The BellGab Bakeshop

[K_Dubb]

Huh, I figured the acidity of the 'kraut was used to react with the baking soda, eliminating the need to use baking powder as leavening.  The rinsing seems to defeat that, in my mind.

I honestly have not looked up a recipe for this dubious cake.  That said, I would still like to try it.

It may very well work that way but I get the idea it is added mainly to provide reservoirs of moisture since Americans are deathly afraid of a dry cake (and a dry turkey breast) for some reason, the same way people add applesauce or (in a stroke of genius-level inspiration that they rush to the Cooks.com comment section to tell everyone) canned pumpkin.  Same as those awful pudding-in-the-mix Betty Crocker mixes, they have just put cornstarch in to cut the gluten and make it gooier and more like a pudding.  FFS people if you want a pudding make a pudding, then cut your dry cake and spead the pudding in for a layer, it won't be dry!  Dry cakes are your friend, they sell dry cakes as ladyfingers,  you can brush them with all kinds of booze and cream and espresso like tiramisu, stuff that makes them taste good, you do not need this unconscionable blurring of the lines between dessert forms, you start mixing things up like that and havoc will ensue and we will all take our desserts through a straw as sugary slurry.

[pate]

It may very well work that way but I get the idea it is added mainly to provide reservoirs of moisture since Americans are deathly afraid of a dry cake (and a dry turkey breast) for some reason, the same way people add applesauce or (in a stroke of genius-level inspiration that they rush to the Cooks.com comment section to tell everyone) canned pumpkin.  Same as those awful pudding-in-the-mix Betty Crocker mixes, they have just put cornstarch in to cut the gluten and make it gooier and more like a pudding.  FFS people if you want a pudding make a pudding, then cut your dry cake and spead the pudding in for a layer, it won't be dry!  Dry cakes are your friend, they sell dry cakes as ladyfingers,  you can brush them with all kinds of booze and cream and espresso like tiramisu, stuff that makes them taste good, you do not need this unconscionable blurring of the lines between dessert forms, you start mixing things up like that and havoc will ensue and we will all take our desserts through a straw as sugary slurry.

K_Dubb, Attend:

I like all cakes, I am not racist against the moist ones.  I consider ladyfingers to be sweet cookies, or "biscuits" as the backwards Anglishers call them.  Cookies should properly be crisp and dry, I agree.  But a cake, like wedding cake for instance, should not be dry and crumbly.

I realize that etymology probably recognizes no difference between what Americans call "cookies" and "cakes" or kuchen (however the 'krauts spell that), but there is a subtle distinction there in my modern mind.

However dry your "cake" may be, you shouldn't have to cut it with a knife (other than when preparing a slice), and it should not be so dry that it disintegrates into tiny pieces that must be corralled and eaten via a spoon.

Spoons and cakes should never cross paths, it is uncivilized.

Stop Racism Against Moist Cakes Now!  Should march proudly beside the Bakeries Not Fakeries initiative starting this month!



Our campaign should be inclusive of all flavors and tastes, don't you think? 

pate/K_Dubb 2024
"WHO shat in the interregnum?"

[K_Dubb]

K_Dubb, Attend:

I like all cakes, I am not racist against the moist ones.  I consider ladyfingers to be sweet cookies, or "biscuits" as the backwards Anglishers call them.  Cookies should properly be crisp and dry, I agree.  But a cake, like wedding cake for instance, should not be dry and crumbly.

I realize that etymology probably recognizes no difference between what Americans call "cookies" and "cakes" or kuchen (however the 'krauts spell that), but there is a subtle distinction there in my modern mind.

However dry your "cake" may be, you shouldn't have to cut it with a knife (other than when preparing a slice), and it should not be so dry that it disintegrates into tiny pieces that must be corralled and eaten via a spoon.

Spoons and cakes should never cross paths, it is uncivilized.

Stop Racism Against Moist Cakes Now!  Should march proudly beside the Bakeries Not Fakeries initiative starting this month!



