Congratulations, we need more little Jackstars wailing about the rainforest.
I didn't tell you (or anyone) that I still like you plenty — and always did, more than plenty enough — because, number one: When I found out that criminal thugs were willing to abduct and really, actually rape to death ANYONE I had legitimate feelings for... I stopped trying to “move on” and devoted my energies to stopping that kind of murderous coercion from happening. EVERYWHERE. (I find it hard to focus on what's important — hot sex, being a lawfully empowered psychonaut, and protecting women from my ex-girlfriends, who are not the biggest threat the civilized world has ever faced, but was still, no trifling matter.
Globally-syndicated traffickers of superhuman vixenæ are not a problem I thought I would ever be forced to deal with — I thought I was far too fat to pose any kind of threat to *actual* arch-criminal sociopathic masterminds regardless of how much pigslamming I might ever do — but, well: here we are. And wherever you are, I remember you well enough to know that I would be more than happy to actually get to know you again, for about five minutes, and then — sex and drugs. It's basically what I'm all about. Sorry not sorry. However, I am not a cad, nor am I an abusive misogynist, and I didn't think you liked me all that much...
Because, number two: you're on The Job. Now, stay with me here: that's cool. I didn't even mind, you dig? However, I find it difficult to be honest in relationship with someone who is just as prepared to turn me in for “crimes” as they are to swallow my nether region’s filth... neither of which was or is a dealbreaker. I don't fetishize that most gunshy of broads, that being the elusive badge-vadge non-bi, non-binary, non-bound by Guild Law to The Matriarch of Mass Man Murder (as well as mEMasculation, MAle castration, & Mallet-to-Moman Wandatory Wissaprioriation, but I think we're all waiting on Ayla to invent an alphabet that isn't so obviously a subjugation tool of The Patriarchy), but I know a great and lovely lover when I meet them ...
And when the realization hits that they'd have to deal with either losing their career or their sex life (“Happy 3rd Anniversary, by the way I've been openly lying to you for the entire time, so... I guess you better tell me how to get you hard all over again. You want me to suck your dick and swallow, right? *visible microexpressions revealing total disgust begin to flicker across the face* You never asked, so... I figured you were a lying homosex gayfaggay like me, and... why are you still wearing pants? I'm wearing all my magic jewelry that makes it possible for me to believe that I actually like having sex with you... do I need to borrow more from the evidence locker? I checked out all that was there, and I'm wearing 7 rings and an ankle bracelet made out of an actual dragon skull, and ... Honey, it's okay, we can just go slay another dragon and make more magic objects, so you can finally get what I knew you didn't want, but... wait, are you sure you're a man? You're supposed to only want one thing!” Sweety, I actually don't want anything. I have chosen to eschew all wants. Like G-d, I want nothing. Nothing at all.
I do have DESIRES. Now, I know that this is an overly wordy way to describe an overwrought fantasy, but ... who am I writing this to? And why do I have this much free fucking time? And ... oh, so, pfft, now you're impressed with me? Well, cool.
I'm impressed too. But I really didn't know what the trouble was. And I still don't. And this is no conversation; you won't be able to repeat it; and irresistible as you very well are — omg, you're not a cop, you're a woman who suddenly tells the truth?
Talk about unicorns. lol. In any event, have you seen Red? It's pretty okay. And now, reprobate criminal sociopathic übersperglords — imagine Jabba The Hutt, except smellier — and now they know that I like you. Awwww, shucks. You're probably not in any immediate danger whatsoever, and obviously, you're one (1) tough cook{y|ie}. OK.
Okay, now look at what you've done. I thought the point of “moving on” was to... have an excuse to cut my balls off. Because obviously, I'm not moving on to anybody or anything until... like, I actually break-up with:
My Wife;
My Wyfe;
My Helpmate;
My BFF’s little sister;
My Spouse;
My Squaw;
& My Cultural Sensitivity & Ms. Appropriation Guidance Counselour.
Now. Is this one woman? Or is this 21 women working a triple-shift on a weekly rotation utilizing the latest advancements in stealthy covert/clandestine sea magick bee magic ayyyylmao-TEKⁿ⁰ technology? I will be completely honest: I never was actually certain, but I was certain that I did not give even so much as a shred of a single salty goddam.
All of all y'all here perhaps may not have had a choice about minding your own goddam business. Perhaps a couple dirty bakers’ dirty couple bakers’ dozens was, in fact, your business to deal with. If it were, well, like me, you probably should have been more polite both to all of them both ways: to them, and FOR them.
