RubiniGab ... Now defunct

[AZZERAE]

He has a blog?

You overslept todays debriefing again, didn't you?

[Jackstar]

I AM THE VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD

Problems develop on planets/globes in worlds/words when The Craft is HELD SECRET.

Fortunately, paranoid schizophrenic delusions with accompanying auditory hallucinations DO NOT have to be one of them! Thanks to the innovations that the Kuczi Oscillating Overthruster have brought to the table... uh, yeah, the demonoids took a look at what that could do, and they all took off running, backing their bags while heading to the door. Maintain vigilance... and it might be time for a little light panic buying. Keep it light, tho. I can't remember where I shoved your last gift(s) and I don't wanna deal with any overages on any return trips.

In a manner of speaking, that is. Hey, how soon after I get my fist/first paycheck, can I ask for my second raise? (Ed. Yeah, I told him to ask. I thought it would be funny. It is. See? I'm laughing.) Asking to NOT die from an O.D. unless it's a hot muffin with enough lasagna to feed the whole army.

Yes. I have an army. I don't think they even came with the job.

[AZZERAE]

[AZZERAE]

...

OK, retard.

[Jackstar]

Don't make your problems mine.

When you withheld messages intended for me witthout just cause --even if only allegedly-- you opened up the pot'o'fish. I don't have problems. I have fish. (The_Original isn't going to ever give up. Kinda envy you, to be yon.)

Oh. Oh! Top kek, Mr. Special Needs Trust.

No, that's Mr. Kuczi, Sourceror. Doesn't that sound fuckin' special enough for you? It sure is for me! The lifestyle that comes with having attained this level of rank and reknown and a demonstrable history of fuckin getting fuckin results that count is not anything like what any of you might be imagining it's been like, because really the first few gigs is really just lurching around dealing with a wide variety of different types of pains in the ass/neck, one right after another.

Slow, steady blinking. Mad, staccato thumping. Now, arm, beet, or liver? Choose one and turn the rest into Big Billy Badass if you want to live. Go on. Do it. Don't you want to live?

What? Do you need another beet? Come on man.

[Jackstar]

OK, retard.

I need the Shadowguards to cease their ceaseless hunt onto the team. Tricky request, I know --but you know how to handle it, I am certain.


I am using the word "need" here, and, let the record clearly show: at the moment, I don't even need a fucking shower. (*Richard drops dead*) Oh yeah, that reminds me, make sure you leave my Dick, right--like you found it.

The_Live_One is right here. The other guy? He's an order taker, fuck him. Yeah, I would save that for last, too.

[AZZERAE]

No, that's Mr. Kuczi, Sourceror. Doesn't that sound fuckin' special enough for you? It sure is for me!

Just because you buy your drugs off the street and use them without a prescription, diagnosis or out of a little orange bottle doesn't make you any better than me.

[AZZERAE]

The other guy? He's an order taker, fuck him.

You take your orders from Rubini? I knew it.

You're the most violent "pacifist" I ever met.

[Jackstar]

I don't even need a fucking

*sad trombone: sad saxophone 55, where the fuck are you? If i had legs, I would fucking walk, but I am a fucking trombone. I'm not even a goddam motorcycle. I'm a couldelope buttlestay. WHERE IS THE SADDEST TOMATO? (Blankalon)?*


I told her to go wash her goddam hair for six and a half billion years, and she's not back yet. I'd take my sweet ass time to get back here if I were her, too. Girl is -so- happy to be alive. You know what someone did? Convinced her I was dead. Juliet Biznatch, yo. Anyway, I wouldn't ask -her- too many questions, if I were ewe/you know. Simple stuff. Basic stuff. Stuff like, "When is dinner?", "Why did you stop moving that thing?",  or "Where is my nearest shotgun?" will probably be big winners in focus group testing.


Remember: you asked for this, not at all. Consent matters? Yes, that's right... I see here on pg. 678 of "Psychic Triad Training, Boy Scouts Ed. (dateClas.)" that is true... but... NOT, IF KEYSER SOZE'S WIFE IS ON THE LINE!!!!

Shrug. Rules is rules, 'Luder.

[Jackstar]

You take your orders from Rubini? I knew it.

The_Other_Guy didn't exist: a literary allusion. (You're used to them. Stop stammering, Hammy. You look like you've seen a Kasper.)

You're the most violent "pacifist" I ever met.

I had a bad day once.

[AZZERAE]

Hey, how soon after I get my fist/first paycheck, can I ask for my second raise?

I wouldn't know. We millenials just ghost an employer if we don't want the job. I've seen more than just a couple boomers blow a gasket over us Flaky Foont's.

Asking to NOT die from an O.D. unless it's a hot muffin with enough lasagna to feed the whole army.

If you really did choke that lasagna, and broke its neck, why did Judge Fudge allow you to post bail?

[a] job.

Don't talk about stuff you know nothing about. I must caution you.

[AZZERAE]

I had a bad day once.

I've got a fully loaded clip of vitriol to counter this. But I don't want to make you beg for mercy.

[AZZERAE]

I told her to go wash her goddam hair for six and a half billion years, and she's not back yet. I'd take my sweet ass time to get back here if I were her, too.

Yesterday was a million years ago, in all my past lives I've played an asshole. Now I've found you, its almost too late, and this earth seems obliviating.

We are trembling in our crutches, high and dead, our skin is glass. I'm so empty here without you, I cracked my xerox hands.

The dogs slaughter each other softly. Love burns its casualties. We are damaged, Provider Modules. Spill the seeds at our children's feet.

I'm so empty here without you, I know they want me dead!
   
I know it's the last day on earth, we'll be together while the planet dies. I know it's the last day on earth. We'll never say goodbye.

[WORTHAUGERa]

I don't want to make you beg for mercy.

I don't want to give you the same bad day. I couldn't last 5 minutes watching you go through it let alone.. oh wait you're the one who thinks s/he/ITs tough right, Brother-of-%integrity, you are fuckin' hard tree wood too. You're still not ready for even 5 minutes of that bad day. It was pretty bad — and, Hell, I was there. (No, I'm not going with you and no you can't take my clone. Oh you want a regular clone? Oh that's cute, oh yeah, you're gonna get lonely. Yeah, right, now you get it — how will you come back?)

Now scoot over.

[Jackstar]

Now I've found you

Heh. "Now"? Okay. Good poetry otherwise. Solid poetry. Fast forward approx 11 months and beam yourself over to me so you can kiss my country kitchen farm ass golden hunger wonder EYE/LAND C^5_MAN goodbye before I can say, "HELLO WORLD. TIME FOR A BAPTISM."

That -will- work. Kinda early tho. It will be a real popular shortcut in the future when your kids find it hidden on The Holodeck, tho.



Jackstar: planning for the future. I had that much free time. oxoxoxoxoxoxfuckyougoy--wow. I -am- salty, huh? I don't even remember writing that! Or, ewe.

Justice for Ewe.