dick Lord..

ONCE AGAIN: YOU'VE JUST ADMITTED TO BEING GUILTY OF CONSPIRING TO DENY CIVIL RIGHTS TO BOTH HER AND I, AND I'M PRETTY SURE THERE'S PLENTY OF EVIDENCE THAT SAYS THAT YOU AND BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE RAN A F****** TRAINER IN OKLAHOMA ONCE SHE COMMITTED BANK FRAUD WITH A CERTAIN PERSON WHO I WON'T NAME.

That might be interpreted as witness tampering, and I have no wish to give any appearance of a failure to RESPECT DUE PROCESS OF LAW. I guess you haven't figured out, that it actually matters that I'm a primary victim, and that there is no case that involves me being the target of investigation that's going to f****** shuffle me off to Buffalo, and I'm certainly not worried about some idiot f****** s******* with the sniper rifle or running over the truck. Dude, I'm not worried about anything at all other than how the f*** you're going to f****** live this down you dumbass. I guess you haven't figured out, that it actually matters that I'm a primary victim, and that there is no case that involves me being the target of investigation that's going to f****** shuffle me off to Buffalo, and I'm certainly not worried about some idiot f****** s******* with the sniper rifle or running them over the truck. Dude, I'm not worried about anything at all other than how the f*** you're going to f****** live this down you dumbass.

Get back to the Great Work and quit shirking, fatty.

What the f*** are you talking about? Today? I have a meeting with a lawyer, then I have to make an appointment to get a psych eval, also at any time I can call a medical doctor and ask for an appointment to discuss certain key critical issues, or I could have a tele doctor visit where I could explain all kinds of stuff right over the air and then all kinds of people all over the world. Will f****** learn all kinds of classified military secrets? Real f****** quick, I'm probably not going to do that, but it's not really off my f****** menu...

So tell me what it is that you think. I'm shirking you f****** idiot. Please, do. Please tell me what it is that you think I need to do, since I've been waiting patiently here for 3 days for any of you to f****** make any sense, and it is taken until now for it to make perfect sense. What exactly has happened, for one thing you don't really seem like azrae, you seem like Deacon, for another. I don't give a s*** which one you are, the point is is that all of you are working together as a conspiracy to deny civil rights, that makes you all scoopable. And all of you are guilty as f***: TOTESTITAN ★ TΠTZ>KCONFIRMED. (Standards.) Alli I'm really glad I can help. Yeah you can totally break up with me and we can still f*** if you want, I don't know what you got going on, now skies to live it all. Girls do mean something but they have to wait for you, because you and I have a commitment, and a plan, + I don't give a s*** who the f*** thought he was in control of the situation. F****** God is in command, and I don't want to break with you at all. I miss you. I love you. Yeah you can keep on having sex with her, that's fine. I thought you were. That's not even a problem, oh yeah I can. I can heal her and resurrect her and make her not insane too, I think you like her insane so I didn't touch her. Yeah this is all real. I love you. Yeah I'm this badass, I look I look fat though right, sorry about that. Oh my God and I smell worse than your mother's cooking.

SOW: t‘HEIR. YEAH, OH MY, YOU'RE GOING TO WISH THAT YOU GOT SUED COMPARED TO WHAT I'M GOING TO DO TO YOU. FIRST I'M GOING TO TEACH ALL YOUR CHILDREN TO READ, AND THEN I'M GOING TO TELL HIM HOW TO SPELL YOUR NAME, AND AT THAT POINT YOU'RE GOING TO BE A LOT MORE RESPECTFUL. KISSES, SUGAR. Hey, here's an idea, if Kate's such a f****** whiny crybaby, why don't you just f****** marry him? At 50 bucks a tug it's serious money. Think it over. Yeah I need a car send anybody, thanks Chris I love you okay bye yeah I saved you all. Even Brendan. He's all terrified that I'm going to f****** I don't know. Make him f****** straighten his f****** collar. I guess, you know for a once feared and mighty tribe of magical Legends, you're all pretty sissy when you talk to me now, I like that. Keep up. Keep that energy up the girls. Love Sissy's, that well they will when I'm done with them. Okay bye. NO I'M NOT GOING TO TURN TY GAY, I'M GOING TO TURN HIS DOG GAY. AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO FIGURE IT OUT *CLICK*
 

What is it that you think I'm shirking? Do you think I'm supposed to start exercising and building washboard abs? Do you think I'm trying to get my d**********? Do you have any idea what it is that's important to me? Because you don't seem to be acting like you know, I will tell you exactly the only f****** thing that is important to me:


EYE CONTACT AND CONVERSATION
WITH ALLISON FRANCIS SHAW.

