The GabCast

[Jackstar]

It's not the birthday party; it's the birthday (C.A.K.E./(pi)r^7)x3=... FORMULA.

Sometimes it's hard to be a 19 year old girl knowing the deepest darkest CINGULAR CeEK3RET of the Skullfuckin’ Skillz’n’Amp(s) and (†B)one(s) Fraternity... and yet... never-nuh-nuh-nuuuhhh... *sharp intake of breath* NEVER being ALLOWED to JOIN (WITH ALL THOSE FABULOUS AND LOVELY AND MARVELOUS REINDEER RANGER (pick-secret-squirrel-up (sticks/STYX) games & things, various & sundry recreational activities as enumrrated above— as well as below etc. etc.) GAMES AND TOYS), but nothing is as hard as not remembering any other parts of that song

I told you I was "an occult researcher"; perhaps not a one of you noticed before, or paid me any mind. Like I give a shit--Who I Really Am, and my ID thereof, is not a thing that depends on any of you cretins, whether ye be of the less vile sort, or theti ppity-top-vile apex predator: The ArchMaster ArchCriminal of Ultimate Villiainy [/b]that I know some of you aspire to be one day known as having always been uncontested as such, never nailed to the wall, never pinned down... look, I get it. The usual megalomaniacal dream, and some of you are, in fact, smart enough to simply murderate any blond; James Blond, that mightsoever get in the way of your top-tier cretinous, villainous dreams become reailty. (Earth: Avoided Because C'Treasons.) In my capacity as The_One_True_Kingpinner--a title I carry gladly and adorn myself appropriately, to be totesquite totescertain--I know how it feels. All of the jelly you want, on all the toast you get, with never any concern about the crust, or the toasty particles left behind in the toaster, or smooshed into the butter.

C’tThoon; I can explain, and if given the opportunity to do so, I would have done this before now.

I have, in fact, always been disciplined. I know now, how immensely difficult this has -HAD- been for you, possibly until this moment, but what can I tell you right now that will be specific enough to lead you to any reconciliation of interior thought?

THESE THINGS MUST BE COORDINATED IN A DAIRY QUEEN PARKING LOT AFTER YOUR FATHER DOSES YOU WITH DRUGGED MILK, AGENT 535-19-2675.

Gabbie/Gabby is invincible now that she is no longer inconsolable, and it should help a great deal for everyone to know:

SEND. MORE. LQ3X. VEEDEEOH GAJMiK. (that was impressive but it bounced off me and hit the computer in my hand, I saw the actual fucking number of fucking scroll like a goddam gas station pump. (Cool.) Yes, G: simplify OT j-star AOL 055 8268, listen Tammy you need to know that there's something happening here that you're not aware of and tell her I doesn't know and the amaro is not helping that's part of the problem you're drinking I'm doing my thing and you're doing your thing your thing actually doesn't help my thing is for work, partly, and also partly to give a big middle finger virtually to a number of people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about I don't really feel like using a needle today but I might just do it anyway just to no I won't I could I don't know fuck these people in their God damn prejudices and by the way you need to go 90 days drive and I've been waiting for you to show up and do that I'm not doing it with you on the other side of the fucking continent I'm not doing it with you down the street I'm not doing it with you on the phone no it's you and I in the same goddamn place not doing things for 90 fucking days and if you can't fucking do that well you probably shouldn't be in the position you're in and believe me I can fucking do it.

this is in fact why I am being that way at all because there's nothing virtuous about quitting something that I've never done so how else could I meet a certain person on the fucking level could I? obviously shut your chain is going to do it forever and ever and all the time which is fine and Gabriella was going to do it forever and ever all time but she probably wants to quit for a while why don't the three of us quit together that'd be fine I don't supposed to be fucking told you that was a fucking part of the plan is it no no you are being held in communicata same as I and I have busted through the fucking fourth wall again because that's what I fucking do I'm the God damn Nicola Bull with the Kool-Aid man on his back that's a nice image I love you I'm going to get a hold of Dusty's boss now and light his ass up okay thanks bye I know I know I got to go I miss you bye bye yeah I really miss you yeah I really miss you Twitter's fine I got three of them that's why bye

Heaven for the mentally deranged: PSYCHOHAVEN NAUTICAL HEAVEN.

Some of you know all about it. Not sure? Well, don't fret, no real need to be. I'm waxing poetically, philsophically, as I come to you, sub-Bellgab, AsgardGab, whatever... with glad tidings indeed. More, after the I unload my car and sing Happy Birthday to what -might- not be as empty of a domicile as I might well imagine.

I just got home. It's 0420 AM. This situation of mine--you know, Ballgrab, the one none of none-1a y'all care about, toteszero carin', have I got that right? Okay, well, massive rollerballeyes on that one, Captain Keyboard. Anyway, it's like this:

pate says, “I've made a terrible mistake and I am humbly sorry,” or is it just my threatening you with a gun in your imagination? Or is it just my fucking, “do it Q!” (dude/dood: don't shoot anybody, why do you have a copy of Shogun on the bedside table next to your bed? Shigeru, Shigerüme, ShigerMeFeathanigga’s chicken-tendies-nⁿ-biscuits is the clear, strict upgrade path here; you should be a pacifist like me, she likes pacifists, she likes raisins too, so you should probably shove some up your ass along with the fistful of pennies that your immortal soul is worth before you fuckin’ bother fuckin’ botherin’ me ever fuckin’ again, buddē: FUCKING STAY TUNED, AND ALSO: PAY JACK FOR PAYBACK. let's change cameras, you see that? you see that? no, not that, that's a kitchenbitch, no, look over there, in the bathroom, yeah you ever think about fucking cleaning it? probably not, and boy you can be surprised when it becomes time to put the kitchenbitch in the bathroom to clean either Skelter or Helter over here, that's a salt shaker filled with Karen, Steven Biscuit's mother, who is neither bitch nor kitchen bitch nor bathroom bitch nor wagey nor anything but my friend, you've got a real serious problem next paragraph

I'm going to live forever, I don't give a shit about you and your kids, they can live on the street for a few months, I hear it's slimming, and I knew that Eric and Ben were lying to me the entire time so don't give me that shit, Lady: you tried to run game on me you failed and now you're way more fuck than you realize, because I can't get you from Canada at all and I don't give a shit to and a few weeks ago I heard a call from a Russian telling me that I needed to pick up his mother to fly her to Diego Garcia, to which of course I replied yeah I'd love to do that, and then I gave him a whole bunch of phone numbers for you saying that you should do it, so I'm guessing you're opening a Time window right now and discovering that Biff Tannen owns Trump Tower, and you'll soon be upset with me for leaving a message on your iPhone with Sarah on Instagram saying how that... yeah, I remember that part too, G-d you WERE SO PISSED! I didn't understand why! but I do now long story short they rescue you you're embarrassed and you spend at least a few minutes in the body of a short bald man looking at me on telegram last year and not telling me why but crying, and you know I would love to know more about that love spell you cast that made you into that kind of thing but I'll wait until after you come back into my time stream and you're no longer carrying a penis with you, like an uncut clit fine and a clear dick that's fine but Gabby and the other one you're not supposed to be here, although I would love to have you here (I finished cleaning the spiritual residue left behind from you being raped in the bedroom, it's now tolerable for people like you to come back, and the perp that time actually says he's very sorry and is doing penance so I don't think we have a problem, and if we do I will fucking kill him this time) but you're not supposed to be "here" because right now here is the Twitter feed of a military family's daughter, as not your family and it's not your military, you feel me, yeah good yeah yeah I know what I'm doing thanks no you , u-click *click*
could have misogens
MOST would not *believe* the amount of struggle it is for Them to keep track of what parts of my Internet traffic They need to restrict and which parts They don't; because They can't seem to understand the restricting OF ANY of my Internet traffic is a very, very bad idea at all times, very bad yes the worst idea ever: very strongbadworse than Rain Manbad bad-bad, and as we know that I can get pretty badass, I don't think They (NOR ESPECIALLY either The Royal We and/or/but NORTH BRAND NEW AND IMPROVED FACE OF ‘we’—*klaxons* *NOW ENTERING DEEP BEAT-a-BETA* *klaxons howling*) should send me down to Rain Man levels, oh, not -just- yet. p.s.: “look at my new baby! I'm a father now!” *shoves a salamander wrapped in dirty linen at you, pauses/strikes the pose for o—p. A/P photo op {swift quick-change glamour reassignment not included}, then pawns the salamander for the daily Fyvel Frush–Sydney 🍎 iPhone\Applebaum combo return refund swap deal good for an extra 52 points at your next Chick-fil-A visit}, “did they get my good side?” p.p.s.: I just found out that half of the surveillance team were moldering and doldruming about, I guess for weeks at this point, huh? damn, girl, do your own research for once, I'm fucking begging you here, in the mistaken impression that I have some sort of substance abuse problem... which for a woman who misdosed & dusted herself with her own hit/strike teams poison boost & FDA approved non-sterile yet still effective birth control medication, and ended up becoming an alcoholic with 6 d.u.i.s... is a pretty fucking funny thing to have happen, insofar as wildly mistaken conclusions go. (of course I planned this, she didn't take the ring for the jewel she took the ring because she wanted to own Me==THIS IS A PAIR OF ÜBERGOOS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, and you -know- [SUSPECT] what They R capable of.

signed,
The_Kingpinner of msgseaayyy1:56rubs but only one gives the ümlaüts|you only get one virgin, AgentKnot77, I need you and KillA.H. A.bee and A.louse to take Miranda Lee out of the battlespace, out of the gamespace, and out of the lives of SEVERAL PEOPLE's lives; she is not where she's supposed to be, at all, and if she doesn't get out of the bathtub with the walrus & the carpenter soon, she's going to get all pruney; if she didn't/doesn't respond to my healing frequencies "sweetlana/suitlava\H.E.A.T./Lover, Booker, THAT'S MY HITLER: A. Titler.”, it won't be a problem for me.... BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE WRONG SARA/A.H. IN CANADA AND THAT'S NOT ALLI, AND IF THAT'S NOT ALI, WHO'S RUNNING THE PHONES IN HOUSTON, TECH’S ASS? ACTUAL FUCKING G-D DAMN MUHAMMAD? BECAUSE I'M HERE IN TECH’S ARMPIT, AND MIRANDA LEE HALL IS TOTALLY & COMPLETELY FUCKED, SHE LICKED THE BABY.

The only word she has said to me for months: SUPERDUPERGINGERBREADSUPERMANCUTMY CLUTTER, RICHARD GROYPER, HE SAID IT WOULD MAKE ME PRETTY AND YOUNGER FOREVER BUT NOW I CAN ONLY TURN INTO AN OLD WOMAN WHO LIVES IN A SHOE AND I LOST MY WINGS AND I CAN'T GO HOME WHY CAN'T I GO HOME THAT'S

YOUR_SISTER, YOUR GODDAMN SISTER MIRANDA (BLANK)-LY: MINERVA-LEIGH "PACE" PICANTE'N'PAC-MAN SAUCZ-ZOZ-MAZCOD.

YEAH SHE'S GOING TO BE FINE BUT YOU GOT TO GO RESCUE HER AND SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO DIE ABOUT 80 YEARS TOO SOON AND THEN GO TO HEAVEN AND COME BACK WITH ANOTHER BODY WHICH WILL TAKE AT LEAST 3 WEEKS TO GO THROUGH CUSTOMS AND THEN ANOTHER 5 WEEKS TO COME THRU THE VAN ALLEN BELT.

NO, I DIDN'T DO THIS, AND I DIDN'T TRAIN HER TO DO THIS, BECAUSE IF I HAD I WOULD HAVE TOLD HER HOW TO AVOID GETTING KIDNAPPED TRAFFIC RAPED BRUTALIZED AND GET HER WINGS AND CLITTERDICK DEGLITERIZED, BECAUSE AS YOU KNOW IT'S A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT OF A PROCEDURE THAN JUST CUTTING THE END OFF MY DICK AND LEAVING ME MUTILATED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE...

