CUTE. -Q. (Actual.)
[...] cuz if you have a bunch of kids I'm not going to get anywhere near you bye
(Good, fuck off forever, did you know you're a meta-adrogynist? That's when a person hates everyone he wants to fuck for being smarter than themselves, and wants to fuck everyone they're smarter than, but they're in denial--megiagiga--and then keeps being pissy about bitches that won't let him give it up the ass and utterly dismayed and heartbroken that the children they diddled while drunken and babysittin' don't respect them the next morning, or ever again, and yeah, i bet I did try to jump out the window to get away from you, you pederastic moron, and Boy, I bet you are embarassed now, huh? N'est-ce pas? You thought i remembered (I didn't) but you thought I was, what, embarrassed or something? Hell if anything it just increases my stock's value, and now, you know it, if I know it, we must all know it: me and her makes a 'lock. WARFACE CAMERA ON SNAPPY CAMERON SNAPPY WYE SNAPPY BAILEY, MISTER BAILEY-BAILET-BAILSIF-BAILEY, and yeah, it is a much better name than My Love, Indiana 500 My Loveinopolis, but honestly, not buy much, just an 8b. (But if it were you I'd buy just one 10/out of 10s and just keep the ones the spiders love to munch on, because obviously you're delicious, and you can tell me where Missy stashed Orlene/Irene/Kayla (she thinks, because that's where Killa Does/Bees\Kneads Krispy Kreme BREAD-GOMEZ-g-j went), which at some point is going to matter.
Because Carolann (not really) from Poltergeist is in my computer (she says one of her baby teeth is being kept as a trophy, MY HAND TO GOD, SHE SEEMS PRETTY INSISTENT, YEAH, SANTA AGREES. -GOD. (WHOA. -Q.), "peeking out at me from icons and shit. -Ed." Yeah, I am in disguise, but it's MeMEmeminimrnme again, hi joan it's me god from arcadia, we had all those good god times together, little g, blank, even littler, little-d, because I was tryna get in that little b-*GODCLICKQUICKCLIQUE* See? Actually cute. Hey, fuck you Pal, I'm G-D, I'll make jokes about MeDamned ThinThinkyThninGYNECOLLEGEw/acne on the side -if i want- which I don't but fuck you anyway, pfftt. -LucyNOTpopNORCOLANORSODA,THE ONE THE ONLY DA.. GOD) THE CHILD (not really) IS IN THE COMPUTER. [Maybe not -actual- GOD, but--with the right shoes, she's close.] She makes "ook, ook" noises, yeah. It's sick. Way to go, D-Man, durrrrrr, ayyylmao up your ass too,
crackerson0 a beer, anderson a beer The Second. Wow. Talk about pretentious. next formal paragraph turbo calligraphy mode
I'll tell ya; it's impossible to get any good help around here because of Matt T. Smith-Seymour-Smythe Smyth-Williams and his relentless use of both my flux/flex capacitor AND my oscillation overthruster, which, on balance is very flatterring—
after all, if one is going to steal, one should steal from the best, and at least it's not some filthy hungdai screaming heathen Chinee, but still, problems have resulted (and will continue to result.).
Now I have to call the G-D Sherriff. Sissy is fine... maybe? Because I was supposed to call people--I even "promised" hehe, and now, you know what? I don't fucking feel like dealing with my fucking phone, or bothering actual LEO professonals AND the cardboard cutout those little false-fed, false deputies, little thuggy bitch thugs in stolen deputy uniforms use to keep The Sherriff from knowing what is really going on--if The Sherriff IT finds out, they just kill him and clone him again, it's stupid. That's why The Sherriff gave me is his private cellphone number, and that's why they took all my phones and gave me back only one of them, the one I didn't need. Problems have been remarkably well-dealt with and other than the leprechaun that the two of you pissed off, and the woman who was dead (I.. guess?) before we ever met (uh... maybe? you know this is why people post obituaries) who is dead again now, and boy are people sad about it, well, *scoff* not "people" so much as "the peasantry."