Our campaign should be inclusive of all flavors and tastes, don't you think? 

pate/K_Dubb 2024
"WHO shat in the interregnum?"

Sir, I believe we are in general agreement on the bounds of taste, here.  A cake should not crumble, and a cookie should not ooze.  I merely felt it necessary to speak up in favor of the kind of sturdy well-browned cakes that moderate under a soft brushing with syrup or the gentle influence of cream filling and time.  The flavor-enhancing benefits of browning on flour and sugar are well-understood and I am loath to part with them in this obsessive quest for moisture.  I cannot in good conscience endorse a cake that squelches when you poke it like a car-wash mitt!  God between us and spoons, to be sure, but we are on a dangerous path to chaos and oblivion, where deliberately underdone cakes vomit forth their innards in disgusting displays of incontinence.



Distinctions should be preserved!  Cake should be cake, and filling should be filling, the textural contrast delighting the palate in every bite with its sophistication and verve, a dainty portion sufficient to amuse your bouche.  This is nothing more than the same sloth that gave us boxed mixes and one-bowl dump cakes and those godawful sponge things you poke with your finger and fill with Mountain Dew, suitable only for shoveling in your prediabetic piehole with a garden trowel and god only knows at what cost in calories!

[pate]

Sir, I believe we are in general agreement on the bounds of taste, here.  A cake should not crumble, and a cookie should not ooze.  I merely felt it necessary to speak up in favor of the kind of sturdy well-browned cakes that moderate under a soft brushing with syrup or the gentle influence of cream filling and time.  The flavor-enhancing benefits of browning on flour and sugar are well-understood and I am loath to part with them in this obsessive quest for moisture.  I cannot in good conscience endorse a cake that squelches when you poke it like a car-wash mitt!  God between us and spoons, to be sure, but we are on a dangerous path to chaos and oblivion, where deliberately underdone cakes vomit forth their innards in disgusting displays of incontinence.



Distinctions should be preserved!  Cake should be cake, and filling should be filling, the textural contrast delighting the palate in every bite with its sophistication and verve, a dainty portion sufficient to amuse your bouche.  This is nothing more than the same sloth that gave us boxed mixes and one-bowl dump cakes and those godawful sponge things you poke with your finger and fill with Mountain Dew, suitable only for shoveling in your prediabetic piehole with a garden trowel and god only knows at what cost in calories!

Indeed, I don't believe either of us needs to clarify our position on Microwave Lava Cakes or any sort of baked good that uses the microwave as the heat source for "baking."

Code: [Select]

the following vidya may be unsuitable for children, those with heart problems and/or pregnant women.

THE HORROR!



ediot:  the finnish product in that vidya looks like a cuppa diarrhea poo, disgusting!  He even has to eat it with a spoon, so nasty.  I apologize for posting that, thread.

[K_Dubb]

Indeed, I don't believe either of us needs to clarify our position on Microwave Lava Cakes or any sort of baked good that uses the microwave as the heat source for "baking."

Code: [Select]

the following vidya may be unsuitable for children, those with heart problems and/or pregnant women.

THE HORROR!



ediot:  the finnish product in that vidya looks like a cuppa diarrhea poo, disgusting!  He even has to eat it with a spoon, so nasty.  I apologize for posting that, thread.

Sir, should we issue a campaign statement on this abomination?  I have never seen such a thing!!!  Holy Jesus what is the world coming to?   Perhaps “mug cakes are fug cakes” can be ultimately subsumed under the “Bakeries not Fakeries” initiative but if people are just putting cake things in a cup and nuking them out of sloth a strong moral corrective needs to be applied.

[Laser]

To the Master of the Bakeshop:

What would be your opinion on this kitchen creation - the CHESS PIE?
Is it worth the effort in attempting for the most simpleminded novice?

http://www.paranoiamagazine.com/2020/06/the-paranoid-baker-conspiratorial-chess-pie/

[K_Dubb]

To the Master of the Bakeshop:

What would be your opinion on this kitchen creation - the CHESS PIE?
Is it worth the effort in attempting for the most simpleminded novice?

http://www.paranoiamagazine.com/2020/06/the-paranoid-baker-conspiratorial-chess-pie/

I think Roz is the mistress, she started it and is, as far as I know, the only educated baker among us, who has actually had people buy her things.