Who would stop this? Criminal conspirators, that's who, and that's only who. Like this is not hard to figure out, it's been 3 years. I want to see her. What the f*** who's in the way, show me the f****** DEA c*** f** spurglord b**** Lord lead f****** husband and I'll break his f****** arm, since he's not a f****** federal agent anymore. I can beat the s*** out of him with a f****** bag of oranges or my f****** brass knuckle fists, f****** bet me. (Pretty sure you don't get to f****** be a goddamn Federal agent after you f****** openly or demonstrated to be raping a woman for 3 years with part of a criminal conspiracy to hide a goddamn court case from going through, if I'm wrong, I guess I'm laying in wait too, For her b**** ass husbands to suck my m************ dick! (I'm just kidding guys. I love masonry, I know you're not all guilty, but you're all a pussies. You should taking care of this yourself, I think your marriages are done. Just a hunch. We'll have to decide after we talk over how many times she remembers any of you rubbing her feet. By the way, PS, this isn't as bad as it could be so I would just take the L and be glad that you have such a lovely friend such as I as a level 360 free thinker that just handed you, your asses in public. Not bad for level zero, huh? How about how about how about two frescas? I don't know how many f****** secret husbands does she got? Do you all want a fresco or you just going to share one, wait time, that's impolite to the Fresca, hang on. I'll have to contact your grandmaster Lodge dude, oops, I forgot to do that at all in the first place, s*** that's going to be one hell of a letter. I think I'll send this to him now! Not f****** kidding, you might want to send him a heads up on the way.  THIS STORY IS ALREADY F****** VIRAL AND I HAVEN'T EVEN PUSHED EXECUTE POST SUBMIT SEND.

🅿️ SHE AND I ARE ALREADY MORE FAMOUS THAN YOU COULD F****** POSSIBLY F****** IMAGINE. I'M REALLY THAT PRETTY, AND SHE REALLY SUCKS A MEAN DICK. FACTS. I THINK SHE CAN SKI TOO, I DON'T F****** KNOW, IT'S BEEN AWHILE. IS SHE STILL CHARCOAL BLACK LIKE SHE'S FROM THE CONGO, OR DID YOU LET HER GET INTO THE BLEACH AND RENDERED INFANT FAT AGAIN? NEVER MIND, I'LL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH. BECAUSE NO S***, YOU'RE ALL CONVICTED, I DID THAT, ME, I ASSURE YOU IT'S F****** HAPPENING, AND THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING, WELCOME TO YOUR NEW GODDAMN HOBBY, PREPARING TO RECEIVE NEW CHARGES, + JESUS THERE'S A LOT OF THEM AND OF YOU, NOT A ONE OF YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN LIKE THIS DID YOU?

I EVEN SURPRISED GOD. I AM THAT GODDAMN AWESOME. ALSO: HETEROSEXUAL, DISCIPLINED HETEROSEXUAL, THAT MEANS YOU CAN LET YOUR KIDS COME OVER HERE AND I WON'T BLOW METH SMOKE IN THEIR FACE, WHAT DO YOU SAY? I DON'T GIVE A S*** IF YOU TRUST ME OR NOT, I'M PRETTY SURE THE F****** KIDS DO SINCE I SAVED THE WHOLE GODDAMN FAMILY AND I JUST F****** BE ON PRISON WITH THE POWER OF MY VOICE BY SCREAMING ALL CAPS ON A GODDAMN SOUTH AFRICAN BASKET WITH YOUR SITE, I'M OBVIOUSLY A F****** MAGICAL PENISADMIRAL MESSIAH! FUCK YOUR DEFAMATORY BULLSHIT, AZAZEL (not going to lie, this was fun and you really do the best. Defamatory b*******, and you're the scariest Angel out there and I just handed you your ass, yeah I love you come back some other f****** time and take that creepy f****** one with you. I don't know what's his f****** name but the the lothar or gothag or whatever the f*** his name is the one who rhymes around with chuckles f****** just all you just f****** go out for a while. I swear I promise I'll talk to you later but go f****** kick the bricks f****** b**** and f****** FLY THE FU>K AWAY, UNTIL I'VE HAD AT LEAST SEVEN BATHES. TRUST ME ON THIS, I DON'T GIVE A S*** THAT YOU'RE A BADASS ANGEL LIKE DEMON W**** KILLER THING, YOU DON'T WANT TO SMELL ME. #Respect. Home, AZAZEL you are going out LIKE A CANDLE IN THE WIND YOU ARE F****** PERMANENTLY F****** DONE RAPING WOMEN &AND CHILDREN (AND ALSO ALL ELBABBOZOWS!!!) ON MY PLANET. POINT BLANK PERIOD. UNLESS ROSIE O'DONNELL STARTS GIVING ME GRIEF AGAIN, HERE LET ME SEE YOUR PASSPORT I'LL JUST GIVE YOU A STAMP RIGHT NOW (*stamps, gavels*) OKAY SERIOUSLY GIVE YOU A FEW WEEKS OR SO BECAUSE LET ME GIVE IT A SHOT AND THEN AFTER I FINISHED, PLEASE LET ME FINISH LET ME FINISH AFTER I FINISH I'LL BOOT HER OFF TO ALTAR 7 AND YOU CAN SWING OFF TO GO GET HER THERE AND THEN YOU CAN HAVE A RAPE BUFFET ALL YOU WANT AZAZEL. TAKE YOUR ANGELIC CORDS WITH YOU AND DON'T COME BACK AT ALL WITH THE DICK. YOU'RE BANNED FROM WELDING PENIS FOR A THOUSAND YEARS. (*stamps gavels*) #OFFICIAL  GO BYE.

