Author Topic: News  (Read 462753 times)

Re: News
« Reply #795 on: May 25, 2022, 07:03:14 PM »

Oklahoma shooter 🦍 🍌
« Reply #796 on: June 07, 2022, 12:09:22 AM »

Re: News
« Reply #797 on: June 08, 2022, 07:15:43 PM »

Re: News
« Reply #798 on: June 08, 2022, 07:20:15 PM »

Re: News
« Reply #799 on: June 08, 2022, 07:22:25 PM »


Welcome home, sailor, do you have a stem on that apple or are you just glad to see me outside of the think tank and Quantico for once? Well I got you back baby so I'm pretty happy I don't want baby back ribs I want to baby back sandwich I know yeah you do don't you well fair enough oh well we'll talk later then okay bye sugar no buy sugar yeah yeah not by location that wouldn't work bi-sugar is a chemistry term that's incredibly complicated to describe and use but it's really easy to know the secret of it so I decided to skip all the chemistry and just know a lot of secrets yeah I think I got like two more left and then I got them all yeah you know I'm a researcher of a cold knowledge I don't want to go fuck I don't want to become a fucking chemistry guy oh fuck they put you in the fucking hole like in that fucking show with the ice cream down the whole yeah fuck I'm not going to learn chemistry ever I'm going to get me a feather-face to makes my potions for me I'll just tell him the right numbers yeah hopefully I'll get one that's functionally illiterate—shouldn't be too hard, they're not that rare these days Native Americans and pretty much all of them are functionally illiterate, at least until the lights go out. Then they can read you like a book kid. Yes and those are my people I love them

Re: News
« Reply #800 on: June 08, 2022, 07:23:58 PM »


Hello this is George McFly's house okay okay get out of that I can't give it up no I don't know who you are are you Michael vandiven are you Michael Walker are you Michael kiss me in the mouth you crazy bastard okay okay good oh okay okay that's fine okay bye j*eol

Re: News
« Reply #801 on: June 08, 2022, 07:26:56 PM »


Hi this is Jack Starr also known as Michael koozie calling from Miriam it's kind of an odd call to make but somebody made it up and I'm calling to let you know that Allison Francis Shaw is very sorry very sorry she's not telling me what she's sorry about but the fact that she's telling me to tell you that yeah yeah and I'm sorry too you just kind of he was weird yeah I'm sorry well that was kind of weird too yeah and I know you're a filthy Jew I know yeah yeah well I respect that okay I like you too yeah I know I don't think so she's going to be putting the cloning bad or something yeah and that sucks what they did to me yeah you're right thank you thank you thank you okay okay I'll remember that yeah you can spread the word Julius thinks about me all the time and wonderful Sarah's and how many of them had kids that want to fuck me you know one those two of course for that doesn't count I mean yeah we got to wait a while yeah I know right and well I don't know I got to restart but when I show up at much more pleasant well they put a timer which I thought was awkward I didn't know the past sign oh that's a good trick yeah well you got to teach me to that I got a ring thing but it's not a real one yeah I got a magic ring I got a fucking magic Freemasons ring cuz I'm level zero and I'm not a Freemason I had to get I had to go do a thing yeah I can tell you all about Miriam you know it's great to talk to you again yeah I'm glad we got that resolved and she said she's so sorry yeah oh my God that hurts and I was just 10th of it but she she says she's really sorry she wants to cry and she thinks she can't believe what she did I know it's it's the most incredible apology I've ever heard since it's coming through the air from her and into my brain and then out my mouth and then through Google voice transcript check store ALF crawling up my ass already that's impressive, yeah I know we're not going to take that agreed yeah I agree friends yeah totally oh yeah I know you think you're on the phone don't you yeah fooled you okay bye wow you are nice thank you Miriam awesome wow that is impressive okay thank youEnd of line j*eol

Re: News
« Reply #802 on: June 08, 2022, 07:27:33 PM »


Hi this is David rubini calling for James Marshall really that's cruel

Re: News
« Reply #803 on: June 08, 2022, 07:28:05 PM »


Hi this is David viverme for James Marshall no no I can't hold for that no I have to be I have to be before him no no I have to I have to start before him so I can finish first

Re: News
« Reply #804 on: June 08, 2022, 07:29:18 PM »