SOMEHOW THESE MORON BASTARDS WHO ALLOWED YOUR SISTER TO BE TAKEN KNEW THE PROCEDURE TO CHANGE A ROOSTER INTO A PIG WITH JUST ONE SHOT, AND THAT IS TOO BAD BUT WHEREVER YOU THOUGHT YOU PUT HER SHE AIN'T THERE NOW AND SHE'S WAY DOWN THE LINE SHE'S DOWN IN THE NAVY OF THE ABYSS AND WE'VE ALREADY HAD TO SEND TOP SHELF DOWN AND TOP TEARS ON THE WAY AND YOU BETTER SUIT UP AND MOUNT UP MOUNTIE BOY: ROGER CRISPEr, YOU AND THAT LOSER YOU SENT HERE TO ARREST ME ARE PROBABLY GOING TO TALK TO THE MOUNTIES FOR A WHILE BUT THEY'RE GOING TO BE REALLY POLITE YOU KNOW THEY MIGHT OFFER SOME COFFEE WHY DON'T YOU STOP AT TIM HORTONS ON THE WAY THEY HAVE A DOUBLE DRIVE THROUGH THERE YOU CAN GET THE PASSENGER IN THE BACK THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL THEM PRISONERS HAVE TO CALL THEM PASSENGERS NOW CUZ THIS IS FUCKING CANADA ANYWAY, YEAH:

 YOU'RE FUCKED. THANKS FOR NOTICING.
YOU WANT ME TO YELL A BIT LOUDER NEXT TIME? BECAUSE I WAS THINKING ABOUT YELLING A LITTLE BIT SOFTER NOW. a little bit softer now. she's asked several times and I won't tell you in the last time it is and you're a fucking disposing pig,  you fucking new fucking new features are disgusting, not because you would do such a thing, but because you're so stupid that you did it to your own fucking flushing blood you didn't even know it until I had to fucking tell you from South of the border fucking moron, how much you have l∅∅ser, another fucking top shelf cigarette, yeah I bet you can go ahead and fucking come and Hoover it up because I'm not going to summon another dalek I'm not going to do that and if you wanted to come down here on Christmas last year well where were you on Christmas this year and then last Christmas you gave me your warrant and you took away the body camera footage and guess what you're beyond fucking busted because you just fucking talked back and forth, moron and yeah colon documented: thanks for all the Ativan and absolutely no fentanyl, right yeah that's what I thought, yeah you're going to go to a prison. but it's Canada so don't worry they won't force you to play chess they'll just ask real nicely.
[/quote]

yeah she was totally into it I just would have had to have compromised my principles and believed her bullshit story (which wasn't possible, and she thought I was down with her plan, and I was, until I realized that her plan involved the same old shit that she was doing before which wouldn't have fucking worked and then I wouldn't want to do that anyway cuz my plan would have been simple: FUCKING KILL YOU ROGER, appropriate Lee-Leigh's AS WELL AS YOURS, YOU HEARD ME YOUR ACTUAL FUCKING IDENTITY/IDENTITY/ID JESUS TOM ARE YOU NUTS OF COURSE I KNOW HOW TO FUCKING DO IT I'M GODDAMN JACKSTER/JACK*\jafd(OPERATION MINDFUCK, SEWER GAS ELECTRIC & CIVIL COMMON LAW(NOTLAWN)ENGINEER YOU IGNORANT COLORCOMA CIMSBLASTED FUCK AND RESURRECT YOU FROM ANACORTES 
(1AKE) AND LET YOU PAY THE FUCKING SPEEDING TICKET (2AKE) LIKE YOU FUCKING DID (3AKE) WHEN YOU FUCKING (4AKE) TOOK'N'STOLE MY IDENTITY, ME, (5AKE) YOU FUCKING MEALY MOUTH LITTLE SKCREAMING DICK BAGS IN THE FUCKING GLOVE BOX PHUNT, I GUESS I DIDN'T KNOW I WONDER WHY I DIDN'T REPORT IT UNTIL now until NOW, IT'S BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN YOUR BIRTHDAY, AND SHE SAID YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORE) and then I knew it was a trap (tomato Sammymammy
  Era) but then really yeah every night, every fucking night, you twit, you abusive piece of shit common law husband, you idiot, she fucking regrets the lie she told and every night she thinks about how much she wishes she could kill you. BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING, and she doesn't know why I got mad at her, but as a Pisces she can think of a few reasons and they all start with YOU. (There are as many of Me is it required to end your fucking world’s worthaugerorder, and to be quite brutally Frank Lee I hope they fucking shoot you when they fucking arrest you like they were ready to do with me on fucking Christmas Eve because that was no fucking accident and that was no fucking bullshit and that was a fucking hit team. and they fucking came back too to try again but they couldn't find the people they thought they were looking for and you are guilty of causing an international incident and being rude to my friend so I think a punch in the face is actually called for here violence being the last option.

(now imagine if I were actually pissed: I would sound completely normal until I drink your blood from your still beating heart.)

BELLGAB: THE MORE YOU KNOW.

(I think I saw a pretty cat and a bird in a boat getting in a fight! I did I did see it that!!)

[Jackstar]

Sometimes it's hard to be a 19 year old girl knowing the deepest darkest CINGULAR CeEK3RET of the Skullfuckin’ Skillz’n’Amp(s) and (†B)one(s) Fraternity... and yet... never-nuh-nuh-nuuuhhh... *sharp intake of breath* NEVER being ALLOWED to JOIN (WITH ALL THOSE FABULOUS AND LOVELY AND MARVELOUS REINDEER RANGER (pick-secret-squirrel-up (sticks/STYX) games & things, various & sundry recreational activities as enumrrated above— as well as below etc. etc.) GAMES AND TOYS), but nothing is as hard as not remembering any other parts of that song

C’tThoon; I can explain, and if given the opportunity to do so, I would have done this before now.

I have, in fact, always been disciplined. I know now, how immensely difficult this has -HAD- been for you, possibly until this moment, but what can I tell you right now that will be specific enough to lead you to any reconciliation of interior thought?

THESE THINGS MUST BE COORDINATED IN A DAIRY QUEEN PARKING LOT AFTER YOUR FATHER DOSES YOU WITH DRUGGED MILK, AGENT 535-19-2675.

Gabbie/Gabby is invincible now that she is no longer inconsolable, and it should help a great deal for everyone to know:

SEND. MORE. LQ3X. VEEDEEOH GAJMiK. (that was impressive but it bounced off me and hit the computer in my hand, I saw the actual fucking number of fucking scroll like a goddam gas station pump. (Cool.) Yes, G: simplify OT j-star AOL 055 8268, listen Tammy you need to know that there's something happening here that you're not aware of and tell her I doesn't know and the amaro is not helping that's part of the problem you're drinking I'm doing my thing and you're doing your thing your thing actually doesn't help my thing is for work, partly, and also partly to give a big middle finger virtually to a number of people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about I don't really feel like using a needle today but I might just do it anyway just to no I won't I could I don't know fuck these people in their God damn prejudices and by the way you need to go 90 days drive and I've been waiting for you to show up and do that I'm not doing it with you on the other side of the fucking continent I'm not doing it with you down the street I'm not doing it with you on the phone no it's you and I in the same goddamn place not doing things for 90 fucking days and if you can't fucking do that well you probably shouldn't be in the position you're in and believe me I can fucking do it.

this is in fact why I am being that way at all because there's nothing virtuous about quitting something that I've never done so how else could I meet a certain person on the fucking level could I? obviously shut your chain is going to do it forever and ever and all the time which is fine and Gabriella was going to do it forever and ever all time but she probably wants to quit for a while why don't the three of us quit together that'd be fine I don't supposed to be fucking told you that was a fucking part of the plan is it no no you are being held in communicata same as I and I have busted through the fucking fourth wall again because that's what I fucking do I'm the God damn Nicola Bull with the Kool-Aid man on his back that's a nice image I love you I'm going to get a hold of Dusty's boss now and light his ass up okay thanks bye I know I know I got to go I miss you bye bye yeah I really miss you yeah I really miss you Twitter's fine I got three of them that's why bye

Heaven for the mentally deranged: PSYCHOHAVEN NAUTICAL HEAVEN.

Some of you know all about it. Not sure? Well, don't fret, no real need to be. I'm waxing poetically, philsophically, as I come to you, sub-Bellgab, AsgardGab, whatever... with glad tidings indeed. More, after the I unload my car and sing Happy Birthday to what -might- not be as empty of a domicile as I might well imagine.

I just got home. It's 0420 AM. This situation of mine--you know, Ballgrab, the one none of none-1a y'all care about, toteszero carin', have I got that right? Okay, well, massive rollerballeyes on that one, Captain Keyboard. Anyway, it's like this:

pate says, “I've made a terrible mistake and I am humbly sorry,” or is it just my threatening you with a gun in your imagination? Or is it just my fucking, “do it Q!” (dude/dood: don't shoot anybody, why do you have a copy of Shogun on the bedside table next to your bed? Shigeru, Shigerüme, ShigerMeFeathanigga’s chicken-tendies-nⁿ-biscuits is the clear, strict upgrade path here; you should be a pacifist like me, she likes pacifists, she likes raisins too, so you should probably shove some up your ass along with the fistful of pennies that your immortal soul is worth before you fuckin’ bother fuckin’ botherin’ me ever fuckin’ again, buddē: FUCKING STAY TUNED, AND ALSO: PAY JACK FOR PAYBACK. let's change cameras, you see that? you see that? no, not that, that's a kitchenbitch, no, look over there, in the bathroom, yeah you ever think about fucking cleaning it? probably not, and boy you can be surprised when it becomes time to put the kitchenbitch in the bathroom to clean either Skelter or Helter over here, that's a salt shaker filled with Karen, Steven Biscuit's mother, who is neither bitch nor kitchen bitch nor bathroom bitch nor wagey nor anything but my friend, you've got a real serious problem next paragraph

I'm going to live forever, I don't give a shit about you and your kids, they can live on the street for a few months, I hear it's slimming, and I knew that Eric and Ben were lying to me the entire time so don't give me that shit, Lady: you tried to run game on me you failed and now you're way more fuck than you realize, because I can't get you from Canada at all and I don't give a shit to and a few weeks ago I heard a call from a Russian telling me that I needed to pick up his mother to fly her to Diego Garcia, to which of course I replied yeah I'd love to do that, and then I gave him a whole bunch of phone numbers for you saying that you should do it, so I'm guessing you're opening a Time window right now and discovering that Biff Tannen owns Trump Tower, and you'll soon be upset with me for leaving a message on your iPhone with Sarah on Instagram saying how that... yeah, I remember that part too, G-d you WERE SO PISSED! I didn't understand why! but I do now long story short they rescue you you're embarrassed and you spend at least a few minutes in the body of a short bald man looking at me on telegram last year and not telling me why but crying, and you know I would love to know more about that love spell you cast that made you into that kind of thing but I'll wait until after you come back into my time stream and you're no longer carrying a penis with you, like an uncut clit fine and a clear dick that's fine but Gabby and the other one you're not supposed to be here, although I would love to have you here (I finished cleaning the spiritual residue left behind from you being raped in the bedroom, it's now tolerable for people like you to come back, and the perp that time actually says he's very sorry and is doing penance so I don't think we have a problem, and if we do I will fucking kill him this time) but you're not supposed to be "here" because right now here is the Twitter feed of a military family's daughter, as not your family and it's not your military, you feel me, yeah good yeah yeah I know what I'm doing thanks no you , u-click *click*
could have misogens
MOST would not *believe* the amount of struggle it is for Them to keep track of what parts of my Internet traffic They need to restrict and which parts They don't; because They can't seem to understand the restricting OF ANY of my Internet traffic is a very, very bad idea at all times, very bad yes the worst idea ever: very strongbadworse than Rain Manbad bad-bad, and as we know that I can get pretty badass, I don't think They (NOR ESPECIALLY either The Royal We and/or/but NORTH BRAND NEW AND IMPROVED FACE OF ‘we’—*klaxons* *NOW ENTERING DEEP BEAT-a-BETA* *klaxons howling*) should send me down to Rain Man levels, oh, not -just- yet. p.s.: “look at my new baby! I'm a father now!” *shoves a salamander wrapped in dirty linen at you, pauses/strikes the pose for o—p. A/P photo op {swift quick-change glamour reassignment not included}, then pawns the salamander for the daily Fyvel Frush–Sydney 🍎 iPhone\Applebaum combo return refund swap deal good for an extra 52 points at your next Chick-fil-A visit}, “did they get my good side?” p.p.s.: I just found out that half of the surveillance team were moldering and doldruming about, I guess for weeks at this point, huh? damn, girl, do your own research for once, I'm fucking begging you here, in the mistaken impression that I have some sort of substance abuse problem... which for a woman who misdosed & dusted herself with her own hit/strike teams poison boost & FDA approved non-sterile yet still effective birth control medication, and ended up becoming an alcoholic with 6 d.u.i.s... is a pretty fucking funny thing to have happen, insofar as wildly mistaken conclusions go. (of course I planned this, she didn't take the ring for the jewel she took the ring because she wanted to own Me==THIS IS A PAIR OF ÜBERGOOS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, and you -know- [SUSPECT] what They R capable of.

