COVID-19

[Jackstar]

I tried calling the police but they've stopped taking my calls, the bastards!

You know, that's odd: for me, they get right through.

consistent with your narcissistic personality disorder where everything relates to you and you think you can control it because it emanates from your consciousness.

Is this your medical diagnosis, or your police report? In either case, it was not necessary to be a clairvoyant to know what your response would be. I don't need to have jack or shit to do with you, and I was simply demonstrating that for The Narrative.

I don't really understand your attitude. You act like I kicked your puppy or shit on your petunias. You are a boor. I understand, now, since you all explained so well, that there are certain conflicts that prohibit certain social linkages from developing. You know, I get that, I really do. Last year, I did not know you knew both my friends and thus, to meet you in person would be thoroughly awkward.

I didn't know they knew each other, you, anything. Also: I didn't care about that, because I didn't know about that.

So to castigate me with a series of patently absurd and non-factual references to a personality disorder I don't have, or, an arrogant condescending tone that I do not convey in reality...  look, you're not stupid, you're simply disingenuous and were under the impression I needed to be dissuaded from yet another lengthy drop of writing. You could have just simply been polite and, dare I say, earnest.

I do not know who you are. I have not tried to penetrate anyone's mysteries here. I have no idea why anyone thought I knew you were, I don't know why any of you take anything as serious as you do, and I also have no idea why you seem to think that I require a negatively prejudicial attitude. It's frankly disturbing considering what happened to your friend, and that your thoughtless attempt at ad hominem all over me was so over-the-top that I can only assume that you thought that was the best way to answer my challenge.

Well, perhaps it was a test. Whatever. In point of fact I don't wish to even be in WA. I would leave. However, I cannot. I also cannot stand your smarmy hipster bullshit. You clearly have a very highly personal issue with me. Aww, shucks. I have no idea what it is, and I see no interest for me in pursuing the answers to the floor.

You clearly do not perceive what is going on here, or to the extent that which you do, you aren't seeing what attitude your actual *strong belief* has left behind in its wake. If there is a reason you have made me an enemy of you, I don't know it. If I am to interpret your words in their most basic, surface fashion, you laughed at me, and you thought I wanted to be taken seriously.

No. Dude. I could give a fuck. All of all y'all have had ample time to move in that direction. Well over two years ago. Yeah? And? So? The subtext here is: I was tryna be nice. Hell's bells, I still am.




Because some shitbag made a substantial number of bold, declarative statements about me in a recent police matter, there were those who wondered at the accuracy of the claims. Long story short, I have been, and am being checked. I'm kinda happy to continue to do it for as long as it takes, as I am meeting a great deal of interesting people I wouldn't have met any other way. I can say that much for Christmas Even Steven: it was nice to get out of the house and come to my senses in the snow, 3 days later.

Whereupon I was immediately set upon by UC semi-Pro Feds and assorted lackeys. Not that I mean to sound all boasty, but it's awfully nice to not just know and be certain that I am in control of myself. Especially in the face of lots of wildly misplaced criticisms from what amounts to crisis actors reading fake news. For example: "Jackstar's a needle junkie."

Well, I've just been sitting surrounded by them for months, and, they haven't been used. And, as I have been under monitored surveillance the whole time, there exists a legitimate Narrative. Somewhere. And in that Narrative, you have shown yourself to be, like, a serious douchebag. Like, what is your damage? From me? Stop: don't care now.

If you had known you might be saved for posterity in some stupid emotional context, I doubt it would have changed your hostile response to me, which, on the whole, I feel came across as -out-of-place-. Now, let's see, what might that be all about?

As I literally have no idea, I thought you might be able to let me know? Oh, boot to the head. I'll be moving on to other parts of our shared world together, and if you were under the impression that was my best pitch attempt to make you my new best friend, you would really have to beata tune to keep up.

And now, since Local Constabulary OverWatch is cognizant of my current profile and rate of social decline, more than ample home masterpiece theatre independent video streams do in fact exist. Surprised? I can't imagine how this shit isn't the most fascinating story around. Although, if you don't know what's going on that world I would imagine you wouldn't care to discover in an area you had declared a personal beef zone. lol. What you got going on must be fascinating, to be sure, and of course, you already -know- I'm going to come out with something that will waste everyone's time, and thus diminish it's impact.

That's the point. I've already moved away from using the forum as a go-to spot, and unbeknownst to any bystandres whatsoever, I've been putting on a much more pleasant display for everyone.

For example, once I was no longer being deliberately poisoned, my mood was instantly improved. #1) I was right. #2) Now I can stop. #3) Deliberately falsified records were created that made me look like a raving lunatic... and I helped this along, quite intentionally.

#4) And. You. All. Bought. It.

#5) I have been working a plan for my own purposes that relied on the Court believing that I was in a hurry to get closer to Grapefruit. In point of fact, I really would be fine if I never saw her again. It's not up to me. She hangs around with a bunch of shithead assholes, unknown if they're anything like you, but let's say they are: you and your shithead asshole fuckheaded friends got her in way, way more depth of scope than was, strictly speaking, necessary.

And, well, thank your for that. Whatever she is doing now, I have no desire to get into it, or to get anywhere near her any time before the Court relieves itself. That's why, when I had four months to go with no way to skip the line, I immediately started unravelling all sorts of glorious stories.

You may not get how this works. There's an effort going about, to make me look bad. You don't get totell me aI"m paranoid and dismiss me, there's an actual conspiracy. Just think of it! Me! I could have just been asked to leave.

However, the difference in the before and after with the whole "deliberate poison" is massive. I am pleased that there was so much obviously instigatory behavior, as it stands in sharp contrast to how a normal polite person can handle things.

