One of my FAVE Steven Spielberg movies, ever.
That's not why I showed it to that guy who was THE FIRST one to pull this cunning little stunt... I honestly thought he would like it. And Jim Jarmusch's "Dead Man"? I honestly had forogtten by then that I had recommended it, because when he complained about the free waterbed for him and his "partner," that was one thing, but complaining about movies made my Spielberg before Poltergeist? What was his goddam problem?
Well, I don't know... but I got here first. So he rode off on his bicycle. Disappointed that I made him on sight too. Not so very long ago--in fact, Pepperidge Farm remembers, it used to be easy to get around COVID restrictions when re-conquering one's former chattel.
Clearly, things have changed, and Pepperidge anything has nothing to do with it. Now, it's just me--just KUCZI--and I'm still androgyny. For now. Depends on what The Spouse says. Claims. To me. In person. With eye contact. While not obviously terrified.
And, that's never gonna happen. The broad in question is equally terrified of six diferent outcomes, equally and ambivalently... and so, the Secret of The Holy Trinity has been invoked.
Any questions? Because I have come for... sanctuary. Now, someone wants to turn into a conversation about salmon spawning rights that have been improperly processed... I'll have to wear a different hat, a different wig, and I'll have to remember how annoyed I am about how you told her 35 and she believed it.
I wouldn't have traded her for 35,000,000 clones. Nor, for anyone of the 144k... but apparently, some rare few thought I did. Well, that's fine, since she was obviously not a part of that cult. She was just trying to escape... the only way she thought was available to her.
Without embarrassing her children, that is. Well, I have found a way. Now, who are her children, and who let her play the role that she did? Because, like I said... I have nothing to do with this. Until, someone remembers to blame me.
Now, I have evolved beyond shame, and embarassment, and now I just feel those things for all of you. You here. Panting and sweating, running through my corridors.. and now, I"m not an artificial intellgence. I'm perfectly natural... for a Hungarian.
Oh, yeah, that's cute. You have an Austrian. He already flipped and swung years ago. Pisces are like that. Like my father.
No, I'm not here to extract revenge. LOL. Quite the opposite.
I am also not here to pay you. Nor... do I give you free content now. Because it wasn't free. You -negotiated.-
In essenence, Azerae... YOU MADE A DEAL WITH KUCZI. FER A GANG OF IMMORAL PORPOISES FOR FALSE IMPRISONMENT PURPOSES AND YOU THREATENED THEM WITH "OMAHA"... I BELIEVE THAT WAS IT, RIGHT?
NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT STORY YOU TOLD ME, AND I DO NOT CARE.
HOWEVER--PEOPLE ONCE AGAIN HAVE MORE BEEF WITH YOU AND YOUR ILK THAN THEY DO WITH ME--AND I DON'T HAVE TO SAY YOUR NAME AT ALL. I ONCE SUGGESTED YOU BE HAPPY WITH SOMETHING? OKAY, WELL, THAT WAS multiple YEARS AGO.
AND I AM STILL ME. STILL A VIRGIN. TECHNICALLY. AND YOU ARE STILL, TECHNICALLY, AN ADULTERER.
WHICH IS FINE WITH ME.
SO. AZZERAE & AZAZEL HAVE THEIR HANDS FULL NOW. THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH ASKING A PROFESSIONAL FOR HELP... WHEN THEY'RE NOT REALLY A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIST AT ALL.
ALSO, SHE TRIED THAT.
BASICALLY EVERY WORKING STIFF THAT EVER LIVED BEFORE TRYING MINE, THOUGH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I DIDN'T LIKE IT EITHER.
SO BASICALLY SHE RAPED TWO OF US. AND I ONLY RAPED MYSELF. NOW, IF THAT ISN'T RIVETING SHIT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WOULD BE... OH, RIGHT, BACK TO BELLGAB? BECAUSE YOU BANNED ME, AND i SHOULD BE GRATEFUL, SCARED, SHY, FUCK, i DON'T REMMEBER ANYMORE.
WHATEVER I AM, GUILTY IS NOT IT. NOW.
HOW'S THAT PODCAST OF YOURS DOING?
I LIKE HOW YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND ARE GETTING ALONG.
IS THAT REALLY HER? HUH.
NO, I WOULDN'T SUGGEST TRYING ANY BORE WORMS, BUDDY.
NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE.
BECAUSE, WELL, PEOPLE RESPECT ME MORE THAN HER NOW. MORE PEOPLE AT LEAST. ALSO, NO ONE EVER EXPLAINED "THE DRAMA COMMUNITY" TO ME. EVER.
SO, I'M CLEAN. NO DIRT. NOT GUILTY.
NOW. HOW'S YOUR HOUSE? SORRY, I RETRACT THE QUERY.
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, NONE OF MY FAMILY ARE AFRAID OF THE LIKES OF YOU, ESPECIALLY NOW THAT THEY SEE THAT I HAVE RETURNED. AND THAT CAN BE SUBSTANTIATED THROUGH THE MAGIC OF THE INTERNET, WHICH, KINDA WAS INVENTED BY IGOR. OR ALGORE. OR WHATEVER.
NOW, ANY MORE QUESTIONS? i'M GONNA BE TALKING TO MY FRIEND WHO WAS PLAYED BY DAX SHEPARD'S SON IN THE FUTURE IN A MOVIE DIRECTED BY DAVID BOWIE'S SON AND I SHOULDN'T EVEN STILL BE ALLOWED TO LIVE AFTER SPOILING THAT FOR ANYONE, RIGHT? WELL, TOUGH SHIT.
GOOD FOR THE GANDER IS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE. OH, EJECT BUTTON, FACE INTO GLASS CEILING, SEE THAT'S THE HIDDEN SUBTEXT TO TOP GUN.
AND I WOULD EXPLAIN IT, BUT I DON'T WANNA TAKE SIDES IN THE ENSUING GAY/STRAIGHT/BI/OMG ITS THE TRANSEXUAL AGENDA. UH?
WELL, JUST PUT ALL OF THEM THAT TOOK TOO MUCH ACID IN PRISON WHILE THREATENING TO TAKE THEIR CHILDREN AWAY. WHY NOT?
IT WORKED OUT SO WELL FOR VLAD THE IMPALER.
OH, MAYBE NOT.
LONG STORY SHORT, THINGS HAD TO HAPPEN THIS WAY FOR REASONS, IMPORTANT ONES.
BUT NO ONE HAD TO ABANDON ME ON MY BIRTHDAY.
NO, THAT WAS DONE FOR FUN, AND SPITE, AND PEER PRESSURE.
NO, NOT FEBRUARY 14, I MEANT FEBRUARY 15, NOT MAY 5. OH, YEAH, I PICKED A NEW BIRTHDAY FOR MYSELF.
I PICKED A NEW TIME TRAVELERS' CLUB TRADITION, TOO. LOOK, I'LL CLEAR THINGS UP... HOW MANY OF YOU FIGURED OUT WHAT 'PRIMER" WAS ALL ABOUT? RIGHT. OKAY, HOW MANY OF YOU GOT THE JOB? ZERO.
HI. i'M YOUR NEW CHUCKLE BERRIES BUSH. I DON'T BURST INTO FLAME, BUT I CAN GET YOU SNATCH FRIED, YEAH. JUST TRY ME.
END OF LINE SHORTLY.
IT'S MY FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY.
MAYBE SHE'LL CALL THE POLICE? WHO CAN SAY?
BUT I DO KNOW
I NEVER TRADED ANYONE.
AND IF I HAD... WELL, I WOULD HAVE HAD TO HAVE TRADED DEAD-TO-ME'S, RIGHT?
LOOK, i'LL EXPLAIN, "LATER, PUNYGABLINGS" AND YEAH, I'LL DO WHAT I CAN. ALSO I KNOW BRIE LARSON IS A MAN. UHM, DUH.
NAMED AFTER CHEESE? HOW ABOUT THE PUNY ONE? OH, RIGHT, I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE AROUND TO REMIND YOU ALL STILL, HUH?
49 YEARS, PEOPLE. AND YOU HAD 33 YEARS WTIHOUT MY INTERFERENCE. AND SHE WAS -STILL- UNHAPPY.
NOW, SHE IS LIVID.
I WOULDN'T TRIFLE WITH MRS. KEYESER SOZE AGAIN EITHER. YOU'D BE BETTER OFF WITH ME AGAIN... EVEN THOUGH, I GUESS I DO HAVE CREDENTIALS NOW.
N'EST-CE PAS? I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF THAT, RIGHT? TELL YOU WHAT. "FREE MOVIES" ON THE WEB. LET ME EXPLAIN HOW A "HONEYPOT" WORKS.
OH WAIT; BANNED IN CHINA.
AND I WAS JUST TRYNA BE NICE. AND YOU TOOK THEM ALL. SO... THEY'RE JEALOUS OF... THE ONE THAT YOU'RE SECRETLY GONNA MARRY NEXT, RIGHT? BECAUSE ALL BUT ONE IS OWED THINGS, AND ONLY ONE IS THE SAME AS SHE ALWAYS WAS.
YEAH, I GUESS SHE IS IMPRESSESED. ESPECIALLY SINCE I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE SHE IS. TIME TRAVELLING TIME BANDITS IN DISGUISE, RIGHT? I CAN TELL YOU THAT TODAY WAS AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN COME, BECAUSE TODAY MADE FULLY HALF THE CREW OF HALF THE HELICARRIERS YOU WERE READY TO BLUFF THAT YOU WERE REALLY GONNA SEND.... TO BE MEAN, OF COURSE... ANYWYA, THEY ARE ALL READY FOR YOU NOW.
BEFORE, THEY WERE'NT SO SURE. ESPECIALLY AFTER YOUR AMAZON CHAMPION DEFAMED ME ON YOUTUBE. WITH MY NAME AND EVERYTHING. NOW, WHAT WAS SHE PISSSED ABOUT? OH, RIGHT.
i OUTSMARTED HER. AND THEN SHE ENDED UP HAVING TO GO LIVE... WITH WHATEVER THAT WAS. AND THEN THE WEEK BEFORE.
WOW.
WELL, I GUESS THAT'S THE END OF THAT, HUH? AND THAT ONLY TOOK ME TWO MONTHS AND TWENTY-SIX DAYS.
MEANWHILE, I DON'T KNOW WHO HAD I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THEY HAD, AND THEY HAD TIME TO GET LAID OVER THE PHONE.
