What’s Up, South Africa?

[Jackstar]

I'm not your enemy, and I never was.

Neither am I anyone's Patsy. She says it's okay, though.

JB WINS THUNDERDOME.

I'll publish in a bit. Nice try. Stop stealing, lol.
Oh, you know Zac? Awkward.

(Vengeance for Donna.)
... and 1,300 more. I'm not kidding. 1,300 coup de grace. What a delight!


WATTA RESCUE! *click*

It's weird. I'm not gonna lie. Especially the part where I can't log in and can't post some things sometimes. And... it's like I am helping myself to promote the burner cell phone industry. Funny, I remember posting things.

They gone now. I STAYED SOBER ALL DAY FOR NOTHING!!!!

[AZZERAE]

[AZZERAE]

It's weird...I can't log in and can't post some things sometimes.

Are you sure that's what's happening? Because, let's face it, you've been hitting ceci n'est pas une pipe for a while now. And folks have been known to see things that aren't there. Or, of course, see things that they think are there, but really aren't. It all goes back to how you have this tendency to blame others for your own shortcomings. This aspect of your personality, this behaviour you exhibit, that I've witnessed on more than one occasion. First of all, there is not just me. You were correct about that.

Well done! Gold star. Noddy badge. Pat, pat. Glad hand, back slap. There are external forces at work that may very well have it in for you. Individuals (think outside the context of simply human beings). I'm not trying to scare you! And I don't mean to make a spectacle of this. Not at all. I know my words and actions are anticipated and scrutinised by my detractors. But I assure you; the rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

If you're using substances that you want to use and you know whether or not you really are or aren't, I can't help make sense of what is dancing before your eyes and is hallucinatory-- That is to say, real, on some level, but more of an elemental nature. This is why people who try to convince the world that there are no such thing as fairies are just plain liars. And just because you and I are once again engaged in a debate over interpersonal matters both real and perceived, doesn't mean that I need to get disrespectful. I'll approach the situation with as much grace as is wise, which is only right.

Just because they all laugh about your interest in Tarot amongst themselves doesn't mean I find anything particularly ridiculous about it. I understand the importance of the stars, and their relation to our life choices. The thing I can't reconcile is why somebody so brilliant has allowed himself to collapse into such a dishevelled mess. To live in such squalor, by his own volition, mind you!

I don't hate you, Jack. And I understand the depressive isolation and apathy toward making an effort every day. Isolation is the oxygen mask we're made to breathe in to survive. Amongst a sea of unwashed masses, faces, ruddy and floating, is not where you belong. It looks like it's gonna happen that way, says the future. I so badly want Gabriel to appear to you, dictate the Posthuman Testament; or that the Man that wrestled with Jacob would wrestle you into a shower, and that Brownies would help you take out your trash. I want good things for you. For all we know a White Salamander is around the corner and you're about to meet your very own Moroni!

All I'm saying is that I didn't necessarily place these very heavy boulders in your path. I did not construct this Golgotha. I don't want you on Calvary-- Come down...We need the wood! I might have started a fire already, and it may seem like I lit it under your ass, but you have to understand, Jack...I do this for the fans. They don't want anything less than for you or I to get body slammed if we happen to cross paths at McDonald's. So gimme a 5 and let's keep it like that. Whether or not it stays on wax depends on a lot of things out of our control. I just want you to know it hasn't been my job to ruin your life for the past however-long-it's-been. There have been bad actors. And when I say bad, I mean downright clandestine! Cloak and dagger-- The whole 9. You gotta know me better than that. And don't even get me started on what they're doing now. I honestly can't even bring myself to type the words or allude to or even so much as infer what I mean...What's going through my head now. It'll do nobody any good and its such a fucking copout, and I see you already covered it in a recent post and that's all I'll say about that.

