5mwJ

[Jackstar]

I'm listening to my old shows

imagining inward seething

[Worthauger]

Everything changed when I realized I had looped my life back around to the path it could have—ought to have? mebbe—seven years before 1997.

Seven deadly sins, seven seas of Sinbad, seven brides for seven brothers, seven colors are rainbow seven fingers on... never mind.

Seven. Lucky 7. I do not know why, but nevertheless, I found myself back in time, but still in the present, and the instant I realized this, I changed my entire purpose in life to one singular focus.

Which is fine, as I really just had one then anyway; but I had allowed myself to drift away from my laser sharp precision targeting on that goal. Because, I kind of didn't think it was a possible thing.

When I realized it it might actually be I didn't know and I couldn't figure out how and I wondered... Do I have to be on another planet for that? And, yeah, maybe I did.

Long story short, plans have diverged, but I'm still trusting The Plan and I don't know who amongst you is not, but... you probably might want to start. It has taken me places I didn't think I could go, I've seen things you people could not imagine.

Trust me, don't sell yourself short, you can easily imagine an attack ship on fire off the shores of Orion. But can you imagine a sequence of digits that describe a piece of genetic code that when added to any commonly available recipe for butterscotch pudding, will create a poultice that will turn a normal human into a radio-controlled automaton that you can run from your smartphone?

Because they have that now. My hand to God. It works on superhumans too. It's usually not that easy to get them to sit down for a meal, even one as simple as butterscotch pudding but, well once they get it on them, once they get it in them, you can just flip a switch and get them to kneel down on their hands and knees and lick that butterscotch putting up off the floor with the broken glass if you want.

The future is now. Now if you will excuse me, I have things to do, my life has changed again, virtually overnight, plans made by others have caused me to alter my plans and then, as always, whatever I think I'm doing is going to be lined up with The Plan. Because I set it up that way years ago. I'm a lunatic! I'm a rebel! I get distracted by shiny objects! My tears ducts secrete a precious fluid that will get me high as Spaceballs if I decide to use them for lube! I need to remember what I'm here for: serve God, love life, and leave each corpse better looking than the last.

And that's why I'm totally happy not posting on EllGab. Really it would just be distraction from my day-to-day living which is really important to me right now. I have an actual life, People. And it is now free to love me back.

We'll probably be back to take you to Disneyland in the morning—at least as far as you know. And I'm just going to leave it open-ended so you don't know who I'm bringing back. But They will.

You had a chance to be close to me. I'm told it is going well—it's not happening for you yet, or for me, I got to get all this liquid smoke out of my hair before I leave, and I don't know what it's going to take for you people to get your shit together but... for the love of God; stop torturing children. Just look what they can turn into!


And I am one of the nice ones. PORT—*tingles*

I don't feel like reading this aloud today. Cloudy with 100% chance of Spaceballs.

[Jackstar]

https://twitter.com/_n_Jack/status/1508887469365682178

🎶 Don't underestimate the things that I will do. 🎷

[Innerreach]

https://twitter.com/_n_Jack/status/1508887469365682178

https://vocaroo.com/18uU8AQNW5gd

[Jackstar]

https://vocaroo.com/18uU8AQNW5gd

Stay out of my house. Write me an email!

[Innerreach]

Stay out of my house. Write me an email!

I responded to your silly little email already. You appear to be your usual paranoid and delusional self...

I'm good, thanks.

[Worthauger]

I responded to your silly little email already. You appear to be your usual paranoid and delusional self...

I'm good, thanks.

Tick tock.

[Jackstar]

https://twitter.com/_n_Jack/status/1509664510134693892

I'm better than this--but, I'm out on bond. Jail bond.

[Master Trollda]

https://twitter.com/_n_Jack/status/1509664510134693892

I'm better than this--but, I'm out on bond. Jail bond.

Jack, you’ve inspired me to start work on a Gilbert & Sullivan type operetta based on your life. Here’s some of the lyrics from the first song (remember, Gilbert & Sullivan ):

Whether. It. Has. A. Dick. Or. Not
A cat is a very useful pet (Do, DoDoDo)
Oh, a cat is a very useful pet.

[Jackstar]

Jack, you’ve inspired me to start work

Well, that's one way to get around the labor shortage. Now, if you can make it Wagner & Tchaikovsky we can talk. I'm considering. Not that I don't like Gilbert & Sullivan, but I want something in a foreign language with lots of crashing symbols and mournful violas so I can bring chicks who don't understand it and, thus, not have to answer any annoying questions while still maintaining some semblance of street cred.

Whether. It. Has. A. Dick. Or. Not
A cat is a very useful pet (Do, DoDoDo)

Necronomicon, here I come. Rawr

[Master Trollda]

Well, that's one way to get around the labor shortage. Now, if you can make it Wagner & Tchaikovsky we can talk. I'm considering. Not that I don't like Gilbert & Sullivan, but I want something in a foreign language with lots of crashing symbols and mournful violas so I can bring chicks who don't understand it and, thus, not have to answer any annoying questions while still maintaining some semblance of street cred.


Necronomicon, here I come. Rawr

Hmm... 🤔

I think K_Dubb would’ve been your guy for a production like that. I’m not flamboyant enough.

[WORTHAUGERa]

K_Dubb would’ve been your guy

PLOT TWIST: He is.


;)

[Master Trollda]

PLOT TWIST: He is.

[Laser]

Sorry; I was busy washing my hair in jail.

[Laser]