Remember: I don't need to dialogue with you. I never did. You're going to find a lengthy post elsewhere on the forum made out to a swan named Pignon. I'm not going to give a shit if you read it or not, as by now the writing has moved to object oriented milestone goalkeeping.

I don't actually wish to keep at it here at all. See? You don't care. But now you know, I'm here and I'm okay with not being heree, and I'm okay with you going her witho ume

Listen, this will all make more sense to you when you yourself have an intimate partner who runs off to police without you and signs herself up for a 3 year tour of duty to formally investigated. Not that I am complaining about this at all, but it would seem as though you forgot what happened.

I ran the gauntlet, and now I am finishing up. I did not expect to see you add your vitriol to the record, and in fact, I did not know yo had any of that. I won't be following up with you on that, although if you did, say, follow up with me, I would probably be a little polite.

You probably think you were being nice to me by informing me of my loathsome behaviors in thinking that I can control the delusions of the world. Okay, well, I don't really know what that has to do with anything, since I don't feel that way.


Welcome back! By the way, it's obvious you think I was working with her. I wasn't. I had her ass sent back to base 3 or 4 times. Sorry that didn't work out so well for you. I don't know why you had any involvement... didn't you say your world and mine do not coincide?

I am okay with that, and I don't care what any of you did, as it has all worked out so well for all of us, and particularly for most of you.


(I was instructed/requested to abandon this community. I think I'm right there at the exit. I've produced enough narrative, I've seen how behaviors are selected due to peer pressure, and I've seen a delightful sampling of toddler behavior just today! But what I chose to do was wait until there was a four month window, and then, open the floodgates. So I did.

The amount of information I have not published anywhere would fill volumes. I am delighted to report that I am not here to fill volumes. I made sure I didn't lose track of my house. That's nice. I like having a house. Merry Christmas!!)


I am glad for what I was able to bring you to teach yourselves.

[Robert Mugabe]

You know, that's odd: for me, they get right through.


Is this your medical diagnosis, or your police report? In either case, it was not necessary to be a clairvoyant to know what your response would be. I don't need to have jack or shit to do with you, and I was simply demonstrating that for The Narrative.

I don't really understand your attitude. You act like I kicked your puppy or shit on your petunias. You are a boor. I understand, now, since you all explained so well, that there are certain conflicts that prohibit certain social linkages from developing. You know, I get that, I really do. Last year, I did not know you knew both my friends and thus, to meet you in person would be thoroughly awkward.

I didn't know they knew each other, you, anything. Also: I didn't care about that, because I didn't know about that.

So to castigate me with a series of patently absurd and non-factual references to a personality disorder I don't have, or, an arrogant condescending tone that I do not convey in reality...  look, you're not stupid, you're simply disingenuous and were under the impression I needed to be dissuaded from yet another lengthy drop of writing. You could have just simply been polite and, dare I say, earnest.

I do not know who you are. I have not tried to penetrate anyone's mysteries here. I have no idea why anyone thought I knew you were, I don't know why any of you take anything as serious as you do, and I also have no idea why you seem to think that I require a negatively prejudicial attitude. It's frankly disturbing considering what happened to your friend, and that your thoughtless attempt at ad hominem all over me was so over-the-top that I can only assume that you thought that was the best way to answer my challenge.

Well, perhaps it was a test. Whatever. In point of fact I don't wish to even be in WA. I would leave. However, I cannot. I also cannot stand your smarmy hipster bullshit. You clearly have a very highly personal issue with me. Aww, shucks. I have no idea what it is, and I see no interest for me in pursuing the answers to the floor.

You clearly do not perceive what is going on here, or to the extent that which you do, you aren't seeing what attitude your actual *strong belief* has left behind in its wake. If there is a reason you have made me an enemy of you, I don't know it. If I am to interpret your words in their most basic, surface fashion, you laughed at me, and you thought I wanted to be taken seriously.

No. Dude. I could give a fuck. All of all y'all have had ample time to move in that direction. Well over two years ago. Yeah? And? So? The subtext here is: I was tryna be nice. Hell's bells, I still am.




Because some shitbag made a substantial number of bold, declarative statements about me in a recent police matter, there were those who wondered at the accuracy of the claims. Long story short, I have been, and am being checked. I'm kinda happy to continue to do it for as long as it takes, as I am meeting a great deal of interesting people I wouldn't have met any other way. I can say that much for Christmas Even Steven: it was nice to get out of the house and come to my senses in the snow, 3 days later.

Whereupon I was immediately set upon by UC semi-Pro Feds and assorted lackeys. Not that I mean to sound all boasty, but it's awfully nice to not just know and be certain that I am in control of myself. Especially in the face of lots of wildly misplaced criticisms from what amounts to crisis actors reading fake news. For example: "Jackstar's a needle junkie."

Well, I've just been sitting surrounded by them for months, and, they haven't been used. And, as I have been under monitored surveillance the whole time, there exists a legitimate Narrative. Somewhere. And in that Narrative, you have shown yourself to be, like, a serious douchebag. Like, what is your damage? From me? Stop: don't care now.

If you had known you might be saved for posterity in some stupid emotional context, I doubt it would have changed your hostile response to me, which, on the whole, I feel came across as -out-of-place-. Now, let's see, what might that be all about?

As I literally have no idea, I thought you might be able to let me know? Oh, boot to the head. I'll be moving on to other parts of our shared world together, and if you were under the impression that was my best pitch attempt to make you my new best friend, you would really have to beata tune to keep up.

And now, since Local Constabulary OverWatch is cognizant of my current profile and rate of social decline, more than ample home masterpiece theatre independent video streams do in fact exist. Surprised? I can't imagine how this shit isn't the most fascinating story around. Although, if you don't know what's going on that world I would imagine you wouldn't care to discover in an area you had declared a personal beef zone. lol. What you got going on must be fascinating, to be sure, and of course, you already -know- I'm going to come out with something that will waste everyone's time, and thus diminish it's impact.