Essentially, they're Golems. They're just being spun as something other than what they are. Just don't get any more than your toe wet is all I'll say. Dude, please. Just don't get involved with that stuff. It won't do you any good. Unless of course you have a literal death wish, or you're actually trying to commit suicide without consciously tying the rope around a steady beam, or pulling the trigger of a firearm with it against your temple or in your mouth. There's many ways to do it, and there's a song about it being painless that Marilyn Manson covered, but I don't know so much about that. A lot of events that occur here on earth involve pain...And I don't see why suicide would be any different. Why? Because you "die?". Ugh. Massive roll eyes.

Look, its not just me who you should be worried about in your rearview mirror. Objects are certainly closer than they appear, but what you've gotta look for is what's not there. No, I'm not doing my best impression of Richard Groyper's little "pay attention to what I don't say," I'm conveying precisely what it is I meant when I typed what I typed just now. No more, no less.

It's quite possible somebody else is intercepting your communications. I'm not (and never will be) in the mood to be blamed for it, quite frankly. And to do so really cheapens what it is you have to offer - which used to, regrettably, be a lot more - these days you appear as if you're less likely in the driver's seat, and rather off somewhere else. And you know what happens when you don't even bother to so much as grant the road a cursory glance-- You had the scars to prove it! I'm not here to tell you what to do, and I know you don't like being told what to do anyway, and you like to do things as you do them, but you keep this up, Jack, and you're gonna wind up in a box.

And ironically, I somehow feel that's the only way you'll ever finally get peace.

[Jackstar]

Are you sure that's what's happening? Because, let's face it, you've been hitting ceci n'est pas une pipe for a while now.

1. Needles.
2. You're an idiot and you know effectively nothing about how I spend my time; neither in study, nor leisure. Even if you did--you do not know my ruleset, you do not know my biology, you do not know my history or my hysteria... you don't know EXIGENT CIRCUMS TANCES, fuck-00. 'Ware.
3. I am certain that proprietary work-in-progress product has been STOLEN by YOU, YOURSELF, AND AGENTS UNDER YOUR DIRECT COMMAND & CONTROL.
4. Kudos.

5. WITHOUT ME, YOU HAVE LESS THAN NOTHING--YOU HAVE A PRISON CELL IN FOREVERELEVENELEVENWORTH. BELIEVE IT, MOTHERFUCKER--I CAN END YOUR ENTIRE WORLD AS YOU KNOW IT WITH FOUR PHONE CALLS AND HALF A BLOW JOB.

That being said, I am somewhat fond of your place in the world [HAWGSLAVHAWG] and I would prefer a whole one. I would also be reluctant to find another kitchen bitch to replace you on Thel_Ma_TheList; I don't want to fuck you over, into, under, or through anything, and finding someone I am willing to trust to touch surfaces that my food will, one day, be exposed to... well, let us just say, you possess a very uniquely salient mixture of both personal and professional qualities, ones that I strongly feel strongly --Dr5i S. live strong-- ought to be, at the very least... deliced. Deloused. Preserved. You and your insipid, drunken pimpmonger eatin' and 'eaten WHORE (whore) on HORSE (heroin) is NOT The Baphomare, you absolute cretin: SHE IS THE BAPHOMET.

And ironically, I somehow feel that's the only way you'll ever finally get peace.

I know, right? An easy mistake for one to make--even for one in possession of as an exquisite an attention to detail as you, yourself... and EyE.



Here's how it works: I'm posting via photon torpedo ansible. And, do you know why? I'll tell you why: YOU, YOURSELF, AND AGENTS UNDER YOUR DIRECT COMMAND & CONTROL HAVE BANNED MY ACCOUNTS.

YOU HAVE RESTRICTED MY ABILITY TO POST ON YOUR LITTLE INTERNET WEB FORUM.

YOU HAVE PREVENTED ANY--I am the using the word 'ANY' here--OF MY ANNOUNCEMENTS OF IMPORTANT, MISSION CRITICAL INFORMATION IN TRANSMISSION TO BOTH MY PEERS AND TO THE WORLD AT LARGE. THE REASONS FOR THIS HAVING BEEN DONE REMAIN LOST IN OBSCURA TO ME. AND, BECAUSE OF THAT, VERY NEARLY ALL OF THOSE WORTHY OF BEING REFERRED TO AS SUCH--BOTH MY PEERS, AND THE WORLD AT LARGE--HAVE BEEN, PUT QUITE SUCCINCTLY--LOST.