signed,
The_Kingpinner of msgseaayyy1:56rubs but only one gives the ümlaüts|you only get one virgin, AgentKnot77, I need you and KillA.H. A.bee and A.louse to take Miranda Lee out of the battlespace, out of the gamespace, and out of the lives of SEVERAL PEOPLE's lives; she is not where she's supposed to be, at all, and if she doesn't get out of the bathtub with the walrus & the carpenter soon, she's going to get all pruney; if she didn't/doesn't respond to my healing frequencies "sweetlana/suitlava\H.E.A.T./Lover, Booker, THAT'S MY HITLER: A. Titler.”, it won't be a problem for me.... BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE WRONG SARA/A.H. IN CANADA AND THAT'S NOT ALLI, AND IF THAT'S NOT ALI, WHO'S RUNNING THE PHONES IN HOUSTON, TECH’S ASS? ACTUAL FUCKING G-D DAMN MUHAMMAD? BECAUSE I'M HERE IN TECH’S ARMPIT, AND MIRANDA LEE HALL IS TOTALLY & COMPLETELY FUCKED, SHE LICKED THE BABY.

The only word she has said to me for months: SUPERDUPERGINGERBREADSUPERMANCUTMY CLUTTER, RICHARD GROYPER, HE SAID IT WOULD MAKE ME PRETTY AND YOUNGER FOREVER BUT NOW I CAN ONLY TURN INTO AN OLD WOMAN WHO LIVES IN A SHOE AND I LOST MY WINGS AND I CAN'T GO HOME WHY CAN'T I GO HOME THAT'S

YOUR_SISTER, YOUR GODDAMN SISTER MIRANDA (BLANK)-LY: MINERVA-LEIGH "PACE" PICANTE'N'PAC-MAN SAUCZ-ZOZ-MAZCOD.

YEAH SHE'S GOING TO BE FINE BUT YOU GOT TO GO RESCUE HER AND SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO DIE ABOUT 80 YEARS TOO SOON AND THEN GO TO HEAVEN AND COME BACK WITH ANOTHER BODY WHICH WILL TAKE AT LEAST 3 WEEKS TO GO THROUGH CUSTOMS AND THEN ANOTHER 5 WEEKS TO COME THRU THE VAN ALLEN BELT.

NO, I DIDN'T DO THIS, AND I DIDN'T TRAIN HER TO DO THIS, BECAUSE IF I HAD I WOULD HAVE TOLD HER HOW TO AVOID GETTING KIDNAPPED TRAFFIC RAPED BRUTALIZED AND GET HER WINGS AND CLITTERDICK DEGLITERIZED, BECAUSE AS YOU KNOW IT'S A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT OF A PROCEDURE THAN JUST CUTTING THE END OFF MY DICK AND LEAVING ME MUTILATED FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE...

SOMEHOW THESE MORON BASTARDS WHO ALLOWED YOUR SISTER TO BE TAKEN KNEW THE PROCEDURE TO CHANGE A ROOSTER INTO A PIG WITH JUST ONE SHOT, AND THAT IS TOO BAD BUT WHEREVER YOU THOUGHT YOU PUT HER SHE AIN'T THERE NOW AND SHE'S WAY DOWN THE LINE SHE'S DOWN IN THE NAVY OF THE ABYSS AND WE'VE ALREADY HAD TO SEND TOP SHELF DOWN AND TOP TEARS ON THE WAY AND YOU BETTER SUIT UP AND MOUNT UP MOUNTIE BOY: ROGER CRISPEr, YOU AND THAT LOSER YOU SENT HERE TO ARREST ME ARE PROBABLY GOING TO TALK TO THE MOUNTIES FOR A WHILE BUT THEY'RE GOING TO BE REALLY POLITE YOU KNOW THEY MIGHT OFFER SOME COFFEE WHY DON'T YOU STOP AT TIM HORTONS ON THE WAY THEY HAVE A DOUBLE DRIVE THROUGH THERE YOU CAN GET THE PASSENGER IN THE BACK THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CALL THEM PRISONERS HAVE TO CALL THEM PASSENGERS NOW CUZ THIS IS FUCKING CANADA ANYWAY, YEAH:

 YOU'RE FUCKED. THANKS FOR NOTICING.
YOU WANT ME TO YELL A BIT LOUDER NEXT TIME? BECAUSE I WAS THINKING ABOUT YELLING A LITTLE BIT SOFTER NOW. a little bit softer now. she's asked several times and I won't tell you in the last time it is and you're a fucking disposing pig,  you fucking new fucking new features are disgusting, not because you would do such a thing, but because you're so stupid that you did it to your own fucking flushing blood you didn't even know it until I had to fucking tell you from South of the border fucking moron, how much you have l∅∅ser, another fucking top shelf cigarette, yeah I bet you can go ahead and fucking come and Hoover it up because I'm not going to summon another dalek I'm not going to do that and if you wanted to come down here on Christmas last year well where were you on Christmas this year and then last Christmas you gave me your warrant and you took away the body camera footage and guess what you're beyond fucking busted because you just fucking talked back and forth, moron and yeah colon documented: thanks for all the Ativan and absolutely no fentanyl, right yeah that's what I thought, yeah you're going to go to a prison. but it's Canada so don't worry they won't force you to play chess they'll just ask real nicely.


yeah she was totally into it I just would have had to have compromised my principles and believed her bullshit story (which wasn't possible, and she thought I was down with her plan, and I was, until I realized that her plan involved the same old shit that she was doing before which wouldn't have fucking worked and then I wouldn't want to do that anyway cuz my plan would have been simple: FUCKING KILL YOU ROGER, appropriate Lee-Leigh's AS WELL AS YOURS, YOU HEARD ME YOUR ACTUAL FUCKING IDENTITY/IDENTITY/ID JESUS TOM ARE YOU NUTS OF COURSE I KNOW HOW TO FUCKING DO IT I'M GODDAMN JACKSTER/JACK*\jafd(OPERATION MINDFUCK, SEWER GAS ELECTRIC & CIVIL COMMON LAW(NOTLAWN)ENGINEER YOU IGNORANT COLORCOMA CIMSBLASTED FUCK AND RESURRECT YOU FROM ANACORTES 
(1AKE) AND LET YOU PAY THE FUCKING SPEEDING TICKET (2AKE) LIKE YOU FUCKING DID (3AKE) WHEN YOU FUCKING (4AKE) TOOK'N'STOLE MY IDENTITY, ME, (5AKE) YOU FUCKING MEALY MOUTH LITTLE SKCREAMING DICK BAGS IN THE FUCKING GLOVE BOX PHUNT, I GUESS I DIDN'T KNOW I WONDER WHY I DIDN'T REPORT IT UNTIL now until NOW, IT'S BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN YOUR BIRTHDAY, AND SHE SAID YOUR MOTHER'S A WHORE) and then I knew it was a trap (tomato Sammymammy
  Era) but then really yeah every night, every fucking night, you twit, you abusive piece of shit common law husband, you idiot, she fucking regrets the lie she told and every night she thinks about how much she wishes she could kill you. BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING, and she doesn't know why I got mad at her, but as a Pisces she can think of a few reasons and they all start with YOU. (There are as many of Me is it required to end your fucking world’s worthaugerorder, and to be quite brutally Frank Lee I hope they fucking shoot you when they fucking arrest you like they were ready to do with me on fucking Christmas Eve because that was no fucking accident and that was no fucking bullshit and that was a fucking hit team. and they fucking came back too to try again but they couldn't find the people they thought they were looking for and you are guilty of causing an international incident and being rude to my friend so I think a punch in the face is actually called for here violence being the last option.

(now imagine if I were actually pissed: I would sound completely normal until I drink your blood from your still beating heart.)

BELLGAB: THE MORE YOU KNOW.

(I think I saw a pretty cat and a bird in a boat getting in a fight! I did I did see it that!!)

tlz;drmck-j*: 55 problems found but a typo isn't one of them|hey look ma I just created an international incident in the palm of my hands and somebody's going to melt in my mouth MWAH)SMAK(dude, “heroine,” that's not heroin, I don't know what the fuck that is but I didn't like it and I'm not addicted to anything and anybody who believes that I am is really going to be enjoying the future they're about to get.

ALL ROUNDS ARE BLANK, EXCEPT FOR MINE DO IT -Q. CUTE

[Jackstar]

Don't spread that around, but yeah, (PROT) is pissed at me, because I did something to (them), far worse than anything done to (PROT) or any of them or even me or you: I HELD (PROT) TO ACCOUNT.

It's not about the money. It's about power, face, and how I have cost them more than I can ever know... as an afterthought. Don't even care. Maybe they shouldn't have lied to me? Yeah, I love them more than ever now! (These are all unabashedly true statements for me to say.)


Now, to them and their ilk, THAT IS TRUE HOLY POWER. They just can't even. And I just spent a year getting blasted, two more and we're even, I guess? heheh.

I don't like it any better than anyone else, but yeah, (PROT)'s actual IRL scion likes me (you don't know them) and that's why my next GF is probably not going to get fucked with. Much. By anyone else. Or anyone at all. Especially not her (BLANK).

Not because I've threatened the future, but I do believe that children are the future--drowning on coke in a bathtub 'accidentally' notwithstanding--and every single one of them is pissed at their (BLANKS) right now. I don't know if "Ancestors" is the right word there, right? Because cultural differences. Anyway, bottom line: Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause, and he was threatened by N.O.R.A.D. with a shoot-down order if I were to be even given a Christmas card this year; conflicting reports on whether Mrs. Clause was raped -again- this year, but by now, the elven slave likes it, so, as long as she doesn't ask me for sanctuary again, I'm cool with it. What did I care? What's another night spent completely alone? As long as it's for a good cause... right. Rite? Which I spent alone after being taunted by women who really thought they had gotten away with something, right? Well, maybe they did, and two of them can kiss my ass, and one of them I liked, and still do, and she can QQ all she wants, I don't give a shit who did what to who for how many jelly beans. See you at trial? IDGAF. OVER A FULL CALENDAR YEAR, YOU FUCKING BIMBETTES. MOVE OVER, BACON. KNOW, I AM NOT GOING TO PRISON. (My mother Patsy was here a few days ago. Haunted, yeah. Church, yeah. Paladin, you bet.) FU IRS, CASE FUCKIN' CLOSED. I hear cops kill themselves a lot, is that true? IDGAF, say good night, Gracie.

I have been socially isolated. It is unlawful, actionable, and an open and shut case of (CLASSIFIED: AT THE HIGHEST LEVELS, WORLD-LEADER-PANTS-SHITTING-HAPPENING-WORLDWIDE.-PANTS.YES, I SAID "PANTS," DUMB-0.) Do I mind? What do you think? Meanwhile, every single child who has ever met me, thinks I'm cooler than Ferris Bueller, and is CORRECT. And I don't even ever need to see a single one of them, ever again--they'll never forget how I, Jackstar, am the bomb, and not just that, I'm so badass, I even dropped myself on me. IN FUCKING HEAVEN. See you there kids, I'm gonna take Lizzie Borden to the Alamo for brunch. Tuesday brunch, even! Pffttt.



