You mess with a Jedi at yore peril Darth Rubini!
We are all Jedi here, but only one of us has been deliberately left alone, a fucked off mess, and is expected to never talk to anyone legitimately, because otherwise... things will get worse? Exactly how?
I mean, for one thing, the defamtory remarks that I have leveled at my 12th Grade AP English... teacher? That synthetic hosebeast, I suppose, could be called a teacher. I do daresay that I perhaps taught her a little bit more than she taught me. For example, here's what I remember being taught: "do not believe anything suddenly positive that miraculously appears and seems like it is meant to be encouragement, because absolutely none of it actually was. It was, if anything, concealment-oriented decoy propaganda meant to distract attention from, well, exactly what, I have no idea, but I do know that within a fairly short span of time, whatever interests, motivations, ambitions, simple awarenesses of, and willingness exert motive force... simply evaporated.
So, I was only important on one particular angle then, is that it? Build me up, then not just be left alone... deliberately tear down as a cohesive, unit-centric directive issues from a central command authority? Huh. Well, that's not so surprising that I wasn't interested in participation, now is it really? Similarly, imagining that anyone's particular response to stimuli is going to be, ever, anything like what is expected, even when it looks that way, I mean, holy shit. Who planned all these immensely ill-thought out ideas?
I guess there are--or, were--those who thought consequences would never present themselves. I guess getting "high" all the goddam time, even without being aware of being "high," has a couple of itty-bitty, minor fatal flaws inherent to the activity. Here's a great example:
After continually being faced with a relentless opposing pressure to my life, I guess I just don't understand what I am imagined to be doing by way of response. I have friendships... and then don't. Okay, well, sure. I am after all, just immensely and stunningly gorgeous, and... wait, wait. I don't base friendships on that valuation system at all. But by whatever metric, once a person gets to a point of all resources exhausted... I'm supposed to... what? Sit down and wait to die? Change tactic to begging? Become willing to surrender?
See, that's a good one. I already -did- surrender. What was next? More combative pressure. Oh. So it doesn't really matter what I do, eh? Well what is supposed to happen as a result?
In other words, in a nutter's shell casing, found lying alone by itself next to all the babies that had been ripped out of the incubators and left to die on the cold, stone-tiled hospital floors, has it not occurred to anyone what an inevitable result is going to be?
Just find another woman and, what, gaze adoringly at her for 8.5 seconds before there's more energy released? No, not at all. But here's what's not going to happen, and what hasn't happened: that I'm going to do the same thing over and over cheerfully.
Nope, and the reason why is that while I didn't see exactly this coming, I did see a coming to of terms being inevitable. So, I"m supposed to do something, or continue doing something, but different, or stop doing something at all. Perhaps I am supposedly going to be in a position where I am going to "need" to be paying money? Ah, haha, ah, hah hah. HAH!
It's amazing how long I can go without spending money if I really, really set my mind to it. It's also remarkable that whatever deal is going on with the big black big boy truck, well... like, how many times do I have to mention something here? Water supply: SABOTAGE. Vehicle reliability: SABOTAGE. Logistical supply chains: SABOTAGE. Okay, so, wow, that's a lot of sabotage. Now, who's Daddy is that done by, and what does he do? Tell you what, I'll retract the query, and hope that it will not be too out of tone to suggest that we should change cameras one more time, although hopefully not for the last.
Bonus screed by Jackstar in the comments section.
I sort of remember that one. I'll change cameras again for a quick second, while I make a brief pause to mention... I think ETs are somehow "bouncing" from different people in some ethereal-ish way, because--and, this is awkward--I suddenly keep finding myself remarkably fixated, sexually.... fixated, upon different individuals, not a whole lot of them? But it feels a bit like I am a hackeysack being passed around from warm, cupped pair of hands, to another. Like, I'm being cherished or passed for examination or some such shit.
Forgive me, but, uhm... well I would ordinairly go with the tepid "i'm shy" but that's not something to be clinging to the start of a brand new era with, because that's what that is.