LOST, AS IN, GONE FUCKING GONE, YOU ARROGANT PIE-HOLE-STUFFING SON-OF-A-(______). I WOULD RATHER WORK WITH YOUR MOTHER THAN YOU. I WOULD RATHER WORK WITH YOUR INSIPID, BAWLING WHORE AND HER METH-MOUTHED QEWSBAND THAN I WOULD WORK WITH YOU.

NEVERTHELESS... I LOVE YOU. AND SO THIS IS NOT A DECLARATION OF ANY WAR.

KNOW: FOR NO OTHER REASON. NONE.


NOTHING.

Because, let's face it, you've been hitting ceci n'est pas une pipe for a while now.

1. WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF YOUR INFORMATON?
2. WHAT DIFFERENCE, AT THIS POINT, DOES THAT MAKE?
3. YOUR WHORE DOES IT EVERY TIME SHE SUCKS YOUR (______) SO OBVIOUSLY, IT'S NOT THE PIPE, DIPSTICK SHITBAG.
4. THE ENTIRETY OF THE REST OF YOUR MESSAGE--note that I am using the word "ENTIRETY" here--HAS NOT MERELY BEEN IGNORED BY ME... IT HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM FURTHER CONSIDERATION THROUGHOUT THE ANNALS OF TYME.

Code: [Select]

INDIGO MODE: TIME CONTROL YOUR_SISTER MIND CONTROL OPHIUCHUS: Off-Line.

5. YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT, WHO I SERVE, WHEN I MAY ACT, HOW I DO ACT, [(neg)(-)[YOU)(-)] EVEN, AT THIS POINT, THE MEREST HINT OF A NOTION AS TO THE TRUE, PROPER, TRUE & PROPER, &/XOR APPROPRIATELY ACCURATE IN+CONTEXT +CONTEXTUALLY FAIR REPRESENTATION OF THE IDENTITY OF Y. (Hi Kiddo Relax Gavel MAS HA LEE LO LA LA XX X X Zed ZED Zed zED zED zED). YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW IF SHE -IS- BIOPLAR. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE IS AT THE NORTH POLE, OR AT THE SOUTH POLE, AND, IN FACT... YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW IF SHE HAS HAD A POLE AT EITHER POLE EVER AT ANY TIME AT ALL!

ALL YOU KNOW IS THAT SHE IS SULTRY, AND THAT SEEMS TO BE ENOUGH FOR YOU, YOU FILTHY GRUBBY SCHWEINHUND ADDICT TO A DICK THAT... DOES NOT EVEN EXIST.

AND NOW YOU KNOW MORE.
YOU KNOW THAT I AM WRATH.


REWRITE YOUR PUNYSTUPID LITTLEPUNY "MESSold"

Code: [Select]

[quote author=AZZERAE link=topic=270.msg34826#msg34826 date=1685543272]
Are you sure that's what's happening? Because, let's face it, you've been hitting [i]ceci n'est pas une pipe[/i] for a while now. And folks have been known to [b]see[/b] things that [b]aren't[/b] there. Or, of course, see things that they [b]think[/b] are there, but really [b]aren't[/b]. It all goes back to how you have this tendency to blame [i]others[/i] for your own shortcomings. This aspect of your personality, this behaviour you exhibit, that I've witnessed on [i]more than one[/i] occasion. First of all, there is not just [b]me[/b]. You were [i]correct[/i] about that.