That's the point. I've already moved away from using the forum as a go-to spot, and unbeknownst to any bystandres whatsoever, I've been putting on a much more pleasant display for everyone.

For example, once I was no longer being deliberately poisoned, my mood was instantly improved. #1) I was right. #2) Now I can stop. #3) Deliberately falsified records were created that made me look like a raving lunatic... and I helped this along, quite intentionally.

#4) And. You. All. Bought. It.

#5) I have been working a plan for my own purposes that relied on the Court believing that I was in a hurry to get closer to Grapefruit. In point of fact, I really would be fine if I never saw her again. It's not up to me. She hangs around with a bunch of shithead assholes, unknown if they're anything like you, but let's say they are: you and your shithead asshole fuckheaded friends got her in way, way more depth of scope than was, strictly speaking, necessary.

And, well, thank your for that. Whatever she is doing now, I have no desire to get into it, or to get anywhere near her any time before the Court relieves itself. That's why, when I had four months to go with no way to skip the line, I immediately started unravelling all sorts of glorious stories.

You may not get how this works. There's an effort going about, to make me look bad. You don't get totell me aI"m paranoid and dismiss me, there's an actual conspiracy. Just think of it! Me! I could have just been asked to leave.

However, the difference in the before and after with the whole "deliberate poison" is massive. I am pleased that there was so much obviously instigatory behavior, as it stands in sharp contrast to how a normal polite person can handle things.

Remember: I don't need to dialogue with you. I never did. You're going to find a lengthy post elsewhere on the forum made out to a swan named Pignon. I'm not going to give a shit if you read it or not, as by now the writing has moved to object oriented milestone goalkeeping.

I don't actually wish to keep at it here at all. See? You don't care. But now you know, I'm here and I'm okay with not being heree, and I'm okay with you going her witho ume

Listen, this will all make more sense to you when you yourself have an intimate partner who runs off to police without you and signs herself up for a 3 year tour of duty to formally investigated. Not that I am complaining about this at all, but it would seem as though you forgot what happened.

I ran the gauntlet, and now I am finishing up. I did not expect to see you add your vitriol to the record, and in fact, I did not know yo had any of that. I won't be following up with you on that, although if you did, say, follow up with me, I would probably be a little polite.

You probably think you were being nice to me by informing me of my loathsome behaviors in thinking that I can control the delusions of the world. Okay, well, I don't really know what that has to do with anything, since I don't feel that way.


Welcome back! By the way, it's obvious you think I was working with her. I wasn't. I had her ass sent back to base 3 or 4 times. Sorry that didn't work out so well for you. I don't know why you had any involvement... didn't you say your world and mine do not coincide?

I am okay with that, and I don't care what any of you did, as it has all worked out so well for all of us, and particularly for most of you.


(I was instructed/requested to abandon this community. I think I'm right there at the exit. I've produced enough narrative, I've seen how behaviors are selected due to peer pressure, and I've seen a delightful sampling of toddler behavior just today! But what I chose to do was wait until there was a four month window, and then, open the floodgates. So I did.

The amount of information I have not published anywhere would fill volumes. I am delighted to report that I am not here to fill volumes. I made sure I didn't lose track of my house. That's nice. I like having a house. Merry Christmas!!)


I am glad for what I was able to bring you to teach yourselves.

Do you have a speech-to-text thingy for all this logorrhoea? Or are you tapping all this out with your two, pudgy, feculent fingers?

[K_Dubb]

I can see the whole disgusting, sybaritic nightmare all too clearly, Turkish slippers, hookah and all. I tried calling the police but they've stopped taking my calls, the bastards!

They're so much good music I haven't heard yet that I don't feel the need to waste my time on a commie stooge like Glazunov.

Omg the slippers!  Thank you, dear; I forgot them and am sitting here smoking barefoot like a common beggar.

Glazunov is a commie stooge but you countenance Shostakovich?  Curious.

[K_Dubb]

Do you have a speech-to-text thingy for all this logorrhoea? Or are you tapping all this out with your two, pudgy, feculent fingers?

Ya he is mostly using that and probably goes back and edits a little idk I never used one but I seen him on video doing regular motormouth, persistent logorrhea ain’t in it

[Robert Mugabe]

Omg the slippers!  Thank you, dear; I forgot them and am sitting here smoking barefoot like a common beggar.

Glazunov is a commie stooge but you countenance Shostakovich?  Curious.

Look up 'Testament', it's more complicated than you seem to think. I'm not a big fan of DSCH, but I've listened to a bit more recently. I still think Mahler did it better but Dmitri has lots of great moments. When it comes to Russians it's always been Mussorgsky FTW.

[Robert Mugabe]

Ya he is mostly using that and probably goes back and edits a little idk I never used one but I seen him on video doing regular motormouth, persistent logorrhea ain’t in it

Since he was kicked out by that tranny bricklayer he's rather gone downhill. He's also turned against you. Were you trying to distract his attention in order to sneek a peek up his kilt?

[K_Dubb]

Is this your medical diagnosis, or your police report?

👆not my diagnosis, but it is somebody’s.  I told you I am not at war with you, you may happily go on raving about the place for all I care, in a sort of “My Descent Into Narcissism” way.  We don’t shame people for mental illness here, it adds color.  My replies to you don’t reinforce your reality, you shouldn’t take that personally and rage at me for not conforming, I don’t rage at Shreddie or MDMD when they dismantle the pretenses I set up, that’s kind of what we do.  As humans, reality is a mutually agreed-upon construction and if that construction sends you spiraling out in protest feeling rejected, well, that is because you are a narcissist whose reality centers somewhere in his bellybutton.