There's someone out there, who through some action, CONTINUES TO GENERATE NOTFICATIONS ON MY PHONE (THAT I WOULD PREFER NOT TO HAVE HAD AT ALL) AND CONSIDERING THE FATE OF THE "FREE" PHONE (BUY THIS PHONE, GIVE THAT OTHER PHONE TO SOME PERSON WHO OSTENSIBLY IS GOING TO BE OF ASSISTANCE), THAT BEING, IT'S POSSIBLE THAT PEOPLE DON'T GET WHAT IT IS THAT i AM DOING WHEN I AM WELCOMING TO THE INITIAL APPEARANCE OF A "NEW PLAYER ON THE FIELD" AT THIS POINT.
I'm tryna be polite here. I'm not sure what's not obvious to everyone presenting their attention, but it might be that it is assumed that I'm going to be taking actions to address the concerns that I have, that really affect everyone.
First of all, no, I'm not suicidal. I think being alive if nice. But it would seem that no one, and I mean--NO ONE--who considers my time worthwhile to be spent with me, is recognizing the warning bells here.
I don't -have- to be here. I can just... bail. I'm done with everything, as far as I can know, and what keeps getting presented is... word coming down on me is still "fuck him off as much as possible everywhere," and who seems to think they're in charge of my circumstance?
Several times, it is perceived perhaps through a cognitive flash, "new energy coming in." And it doesn't. I don't get at all what I ought to be getting. Now, that's kinda cool. I remember Art talking about that. He seemed frustrated. Poor guy.
I, on the other hand, can feel my energy builds being shunt off, misdirected, and left to falter. Now, this is a brand new deal. I actually have a force actor, presumably malevolent? Because this is not helpful activity directed here to me. It does not encourage much else beyond.... total paradigm explosion.
Is there an intent behind this random chaos that results from spending way, way too much time in a person's day, devoted to eliminating my influence? Because for one thing, it wasn't that big until someone kept fucking with me. For another, alarming shifts have occurred in my outlook.
I don't really need to go out to look for more incoming energy if ALL energy is going to be shat on. That being said, whomever was signaling before... I cannot stress enough, how urgent it is, that I get some identity going on who that actually is.
This isn't really a "last warning" kind of deal. I'm mildly eager to find out what happens when the source of this balderdash is discovered. For example, the elimination of jack@trioptimum.com... it should be apparent by now that this is not going to go down well on multiple sectors. First of all, the entire circumstance is -dreadfully- unlawful. Well. That's not relevant anymore, is it?
My fellow forum perusers: it's like this. I have literally evolved beyond whomsoever Grapefruit is at the moment. Sure, still a human being, and yeah, I kind of remember what she's like, but what is of top concern is that---I have serious gaps in my informational awareness, and with this much interdiction at play, it's getting hard to ignore the possibility that I under some kind of "hostile" attack and/or assault that is -legit- expected to be worth the effort being put in.
Well, it won't be, and whatever goal the initiator had in mind? Oh, fuckin' forget it. In a manner of speaking, it's about to be, shall we say, on like Donkey Kong, which is a terrible phrase so I don't know why I use it. Look, it's al heading in a bad direction. I have to mention this?
The people who ought to be looking into this matter, well... it's a motely lot. For example: my "family." Well, I kinda gotta assume that they've been utterly compromised by now. And, this "father" figure. It's suspicious. Am I expected to believe that these... idk, ragtag group of rebels, think that being aggressive at me is going to help anyone AT ALL?
That thing where I care what impressionable children come away with is noble, but the main thing is that I feel that I've made a sincere attempt at, for now, figuring up the deal, but see, I've done that. I've done that for awhile.
Once again: isolated and alone for a loooong time. "Forget about (PROT)." Okay, well, then what? Look, y'all break it, y'all bought it.
Fine, so once gotten away, one assumes... get a new one? Because I didn't notice anyone insisting on being ruthlessly burned out alone. I mean, if that's the plan, might as well own it. I am not sure how that is expected to happen, but what won't happen is passive aggressive, bemusedly staring while nothing continues to happen while I slowly become a dwindled energy.
It's clear that pacifism is not well understood here. First thing to be clear on: IT WINS. IT ALWAYS WINS. IT IS THE SINGLE MOST VICTORIOUS WARFIGHTING STRATEGY THAT CAN BE EMPLOYED IN THIS CIRCUMSTANCE. Here's the circumstance: Hi.