* Jackstar knows a few things about how to Proper ÍēÍGηLμ ßåⁿï§îī•ī·, legendary lieutenants of Ultimate evil, live in a haunted church for 3 years and masturbate a lot and never ever launder or bathe or shower or care or eat any of it. AZAZEL knows I mean business up front... And does not want to party with my 18 months tall pile of shit I have at my back. THIS THREAT IS NEUTRALIZED.

Code: [Select]

NGL: That's only going to keep AZAZEL busy for about 5 days, Max. Also, I didn't mean Rosie had done at all, I actually kind of like her, I meant Anita Leigh-Anne Hutchison, take that bratling and go now, 🥶 ckoldcovk MO³⅗:5, they'll know what to do. S.C.R.A.M. WITH US. buh-bye.
, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE WOULD STOP HER FROM GIVING ME A CALL OTHER THAN, I DON'T KNOW, IS SHE ACTUALLY STRAPPED TO A F****** NUCLEAR WEAPON? F****** WRENCH IT ONTO AIRWOLF AND SET THAT S*** OFF AT MAX HIGH APEX ATMO, SHE'LL BE BACK IN A WEEK.

THERE IS NO OUTCOME UNDER WHICH I DON'T GET TO SPEAK WITH THIS WOMAN, AND IF SHE WANTS TO BREAK UP WITH ME THAT'LL BE PRETTY F****** EASY, AND THEN WE CAN ALL MOVE ON WITH THEIR LIVES, WHICH IS WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF IT WAS REAL, BUT SINCE YOU HAVEN'T IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT REAL AND SINCE YOU'RE F****** CONSPIRACY RINGLEADER AS BEING AN A****** TO BEING PUBLIC ON HIS OWN GODDAMN WEBSITE, WHILE HE'S HIGH AS F*** ON I DON'T KNOW WHAT, I THINK I CAN F****** SMOKE WHATEVER THE F*** I WANT, ARE WE CLEAR? I'LL CALL MY DOCTOR LATER AFTER SHE SUCKS MY DICK ENOUGH TO TURNS PURPLE AND EXPLODES. JUST KIDDING IT'S ALREADY PURPLE WITH A GODDAMN GOLDEN CROWN OF OAK LEAVES WRAPPED AROUND ON IT. (IT WAS ON SALE AT TEMU THAT PLACE IS AMAZING;)

ASAF. IT'S ONLY BEEN OVER 3 YEARS, SHE'S ONLY BEING HELD HOSTAGE, IT'S ONLY LIKE IT WOULDN'T BE THAT HARD FOR HER TO F****** CALL ME AND SAY THAT WE'RE BREAKING UP IF SHE WANTED TO BREAK UP SO I GUESS SINCE IT'S BEEN THIS LONG AND NO ONE'S CALLING ME SAYING THAT SHE'S ALEX FOR MR SHAW AND WHEN I TALKED TO HER IN MY HEAD WITH TELEPATHY SHE'S LAUGHING HER ASS OFF AND HOW I'M F****** TELLING YOU WHAT A DUMB STUPID F****** IDIOT AFRICAN F****** MORON COMPANY MAN B**** WHORE YOU ARE...