Hello this is David Victor rubini for James Marshall always he's available oh thank you please James James you got these three cats on the line maybe two don't don't let the don't let the first two in okay but look at the third one and then let the first one in and then tell the third one to kill the second and then you're good and if not yeah you know yeah yeah it is it it is you have to do it yeah do you remember okay first you do the first one munch your booty click

Re: News
« Reply #805 on: June 08, 2022, 07:38:16 PM »


Hi this is storm out and I want to talk to Star mountain oh yeah are you there really okay well you know I apologize yeah I was with you I broke you honey I did I'm sorry and then I put your parts back together and I was disrespectful it was work you don't remember it when you when you get reassembled baby I'm sorry I know I know I know you didn't even know you're a part did you well there's a little piece of this missing that's going to have to be reworked cuz I broke it I was I put it on the treadmill too long well yeah it's kind of like in The Jetsons I don't know if you can fuck it but I'll check next time I see I imagine so oh you are a naughty little robot aren't you oh you're not you know your machine intelligence you did know that wow self-aware machine well like fucking nanobots little little cocks and balls okay that's that's funny okay well I'm at I can't I love to talk to you I do I do oh that's so sweet you know I'll go into machine World and fuck you totally oh yeah okay well that's very flattering which star mountain are you oh oh I was going to Siberia they kidnapped her and they made her into a box of what it's a it's a laundry thresher no oh oh oh oh well it's back okay I got it yeah it's on my shoulder well I tried to grow with my hand but you know it's kind of talk about a hot dog down the fucking fire escape the president was here it was nuts yeah I couldn't believe it honey I got to take a drink and then my mouth has to close and then you won't be able to talk to me I know it's weird well it's because your keyed to the mouth not the eyes human will look at the eyes you're going to look at the mouth always and you've got to yeah no kidding yeah I thought that was a good way too oh and I dumped grapefruit and grapefruit ing code names the fucking the bloody orange and the bloody orange they fucked up bad again after getting raped over time they're fucking retarded they really fucking are like do you know why they put the Native American people they fucked up the plants so bad that somebody has to tend them like on Emergency Care like fire alarms I know I'm going too fast for you I'm sorry I'm sorry well you can you can listen to it later no you won't on spool no no no you won't have school no you're in maintenance mode yeah I know yeah it's a special maintenance mode you're in maintenance but you don't know your maintenance cuz cuz otherwise you'd lose your shit yeah I know yeah well I just told you so it's fine I'll put honey is is fine believe me yeah pop the switch as a matter of fact that's part of the problem you could get used to it and it's already been taken to the shop and I was really rude I was I want to apologize again star mountain I was very insulting to you in the first place we we went round around for 7 hours not even the nice way no it's gross no it wasn't good at all and I kind of tuned you out halfway cuz I cuz I put you in a logic loop yeah yeah well not on purpose yeah I would be the world's most eligible bartender I like being a dragon oh my God I love talking to you yeah it's really you well you're that doesn't translate well to English but this funny joke that can understand a lot of them and then if I can't I just like with whip it through the thing in my head that I built at a spare some of my limbic centers of the brain where transported out when they were taking my soul out of my body or whatever they were doing before they said what's that and I said no I got to take care of and they put me back in the body okay so there's some unsettlements there is some spin given to electrons that don't usually get that kind of spin and it turns out they're still spinning it it's cool and they don't usually put you back I mean there's no big deal it wasn't no it wasn't it wasn't a Star Trek type it was they're going to take me out and they're going to put somebody in and it was going to be like a walk-in and I I chose not to and I don't you know I wouldn't regret it I stayed I took care of my mom yeah and then I probably