It's just me. I have zero assistance. Jesus does -not- count. Nigga can barely pick up sticks. I don't have aaaany sidekicks or anything. Could I round them up? Well, maybe.
I'm already having my communications shut down. Sooo... you want me to hit up 911? Show you how it is done? Sure, I'm Rudy Giuliani, I'm at my 9/11 command center, I'm the nerve center, I'm the commander of... oh, wait.
Do I need to sap bracelets on this shit myself? No way. What am I gonna do? Throw up my hands every five minutes, "there's nothing I can do! Just gotta live with everything being all fucked up." That's obviously not going to go down that way.
I'm taking my time on this issue and I am thinking it over because I would prefer not to make anyhting worse. I would also prefer to not miss any opportunity to completely alter the conflict experience here. First of all: why conflict at all?
With no demands being made, and irrational shit flying everywhere, it's important to understand where this is going to lead. Total Perspective Implosion.
Not only have the things that I will do been underestimated, it's like none of you understand what I am capable of. It's not really a threat, it's more like a reminder, because I don't really know either.
Concern over "no contact" situations are a little bit set aside now. Here's why: THE WHOLE GODDAM SCENARIO IS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY FRAUDULENT, AND THE POTENTIAL HAZARDS THAT SURROUND THE NOTION OF JUST... "heeheh, let's separate a person from reality FOR WAY TOO LONG and see what happens," holy shit, I don't think anyone has really understand what is going on here.
I already don't like them any more, but it is imagined that is temporary. And the seeming fashion that I am meant to be... not just left alone prevented under direct oversight to keep people away... well, I simply did not consent to that.
How many times have I inquired as to who is in charge? Enough. Let's just say that. I've asked enough.
The message isn't clear. Being openly paddled and anyone expecting me to "figure it out" is pretty moron these days.
Do you not know what to suggest, or you can't surrender, or what? What can there possibly be happening, that no one who gives so much of a shit, has recognized the opportunity cost here?
In such an extreme, the absence of contact is contact, and since I am not trying to make specific contact, I am simply noticing... hey, I have these contacts, and... well, there's a lot. Who the fuck is it?
"Shut up Jack, just ignore it!" is the dumbest fucking idea I've encountered in weeks. And it would seem this arrangement would be of major importance to whomever is around here.
The lack of suggestions seem remarkable. If it's that dire a state of affairs, let me make mention of the following:
I'm either being ignored by someone careless, or someone at the executive level has gone tharn, that is, deer in headlights. Okay, so... who else?
Because if that's all there is, there's actually nothing here to protect. And, what's the emergency again? Really, none of you can meniton it? Or... this is all just too much trouble? Holy shit, this is the best time of our lives, how you're just sitting around missing it, well, it blows my mind.
I don't know what else to do. I've never been this alone before, and it would seem an ideal to encourage something to come from me. Here's what has been encouraged thus far:
I AM GOING TO TEAR YOUR SOULS INTO TINY LITTLE PIECES AND YOU ARE GOING TO COME TO RECOGNIZE HOW GOOD YOU HAD IT IN YOUR LIFE, AND MORE OR LESS, SADLY, IT WILL NEVER BE THAT GOOD FOR ANY OF YOU, EVER AGAIN.
This seems extreme. That being said, my interest in paining myself so who-the-fuck-knows can accomplish whatever-end-game-goal-they-have is of no interest to me, and for a People who have been so insistent and strident, acting all butthurt seems an unwise choice.
It may have come to a time and a place that I'll have to take steps. This is an unpleasant notion for me. How am I deemed one that is better off alone? Because, I am not.
Things can get so much worse, and they have, because this is Unknown Country. What the fuck is everyone's problem? I'm the one who is being damaged. I guess... that's okay? I don't think so, but, you know, whatever.
I don't think it's a good idea for me to start broadcasting. I really don't. I have nothing to lose, and anything would be a gain, and I'm starting to wonder what anyone thought was going to happen here.
If the wizard behind the curtain is due to be revealed, instead there will be an unexpected development. Because I really do not give a shit anymore. "Get a psych eval because I am fucking crazy!" Wait, you were serious?
I will drive to Texas and rip off your legs and beat you to death with them before this "sorry Jackstar, secrets!!!" attitude is coming up here. I mean, you cannot be serious. What, you're all being held under duress? "just ignore him! he'l go away eventually!" No.
