Author Topic: 5mwJ  (Read 738615 times)

Re: 5mwJ — It's Too Hard To Publish
« Reply #480 on: March 05, 2022, 10:06:03 AM »
I made a new "Eleven Minutes & Fifty-Five Seconds With Jackstar" and I can't figure out how to upload it anywhere, so; I'm just going to go back to sleep.

You probably want to hear anybody else but me anyway. I know how you are.

Re: 5mwJ — It's Too Hard To Publish
« Reply #481 on: March 05, 2022, 12:27:03 PM »
I made a new "Eleven Minutes & Fifty-Five Seconds With Jackstar" and I can't figure out how to upload it anywhere, so; I'm just going to go back to sleep.

You probably want to hear anybody else but me anyway. I know how you are.

I asked Azz upgrade the forums settings and donated the money to do so.  Try again later. 💚🥰

Re: 5mwJ — It's Too Hard To Publish
« Reply #482 on: March 05, 2022, 12:46:59 PM »
I made a new "Eleven Minutes & Fifty-Five Seconds With Jackstar" and I can't figure out how to upload it anywhere, so; I'm just going to go back to sleep.

You probably want to hear anybody else but me anyway. I know how you are.
I, want to hear you.

Re: 5mwJ — It's Too ICE COLD To Publish
« Reply #483 on: March 06, 2022, 03:29:31 AM »
(Back by incessant telepathic demand.)

My peeps and I got in the back end of this Forum's server.
We downloaded everything including "old" bellgab, new secret Bellgab, and [project KucziAss]:current Ellgab.

Get Ready!

3
2
1

#OFFICIAL
I am the cyberbullied, trolled-to-death-good-guy that was trying to simply keep the torch lit


Welcome to... What City.

5mwJ – 06Mar22 — Just Listen To This Song One More TIME
« Reply #484 on: March 06, 2022, 08:53:31 PM »


You probably want to hear anybody else but me anyway. I know how you are.

Everybody in (Blank), WA hates me—except for (You).




(it's actually a metafive)

Re: 5mwJ
« Reply #485 on: March 06, 2022, 11:27:56 PM »
I am guessing this particular podcast is in reference as to how long a typical sexual encounter with JaxTard lasts.  Whether that be his insane fellatio skills, his efficiency at self-gratification or the amount time it takes for him to reach "self-completion" in coitus.



Is that really worth all that much?  I mean to anyone besides himself?

Axing for a fiend.


Re: 5mwJ
« Reply #486 on: March 07, 2022, 12:56:52 AM »
I am guessing this particular podcast is in reference as to how long a typical sexual encounter with JaxTard lasts. 

Well... I'm here to be tellin’ ya:

None of them have ever been typical.

Re: 5mwJ — DEAL WITH IT
« Reply #487 on: March 07, 2022, 11:51:50 PM »
Production offline until Wednesday at the earliest. Reasons. Some include the weather. The actual weather. FML

I don't like it, any better than any of you Men. There's a lot of shit going on. And: I'm not going to tell you about it either.

That being said: be of good cheer. I don't think there's any kind of disaster oncoming. And if I ever find that guy who spread that rumor about me being suicidal and actually having done it, I'm going to beat the shit out of him so fucking bad that they're going to have to put me in goddam solitary.

Again. Except if that actually happens, I will actually fucking portal, O.U.T, MOTHERF—*click*


Re: 5mwJ – 07Mar22 — sure, you're welcome, no problem
« Reply #489 on: March 08, 2022, 12:58:43 AM »
https://twitter.com/_n_Jack/status/1500986658308562945