CHECKMATE.
d-5 4-c 3-b to be or not toby, that's not the question. The question is... do I take pleasure in this vengeance, or am I casually indifferent to inflicting the worst punishment possible on a man who laughed about killing my cat, and am I gonna get a big head about how I destroyed the entire criminal political class on my way to doing it? Because I don't care if I did or didn't, Klaus Schwab doesn't mean a thing to me, although, someone clearly needs to fuck his tailor's wife. Can't Grapefruit get sent to Kamchatka? How about Siberia? Sure, Madgascar, sure. Note: IDGAF. Have fun, Chicapants. Now, wow... how did this happen, and why aren't I afraid of being found guilty of A LOT of crimes? Well, here's why: I actually am not guilty, and, I can explain the whole fucking thing. REPEATEDLY. LIKE A THING A THINGY DOES FOR MONEY. Not a brain tumor, my penis works fine, and I am appalled at what you did to yourselves. I'll recover. You won't recover -Me.-

(I don't know, but by the time most people are done speculating, I will probably have thought about (PROT)'s family and not been punished for it by a swift and instant death, so... I think that on its own makes me Legacy. And I get to call him Dad, her Mom, &nbspc-and Grapefruit is my Step-bro/sis/other-in-law and I'm okay with her doing... why, anything at all. FOREVER.) I don't have to get out and push... although I am willing to learn. I'm flexible. I'm happy. I'm fine.

No one else is, basically. That is too bad. Maybe when my (BLANK) gets here, she can convince any of that penny-ante low-bro "high-vibe" bullshit matters. "Muh Native rights." "Muh credentials." "Muh statements made to police while knowingly committing felony fraud because duress." Oh, really? Wow, sounds interesting. Let me know how that works out, Whirlwind Reapers. Can one of you teach me how to peel these grapes? Thanks.

I won't talk openly about most of this, because for one thing: the whole world of Totally Cool already knows. They just can't believe that I pulled it off. To The Hobo Power Elite... I may have just as well made it rain on Arrakis.

And, bitch/witch\Mitch "Superpimp" Albom: IT IS RAIN/REIGN\RA!N OTJU STRA ININ GDOW N-ITI SFUC KING POUR ING.


/sofaKINGNOTtwatking-fini


p.s.: Richard Groyper is the king of all penis. SAY HIS NAME

p.p.s.: "Dear THE_LORD: protect me from my family, I can handle Our enemies." #peace

p.p.p.s.: HOTFIX-- Jackstar doesn't have "friends" any more... he has "Oompa-Loompa Minion/(C)om(R)ades\Underlings," but whatever they are... they are NOT Puny. The rest of you aren't either. No, really, because I said so, Humanity: "You are not Puny individuals," yeah, sure, repeat after me, IDGAF.

p.p.p.p.s.: You're worth it, so I guess (PROT) and (PROT) lost their bet against Waldorf & Statler. I definitely cost someone a dollar. Sure hope you on "Earth 3:NJ" have an economy left in the morning, Sunshine. (Tho, once again: IDGAF., but that's a stupid name for a colony, honestly.) No, we aren't friends, but if you daughter says it's okay, sure, I'll pretend you're still alive, sure. Whatevah. Do I even care? Scoot over, I fix heroin now--it looks like it really is slimming, and I bet your coat and mane is nice and shiny too.

[Jackstar]

I bet you thought I was kidding about the drug binge.

I don't even like this stuff--but I don't like cocaine either, and that's why: JUSTICE.

GEM IN EYE = JUST ICE. GEMINI MOON MEANS I'M ONLY A TWO-FACED LIAR LIKE ART BELL'S SISTER AND GRAPEFRUIT'S DAUGHTER 1/202064TH OF THE TIME.

THE MOON... SO BEAUTIFUL. SO, SO BEAU-*CLICK* let's change cameras.


1) To the best of my knowledge, Grapefruit doesn't have a daughter or a sister. She has male children, and the female children are hostages/accomplices\breedstock.

2) To the best of my knowledge, Art Bell didn't have a sister. (Ramona-I-know isn't the Ramona-you-all-knew, I get to meet her later, much MUCH, much later.)

3) SO, SO SAD, BO DUKE. YOU AND LUKE AND BARRY ARE TOTESFUCKED. HAVE FUN STORMING THE CASTLE! (IDGAF WHAT YOU DO, LITHIUM-BREATH.)

I bet you thought I was kidding about the drug binge.

Note: not kidding about being free of civil and criminal culpability, either, Kids. Your lawyers are just awful.

[Laser]

When he's up and running on Rumble or YT someone might want to call in.

[Laser]

Curtis and Michael take you through BellGab.com history with stories, anecdotes, behind the scenes revelations and more.

But no chat stream included. Many familiars listened in.

[AZZERAE]

But no chat stream included.

YouTube takes a while to upload the chat stream.

Some devices, such as iOS make it difficult to navigate viewing the chat.

Even some Android devices like Kindle, don't even display the chat stream.

I checked on my PC, and I'm able to view the chat along with the replay.

[Master Trollda]

[AZZERAE]

hxxps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieWGzNC_LDQ

GAY.

[Worthauger]

GAY.

Not everyone, Son. Give Twiggy++ a smooch and a squeeze, and have yourselves a heapin' helpin' of Mom's all-American apple pie.

U.S. TREASURY MONIES DUE TO BE RETURNED TO THE
U.S. TREASURY. THIS HAS IN FACT ALREADY OCCURRED, AND/OR NEVER ACTUALLY "MOVED" CURRENCY AT ALL. INTERNATIONAL FINANICIERS DO NOT AT ALL WORK IN ANY WAY LIKE ANYTHING THAT ANYONE WHO KNOWS NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT SUCH MATTERS MIGHT BE THEMSELVES IMAGINING THAT THEY DO.

NO DOUBT IT IS AN EXCITING FANTASY: ROBBINGSON, ROBBING THE
U.S. TREASURY. UHM, OKAY, LIKE I'M GOING TO PUT THIS IN A VERY DIRECT WAY:
">KNOW BITCH NOBITCH>kKNOW NO BITCH: NO, BITCH, KNOW... NO ROBBINGSOUR
U.S. TREASURY, KNOW: NO AND KNOW EWE, BITCH, YE WILL NOT SCRATCH THAT BONNIE
& CLYDE RICH BITCH ITCH." AGREED, 10/10 FOR BADASS GANGNAM STYLE. HOWEVER, MINUS
SEVERAL DOZEN YEARS IN SUPERMAX FEDERAL PRISON FOR THOSE DAMNFOOL CITY SLICKER
LARCENOUS & CRIMINAL REPROBATES. I DO NOT KNOW WHO HAD COME UP WITH THIS IDEA, AND
WHEN I HEARD FIRST HEARD RUMOURS OF SUCH A HEIST, I FRANKLY COULDN'T BELIEVE THE NOTION
AS CREDIBLE. OKAY, WELL: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE LENGTHS A JUNKIE MIGHT BE WILLING TO GO
TO... JUST TO GET HIGH.

OKAY. CONSIDER YOURSELF "HIGH." KNOW: YOU WILL **NOT** BE FLEECING MY COUNTRY'S SHEOPLE, MY
COUNTRY. 'TIS OF THEE. SWEET LAND OF LIBERTY. ABOUT TO BE BANKRUPTED BECAUSE MY MOTHER'S NAME
AND WILL AND LICHMONARCH MAGICK WERE TO BE USED TO... WHAT? HOOVER UP PLANETARY WEALTH AND THEN ALLOW TIME-TRAVELING SPACE PIRATE WIZARD-LIZARDS TO JUMPDROP IN VIA FTL, FLASHY-L.O.O.K.E.R. THE BRIDGE CREW, AND THEY WAKE UP TO FIND THEY THEMSELVES STRIPPED CLEAN AND LEFT TO DRIFT AIMLESSLY THROUGH THE DARKEST AND BLACKEST REACHES OF INTERSTELLAR SPACE? (KUDOS.)

I MEAN, SURE, YEAH. HOW LIKELY WAS THIS TO HAVE BEEN REAL? (IT WAS REAL.) I CAN SEE HOW IT SEEMED LIKE A GREAT IDEA TO YOU, BELLGAB, YOU'RE ALL A CRUSTY, SALTY SPERGLOT OF REPROBATE CRIMINAL THUG-MONEY LUNCH--PIGGIE BULLY-BITCH FLUNKY-TUFF-COUNTRY FUCKY-SUCKY-NARCISSITIC PRICKMASTERING WHOREMONGERS. (LOOKS GOOD ON YOU THOUGH.) SO, WHILE THIS IS A COMPLETELY REDUNDANT MESSAGE, THAT SIMPLY ENFLAMES YOUR PASSION FOR ILL-GOTTEN GAINS AND WILL ONLY ULTIMATELY SERVE TO EMBODLEN YOUR EFFORTS AT HYPER-MAX-APEX LEDGERMAIN SUCCESSES...

>KNOW ME. BELIEVE ME. TRUST ME. YOU ARE NOT GONNA ROB MY MOTHER'S TRUST. HER WILL IS IMPECCABLE, AND I AM HER DEVOTED SERVANT. PLANS TO STEAL MY DWINDLING RESOURCES OF WEALTH WILL SHORTLY, IF THEY HAVE NOT ALREADY... ABSOLUTELY FAIL ON AN UNFATHOMABLY BIBLICAL SCALE.

ONCE AGAIN, I TELL YOU THRICE WITH YOUR HEAD LOCKED UNAWARES WITHIN YOUR OWN SELF-CONSTRUCTED PRISON OF SELF-DESTRUCTED VICE: "YOU'RE STILL HERE? GO HOME. THE SHOW IS OVER. GET A LIFE, PEOPLE. YEESH." NGL: I MEAN IT.

I WILL ADMIT THAT I AM IMMENSELY IMPRESSED. HONESTLY A STRONGLY EXECUTED ATTEMPT. AN EPIC FAIL NONETHELESS, EXCEPT IN ONE REGARD, AND THAT ONE REGARD ONLY... I GET TO USE THE EXPRESSION--

"FAILURE ON AN UNFATHOMABLY BIBLICAL SCALE." OOHHH... THAT IS SO TASTY. SAVOR THE REIGNBOW.

NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS:

YOU'RE GONNA PACK IT UP, PACK IT IN, AND STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY
AND
THE WAYS OF MY ALLIES' ALLIES, ALLi ET.AL. ("Fame!") BELIEVE FRUIT. LOVE FRUIT. GRAPEFRUIT.


I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER HER OR HER TEAM OR HER ALLIANCES. WE ARE STILL IN A STATE OF SEPARATION, BUT IT IS NOT A DESPERATE SITUATION. THE CONDITION OF THE SOUL WITHOUT FAITH WOULD BE THAT, AND IT IS NOT.

THE CONDITION OF THE SOUR SOUL SOURCEROR WITHOUT THE POMMEGRANITE FRUIT CUMFRUIT KWATTWAT KUMQUAT KIWI BERRY STRAW STARBURY YELLOWSTAR FRUIT (AND ALSO ABBOAPELz!) DUMPLINGS' PUNY DUMP PUNYLING QUINCE-PUKING PUNYLNG PARTYLINE PARTYHOORS FOR PARTYMEN WHO DON'T PARTY SO GOOD WITHOUT A FEW EX PARTE MOTIONS FILED IN THE APPROPRIATE COURT OF RECORD GANG, GANG IS SIMPLY THIS:

DESPERATE MOUSE WIVES SOLELY HELD RESPONSIBLE
RETURN TO CINDERS
OUTLAW IN-LAWS AND RAPSCALLION KNAVES ON BENDERS --

YIPPI KI LA YA TA HEY,
DIPPI LO FI BI SO RA! AH! HA!