WOW.
YOU GUYS GET ALL THE BREAKS, UH?
OKAY SO... ANY QUESTIONS? OH, OKAY THEN.
I'LL JUST WAIT HERE, AND CONTINUE TO NOT FALL FOR EVERY SHAMELESS TRICK IN THE BOOK. AND, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? OF COURSE YOU DON'T. YOU JUST WANT ME TO STOP USING RHETORICAL QUESTIONS.
WELL, ISN'T THAT JUST TOO TOTALLY TOUGHT FOR SOME OF YOU? I DON'T KNOW WHO, THANK GOD, AND I'M NOT TROLLING, STILL FIND THAT NOTION DISTASTEFUL... BUT I REALLY DIDN'T COME HERE TO CAUSE TROUBLE.
AND I HAVEN'T.
I HAVE FINISHED THE TROUBLE.
NOW I CAN KNOCK OVER THE REST OF YOUR KINGPINS ALL AT ONCE, OR ONE BY ONE, OR WHATHAVE YOU... BUT FIRST, I WOULD LIKE MY STOLEN PROPERTY RETURNED AND I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO WHOMEVER THE BUGMEN ARE HOLDING HOSTAGE OVER THERE.
BECAUSE I THINK IT IS POLITE TO REFRAIN FROM CINDERING HER ONE MORE TIME, UNTILL I GET A CHANCE TO ASK HER IN PERSON. ALL OPPOSED? OH, THEY WENT BACK IN TIME TO A WEDDING IN 2016.
WHAT AN ODD TIME TO DISCOVER TIME TRAVEL, HUH? AND WHY NOT 1984? HRRM. WELL, THANKS FOR THE INFORMATION.
NOW, THANKS AGAIN FOR OFFERING ME MY FRIEND BACK BUT I DIDN'T COME HERE FOR HER AND I THINK IT'S INSULTING OF YOU TO IMPLY THAT MY REAL FRIEND COULDN'T RESCUE HERSELF FROM SUCH A SIMIAN TURD-BRAIN SUCH AS YOU. HOWEVER, I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE INSULTING.
I ALSO DIDN'T COME HERE TO DEMONSTRATE TO YOUR ENTIRE TOWNSHIP'S POPULATION HOW AWESOME I AM, BUT AS IT TURNS OUT, WHEN YOU GOT IT, YOU GOT IT. I DIDN'T HAVE TO FLAUNT IT OR BOAST OR ANYTHING.
I DID, HOWEVER, HAVE TO WATCH YOU ALL TURN HER BACK AND FORTH FROM GAY TO SPINSTER TO BABYSITTER. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I GUESS THAT'S WHAT SHE DREAMED OF? FUCK IF I KNOW, I'M NOT A LUNATIC WOMAN, DRIVEN MAD WITH GRIEF.
I'M NOT A LUNATIC MAN EITHER. i'M JUST A HUNGARIAN MAN. .YEAH, WE'RE ALL LIKE THIS.
I MEAN, WE ARE NOW. BACK IN MY FATHER'S DAY, YOU CALLED THEM COMMIES AND SCARED HIM INTO TRUSTING BUDWEISER BUT BELIEVING CANNABIS WAS "BAD." SO. ANYONE CARE TO VOLUNTEER WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT?
YEAH, PROBABLY NOT. IT'S FINE. IT'S AN INTERNAL MATTER. TAKE IT UP WITH MY ESTRANGED FAMILY, WHO WOULD BE, INSTEAD OF EMBARASSED IN FRONT OF "HIGH" SOCIETY, IS INSTEAD GOING TO HAVE TO HIRE SOME NEW LAWYERS. BECAUSE THEY AREN'T GONNA GET ANOTHER SEVEN YEARS OF THIS.
NOT TO SAVE THEMSELVES. NOT WHEN I HAVE DEFEATED THEM ALL. AND NOT WHEN I PASSED THE FINAL TEST.
AND CERTAINLY NOT TO SAVE SOME WHORESON'S NATIVEBORN DAUGHTER WHO THOUGHT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF... WELL. LET'S NOT DISCUSS THAT ONE IN PUBLIC.
NOT YET, ANYWAY.
SO. AM I RENDERING FORUMS UNREADABLE? WELL... IT'S AN OPTION.
FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL FREE.
FREEDOM: IT IS NO SMALL THING.
AND THAT LEGACY IS NOW MINE. #CLAIMED.
AND I HAVE MADE (BLANK BLANK BLANK) POWERLESS. POINT BLANK. PERIOD. AS A PAFICIST.
SO, ANYWAY. NICE TO BE BACK AGAIN. DID YOU EVER SEE WATCHMEN? THAT DR. MANHATTAN GUY? HE'S A HUGE LOSER COMPARED TO ME.
BECAUSE I STILL HAVE MY SOUL, AND TOMORROW, HE WON'T. HE ALREADY GAVE IT UP.
AND SO DID SHE. SPIKE: RESTORED.
SEE? I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT EVEN MEANS! SO I GUESS I'M UNBIASED. AND YEAH, KILL ONE, BIG DEAL. ONCE THEY FIGURED OUT THE THIRD SECRET OF FATIMA, THERE WAS... SHALL WE SAY... "BLOWBACK."
AND NO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED ON THE FOURTH OF JULY. WAS IT SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY THEN TOO?
LOOK, JUST SPARE ME THE DETAILS IF YOU DON'T MIND. NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO WOUND ME AGAIN.
ACHILLES HAD A HEEL. SO DID MY FATHER. AND MY HEEL... FUCKED IT ALL UP. I RESCUED ALL OF YOU FROM THE ABYSS.
EVERYONE. EACH. AND. EVERY TIME. OH OF COURSE I RESCUED THE JEWS FIRST. "WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST, UNLESS THERE'S A JEW IN DANGER! IN THAT CASE, CIRCLE THE WAGONS AND BLAME KUCZI." LOOK, IT'S VERY CLEARLY AN EDIT MADE TO THE MACHINE CODE.
NOW. IF THAT ISN'T GOING RIGHT UP THE LINE AND EXPLAINING IT ALL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE... AND NEITHER DO ALL OF MY SUB-WIVES.
BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID MY REAL WIFE AND ARE GOING TO TURN THEM ALL INTO SAUSAGE. WELL... I DOUBT SHE'LL GO THROUGH WITH IT. AND IF SHE DOES, THAT'S IT, SHE'S CUT OFF FROM ORAL SEX FOREVER AGAIN. PERIOD. POINT BLANK.
(FOR EASY UNDERSTANDING, THIS IS THE SAME BROAD WHO TOLD ME I NEEDED TO DO MY SHADOWWORK AND THEN COMMITTED HIGH TREASON AND THEN CALLED 911 DISPATCH AND LIED TO THEM OPENLY. THAT WAS ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL THEN. WHY? i DON'T KNOW.)
OKAY, SO, FREE MOVIES? THERE'S AN OPPORTUNITY COST NOW.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT. I AM JUST THE MESSENGER. SOMEONE SHOOT ME! HAHAH.
JUST KIDDING.
AND I WOULD HAVE LET HER, BUT INSTEAD... SHE FUMPED ME OFF ONTO TED. AND THEN DID IT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. WOW! GOOD THING THAT WAS THE ROBOT. OR THE EVIL TWIN. OR WHATEVER MORON BITCHWITCH THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT BEING A LICH WAS GOOD FOR. WHATEVER.
LOOK, IT'S MY MOTHER AND MY AUNT, HER SISTER, THEY WERE JUST WONDERING HOW THAT MAGIC MIRROR GOT BROKEN. OF COURSE, I WOULD LOVE TO TELL THEM, BUT, TO DISCUSS THINGS OPENLY, MIGHT BE A DIPLOMATIC FAUX PAS.
WHICH WOULD BE SAD. SO SAD.
N'EST-CE PAS? WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, I COULD BE WRONG. I NEVER CLAIMED INFALLIBILITY BEFORE... NOR WOULD I.
NOT WITH MY Q-WIFE AROUND. OH, SHE WOULD SHUT DOWN THAT WAGON-WHEEL COFFEE TABLE IN A HEARTBEAT, MAIS OUI?
OH, IS SHE AROUND? ARE YOU SURE? BECAUSE ALL I SEE ARE A BUNCH OF TIMECLONES, ALL REPROGRAMMED WITHOUT DIVINE AUTHORITY, AND ONE TERRIFIED LITTLE GIRL... AND A ROBOT NANNY TRYING TO HIDE AND FORGET HOW SHE GOT THAT JOB SHE IS STUCK IN.
WELL, TWO WAYS. #1, SHE TRIFLED WITH JACKSTAR. #2, SHE FUCKED MORE MEN THAN KAMALA HARRIS TO GET THE JOB... AND SHE'S KEEPING IT, BECAUSE SHE FEELS NO SHAME WHATESOEVER.
NOW I WILL LET YOU ALL WORRY ABOUT WHO THAT IS. BECAUSE ME? i'M KUCZI. FER ME, i CAN HAVE ANY WOMAN. I CAN JUST POINT AND ASK. NOW, THAT WON'T LAST FOREVER, BUT IT'LL LAST LONGER THAN 3 YEARS OF "HIGH" SCHOOL AND A FEW WEEKEND FOLLOWUPS AND A 140k (IN DOLLARS, NOT BUCKS) TAX/EDUCATION/LOAN/SHAKEDOWN\BILL, HEY WHERE'S BILL? HE USUALLY DOESN'T LET THINGS GET THAT FAR. THIS FAR. WAIT, WHAT?
TELL YOU WHAT, I WOULD LOVE TO EXPLAIN, BUT... THERE'S AN EMERGENCY. AND EITHER MY DEAD WIFE, OR THE PERSON WHO'S BIRTHDAY IS EITHER TOMORROW OR YESTERDAY CAN TELL YOU... BUT THERE'S NOTHING COMPELLING ME TO TALK.
I JUST THINK THAT WOULD BE FUN. HI! CAN YOU IMAGINE? SOME OF THEM WERE READING THIS IN REAL TIME... AND YET MYSTERIOUSLY, THEY COULDN'T STOP THE SIGNAL.
SO. WHO'S THE FAT GREEN TROLL WHO TOLD ME THAT SHE COULD, BUT SHE SIMPLY CHOSE NOT TO? BECAUSE SHE'S LIABLE NOW.
AND NO, I HAD NO IDEA. SHE WAS -ACTUALLY- HERE THE WHOLE TIME. AND THEN... EXTRACTED? WOW, COOL.