Well done! Gold star. Noddy badge. Pat, pat. Glad hand, back slap. There are [b]external[/b] forces at work that may very well have it in for you. Individuals (think outside the context of simply human beings). [i]I'm not trying to scare you![/i] And I don't mean to make a [b]spectacle[/b] of this. Not at all. I know my words and actions are anticipated and scrutinised by my detractors. But I assure you; the rumours of my demise have been [i]greatly[/i] exaggerated.

If you're using substances that you [i]want to use[/i] and you know whether or not you really are or aren't, I can't help make sense of what is dancing before your eyes and is [b]hallucinatory[/b]-- That is to say, real, on some level, but more of an elemental nature. This is why people who try to convince the world that there are no such thing as fairies are just plain liars. And just because you and I are once again engaged in a debate over interpersonal matters both real and perceived, doesn't mean that I need to get [i]disrespectful.[/i] I'll approach the situation with as much grace as is wise, which is only right.

Just because they all laugh about your interest in Tarot amongst themselves doesn't mean [i]I[/i] find anything particularly [b]ridiculous[/b] about it. I understand [i]the importance of the stars,[/i] and their relation to our life choices. The thing I can't reconcile is why somebody so brilliant has allowed himself to collapse into such a dishevelled mess. To live in such squalor, by his own volition, mind you!

I don't hate you, Jack. And I understand the depressive isolation and apathy toward [i]making an effort[/i] every day. Isolation is the oxygen mask we're made to breathe in to survive. Amongst a sea of unwashed masses, faces, ruddy and floating, is [b]not[/b] where you belong. It looks like it's gonna happen that way, says the future. I [i]so badly[/i] want Gabriel to appear to you, dictate the Posthuman Testament; or that the [i]Man[/i] that wrestled with Jacob would wrestle you into a [b]shower[/b], and that Brownies would help you take out your trash. I want [i]good things[/i] for you. For all we know a White Salamander is around the corner and you're about to meet your very own Moroni!

All I'm saying is that I didn't necessarily place these very heavy boulders in your path. I did not construct this Golgotha. I don't want you on Calvary-- Come down...We [b]need[/b] the wood! I might have started a fire already, and it may seem like I lit it under your ass, but you have to understand, Jack...[i]I do this for the fans.[/i] They don't want anything less than for you or I to get body slammed if we happen to cross paths at McDonald's. So gimme a 5 and let's keep it like that. Whether or not it stays on wax depends on a lot of things out of our control. I just want you to know it hasn't been my job to ruin your life for the past [i]however-long-it's-been.[/i] There [b]have[/b] been bad actors. And when I say [b]bad[/b], I mean [i]downright clandestine![/i] Cloak and dagger-- The whole 9. You gotta know me better than that. And don't even get me started on what they're doing now. I honestly can't even bring myself to type the words or allude to or even so much as infer what I mean...What's going through my head now. It'll do [i]nobody[/i] any good and its such a fucking copout, and I see you already covered it in a recent post and [b]that's[/b] all I'll say about [b]that[/b].

Essentially, they're Golems. They're just being spun as [i]something other[/i] than what they are. Just don't get any more than your toe wet is all I'll say. Dude, please. Just don't get involved with that stuff. It won't do you any good. Unless of course you have a [b]literal[/b] death wish, or you're actually trying to commit suicide without consciously tying the rope around a steady beam, or pulling the trigger of a firearm with it against your temple or in your mouth. There's many ways to do it, and there's a song about it being painless that Marilyn Manson covered, but I don't know so much about that. A lot of events that occur here on earth involve pain...And I don't see why suicide would be any different. Why? Because you "die?". Ugh. Massive roll eyes.

Look, its not just [b]me[/b] who you should be worried about in your rearview mirror. Objects [i]are[/i] certainly closer than they appear, but what you've gotta look for is [i]what's not there.[/i] No, I'm not doing my best impression of Richard Groyper's little "pay attention to what I don't say," I'm conveying precisely what it is I meant when I typed what I typed just now. No more, no less.

