Oh, that's too bad, he's turned off his phone number. It is, of course, the only one that I have.
I guess he doesn't need any more voicemails! How delightful, to know that my (blank) is so well taken care of.
I guess if he needs to call me in the middle of the night to tell me that he's going to murder my girlfriend, he can use a different number or call from a private number, or whatever. I'd like to believe that you'll never ever do that again to anyone, but this guy being the man who he is, I don't know, I kind of start to worry if he's not starting to do that kind of thing.
I'm betting that he doesn't like being checked in on.
Anyway, I'm going to go over to his actual website the one that I can't get to unless I use tour, the one that I never been able to log into, because he doesn't actually want me there... he wants me, you know... gone, however that's really not going to happen at this rate.
That being said all the coolest kids seem to going to RubiniGab. Maybe it's safe for me now. Although maybe, maybe that's where his secret wife hangs out, you know the one I'm not supposed to talk to, the one thing they pretend they don't know each other but they've known each other for years? You know that one?
Obviously she needs a place of her own, so I would expect that as a loving husband, he would have provided that for her. Christ, I fucking hope so. He sure went on and on about it for fucking months claiming that he was going to, I sure remember that!
And just think, if I had only killed myself when I was supposed to, she probably wouldn't have been kicked off the team. Once again that calls for speculation on my part, but I think I got my ear to the ground on this one.
And, I know what you're thinking, “why are we still talking about this garbage?” well, that's a great question, and I'll tell you why without waiting to be asked by any of you.
It's because some saucy minx in a black robe thinks it's a good idea to put people through their paces. Who am I to argue? It's not like I'm going to put skin at the game at this point, if it's going to be another 18 and 1/2 million years, that's just what its going to be.
Everyday that goes by in Limbo is another dollar saved in my pocket, I checked, I can't pay her back, giving her money counts as contact, they got very when I accidentally gave her 20 bucks. (It was an actual accident, I was trying to give her sister money and they allegedly have the same name. At least, that's what it said here on this app.
Really, when you think about it, the longer this takes, the greater the chance that she might get hit by a sniper, or just take yourself out of sheer to spare, or maybe somebody will come by an accidentally you know sexually assault her and strangle her again, who knows?
It's simply not my area. Similarly, now that your phone is off, I guess you're not my area now either.
Let me know if there's anything you need to have explained to you, Darren. I mean david. Sorry, I didn't mean to burn your new secret Identity or whatever. Darren, why would I start thinking of that? What is she your genie now and you're the master astronaut or some shit?
These are rhetorical questions that I don't actually want to know the answers to, and believe me I'm just teasing you, what you do with your legitimately married and registered with the state wife is of absolutely no concern of mine.
I can't quite agree with the whole thing where I'm supposed to keep it secret, considering I was told something else, but you know at this point I'm willing to go along with it, especially if some saucy minks in a differently colored robe wants to get some action on it.
Long story short, I guess I won't tell you the rest of details. I guess you're bored of my intelligence sources, David.
Oh by the way I expect your phone to continue being monitored for the next God only knows how long. You don't mind, right? You don't have anything on your mind that you're concerned about, or that you're up to, or stuff that could really really mess up your day if you got the wrong thing going on? Because I don't, and I don't know what you have going on, and I certainly don't care but I want to let you know that I'm not specifically happy about you being under surveillance another four months, I'm just specifically happy because this is now a conclusively demonstrated that... they have no case, and while it is not affecting me at all negatively, they certainly have no trouble being punitively persuasive in their ridiculous circumstances.
So I guess they're pretty pissed that they can't bust me for anything. I should be more careful. I mean, the last time that there was a whole bunch of guys trying to set me up for something, with triangulations and everything, I just got my car and drove in a random direction as far as possible before I could turn on my phone and call the sheriff's personal phone number and tell him that I was scared, hopefully that won't have to happen again.
Probably not because it was obvious entrapment. You know, it occurs to me that most people in the world have not read a whole lot of law books and then not gone to law school, so as an order not to tip their hand and spook the herd, but that's exactly what I did.
Current total amount spent on legal fees, by Jack starr, since July 2020: $0.
Rubini's amount: undisclosed, and he's shy about it.