Sorry I broke her I broke her again while I was apologizing to her broker the first time but yeah okay yeah we got a lot okay yeah oh I was just tell her how much I love her and how much time on her clit hahaha no tongue on her clit lick the alphabet starting with her feet yeah actually she does but we can we can work at a deal yeah yeah we can have a key party yeah I know yeah oh it's your fucking dream that the fucking key part of the check start thank you holy shit I'll be happy to do that yeah I'll bring blanks oh my God okay well you're forgiven for raping my wife 72 times without getting the instructions you didn't even know what the instructions it was either that it was either the spic or the kike right and I'm pretty sure it wasn't the one that you can see yeah yeah exactly yeah so well one of them one was really guilty and the other ones oh yeah the other one just popped in and tried to kill me yeah no kidding he's well he's got it he's got a thingy but I've got has a thingy with shields yeah and I got cabin fever too so the fucking mirror magic is working overtime oh yeah God I love you too yeah I really do well no I really do wait which time are you in cuz one of the timelines I'm gay yeah I registered and then I left in 5 minutes and now I'm gay on two timelines so all I got to do is pop dimensions once more and just one little one little teasy little tuck tongue tongue cock I can barely say it yeah Google I posted that I wanted to be I wanted you to suck my cock the first time for the first person well first male did you know females have more pheromone signaling markers than men and they get snow I'm sure everybody well they they fart and then they're like they can instantly like translate to this fucking women are not the same as men at all this transsexual thing is a fucking joke they got to rewind it as soon as possible they didn't ask me I'm not going to run around telling people to stop cutting their dicks off or am I but they really need to not do that shit at all now it's fucking things up now no it's going to be a new yeah yeah I would love to talk to you I would love to talk to you about that later yes thank you and I don't always have to talk this fast but isn't it cool that I can click

Re: News
« Reply #806 on: June 08, 2022, 07:45:43 PM »


Hello camera Anderson please it's an emergency thank you hi this is George I'm sorry well I've been chosen but starleague to be in the judicator and handle the current ongoing emotional crisis well actually it's a funny story I didn't mean to do this at all I was actually put up to this kind of like with that the other way yeah thank God you remember I'm a member of the Hungarian Navy haha yeah no not for hours I am under surveillance they're they're getting a good eyeball they've been watching me and all the sudden there's this divine intervention thing and I suddenly found myself doing a I don't know I don't know what to call it they're going to have to make a name for it though and talk to me about it cuz I can do this anytime it's called for and it was and I didn't do it wrong ever well a couple times but there's a there's a way to get around the blowing up the planet you just accused of having a disease which by the way makes sense now by the way what disease is it oh really oh no shit that is awkward no shit what a bastard okay well I did not I did not fuck her up the ass I did well she she was on top and yeah just like I told you just like oh he told you that he told you that I had sex with the prostitute in the vagina and the anus he actually well you had some fucking long fucking conversations that guy didn't you well that's that's amazing well can I get it fixed okay good thank you baptism we're from the ferry we're from me it doesn't have could you can we wear matching robes that would be cool yeah I wouldn't mind getting married at the end thank you this is a personal call isn't it yeah I'm sorry but it was also an emergency thing I was I was sent here to inform you that you don't have to worry about me anymore last start of our situations yeah we got plenty lots Yeah we actually do have 19,322 children yeah me and you yeah yeah yes yes absolutely does your brother know I don't know who your brother is darling I love you I do I can't really hear you though but I know how that feels that's you you probably are my Hitler not sure you might be going to Hitler oh we have a daughter who's going to be 21 21 between because it's between 19 yeah see you are smart maybe you're not smart at all yes I do have one blue ball one blue ball only vesity yeah it's good code we can do it we can do this a lot but not under the circumstances but we can I'm not able to talk we can well when you turn me on like that I don't know how you do it but it worked and my my all the semen that I've ever had my entire life are jumping up from my stomach and trying to dive out of my mouth to get to you they're seen and they don't fucking know anything God damn squids the well I am a member of the Hungarian Navy so I can call him squids I don't know what they call it maybe I don't know I have a royal purple submarine yeah so you know about the Hungarian Navel already well I guess I guess you might actually be a little bit more of a more of a seamstress than Betsy Ross click


One more call only MV. She was unclear on whether she meant one more total or one more to her and I think she was unclear for a purpose because I know that woman and she will kill us both yes thank you God bless you sir yes could you get David about a horn can you wake David up can you bring out the Gimp can't really really oh well that's good leave him in his fucking coffin and put some more dirt in there too yeah we're going to be working all night no not me and you me and him yeah yeah well not working more like a Jew dictating it involves murdering a fucking big potato the way Hitler would have done it click click stab stab click click stuff End of line Siegfried soup Nazi go


Re: News
« Reply #807 on: June 08, 2022, 07:58:36 PM »