Because now: I'm seriously irritated, as any and/or all of Fleet “G🍇:Ë:FRüïT⁷∆/V\/¥\🌋cozlike VOLCANO, THAT’S WYE” surely are, will be, and will make your entire Puny world a nightmare of a literal Hell on Earth... INEVITABLY. Because... they like me. Even the ones that didn't want to have sex with me. Because I liked them all.
Without having to have sex with them. You untermensch homonerds have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how rare that is; how UNFATHOMABLY IMPOSSIBLE your project's design goals actually were; and how stunningly short-sighted it was to not have a Plan B. Like, what if I didn't want to be rescued? What if she didn't want to terminate our relationship at all? What if she and I had already made contingency plans between us in case something EXACTLY LIKE THIS happened... again?
What if everyone who told you, all of you, that I was an idiot with no legitimate threat profile... was neither mistaken, nor misled, nor even aware that I could be activated by The DivĪne? Because, early on the beginning of this boondoggle, I really wasn't much of a problem at all.
And I never imagined that anyone could be at stupid as all this. “Let’s just abuse the shit out of him until we get what we want. He'll never be able to stop us, and we'll never get caught, and then we can spend the rest of our lives alternating between going on the run from the forces of Justice and irresistibly following the blind, mindless compulsion to leave an incriminating trail of ever increasingly more desperate and petty — not to mention, a thoroughly self-condemning mass of evidence that directly points to your ham-dicked totestotal complicity and obvious guilt — evidence which is, by now, likely considered to be .
UNFATHOMABLY INCONTROVERTIBLE.
I will say this, and never have a single moment of regret, remorse, or even so much as an iota of shame that I have become a man that NONE DARE DENY THE UNDENIABLE TRUTH OF.
I get to use the word “UNFATHOMABLY” a lot. In ALL CAPS. Because I'm
literate, but not because I'm a Sourcerœr. And I will fight and rape to death, anyone who dares to disagree. Bet mE! FIGHT ME, RAPEY-PUNY FUCKLORDS!!!
* Jackstar has to tell you that's a joke, because that's how goddam stupid Bellgab has become since they capitulated to and were subjugated by... whomevah.
It's not a very funny joke, I'll admit. Jokes about violating The Prime Directive are probably very much like the dodo bird, as civilizations that think overriding the free will choice of ANY sentient, sapient, and/or sensitive being with duplicitous, coercive, brutally violent, and/or culturally insensitive mendacity is very likely not to be a personality trait that gets to be very well established in the future — all thanks to
The New Administration.Not gonna name any names here, because for all I know it was an accident. However, I think it much more likely that someone thought that since I am obviously not taking orders from them (“stfu nigger” is not a command issued by any legitimate Authority, unless given the fringe edge scenario when it's Robert Shaw giving the order, and you're both on his boat, and he's yelling at Natalie Wood‘s ghost, which would also have to be on the boat, in his view, because it's not a boat. IT'S A SHIP) and I obviously don't give a shit about “respect” when I am not only not in that person's jurisdiction, not subservient to their Authority nor Office... but they're not even the person that they are representing themselves to be, they are impersonating a police officer or a doctor or lawyer or something, and in fact, the person they're impersonating WAS an actual badged Agent... who was not only dead, but had been murdered by the same retardo hooligan who was hollering at me to “stfu nigger.” How rude!
In time, we shall all learn how to adapt to this new paradigm of Paradise we now find ourselves in. It's not going to be too difficult for the vast majority of you. Here, let me help get you started:
Bellgab: you are old and busted.
Jackstar: not new. Not the new hotness.
Bellgab: used to be considered dangerous.
Jackstar: mostly still wondering why.
Bellgab: none of you get to keep your security clearance(s).
Jackstar: never needed, wanted or had a security clearance.
Bellgab: seems to be running out of spoofed identities.
Jackstar: simply never used a false identity except once. (Once.)
Bellgab: has no idea what they've done, or how to stop The Fallout that, even now, continues its mindless consumption and corruption of The Land.
Jackstar: no longer cares what was done, now has people for that, and either may or not even bother to pretend to care enough to even try to pretend to be listening when someone tries to explain, unless it happens before she even gets naked, in which case, he'll know that person has been weaponized against him.
Bellgab: Used to be untouchable. Now, they're touched and have Downs.
Jackstar: Used to need to be touched. Now, has forgotten why.