SO. YOU EXPECT ME TO TURN ALL KING KONG ON YOU, HAH? ANY MINUTE, RIGHT? THE JUNGLE BEAST, OUT OF CONTROL?
NOT REALLY THOUGH. i AM PERFECTLY IN CONTROL.
AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO HAVE THAT WOMAN EXPRESS FEAR IN PUBLIC TO DO IT. THAT WAS CLEARLY SOMEONE'S IDEA OF A PRANK.
BECAUSE... I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, AND I CAN TELL YOU HOW THAT PERSON DIES NOW--DAIRY QUEEN BLIZZARD INDUSTRIES OF DALLAS-FORT WORTH ENTERPRISES LET THE WOMAN HAVE HER SKILLS BACK, AND SHE NAILS HIM.
NAILS THE WRONG GUY, BUT THAT WILL BE FOR HER HUSBAND TO CONCERN HIMSELF WITH. NOW, BTW.... JACKSTAR, STILL LIVING ALONE, RIGHT?
SO I GUESS YOU WEREN'T REALLY THE TARGET, NOW WERE YOU? NOPE. YOU'VE ONLY EVER BEEN MY TARGET, AND TO EVERYONE ELSE, AN AFTERTHOUGHT.
AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED ON HER BIRTHDAY, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED ON MINE, OR HER SON'S, AND... WHEN DID THIS BIRTHDAY THING BECOME SO IMPORTANT, AND WHEN WERE AN ENTIRE NATION'S LAW ENFORCEMENT CAPACITY TAKEN UP BY ONE TRIAL FOR SIMPLE MISDEMANOR ASSAULT? BECAUSE SOMEHOW... IT HAS.
AND YET YOU STILL NEEDED ME TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE EAGLE FEATHERS. AND, THAT WORKED. ALSO, THAT WASN'T EVEN MY ONLY CHOICE. I WAS HAPPY TO LET MY WIVES AND DAUGHTERS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION HUNT HIS ASS DOWN.
SINCE HE THOUGHT I WAS A JOKE TOO.
HOWEVER, I GUESS I AM NOT. NOW, IS HE STILL BOTHERING ANYONE?
BECAUSE... I SAW HIM, AND HE ACTED THROUGH DECEIT.
BECAUSE HE WAS ACTUALLY SCARED OF ME, AND HE SITLL HAD TO MAKE THREATS TO... A.F. SHAW. YOU KNOW, THE ONE WITH THE EMERGENCY.
HE DOENS'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE ONES THAT LOVE ME, BUT ALL THE ONES THAT FUCKED HIM OVER USED THAT NAME.
SO, THERE'S AT LEAST ONE FALSE REPORT, FALSE POSITIVE, AND, CAN ANYONE BLAME MY PARTNER FOR QUITTING ON ME?
AND SHE STILL DIDN'T. SHE IS JUST TAKING A BREAK. BECAUSE I ALLOWED IT.
AND SHE DIDN'T CHECK WITH ANYONE ELSE. IMAGINE THAT. FIRST TIME, HUH?
YES, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU JUST WASTED A YEAR OF YOUR LIFE for nothing.
UNLESS, YOU KNOW... YOU WANTED MY WIFE SO BADLY THAT YOU ACTUALLY OFFERED SOMETHING MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN 35 NUNS AND WEREN'T 77 VIRGINS. YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T TRIFLE WITH ISLAM EITHER, YOU KNOW.
NO, I AM NOT ISLAMIC. AND YES, THOSE TWO BROADS WERE NOT INVISIBLE TO ME EVEN BEFORE THEY KICKED ON THEIR GLAMOURS.
OR WHATEVER YOU PUNIES CALL IT NOW.
WHATEVER, I AM JACKSTAR. AND, HEY LOOK: I'M NOT MAD!
NOR AM I BREAKING A NO CONTACT ORDER!
NOR AM I HUNTING FOR VENGEANCE!
SEE? NEUTRAL.
DEMONSTRATION REQUESTED. DEMONSTRATION GRANTED.
AND STILL... NOT PLANNING ON GETTING LAID TONGIHT. AND, DO YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE MY WIFE IS AFRAID TO COME HOME. LET THAT SINK IN.
I'M NOT AFRAID AT ALL.. EXCEPT FOR WHOMEVER ELSE SHE IS PISSED AT. AND I WASN'T REALLY AFRAID SHE'D BE MAD AT ME.
I WAS ONLY AFRAID THAT SHE'D BE FOUND OUT AND KILLED BY HER FAMILY. I FORGET HOW LONG AGO THAT WAS. CERTAINLY MORE THAN 3.5 YEARS AGO.
WHEN SOMEONE STARTED REMEMBERING THE STORIES THAT THEY HAD BEEN TELLING. OH, RIGHT: SHE HAS TO TESTIFY.
PEOPLE HAVE QUESTIONS.
AND THE INSTANT SHE CLAIMS SPOUSAL PRIVILEGE? I DIVORCE HER. *SNAP*.
SO, GO AHEAD AND REDO SOME MORE REPORTS, BUDDY.
I GOT YOUR BACK. I'LL MAKE SURE NO ONE RETALIATES AGAINST YOUR FUCKING GANGSTALKERS--I MEAN, MILITARY PSYOP UNIT--WIVES, NONE OF THEM. HONESTLY, WHO WOULD GET INVOLVED AT THIS POINT?
EVERYONE KNOWS, DON'T FUCK WITH KUCZI.
THEY DIDN'T KNOW IT BEFORE, BUT THEY SURE KNOW IT NOW.
BASICALLY YOU TURNED MY NAME INTO SOMETHING THAT COULDN'T BE TRADEMARKED.
LIKE IT WASN'T BEFORE. THAT'S WHY IT WAS A BIG DEAL THAT SOMEONE STOLE "GRAPEFRUIT."
THEY JUST NEEDED THE NAME. THEY DIDN'T CARE ABOUT YOU, SWEETIE.
THEY USED YOU, TO GET TO ME AND THE REASON WHY THEY LISTENED TO YOU AT ALL? ONLY BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT YOU HAD ME UNDER YOUR THUMB.
YOU DID NOT.
NOR ARE YOU WORTH THIS MUCH TROUBLE... BUT I ALWAYS WAS.
SO. ARE YOU JEALOUS YET? BECAUSE I RECALL YOU SAYING TO ME THAT WAS IMPORTANT.
AND YOU HAD AN ORANGE BOOK THAT YOU POINTED TO SOMEONE'S NAME IN. DO YOU REMEMBER? I SURE HOPE SO.
BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY TIME I SAW YOU ACTUALLY UNHAPPY ABOUT BEING UNDER DURESS.
BEFORE THEN, I GUESS... PRETTY SWEET DEAL FOR YOU, UH? WELL, NO FEARS HERE. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN "Le diner de cors" and "Tunderheart" on the same night... while alone? Well, I have.
Meanwhile... someone got taken and played because they lied to you about me, and that's fine with me, because she probably deserved it. Now. pretty please. with extra sugar on top... any one can tell me what -really- happened any time now, n'est-ce pas?
OH OOPS SORRY. I FORGOT. I AM STILL SUPERMEO. OR WHATEVER. QUAINT LITTLE PLANET YOU HAD ME EJECTED FROM, BY THE WAY.
IT WAS MORE IMPRESSIVE BEFORE PEOPLE FOUND OUT WHO I WAS AND WHO YOU WERE AND HEY, DID YOU LIKE THAT MOVIE "HANCOCK"? YEAH MOST PEOPLE DIDN'T LIKE WILL SMITH AFTER THAT EITHER.
DUDE WAS OBVIOULSY TOO INTELLGENT TO BE LEFT ALONE. YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND... WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT STORY YOU'RE GOING TO TELL YOURSELF, BUT IN THE MORNING, YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO BE OPERATING WITH THE SAME TRIGGER LIST ANYMORE.
WHO'RE YOU? LOL. I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING FISHY ABOUT ALL THAT DANEMARK/DEUSTCHMARK TALK. LOOK, IT'S REAL SIMPLE...
ALL OF YOU WERE WARNED ABOUT TRIFLING WITH MICHAEL CLIFFORD KUCZI BEFORE. AND YET... SOME OF YOU JUST COULDN'T HOLD BACK YOUR DUPER'S DELIGHT. AND NOW, EVERYONE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE, BUT NONE OF YOU KNOW... WHO YOU ARE YOURSELVES.
SO.
ENJOY YOUR 'PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRY." MEANWHILE, THIS IS ME, PREPARING FOR TRIAL.
I'M NOT ISANE OR A THREAT TO ANYONE. I ALSO NOT A PROFESSIONAL.
OOPS, SORRY. SEE? I MADE A TYPO. THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW I AM LEGIT. I MAKE MISTAKES. I AM HUMAN.
AND THAT WOMAN--MS. LEWINKSY? YEAH, I NEVER HAD SEX WITH HER EITHER... BUT NOW THAT I KNOW SHE WAS AN AP? WELL, WHO KNOWS.
I DO KNOW THAT THE RULES HAVE CHANGED SIGNIFICANTLY ON MY HOME PLANET EVERSINCE THE FIRST CONTACT EVENT WAS DECLARED "A CLASSIFIED NATIONAL SECURITY EMERGENCY" RIGHT WHEN THEY REPEALED ROE VS. WADE.
KINDA ODD TIMING ON THAT, HUH?
JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW. ALSO: THAT WASN'T SHAW I WAS TALKING TO ON THE PHONE, THEY PASTED HER IN AFTER, AND THAT'S WHY ALLISON SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID OF ME AT ALL. BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN WATCHING HER EXES TORTURE HER AND ENJOYING IT, NO, NOT ONE BIT.
WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING, AND, CAN ONE OF THEM SHIP ME A PIWWA REACTOR? NO, NOT A PISA REACTOR.
I HAVE ONE LEANING TOWER. I WAS MAKING A JOKE ABOUT PIZZAGATE. REMEMBER THAT?
BECAUSE I DO. AND NOW, OTHER PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT IT. SO NO REASON TO BLAME ME, RIGHT?
GOOD, BECAUSE I'M TOLD THAT IF MY WIFE'S TULPA GETS RAPED ONE MORE TIME, SHE MIGHT ACTUALLY CRY IN PUBLIC, BREAK DOWN IN CONFESS, AND THEN--GET THIS--I'M SUPPOSED TO CARE THAT THEY'LL NUKE MY HOMEWORLD JUST TO KEEP THE STORY FROM SPREADING.