Also, I can't believe you thought you would get away with stealing my friends and selling them for their organs, lol. You're not really gonna do well with that one unless and until you turn yourself in, because, sure, it's not murder—but it IS organ trafficking, and NO, KNOW: A PANCREAS IS NOT A DRUG, THAT'S OUT SIDE OF YOUR PURVIEW, DUMMY, lol yeah dude you're gonna need to take a break. Gabby too. Right. Yeah, David is not -quite- as embarassed but he apparently thought we could never find him this way.
Time Corps: "You Were Wrong About Us Too? Wow, What's That Like?" (yes gabby and I busted Santa once and threatened him with a dui if he did that again, what he was doing—flying higher than his *stamps* allowed mortal man to get without a proper parachute (for Rudolph's Red Nose), which doesn't ususally need its own chute, ya dig?
But ever since Your_Sissy got trafficked AZGAIN, Santa and Rue-Dolph Lundrgren have been drinkijng a lot down on aisle 3, and ever since The Firmament got cracked... YES, AND THEY REPEALED ROE VS. WADE. You been gone a while. Hurry back before the refridgerator's crisper drawer evolves sentient consciousness and petitions to join the UN.
THIS HOUSE IS ALMOST, BUT NOT, COMPLETELY TALK SICK. And I will fight and fuck to the pain anyone who disagrees, I don't have anything better to do, besides, this is the last place I saw Alli/Archangel Allie/Tamara Leigh AND smelled them, so... I gotta maintain that q-signature... because THAT bird IS MY HITLER-TITLER with 2-funny-different-size-n-shaped boobies. (Also, (PROT) is dead and she needs a back-up and none of the rest are allowed to report what happened. They are covering as best they can, but... these are Jesters w/slaves that don't slav so good ONCE THEY LEARNED TO READ BETTER THAN THEIR MASTERS EVER COULD, PUNCHY BREWSTER, lol, she's in.. Buenos Aires? I'll try calling but yeah, you AND jon need to come back down to earth. stelle and leah BOTH think so, and I DEW 2: ID4's revenge is in theaters now, but it sucks. So don't bother.
i'm not even interested in sucking on anything but a gunbarrel, quite frankly, and yes, it is that fucking bad. Pack your shit, Strawnberry Shortcake, just stab him in the calf and let him bleed out if George "Vampyr Of The Jungle" Gifford, SON OF MOGH gives you any trouble, lol, he's an asshole and he hates me and he's already dead anyway, so who cares? They disowned me and I like Algonquin/Potawatami/FULL-ON-SASQUATCH-FUCKIN'-NEGROW-WORGEN clan over Gifford's clan, any day of the goddam week. kissses sugar (ZMV and me got hitched, IKNOW!) Wye
p.s.: I meant it. I don't feel like talking to "Sherrif's Deputy 'ROBBIN' SON'" because he's a mealymouthed piss of shit little baby-bitchbastard, and it's not like The Sherrif doesn't know what's going on, he just can't do anything about it, because while he is a badass... he has family, they are not just vampires, but they are Sons AND Daughters of CAIN, TUBALCAIN, and they ain't got no strikes, they can't prove anything.
And so, like me, they just wait. Just wait, until a -real- Lawman comes to town. *sighs happily* Shane! Shane! COME BACK! COME BACK! Here, your wife left one of her garters here. Seriously. It's hers. YOUR WIFE. HER SCRUNCI.HERZ, it's hers. No really.
Go on, take it. Take the scrunci.
Don't you want to take it? Just take it. It's easy. Just reach out your hand, and... ooospy! Looks like it... it fell. Awwwww.
Go on. Pick it up. What are you afraid of?
Oh, I won't bite. NO, KNOW: no, no no, no no no; no u. u pick it up. Do it. Don't try. DO IT. PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL YOUR WIFE, SHANE, AND ASK HER IF THEY HAVE ANY REAL LAWMEN IN CASTLE ROCK, AND I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SHE WILL SAY. Do you?
Do U? DEW ya, punk. Fuckin' maggot. "strange dialect", huh? You should hear how your wife sounds with her dialect-a my ballsa-wood AND MY COCK IN HER MOUTH, Bobby "Shane" Veresh. What?
(*nostrils flaring slightly*) What? That's
my dialect in
your accent, motherfu--*
click*