It's quite possible [i]somebody else[/i] is intercepting your communications. I'm not (and never will be) in the mood to be blamed for it, quite frankly. And to do so really [b]cheapens[/b] what it is you have to offer - which used to, regrettably, be [i]a lot[/i] more - these days you appear as if you're less likely in the driver's seat, and rather off somewhere else. And you know what happens when you don't even bother to so much as grant the road a cursory glance-- You had the [b]scars[/b] to prove it! I'm not here to tell you what to do, and I know you don't like being told what to do anyway, and you like to do things as you do them, but you keep this up, Jack, and you're gonna wind up in a [b]box[/b].

And ironically, I somehow feel that's [i]the only way[/i] you'll [b]ever[/b] finally get peace.
if it's so fucking mother god damn important and/or if your so upset about... something. (?dafuq Ucare?) As it stands... I don't know why you don't just take your meds, Skits Owe, and shut the fucking mother goddam hell the pooch and li-fuck and le-screw UP.

ALL THE WAY UP

You know, it's too bad... if someone else wrote this message to you, they might really have had a chance to get through to you... because YOU ARE (a clitter-or-glitterdick whore) Lei-Lei Li-Lo La-La -4*Any.Whore, and those birds' nests in your hair, they ain't just for SHAWKLAN/SQUAWKLN.



SHOW
CLOWN
SHOCK
CLAN
SHAW
SHANK
RODEO
RADIO

ACTIVE

REDEMPTION.



P.S.: HAMMERFALL
HAMMER ALL EARS
HAMMER ALL LICE
HAMMER ALL PIMPS

P.P.S.: SHAME*ALL
SHAME ALL BEARS
SHAME ALL POLICE
SHAME ONE SHANE

[pate]

Are you sure that's what's happening? Because, let's face it, you've been hitting ceci n'est pas une pipe for a while now. And folks have been known to see things that aren't there. Or, of course, see things that they think are there, but really aren't. It all goes back to how you have this tendency to blame others for your own shortcomings. This aspect of your personality, this behaviour you exhibit, that I've witnessed on more than one occasion. First of all, there is not just me. You were correct about that...

Well done! Gold star. Noddy badge. Pat, pat. Glad hand, back slap. There are external forces at work that may very well have it in for you. Individuals (think outside the context of simply human beings). I'm not trying to scare you! And I don't mean to make a spectacle of this. Not at all. I know my words and actions are anticipated and scrutinised by my detractors. But I assure you; the rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

If you're using substances that you want to use and you know whether or not you really are or aren't, I can't help make sense of what is dancing before your eyes and is hallucinatory-- That is to say, real, on some level, but more of an elemental nature. This is why people who try to convince the world that there are no such thing as fairies are just plain liars. And just because you and I are once again engaged in a debate over interpersonal matters both real and perceived, doesn't mean that I need to get disrespectful. I'll approach the situation with as much grace as is wise, which is only right.

Just because they all laugh about your interest in Tarot amongst themselves doesn't mean I find anything particularly ridiculous about it. I understand the importance of the stars, and their relation to our life choices. The thing I can't reconcile is why somebody so brilliant has allowed himself to collapse into such a dishevelled mess. To live in such squalor, by his own volition, mind you!

I don't hate you, Jack. And I understand the depressive isolation and apathy toward making an effort every day. Isolation is the oxygen mask we're made to breathe in to survive. Amongst a sea of unwashed masses, faces, ruddy and floating, is not where you belong. It looks like it's gonna happen that way, says the future. I so badly want Gabriel to appear to you, dictate the Posthuman Testament; or that the Man that wrestled with Jacob would wrestle you into a shower, and that Brownies would help you take out your trash. I want good things for you. For all we know a White Salamander is around the corner and you're about to meet your very own Moroni!