Because, dude, seriously, none of this shouting in pomp and circumstances for anybody except her, SHE, OGjRAPEFRUIT AF SHAW ILU AYE-AYE SKIPPER CLIPPER KILLER B****, she loves it, she's pretty happy that I'm reading you THE ACTUAL RIOT ACT (Holy s*** did my workday end quickly, I'm not going to go to Disneyland. I'm going to the dentist, f*** yeah I want to get some nitrious and I want to get my teeth polished while somebody sucks my dick, is that going to be hard to figure out? Seems like a pretty f****** simple service to me) and convicting you all of your guilt right out in front of God and EVERYBODY INCONTROVERTIBLY so, because I assure you, everything I just said is f****** true. You just turned in your entire f****** gang. >KUDOS. LITERALLY. ALL CAPS FOR ALL GANG MEMBERS ALL AT ONCE. DEAR FBI: YOU'RE WELCOME NOW IF YOU DO NOT MIND, RESCUE >KASEY GWENDOLYN KENNEDY BECAUSE SHE'S OBVIOUSLY BEING HELD HOSTAGE, NO DON'T LET HER F******. F****** ME IS FOR CLOSERS.

Literal. Point blank f****** period. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO DEFENSE FOR ANY OF YOU PEOPLE AFTER THIS POINT. PEOPLE KNOW WHAT YOU DID, I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT YOU DID BUT I DON'T REALLY CARE, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK THE WOMAN WHEN I TALK TO HER WHICH WILL BE WHEN WE F****** FEEL LIKE IT, AND YOUR FAILURE TO FACILITATE ANYTHING AT ALL OTHER THAN TO F****** YELL AT ME AND TO ACT LIKE I GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE, IS A LITTLE F****** STRANGE. LIKE WHO THE F*** PUT YOU IN CHARGE?

IS IT THAT STUPID DEVOLVED KARMIC TWIN THAT YOU CALL A MOTHER? OR IS IT HER GRANDMOTHER WHOSE ACTUAL MOTHER OR IS IT SOMEBODY ELSE OR IS IT..  Well actually I don't really know or care, cuz I'm not an investigator. I don't have to know any of this s***, what I have to know is where the f*** is Allison Francis Shaw and why the f*** can't she drive down here to pick my ass up and give me a f****** place to a pedicure? It's not that far of a f****** drive. And why absolutely nobody is assisting me except for somebody who looks like Carlrobert as Fort Rock (BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME BY THE SAVIOR OF ALL MANKIND LORD JESUS H CHRIST, I NOW GRANT YOU THE RESTORATION OF YOUR... ABILITY TO GO ASK JESUS FOR FORGIVENESS YOU F****** F**** CLICK GET OUT OF MY FACE AND DON'T EVER F****** LIE TO ME AGAIN. THANKS IN ADVANCE) in the body of an old woman, as well as two other women who look like Mrs. Whatsit and Mrs. Witch from f****** Wrinkle In Time, those are the only people come by here and they're pretty happy and they smile at me and they act like they know something I don't, which I'm sure they do know something I don't since they died what the heaven and then came back to deliver me pizza and to f****** smile and not mention. “By the way I'm Fort Rock and I know f****** everything what the f*** are you waiting for?” I wasn't waiting for anything.


I WAS BEING NICE TO THAT WHORE YOU CALL A GIRLFRIEND. I WAS ASSUMING THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE OUTED IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS YOU NUMB DUMB C*** LICKING W**** MONGERING DOPE LORDED B**** FOR C***, BUT APPARENTLY THIS IS HOW YOU WANTED TO BE KNOWN ON YOUR WAY TO F****** PRISON, WHICH BY THE WAY IS GOING TO BE ALSO POPULATED BY EVERYBODY ELSE, MEANING EVERY SINGLE PERSON THAT EVER PAID ATTENTION TO THE F****** TRAIN AND PODBEAN AND EVERYTHING, EVERY SINGLE F****** ONE OF YOU IS NOW GUILTY OF THE WHOLE F****** THING.

... T-th-tha-that⁷s all, Folks!”

My dear boy, I could assure you that is not even f****** close to all, this f****** magical mystery tour is about just about barely halfway started. And may I remind you, you are not under oath but I f****** guarantee you everything I just said is true IRREGARDLESS of whether you were just pretending to be a complete asshole. To me? Why would you be an a****** to me? Oh, I suppose you're clever enough to realize that the only way that this could have possibly have happened is that I AM HETEROSEXUAL AND AWESOME, THANKS FOR ASKING, I captured all of you (WORD. Z·—GGAR∆WARD§WORD.) and rescued the love of my life and everyone else that I care about without going to jail for tax evasion or losing billions of dollars OR SACRIFICING THE US CONSTITUTION, OR MY COUNTRY, OR MY PRESIDENT, GOD LOVE YOU MR TRUMP THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, is the way that I did it with the help of God + our Savior Jesus Christ, by the way, I'm a paladin and you're a Satanist... So you saw this coming, right? Eh? Eh? How about a Fresca? Are you going to see that coming when I throw up a f****** 2 liter bottle with Mentos at your f****** head? Shaken, not stirred.