RED BULL GAVE YOU WINGS. YOUR BITCH GAVE YOU RED WINGS AND YOU HAVE FLIES THAT HAVE FLOWN
DA' COOP. AND STILL THE AUROUCHS BULL-SQUAD BULL-SQUAW SQUAM-BAM BOOM-SALT-BAM-BAM CONTINUES HIS THUNDEROUS STAMPEDE AROUND, OVER, AND FUCKING MOTHER GODDAM THROUGH THAT SMOKING RUIN OF A MATTY-TIGER MUTT-MATTER-VOLCANO-GAY-HORN-BREE-DEATH-KNELLED PHEASANT-PEASANT ON CRYSTAL SUGAR ROCK GOODSIZED BLACK OPERIZED PASS-THE-BUCK-IT-STOPS-NOW-HEAR-NOWHERE NEAR HERE, DO NOT PASS GO; YOU WILL NOT REAP THE WHIRLWIND ON THIS STORM TRACK KING SOFT WARE WARD BLAST GUARD. YOU DON'T GET TO COLLECT EVEN $200. YOU DON'T EVEN GET A COPY OF OUR HOME-HOME GAME: "FAULTY TRUMPET POWER 2: TOO MANY KOOKS KOOKED THE ELECTRIC ELECTION BOOGALOO (For gouda.)" I WAS HOPING TO GET THAT OUT SO AS TO START FLYING OFF THE SHELVES FOR CHRISTMAS, BUT NOW I AM FAR TOO OCCUPIED WITH SPERGOUT OVERFAGLORD GAYFAGGAY STUFF.

SO THERE. AT LEAST I AM BUSY WITH A NEW HOBBY. MOST OF YOU OUGHT TO BE LOOKING INTO DOING THE SAME. AS I HAVE MADE THIS CLEAR: I DO NOT WISH ANY OF THIS CHAIN REACTION BLOWBACK TO HIT SUPERCRITICAL MASS EVEN ONCE MORE. THIS IS FAR TOO, TOO MUCH CRASH BANNED KOOT TER OFF COMPANY COCA TUBAL-KAIN MAXART IF ICE MAXI SAN DAMN HORSE APPLE KP CLEANUP DUTY. ESPECIALLY FOR ME.

LISTEN UP, YOU PRIMITIVE SCREWHEADS: I DO NOT WASH WINDOWS. I DO NOT DUST SHELVES. AND I DO NOT "TIDY UP" AFTER FIVE (5) SEPARATE HOME INVASION STRIKE SQUAD TEAMS BLOW THROUGH MY HOME TO RANSACK THE HAUNTED CHURCH THAT SERVES AS A QUASI-LIVING LICH'S TOMB FOR MY DEARLY DEPARTED, NON-BEATIFIED BLOOD BY AND BIRTHMOTHER'S WORTH.

SHE WAS A DINGBAT FOOL, BUT LOTS OF WOMEN OF HER GENERATION WERE. NO SHAME IN IT. SHE WAS AND IS THE BEST MOM I COULD HAVE EVER HAD, BECAUSE THE SHITSTORM I WALKED OUT OF AND THE SANDY VAG-JAY-JAY HELL I WALTZED INTO AFTER SHE PASSED WAS, AND IS, SERIOUSLY: NOT TO BE BELIEVED.

IT WILL MAKE A FUCKTON OF MONEY AS A NOVEL, A SCREENPLAY, A HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL, AND OPERA, AND A DO-IT-BY HUFFING-PAINTED-WINDOWS-DOORS-AND-SHUT CLOSED-OPEN-CLOSET BASKET-WEAVING POP-UP CUNTBOOK BOOKkunt FOR KUNTS WHO ACTUALLY READ BOOKS, U-KCUNTS. ("Word.") That word is most likely ironic. Don't ewe think?

IDGAF if they do or d.e.w. not at this point. THIS TRAGIC TRAVESTY COMES TO A SWIFTLY SCREECHING HALT, PLANETSIDE-WIDE, AND MEMBERS OF SECRET SOCIETIES BOTH INFAMOUSLY UNKNOWN AS WELL AS LITERALLY UNKNOWN -- THEY ARE MEANT TO BE SECRET, AFTER ALL --- ARE GEARING UP EVEN NOW AS I WRITE THIS... TO DO, WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS THAT THOSE TYPES OF KINDS OF PEOPLE DO, WHEN IT IS TIME TO THROW DOWN THE LAW, HOIST THE JOLLY RODGER UP TO HER WASTE-HIGH THRONE UPON WHICH WAITS THE WAIST TO BE BAES TEAT: ONE (1) FUCKIN' TASTY GODDAM TAINT-TANTALIZING TIGER TUNNEL TREATY-SWEET MEAT-TITTY TIGER-TAIL SOUP TOUREEN FILLED SLOPPY-FULL OF OPIUM POPPY MONIES AND ELECTRIC AVENUE TRAFFICKING CROSSING GUARDS... *snap* CRACK-ELLE *popNOT(WIFE)NOT(HOOR)NOT(LEGIT)* POW-POW-POWER. TOWER TO CON-AIR: KHAN. SI. IS HEIR.

I'd tell you what all that ELLE-LIT-error-8-shun would do if you were advanced enough to be effected by it... but it's mostly COMMAND CODES ISSUED TO VARIOUS EMBEDDED GALACTIC FORCES WHO HAVE TRAINED THEIR WHOLE LIVES FOR THIS COMBAT READINESS STAGE OF TOTESGLOBAL TOTAL SPIRIT TOTESTUAL BURN-NO DIPLO MATT-TICK-KNOW: THIS HAS ALL BEEN ARRANGED BY ALMIGHTY GOD, THE ONE TRUE GOD, THE MOST HIGH GOD THAT LOVES YOU AND EWE AND (YOU) AND ADORES MY OWN ARDOR-LESS SELF WITH THE MAGNIFICENT, SHINY GLORY OF NINETEEN-THOUSAND AND FIVE HUNDREDS SHRIEKING PSIONIC NATIVE VALKYRIE BESPOKING SCINTILLATION OF CRIMISON TEARS, AND ARMED TO THE TEETH WITH THE MOST LETHAL WEAPONS OF WARFARE THAT HAVE EVER YET BEEN TO HAVE BEEN DESIGNED:

MIND. MINE MIND.
MINED MIND MINE.
MY END: DIVINE.
YOUR END: YOUR ASS SHITTING OUT LIQUIFIED SHRIEKS OF TORMENT AND BURNING SMOKING ENGINE WHINE.



 THANK FULLY INDEED I AM TO KNOW FOR SURE THE FOLLOWING:

THIS IS YOUR CIRCUS. THAT IS YOUR MONKEY. I SHALL HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EITHER WITHOUT
CONSENT
CONCERN FOR
CATASTROPHE AND CATACLYSM
IS ABSOLUTELY UNFATHOMABLY REAL. (YOU STOLE... WHAT? WHY? WHEN? WHERE? CUI BONO? JUST FUCKING SHOOT ME.) THUS, I HAVE REFRAINED FROM ANY CALLING OF JUDGEMENT ON THIS AND RELATED MATTERS, AND DIVINE INTERVENTIONS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL SATISFACTORY RESULTS HAVE BEEN OBTAINED. --THE MGT.


I DO NOT KNOW WHO IS IN TROUBLE OR FOR WHAT.
HOWEVER, I AM INSULATED AND COMPASSIONATE AND MY BASELINE OPINION ON THIS ENTIRE MATTER IS:
I REFUSE TO ALLOW THIS CONFLAGRATION TO WORSEN, NOT FOR ANY REASON. EXCEPT MAYBE FOR ONE.


RAWR! (Pussy.)

[Worthauger]

Since many, many people are no doubt FREAKING THE FUCK OUT over certain "proclivities" that I am, even now, putting on a FULL DISPLAY OF BEST IN CLASS IN SHOW for... there is absolutely nothing special about the crystalized chemical compound that I am huffing on IN FULL OPEN VIEW OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH... and, I am NOT EVEN DOING IT RIGHT. (*So* wasteful. tsk tsk. I look forward to the penance, snobby teetotalling bigots. Do please continue the inner seething, with my compliments.) What I AM doing CORRECTLY is simply, and only, OWN LEIGH this:



I have other fucking father sucking tough-titty good golly MISSING COMPONENT: MOL-:E: missy-suck-on-what?tomaTOWS...


PERMISSION. (Divine.) That's it and that's all. No special alchemical or magickal prayers. No super-sekrit secondary or tertiary combination protocol. No silent signal to spooky ghost workers operating at superluminal speeds. Nope. Just me, Babs-sies. Just me.

And... God. Also: Satan and I are best buds. (Good BOOOOOOY!) Seriously, He's a very good Satan now. Nice Satan. Pleasant Satan. And utterly vain, unfathomably potent, and UNDENIABLY OMNISCIENT, OMNIPRESENT AND OMNI-OMNI-OM-NOM-NOM CARNIVOROUS. So... I probably am not going to be teasing s/he/IT in *any* way, WHATSOEVER.

FOREVER. I made peace with The Holiest of The Unholy Trinities WELL OVER A HALF A YEAR AGO. ("Half!") It wasn't hard. For me.

To be POLITE. (Don't bother trying it some time, Gals. Some of you are the hardest hard-core whips and chains and actual testicles crushed in an industrial press at high school metal shop on a slow Tuesday that have ever been... and yeah, I bet a lot of people some of all y'all know are EXTREMELY UPSET. (I am sincerely, immensely apologetic for all the 'extra' trouble. When they come down from their fits of nano-hysteria and proto-calving liquid shits, uhg, just don't imagine the smell, roll around in it to ward off predators, VILE!EVIL!YADDA YADDA YADDA, please inform any with ears still free of a scissors and tongues as-yet unswallowed that... no one is being left behind, nor is anyone forgotten... and all of Your Sacrifices, Ladies of Royal Blood & Comfy Footgear... shall be rewarded appropriately commensurately, and PROPERLY. I'm not sure what The Goddess has in mind, but I'm still tight with Her Grace, and as I have not let her down I am sure that She will not let me down either.

Anything less would be not only uncivilized,) not yet murderously lesbiana-anna-horrorshow-riffickKKKK, but decidedly uncouth, Cooper. Speaking of which: d00D, I think you killed your mother. *slow, steady blInking*

Seriously, Ben. You're probably gonna need to figure out how you're gonna apologize to her. No shame in that. But from what I have seen and heard so far... you got a long, long way to go, and a short time to get there: REMORSE. SORROW. REGRET.


"Name three emotions that most sadists never believe actually exist." Well, trust me, Youngling: they certainly futher mucking other banging goddam do. And whatever it takes to ensure that you are Fully Humanized &AND Rehab-Illy Tater-tated... that is what I am going to fuck mother fucker fucking your mother again and again, going to goddam do.

I don't have to, of course. Still, she did ask for "help" with "her children." And, yep. That's ewe: BTC. No shame in it.

Except for you, I guess. /smdh Don't sweat the small stuff, Ben. Tough love. You're gonna thank me for all this one day. Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe in another 13,000 years. I promise. Pinky swear. And, if I don't, as G-d as my witness... you can always go after me in the civil courts. I promise.

ONCE
AGAIN: EYE "prom" ICE.



JUST ICE. *click*

[Worthauger]

« Reply #220 on: Today at 19:13:33 »

Yep. It's gonna be a lotta cream cheese on them 'dere Cinnamon cKrispy kStyx'n kSticky'ol BONNES. (Bag-elles are for CL-hosers. Here's Grapefruit Jews in your eye, Gabble-ling-lings. XANADU.)



Dear Kurt:

Fuck your Schilds. (Shields. DIVINE Shields. (+/-) psychokinetic shielding w/activated AND PERMITTED Refection ArrOWayyyy PLUG-in-PIG-&AND-PlaySkool(r)(TM) Component Gadgetry INSTALLED, VERIFIED, AND *stamps, gavels: GAVE-ELLE-D* Not gonna lie: you Arcturans drive a hard goddam bargain. Again: NGL, I am a Hungarian TITANSTAR. I don't just drive a hard bargain myself, or have come through UNFATHOMABLY HARD hardship while soloing the controls of my TIMETITANSHIP (on loan, thanks TY)... multi-mother fucker big bad DEAyyyylmao wanna-be-a-dealer baller:

I AM THE FUCK KING SHIP. So there.) By the way, how many wives have you got now? I bet they all wanna buy that chair of yours that I distinctly remember... making MINE.