I think narcissists get a bad rap in the pop-psy world where stupid people are invited to take quizzes to find out whether their spouse/boss/mother-in-law is one of those dangerous all-powerful frightening ogres (spoiler alert:  they always are) and the insights your posts offer are a valuable corrective, since you are none of those things.  Maybe you can found a narcissist-awareness mental-health group and design a flag and hold marches reminding people that you exist and aren’t scary.

[K_Dubb]

Look up 'Testament', it's more complicated than you seem to think. I'm not a big fan of DSCH, but I've listened to a bit more recently. I still think Mahler did it better but Dmitri has lots of great moments. When it comes to Russians it's always been Mussorgsky FTW.

I don’t like Mahler all that much, either; too histrionic and personal for my taste.  If you have to understand somebody’s biography or read their manifesto it’s just ranting, however beautiful.  They exist largely as personality cults.  I like Shostakovich’s ballets and film scores, though, when he raises his gaze from his navel for a moment.

[K_Dubb]

Since he was kicked out by that tranny bricklayer he's rather gone downhill. He's also turned against you. Were you trying to distract his attention in order to sneek a peek up his kilt?

Lol no thank you, in addition to which I am decidedly drama-averse.

[Jackstar]

I don’t like Mahler all that much, either; too histrionic and personal for my taste.  If you have to understand somebody’s biography or read their manifesto it’s just ranting, however beautiful.  They exist largely as personality cults.  I like Shostakovich’s ballets and film scores, though, when he raises his gaze from his navel for a moment.

Listen, I need one question answered: do you know what the threat of this title subject actually refers to? Because one way or another, it actually does.


I used the word need up there, cuz I could kind of actually need to know. If you want to just assume that my needs can be set aside indefinitely go right ahead sir that'll just look even better for my purposes which are legion. (No, don't call him he'll tell you to let me handle it.)


ON YOUR OWN HEAD BE IT? Well is that beat it or wait which head again? Don't you have three? Okay yeah you two were not ready for this gob.

No, please no not another resignation letter for my collection. Relax. You'll be fired. Maybe on a Sunday! That sounds like a good time we can get an early brunch in. It actually isn't, but it does sound like one, one good time. (X)(x)

Older code, older model, hasn't done a goddam scrap of homework in at least 305 years; yeah it's me, I check out, and no I'm not here to check you out.

Oh yeah I'm not as you can something else where am I coordinating yeah I'm a community organizer. I won't need a badge

[Jackstar]

Lol no thank you, in addition to which I am decidedly drama-averse.

If that's true you wouldn't have a screaming fit running from the room every time I say hello to you. Well I seriously what am I a fucking burn victim? Am I a leper? Do I have a goddamn artificial jarvik heart that terrifies you? No, I don't. So you hamming up and farting up all your fucking bullshit when another fucking buddy comes up doesn't make you very drama-averse buddy, it makes you an obvious (blank).


Additionally you and Jason make a cute couple, and you have chemistry, so I don't see what the problem is, and then claiming there's a problem and then freaking out and running behind your gang of friends is exactly what gay bashers do so I'm sure there's a reason why you fucking have picked up the fucking pattern, because obviously you thought that it would work. (It really is a horrible thing.)

Meanwhile I guess you thought that I would never work and it turns out I've had a job the whole time kiss the Ring. So where does this leave us oh yeah I got to read your other message still lost in the midst of time Jesus Christ

[Jackstar]

Lol no thank you

So, you just thanked him for an opportunity to sexually harass me. Oh, someone else in a kilt? Passe.


Look, you've got a real problem. "He's turned against you." No, that's bullshit, I'm probably more on your "side" than anyone else's... and I am Neutral at most times anyway. Bias? Sure. I do like and love and care for you just as I do everyone else here, but you're extra--special, especially TODAY, given that, while people kept asking me where you were, as if I would fucking know, right?

They seriously have no idea, so forgive them. Anyway, if you can't see what has been happening here and what is going on here, well, maybe you never will? Especialy if I keep getting interrupted in my scrolling backwards through time.


Almost there, though. Yes, no hard feelings towards Jason, I think he's *polite_cough* a 'drobs totescow. Wards, if necessary, were long since blasted past, I'm -not- needle adverse nor fond, no meth, et cetera, CHRIST, do I have to go over this every time?


Well yes,  because UNTIL THE SLANDERETTES RESCUE KEYSER SOZE'S WIFE'S SECOND COUSIN HALF REMOVED (wow, that apple sure didn't fall far from the tree) fix their shit rite, there's not a lot that can be done. Some of this shit will happen, and continue to happen, and there's no control I have over that. I'm a D.A.A. Sourceror (yeah, I bet you'd like to ask) and I'm pretty alright as far as "coolness" goes but I am stil a human Man, and I still like bow-ties, so clearly not all that cool though. I won't settle that so I can Adjudicate my own coolness myself later, and then--I won't.

Not because I'm that stoned, I mean I am, but I'm not forgetting to adjudicate that later, I am remembering now to make a point of saying so to you, right here and now: I don't give a shit how cool I am, but you seem to think you are, so, when I admire your coolness, it isn't condescension at all... I simply don't have a lot of practice under my belt to admire that kind of Old Gilled One(s) (X) cool. K'tool? Jesus, whatever. Scandivania? Scam Candy Navy, uh... look, i'm working this gig, okay? Now what did you want -before-?

Don't stay with goose. Stay with the kid. Meanwhile, i am going to get to your bullshit. Hang on. yes of course I will pinky swear, and that's not a Commie, that's my deep cover assignment, hey, here's an idea: how about just don't judge and then open your moth until you know what the shit -is-? Wow.