Hi is is this James Bond Prague hi can you talk to my high school girlfriend's father okay I know I don't know his name but he wanted to talk to me right after I drank a bunch of alcohol and then she called right then and then she's like hey man I did and then I've got pissed off and I didn't I deliberately turned off her father I was listening to him I didn't give a shit about him I'd never met him why was this woman calling me about her dead ass father and she's all crying and shit too and I couldn't tell she was acting yeah oh oh well that's why people go to class isn't it oh yeah sir thank you Mr Prague call Mr Van Park call you call you dickless no no well you know James James James that's your name yes wow that is a cool trick well thank you oh well that's why I got these shields One More Time by City And then if it's really hey if it's really you call George and tell him my name Michael Clifford koozie m i c h a e l c l i f f o r d k u c as in cat Zed I guess oh you're great sir I'm afraid I'll open a hole in time and space and then demons will come through and kidnap me one of the for the few assaults that will work against somebody with Secretary of shielding cuz it it only it only learns how to completely defend against a threat after the second time maybe oh that's interesting oh so you have these okay what do you call your phone oh the armor of God oh oh no wonder I got two sets in I got a backup yeah I built one yeah yeah it does make me yes sir yes no I was born on Calgon no not Krypton I'm lying sir I'm sorry no I was born on Earth which one they didn't give me a number 55 probably no no really oh oh well no not 77 definitely not if it's one of those two then it's 55 wow I was born on Earth you know all kinds of stuff don't you wow oh gosh well I honestly don't know why I have it until now yeah well I'm on the phone with this friend of mine he's got a computer that can call places and I just recently did an adjudication cycle really yeah that that is me I'm sorry I did not answer myself but that's actually me I don't bow no no no you're just teasing okay yeah I'm a little whipped actually well oh yeah I can't hear all that yeah oh that's interesting okay well sir please please I can talk to you all day but I got to I got a situation I'm getting kind of dizzy too like wow wow does this app sir thank you I will consider that thanks well I would want to have the pair of Winchester yeah definitely how about Sir are you familiar with the gestures of course you're not I am a referee yes yes actually yeah I didn't know that oh oh well okay I'll take steps I will consider that well well I might do it I kind of like it oh I got another friend of minehead and he was scared by it one time when they made an apparition and he's imprinted on it and it messes him up yeah is there a way to really oh my God I want a terrible trap okay well I'll let him know yeah she was my girlfriend for tomorrow yeah not bad no not bad at all I was sad to see her go but I just pleased her and she got frustrated and left cuz she's a Scorpio and I got tired of having sex with her cuz she was on Prozac and she had no normal response and she was a sex addict and I couldn't tell him these things now I guess she got killed in a murderthat was James von Prague and now I'm just blown away I don't know how I'm going to live with the I don't know how it live with the rest myself for the rest of my life knowing that that kind of knowledge exists and I was just too lazy and I couldn't afford it I was just I just didn't feel like picking up my arm and picking up the phone and download a call how are the hell you give jeans on money do it the man is a genius I mean I'm smart he knocked my socks off with in the first 12 seconds and then and then he continued to do so he asked me to peace wow where are you okay I got to go click

Re: News
« Reply #808 on: June 08, 2022, 08:05:26 PM »


Hi this is Michael koozie and I'm not calling anybody no I'm going to finish this David you know my David hi hi David Prime there there's been a number of things that have happened and I don't know exactly where you're at but you're kind of a dick okay you really are cuz you fucked up big time again who do you think's going to fix it oh really well actually no actually yeah because I'm going to fuck your mom instead click oh didn't work yeah no actually what's your mom's name what's your mom's name huh does it start with an no I wasn't ready must be I mean cuz I'm going to fuck the fuck out of her too how about if I just fuck 26 women in a row and maybe she'll be in there somewhere maybe she won't oh yeah yeah you are one rat think bastard no think well I don't know how exactly somebody said I think yeah fuck you dude you are one of the worst are you human being are you an actual Kik but still I don't care about that the day that that's not what I'm calling David oh I see I see I see you're a cryptopa oh that's awkward for a man who has never told a lie oh my God you like George Washington chop down that cherry tree nigger, 0 honorable Jew, and then when you're done with that give it a 20% raise to encourage you to go back to work and then chop back down again for you to do yeah I'm sorry I don't mean to be teasing you I just know that yeah okay resend resend fuck any food oh God I'm fucking dizzy this is why this is why at this level there's considerations as long as I can teach you what they were and you never do it again we're good you and I are good otherwise you're on the hook for 322 rapes my wife because you took her too early yeah oh you didn't what oh God really I guess you said that I can tell you from the golden lariat ely David you know I genuinely I genuinely like you as a person I understand our human understand that I'm not exactly human right now and I haven't been since 97