I am ambivalent about the chess pie the same way I am about WOTR’s butter tarts, to which it bears a certain resemblance.  Both derive from English baking which, because of their historical dominance of the West Indies sugar trade, settle on the superabundant sugar as the thing that makes a thing “good”, you see it everywhere with “sticky” this and “toffee” that, the whole point of the dessert is consuming sugar in vast quantities.  It is the same with the Dutch whose free hand with spices stems from their East Indies empire.

Sugar has never been enough for most cultures, even in the South where the pie originates, where they quickly added pecans the same way Canadians turned to that staple English supplement of raisins.  Of course, as a dessert, it will be “good” in the same way eating a sugar lump is tasty, but it seems to me a pie is meant to show off a comparatively rare or seasonal ingredient, like berries or nuts or something beyond just sugar, which just isn’t special enough any more.  I’m afraid the chess pie, however ancient and storied (most of my old cookbooks have it in there), is doomed forever to be pecan’s poor cousin.

That said, I would never turn down a piece 😁

[Laser]

I think Roz is the mistress, she started it and is, as far as I know, the only educated baker among us, who has actually had people buy her things.

I am ambivalent about the chess pie the same way I am about WOTR’s butter tarts, to which it bears a certain resemblance.  Both derive from English baking which, because of their historical dominance of the West Indies sugar trade, settle on the superabundant sugar as the thing that makes a thing “good”, you see it everywhere with “sticky” this and “toffee” that, the whole point of the dessert is consuming sugar in vast quantities.  It is the same with the Dutch whose free hand with spices stems from their East Indies empire.

Sugar has never been enough for most cultures, even in the South where the pie originates, where they quickly added pecans the same way Canadians turned to that staple English supplement of raisins.  Of course, as a dessert, it will be “good” in the same way eating a sugar lump is tasty, but it seems to me a pie is meant to show off a comparatively rare or seasonal ingredient, like berries or nuts or something beyond just sugar, which just isn’t special enough any more.  I’m afraid the chess pie, however ancient and storied (most of my old cookbooks have it in there), is doomed forever to be pecan’s poor cousin.

That said, I would never turn down a piece 😁

Thank you for the astute and well informed opinion. My sentiments exactly with respect to the over sweetness.

https://www.readersdigest.ca/culture/surprising-history-butter-tarts/

Butter tarts may seem mundane for some; nanaimo bars look more interesting, as well as being irresistable.

[pate]

... the only educated baker among us...

I too am formally edumicated in the Art of Baking from a professional chef's school.  Although, I do not retain a Pastry Chef certification;  I did, as Sous Chef at my friend's French restaurant, bake such wonders as quiche, vol-au-vent, pate a choux, Tarte de pommes a la Normande et aussi quelqechoses autres... and in my long career in professional kitchens have baked all sorts of things, Chickens & Beef Roasts not to be included, of course as topical to this thread.  While not a specialist of the Art, I am well familiar with it and actually still have my Fundamentals of Baking or "On Baking" textbook from the class I took.  That was incidentally taught by a Monk!  One of those weird Catholic ones that are famous for their mad bread-making skills.



I also made (and taught mes amis Francais at the restaurant how to make) creme fraiche well before that funny as hell South Park episode aired (much to my later chagrine.)



K_Dubb Attend;  I am hurt!  Remember that I play the fool so that mine enemies underestimate me, it also aids in blending in with the general population:  99% of which possess a significantly lower IQ than I.

