Yeah, haha, I don't give a fuck about animals either. Hey, do you mind if I eat your dogs?...
I would be happy to share them with you, but a few caveats on that:
1. This only will happen in a post-Apocalyptic survival situation.
2. We eat them one at a time starting with the oldest first (that would be Flip, and she won't make much of a meal. She is very lean and high energy, probably will be tough and stringy; then Hanz he will probably be delicious, while not fat he is a bit chunky-stout; and finally Mongo Lloyd who is a little overeating-fatty, he will probably be very tender and succulent.)
3. They will have to be made into a special something or another, not just turned into stew-meat for the pot. They deserve to be made delicious. Also, I have promised them all that I will make "Sichuan-style BBQ dog-rib" from each of them, probably the appetizer.
4. Any feral humans we meet in this post-Apocalyptic world that we have to kill will be turned into dog-food for the remaining dogs.
5. If either of us dies in this post-Apocalyptic world, we become dog-food for the remaining dogs.
6. Neither we or the animals will engage in cannabilism, so dogs can eat human meat, and humans can eat dog meat (if there is no other protein source available)
I have already explained the above to the dogs several times over the years, I will now inform them that there is a slight possibility that I may share them with someone if it ever comes to that. If you have to feed me to my dogs because I die of an infected paper-cut or one of the feral humans/zombies kills me, please serve me medium-rare to the dogs. Also, Hanz is my favorite so he should get the choice bits of
pate-meat: I have read that the hands are considered a delicacy among the savage cannibal types, and maybe the cheek-meat (if that Hannibal movie is to be believed...)
Seriously, though, maybe you can have live animals that you kill and clean in front of their family and serve them fresh.
Now that idea had never occurred to me. If I may be so bold as to add my own twist on it; I propose that the restaurant be both
halal and kosher. As I understand it, both
halal and
kosher meats have to be slaughtered in some special manner, I think it requires the presence of an
imam and a
rabbi respectively.
I think that would be quite amusing as a "concept restaurant," I also think it could be a great vehicle to bring Peace between the Islamic and Jewish folks: what better way to "bury the hatchet" than by sitting down and sharing a meal? It could also erupt into bloody violence between the patrons of the establishment, which could be entertaining: Dinner
and a Show!
This restaurant concept, I think, would best be situated in a location other than the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate. I would hate to see my beloved home burnt to the ground if the guests get a little bit "
lit-city."
That idea would probably be expensive, already I will have to hire the
rabbi &
imam, USDA meat inspectors if the two holy men can't legally be their own inspectors, higher insurance premiums due to the possible volatility of the customer base. Probably would get some "Free Advertising" from the press coverage the place is certain to generate though. So there is that I guess...
Since this was your idea originally:
Would you like to be a 50/50 co-owner/operator in an enterprise such as this with me?I imagine that is a lot to think about and sounds challenging, but I love stuff like that!
I want to be the dishwasher and never tell our employees that I am a co-owner, because I think that would be funny as hell. So you will have to do the hiring and firing and what-not. I can do the books and other crap like that, ordering from purveyors etc...