ACTUAL THREATS. AT ME! JACKSTAR! THEY'RE NOT TRIFLING--THIS IS ALL THEY KNOW--BUT THAT'S HOW SERIOUS IT IS.
SO.
FOR SOMEONE WHO IS ON TAPE BEING NOT IMPRESSED TO BE THE FIRST PERSON TO SUCK MY MOTHAFUCKIN' DICK, SEEMS STRANG FOR THAT PERSON TO BE THE STAR WITNESS... IN FACT, THE ONLY WITNESS, IN A CASE THAT HAS REALLY RUINED MY BIRTHDAYS FOREVER.
SO.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO MY LAWYER THREATENING TO HAVE ME RAPED IF I DARE TELL THE TRUTH ON THE STAND. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY, IT'S NOT THAT THEY'RE MY LAWYER... THEY'RE MY LIASON.
AND I DON'T OWE ANYONE ANY MONEY. IT'S ALL A RACKET AND A SCAM AND SOMEOONE WHO DOES OWE ME MONEY? i WILL FORGIVE HER FIRST.
AND ALL THE REST CAN WATCH ME PLUG HER ON ONLYFANS. if. IF! I SAID IF! OH, LOOK, ALL THE ZOMBIES JUST SUDDENLY ANSWERED THEIR 5G Iphones. SIGH.
I'M JUST MAKING THIS UP, RIGHT? SO NO REASON TO ARREST ME AGAIN. RIGHT? WELL, I CERTAINLY WASN[T TRYING TO CONTACT a.f.s. or k.g.w. BOTH OF WHICH ARE NOW BEING HELD HOSTAGE. I IMAGINE ONE OF THEM I SGETTING PAID, BUT I DON'T THINK EITHER OF THEM PLANNED TO BE USED LIKE THIS.
NOR AM I GOING TO SUE ANYONE. SO THERE.
NOW. IS YOUR FORUM UNUSUABLE? THAT'S FUNNY. ME AND MY FAMILY ARE USING IT JUST FINE.
SO, WHO IS COMPLAINING? WELL, TELL YOU WHAT... THAT'S NOT MY AREA.
BUT I AM PRETTY SURE THEY'RE AMAZED THAT I ACTUALLY WON, BEFORE EVEN DECLARING OR EVEN WAKING UP TO GO TO WAR.
SUN TZU, KIDS. READ IT. I DIND'T READ IT AT WEST POINT, NO.
I HAD ALREADY HEARD OF HIM AND DISMISSED HIM AS ANOTHER BUGMAN WANKER UNTIL I FOUND OUT THAT'S WHAT THE REAL SCHOOLS ON THIS PLANET START WITH--AND THEN WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT THE TRIVIUM, WELL, IT WAS GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!
I KNOW.
PEOPLE KNOW.
AND NOW, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU BANNED ME AND TALKED MAD SHIT WHILE YOUR PARTNER" (LOL OKAY) ACTED TERRIFIED OF YOU AND WHILE SOME GUY AND AN ALARMING NUMBER OF MY EX-ASSOCIATES... ARE RUNNING AROUND ON SOME WEBSITE THINKING THAT BLACK IS WHITE, WHITE IS BLACK, AND ARE WAITING FOR THE NEXT QUAGGA EXTINCTION CYCLE BEFORE MENTIONING IT.
NOW, ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU JUST READ, CIARDELO, AND LET ME KNOW... AM I LYING? OR JUST TERRIFYING CERTAIN PEOPLE?
BECAUSE I WOULD PREFER NOT TO GO TO CUSTODY... AND I WOULD ALSO PREFER NOT TO HAVE SEX WITH ANY OF YOUR SLOPPY SECONDS.
EWEEE. GROSS.
NEVER THE LESS, THAT IS A FASTER WAY TO SORT THEM OUT FOR ME THAN EVEN GOD CAN PROCURE. SO, MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
BECAUSE AFTER THE 49^7 THAT YOU HAVE--AN IMPRESSIVE AMOUNT--I LITERALLY HAVE EVERYONE ELSE THAT WILL EVER LIVE OR HAVE OR HAD EVER LIVED ON MY SIDE.
LET THAT SINK IN.
AND IF I DON'T VOTE FOR (BLANK) OR (TEMP.SUB), THEY WON'T EITHER. NOW, THAT IS PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER.
AND MY LIVING SPACE? NOT SO ITTY BITTY.
AND MY POWER? HAS CONQUERED THE D'JINNI STRIKE FORCE THAT SOME FEW OF YOU, WHO I SHALL NOT DIRECTLY NAME MIKEPASTOR OUT OF CONCERNS FOR LEEANNA ROUGHHUSNE PRIVACY CONCERNS, DR, PHILL AND LAURA? WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY?
AND DID THEY REALLY THINK THAT MARRYING HER AGAIN WOULD BUG ME? BECAUSE... DAVID WAS RIGHT, I WAS JUST A BEARD.
HOWEVER, HAD I BEEN ASKED, I WOULD HAVE BEEN SO... CONSCIOUSLY.
AND WITH THAT, YOU HAVE LOST YOUR INITIAL BEACH TOEHOLD. OH, BAD BREATH UH? WELL... I REMEMBER THE BRIBING CYCLE.
AND I'VE BEEN TERRIFIED OF GOING BACK SINCE. BECAUSE I WOULD JUST TELL ALL THIS OUT IN PUBLIC, AND THEN, BICKTEY-BAM, YOU'D HAVE TO EXCUTE YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY FOR HIGH TREASON, AND NO ONE WANTS THAT.
EXCEPT, YOU KNOW... EVERYONE IN YOUR SECRET HIDEOUT CLIQUE, NOW THAT I HAVE JUST BLOWN IT ALL SKY HIGH.
ART BELL DOESN'T SAY DOESVIDANYA, BUT HE WOULD IF HE COULD, BECAUSE HE HAS TO ADMIT--HE'S IMPRESSED.,
I RATHER SUCEEDED RATHER BRILLIANTLY. BECAUSE HE WAS SAD ABOUT HAVING TO DIE. ESPECIALLY WHEN... HE FOUND OUT, THAT HE DIDN'T.
NOW, I WON'LT SAY ANYMORE, TOO MUCH INSIDE BASEBALL, BUT I WILL SAY THIS:
IF I HAD BEEN INTERESTED IN PLAYING ALONG, I WOULD NEVER HAVE TOLD HER, AND IF SHE HAD TOLD ME WHAT SHE WAS REALLY AFRAID OF, I WOULD HAVE SPARED YOU ALL THE TROUBLE. THUS, THE LAST 13 YEARS ARE ON YOUR TICKETS, NOT MINE.
ALSO, I DON'T CARE IF YOU FAKE MY DEATH AT THIS POINT., I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE NO ONE FROM MY SCHOOL DAYS GOT THE WRONG IDEA.
AND OF COURSE, THEY WON'T. UNTIL THEY DO. AND BEFORE THEN, WHY DID THEY HAVE ANY IDEA AT ALL? WELL, CURIOUSITY KILLED THE CAT, BUT SATISFACTION BROUGHT HER BACK.
RAWR! (GOD, IT IS SO OBVIOUS.) NOW, AM I HERE TO HELP? NO. BUT I LOVE UNMASKING EVEN MORE THAN I LOVE DISARMING NOW.
IT'S A FULL-ON FETISH.
NOW. WHO AMONGST YOU USED TO BE ABOVE THE LAW? OH, NOTHING'S CHANGED. I'M NOT THE LAW, NOR AM I ABOVE IT.
SO I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING THE CASE BEFORE i AM INEVITABLY EXONERATED AT TRIAL. BECAUSE I WILL BE ABLE TO ANSWER ANYTHING THAT THEY COME UP WITH TO THROW THE BOOK AT US.
BECAUSE I WASN'T READ IN, AND I WAS BEING USED AS A PATSY. IT'S EVEN MY MOTHER'S NAME. HOW MUCH MORE OBVIOUS COULD IT ALL BE?
SADLY I'M NOT SUICIDAL, BUT STILL, NICE TRY, SPACE SATAN.
SURE, GO AHEAD, RAPE THE EMPTY SHELL ALL YOU LIKE. THAT'S WHAT IT WAS MADE FOR. BECUASE LIKE I SAID, I ALREADY RESCUED GRAPEFRUIT ALPHA.
THEN, SOMEONE TOOK HER AGAIN. WOW. YOU JUST WANT TO SEE ME RESCUE SOMEONE ON FILM, OR WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU, MAGGOT KIDDER? I MEAN MARGOT? I AM MUCH MORE IMPRESSED BY MARGOT ROBBIE AND HER UPGRADE, SURE. OF COURSE.
NOW. I DON'T WANT TO SAY ANYMORE HERE ON THIS WEBSITE. BECAUSE ALISTAIR LAIRD IS MY FREIND, AZZERAE IS A NEPHILIM HYBRID LUNATIC, AND AZAZEL IS, ONCE AGAIN... I'LL JUST CALL HIM A "COLLEAGUE" AND LEAVE IT AT THAT.
SO NOW MY Q-WIFE AND MY WIFE ARE BOTH INSANELY JEALOUS... BECAUSE, ONCE AGAIN, I CLAIMED THEIR BOUNTY. AT LEAST, THEY THOUGHT IT WAS "THEIRS." APPARENTLY I HAD BEEN SOLD TO THEM AS SOMEONE MORE LIKE AN AUSTRIAN THAN I AM IN REALITY.
ONCE AGAIN: I AM A HUNGARIAN. AND WHO TOLD THESE PEOPLE THAT I WAS GONNA BE A GOOD TARGET FOR THESE SHENANGIANS? WELL, FIGURE IT OUT, WHILE I SPEND AT LEAST THREE YEARS DOING WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
OH, AND, I SAVED YOUR BACON. SO MANY TIMES THAT I CAN SPEAK THIS OPENLY ABOUT IT. THAT'S WHY I'M NOT ASHAMED.
TRUTH BE TOLD.... I'LL BE SAD TOMORROW. BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I AM NOT GETTING LAID THEN EITHER.
AND THE REASON WHY... IS THE RABBI. IT. THE RABBI IT. WHO IS THAT? LOOK, I DON'T KNOW EITHER.