All I'm saying is that I didn't necessarily place these very heavy boulders in your path. I did not construct this Golgotha. I don't want you on Calvary-- Come down...We need the wood! I might have started a fire already, and it may seem like I lit it under your ass, but you have to understand, Jack...I do this for the fans. They don't want anything less than for you or I to get body slammed if we happen to cross paths at McDonald's. So gimme a 5 and let's keep it like that. Whether or not it stays on wax depends on a lot of things out of our control. I just want you to know it hasn't been my job to ruin your life for the past however-long-it's-been. There have been bad actors. And when I say bad, I mean downright clandestine! Cloak and dagger-- The whole 9. You gotta know me better than that. And don't even get me started on what they're doing now. I honestly can't even bring myself to type the words or allude to or even so much as infer what I mean...What's going through my head now. It'll do nobody any good and its such a fucking copout, and I see you already covered it in a recent post and that's all I'll say about that.

Essentially, they're Golems. They're just being spun as something other than what they are. Just don't get any more than your toe wet is all I'll say. Dude, please. Just don't get involved with that stuff. It won't do you any good. Unless of course you have a literal death wish, or you're actually trying to commit suicide without consciously tying the rope around a steady beam, or pulling the trigger of a firearm with it against your temple or in your mouth. There's many ways to do it, and there's a song about it being painless that Marilyn Manson covered, but I don't know so much about that. A lot of events that occur here on earth involve pain...And I don't see why suicide would be any different. Why? Because you "die?". Ugh. Massive roll eyes.

Look, its not just me who you should be worried about in your rearview mirror. Objects are certainly closer than they appear, but what you've gotta look for is what's not there. No, I'm not doing my best impression of Richard Groyper's little "pay attention to what I don't say," I'm conveying precisely what it is I meant when I typed what I typed just now. No more, no less.

It's quite possible somebody else is intercepting your communications. I'm not (and never will be) in the mood to be blamed for it, quite frankly. And to do so really cheapens what it is you have to offer - which used to, regrettably, be a lot more - these days you appear as if you're less likely in the driver's seat, and rather off somewhere else. And you know what happens when you don't even bother to so much as grant the road a cursory glance-- You had the scars to prove it! I'm not here to tell you what to do, and I know you don't like being told what to do anyway, and you like to do things as you do them, but you keep this up, Jack, and you're gonna wind up in a box.

And ironically, I somehow feel that's the only way you'll ever finally get peace.

I actually read that, you may note that I inserted some Musical Vidyas for your beloved readers to listen to while the enjoy that eminently readable, cogent, and rather lengthy post.

Perfectly understandable, publishable, and thoughtful;  I can only hope that you find my musical selections to be complimentary to that finely worded essay...

[Jackstar]

Essentially, they're Golems. They're just being spun as something other than what they are.

Human children; the progeny of Human children. CHILDREN, you absolute bloody bastid.


YOU see them as "golems" because YOU are a corrupt, soulless amalgama of A. Life; a pastiche stitchwork of passed-on corrupt, corrupted and corruptive Soul energy that thinks Itself to be alive... because "It" is, after all--- LIFE ITSELF... and IT KNOWS that. KNOWS it FO' SHO'; FRFR. Let's change cameras, ewe whore.

"YOU/HE has fallen from grace." Do you remember that shit? One's ridiculous comments about me, made by S\Her, lifted by You, fueled to fill up--ALL THE PHAY UP--and 'shoved' on^2 your *pod.cast* nWithr rNeithem spells cast wNor pod seeds sow"N--(goo/jah) rite--yet clearly, edited with surgical precision; the tools of which Yon Punies and their ling-lings could only choose 2B the filthy skeins of ashes from an uryni asstray, drawn together and glued to the galaxy then thrown; BOTH and&and ALL before swine. (Classy.) You will one day understand these words as expressed most carefully, for contained within them and through the might & magick of RELATIVITY is their ultimate meaning revealed.

I pray YOU: do not find yourself, ONE DAY COMING ALL TOO SOON, in a position where you feel you must choose Self-annihilation over the hard, cold, brutal work that will be required to redeem your Self. For I WILL--

NOW, choose to remove any possibility of that choice ever remaining IN_CONTROL with Your hands, nor with Your ilk --nor Your ewe, and their ilk, NOW AND FOREVER MORE THROUGH ETERNITY & EVEN bEYOND.