[K_Dubb]

I too am formally edumicated in the Art of Baking from a professional chef's school.  Although, I do not retain a Pastry Chef certification;  I did, as Sous Chef at my friend's French restaurant, bake such wonders as quiche, vol-au-vent, pate a choux, Tarte de pommes a la Normande et aussi quelqechoses autres... and in my long career in professional kitchens have baked all sorts of things, Chickens & Beef Roasts not to be included, of course as topical to this thread.  While not a specialist of the Art, I am well familiar with it and actually still have my Fundamentals of Baking or "On Baking" textbook from the class I took.  That was incidentally taught by a Monk!  One of those weird Catholic ones that are famous for their mad bread-making skills.



I also made (and taught mes amis Francais at the restaurant how to make) creme fraiche well before that funny as hell South Park episode aired (much to my later chagrine.)



K_Dubb Attend;  I am hurt!  Remember that I play the fool so that mine enemies underestimate me, it also aids in blending in with the general population:  99% of which possess a significantly lower IQ than I.

Sir, I am very sorry, I had forgotten somehow!  So we have established that, rather than the master, I am the least-qualified member of the bakery team, I should be washing bowls and licking spatulas, that is fine with me!  I have never made vols-au-vent, the prospect is terrifying.

[pate]

Sir, I am very sorry, I had forgotten somehow!  So we have established that, rather than the master, I am the least-qualified member of the bakery team, I should be washing bowls and licking spatulas, that is fine with me!  I have never made vols-au-vent, the prospect is terrifying.

Hah!  Unless you are actually making puff-pastry dough, which is terrifying, the construction of vol-au-vent is incredibly simple.  Using pre-fab frozen sheets of puff-pastry dough it is incredibly simple.  All you need is two circular cookie cutters (or any shape really, they merely need to be somewhat congruent in shape and one slightly smaller than the other), an appropriately temperatured oven, a sheet pan, some melted butter or egg wash to brush between the layers to act as a "glue," and some sort of savory or sweet filling for them.

Hear a vidya:



I think we made slightly smaller diameter ones that had two or three layers and thus were taller.  We would fill them with a Lobster & Saffron bechamel which sounded a lot fancier in French when printed on the menu "Vols-au-vents de Bechamel homarde et saffron" or something like that.  Sometimes there was an actual name for a "bechamel  + lobster + saffron" sauce that made it even more inscrutable WTAF you were going to eat so it could have been something along the lines of "Vols-au-vents Rozalinde" which is very hawt in its simplicity and brevity.

There was some chanson by La Rue Ketanou that spoke of the wind (vents) that I particularly enjoyed listening to while making those, if the following is not it;  it was quite similar:



You should bust out your accordion and listen to some of the accordion heavy Ketanou songs (of which there are many) and see if you can reproduce their sound.  They do some really cool Nautical Shanties (Chantes) stuff with a modern twist that you might enjoy.

I don't think any of the professional Baking stuff I did was anything difficult, it just sounded that way because it was listed on the Menu, en Francais which always makes things sound fancy.

For instance were I to make a Dog Turd Pie we might list it on the Menu as "Tarte crotte Toutou" which sounds quite innocent and cute, as a plus you are able to charge a lot more for it because it has a pretty name!  You could serve it to unsuspecting guest with a look on your visage as impeccant as the the puppy's below:



If you are skilled enough, you could even score it as a Triple Entente when revisiting the story among fellow French fiends later, which would be most amusing indeed...

[pate]

I find it amusing that for the past few weeks I have been using up the last of some ham and pulled pork to make myself Cuban Sandwiches.  I am heavily buttering them, wrapping in foil and putting in a sort of panni-press pan and baking them in the oven.

My pan looks like this:


My brother-in-law apparently didn't like it, and gave it to me.  I think he was using it wrong or something, don't know.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Cuban:



A "Cuban" loaf*, Yellow* Mustard on lower bread, layer of Swiss cheese, layer of Ham, more Swiss, layer of Sliced Roasted Pork*, layer of Pickles, another layer of Swiss cheese*, more Yellow Mustard on top bread.  Butter and grill under a heavy weight to smash it together until cheese melts*.

They are pretty damn good, although I am Nautical Shore at all if I ever had one while I was in Florida or not.  I was pretty high most of the time there so it is difficult to recall, I will say maybe side of probably?