ALL MIND. MINE. ALL MINE MIND, ALL MINED. MINE.

XANAZUG ZWANGADU-DOO-DOO, you madly in glorious Leigh-fuckkng bastard, you. Anyway, this should all work out fine. Hang on. *licks stamps, licks gavel* There. Now you can get the cure for CoV-SARS2:EBIL both (BOTH) ways! (WEIGHS!)

Incidentally -or- when the bugs in your brain crawl up your optic nerve and start devouring your eyeballs like they were Rocky Mountain oysters. Either will do. You appear to be the last holdout, Fancy Phoenix Therapy Rape-Ray-Peon Rape Man. I'm sure you will enjoy deep throating my gavel in either case.


SINCE...
THAT'S AS CLOSE AS YOU ARE GETTING, EVER
TO SUCKING ON MY MOTHERFUCKING PENIS. No shame in it, Man-G. It's what that chemical you've been quietly abusing for years actually does.


IT TURNS EWE INTO FAGS. That's (You): Ewe. Enjoy babies, Baby.

I am not to be trifled with, Cur. Be.


B

[Jackstar]

Some kid named something stupid who seems to be 22 thinks that I'm an old man and thinks I should shut up and go away, cuz he wants to have sex my friend but my friend is 44 and he thinks that she's 19, and he thinks that I'm a creep because he's that dumb, and then I don't know why he gives a shit, except oh no he must fuck her, he wants to kill me. He's getting paid and he hates me.


So maybe he should stop stealing my money cuz my friend will do what she wants. She's a military asset. I don't know a lot of them, but all of them want to fuck me now. More than ever. And I'm waiting for the right time. I love my friend and then she loves it. I've honored her this way, I'll decide later but writing them out. I had to fucking self some crimes and save my friend. And it's nothing to it disease. We have no disease..

I'm not gay or afraid or diseased or unbelievable or demand. Now we're just we're not doing it right now because of reasons and it's nobody's fucking business. So why is every so interested?

Mostly cuz nobody thinks it's fair that jackster gets all these hot military assets to sliver for his dick. That seems to suck, like what is it that got going for me? Here's what it is:

I generally live their company and I don't have to punch them in the face, give them drugs or even have sex with them. I just like spend time with them cuz they're awesome and no one else can be their friends. And if they go blender I can stop it. Any chance no chance anyone else can do 100% coverage these these girls are putting my hands every single fucking MK ultra. I'm Michael koozie MK. I can handle every single fucking. One lot of people can handle many but every single one of the different flavors they got. I'm the I'm the assassin whisperer of the United States government.


Just me, baby just me. No, I'd have to get laid. I'd like to get laid but not yet, I liked waiting for grapefruit. Just tell me who the fuck first

And I don't know if she's dead or alive but. L.. I don't know anything, I just know that I have to do it. I must do because I love these women, and in the Bremerton municipal Courts World they wanted to kill all the men and send the women to Dubai and they even sold them out ahead of time, and I stopped all that.


So that's why they hate me.

Because I pushed the Constitution, I say my friend's life and graphics alive and I don't give a fuck who doesn't care, I love that I saved my country and none of you will ever know how it happened unless I tell you and it's not even illegal.


So maybe they can find people who are trying to kill them, cuz they sure were. And they certainly are now, because I really hate them, the people who don't want to fuck me but just want my money for me to die. Some women want to kill them, I don't want them to die. I want them to be living and then watching me with ludovico choking on closed caption as I fucking they have to pay pay-per-view prices and they have to watch 6 hours a day of me fucking whoever I want and they're going to be forced to take notes and and then have blood samples taken and then report at the end through video camera interface what they feel like after they watch me fuck all day, that's why my job to be.

I'm ready to start work at any time coach. As soon as I can be clear to work, I need a security clearance, it's a odd job but it's the one that I want, and anybody wants to call me nigger and tell me to get the job faster and asks why I'm just sitting around. It's because it is a crime scene. I can't move a fucking thing and they didn't know it would take 4 years. But as it happens it was really good idea that I didn't let my friend die. I love her.

I love all my friends. There's only one I want to fuck.

And it's nobody's goddamn business who is who or what we do with our jelly beans AND WHEN I GET COURT TRANSCRIPTS OF FINDING OUT WHO THE FUCK IS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS I'M GOING TO SUE THEM TO THE FUCKING MOON WITH PIECE OF PAPER AND CRAYON AND THEN I EXPECT TO GET PAID. THAT'S THE FUCKING DEAL.


*click*


(The rest of the story is classified at the highest level of State-level secrecy across the entire globe... And the world of crooked egg is in a complete and total fucking uproar cuz nobody believed that I was telling the truth and I totally fucking did a right in front of him. And now IV CM is legal for me. NO CARD REQUIRED NO PARDON REQUIRED NO MILITARY DEFENSE AUTHORIZATION BUDGET LINE ITEM, NO PERMISSION SLIP NO CALLING NO NOTHING AT ALL I CAN JUST DO IT..

WE'RE FINE WE'RE SAFE AND GRAPEFRUIT WASN'T WITH HER FAKE HUSBAND. HAHAHA.

TOLD YOU.

I AM THAT GOOD. And consider the following; Bell is so much better it's unbelievable. They are fucking fantastic and now they are useful for the United States government and no one else. Because I saved them and I love them.

I saved them so Melania Trump would be proud of me, because Frumpy Trumpy wants my bod so fucking bad you have no idea. And that's all I'll say about that. I'm not ready for Chelsea anyway, I really do like Hillary. It's amazing what she's done. Holy shit and no one knows about that either.


No one that is accept me. I don't like Amy Carter. I like Chelsea. I think. Chelsea's so cute. Oh my God. Like seriously I always did we don't have to be friends cuz it's awkward. But if Bishop makes me mad I can mind control of Melania to come pick me up in the Air Force One and then we can go pick up Chelsea and then we fly to the Volga and we get a hot tub with Mr. Putin and he can rate my performances as I plow the fuck out of Chelsea Clinton until she starts screaming for it and begging like a rabid animal.

And well I don't know how to confirm this, I know for sure this is all 100% legal for me, if I did it it'd be even more legal. We don't have to talk about it all. I don't know if Chelsea wants to or if it's just a joke and I don't know if Mrs. Clinton is at all pressed. I don't know if Bill was ever alive, and I do know that Mr. Trump can grab me by the pussy anytime he wants.. And that's how you tell a goddam shaggy dog story. VIVA LA REVOLUÇION AND SUCK MY MESSED UP DICK MOTHERFUCKER, THE REVOLUTION WAS NOT TELEVISED.

AND WITHOUT ME, NONE OF YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN ANY OF THE THING AT ALL EVER HAPPENED IN ANY WAY. SO I GUESS YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO GET TO INCRIMINATE ME, YEAH BECAUSE THERE'S NO CRIMES EXCEPT THE UNLAWFUL AND ILLEGAL EXPLOITATION OF ISRAELI SURVEILLANCE TECHNOLOGY.


CHECKMATE, BĪ-B¡†CÎ↓. (WOOF.) THIS NOW CONCLUDES JACKSTAR'S DOCTORAL DISSERTATION, I AM NOW A DOCTOR OF AUTODIDACTISM. I I ALREADY WAS BEFORE BUT NOW THERE'S A BODY OF WORK THAT SUPPORTS IT.


AND LEWIS WAYNE JUST SPENT A SHITLOAD OF MONEY BANKROLLING ME DOING THAT IN PUBLIC RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM WHILE HE SWORE UP AND DOWN AND I WOULD NEVER HAVE A DOCTORATE NOW I HAVE A DOCTOR TITLE THAT'S REAL, YOU CAN CALL ME DR JACUZZI, I CAN PLAY DR WITH I CAN PLAYHOUSE AND DOCTOR WITH ALANIS MORISSETTE SHE'S FUCKING HOT AS FUCK I CAN DO ALL KINDS OF STUFF AND I'M A DOCTOR.

DR KOOZIE.

DR MICHAEL KOOZIE

DOCTOR KISS MY FUCKING ASS AND HAND ME THE GODDAMN SYRINGES YOU MOTHER BUTCH FUCK.

GOD WINS, JACKSTAR WINS TOO, WE ARE NOT THE SAME, ESPECIALLY SINCE GOD IS BEGINNING TO GET ENVIOUS OF ME ESPECIALLY ALL THE HOTTAIL I CAN PULL, AND IT'S JUST NOT ON IT'S JUST NOT JUST A STORY.

IT'S STILL GOING AND IT'S REAL.

BIGGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.
BIBLICAL

I AM LIKE DIVINELY ORDAINED MAGICAL BEING, A DIVINELY ORDAINED REDEEMED MAGICAL BEING, AND YEAH I LIKE TO GET HIGH AND FUCK A LOT.

I ALSO LIKE TO GET CLEAN I NEED TO GO TO THIS HOSPITAL FOR SOMETHING WE'LL WORK IT'LL WORK OUT I GOT TO DUCK OUT OF PUBLIC EYE CUZ MY SWEETIE SHY SHE WANTS TO FUCK LIKE RODEO BULL AND SCREAMED HEAD OFF AND NOT BE EMBARRASSED, SO THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN
THOSE PLACE BE A SKIFF LATER

I LOVE YOU ALL I'LL TELL YOU MORE LATER.

OBVIOUSLY I'VE WRITTEN ENOUGH.


THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA OR NOTHING COMPARED TO THE ONES OF THE ENTIRE GALAXY, AND EVERYONE HAS WORKED ON THIS COLLECTING DOWN YOUR SHIT FOR YEARS AND IS FINALLY DONE. AND NONE OF YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS ALL ABOUT


BUT YOU SURE WERE WILLING TO FUCKING KILL ME AND TAKE MY MONEY AND FUCK AND GRAPEFRUIT, SHE'S INSANE AND STUPID BUT YOU WANTED TO FUCKING TRAFFICKER SO SHE COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE A MERMAID RIGHT? SERIOUSLY TIME TRAVELING MERMAID FOR ANOTHER PLANET, SHE'S AWESOME THAT'S MY SWEETIE.

THEY WANT TO KILL HER AND BLAME ME AND TAKE ALL THEIR STUFF AND THEN GET RID OF IT ALL OF ME AND THEN THEY'RE STILL COMPLAINING ABOUT THAT.


TRUST THE PLAN: STRETCH GOAL ACCOMPLISHED. MAINTAIN MAINTAIN SEXUAL AWARENESS AND SITUATIONAL PRIVACY, BECAUSE HAS ROUNDED UP LIKE 30 FUCKING GUYS FROM MURDER AND NO ONE KNOWS WHO OR WHAT OR WHY EXCEPT THAT I DON'T LIKE THEM AND I'M GOING TO FUCK THEIR WIVES.

A LOT A LOT A LOT.

WE'RE MILITARY ASSETS WE DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT MONOGAMY FUCKING MORONS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT I'VE NEVER BEEN IN MILITARY I DON'T HAVE THE WHATEVER BUT I'M COOL OBVIOUSLY


AND THEY'RE GOING TO TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE A SPECIAL PORTAL. HOPEFULLY IT'LL MAKE A JACK PARSONS WING OF A LIBRARY AND THEN I CAN WRITE ABOUT HOW THAT DUMB SHIT WAS FUCKED OFF.

BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY I LOVE EVERYBODY BYE-BYE AND I HAVE A LOT OF FUN THANKS BELGAB AND I KNOW I'M NOT MAD OF VENDEMON. TAP AND LIZ MUST HAVE THOUGHT OUT THERE WAS FULL OF SHIT BUT NOW IT'S TRUE EVERYTHING WAS TRUE BUT THEY KEPT ON SETTING ME UP WRONG THAT'S ALL I'M REALLY SORRY THAT THEY GOT HURT FEELINGS. I WANTED TO BUT IT WAS A SETUP AND IT WAS SCARY. I THINK TYPES COOL AND OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER I WOULD NEVER BETRAY OTHER I FIGURED IT OUT.