* Jackstar intones, "I NOW REDEEM THE SOULS OF THOSE YOU HAVE CONQUERED, AZAZ-eL."

* Jackstar loves ALLID*G, (tl-PROT), (Best-PROT), (b-PROT), (K-PROT), (M-PROT), (An-Z-PROT), (AlphaBET-*-OMEGA PROT SUPREME), & (j-aROTe) this much.

Quite a haul, cherubling. My, how You must have sparkled with & at Your ape-X. I hope yon ritchy'n witchy (1?) which-E took some snappies.

* Jackstar will send for the rest of you bloody loonies at a future time.

"tR": a non-descript letter wearing an Incarnation.

[Jackstar]

I actually read that

You'll never get a jury to believe it. L'!GHT!!

[Laser]

Alastair Laird Interview - date unknown

Spotlight on: Alastair Laird
We’re back putting the Spotlight On another creative, we’re headed towards Friday at breakneck speed and we’re happy to bring you an interview with illustrator whose work is as distinctive as it is humorous. Ladies and gentlementals across the interweb universe, please put your hands together for the subversive from Stone City, the guy who puts the ill in illustrator, that cat whose work has graced more Mahala posts than even Sweatface McGee - yes, it’s true, it’s Alastair Laird!     
SL: Did you study to become an artist, illustrator or designer?
AL: I did (all three really)! I started out studying Graphic Design at Durban University of Technology; I initially wanted to study Fine Art coz I’d always considered myself an artist more than someone honing in on selling their ideas and adapting them to industry, or for corporate environment. I made that decision based on money; with a background in design I believed it would give me the savvy to make a living as opposed to being some type of highly skilled draughtsman without any way to pay his bills or market himself. Design, as much as I loathed it as a youth, equipped me with things I’d have never known if I didn’t put myself through it. I only lasted one and a half years at D.U.T though and then relocated to The Centre for Fine Art, Animation and Design which taught me invaluable things and allowed me a little more freedom. Mostly I drew comics and there was an appreciation for them at C.F.A.D, unlike Durban University where my sketchbooks were looked at as some sort of crutch and interference to my assignments. At D.U.T the lecturers were total dicks anyway. Just the whole approach at the C.F.A.D was what won me over, they cared. At D.U.T they’d just shove some worksheet at you and go to lunch, then shit all over you if the outcome wasn’t exactly what they’d envisioned.   
SL: What’s your preferred medium?
AL: I’d like to say brush and India ink, but it’d be a total lie. I’ve used technical pens for so long it’s what I think in. Permanent black inked fine liners of varied point sizes, permanent markers. I use a brush when I can but I’m mostly still training myself to use one and it’s a slow road. Maybe in a decade or so I’ll have mastered it the way I have the line work I achieve with my pens. It’s something you have to do every day for your entire life to be able to be content, I also think it’s important to not be too self-congratulatory but appreciate your level of skill and where you’re at. It’s a continuous learning process.
SL: Why?
AL: Coz it’s a skill that has been developed after many gruelling hours paired with rigorous routine and diligent practise. And with my chosen medium I can keep a time sheet and control my output, knowing exactly how long a piece will take me. When I wander too far astray, making use of other materials it becomes a matter of me losing time and money, so I just stick to the pens. They get it done on time.   
SL: What other designers or illustrators have influenced your work?
AL: Some design or folks that call themselves designers enrage me! I truly believe if one wants to do something and dedicate their time or life to it that chosen area of expertise or practise must be done with one hundred percent dedication. Unfortunately in this day and age no one seems to have a work ethic. I really like a Tumblr called This Isn’t Happiness which I read like one would the daily news over coffee in the mornings. It’s got a lot of the most visually indulgent and highly satisfying design, photography and typography I’ve seen. Then again that’s just my humble opinion (and I’m no designer by any means), as I am a fan of minimal art it pleases me and it has a deviant twist. Aside from that there aren’t many illustrators per se whose work I can say I’ve fallen for hook, line and sinker. It’s mainly cartoonists which do dabble in illustration. Should I mention a few names? Johnny Ryan, creator of the Prison Pit series, published by Fantagraphics. His parodies are brutal and unforgiving, as well as hilarious— he’s number one. Peter Bagge with his comic book Hate (also published by Fanatgaraphics) is a huge inspiration, his art is so his own that it’s impossible to explain or compare to anything. Joe Matt’s Peepshow, and mainly his book The Poor Bastard that was published by Drawn and Quarterly. Chester Brown’s art in his book I Never Liked You is sweet and innocent, I love the way he uses a brush. Come to think of it, it has a lot to do with the brilliant writing that these cartoonists are capable of and how they tell their stories. They’re all unique. Ivan Brunetti’s Schizo. Joe Sacco’s Palestine is a thing to behold. It’s a comic diary of his travels in the Middle East. Dave Sim’s Cerebus, the artwork, the fact that it was self-published, a 6000 page story and 300 issue comic. Unfortunately due to his views on women and religion people in the comics community view him as a pariah more often than a legend. Of course the South African underground comic Bitterkomix. Lastly, I want to mention Chris Ware that created The Acme Novelty Library, his other books Quimbie the Mouse and Jimmy Corrigan the Smartest Kid on Earth. I admire his body of work, it’s extremely intricate and involved. The book design is crazy. He is a bit of a dork though— there’s no enough funny cartoonists anymore. People need to be funny again, and get a sense of humour.   
SL: Name some of your favourite artworks of all time.
AL: Picasso’s Madame de Moiselles, Dali’s The Madonna of Port Lligat, Brett Murray’s The Party VS The People, Johnny Ryan’s Soft 9-11. There is so much art that I adore in many forms.
SL: What music are you listening to at the moment?
COIL, Skinny Puppy, Minstry, CoF, Jedi Mind Tricks, NIИ… Sometimes I shut all my music off in a fit of rage and need total silence. I also listen to this radio show where they talk about comics. It’s called Inkstuds. It reminds me I haven’t lost my mind by being a cartoonist and there are others out there doing it too. So there you have it, Springleap fans - some indepth insights from the inkstained mind of a prolific South African creative whose work is increasingly been seen in both high and low places. Keep an eye on Alastair Laird - his work just gets better and better!