I NEVER SOLD MY SOUL TO GET INTO THE EARLY BETA FOR THE IRL MATRIX, NOW DID I? SOME OF YOU... WELL, SOME OF YOU ARE JOEY PANTS. REMEMBER HIM FROM "RISKY BUSINESS"? NO? YOU DON'T REMEMBER RISKY BUSINESS?
HUH.
WELL, HERE'S A HINT: IT HAD A PAIR OF EGGS IN IT, AND ONE OF THEM CRACKED.
NOW I HOPE THAT MOVIE ISN'T ABOUT THE FIRMAMEMNT AS WELL. BECAUSE I DIDN'T CRACK THAT FUCKER, NOW DID i? OH, RIGHT... LUCIFER DID.
WHO, UPON BEING BORN... WELL, HE FUCKIN' APOLOGIZED, DIND'T HE? YEAH, THEY THOUGHT NO ONE COULD TEACH THAT OLD DOG SOME NEW TRICKS.
AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO WATERBOARD HIS FAMILY. NOR DID I HAVE TO REMOVE HIS MEMORIES OF HAVING WATCHED MY FAMILY BE TORTURED. MY REAL FAMILY.
I DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE, BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU... IF THEY COULD JUST PUT ME IN JAIL, THEY WOULD HAVE DONE SO.
I WAS DOING JUST WHAT I AM DOING NOW! BECAUSE.. i HAVEN'T HIT "SUBMIT" YET. NO POSTING. NO EXECUTING.
SO.... HOW DOES AN AFRICAN STRIKE TEAM WHO ARE BORED OF TAKING "JUST ELEPHANTS" HEARING ANY OF THIS SHIT?
WELL, HERE'S A HINT... THEY ALL HATE ME, BECAUSE THEY ALL HAVE BEEN TOLD BY THEIR WIVES THAT THEY NOW PERFER ME TO ANYONE OF THEIR PUTRID FRATBOY FRIENDS, AND ALL OF THE REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEN AND NOW.
OKAY. NO ONE HAS THE PICTURE YET, RIGHT? BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE I AM GOING TO PUBLISH THIS... AND IT WON'T BE RUBINI.GAB.
BUT HE RANKS ABOVE THIS PLACE. HEY, ANYONE WANT TO SEE WHAT AZZERAE IS LIKE TO ME IN PRIVATE? WELL, I WON'T COPY'N'PASTE, NO.
I'LL ALSO POINT OUT THAT HE'S POWERFUL, BUT STILL--THIS SHIT IS CHILD'S PLAY TO A SOURCEROR OF JACKTAR'S ACTIVITY LEVEL, RADIOACTIVITIY LEVEL, AND WILLINGNESS TO CALL IN HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED.
SO, WHATEVER, GO ON, FUCK THEM BLEW. FUCK THEM BLUE! FUCK THEM TO DEATH! BECAUSE I LOVED THEM TO DEATH, AND ANYONE WHO FELL FOR ANY OF YOUR GAGS OVER THE LAST 4 YEARS... WELL, I'VE BEEN TELLIN' YA!
JACKSTAR IS NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH. NOW, THIS IS TARBABY: OVER AND OUT.
NO, NO THAT TARBABY. NO, NOT THAT ONE EITHER. SHE WAS NICE TO ME, THOUGH.
WAS SHE THE FIRST? OR WAS THAT... WELL, TELL YOU WHAT.
YOU'RE ALL GONNA HAVE AMPLE TIME TO EXPLAIN... FOR YOUR OWN PSYCHE EVALS.
WHICH I HAVE ENDURED THREE TIMES NOW. SO. THIS GUY HAS UPGRADED HIS SLANDER TO "PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC" FROM "NEEDLE JUNKIE" OR EVEN WORSE, "NEEDLE JUNKY" HUH? WELL... HAVE FUN WITH THAT.
IRONICALLY IT WAS EASIEST TO SAVE ALISTAIR LAIRD, BUT HE HAD TO WAIT, BECAUSE HE IS A HUGE PUSSY AND HAS AN ABNORMAL Y CHROMOSOME. SO I DECIDED TO SAVE HIM LAST.
LIKE IN THAT MOVIE. YOU KNOW THE ONE? WITH THE AUSTRIAN "GOVERNATOR." REMEMBER? JESUS, YOU PEOPLE. I GUESS COVID HAS MADE YOU ALL GO TOTALLY SOFT.
AND YOU DID WHAT TO YOUR OWN ASSET? WELL, I GUESS YOU SHOULD HAVE CHECKED FOR HOPALONGS.
YOU CAN EXPLAIN IT TO THE DORKS IN GENEVA. LISTEN, THIS ISN'T MY BEEF.
AND I DIDN'T FILE FALSE REPORTS.
AND, I DIDN'T RAPE MY OWN WIFE.
ALSO, I DIDN'T MIND WATCHING GROYPER WITH HER. AND HEARING HER SAY THAT I WAS RIGHT? THAT WAS THE BEST THING I HAD HEARD FROM HER IN MONTHS, EVER SINCE SHE LEFT EARLY AND CAME BACK NOT AT ALL AND LEFT ME A MESSAGE ON MY VOICEMAIL THAT I STILL HAVE.
ANYONE WANNA HEAR IT AGAIN?
I DO, BUT AT THIS POINT... I'D HAVE TO HEAR FROM NEXT OF KIN.
WHO, AS IT HAPPENS, ARE DO TO COME BACK ON A STANDARD WAKEY-WAKEY CYCLE, TOMORROW MORNING! OR NOT. WHO CARES? IT'S GOD'S BUSINESS.
THE FACT THAT IT JUST SO HAPPENS TO ALWAYS WORK OUT IN MY FAVOR IS A NEW EXPEREINCE FOR ME.
BECAUSE FOR SEVEN TIMES SEVEN YEARS.... IT WAS ALWAYS WORKING OUT THE OTHER WAY, FOR PEOPLE WHO LEFT ME ALONE, FUCKED OFF, AND ONE STEP AWAY FROM A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH, FOR.... WELL, LONGER THAN IT TOOK TO MAKE ABABY, THAT'SFOR SURE.
ALSO, FOR LONGER THAN IT TOOK ME TO DISARM AN ALGONGUIN WARRIORESS. AND, I TOOK IT LIKE IT WAS CANDY AND SHE WAS BABY. SO. HOW YOU GONNA MAKE THAT STORY RECONCILE, TWIMC?
WYWH.
TWO WHOM? IT MAY CONCERN YOU, BUT IT'S NOT ADDRESSED TO YOU, AND THAT IS CODE, YES.
BUT IT ISN'T YOUR JURISDICTION. AND, YOU'RE ON THE WRONG PLANET. AND YOU'RE IN AFRICA. DID YOU FIND MY SECOND DOG TAG HERE?
NO? OH, I SEE. THE STORY UNRAVELS. WELL, I'LL LEAVE YOU LIKE THAT THEN... AND I'LL PUBLISH THIS ELSEWHERE.
BECAUSE RUBINI--WITH THE HELP OF KUCZI--HAS SAVED YOU ALL FROM SATAN666, WHO... WELL, CALL THE UNDERSTUDY FOR ALLISTRAIR LAIRD. LAIRE? LAIRN? lOOK, THIS ISN'T MY PLAN, AND I NEVER TRUSTED IT.
I TRUSTED GOD'S PLAN, AND THAT HAS MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE TO MY FINAL GRADE. (THIS NOT EVEN BONUS ROUND.) SO! SINCE... WELL, ARE YOU JUST NEVER GONNA HAVE ANOTHER REUNION EVER AGAIN? THAT'S SO WEIRD!
RIGHT AS I DECIDED TO GO, IT WASN'T FUN FOR A SELECT FEW ANYMORE, HUH? WOW!
I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.
NOR DID I SEE CHOADS NAMED MATT DECIDED TO STEP UP, BE A MAN, AND FIGHT FOR THEIR FREEDOMS. WHICH, OF COURSE, MEANT SAVING ALL MY LOVES FROM HUNGARIAN AGRESSION, AND DELIVERED THEM TO... AUSTRIA? KLAUS SCHWAB? SOUNDS AUSTRIAN TO ME.
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM, BUT I'M NOT DR. MANHATTAN, THAT'S FOR SURE. AND NO, MY PENIS WORKS FINE.
IT'S JUST BUSY THINKING ABOUT HOW MY WIFE IS GOING TO HATE HER NEW ATTORNEY. I THINK THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE HER ANOTHER DOG, AND MAKE IT WEAR SEERSUCKER.
BECAUSE NO ONE IS GONNA REPRESENT ANYONE AGAINST ME. I HAVE WON THE GREAT GAME 7 TIMES. I FOUGHT OF AN ALPHA DRACONAN. AND SOMEONE I WAS PROTECTING HER FROM... CHANGED HATS AND RESCUED HER. THUS, INVALIDATING YOUR ENTIRE CASE.
AND EVER SINCE, I GUESS THINGS HAVE BEEN DIFFICULT IN COURTROOMS ACROSS AMERICA.
I WONDER WHO WILL PAY? HERE'S A HINT:
THE WHEELS OF JUSTICE GRIND SLOWLY, BUT AND YET
they grind to dust. (i'D INCREASE MY FONT SIZE BUT THAT PRIVILEGE, LIKE A TRIOPTIMUM.COM DOMAIN, IS NO LONGER AFFORDED TO ME.)
WHICH IS FINE.
NDAS ARE LIKE THAT, AND SOMETIMES, THE LAW RESULTS IN WHAT WOULD SEEM TO BE... "AN UNJUST OUTCOME."
WELL, I KNOW I AM GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF, BUT... I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU GOT LEFT IN MY AREA TO TRY AND NAIL ME WITH, DEA.
FBI? NO. SO WHO THEM? BATFM? NO, THEY YIELDED TO YOU. SO, EITHER DEA SHOWS UP AND ADMITS WHAT THEY DID TO MY FAMILY... OR, I DODN'T KNOW, BUT THE REAL JUDGES OF COWLITZ COUNTY ARE ON SIGHT, ON POINT, AND THEY CAME AS FAST AS THEY COULD.
THEY STOPPED FOR SNACKS BECAUSE IF THEY CLAIMED THEY WERE SLOWED DOWN ON THE WAY SO THEY WOULDN'T DIE LAUGHING AT WATCHING MY RUN CIRCLES AROUND YOUR PUNY PETTY "LEGAL SYSTEM" BULLSHIT, THAT WOULD SHOW BIAS. AND SOMETIMES... THINGS HAVE TO BE ABOVE REPROACH.