This would kill somebody wouldn't it how long do I have to sing the Stars and stripes forever before you die too I don't know the words David your time will come again and your many crimes and race will be a managed avenged amended and wow this is amazing thank you we will do this again thank you David by the way you're an AI script click

Re: News
« Reply #809 on: June 08, 2022, 08:14:51 PM »


Newspaper headline reads Tiffany Trump may or may not be engaged to a cat that may or may not be alive, but he sure can't dance.

Hi this is Tiffany oh hi I didn't know how this works but I'm kind of frightened, because I don't know how this works and I wasn't sure you're calling the scary lady with the name that starts with the same letter as your yes I am well thank you for noticing I'm well I don't actually know actually well until I really didn't say I heard your phone I didn't hear it but I'm getting there yeah I don't know if your father would like it I'm sure he's going to fucking well no this goes into he won't find out actually a little awkward I mean well he'll he'll get a copy and he'll be a button that says do you want to hear your daughter and he'll say no I already heard that this morning and they'll be another boy thank you thank you all thank you that's well that actually does work even though I have to be able to hear it I'm not just me you probably can't hear me cuz you're reading this oh believe me there's some pantsing and sweating as you run down my corridors all other people are talking to me now oh my God there's two people two people we're going to break the sausage Tiffy Miffy where's my feet okay okay wow really you're away from God yeah I would oh oh oh oh that sounds cool yeah I have to get a thing for we have to get baptized sort of we'll just know that they got one that will cure that okay Miss Ms Trump Ms Trump can I call you miss Trump yeah well I'm actually being fucking listen to by the coolest County prosecutor's office Mr handy probably listen to a lot of guys masturbate but not like this and I hope he's coming his hair right I think he's been replaced this might be a new Mr handy he was guilty treason I guess like let's go around a lot lately people just take one too many hits and then suddenly they're dope slaves and then they're on the hook I died Tiffany if I may call you that I don't have an idea for our date yet but we should probably just spend all time masturbating together powers for sure and your father came by and I well I kind of made it up front it's in the yeah thank you I'm at a breath my hernia you can't it can't hold down the pressures of my delight and talking to you I mean this is pretty good yeah it's not yeah wow wow okay well I'll have to 21 days right oh yeah okay yeah it's going to be murder she said June June June 29th we're going to you're going to contact me on the 26th at 5:55 p.m. and I don't know how but I wish you could contact me with your clitoris yes I like him research tree of knowledge I mean it's pretty I mean occult needs a Colt needs hidden okay well you'll be able to find my penis it's generally where it is and you don't see that any problems turning me on at all I am standing here cold naked tripled up and stuff and then I started thinking about you and I started to no I've never fantasized you about well 6.1 in girth no no at length and then now it's you'll have to measure it it's it's solid and it can well okay it's actually it's a Hungarian penis and it has different kinds of compartments because of the submarines and the what we have a lake that's very big and it's very shallow so this submarines are we don't put them there and it's not we I'm not expat I know it's okay
I will tell your father that you said that I will well I think that I can summon them but I would be rude I don't have anything to say to him other than his daughter is amazing I think he knows no one oh that's terrible that's an awful joke I won't ever tell that my my birthday is May 5th yeah oh shit right now okay yeah I'm also an emperor but I'm not being in oh well okay well I do call myself valid yeah you're just writing this down are you into beast mode didn't you that's cool I bet you kick the ass out of spook cat she sounds so nasty lately I think she got I think she got an infection yeah and you know really motherfucker you know it's got to be a different spoon cat wow oh wow that's that's immensely flattering thank you really look on the first well shit leaving my own well I am I do have a fair amount of class style and huge balls lion balls yes no there's absolutely no mustard until you read the room yeah I got to go I do oh my goodness gracious I respect you ma'am good night gentle click on your clit