Kuczi [...] kilted swine
Hey!

Look, Pal: The Bacon Bubbler has left the building. Probably out looking for more truffles. You're out of the loop here.
Damn the false fellow to Tartarus. Or beyond.
I'm going to write to The Supreme Grand Lodge Master, and see what I can do about changing your local secret handshake into a swift kick in the balls. Don't bother appealing, this decision will be plenary, so just start reinforcing your collection of decorative codpieces into something
actually practical.
Also, a vote was taken while you were gone and you'll need to tithe now. I was thinking it should have been crypto only to be accepted, but in your case, I think we can handle your customary bag of pennies.