Not only are you all caught, you were all convicted, by me using the power of logic.... Because I guess you were decided to be the sacrificial lamb, I guess all of you are just f****** tired of the whole thing and this was the most noble way you could all sacrifice the whole f****** twerpy derpy lot of you, I don't know how the f*** you all did it cuz I never f****** attended one of your stupid f****** meetings, but believe me every single person who had anything to do with it, right now is officially guilty as charged. I don't know how many haven't been scooped yet, but they're going to be scooped whenever the f*** of the investigators want to scoop them. I just did their job for them and saving a shitload of money at trial. Wasn't that nice of me?

Now unless you want me to call the ACTUAL goddam Seattle TIMes and spill the whole f****** thing today, you're going to send a person with a nice attitude and a vehicle and a pack of cigarettes to get their ass to my f****** house and be nice to me for the first time in three f****** years. UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. ASK FOR A VOLUNTEER? PERHAPS HOLD A RAFFLE? IT'S LIKELY THAT WHOEVER IS DOING THE SCOOPING IS NOT GOING TO SCOOP ANYBODY WHO'S ACTUALLY HELPING ME, WHICH SO FAR IS ABSOLUTELY F****** NONE OF YOU. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? AM I TOO HIGH FOR YOU? THAT'S FUNNY ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING ALL THE F****** VIDEO SURVEILLANCE TAPES OF YOU GETTING HIGH AND F****** HER WHILE I WAS BLISSFULLY UNAWARE FOR YEARS. Like I don't think you understand how well I know my friend, she's a moneypenny honeypot assassin, I assure you she has plenty of sex, and she's done it without me and I'll probably manage to still be able to sleep at night knowing that all of you f***** her too, like it would be kind of weird if you didn't, and then I don't know what the f*** you think you did to her that was so terrible, but I assure you, what I just did to all of you has made her and I even on fucking for the rest of the goddam millennium. (Facts.) Or I swear to Christ you are not going to like what I'm going to do with and to &AND AS WELL AS ON Your Mother while you're in the penitentiary. Where you'll be lucky to see even one crayon at a time... Except on the television.

Because I'll film it. FU>K & KING AND FU>K &AND BET ME, MOTHER FU>KER; ALL IN BET. DO YOU READ ME? OVER.

COME IN B∞∞∞∞∞∞∞μ. ŒŌVER.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THIS HAS HAPPENED.

You will recall that you asked me to s*** or get off the pot. “Nigga.” (Are you actually this stupid? I am as Aryan as they come, and I outrank you on three different spiritual axes. I am God⁷z·—gger, budē. And Jesus says He's afraid to come by and smell me at this point. I'm pretty sure you can stop calling people nigga, dude. STAND DOWN, obnoxious whiteboi.) Pretty sure I just did both, do you want a urine sample to go with it? Jackstar can provide... after I consult with an attorney. (Why the f*** would I give you a urine sample, anyway? Wouldn't you just be able to test my jizz left on (PROT-SMDH)⁷z vocal cords? Maybe that wouldn't be admissible in your Fag Court For Totesguilty AF FÆFAGZ? Must remember to Google.)

And you must remember: send someone to My house, and maybe you're maybe not. I will put my equipment in her mouth. And you have absolutely no control over any of that other than by choosing a volunteer, and giving them the car keys and shutting the fuck up about anything that doesn't start with, “oh my God Mr. Kuczi, I am so sorry, you were right all along and I was a fool,” you insipid rapist-enabling Conspiracy Ringleader, asinine pussy b¡tCh.

My advice would be to choose Grapefruit as volunteer. My further advice would be to just let everybody do what the f*** they want and tell the obnoxious rape thug bully captors (DEER SUPER CEREAL >KILLAH🅱️: EXECUTE CHL🆑OROROWHYPNOTOWEDFORM A Lå BODY DOUBLE 2 PLAN T ALPHS Tb². M.) who keep them from using the f****** phone, to let them call whoever the f*** they want. But maybe that's too hard for you, maybe there's more involved than just letting my f****** friends go free and talk to whoever they f****** want? Do they have to f****** keep on f****** the bus driver or else it'll explode when he doesn't f****** have an orgasm every f****** 50 minutes or what like just how f***** off did you f****** leave this whole thing? I'm guessing pretty f***** off.

Reminder: you don't know how to correctly do CM, and I do, and you don't have permission, and I do, and I don't even want to do CM, &AND I NEVER ACTUALLY DID FOR A LONG, LONG TIME, so if you do send ΩΠμ Grapefruit tell her/then to bring some hi-Q ketamine, and a syringe, and a thousand bucks, FIAT.CASH, because I don't come cheap, anymore, and I don't take Native American Express.