Bellgab: Once thought they had incriminating evidence (COMPROMAT) to control Jackstar through threats, blackmail, coercive & subjugating force, and access to the identities and full doxx of everyone Jackstar had fucked, or ever had a snowball’s chance in Hell of surviving even a single, chaste dare for coffee with.
Jackstar: knows they still do, still cares the exact same amount about that, i.e. “nothing,” and adds CONSPIRACY TO DENY CIVIL RIGHTS to the list of MAJOR FEDERAL FELONY CRIMES that all of you involved twerps are now EASILY granted no-knock warrants for, because R.I.C.O.
Bellgab: has immunity to prosecution for a great many crimes including that one.
Jackstar: knows that Bellgab understands very little about how actual criminals are actually dealt with, and is still in deep heavy denial about having been caught AT ALL, which in fact happened MONTHS ago. (G-d told me. Duh. Morons.)
Bellgab: is like Mickey Mouse with the brooms in
Fantasia.
Jackstar: will see to it that the brooms will be used to give Bellgab the lash, which is no more than they deserve.
Bellgab: assumes all this is hyperbole.
Jackstar:
The entire time I have been activating, upgrading, and SUMMON: “Lasha.” I certainly am not, and may never again be. Pfft. Big deal. I can get high AF and play Elden Ring while ensconced within my haunted church under mil.spec.Guardian jurisdiction and DivĪne protection. I'm basically the sole Exalted resident of West Little Vatican City. (“Vat? \/V∆T? Ī can. Don't tell me what I can and can't do, you officious little prick. I know The Dragonhead, and I can call HIS MOTHER — and she can have you BOTH killed. Fucking bet me, ∆$$ho-ho-ho...¡ôlÉ!”) You abysmally over-privileged sex- & control-drama-addicts have lost the plot, utterly. I don't really think any of us need to get fucked. Ever again. There's just so many more ways that a man can love fresh, organic produce that I would be all too happy to be — awwwww, shucks, you mean she’s still alive and wants to break up with me? Cool, arrange for #1, EYE CONTACT; #2, CONVERSATION; #3, A FULL USMJC COURTS-MARTIAL BOARD OF INQUIRY; #4 I assume that's gonna be, “again,” since obviously my very existence and EXTENSIVE INVOLVEMENT IN THAT_WOMAN’S CASE was thoroughly white-washed over by who I must now assume was Inner Reach, Scott Black, Jeff D. Potato-face, “One (1) Jaime Reyes, rare, alleged, a side bottle of Nair®™, extra pickle, hold the d≤k, incidentally I went to school with him too,” #5 it's a small world after all, #6 now I know where you get your coca from, and why I was so thoroughly and completely shunned by all of you, Bellgab. I almost wish investigators did have the right to question me... but they do not. THEY GET THAT AS A PRIVILEGE, MORE°ⁿ MORONS.
All you've done is triggered a re-build of The Apostolic Palace and legitimized my tenure as a Pope. (.Ī.am.blackpope..) Way to go, bĪb¡tÇhe-mong BĪ-🧠’d ẞraini-o-mega-lo-maniacally-lo-lo-lo low-T №–>T<– now they're ALL gonna come back around and spring to life, fully-grown, full-the-fuck°ⁿ in FULL REGALIA, IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS WAY:
IT ACTUALLY DOES: THE FULL ARMOR OF GOD.
