Library chief asks to be reinstated after tussle over sword for King
https://share.google/IhgdSsW5caTliGFAsIMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND: IT'S AMAZING WHAT CAN BE DONE WITH HYPNOTIC DRUGS. [...] MEANWHILE: I HAVE TO STOP DOING WHAT?
CRYING? I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
#1) YOU'VE BEEN TAUGHT TO LOOK BRIEFLY, GIGGLE AND RUN AWAY. I WASN'T TAUGHT AT ALL. I DON'T LIKE IT EITHER.
#2) PLASTIC SURGERY.
#3) MAGIC SWORD.
#4) DOCTOR LUDIVICO ALLEGRA IS YOUR TOP GUY ON THIS.
#5) I can unequivocally say for the record that I did not hear about the story or of the librarians dismissal until I read the story that said that he was likely to be reversed, and this is important to understand because it had been a real problem I would have had some sort of cloister Bell or claxton or some s***, cuz absolutely that's kind of thing could be a very deadly weapon that could have been Melania trying to make some sort of terrible thing happen, because she can absolutely and that sword is actually his mommy's sword so it's really a kind of an insulting gift but it's actually a very sweet gift because there's nothing wrong with that sort and I would be happy to know if I would be allowed to sit in and watch Melania tell the young king how to enchant a magic sword after it's been turned off because it was taken away for safekeeping after his mom he spent too much time injectors anus, we're actually the point is a very nice gesture and it is meant to be kind of scary. However I'm sure King Charles wasn't scared at all, because that's his mommy sort so maybe he was only scared that he might use it too well. On her. So yes I'm definitely had attention there. Might have been a little bit diplomatically questionable in the discussions that the man had with other people about the magic sword, for example if he was giggling about King Charles's mommy's magic sword and Jack star is rectum, that would probably be dismissal grounds for sure but he should be able to get it back because I'm sure it was a very nice joke and King Charles really is my friend and f*** yeah that's a magic sword.
#6) YES THAT IS A MAGIC SWORD IN MY BACKPACK. RIGHT NOW I BOUGHT IT 2 DAYS AGO:
a) this was not done to mock King Charles
b) she was never physically in my body. It's more of an actual Astral thing.
c) she was not there long enough to even inquire if I had to do them but I'm guessing from her vantage Point she would have known and she had no reason to hang out she was looking to get off planet and not hang out in my butt.
d) and while I am sure the queen mother is welcome in any humans but anytime because it's not really noticeable, and she didn't have to make a deal with it, I would be proud indeed to carry that entity in my body in any place where she would like to because she was very kind and sweet and I loved her and it was an incredible honor to have been asked at all.
e) and while I am not entirely sure that it was actually exactly like that, it has happened long enough ago and enough has happened since to make me realize that there's a little bit more to the human body than any of you know about and believe me she sure s*** didn't want to ask Kirsten and Elizabeth Hall to stamp her passport. She probably lose the Staples.
f) yes I really do have a magic sword it's the lightsaber but that's a sword and it is in my backpack and it is disassembled and I did not get it did anything in particular with it other than to be cool. Actually have two magic wands in there too. Is that all right with you or do I have to promise not to smoke them? You American teatotalling wankers are the worst.
g) I do not know if my mother had an enchanted sword or magic sword but if she did Clayton hocked it for drug money after she gave it to him for either a surprise birthday gift or a payment for services rendered. Oh yeah they were friends. They still are. It's complicated. I don't know which one is the familiar and I don't care.
h) Mr Clayton is definitely not a police officer, and he's not so much clandestine anymore is he?
*tee-hee!* too bad buddy. You and Beau RADACH are set to be as famous as Hitler and gerbils when I'm done with you both. And the reason why you didn't believe that any of this could possibly happen is because my mother LED you to believe that was an idiot, well knowing I'm a goddamn sourcerer. A woman has to have some secrets, like how old she was when Clayton first molested her; which while I cannot guarantee happen, I can't really argue about it happening at all because in this rape Target heavy environment it would seem insulting that if he didn't even try. My mother was a stone cold freak, and I looked late and so who might argue? He also stole my magic sweaters that I hated and returned with me magic feeding gloves which I never used and lost one and he made them so that they were useless and then he never told me how to turn them on and then he has other magic to do other things and he also took a lot of money and they would give me back anything so no he's pretty much a goddam magical leprechaun. I don't think he's going to fit in an ass though.