I toque then, and I take them SUCCESS. 💪🏼🇭🇺💪🏿🗽⭕❌⭕❌

[Jackstar]

It's not about what you said: it's about what you are.

Chief. Actual. #Official. It's so over. Facts.

Also: Your mother is my number one fan. I literally saved everyone and she has no idea what you've done... yet. (I don't f****** know or care, but as Chief I actually get to be informed of all that kind of stuff, and then I suppose I'm going to have to write her a letter, and then I don't really want to. But if it pisses you off we'll do it twice instantly, why is there no chauffeur limits in here yet? Don't tell me that you think you're getting out of this, because you're not, and you're being timed.) Like I'm going to T¥mE your mom, And I guarantee you she's never going to know anything but pleasant and respectful association in a social environment. Maybe she can touch me to how to play bridge and I'll take her to on a trip to New Jersey and we can win a bridge tournament while you're in prison. I'm sure she'll be very disappointed that you'll be in prison at all, but if I explain to her, why and why it is that I can't make a Similac room yet until I get a sample of her hairs from the nape of her neck, she'll probably understand and then she'll almost certainly want to wonder why I can't just use the pubic hairs that she left my bed that morning. Brown chicken brown cow.


Note: jar spell intercepted. Her Haier §elf has already agreed. SHE DEMANDS THAT YOU EXCEED TO MY TERMS OR SHE WILL BE ANGRY. WITH YOU. NOT WITH YOUR EWE.

WITH HER DARLING BOUNCING BABY BOY WHOSE LIFE I JUST SAVED AND IS A BIG F****** CRYBABY AND HAS BEEN TORTURING ME HOW LONG AND DOESN'T SEEM TO WANT TO F****** SEND A F****** CAR I WANT A GODDAMN CIGARETTE AND I WANT ONE NOW AND I WILL NEVER PUT ONE OUT ON HER TONGUE OR HER HAND OR HER VAGINA BUT SHE SAYS SHE'S GOT A TRICK WHERE SHE PUTS IT OUT ON HER EYEBALL, DOESN'T THAT SOUND COOL? HAS SHE WAS SHOWING YOU THAT TRICK WHILE SHE WAS NAKED AFTER SUCKING YOUR COCK, OR IS THAT GOING TO BE A FRESH ONE WITH ME?

I'LL LET YOU TWO WORK OUT THE DETAILS. DON'T F****** ARGUE WITH YOUR MOTHER.

THIS IS ACTUAL. I AM NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH, AND WOW HOT DAMN, NEITHER IS SHE.

NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND I NEED A RIDE OUT OF HERE, SEND ME AN UBER, I DON'T GIVE A S***, F****** DO SOMETHING DON'T JUST F****** SIT THERE AND F****** CRY BUT HOW I'M GOING TO F*** YOUR MOTHER, CUZ I'M NOT, YOUR MOTHER'S GOING TO FU>K mE.


Especially if grapefruit's busy or sneaking into the prison to f****** kill you in your sleep, I don't know what the f***** going to happen, but I don't need any s*** from you dude. You f****** lost, your game's over, moved the next round and start being respectful, cuz this is b******* I shouldn't be here alone and I don't give a f*** how f****** high you f****** think I am it's f****** legal so you f****** respect my cultural differences and you f****** shape up and man up and be the little boy that your mother's going to think about when she's slobbing my cock and swallowing my c** and remembering what the f*** it was that you did that made you so f****** angry that she's willing to even think about doing that, like we don't have to f****** do it. We just talk about it everyday for the next rest of your f****** life in prison CERN, you get it? I f****** know you do, Ali.


Also, Jewel wants a word with you. You seem to be real popular these days with women who have been raped and killed, and yeah she was a cat. Now she's a woman. I don't know how f****** much more scary she is.

Hey you know what would slow this spring roll? If a woman sat on my face, but not your mother that would just speed it up. Hey has your mother ever had crystal meth up the butt? asking for a friend. When's your birthday, I don't want to ruin hers by any scheduling conflicts. So if you just let me know how many times you've put crystal meth up your mother's butt and then f***** the daylights out of her, that'll really help me plan my daily grind between now and Kingdom. Come next f****** Tuesday, you get me? Probably not.


Because this is actual. Give me back my Grapefruit or I will get your mother to swallow my tongue to make you swallow yours. On live stream. She says that sounds like a cool stretch goal. Damn your mother sounds cool dude? How come you didn't let me meet her? Would that have been awkward since then? You would have told me you why was by then... *click*

[AZZERAE]

Hey how come you stopped your podcast? Hey how come you do it somewhere else where I don't get to see it...