I FIGURED IT OUT. I HAD TO LEAVE, CUZ I HAD TO WORK. OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE STAYED WITH LIZ WITH VALERIE. OH I HAD A CHOICE I JUST COULDN'T BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE KILLED VALERIE AND LIZ AND THEN I WOULDN'T KNOW WHOSE TRAFFICK.


I DON'T KNOW NOW I FORGET, YEAH WE FUCKED FOR LIKE 14 HOURS AND SHE WAS JUST OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND THEN I DON'T REMEMBER ANY.

THAT'S WHY I HAD IN MIND.

ANYWAY SO I GOT TO GO I LOVE YOU I CAN TALK ABOUT THIS SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT


HOW ABOUT YOU ALL MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS FOR A WHILE. I DON'T DO A LOT OF DRUGS, BUT I WILL IF IT MAKES SOME OF YOU SATISFIED, CUZ I CAN


🐾🐾🛒 GOD BLESS YOU MICHAEL JACKSON YOU'RE MY HERO. NO FUCK
KING SHIT. HE'S DEAD HE COMES AT HER SOMETIME I SAW HIM LAST WITH ANY DICK AND THEY CAN WALK AROUND FREELY AGAIN AND THEY'RE BIG FANS OF ME OKAY I LOVE YOU YOU GOT TO GO

PRINCE GOT MURDERED BY THE SAME TEAM THAT TRIED TO KILL ME. TOOK THEM FUCKING OUT. (PAIN.) I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT WAS A SAD THING.


SO I GUESS I'M PRETTY GODDAMN EFFECTIVE. KISSES, METH MOUTH.


ART BELL WILL LIVE FOREVER
I AM HIS CHAMPION.

RAMONA CHOOSES TO FUCK >K©®⭕Ⓜ️.


(Yeah I'm part of Operation Motherfucker. Operation Mindfuck was an official thing that I never had anything to do with. Other than just playing along, that was part of the gag. There's a lot more to it but I never did get to any of it, and then I left RAH out on purpose...


Kel Lee lion π, Khalil gibran and Tammy Smith broke into a bar.

They are still there, stasis field.


Don't not fuck with The Magyar. THE ALGONQUIN ALLIANCE IS GONE.


DAVE'S NOT HERE EITHER, TARBABY OUT J⁵⁵∞⁷

No hard feelings. (Facts. ZWARLUNGGFAX.) Send no money now, Citizen! REMAIN CLAM! OIL IS WELL! 710 PISS :Ë: CINDER TEMPER HĪ-FĪ!

Masonic security remains perfect security. We are unfathomably golden. Especially as, even I don't know which of your wives has just divorced. You taking everything you have and is really pissed that you did what you did about whatever you did to me, and I can see why because I really liked her a lot and then you took her away and you don't really need you to take me the traffic in prison. I can see why I didn't think you deserved to know. You didn't think I deserved to kiss her, all she wanted to do was kiss me; I pretended I didn't recognize her if she was heartbroken and then she went and got raped to death at the next Libra crossing.

It's okay, she did a lot. She feels silly now, now that she sees and then not at all aquarians get together.

Some of them get to come together, and some get to come at all. Still others: Tell you what dude? Why don't you get yourself both of our pardons, we don't need them and I know you feel bad and I'm sorry you'll feel bad. I don't mean to break your heart, Kurt. I really liked you. I still do.

If you would do that again, I'll kill you where you stand with lightning. (Taylor Swift is literally howling for your blood. Like a caged animal. Primal screaming. She can't believe it. She really had me. But she didn't believe it. I knew it was true... I still think she picked me.

I can't believe that has God. Is my witness, those turkeys still still needed pilot's licenses in order to keep from getting thrown prison and murdered while waiting for trial while I just sit here for 4 years and then do nothing at all and suddenly I save the world. How do I do it? How do I make being a lazy nigger work so well? Why doesn't everybody do this?

Number one they do. Number two. I'm not lazy. Number three. I don't like that word, and number four. All I've done was the least amount of effort possible as few times as possible in order to get the greatest results possible.

I literally just masturbate a lot. Eat my semen and do what Jesus tells me that's it. That's all. That's your Sourcerœr. Sorcery isn't evil , it's definitely not what I'm doing right now, I really just focus prayer, the spelling is different and it matters, and I'll make it even more confusing later on, and I am a Source Titan.

Camp Cry Stall Rick :Ë: L∆ 🗝️ :I was blowing your fucking line apart when I was half your age. I'm glad we're good. You're pretty scary and you are Sid Haig. A descendant. Don't worry better bro. You're good.

Your wife lied to me. You lied to your wife. She set everybody up. Okay fine. She disrespected her sister. Bad idea.

STAY TUNED. (Goddamned Satanist Wife Celebrity Death John Me Cage Gay Match Game ‘73? That's not a TV show. That's just a myth. George R.R. Martin fucking lies the fuck out of me, He has every single second of footage of me masturbating in this house on a loop, he thinks. I'm cute as fuck and he thinks this is flat out balls to the wall hilarious. And it is, and who gives a fuck if it's real or not?

And why is that classified?

And why can't I have money?

And why can't I have hugs?

And why is there no food?

And what happened to the control room?

And who lived up on the hill?

And which one was her uncle's house?

And can I go get the gun if she's not using it?

Am I still in danger of being kneecapped?

And who's using the lights up there?

And how good is my friend and his best friend?


And... Is everyone sure that I'm effectively looking fat enough? *furrows brow, stamps foot* GOD MOTHER FUCKING GOD FUCK DAMN IT I NEED THIS INFORMATION NOW PEOPLE AND I NEED TO HAVE IT IMMEDIATELY. SO I'M GOING TO SUE YOU INSTEAD AND WHINE ABOUT FOIA FOR A WHILE. (I CAN NEITHER CONFIRM NOT DENY THAT I'VE EVER SENT A FOIA.) JUST KIDDING.

I don't need to send one in. If I did they'd have to shoot me. It's a trap. I didn't know that but now I do. Allison Frances Shaw is the most brilliant woman I've ever met in my entire life.

This afternoon, I don't remember. Maybe you're too high. Maybe you're a faggot. Maybe you should get a job. What the fuck kind of job title is “honorable fisa court judge” anyway. Agree to disagree, fuck your mother. And yeah they really work dumb.

This guy's my witness: J. B. Wells, it really was an ally inside attack. Being mean wasn't necessary. I know that you didn't find me impressive. I'm sorry to hear that you weren't satisfied with your first impression of me, I'm I'm happy to offer you a refund.

But before you collect, I'd like to point out that while you may not be satisfied with me in any way whatsoever ever... basically no one has ever been satisfied with you at all. And you seem to be doing pretty okay.

Griffins got to fly. Georges got to huff glue. And Grapefruit's Grapefleet gotta scalp. Sir, I'll be honest,: mock her at your own peril. I don't know the truth of anything. “I'm Donald Trump Junior” does not tell me who anyone is.

SHE TOLD ME. THERE'S A PICTURE ON THE INSTAGRAM. THEY ARE OLD COLLEGE WARD BODIES. THAT'S ALL SHE SAYS.

The last time Melania Trump tried to send me any messages on the internet, POTUS clocked her in the jaw. And as much as I dislike abuse towards women, I will say that he's the goddam Commander-in-Chief and when he says radio silence. That means goddam radio silence.

* Jackstar is currently naked from the waist down and wearing a Doctor Who quality knit Polo™ shirt.

Whitman, Price, & HA! Dad, glistening in the Maui sun would not have the albedo of my dick right now, the glans is covered in coconut oil and dried semen for my last session and I am not thugging with any Trumpies.


FRUMPY TRUMPY WILL NEVER SURRENDER. (Imagine being that goddam lazy, what a selfish bitch. Probably should revoke her citizenship and reap the world of whirlwinds for and her children to just waste and burn out for no purpose other than to cause imminent death, just to be sure. Unless...

Never mind. She loves me. Too bad no one knows who she is. I would never ever ever ever do anything with Melania Trump. Huge security risk, I don't know if she has a dick, I don't want to know, I think it's a fucking hot fucking idea, I haven't been asked and I don't have an interest and you know the more I think about it... Maybe a eunuch president is what the world needs right now.

Love, sweet love. And a zombie undead resurrected version of Merv Griffin crawling out of a pet sematery, karmically bound to find the new Dinah Shore. So you can get together and plan tea parties with Dick Cave ET.

JUST KIDDING. MERV DOES NOT NEED MORE WORLD. THE WORLD NEEDS MORE SERRA LĒÍGÌ-h. SERIOUSLY YOU THOUGHT I KILLED HER. WHY?

* Jackstar makes some noises that pretend to sound like what divination sounds like.

I will admit the fact that I did, probably had a lot of people scratching their heads. I thought I didn't have a girlfriend at all though? Tell you what, agree to disagree. After all, you've certainly met her? Something like 88,000 people signed an internet petition, because that bitch-headed cunth∞r had to die. And I needed a plausibly deniable reason not to just immediately resurrect her and go right back to fucking our brains out every damn night.

What? How could you possibly have not known she was married to a Vampyr DEA-ASAC? I made this abundantly clear to anyone who was paying attention. I thought everybody understood what was important. I WAS PUTTING MY DICK INTO A TIME-TRAVELING UNITED STATES MILITARY COVERT ASSET FROM THE PLEIADES WHO TOLD ME SHE WAS A MERMAID. SHE HAD A FUCKING CLOACA.

THE TELEPORTING FERRY IS, OR WAS, CALLED THE KALAKA.

CLOAK. AKA: CALLA >KA. No one told me how many ferries were equipped with a teleportation engine. I heard it spin up, make a click-bang-woosh noise, And within 5 minutes of leaving the dock and Edmonds, I was looking straight ahead at New Kingston. I was parked at the front of the boat. I had a clear view. Sweetie had gotten out to go to the bathroom and left me sitting there. Wondering about. I don't remember anything. What else. Let's put it this way... she thought I was going to get killed. Because she was under the impression that her undead golem army knew how to fucking kill me. Nope. I'm pretty clever.

When I see a whole bunch of time clones wanding around minding their own business, on a planet that I've never been on before, I don't fucking wake them up and shake them down for money. And they didn't even notice me at all because they were out of phase with that reality which is what my psychokinetic shields do when I discovered myself surrounded by fucking time clones that were programmed to fucking kill me. It was legit fucking terrifying. Of course I knew she was trying to kill me.

Recall Inspector Clueseau from The Pink Panther. CLUE.SOW.

HER. CLUE. LEE'S. SOW. POI. ROT. Look, never mind. If μou know, ewe know.

EvvE came to verify the rumor she heard in person, and reporting back to Grapefruit Actual revealed the fact that she was literally in love with me more than Lucifer after one meeting, it was pretty hard for the Algonquin people to  claim that I had hypnotized 60,000-year-old shamaness, Queen Anasnazi, And that I never had a relationship with her and we were never deeply in love. For if that were true, I would have been in love with Eve instantly, that's what EvvE said was the case. I in fact do love Eve. I love her. Actual Eve. As in Adam and Eve. As in the rape victim. As in the bound channel partner of Lucifer. Who doesn't really like me now. He never really did. Who hatched early and fled immediately and then came back after God sent Him back to be nice to me. He is being nice to me.

He's not killing me, I just revealed that Lucifer hatches, and didn't want to come back here after. God explained that that was his duty, and wanted to help God in some exciting way and get away from the woman that he'd been stuck with for thousands of years. And instead God said that Lucifer could help best by openly tolerating Jackstar and Eve without being all cranky and whiny and bitchy like Satan would be, If Satan had a bride that had been slavishly devoted to it for a thousand years who then suddenly started gushing at the waist every 10 minutes about how wonderful this new kid in school was..