Damn tasty, although I understand there is a version that includes Salami in addition to the Pork & Ham which I have not yet tried.  Mainly because I don't have any Salami.  Sounds wierd, which is probably why I tried it the first time, but it is actually really good.

Sadly, today is my last one as I have finally run out of Pulled Pork and Ham.

Viva la revolucion!



*(which apparently you can only buy the authenico version in Miami somewhere, or just use baguettes, hoagies, pane loaves, whatever)
*(common White Trash, bright yellow)
*(I am using pulled pork, bbq)
*(apparently most people do only two layers, I like Swiss cheese)
*(or wrap in foil, heavily buttered and bake 350F in a pannini pan ~7 minutes a side)

[K_Dubb]

Here is a fyrstekake I made this weekend out of Astrid Carlson Scott's book.  Grandma use to make hers in a springform but I have moved it to a tart pan, which takes a 1.5 recipe to fill generously.  It's a cookie crust with cardamom in it, filled with what is basically just almond paste made with unblanched almond flour -- that is why it is dark.  It doesn't look like much but there are two sticks of good low-moisutre butter and four cups of sugar and four eggs in that baby, pure diabetes on a plate, but absolutely delicious.  There are a lot of recipes for this but Astrid Carlson Scott's comes out the most like my grandma's, a decadent ratio of filling to crust (some other ones are downright miserly in their proportions) and not so dry, which is its usual failing -- crumbly and parched so you need coffee right away.  I add a couple tablespoons of butter to her recipe and an extra yolk, and never have a dry one thank God.



Grandma always used to make hers with raw sugar in the cookie crust so I do the same thing, I think it makes the taste a bit rustic and goes better with the almond paste.

[Colonel Pate Manly]

Here is a fyrstekake I made this weekend out of Astrid Carlson Scott's book.  Grandma use to make hers in a springform but I have moved it to a tart pan, which takes a 1.5 recipe to fill generously.  It's a cookie crust with cardamom in it, filled with what is basically just almond paste made with unblanched almond flour -- that is why it is dark.  It doesn't look like much but there are two sticks of good low-moisutre butter and four cups of sugar and four eggs in that baby, pure diabetes on a plate, but absolutely delicious.  There are a lot of recipes for this but Astrid Carlson Scott's comes out the most like my grandma's, a decadent ratio of filling to crust (some other ones are downright miserly in their proportions) and not so dry, which is its usual failing -- crumbly and parched so you need coffee right away.  I add a couple tablespoons of butter to her recipe and an extra yolk, and never have a dry one thank God.



Grandma always used to make hers with raw sugar in the cookie crust so I do the same thing, I think it makes the taste a bit rustic and goes better with the almond paste.

That is awesum, Kay_Dubya!

Next time you make that, practice your weaving skillz:



And it will look even MOAR butter.

[Roswells, Art]

Has anyone ever tried a Jaffa orange? If so can you recommend an orange that is similar in taste? I made this recipe a while back with navel oranges instead:
https://foodlovermagazine.com/recipe-index/baking/sweet/jaffa-orange-cakes/14412 . It is from the first season of The Great British Bake-Off's cake week challenge winner. It turned out alright but I would like to try it again. I think I'll need a really orangey tasting orange. Maybe mandarin? Those are pretty orangey.

According to wikipedia:

"The Jaffa orange, a label introduced by German Templers in the late 19th century and also known by their Arabic name, Shamouti orange, is an orange variety with few seeds and a tough skin that makes it particularly suitable for export. Today the variety is practically extinct.

Developed by Palestinian farmers in the mid-19th century, the variety takes its name from the city of Jaffa where it was first produced for export.
'Jaffa' oranges, also known as shamouti, are practically seedless, with a flavour that has been described as "excellent" and "sweet and fine"."

"Sweet and fine" isn't very helpful.

Apparently you can buy them in England, despite being "practically extinct". Hey Sredni, can you mail me a couple?