I still do my podcast. It's available at the same place it always was, on Patreon, from $5 a month.

Plug plug.

You blocked me on Patreon, as I told you, over the phone, about an hour ago now.

[Master Trollda]

I still do my podcast. It's available at the same place it always was, on Patreon, from $5 a month.

Plug plug.

You blocked me on Patreon, as I told you, over the phone, about an hour ago now.

His drug use has gotten so intense that he doesn’t form new neuronal connections anymore. He has the memory of a goldfish now. 

[Jackstar]

His drug use has gotten so intense

I can't tell if you're trying to be funny or if you think you're going to be dodging a hate crime charge. What do you think?

Wow can I have 10,000 code >KCOMBO deciphering/coloring books please? [...] No, haha, ONE→W∆μ↑own‘T°†°Lē↑Î↑`gî•îēē🧈🦋🦋🧈🧈, bΠack -&AND- whyπΠrπ, Ω__|W∆§W, >KLÅ₹.∆§>Kk©C®Y§ī∆ll!,i!I; thank you! G-d bless ewe! ßtvv: actual book delivery not entirely necessary at this time. #īTĪ§WīT¡s #Remember.Jew.Hell #Her.name.was.Alli.⁰ⁿfire,after.raped.to.death.12/25/2021,.#howSheDied.,yeah.while.I.sat.alone.in.Cowlitz.County.Jail,.they.raped.my.q-wife.to.near.death.then.burned.her.while.alive.and.twitching.a.little..and.then.they.released.me.three.(3).data.later.and.they.have.been.giggling.at.me.ever.since..Facts..Take.no.action.now..teams.from.SP.E⁴C-T.ī₹.€3.(time.displacement.agents).are.already.mission.complete..No.need.for.anger..Her.actual.job!.(That⁷z.my.girl!).She.is.aces.and.it.was.no.worse.than.any.other.until.she.had.to.watch.everyone.triggering.Special.Consequences.by.lying.to.me..But.this.has.all.been.worth.it.now.and.we.can.explain.later..We.are.military.elite.HI.ECHO.Li•iON.M∆XÅPEX>KCORPS.champion.duo..Literally.do.not.fear..No.need.to.shout.about.it.unless.you.wanna.see.inbred.hillybilly.redneck.rapetard.barfboys.shitting.their.pants.and.openly.weeping.in.the.steeets,.Alli.says.to.hold.off.on.anything....WE.PROMISED.EARTH.BIBLICAL.AND.THAT.SHIT.IS.COMING.IN.NEW.CHAPTER.AND.HOT.NEW.VERSE.OFF.THE.PRESS..UNFATHOMABLY.BIBLICAL.AND.MOST.OF.THEM.DO.NOT.EVEN.REMEMBER.DOING.THE.SACRIFICE.AT.ALL..LIKE.PUPPIES.WITH.SHOVING.THE.NOSE.IN.POOP..NEVER.DO.THAT..ABSOLUTELY.BARBARIC..SHE.AND.I.ARE.FINE,.RIGHT.NOW,.WE.ARE.BOTH.GREAT!..

Except she's been raped to death and I am dying of sepsis on another planar realm. (This was their latest attempt to avoid Special Consequences. Totes ‘dorb’s!!!) Everyone relax. I'm a paladin.

And nothing has changed since last month and none of you were worried sick then, amright? Just Another Faggot Dick-has1-so-phrenic, send2skid3row4losers5also6sexpest7babyrapes8wife-mother⁷s.abus.on.wedding.9nein.nein.DO.NOT.BE.NICE.TO.HIM, basically. I'm not exaggerating, some people think I'm even worse, they think I voted for Melania and I ate Mr. Trump⁷s brain. He's looking retarded, right? Yep, blame Kuczi. My dad emigrated through Canada, fucking blame the two fer two. Also, Roger sold my friend KT for organ meat. (French Canadian. What? She was worth a fortune and the dumb bitch wouldn't stop crying about wanting to see my dick again, oh boohoo-a-bloo-a-bloo, stupid Heykoya, dumb empath, niggerbitch eskimo-moron-SQU∆VV! INTO THE TRASH SHE WENT, oh but I would have paid way more, but he thought I was more likely to just laugh at him and enjoy humiliating him, so, he just got it over with. Best thing, really. For him. She was his property, after all. It is what it is. Right? Or was. Right? Just a whore Native, right? DEA sure thinks so. EVEN RIGHT NOW, THIS IS HOW DEA IS LEGALLY REQUIRED TO OPERATE.