I know Johnny Depp's case is certainly far more fascinating and much more relevant to everyone's interest, but on the bright side I am much more handsome, certainly more intelligent, and Grapefruit put Amber Heard to shame... at least until she started having sex with other people and not telling you about it and thought I wouldn't notice. What was she ashamed of? Well, I have no idea.
And inability to lay claim to her common law 50% share of the house that we supposedly bought "together" but after she hit me with a 2x4 in the left kidney, I think she would probably have difficulty doing that anyway.
So, that's about it. I could share more if you were interested in open and on a sharing with each other, but since you obviously are sharing cards very close to the vest, are unimpressed with my willingness to be open with you, in spite of our obvious differences and... look, I'm not trying to embarrass you, but it's bad enough that you don't answer the phone when I call. How do you know it might not be important?
Oh, right, psychic yeah I forgot. And you can allege that you're recording phone calls but then mysteriously whenever anything good happens, you never seem to have been recording then.
By the way, who's your new editor? That was impressive work. And, the timing! Top marks, Kiddo, top marks.
Yeah I know you're older than me, but I'm assuming your editor is younger and then I'm also being.. what's that where people keep on telling me that I'm being oh condescending yeah I'm definitely being that.
I suppose you were hoping that I would take that into court and play for the judge but I am surprisingly not nearly as dumb as I appear to be letting myself be perceived as. Also, once again, this case can take as long as it needs to, I could give a shit how long it takes her to have a conversation with me. She kept on telling me how many other people are worthy would be delighted to have a chance to be with her, well I'm sure she's having a great time doing that.
Basically what I'm saying is that I don't want to contact her and something happened today and I tell you all about it but maybe you're too busy explaining how flat Earth is cool to people who then come tell me that I should be paying attention to it. Or something, that's pretty wild out their speculation but I'm really running out of steam on the subject.
Also, honestly, David, after you got what you wanted out of me, you really just didn't seem to care about me anymore. Well that doesn't bother me on a personal level, it does seem a bit odd, considering that you seem so insistent on things that you desired being so absolutely important to you, tell me how to work out for you? Seems like you should be doing well!
I mean come on social distancing! I racked it up to 500 ft! That is what you demanded, do you not remember? Well, I may have taken longer than you wanted, but I have absolutely and completely retracted all of my claims towards your wife, that woman, whatever her name is.
Since I'm telling the truth and not spreading rumor, I'm in full compliance. Also, my neighbor said that the peacocks laid eggs that hatched.
I never heard another word about it.
As you can imagine, I am shocked and dismayed to be left out of another memo loop. And of course, I always wanted to have peacocks of my own. Our own.
Welcome to ZUGZWANG. God, I love it here. Come on, come and make a move, come and make any move, fine with me either way, just do it before I do.
There's one last piece of information but I care not to share in public, because I do not want an enemy to see it. I think I have an enemy, but it makes me feel like I look cooler and older if I claim that I do.
So I'll wait until the next time you call from a private number to tease and mock me and get some sort of information out of me before you hang up the phone and call me names right before you do. Not that I enjoy the abuse, or that I'm not lonely, it's that I know that that's the really only way you know how to express admiration in certain spheres.
That she expect me to believe that she fell for your bullshit was obviously some sort of secret code. There must have been some of sort of other connection, when it really wasn't my business until y'all lied to me about it and put me in goddam jail on Christmas.
I know... what I'm saying just sounds so unbelievable. Nevertheless you believed Juicy Smollett for a little while, and of course he did get a whole bunch of time for lying but you did actually believe him for a minute. At least some people did.
On the other hand... It continually blows me away how many people here have actually given so little attention to something they cared about so much before when they thought that they were going to see me suffer.
That's so strange all those rape jokes were funny before it happened to you, right? Also I still don't seem to have herpes so I don't know what you're complaining about with that about, but anyway — whatever. I'm good.
I can't leave the state and I have absolutely no legitimate connections that I can count on, but that's actually a strength, as no one can betray me. That is no small thing.
So I really hope you all enjoy the next 4 months. It's going to be a blast, for me.
I don't even like this house when it's empty. Nevertheless, I'll just hang out by myself... and wait.
I don't even need to monetize my podcast. Sayonara, suckers!!!