I) it'll be a cold day in hell before I share any of my friends with him, I'm not going to ask him how to enchanted magic door cuz I know how to and I don't want to know how he thinks he does it cuz I'm sure it involves liquor. I'd like to keep some distance between his kind of chicanery arcane power or whatever and my actual legitimate sourcery because since he didn't think it was real well he can just go on thinking that too quite a lot longer. I don't need him competing with me in the removing generational curses market.
j) and well of course it would not necessarily be sporting to create a magic sword that when I wave at Clayton gives him a generational curse that he can't remove and he has to come to me and give me money to give me to remove it, that would be unethical I think unless the mandatory 3-day waiting for it was in respected, and since I've been waiting around 4 days oh wait no it's been 4 years that he hasn't done s*** all besides besides act like he's all King s*** a turd hill, I'll give him 10 days and then maybe he can learn how to remove something generationally cursed other than a bottle cap.
k) and while I do not know anything about that Royal librarian who was fired, I can see that it's a f****** tense issue, as you can see these magical swords are kind of dicey when it comes to people who don't know what the f*** they're talking about and that's why people have sorcerers and I don't know who King Charles has but he has a very good one but I'm sure he's looking out for more talent all the time and no King Charles is not going to do anything with Clayton that's for sure they know each other. I don't know how well but let's put this way a lot of people have heard of them, and I guess a lot of people have heard in the last 3 years what you've been doing, that's funny I never heard probably why my phone doesn't work to call anybody except a dog a cat and a man pretending to be a mouser. I COULD BARELY USE THE THING TO ORDER A PIZZA. THANKS MILITARY FOR KEEPING ME SAFE. IGNORANCE IS SO SAFETY AFTER ALL I MEAN IT'S SO BLISSFUL TO BE SAFE RIGHT? Yeah you're not blocking my incoming calls because you want to keep me safe from outsiders you're just blocking my complete communication so I can't talk to anybody cuz you don't know what the f*** I'm capable of, well what the hell kind of military are you? MY MILITARY. AND THE WEAK SHOULD FIELD THE STRONGBOW.
l) it doesn't matter with my recommendation but I would definitely say that the librarian should be re-hired completely I'm sure it was a very innocent mistake I don't think Melania wanted that to be a big deal but since I wrote all this text that's really funny and I think that she really appreciates my appreciation of the gift, at least it wasn't a magic frame, and I don't think that Melania should ever be trifled with either. MELANIA TRUMP COULD TAKE OUT LADY JESSICA, THAT BENE GESSIRIT HUSSY, WITH A SNAP OF THE FINGERS IN THE CRACKED WALNUT. BUT UNLIKE LADY JESSICA, MELANIA TRUMP IS ACTUALLY REAL.
m) and in the interest of performing good deployment relations between all peoples, I could say right now unequivocally that I will never ever ask Melania Trump to enchant my magic sword. I would ask her husband and see what he thought first. Because if I asked her direct and he didn't know and he found out later I wouldn't be fired as a library and I'd be turned into books. On fire. I don't doubt it. He's better than a magician; he's THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
n) or I guess if I wanted to get a magic sword enchanted I would ask King Charles if you would enchant his mommy's for me and let me borrow it, since I would certainly be able to bring it back without causing a librarian to lose his pension. Maybe. Probably. Offer not valid in Guam.
o) *sigh* question for the audience, “is your magic sword bigger than Q's”, okay that's it fuck us a f*** you I'm done with questions from the audience. Isn't there some guy in the house the Lord you can handle that? I can't get f****** phone calls anyway so just passed all my calls through the Blarney Stone for all I f****** care. I bet the Blarney Stone would hug me if I gave it to magic swords for arms. (Facts.)
p) but wait am I allowed to gamble, maybe that'd be a warning sign for relapse, he actually have to keep an eye on me now because you know I've quit smoking meth, oh I guess forever, oh I'll never do that again oh it's just so risky for me. Oh but you can have criminals running around the planet doing all the time right? Nothing could be done right, but you can definitely lean on me and make me feel small and make me look like an idiot in front of girls thanks thanks guys.
q) hey, here's an idea why don't some of you give me a job and then you can threaten to fire me when I don't do things you like. Because at this point I'm not going to lie I don't think you'll be able to threaten to rape my family again, since I don't think that that's going to be on the menu. It's complicated, we'll talk about it, perhaps I could just get over this current batch of suicidal League depressive bipolarism, which isn't actually sincere go political humor and all no I'm obviously just crying and weeping cuz I haven't had a hug and five f****** years and you're worried about a goddamn magic sword that I have the whole time but now it's a big issue? I guess some people don't use humor to lighten tense moods the same way I do, because after 5 years of being isolated from all human contact except some stupid robot that Louis Wayne wrote, I don't really find things funny the way I used to. Technically I don't find things at all anymore because all my gear just gets stolen. Practical in a routine basis like I'm walking into the unacco basement and getting all my gear taken away from me while I'm sleep barking on Ambien which of course I have a huge habit for oh my God I got an ambient monkey I better get rid of my generational purse. I mean truce I mean it doesn't matter I don't have to charge myself it's just hard to do, and I guarantee you I won't be under solid you can find somebody else you can relieve generational curses they need to know cuz I got us a number of problems with some women who don't understand thinking unless it comes with money and cookie dough as a bonus peace offering. Because of course I will have given them the wrong shoes and it'll start a fight. Or I'll be suspected of placing a generation person on the shoes, this is my life now because of various factors that are going to take weeks to get rid of and nobody gives a s*** because why you remember me, I mean I saw the problem what do you need me for, would you even recognize a generational curse? Y'ALL DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT MAGIC SWORDS ARE FOR, OTHER THAN TO MAKE FUN OF FAT NERDS SCREAM LIGHTNING BOLT WITH A HYPHEN INSTEAD OF A TENNIS BALL.