See? I toaded him right back, and we go weigh were we go, so say we all. Perfect, now where is the donkey, what does this blindfold smell like, and yeah, thanks for "the tail" except it's not, and I'm not gonna pin it. (*whispers: I am The King_Pinner) Yeah, it was worth  it. Tell me you got an ear.

[Jackstar]

👆not my diagnosis, but it is somebody’s.

Please supply name of the diagnostician and the diagnosis.

  I told you I am not at war with you,

No, you did not, you told it to an impostor. I've never --(NEVER!)-- had a discussion about such diplomatic matters with you, and if you had said that, I would have immediately thought, "Wow, who is the war with?" So, no. And, I just got off the phone with an impostor... so... No, you didn't tell me you are not at war with me, but yeah, thanks, as a pacifist with 30 years of not being at war under my belted steel-belted feather-brimed hat, give or take, I already know I am not at war. With anyone. So, that's what has made you, uh, "stand out."

you may happily go on raving about the place for all I care,

Okay, so: what place am I implicitly stated to have raved about? See, there's trouble I am a well-known not raver. Where do you see "me" raving about "a place" and what place is it?

in a sort of “My Descent Into Narcissism” way.

? uhm... sounds like something I should read. Why don't we have a faggot club for books that read themselves totally awesomesauce? Oh, right, because I withstand my own potency, and you be jelly. Any other fucking reason? This isn't a fag/faggot thing, is it?}

This isn't beacuse of that one ex-(blank) who feels horrendously stupid right now, is it? (There's at least five of them but let us NOT go there.) I do admire these displays of hive-mind loyalty. Nevertheless: there are issues.

We don’t shame people for mental illness here, it adds color.

This makes very little sense to me. All I got is, again: "you have me confused with an impostor." Alternately, you're making up a false character profile for myself, which... would -really- flatter me, haha.

  My replies to you don’t reinforce your reality,

I don't get many replies from you. The last 48 hours is basically more we've dialogued than we ever have. Are you thinking of Asuka? I dropped a dialogue request and then fled the room and haven't gone back. My reality doesn't need "reinforcement." You are not gaslighting me. Are you trying to gaslight me? That seems so implausible to believe.

you shouldn’t take that personally and rage at me for not conforming,

I didn't and I haven't. Furtherance of gaslight detected. What would you even conform to, and why would you imply that is something I do? Oh, right: it's the gas lighting.

Hi, I'm a Virgo. Eye anal lies.

I don’t rage at Shreddie or MDMD when they dismantle the pretenses I set up, that’s kind of what we do.

I am well-aware, that's why I find your "oh, we three kings, we're dismantling, but you, Jack, you: you're raging. Dude. Really? Fuck your mother. She's hot, and I wouldn't hold myself back, why should you?

Well? Go on. She's waiting. Now, I ask you... am I raging? let me help: no, I am not, nor was I before.

  As humans, reality is a mutually agreed-upon construction

You're not human, you're an Alpha Draconan. No, wait *glances down at hand* "I know you are but what am I?" Look, what do you think you're doing? You completely misinterpreted what I posted, then you ran off, then I came back and swung around for another pass --and no, not the one you're accustomed to, clearly-- and now, after warming up the cowcatcher, I see the problem: you're not reading my posts the way they were written. You are, demonstrably, either on-the-fly or accordance with script, altering my meaning and perverting my intended mode to convey.

Cool. You wanna knock that off or we gonna go take turns tickling each other's engine blocks? Yeesh.

and if that construction sends you spiraling out in protest feeling rejected,

No, Ham Tyler, that's you. I am not rejected: look, we're dialoguing. Asuka didn't reject me: she's terrified of something. (Heh heh. I wonder how long that's gonna be fun to keep quiet about.)

well, that is because you are a narcissist whose reality centers somewhere in his bellybutton.

A statement so blissfully fanciful, it could only have been generated by someone who must have, at once point, imagined another man's bellybutton. Nevertheless, "because you are a narcissist" is exactly the kind of baseless ad hominem arguement that makes people wonder how it could possibly be that I don't notice the contempt and disgust with which you relate to me with, but of course, I do notice that.

I just ignore it and move onwards towards my primary objective. You simply assumed that My Self was such an object of mind, likely because, well, you are Self-centered, right? Great, here's an ellipse, let me show you how to draw it into a noose for hanging lasagna.

I think narcissists get a bad rap in the pop-psy world where stupid people are invited to take quizzes to find out whether their spouse/boss/mother-in-law is one of those dangerous all-powerful frightening ogres

Shrek and I go way back. Passe.

(spoiler alert:  they always are)

Hey Shrek, get a look at this fucking guy. Look at yourself. Logically, you've just described me as a frightening ogre, and I -always- am. Well, how about now? What? Is it because I'm not addicted to cock, needles, or books, but I'm qualifed to handle all three without losing my shit... potentially all at the same time? I don't know. I didn't expect you to unpeel this way. Orange you a banana spider? Well there's probalby not one in that pew-pew Tree behind you, don't duck or anything.

and the insights your posts offer are a valuable corrective,

Translation: "I wiped my ass with your writing and my anus got shittier." Listen, if you think that was on me, you have been absurdly lied to. Even if it were "me" (and for what?) I don't remember you ever discussing that with me. And so, carrying around a bullshit grudge that isn't even accurate against a person who doesnt' eve n know would explain how you seem to be in alignment who thinks I dumped a beer on her head for being gay. No, I dumped it for being stupid enough, at the time, to think I didn't know -exactly- what was going on. Of course, gay. Uhm, who didn't know? Who cared? That wasn't the problem, and besides, she's not even you.

