It's amazing how good marketing can be when they're all working together and not, you know, lying their asses off and backstabbing each other non-stop 24/7 with every move made. You wanna know why I don't work for money in your industry?
That's why. Keep the
real talent
happy,
Losers.
Now that I have established dominance with the
spectacular launch of my psychokinetic shielding, Content DElivery & Flower Gifting Network, and artisanal
boutique line of hand-knotted macramé tea & teapot cozies (pre-orders available soon(tm), both (2) ways), as well as
fully insulated myself from the fallback blowout
psychotic shitsplat shovels-and-cement-overshoes-ready passion projects all of all y'all seem to have been busily working on while working on what lies beneath... we
may continue.
Sorry though: The Mgt. regrets to inform that we're pretty much, I guess, all out of Alphabiscuits. I mean, I know there's at least five boxes left in the Strategic Spell Component & Constabulary Depot Reserve down the street, but, fuck that, I ain't leaving this goddam house for nothing. It's cozy here. Out there? Well, fuckin'
nightflyers and
psychotic ex-girlfriends, and that's just for starters. There are dozens of them. And... MOST OF THEM STILL HAVE WHAT COULD AT LEAST DEBATEDLY BE CALLED "A PLAN." (Please, clap, Jesus; obviously
some of them are
literally dyin' for attention if they down here at 55 Rock Bottom with you geeks, although now not maybe so much since I heard TeamBootom@gmxtoolsongs.com are working on a KucziApp -- Your #1 Source For Downloadable PDFs To File Harrassment Charges With. (Hopefully it comes with Nethack.))
Anyway, back to the coffee advert. Was there a "replaced with crystals" Easter Egg? By God and by damn, there fuckin' well ought to have been. Either way, that whole team deserved the Cleo. Multiple Cleos, fuck it, why not -- can't they just have a sale whenever they fuckin' feel like it? They're goddam marketers, after all. What's the point of selling your soul to Satan & Sofia, C'Thullu's Mom, if you can't just get up one morning and say to oneself, "I think I'm gonna slash all my prices by 50% today and see what happens" without getting a dead giraffe's head nailed to your clothesline.
Yeesh.