r) I also have a magic wand and a black sphere that vibrates hard and fast enough to give even the most depressed and miserable woman a screaming orgasm in about 5 seconds, but I haven't had any use for it like that at all, I just got it because I thought I could put it on top of my head and shoot myself there as a way until trick. Honestly until today I had a lot of free time, now I have a lot of crying jags interest by long winded attempt to be funny again. Because this isn't funny. This is cope.
s) yeah that's funny to you. I'll allow it.
t) T: no, YOU HAD a career. Now you have a life. You'll get used to it, and then you'll complain about something and I'll call that a general person and you give me money and then you feel better. See? Bringing home the bacon already.
#7) it was forced on me by a Yakuza straight team leader because he wanted to laugh at me. It was a fair test. Obviously be weird if I was afraid of $7 worth which is all the money I have in my pocket which I gave to him and exchange for his desire to show me what he had “lots” of well I was sitting on the grass in Seattle center in one of the few places I haven't been kissed by a girl and then run off from, and while I was yammering into my nightmare rectangle about a bunch of stuff clearly indicates that I'm just an insane moron, guy just rolled it to me and asked me if I wanted “lots of clear,” wish I did not respond with, “all I want are lots of hugs,” because now all the other Yakuzai think I'm just some batshit crazy loon.
#8) THIS ENHANCES GRAPEFRUITS LEGENDARY MYSTIQUE AMONGST THE ASIAN PROLETARIAT HUNTER CLASS. IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND: YEAH SHE HAS A LOT OF ENEMIES. I DON'T THINK THEY'RE AFRAID OF ME ANYMORE. NOW I'M JUST ACTING A LOON TO DRAW FIRE AWAY FROM THE PRIMARY TARGET, THE REDEEMED A GUN FROM QUEEN OF THE WICKER HAWAIIAN PEOPLE. OR WHATEVER THE F*** THAT WOMAN'S CALLING HERSELF NOW WHEN IDENTIFYING YOURSELF TO PEOPLE THAT SHE'S ALLOWED TO TALK TO ON THE PHONE OR EVER OR IN PERSON OR AGAIN OR WHATEVER. I MIGHT NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN YOU KNOW, EXCEPT FOR A COMMANDER I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS AND I'M NOT GOING TO USE MY MAGIC SWORD OR MY MAGIC WAND TO TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND CUZ SHE'S NOT SHE'S WHATEVER THE F*** SHE IS, THAT'S NOT FOR ME TO SAY REALLY. WHY AM I BEING ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT A PERSON WHO HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS AND WAS TOLD THAT I HAD TO FORGET ABOUT AND NOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW AND I GOT TO MAKE IT UP AND SEEM LIKE AN IDIOT?
#9) (Standards.)
I was told to get a job. I was not told that it had to be an impressive one. I was also not told that the person telling me to get a job was busy raping my family. Not too relevant really but it would still have been good for context. Just saying
tl:dr; of course they rehire the librarian they don't want Melania to hire him! That would cause a librarian imbalance across the pond. Also: I don't want to compete for the best seat in the lunchroom, which would be next to the bathroom, because Crown Prince Regent William of “Someplace-Not-Wales” just made me s*** my pants.
The Divine is not to be mocked. And Grapefruit is not to be considered to be a SureThing™. EVER. BY ANYONE.
SIMILARLY I HAD TO LEAVE MY BACKPACK ACROSS THE STREET BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY I WAS USED AS A TARGET FOR A SHAKE YOUR PANTS EXPELLIARANUS GUN AND WHEN I GET OUTSIDE TO GET CLEAN UNDERWEAR FROM MY BACKPACK IT'LL PROBABLY BE GONE BECAUSE I'M IN BELLEVUE TALKING MAD S*** HIGH AS BALLS AND FOLLOWING THE LAW, BUT I GUESS POINTING EM WEAPONS AND MAKES A PERSON S*** THEIR PANTS AND TAKING THEIR STUFF IS CONSIDERED TO BE LEGAL TOO.
LIKE IF I DIDN'T SEE IT HAPPEN I CAN'T EVEN PROVE THAT I EVER HAD A BACKPACK RIGHT?
I LEFT MY CHAIR THAT I HAD BOUGHT AN HOUR BEFORE ON THE STREET IN SEATTLE AND IT WAS GONE IN THE TIME IT TOOK TO GO TO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT SHOOTING MY PANTS. IT WAS 50 BUCKS GONE AND I DON'T KNOW WHO TOOK IT I NEVER GOT IT BACK AND NOBODY GIVES A CRAP ABOUT ANYTHING I LOSE BECAUSE I CAN JUST BUY MORE RIGHT I MADE OUT OF MONEY RIGHT?
Yeah I can just make myself generate spur anytime too sorry I have a headache bye. (Copyright Magic Castle LLC.) Did I write too many words?
I should damn well hope, Sows. Peace.