You're probably just enraged at the waste of hops. Moving on --like all of them ought to have done, years ago, especialy since I have no aversions to same-sex whatevers, and anyone telling you that is any truth about me is obviously misinformed and/or has been deeply lied to.

since you are none of those things.

So, I hear you got busted and had to sit in lockup until you were released and, hooray, you didn't rat anyone out. /shrug. This happened? I don't know! I hear a lot of things. I can tell you that I didn't get busted at all, and when some mealy-mouthed douchebag tried to sell me an ounce of dope that I didn't ask for, didn't need, didn't want, and figured out in the car, halfway there, that he probably should just be fucking staked right then and there... yeah, I didn't rat anyone out either. I can imagine that you would want to blame me for that, though, that might really play out well in Peoria.

(Are you beginning to see how badly you were played? Because I knew none of this until, oh, like last week. I don't figure out secrets until it is time for Me to do so on a Divine level.

  Maybe you can found a narcissist-awareness mental-health group and design a flag and hold marches reminding people that you exist and aren’t scary.

No. I cannot. There is no maybe. That's a firm declined. Just like transporting and the arrangement thereof under non-Authorized oversight is something that I guess I could do, if I wanted to be some kind of an idiot who lost all his superpowers from one really stupid mistake, but typically, I'm immune to that kind of trick. (I have tenure. Yeah, it -is- nice.)

[Master Trollda]

[Jackstar]

#StopTheTreaty

Done. Here, put this hashtag in your hashpipe; the one that's on a rope around your (blank).


(No, really. I didn't even know there was a treaty. And now, it has annoyed The Royal We. I put in a stop order. I get to do that. And, you know what? You get to put in stop orders too! Yours just work better on non-diplomats that do not function with Authority under aegis, and mine don't have to be anything besides be something that I want--for I only want that what I may have. Yeah, practice, and lots of it, I had plenty of time after I gave up masturbation for Lent it out and never saw any reason ever again, shrug. That_Shaw didn't buy it either, which was funny, since she was so good at buying her very own very new phones, but when she asked me to look into the suddenly on-going hostile takeover over her tribal government (I.O.U.Jed.Eyes? No, he's not just a myth, but no-one could have vouched for that legitimacy the way I did and allowed, and... oh yeah, now I remember, you totally explained all that to me and informed me about the process, right? Yes, in a dream, good for you, I had to wait until I -actually- had a -decent- reason to Go Directly To Chief, and that was a good reason, as not only was that the first time you acknowledged any roll that I ever played in that series of scenarios, it was also the first time your Chief asked me about my feelings, and instantly I started blowing out vape rings that signaled out, "I LOVE THAT RETARDED TODDLER, the first thing I thought was, "Why?" and then the second thing I thought was, "What is it about this that makes her look -actually- scared?" and then I noticed that I was way, way too instantly invested in an idle thought aout hypothetical telepathy and some dudemang (I get to call your Chief "dudemang featherdresser eraserhead" if I fuckin' squant to, woman," and that's when I realized... she believes in her Eagles Feathers, and her Sacred Red Tobacco + Sometimes China White Pouch, her telepathic Ancestors, her Golden Island Austro-Nigerian-Corp. children, her SuperBestSecretFriends, her Pound Me On Island Too sanctuary provisions... oh, hells yah, her crazy whacked out shit? Oh yeah. Totesboughtin. Anything I mentioned was just trash, low-vibe, that's for experimenting as a child, omfg, well, I guess she was still experimenting with a right cross then, and that was okay. (Technically, a punch thrown from a woman that actually lands on me is a Level 2 Class C felony (coz like, clergy, disabled, recent sexual assault victim, recent sexual assault victim salesman (alleged), recent sexual assault victim Trophy Husband (disputed--check his neck), and not only that--I'm an orphan. So, yeah, taking to fisticuffs could be then end of your life on this planet as you know it if I actually wanted to file a report that was gonna open up with, "Yeah, some girl hit me, and yeah, she was hitting like a girl, and no, I didn't try to dodge it, I took it on the chin like a man, and now, i want you to listen to me tell my story and I might cry a lit---HEY! What do you think you're doing, displaying visible dififculty in restraining your laughter? That's another felony if we were in Arkansas, Mister Deputy sir!)

(I know. I am beside myself as well. Why did I even -bother- with all this malarkey? Stupid human soul. Dumb years of torturous bondage. Boring thankless task. Oh, I know why, it's so we could watch Dickstar together. Which was actually fun, given that by then, he actually was more attractive than she was. Whoever she was. There perhaps as many as 5, all blipping in and out in ways that I would not expect anyone to believe. Nor would I expect anyone to believe that I would be willing to share -most- details of this shared experience, n'est-ce pas? That's why I won't describe -ever- what happened when I finally broke down and called Metr--- I mean, "the_police.exe" What? Fuck you, like anyone's belief by now is even sought for, let alone hoped.

Truth be told, I was never even dating the actual_actual_ACTUAL_MERMAID_SPLOOSH (not her name) but I guess I still am. She's kind of like an ocean... she contains all of life in the empty space between her ears on every alternate Tuesday, unless there's some obscure Guild rule that comes into play. Anyway, who was it who was saying that time travel doesn't exist? Azzerae. Who was it who was implying that to label oneself as "a mermaid" and a "time traveler" was to imply that one was perhaps, mentally deranged?

Well, here's a hint, both of them resort to fucking off simple questions from me whenever it suits them, while I have been consistently Mister Answers. That made it real hard for them to just block my number the other day when I was using them to triangulate A_Portal, which, obviously, wouldn't count as a "DIRECT" contact attempt. Right? Okay, let's move on.