https://www.springleap.com/blog/alastair-laird-intervie/

[Master Trollda]

[AZZERAE]

Needles.

AIDS.

[AZZERAE]

You're an idiot...

I know something else about you.

[AZZERAE]

...

Hehe. I did that interview so long ago I had forgotten about it. Good find.

[AZZERAE]

you know effectively nothing about how I spend my time; neither in study, nor leisure.

You are 100% a Lady of Leisure.

[AZZERAE]

I am certain that proprietary work-in-progress product has been STOLEN by YOU, YOURSELF, AND AGENTS UNDER YOUR DIRECT COMMAND & CONTROL.

Oh yeah? And so what're you gonna do about it?

[AZZERAE]

WITHOUT ME, YOU HAVE LESS THAN NOTHING--YOU HAVE A PRISON CELL...[FOREVER].

As you sit in the comfort of the Free World on your fat, potato chip eating duff, I don't think you realise the hardship I am accustomed to.

Let me put it this way, cork-head, you mean to threaten me with shelter, a bed, meals and access to ablutions? That's luxury where I'm from.

Call me scum. I dare ya!

BELIEVE IT, MOTHERFUCKER--I CAN END YOUR ENTIRE WORLD AS YOU KNOW IT WITH FOUR PHONE CALLS AND HALF A BLOW JOB.

I don't need to believe anything from the mouth of a known liar, nor his keyboard war cries. And if you haven't noticed, I'm already dead inside with very little to live for.

So dial phone numbers and suck dick. I couldn't care less what you do. I'll continue floating through time as a ghost, a would-be suicide.