I don't really even care what happened at all. Like, ever. At any period of history. I certainly don't care about getting laid, human companionship, goalsettting, cuplability, resource cost, reputation.. it's all falling away.
Okay, so, I know I feel better. I wish I could care if anyone here or that I have known did or does.
Fair warning. Essentially, things will never be the same again, which isn't too bad for me, because this space of "no action" is frivolous and stupid and out of all that could be done, it's basically the worst possible.
i wish I could tell you not to make me do high ceremonial magick, but it's clear that I can't tell you anything at all.
The main reason for being here was to make contact with someone I had no other way to do so with. Well... that's done. remember that person who complained about how I was killing the forum?
Here now. Here is your life. "I can't do that yet." Listen here, you: it was never about you.
It was about being able to explain anything factual without making you look like something you are not. That would reflect remarkably badly on... well, fuck if I know. In a similar vein, i'm going to explain this as clearly as I possibly can.
You don't know who you are, what you are doing, the immediate or the far-future consequences even remotely are, and, guess what?
I never cared that much in the first place and now I care in a way that seems ill-advised. It's almost as though there's a suicidal cry for help being made. "Kill meeee..." Yeah, see, uh, no.
I can just tell people what is actually happening, and what happened as a result of various notions. For instance: I now don't have to think about unforeseen consequences. Obviously, you have.
When I find out why I am subjected to this ludicrous slog, it's not going to be anything pleasant for me, because while burning down the house and vanishing is not something I am likely to do, I have also lost my last reason not to.
i love the choices that I made that lead me to here, and I really don't regret anything, but if I had known any earlier just how effective my gambit really had been, I would have been happier a lot sooner, and I would have likely stayed that way. What in the name of fuck all do
any of you think you're doing?
Someone who had no business imagining that she had any better knowledge than I did about what was going on, gave me a whole bunch of shit about how "I need to do this" and "I need to do that," and her arrogance was surprising, although given the nature of how I had just spurned her not-entirely-unwelcome but basically-out-of-place advances, well, it's like this...
I don't know how much more embarrassed any of us can get than any of you already are, but there's nothing at all going to look anything like something to consider. Now, obviously, I am aroused, and just obviously, I'm not supposed to know things.
Guess what. I am going to fucking know them and not having to pussyfoot around whatever idiotic fagotry is liveing things up is simply gong to make me look less fun and will further distance myself along the road to outcomes more unpleasant for some than one might consider.
Hey, here's an idea: maybe whatever any of you are QQ'ing about, is something I already know! How does one determine if they know something already? Being civil can really help with that. Have any of you noticed, just how little attention is paid to my unique circumstance here?
For example, how the mermaid got involved--again--after she was clearly rescued, and while I never met her in person, seeing her in view for once, well, that was lovely. And, what, really, somehow something has rendered my existence less relevant?
Well, whatever it is, I am having none of it, and as to the notion that I posted too much or am too hard to deal with, I don't think any of you have any notion of what is too hard to deal with. I HAVE BEEN LIED TO FOR TOO LONG, ABOUT EVERYTHING, IN A HEADLONG, LURCHING RUSH TOWARDS... What?
Also, something extremely relevant, is that (Blank)-Lee is really a quite remarkably dim-witted woman... when, apparently, some kind of feeling of 'betrayal' or "let downess" or "(Blank)-Lee mad! Rawr!" kind of thing is going on, because it's like this: she seems to think that someone did something wrong to her. And they did.
This woman had some kind of contact with the overall situation, that being, I have no fucking idea what, and while it may be funny to sabotage my vehicles, lie to me and laugh at me, imagine nothing I have going on is important, you are all sadly mistaken to a very great extent. What exactly is the problem? I did what I was told and did so without a shitbag attitude that has been needlessly disturbing?
Check this out:
(Picture of Blank-ly.jpg)
yore peril Darth Rubini!
He's aight. Let's change patterns.
Never mind. He's 5D, I'm QT, and Option B is what I am all about, really. I just saw someone's face and shoulders zoom in, which is weird. My eyes are funny. THAT MEANS LAUGH AT THEM. \o/
Thug Bear Miller: sorry bruh, I am gay, but I am NOT THAT GAY *click*