(I mean, is that okay with everyone? Or is it getting "too hard" to do that "to figure it out" coping mechanism? I mention this because I have just about fucking had it with baseless, knee-jerk skepticism, not to mention, harassment by corrupt elements in law enforcement. It's embarrassing to have to watch what were formerly, one would assume, decently trained professionals, descend into caricatures of their former selves, just by getting a little too judgy with me. I heard a grown man crying in jail. He started it up after I had just finished a 70-minute session of leaning on the intercom buzzer and repeatedly asking, "are you seriously holding me incommunicado? like, for real? Officer? Please? Are you seriously?" and after I finally got a verbal confirmation back (a very tiny, very short, "yes," like a mouse with its tail caught in a door), and said, "Thank you!" and then stepped away from the door and sat down on my bunk... I started to hear this groaning, moaning dirge of despair, and I still have NO IDEA what the fuck this was all about, but, yeah, not only were they holding me without access to comms, in direct violation of common sense, let alone my legit civil rights, they also were unwilling to just say the word "yes" out loud to me... because in spite of how it may seem, the Law IS the Law. And Divine Law is too.

And, SEVENTY MINUTES OF DOORBELL BUZZING. "stop pushing the buzzer, or you will be punished *click*" Maybe they were gonna give me another family with another cat, and then kill that one too. Shrug. Like I gave a shit by that point. This was January. I'm still remembering it. If they wanted me to mow my lawn, they probably should have mentioned that before seriously pissing me off. And I don't know what went down here, but when I decided it was time to come home, I made three (3) phone calls and within three (3) days, there it was, a change of address acknowledgement request form.

So, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get blown away in public like Huey Long or Jackie Kennedy's philadering whore of a husband if I actually do cheat on my quasi-common-law-Amazon-Prime-(Blank). Besides, why would I need to "cheat"? All I have to do is call her, and... oh, uh, or, just take the necklace apart, and... oh, drat! Must remember to Google foolproof ways to annihilate one's own family without even trying very hard, so later, I can say that I did and then I can be immediately called a liar. Not as a courtesy, but as a test.

Speaking of tests: I passed all of hers, and she failed just one of mine. And it took an actual 16.5 MONTHS from the time I noticed that a critical failure had occured ("Did you..?" "NO! You would never even notice if we had!!!") to the moment of realization, "Oh, that's interesting, that's how mindslavery works, well, time to go home, say goodbye, and not say a fucking word about what I have just realized until I talk to an actual fuckin' attorney," and when I got there, Thunderdome had been rebranded to The Chinese Palace of White Lasagna. Definitely -not- an upgrade, in terms of Eastern Star aesthetics, but on the top end, yeah, all this "I'm not a boomer, I'm a D.O.B.!" is -actually- real. I don't need to prove it, because I know for a fact, I couldn't be here otherwise.

For essentially the entire course of our relationship, she and I had been mutually humoring each other. Sure, she was gonna help me with what I mentioned, and I was gonna help her with what she needed help with. Except, she thought the help I needed was to be sent to prison (she just knew I deserved prison, she can tell just by looking at a trail of false evidence strong enough for a man, but made by a woman and her secret thuggy piggy gang of secret squirrel backup bank-on busters), and I knew that the help she was gonna get from me, under MY Auspice, was gonna be whatever (Blank) informed me she -needed-, because for one thing, she had children, and for another, she asked for help with them, and at that point, for me, it's pretty much an everybody out of the swimming pool except for Jesus and Harrison Ford, and that's just because I have learned not to argue with Jesus about His choice of fluffer.

The last time I saw her clearly, she was on the phone, lying to dispatch about my actual behavior, that had happened over the last couple hours, and since I had heard her making other phone calls to someone else outside of my field of vision and then running back to engage again with more broken glass to spawn, when I saw that she made -this- call -in full visually direct view- I instantly realized, oh, she thinks my bio-bug is still working, she needs two (2) valid narratives with evidence, that's why she kept going back and forth TO SOME OTHER HOUSE NEARBY and why she said into the phone, "He choked me! WITH BOTH (2) HANDS!"

Yeah, pretty cool, my brain just automatically analyzes and breaks encryption codes on_the_fly in_real_time, pretty much, all by it's lonesome. It might be all that it does. I certainly don't always pay attention. However, I am alert for inconsistencies. So when she said that I had choked her... when I knew I hadn't, because I had deliberately subverted her Gesture Acquiesence Ritual for NotJokers (my favorite ritual these days, it's so graceful and remorseless, like Esther Williams and a central line with her Folger's replaced by Thor's Other Hammer) I knew that I was on the verge of something truly nighmarish, if I hadn't planned ahead, that is. Like a boss. Which was great, as by that point, I was basically no longer able to function clearly in my rational mind.

Like, why lie to dispatch? Oh, to trigger the double sortie, clearly already chomping at the bit. I wanted to just move out days ago, but I did want to see what all the whining about Christmas was going to be about, as I had resolved earlier, 2021 was gonna be the year I asked about what the actual birthday bash had actually been like, and had it perhaps been some sort of house party? So I could have left way earlier, and as most of Decemeber was spent planning an actual scheme to put me in actual custody after actually killing her--again, go bears--and then framing me for that while helpless and incarcerated alone, with none of the people I ever actually knew, either knowing what was happening to me, or be able to do anything about it, because after a certain point, like One (1) Mr. Julian Assange, take a round of applause, yah dumb blond prick, let me guess, you didn't see that it was an obvious trap AT ALL, until it was too late, right? And all he did was have a three-way without a condom. Allegedly. I doubt he was able to get it up, he probably just combed his locks and tried to explain his crypto locks to a pair of non-doxxed honeypots... and they probably didn't call the police and openly lie directly in front of his face, and if he had seen it, well... looks like he didn't have a great plan past Ecuador, yo. How you like Belmarsh, huh? Huh? Because I was only there for 11 days. It wasn't luck and it wasn't a blessing, because I just used The Law in order to escape my Christmas Trap + Post-Wrapping-Gifts Shmear, and it worked pretty awesome. I mean, just think, went from being legitimately too a-scared to sing The Grapefruit Song, not just on a stream, but EVEN TO MYSELF ALONE IN THE SHOWER, but I'm gonna bet that was mostly because I didn't want to cry and get the water running down my face and down my body to get all salty, and have to struggle to hold back tears, because, #1) I'd have really been crying when I couldn't remember the words, and #2) if I make the struggle to hold back tears into a real one, that would invalidate and cheaping the ongoing, real-time, real-world struggle of my personal, solitary Man Quest to vanquish all forms of tyranny, especially one's that don't handle mail clerk duty so good.

