Get the weaker Alpha strain from [...] and enjoy your immunity forever more.
I got mine in January 2020 at (CLASSIFIED), and it has beat back everything ever since—including Texan Herpes. I walk around maskless, pantless, & full-on careless, fully carefree, everywhere & anyplace I travel, spreading innocuous, yet fully inoculating particles across the whole of The Land. I was already immortal; now,
I am Eternal. I only ever wash my hands to remove any lingering smell of semen or lasagna; I can't afford any more groupies tagging along. When I stop to smell the flowers, the flowers smell
Me and the honeybees line up to take turns at a shot to pollinate.
I'm like the Johnny Appleseed of COVID. I'm like “Typhoid Michael,” if typhoid could save your life
and your soul.
I am Jackstar, The Redeemer. You're all fuckin’
welcome.