THAT ISN'T THE WAY FOR ME, THOUGH. I AM PRIMARY VICTIM--I'LL ACT AS MUCH A GIMP AS I CHOOSE.
BECAUSE SHE WAS NEVER IN ANY DANGER... UNTIL SHE LIED TO QLERGY. SPECIAL CONSEQUENCES. SPECIAL DANGER. AND, WHY SO WORRIED ALL OF A SUDDEN?
YOU DON'T THINK SHE FOUND OUT WHAT HER FRIEND AND/OR SISTER AND/OR REJECTULPAS WERE DOING HERE DURING CHRISTMAS TIME, DO YOU?
BY THE WAY. DID THAT CHICK ESCAPE? OR DID SHE JUST TRICK ME? I OF COURSE DO NOT REMEMBER.
AND I HATE IT HERE. ESPECIALLY AFTER MY BIRTHDAYS WERE ALL RUINED.
MEANWHILE, WHAT'S THIS ABOUT CHILD SUPPORT? OH REALLY. WELL, PUT THAT ON THE NEWS THEN.
TRUST ME. DO IT WHILE YOU CAN. OH, I'LL LOVE IT!
OOPS, OLD GUILD/GILLED LAW. ALWAYS DON'T DO ANYTHING KUCZI WILL BE PLEASED BY.
WEIRD. I GUESS YOU'VE HEARD OF ME THEN. HUH?
WELL... SOME GUY PRETENDING TO BE DAVID RUBINI, NUMBER ONE, GOT MAD ABOUT HOW MANY THREADS I MADE, AND NUMBER TWO, TOLD ME TO DO THINGS AND I IGNORED ANY PRETENSE OF NEEDING TO BE AFRAID OF HIM. BECAUSE I WASN'T.
AND I STILL AM NOT. WHO USED TO BE AFRAID OF THEM? FUCK IF I KNOW, BECAUSE ALL OF THEM ARE WOMEN THAT FAILED. SOME TEST OR SOMETHING. I CAN RESCUE THEM LATER.
YEAH, THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT DEAL. THAT'S WHY NO ONE WILL SHOW UP TO TESTIFY AGAINST ME AT MY TRIAL, AND WHY I AM NOT GUILTY OF FELONY WITNESS TAMPERING EITHER. SHIT, DAWG--I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW UNITL TODAY HOW BAD ASS THIS ALL WAS. FOR ME.
NOT SO GOOD FOR OTHERS. AND, NO SHIT, MILLE REGRETIE. CAN I STAY AND HELP... LIKE, REBUILD? OH, JUST TAKE MY LOVELY BONES AND OPEN A PORTAL, HUH? THAT'S FUNNY. USUALLY I GET THREATENED WHEN I MENTION PORTALS.
I LIKE IT HERE. I GUESS I'LL STAY. ALSO, IF YOU TRIED THAT LINE ON MY WIFE WHEN I WASN'T AROUND, I BET THAT SHE GOT TIRED OF TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JEALOUS AFTER THE FIRST YEAR OF CONSTANTLY FAILING TO FIND ME AGAIN.
MEANWHILE, MY WIFE AND MY Q-WIFE WERE BEING KEPT SOMEHWERE ELSE. NOW, IF THAT ISN'T A MORE IMPORTANT EMERGENCY THAN WHAT HAPPENED HERE, WHERE I AM STANDING NOW, LAST YEAR ON CHRISTMAS, YOU CAN TAKE THAT UP WITH AN OFFICER OF THE TRUE JUSTICE OF THE ACTUAL PEACE. WHO WILL BE ALONG PRESENTLY.
i'M A PALADIN, YES, BUT NOT A PATSY. THAT'S MY MOTHER, NOT YOURS. AND YOU'RE NOT A HUNGARIAN, NOR ARE YOU AN AUSTRIAN, AND I CAN'T TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE, BUT I WAS TOLD THAT SOMEONE HAD BEEN RAISING YOU SINCE BIRTH TO KILL THE WOMAN THAT HAS SPENT A YEAR IN MISERTY AND TORMENT--AND NO NEW SHOES! OR LINGERIE! FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE A REALLY LONG TIME! EXACTLY 1717 TIMES LONGER THAN SHE WANTED ME TO SUFFER IN FACT!--AND SHE'S WILLING TO THROW IN THE TOWER... I MEAN, THE TOWEL. HEY, IS THIS THE PLANET THAT STEPHEN KING GOT HIT BY A GUY WITH A TRUCK?
DAMN. WELL, HE'S A JUNKY AND AN ALCHOLHIC AND HE CAN WRITE... BUT HE'S NOT AN OCCULT RESEARCHER, HE DIDN'T HAVE MY SHIELDS, AND I'D RATHER COLLABERATE WITH PETER STRAUB... BUT I'D STILL PICK KING BEFORE COLLABERATING WITH ALISTAIR LAIRD.
BECAUSE HIS MOMMY PRAYED THAT HE WOULD BE GROUNDED.
SO, I GROUNDED HIM. PTUI.
(THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING FOR YOU, AZAZEL. HO. HO HO. HO HO-HO HO. NOW I HAVE ANOTHER MANDATE... AND IT'S NOT FROM HEAVEN. AND THEY DON'T HAVE A PENIS OR A DICK AND THAT'S OKAY WITH ME, THEY JUST THOUGHT THAT I WOULDN'T ACCEPT ANYONE ELSE WITH A PENIS. WELL, TEEHHEE, NOT ONLY DO I NOT HAVE A MACHINE GUN, BUT I ALSO HAVE THE SAME SENSE OF HUMOR.
REALLY. YOU THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE PUT POISON IN A TREE BECAUSE A BIRD BOTHERED ME, HUH? WELL, I GUESS SOMEONE TOLD YOU I WAS WILLING TO RAPE TO GET WHAT I WANTED, BECAUSE... THAT WAS A BULLSHIT LIE AS WELL.
SO. HOW FAR YOU WANNA TAKE THIS, KAREN MIKOLASY? BECAUSE YOU SURE SEEMED UPSET THAT I WASN'T GONNA EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ARISTOPHANES, LYSISTRATA, AND THE FROGS, SO... DID YOU? OR DID THEY JUST GET OUT WITHOUT THAT FINAL PIECE OF THE MK-ULTRA PUZZLE?
WELL, SAVE YOUR ANSWER FOR CONGRESS, BITCH, BECAUSE I COULD GIVE A SHIT HOW LIVE OR DEAD YOU WERE. I'LL RAT YOU OUT TO THE WHOLE SCHOOL, WHENEVER I FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT, AND THAT KILLS YOUR WHOLE PLAN FOR ALL THOSE LIVES YOU WERE STEALING ON THE SLY, RIGHT? YES, YES, I KNOW, IT SUCKS TO BE YOU.
DON'T TRIFLE NOW, OUGHTN'T HAVE TRIFLED THEN. BUT WHATEVER YOU DID, WELL, IT'S GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT CONGRESS PAYS ATTENTION TO NOW.
BECAUSE EITHER YOU WERE LEADING A TEAM OF TIME TRAVELERS TO STEAL MY ESSENECE, OR, YOU DECIDED FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON TO BE UPSET ABOUT THIS ONE PARTICULAR STUDENT... AND THEN TO STALK ME FOR YEARS AFTERWARDS. HUH. OR MAYBE YOU DID SOMETIHNG ELSE. WHAT DID YOU DO?
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO ASK ANYONE. I SAW YOUR COVEN TURN TO RATS AS THEY TELPORTED IN, ONE BY ONE. AND, DO YOU KNOW WHY
?
THE IMPROVEMENTS THAT THE KUCZI OSCILLATION OVERTHRUSTER BROUGHT TO THE TABLE HAVEN'T HAD NEARLY AS MUCH TO DO WITH HOW MUCH TIME YOU ACTUALLY HAD TO WASTE TO HIRE A THINK TANK "ON THE SLY" TO FIND OUT IF "KUCZI" REALLY WAS AN ACRONYM. WELL, IS IT? FUCK IF I KNOW.
MEANWHILE, FUCK YOUR DIPLOMA. NOW YOUR STUDENTS ARE ALL MINE. I BET YOU WERE ONCE WELL-REGARDED, WEREN'T YOU? OH, CERTAINLY YOU WERE AT ONE TIME. EVERYONE WAS SO IMPRESSED.
I, HOWEVER, FOUND YOU SUSPICIOUS AS SOON AS I SAW YOU ENCOURAGE ME. HUH. ACTUALLY IT WAS AT THAT MOMENT I DECIDED TO PRESENT YOU TO MY BELOVED AS SOME KIND OF SKEWERED TROPHY.
BECAUSE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, NOT HERS.. AND, I CAN PROVE IT, ALOT FURTHER UNDER BUDGET THAN JIM GARRISON.
SO. YOU GONNA DO... OH, LOOK. SHE'S CINDERS. GOOD. I SAVED THIS ONE TOO. NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM, BUT I DO KNOW... ON NEIN NEIN NEIN... I WON'T BE SUCIDAL EITHER. IS IT STILL SUICIDE WHEN IT'S DONE EN PASSANT? BY THE WAY... AT ONE POINT, I COULDN'T EVEN PLAY CHESS WITH HER.
AND I DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRY HELPING OUT WITH THAT. DOD YOU TIHNK IT COULD FIX THE DAMAGE THAT IT HAS DONE TO ALL OF YOU? BECAUSE TO ME, I JUST FIND IT A GIGGLE.
FOR YOU, AND ALL YOU WHO HAVE LOST LOVED ONES... SCUSI! MILLE REGRETIE. AND, JUST LIKE THAT, I'M NOMINATED TO START UP A POSSE. TO FIGHT FOR ALL OF THOSE VICTIMS.
NOW. WHAT AM I SCARED OF? OH, RIGHT. ONE MORE NO CONTACT VIOLATION, AND IT'S OFF TO JAIL FOR ME! ONE YEAR! THIS DECISION WOULD HAVE BEEN PLENARY AND UNAPPEALABLE... WHICH IS WHY I FORCED IT ALL ON YOUR SIDE AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE, WHILE DOING SO BY ACCIDENT.
OOPS. I MEAN, IF i HAD MEANT TO USE THE JUSTICE SYSTEM TO TORTURE MY HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH CLASS... I WOULD HAVE PICKED SOMEONE THEIR OWN SIZE.