But, can Sourceror Nigger Husband (she actually used to call me that, until about 8.5 weeks after noticing no one else was laughing) actually -do- anything about an -actual- Pound Shit Sirius Bee Matter? Well, yeah, I could--but she couldn't -see- anything happening, and for a fucked-off mindslave suddenly finding herself in non-consensual 3d prison for Librarians Who Suddenly Can't Read Too Good Any Whore I Mean More I Mean WHYYYYYYYYY *slam*, I guess, getting real, scientific confirmations presented to her, suddenly took on a brand-new sense of importance. I'm not sure why, as I was expected to just swallow everything presented to me wholesale while she basically never even swallowed any Peace, let alone, peameal/piecemeal. Look, I'll just say it like this: it became actual Groundhog Day, literally only once or twice, but only because I saw it coming and said, "fuck that, I don't need to learn to play the piano that bad," and at that point, I started allowing telepathic directly between Chief (PROT) and I. (I wasn't shy before, I just heard that he was gay, which was fine, and that he didn't have a current innoculation vs. prairie mange. (Super important distinction. You know the difference between an inoculation and a vaccine, right? Now, before you finish answering, I'm gonna interrupt you and shout, "shut up, I'm immune, Nurse" and won't that just show you right to your seat? Hang on, let me get this former Vampire Lord that I turned into an usher show you to your private chair, and if It gets even close to fresh, don't call me, just RUN--we'll all smell that rotten fucker at that point, and I would like nothing more than any even remotely viable excuse to bust his two Busters down even a few more levels past Browntown Shine Boy. (btw: I find out what the 'Emergency' is: code 4488 "possible leader of future righteous lynch'n'steakin' mob just spotted FRESH leaving VAG, breaker one nine, looks like he's heading for a Church... uh... shit, there's no wagon allowed in the parking lot... LOCK THE DOORS TO THE STEEPLE AND RING THE BELL FROM ORBIT!!! (They were, in fact, quite panicked that day. They had to let me out, and they knew right then and there, I was totesnot boogerguilty, and as I had been model prisoner and had NOT.EVEN.ONCE ogled my complimentary Christmas.Rape.Elf (they had a right to be suspicous, how did I not rape one of Santa's Elves? They had heard some pretty impressive stories, after all. Couldn't have been rape anyway, really, although if Santa had put her UNDER DURESS and asked her nicely to remember what Elves are supposed to say when asked if they would like to be raped... well, let me tell you:

By the time this elf in particular got put in the concrete block with me, she had no idea whether she had wanted to be raped or not even in the first place, she just looked like she was way, way out of her league. (Yeah, seriously, if I'm gonna start my rape career --I am considering, I do have the publicity team ready to roll-- I am a D.O. Being of an absurdly high level of rank, renknown, and visibly indominable charismatic power and sometimes pheromones, and on top of that, I accidentally murdered my own parents (rumour! rumour! oh, that one isn't on R-Gab yet? That's just because he took credit already), so, if I'm gonna fuckin' totesrape a fucking elf, toteself or not, I'm gonna start with Legolas' girlfriends, right from Granny and going right on down the line. I'll hold my breath the whole goddam way too. Fuckin' elfs. Like that's what I got the class status for, pfft. And this elf, I don't even know if she really was from the North Pole, they might have just had some off-shift concierge from the Holiday Inn Express up in Everett flown down, just in order to be able to -legimtately- hold me in custody over Christmas.

Because, HELLO? The timing seems pretty far-fetched. Also, who -legitimately- gave a shit about my stupid little podcast, at that point? I swear sakes, land of lake galoshes, I didn't even know how insipid & inane this whole fucking thing was until I saw that, and I didn't see it until like seven weeks later, and that was the first time I thought of the fucking thing since well before All Lasgana's & Sometimes Camber Throwing Eve. And then, all of a sudden, here it is, prima facie evidence of conspiracy. Too bad the Prosecutor is such an obvious wastoid, he probably could have learned something from being presented with an actual, tangible clue from His Mortal Enemy for once in his, oh, I don't know, 33 years or so? Sparkle, I know what you've probably been saying, I would never punch someone in the face, and, I haven't, but this Prosecutor... every time I see him, his face just screams out, "I AM A DOPESLAVE! HELP ME! COMB MY HAIR FOR ME AT LEAST!" and that sounds like Anthony too, come to think of it. (Ed. Source Knig.: Hey, buddy, here's an idea: why don't you write your own exorcism, and just give it to yourself and use some Coors Holy as your Light water? No, it'll be fine, I'll grant you permission. Yes, reallly... aand, he's gone. Oh, and he left a barely touched can of Coors Swill, he must have believed me. LOL. Imagine him, writing his own exorcism. I bet it begins with lunges.)
 
I know, it does sound complicated, doesn't it? Here, have another hashtag, that might help clear things up.)