Sometimes hi hi, I'm I'm Jack. I'm a star just used to it I'm I'm really just giving this up for somebody wanted to know something and now they know look I'm alive. Look it's really me. Hi hi I'm alive yeah I'm not going to say who actually needs to know this you think that such a person could just call me but it turns out actually they can't. They can't. I'm well number one I block some numbers recently motherfucker I have not.
Blocked number in so fucking long. Usually I consider blocking to be a big sign that a person is a big fucking pussy. But well, I'm not going to lie and I'm I've just fucking had it up to the God damn ceiling. I'm not fucking put him. Do I need to curse this much? No, probably not.
Oh OK, good so I I my my. My thoughts are scattered, I'm not. I'm not allowed to talk about what I want to talk about. I gotta wait I gotta wait I I could push the envelope don't get, don't get me wrong it's not like I can't do it I'm voluntarily choosing to agree to.
Respect the fears of others because.
So funny, OK, what's that look like Barbie for me to help somebody?
Avoid the consequences or actions, but I was like Oh my God and oh the emperors. Oh look at her.
You know there's there's a whole bunch of questions I could answer.
You think you think that people who wanted no answers would just send me a list like remember when Hillary was all just send me your questions and I'll respond to them? You know why she was asking that shit boy? I'll tell you, I know why too.
What up you know? I bet Hillary is good at chess. I bet she can play a mean fucking game.
And but she doesn't have to get to rank 8 to fucking promoter nights. Oh my God, that that's that's that's a little bit inside chess. I don't think anybody will get that joke at all.
Oh yeah, alright.
Where do I go to do 5 minutes here? Yeah, I really gotta do. I do fine, I can do 5 minutes. I don't see why not. I don't need. I don't need to not do 5 minutes.
Cut something out.
So this is what I do all day. I I watch other people reading tarot cards and then I pretend that has something to do with my life because obviously it doesn't, why? Why would, why would my life have anything to do with the fabric of reality? That's just so outrageous. I I should be not nearly so so.
Arrogant.
Cavalier.
I did look like there's no reason to think that all these people are talking about me.
Except they are.
You ever see that movie gently with not the movie? Shut up? Shut up lady. I just watch that one. The one with Jet Li where he's this guy and then some some version of himself is traveling through all these dimensions to kill his other selves to gain power. OK, that's a fucking documentary and nothing like that's happening with me thankfully. 'cause I'm a pacifist. You know you don't want to. You don't want to kill a pacifist. It's it's exactly like they have Star Wars. Fucking Obi Wan Kenobi, ju
That's me.
Nobody wants that so.
Where was I?
Oh I forget honestly.
I.
It's a great start again, I don't know who's going to listen to this, and thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I have no idea who even who even pays attention to my fucking shit like Mr. What's his nuts? Twitter headquarters? He knows he knows exactly who's clicking on me. Every single fucking person who shows any amount of interest in me ever. That's not that's in a fucking database. And do I have that? No, no, no, no no no no no no that's sold that's sold to businesses.
Who have arrangements and don't want that information now, but God forbid the ants and the Ant farm know they're on a farm. Fuck they might start doing something unexpected. You can't have that. What's that going to do the economy? If ants start doing unexpected things?
I I kind of know I have some diplomatic contacts, not gonna talk about it. I don't want to boast like like like like look look. No really I'm just I'm just an idiot really. I don't know anything. I'm not important at all and the stuff that I know I would not want to repeat for fear of making anybody that I know shine in a bad light. And I would not want that. I, you know I don't have that many damn friends. I really don't and the ones that I have I cherish.
More than most people could possibly imagine and that extends as far as up to is not even saying their names.
You know, and and for an attention whore. That's a real problem.
Firstly, I don't think I have any of those right now.
Anyway.
Let's see what else?
No news is good news, so I'm pretty sure tomorrow is gonna be fucking swimming.
If I'm still living in this God damn motel tomorrow I am going to fucking lose my God damn mind.
To break in and keep me from scratching out my eyes. Oh, and by the way, I'm telling I swear to God I didn't I didn't fucking lay a hand on her until she fucking looked like she was gonna pull her fucking eyeballs out like I I actually saw her she was reaching for her fucking eyelids with her fingernails.
Seriously, I don't think I was listening that fucking happened, so I'm I'm OK. I mean it was self defense. I'm fine tomorrow is going to be a stressful for exactly me and no one else. Not people, don't even know what's at stake.
Yeah, well maybe that one does. Who is that? Who is that? Oh, by the way, I got a weird call today. Oh shit, yeah I should get off the phone. Hi, I'm gonna end this in soon is this 5 minutes Dexter you know whatever? Whatever the fuck it is I gotta make a phone call and I didn't expect anybody to join me.
I really didn't. If I had I would have Oh my God, I would have baked you a cake, OK?
Uh, I don't have any shout outs to give, so I'll just leave it in determinate. Hi I love you bye I gotta go.

Re: 5 Minutes With Jackstar
« Reply #490 on: March 08, 2022, 03:01:33 AM »
https://twitter.com/_n_Jack/status/1500986658308562945

What is it with this Twittering blue sheet? All your YT suppositories are gone. Those exquisite screensavers, your dynamic trademark opening and that cool jazzy theme tune. Twitter is just a fluttering dark hole into another impoverished dimension.

Let's hope the Judge is as sober as you once were.


Re: 5 Minutes With Jackstar
« Reply #491 on: March 08, 2022, 09:07:50 AM »

Let's hope the Judge is as sober as you once were.



The hammer falls today in Cowlitz:

1:00 pm Ex Parte Protection Order Docket

5 Minutes With Jackstar -- On ice, on guard, and on lollerskates
« Reply #492 on: March 08, 2022, 11:10:43 PM »
The hammer falls today in Cowlitz:



I didn't leave cookies for Santa. I left him ().


1:00 pm Ex Parte Protection Order Docket

That's the alt. Forget those.

Re: 5 Minutes With Jackstar
« Reply #493 on: March 08, 2022, 11:13:17 PM »
Let's hope the Judge is as sober as you once were.



Clarivoyant, precognitive: whatever you wanna call it, I'm the one who saw all this all coming from miles & miles away. Now, I'm down to just five hundred feet. Now, that's progress.

I'll be in the shower practicing the Terminator pose if anyone needs me, every goddam morning. *portal*

5mwJ — “Yeah; fuck the park ranger, Boo Boo, I'm going in ANYWAY”
« Reply #494 on: March 09, 2022, 01:18:58 AM »
It never rains—but, it pours.