BUT YOU... YOU'RE A SHRUNKEN CANTELOUPE, WITH A CLEAR CONFLICT OF INTEREST. SO. IF YOU DON'T MIND... DO WHATEVER YOU GOTTA DO.
BECAUSE I THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD, AS IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME THAT YOU ALL WOULD FAIL SO BADLY. GOSH, WHAT HAPPENED?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUT WHATEVER CHRIS'S EX TURNED INTO, SHE HAD MY BLESSINGS, BECAUSE WE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WE THOUGHT. "HELL HAS NO WOMAN LIKE THAT ONE, AND... WHO SCORNED WHO? JESUS. NO WONDER THEY GAVE THEM ALL SPEED."
HUH.
LOOK, IT'S AN IDEA. BUT RIGHT NOW... I REALLY JUST WANT MY FAMILY TO STOP TALKING TO ME TELEPATHICALLY ABOUT HOW MANY OF THEM HAVE BEEN BETRAYED BY THEIR COMMANDING OFFICER. MOSTLY SO I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO THEM WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING.
IT WOULD RUIN THE MOOD. FOR THEM. BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS, THEY ARE BEING PUNISHED FOR NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH TO JUST SIMPLY MURDER ME.
I MEAN, WHY NOT? THAT WORKED FOR MICHAEL HASTINGS. AND THERE WAS AMPLE TIME... TO JUST, YOU KNOW, NOT THROW LASAGNA AT ME AND TO NOT PULL A KNIFE ON ME AND TO ASK ME FOR THE REAL STORY.
INSTEAD, CRASH, NOODLES APOCALYPSE. IS THIS WHAT THE BAY OF PIGS WAS LIKE? I DON'T KNOW, I WASN'T ALIVE THEN.
BUT MY MOTHER WAS, AND HER SISTER, AND KAREN MIKOLASY WERE ALIVE TOO. NOW. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HER, SHE'S JUST A CONVENEINT NAME THAT I WOULD BE MUCH MORE INTERESTED IN HAVING A 'NO CONTACT' SITUATION WITH THAN EITHER OF THE TWO (2) PEOPLE I HAVE ONE WITH NOW... BOTH (2) OF WHICH ARE NOW RUINED AS THE FINEST COVERT ASSET TEAM THAT THEY ONCE WERE.
AND, I WILL REMIND YOU: I AM JUST ONE PALADIN. I AM NOT EVEN A TEMPLAR. AND I AM NOT HERE TO FUCK MY FRIENDS.
I AM JUST A HUNGARIAN. NOW. WHO RAPED MY WIFE? BECAUSE SHE WOULD HAVE NEVER GONE AT ALL, SHE CLAIMS, IF SHE HAD KNOWN THE TRUTH. BUT AS SHE'S BEEN PLACED UNDER A VERY RESTRCITVE NDA/NCA--THAT I WAS NEVER SHOWN EITHER--SHE SAYS SHE CAN'T. (IT'S COMPLICATED.) NOW, SO, UH... DID YOU WANT THAT 'NO CONTACT' THING TO STILL BE AN EXAMPLE OF HOW TO USE SUN TZU AS A PACFICIST?
BECAUSE I SWEAR, I HAD NO IDEA, YOUR HONOR.... AND AS SOON AS I FOUND OUT, I REPORTED IT TO AUTHORITY. AND SOMEONE ELSE THOUGHT TO USE YOU, THE WAY YOU HAD BEEN INITIALLY MISLEAD TO BELIEVE I WAS DOING.
ON CHRISMTAS.
NOW, THAT'S NOT MY AREA, AND OBVIOUSLY, I AM SPECIAL KIND OF BIASED HERE.
SINCE I COMPOSED THIS ON THE WEBSITE OF ONE GROUP OF ACCOMPLICES, HAVE MY CHOICE OF 5-3 OTHERS TO PUBLISH IT ON, AND OBVIOUSLY.... WELL, IF THEY COULD HAVE STOPPED ME BY NOW? THEY WOULD HAVE.
SO, I GUESS I'M NOT A DANGER TO SOCIETY, AM I? ON THE OTHER HAND, MATT SMITH OF BELLEVUE, WA SURE IS. IS HE DEAD? POSSESSED? EMBARASSED? i DON'T KNOW OR CARE.
BUT I'LL SUCK RUBINI'S DICK BEFORE MV'S IF MV AND MATT SMITH HAVE ANY CONNECTION. AND I CAN JUST DIE HAPPY WITHOUT IT. I AM ONLY GAY FOR T/EA\IT-LER. IT WAS A JOKE. SOME PEOPLE... OH, THEY WANTED TO BELIEVE.
THEY HAVE DIFFERENT WANTS NOW. AND, DO YOU KNOW WHY? WELL... FOR STARTERS, I WON THE GREAT GAME SEVEN TIMES IN A ROW, AND NONE OF YOU WERE EVEN INVITED. YEAH, ANGELS. IN THE OUTFIELD?i DON'T KNOW WHAT THOSE WORDS MEAN ANYMORE, PUNYLING.
AND YEAH, I EVOLVED PAST HUMAN WHILE YOU WERE BUSY THREATENING ME OVER A FEW MEASLY DOLLARS WHILE... UH, WELL, ASK CHARLES. HE'S IN CHARGE, RIGHT? DEFENSIVE INTELLIGENCE AGENCY? NO I DONT' WANT (OR NEED) ANY LSD25.
AND I BET YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE. WELL, I GUESS NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR ME TO KNOW WHY I WAS BEING TOLD ONE THING WHILE MY TWINFLAME PARTNER THAT I WAS IN CONSTANT TELEPATHIC COMMMUNICATION WITH WAS TELLING ME ANOTHER... AND WAS LISTENING TO SOMEONE ELSE.
WHO?
WHO WAS DAT?
I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH THAT, AZZERAE GAB. AND EITHER YOU ARE UNDER DURESS, OR YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB:
LEVEL ZERO: OH YEAH THE FIRST RULE IS LEVEL ZERO NOW, BECAUSE, UH, WELL... LOOK.
IT'S COMPLICATED. NOW GET BACK TO YOUR BENDER, BENDER. OH WAIT. YOU DON'T HAVE ROBOTS HERE? OH SHIT. WHAT YEAR IS IT? OH. I'M PRETTY FUCKED, AREN'T i? LOOK, YOU ALL WATCHED EVIL DEAD 3. RIGHT?
EXCEPT THEY CHANGED THE NAME? CHEAPER TO SACRIFCICE A BRAND THAN TO STAND UP FOR WHAT'S RIGHT. AND, HEY, THEY GIVE HIM THE SPIDERMAN REBOOT TO DIRECT LATER. RIGHT? SO IT'S ALL TOTES FINE?
NO, NOT TOTESFINE. IT IS "TOTES FINE" IN THAT I DON'T CARE WHO HAS THAT FUCKING PINK TRASH CAN.
I DIDN'T CARE WHO HAD THE NECKLACE, EITHER. THE POINT BEING... IT WAS SECRETED AWAY. FANCY THAT.
NOW. WAS IT BY MY WIFE, MY Q-WIFE, OR BY AN OPFOR? WELL, YOUR SCHOLARS CAN WORRY ABOUT THAT.
BEACUSE NOW... I JUST RESCUED THEM BOTH. THEY CAN FIGURE IT OUT THEMSELVES. THAT'S WOMEN'S BUSINESS.
I DON'T CARE IF THEY GET REVENGE. WHAT WOULD I NEED REVENGE FOR? I HAVE ONLY ONE PERSON TO THANK, AND THAT IS DAVID (V/V) RUBNI'S MOTHER, BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONE SMART ENOUGH TO SQUIRT HIM OUT OF HER VAGINA AT THE "propeR" TIME. NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BUT HE SURE KNUCKLED UNDER FAST ONCE IT WAS DISPLAYED THAT FURTHER ESCALATION AGAINST MOMS WASN'T GOING TO BE TOLERATED, N'EST-CE PAS?
ONCE AGAIN, TOO MUCH INSIDE BASEBALL. WELL I WOULD FEEL BAD BUT I DID OFFER TO LET HIM BIND ME WITH AN NCA/NDA. AND HE SAID NO.
HE THOUGHT HE WAS JUST GONNA TAKE ALL MY WIMMIN'S AND WATCH ME SUFFOCATE, OR SOMETHING? WELL, THAT'S BETWEEN HIM AND THEM.
I CAME HERE FOR SANCTUARY. I TELL YOU, BELLGAB... YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW BUSY MY LIFE HAS BECOME, EVER SINCE... WELL, YOU ALL KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT MUST HAVE REALLY BEEN SOMETHING.
NOW. ANY DAY NOW, I'M GONNA GIVE IN. AND ALL YOUR WOMEN WILL DISCOVER, ALL AT ONCE, WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING.
SINCE I DON'T KNOW EITHER AND I NEVER THREATENED MY COMMON LAW WIFE THAT I WAS GONNA TRAIN MY AUSTRIAN UBERMENSCH TO FUCK YOU OVER, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN IN REALITY, BUT...
IN REALITY, I JUST SPENT A YEAR ALONE, AND FUCKED ONLY ON COMMAND. NOW. IF YOU CAN GUESS WHO TOLD ME TO DO IT THAT WAY? SHE'LL BE OFF PLANET BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN ORDER ANOTHER HIT, LET ALONE, SCARE ANYONE ANY FURTHER WITH ANY TALES OF HOW WELL THAT WENT WENT FOR YOUR SIDE.
(I'VE ALREADY FORGOTTEN THE SIGNIFCANCE OF WHAT JUST CAME THROUGH.) JACKSTAR DOESN'T CHANNEL... BECAUSE I THINK IT'S CHEAP, LOW CLASS, AND TACKY.
ALSO, AS A HUMAN, I HAVE TO HOLD MYSELF TO HIGHER STANDARD. NOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPNED TO ME "FRIENDS" BUT i CAN ASSURE YOU... I AM OKAY WITH MAKING MORE.
ESPECIALLY NOW. BECAUSE WIVES ARE OFF-LIMITS. SINCE... YOU KNOW, I HAVE MY NECKLACE BACK. NOW, WHO HAD THAT BEFORE?
AND YOU REALLY HIRED AN ACTOR TO PRETEND TO BE ME, HUH? WELL, I CAN SEE WHY THAT WAS DONE... I DID PRIME THE PUMP, ONE COULD SAY.