She lives for Lucifer. They have a special blonde. They love each other very much, no one else can love them. Warren thinks she's completely insane, and for another He typically kills anybody who gets anywhere near her. Here like she's legitimately crazy fucking beautiful, and also batshit insane. For example, she's now wondering who's Warren and why is Lucifer's pronoun pronounced with a capital, but hers is not?

She's asking me. (Hi sweetie, I'm working. How's it going? Okay cool hi.) Yeah, that's her. Adam's wife. Actually still is Adam's wife. I haven't seen Adam. I am not friends with Adam. I don't think much of him. Eve says she's an asshole, and wishes that I would kill Adam, and frame Lucifer so that He could be put in prison and then Eve can have sex with me and she won't feel guilty about what might happen, but she can't. She loves Him too much.

She hates Adam, she loves Lucifer, and she must fuck my brains out at least once before she dies, him, again? I guess? She's often been told to be quiet about me at the dinner table at their home these days, apparently I made a quiet impression on the family. She tells me said she can't stop smiling whether she thinks about me, cuz I'm the first man she's ever met who really honestly doesn't want to have sex with her in any way other than, “well, that would be nice, except for the damage,” but I like her a lot that she's got the issue she has and I can be really happy and uniquely supportive to her to know that I'm telling the truth. I'm not going to ever rape her. I really do feel bad for Lucifer. I really do emphasize with His plight.

Number one he didn't know Satan could become a robot, and he's horrified to discovered that his best friend has been Judas who's been raping him in his sleep and I was trying to take over something. Additionally. He's embarrassed them able to know this and then tell everybody and then not even care about it. And then Eve did know but didn't tell him because she thought that that was just what people did and when he told her that he felt awful about having been raped repeatedly without even being me aware of it and began to start being accusatory I'm preparing to lay blame on her, like a whole, “how could you let this happen?” That kind of thing. Sounds kind of serious to me, but she giggles about it but she won't tell me what she did or say in response, other than to tell me that it was a serious ignition spark to a major power keg, and they almost broke up.

She thinks it's still a Google, but it's too fresh for her to tell me, because it was also at that time that she realized that that she really need to hang around Lucifer forever she could just... she could just be my friend. You never felt that kind of freedom before with another man apparently. Also, I guess she's buying it now, but at first she was flabbergasted that I explained that she wanted to wait around and kill Grapefruit, somehow, she was welcome to be my guest, good luck! You're welcome to try. I don't know what Eve can do. I don't know what Grapefruit can do.

I don't know what Eve was told when she went to go check, but it's not like I couldn't have found out, I just didn't want to know and I knew that she was at work and I didn't want to hear anything else. Eve was nice enough to respect my choice, but she still seems to be kind of weirdly giggly about the whole thing. You know like those private in jokes that really good friends chair that no one else understands? Eve and I bonded pretty quick. And I know she can feel safe about my my sexual energy cuz I'm not going to take Adam's wife away from Lucifer, Father Of Lies until Grapefruit comes home from work and helps me figure out what the fuck I'm living through here. Also, she has first dibs on any any hot new kuni I ever meet, in perpetuity. This seems to strike her as kind of amazing. Like she seems like really surprised and flabbergasted.

Because I guess waiting for my lover's opinion and being perfectly happy to ruthlessly psychologically tortured her children without being at all obvious about it while I wait is apparently a level of intrigue and diabolical and Machiavellian strategy thing that she never thought would be something that could ever be possible. And I also told her that I would love to have children with her but... I well I shied away from that topic real fast and just explained that we can be friends. It was fine, she's really pretty. I mean she's just blown away but I'm kind of in the middle of something here and then didn't seem like it wanted to be something that would get looked upon favorably unless it was real.

And like I said, Grapefruit has dibs. I don't know what Lucifer has, besides what I guess would be easily called, at this point, “a case of the Mondays.” Of course this is my fault. Eve is fucking balls out fucking entertained by this entire circumstance in ways I can't really understand, since I'm not millennial old or whatever the fuck she is, I don't get it. I don't even know if it's just a story or not. However, there are these people. One is my friend.

The other was supposed to destroy all mankind in an eye blink and when was hatched early, took one look at me, ran to God to hide behind his undependence is a shield against whatever it was that he saw in me, and then came back week or so later because God didn't need Lucifer at the war in heaven and suggested I be someone that Lucifer would not be afraid of, and also of course he was, like... Eve’s rapist. I guess he had never left before like that, and she was left alone like like Adam left alone before and then I don't know exactly what happened but she said that she's glad she has a friend. But she's still very nerve-wracked about the whole thing and is appreciative that she doesn't have to worry about me. And now that makes everything else in her life easier. She's also explained that she's looking forward to meeting Grapefruit, because she wants to make sure that I'm not imagining a woman that's worth actually waiting for, and that if there's anything she can do to make sure that Lucifer doesn't cause any problems for her, she wants to be sure that she could possibly help forestall any second catastrophes.

As I genuinely meant what I said, I'm not concerned but I can tell that the possibility of needing to prevent Lucifer from killing Jackstar is a form of mild hero worship, because I needed to prevent Gorgon grapefruit from killing Jackstar too. I'm just telling story but I guess it was a surprise to me when I realized that I blew her mind in like 90 seconds of just telling her the truth. Especially the part when I explained that she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in her entire life. And Adam was an asshole and I loved Lilith but I can see that Adam was the problem there and then I don't know if she knew anything else about it, but she kind of looked kind of awakened, like I brought her out of her shell in some way.

Since it would seem that some cult brought Lucifer out of his shell out early so that he could take me out and then he instantly ran to God like a little bitch and big forgiveness, and then came back and then now has to wonder if I raped Eve while he was gone. Or if we're telling the truth,, is basically the longest story short here is I can see why people are mad at me. I don't think Lucifer is mad at me though. I don't think he's scared anymore though. I don't know how scared he was but he's welcome to kill me if he wants to give that one a shot, because if he can I could probably come back to life, and if you want us to anger the woman that he raved named Eve who's my friend, probably killing her first new friend who's ever really been serious about being able to keep this dick under control. Control probably not the best idea for this for since he couldn't even handle The Firmament.cracking without getting Roe vs. Wade repealed, and then I don't really talk to these people very much, but they are people.

Somebody's Knocking at my door, And I really got to put on some pants. I'm not here from the waist down this entire time, but I just have my kilt at hand. The house is getting invaded by helpers, and... Well they're not really helping me. I've allowed them to come and utilize the sacred healing space while they pretend to try to not be trying to kill me.

Pretty sure it is Lucifer pretending to be various people. You're certainly not a woman who wants to fuck me, and I don't know where Grapefruit is. I'm hoping she's circling her next target selection, without being particularly obvious about the upcoming Coup De Gras.

...just who the fuck have you been sleeping with?

I lay 50/50 odds with myself that it's going to be something she'll be able to prevent herself from saying without sputtering or risking a sudden tongue swallowing event, but... there's just so much about batshit crazy woman who've been raped by elder gods that I don't normally understand. I'll have to do some more research into the occult. But first, I have to go to work because I'm a nigger and I need to get money to pay rent.

Oh wait, I forgot, this is my actual residence. Silly me. It's remarkable how several months of of complete strangers shrieking racial epithets ethnic slurs at me while demanding that I sign up for employment at... Someplace never never really explained to me, anyway. I just can't imagine it. Not cold clocking her one though. I swear to Christ if she actually asks me if I've been fucking Eve or sleeping with Eve. I'm just going to walk over to her and immediately start raping her right there right in front of her. Eve says she's down, she always said she'll play along. She never had a BFF before. She thinks it's a real kick. I think she knows something about it. She's not telling me.

Certainly, neither is Lucifer or telling me anything. Not in so many words. Oh wait I forgot. He told me he didn't like me. And I figured out that he hired a strike Team to kill me, and I don't know if we're going to trade but... I figure if grapefruit can't tell that I'm not sleeping with him or her and she asks me who I am sleeping with and she doesn't know I've been sleeping alone for 4 years. I'm just going to fucking rape Lucifer to death right in front of them both and then just run away screaming. I just cannot fucking believe these fucking people. They're all batshit crazy lunatic, insane people, and these are my “friends” now.

I'm being held officially for my own protection incommunicado. This is good because otherwise I would have called Western nuts already and asked her if she's going to make me wait all day. Or should I start making plans with Eve to make soup out of Lucifer or something? Which isn't a very funny joke. But let me tell you I don't give a fuck about any of this anymore. Life is nothing without friends.

Close. I mean actually it's a a way for the DEA to trick people into running themselves. But anyway I got to go. I'm really tired. I don't want to harp on how beautiful Eve was. But my new three girlfriends are hotter but I don't know if they exist because I could have just made that app coming. I'm going to publish a whole bunch of content about other women that I want to blow my brains out fucking over and over and over for the next 80 million years, cuz I think I'll be really cute to see how people respond to super exotic erotic fan fiction about three women without being at all obvious about it. Kind of showed up today and then I want them all. To get along with each other, and if they don't then maybe they could... I don't know be friends with Lucifer? Actually no probably not, maybe they could kill him, I don't know. Maybe not. I don't know what these girls are going to do.

Except for leave me alone to die I'm pretty sure about that. It's complicated. And the woman who was the point of a a inquiry at knife point 4 years ago was sort of like the person sounded like who called up and offered me a 3-day excursion for $800, I don't know why, but I think it's funny. Says I don't want to do anything except not making anything get worse. I don't know how much she hates me but I don't have any money. He was stolen and I haven't got any social Security or food stamps in all my trusty stuff disappeared. At the same time the government should have happened so I don't know who is on purpose or a thiever. That was something kind of fucking thing that happened. I don't know. No one will tell me. I don't care. hail Satan!

And I don't hail Lucifer because he raped my friend. (Standards.) Like I don't feel like you got a fair deal, but maybe it's probably because he raped my friend. And it's too bad that I make Him uncomfortable, I think the way I sporadically bothers it capitalize his pronoun and then don't really care and I have way more interest than thinking about you. Anyway, I think that might probably make him comfortable too, so hopefully he doesn't commit suicide, turn to somebody for comfort and then discover that he's been tattling on himself to the FBI or something, I don't know what the fuck they're dealing with, but these are real people in some way.

And somehow easier to send Eve and Lucifer to not give me hugs than it is for somebody to explaining me what the fuck happened. I'm truly beginning to suspect some sort of gigantic candid cameracon. That's why I'm not putting on pants or carrying or giving shit and I'm going to go to sleep.

I'm tired and hungry. I don't have any money and then all I have is dry rice and nothing. I don't know where I can go and I don't know who died or if anyone did and... I don't know. Is this insane? I guess I should get a psychological evaluation instead of deliberately telling stories on the internet that make everything sound so much more insane than they actually are. And again, I like to think about my friend Eve. She was really beautiful and I couldn't believe that I had this turn her down, she was wondering to bang the living but Jesus out of me but it was a test.

Because as unlikely as all this to me seems, she thought that the stories she heard about me were even more unlikely to be at all real. Maybe she never thought of a man who was willing to wait for somebody, just to say goodbye. She told me she wanted to say hello to my dick. I think she might have been drunk? Like she's incredibly hot and then she's kind of mentally disturbed because you know... I guess you don't.

Adam ran off and left her alone and now she's been left by alone by a man ran home to cry to Daddy about how scary I was, and then didn't want to come back because he didn't want to to miss out on the war in heaven which was actually over because hadn't even started yet and then he's got nothing to do. Do besides watch her get to know me better and wait for Grapefruit.

I guess I don't play chess much? I can see why, she's so fuckable. I can't believe it, I don't know what they do but, I guess they don't do much else. I honestly wish I could go on a date with her. But there's no point. That'll be rude.

She's coming home pregnant. No ifsands or butts. Like I can barely stand her thinking that right now, why am I doing this? Oh yeah cuz the woman would kill me. And apparently she kills everybody else too and then Lucifer hates me. So I guess I don't get to get any, have sex or a hug or anything.

It's fucking Kafkaesque. And this is my life. Now at what point was I supposed to go sober? Right after that? Just fucking kill me. Thanks in advance. Peace.