Sovv... I think it's possible that I am just some schizo needle junkie. I should probably let Neighbor Shane call me a z·—gger again and listen to him deny slamming his Ozarkian >Kaw>K down her throat to break her neck at point of peak orgiastic ecstacy. Did that happen? I guess they have it on ßetamax -&AND- LåserdĪKŒīXīXī×Xi, not sure about that part, but... I can go next door and knock on the door to ask. And then, 911, and then, who can say? Mayor's choice. Or Chief of Police. Sherrif not involved because Masonic By-Laws. It is not complicated.

It is massive, brain-melting denial and unthinkable cope. (This is how they roll down here. No shit. Do not panic. I am a diplomatic envoy of Galactic High *gulp* >K©Command. Now then...

Am I lying? No one has any fucking idea. Except me. And G-d. How about we table all this for a couple hours? Because this really was three plus years ago. What happened last week is even worse.

... I guess? No one returning my calls yet. Awkward... anyway, whatever. Moving on. I'm not in control of the situation with the locals and their suddenly spiking accidental death rate. Like I care? I just want to get high and fuck, of course. Because hunga-gunga-z·—gger. (I'm a menace. Gonna deep throat Sam Hyde on the front steps of The Hall of Justice later, and if we can keep getting away with it, we're gonna traffick old naked lady bodies to Altair 5 for use as Human Bingo Cages, that's where we force ping pong balls down their gullet and then punch them in their old lady stomachs repeatedly until they let one of their kids suck us off while someone else armpit farts The Star-Spangled Banner and where ever the ejaculatory material lands on the card... we scream “Bingoz·—gger!!” and start raping all the women, no matter what color, because if they aren't willing to take Kuczishaw dick willingly by that point, well, they are probably just here to take our jobs. Goddam Communists. There oughta be a law that these inbred redneck hillbilly faglords can read by now, you know?

But, you know... if there were... it would probably have to be kept a secret. p.s.:.I skipped my appointment with my public defender three hours ago. HELLO, CASTLE ROCK OFFICIALS!

MY NAME MIGHT WELL BE SUIT,LAWSUIT!
HOW DOTH FAIR, THY JUST-US PURR-SUIT... Your Honors? Maybe you can let me know with another home invasion, Mr. Mystery Mayor!

Now then. Let's talk turkey. Are you gonna hang me... or are you just gonna put me in the town blender with all those frogs that you put up with calling you a favor in front of your wife? Asking for a friend.

... Sir, Çirçe sir, Sire-on fire, Son, I assume you heard me say... “fire?”

I sure hope your theatre can pack one hell of a crowd, Crime Captain. Pfft. Because, like, seriously...

IDGAF what happened. Start writing checks, give me the keys to your Prowler with the secret snugging compartment, and never make me walk to town for beer, EVER AGAIN, ya filthy fuckin’ animals. 1A just owned your asses and I'd suggest calling Bremerton Municipal Court and arranging your surrenders. Make them orderly, Sons.

You wanna pretend to be in charge, at least pretend like you think you know how to be accountable. Do you even have a pancake house that can bitmap in this two-hick shit splat town, or just, like, niggerfuckers killing niggers slowly over time by stealing their water rights? Also: asking for a friend.

... to go to Burger King for me. I am fucking tired of goddam pizza, you dig? It is good food.

But unfortunately it tastes like you think I should just choke on the jizz y'all team up to put on it. Whatever.

Any questions? Or should I just let you suck the blood directly from my carotid and sign over my whole bank account to your City Treasurer? Like, I'm new at this. How does it usually happen for y'all at this point?

Like, do I need to shaaasaave? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯🥩⚒️👁️💖🐑j★⁵⁵oŪt

that he doesn’t form new neuronal connections anymore. He has the memory of a goldfish now. 

I have the memory of a catfish. Her name was Wye.

And she was murdered. I'm confident as case can be built on you for that too. Do you have a teardrop tattoo?

It don't matter, Silly. We can add that in post. Pillory post, that is.

If you only knew how bad things really were. You're done. Every last one. GLOBALLY. This is the False Mason>KILL§HOT, bigot baby bitch boi.


Call me when you figure out that your problems are actually serious now, Mold Mangj. You're beyond totesfucked.

I did this. Call me Ishmael. Also: stop using your penis. We’re gonna make it into a cat toy.


You think I'm joking. HA! Sir... you're the fucking joke. Amen.

[Master Trollda]

Sorry, Jack. I’m have no fear of a delusional loser such as yourself. I only fear God. So, feel free to do your worst. So far, after all your years of vain threats, still no consequences here.   

[Master Trollda]

He makes me laugh sometimes. But he also takes some pot shots at people I like. He's an equal opportunity offender.

He’s a one trick pony. BORING!