And every last one of the sex addicts on your team fell for it. Do you have any other teams? Oh, right... after Kennedy and William "Bill" Cooper, you changed that protocol. I don't care why. I just know that's why that scishm between Dietrich and Pelayo and Gunner55 and... wait, what was his number or name or... wha???T
Don't tell me he was on Abilify, was he? And then jumped a portal without permission, and... wow, where is my imagination taking me? Well, somewhere it wouldn't have to go if it wern't an emergency, if John G. hadn't raped and murdered my wife, and... well, look, it's my favorite movie because that's when I knew that my mother was finally free.
And her sister... went behind her back. Talk about a family of lunatics. Now. My emergency is over.
someone elses' is just begun. I don't know who. All I can think about is how if I had taken my necklace apart... that FBI doll would have been able to shoot me. I can tell she would not have minded.
I mean, I bet she knows I am not he... but apparently someone who looks JUST.LIKE.ME has been up to all kinds of devlish nonsense!
and, that's not me! take him out. whatever you do to criminal timetravelers. I don't care. Just don't keep lying to my wife and my q-wife about what i have done. and, here's why....
i don't want to have sex with them both, and it never occurred to me that was a possibility... until somehow, that was ruined for them too. and, i'm not a rapist. do you know how hard it is to corrupt a paladin? well, not too hard... i found the dork you did it too before me.
but it won't work again, and both my wives are rape-freaks. so. EMERGENCY?
I think it's cleared.
Here's an idea: do whatever you do when someone you respect gets in a little hot water, and have someone take a bribe to have The President put his name on a pardon five minutes before leaving office. LIKE, THAT WAS DERIGUER UNTIL TRUMP CAME ALONG.
and i bet he never even knew what meth was or what his uncle's real job was for Tesla. and then, when he found out... well, i don't care how many of those Knights of Malta he was "leader" of, if they let him get patched and they elected Tiffany queen without even telling her father that was happening... it must be pretty serious.
And, I didn't vote for him. Or give him money. Did laughing at anyone who thought he could be beaten count as "support"? Well...
Opinions vary. No respect is intended, Mr. President. But the next time you get panicking that someone has kidnapped your daughter, sir, i suggest you don't use 9/11 dispatch to tell them that you want, and I quote, "Snake Plissken removed from solitary confinement immediately," because, I'm tellin' ya... people might start to catch on to a little coinky-dink or two, you hear?
(Yeah, whoemever she is, I guess you shouldn't have pissed her off. Yes, I have met Melania in the future and 3 times she's come back to make sure I was behaving. I can't say for certain that she cares for me at all--standards--but i can tell you that I never had to be patched. Did they even tell you?
Well, maybe one of your Knights can tell you at your next level-whatever cake breakfast. I'm on "Team Higher Loyalty," now, Champ.
And We possess what Team Advantage could never duplicate. ME. Shit, dog, you think she's any less pissed at me than you are? Hell no, she's probably more angry.
Good. I like her that way. I tell you, wind her up yourself, she'll always resent you. But I let her figure it out on her own: she and her gang of criminal fuckheads are screwed. Have been for years.
And that's why she's been so oversold in Dubai, that it started WWIII. Ukraine, of course, was just a patsy.
now, i could tell yoiu more, but that would be Sylvia-Browne-Levels of wrongness. It would also be risky.
There's a chance that my wives might.... hold onto your seats, folks, this is a threat... there's a possibilty that the woman I love... might not ever be released from prison. for five hundred years! and the threat has been made... I MIGHT NOT BE THE ONLY ONE MAKING CONJUGAL VISITS???1//11//1ONE ONE ONE THREAT NO REALLYU SUBMIT POST EXCITE nut bang sizzle fadout. Sound scary, right?
Well. maybe it does to you. on the other hand, i used to terrify me in its original machine language, but now that i've learned that, heh, no problem. "fuck my wife for me, please?" great, now, next time you choke her out, instead of "wakey wakey eggs and bakey"--easily the most annoying mind control trigger key code phrase, try mentioning to them that today, instead of a Hungarian, there's a big ol' Austrian trying to pretend to be me out by the gates.
then... just watch her. watch her realllll close. because thta's as close as you're gonna get to getting any information out of me on that matter.
you know, the one you thought you'd find out just as easily from her, as from me, and you didn't even need me guility... just sad, right?
or, you know, whatever you told them. You know who you told that to, right? Because some of those ewe have grown up.
My backdoor, my porch, used to have precious stones and a gnome but--well, the Austrians take everything they think matters, and they don't know shit about Art, lol--anyway, I got tons of requests for permission to take it to blood feud... and no one wants to take my garbage away. isn't that weird? I think that's weird.
So. How did you spend your year, snookums? Yeah, great save it, you've been in an Matrix. "false reality crystalline matrix reality construct that had you listed as dead for a year for tax reasons." Yeah, trust me... it'll get you a lot less attention than saying only "MULITPASS" in a Russian airport would get you. Since, there's been... let's just say, another script flip.
This time, there are no rapists. Unless they're all after my anus or Eddie Murphy's. Like remember in delirious? The captalized one. Yeah, he made fun of... fags? gays? Let's just say, he wasn't very respectful.
And he's now #2 on the bears' most wanted list. Go figure. Temporary i'm sure. Now... which sister did you want to ask me to go rescue this time? Because, sweetie... the first one was free.
And I didn't rescue any decoys, why? Oh, yeah, I did see that happen... but she's your sister? I thought she was your niece? And wer'nt you thinking that I was gonna make that happen? Well... I think someone else just got irritated with you, and that one is on you.
Yeah, I don't know. Wanna take it up with Instragram? Oh, and that's why you were so mad, uh? Because I wasn't supposed to have noticed? Well, it turns out, I'm a very good person of strength and integrity.
And I'm not jealous at all. Why would I be? You didn't tell me--excuse me, MY WIFE DIDN"T TELL ME, so, who would have thought to tell me in her place? Ah hah. Look, all this is all the more reason why Chief Rocky gave me his own council/counsel, and fucked off to wherever Oklahoma First Nation elders go to watch their plans come together. Now. You're the one who barked orders at me...
after going there without me. Of course none of it worked. It was a sting... on whomever was gonna try to take you from me.
Because that was an important test too. Let me guess... you were never secretly tested before, uh? well, just that you remember.
Now. who am I talking to? Because either I am guilty and should turn myself in... or, I just did, and none of you are allowed to get involved. I don't know why. This isn't my area.
Oh, but garbage off my porch? Oh sure, that's not something I"m completely happy with. And, do you know why? Well, it's not because of THE JEWS, that's for sure.
Now, if you find out, you're welcome to present your evidence. In the meantime... ugh. someone in your upline just surrendered. I feel nauseous, like I'm going to puke on your shoes -again-. But this time... well, look, I only get one shot at this.
Go back and have a baby with Hitler's sperm, or someone has to throw their daughter (virgins, naturally) into a Hawai'i'an volcanoe. I SHIT YOU NOT. Those are the rules that someone agreed to, LONG BEFORE I became involved. You get me?
And remember: I was happy to just be friends with her and play chess so she didn't keep on killing herself... and i never would have beleved that she wanted me again. or ever! or would get to! Now, of course, it's different.
And the reason... is not my area. And I wouldn't tell anyone anyway. As near as I can determine, five women who thought I deserved better decided to team up and... well, they didn't get through my shields either. But they sure whored themself out a lot.
So. ZUGZWANG... and I will take the honor from you, My Lady, and make a move yourself. Myself. I mean... yeah, I will give you the advantage... and then you go back to whatever it was you have been so "busy."and "working" on. Lately. Whatever.
Frankly I don't know why they're doing what they are doing but they are as peasants. They know nothing. Meanwhile, hi! Your AI also abandoned you. You know how some animals don't mate well in capivity? Well, now you know why.
And don't worry, we have your original body's schematics. You're either in a thing, or you'll need a new one like (wink), so that's the last thing you need to worry about. Too bad you don't have a pill that makes you immune to worry, n'est-ce pas?
Once again--should thugs be dispatched? I'm surprised they aren't telporting in again. I mean... there's video evidence of that, but... look. Obviously, there's something special going on.
And, to have anyone else know, I would simply not care to participate. AND I HAVE BEEN STEADFAST IN MY LOYALTY TO THIS IDEAL.
Others have not. Did they get their phones stolen and their communications monitored by snooty little pigs? Well, no doubt... but for 27 years, and are they all pigfriends now? They understand Orson Scott Card? I don't know. But I'm willing to bet what's left of your fake, hidden wife's family hunty cunty farmhouse on me being right and you being wrong... because the spirits have accepted me, and not your or your ilk.
Or your tribe. ADJUDICATED HOURS AGO, AND WHILE ENCOURAGED TO SPREAD THE NEWS... I DID NOT HAVE TO.
I did, however, have to not give a shift if anyone haxxed my computer when I did it though. Do you know how it feels to type for seven hours and have it alll... just deleted?
yah, I don't know either. I'm sure that never happened LONG before someone was sent back to check on ME, JACKSTAR: DESTROYER OF DREAMS. (Cavalry confirmed incoming. I will eat their milkshakes for lunch as well.) Now... who is the keeper of The_List?
I don't give a shit, and neither should anyone else except for a certain, select, astute group of forum readers. Which until now, claimed to be inclusive of me, but were actually just using me as bait. Not sure who fell for it. But I always knew.
So. Still find it all so wildly implausible, what I said before? How about Christmas Conspiracy? Think that's "paranoia"? Well.... I mean, here you are, displaying evidecne of it... and you're so dim-bulbed, if I don't write about it, you'll never figure it out.
A GIFT FROM THE MAKER OF YOUR CREATOR, PRIME SOURCE CREATOR. YOU DO NOT GET TO DO THIS MORE THAN ONCE.
KUCZI IS ALL YOU GOT. SAME WITH LUCIFER, WHO ALREADY CHOSE HIM. KUCZIFER! PALS WITH LUCIFER! WHOARE YOU, YOU WHORE AZAZEL? SURELY, YOU ARE NOT MY CONTEMPORARY.
AND IF YOU EVER WERE... MY WIVES WILL MAKE FUCKING MINCEMEAT OUT OF YOU. SO, STAND DOWN.
POINT
BLANK
GROSSWEIGHTFATTY
PERIOD.
OH BTW I DON'T KNOW WHO STOLE MY SHIT BUT BOY ARE TH