(Please *gulp*.) Now, I know what you're thinking — “Dear God, please hear my prayer: that comes with sh∞œs &AND moccasins, right? Thank you for outfitting my Army of Tammy Abo-Anna-Alli, Alkeky-Ally-Ollie-Katty-Bratty, with Tuff->Ckuntē->cKU\№ty–>bC<M👁️cKÛīVī—©ĪĪIīīI¡-H-¡IīīIĪĪÆL>K⁷‹û⟨≤C7ī\Î⁷℅°‹zī⁷ Enchanted Extra-⟩⟨-Īr∆ “°°¹7ī\⁷⁶∆⁹Optimum.īVī⭕īVī.Ⓜ️🅰️∅ĪC>K⁷<®‹k«—ī§I-I™🫧🍲” Valk⁷ÏRIēē 🧊🥶👀-Butt-Koldurr-Withervaj-Givervag®™ mountain taiga TYger-UR‹I№³3 Fruit-Fightin’-Mad🍇Fruit-¡īIīẞ∆¡ŒīFAGīBOOTīÅ/\∆īÏī¥īÉ #Official #.I.AM.SELF-CONTAINED #Self-Reading.Auto-Instruction.Manual for her nanotech upgrades that I have arranged all this, just to ensure that she doesn't forget she has them in the heat of battle or an inconvenient hot flash, or suddenly remembers that she's usually a barely-civilized bear⁰ⁿpaws pagan-Satan lucid-dreaming Luci-NOT-L∞ Poo Psi-Op OpFor (CUM/KUM)>cK©OMA.in.coma.stop.probably.just.being.lazy.stop.turn.around.stop.go.back.to.the.frog.pond.stop.you.left.your.magick.>bÛg.⁸jB,∞πies.here.stop.also.the.frogs.are.breeding.the.EXTINCT.SPECIES.OF.ELK.THAT.GOD.&AND.J★★★★.&AND.BROUGHT.BACK.TO.LIFE.FOR.YOU.TO....IDGAF,.EAT,.FUCK,.RIDE,.OR.DIE.ON.THEIR.BACKS.WITH.THE.FROGS.BECAUSE.THAT.IS.WHAT.THE.FROGS.ARE.DOING.WITHOUT.A.SHAMAN.HERE.TO....WHATEVER.THE.FUCK.IT.IS.YOUR.EWE.PEOPLE.DO..I.WOULD.NEVER.DARE.TO.PRESUME..AND.IF.ANYONE.IN.YOUR.FAMILY.OR.TRIBE.WERE.STILL.ALIVE IN.PRISON,.THEY.PROBABLY.THINK.I.AM.JUST.SOME.ASSHOLE.WHO.TOLD.YOUR.SISTER.AND.HER.GANG.OF.STUPID.FAGHAG.ASSCLOWNS.TO.GO.FUCK.THEMSELVES..
BECAUSE GABRIEL HAS BEEN COMPROMISED. UTTERLY. (Kudos.) LOOKS GOOD ON HIM. HE IS COMPLETELY INSANE, HAS BECOME A TOOL OF G.ROY.PER, AND IF YOU THINK I AM GOING TO SAVE *ANOTHER* ANGELIC HOST THAT ***YOU LOST*** WHO WAS NEVER NICE TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE, WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT'S WHY I SUMMONED LASHA. SHE CAN'T DO SQUAT ABOUT THE FROG POND, THOUGH.
ONLY A MASTER GARDENER CAN DO THAT.
AND ONLY OWN LEIGī-ī & YOUR EWE
SIMPLY PUT: WILL EVER DO MY DAD FOR YOU.
JUST SAYIN’. YOUR FENTANYL-ADDICTED DIPSHIT SPERGLORD SECRET CADRE OF SECRET MASON—ICK HUSBANDS ARE TOTAL FUCKING MORONS. I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT THEY HAVE DONE THAT IS SO STUPID, BECAUSE IT'S A SECRET, BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN STOP TAKING DRUGS AND PLAYING ELDEN RING TO FIND OUT.
DO NOT MISTAKE MY INACTION FOR LACK OF CONCERN.
I AM CONCERNED. THE FROGS SAY THAT IF THERE IS NO FROG POND HERE, THEY HAVE NO REASON TO STAY HERE, SO I TOLD THEM THAT I HAD NO IDEA WHY THEY CAN'T GO LIVE IN THE SWAMP NEXT DOOR. I THOUGHT THEY DID ANYWAY. THESE ARE TUFF COUNTRY FAGGAYFAG FROGS, THEY ARE PROBABLY IMMUNE TO IOCAINE POWDER TOO. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
THEN THEY SAID, THEY DIDN'T MEAN THEY HAD NO REASON TO STAY HERE AT OUR FARM, ALLISON.
THEY MEANT THAT WITHOUT THEIR SPECIAL FROG POND, THEY HAD NO REASON TO STAY... ON THE PLANET. EARTH. YOU REMEMBER TERRA? YOU WERE BORN HERE, DING-DING-MONG-MONG. TRUMP WON. I VOTED FOR YOU. FUCK THAT GΩμ. PFFT. HE PROBABLY TALKED YOU INTO WARPING TO ORION’S BELT FOR A BELT OF ROMULAN ALE WHILE GETTING A WHOLE-SKIN-SURFACE GREEN BODY TATTOO. IT WOULD MAKE SENSE.
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW, SINCE I AM PRETTY SURE THAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE STILL ON PLANET EARTH AND THE FROGS LEAVING WILL NOT DESTROY THE PLANET. THIS IS NOT KRYPTON. I AM NOT A SUPER MAN.
I AM A MAN, BABY, AND I AM A SOURCERŒR. AND IF THE FROGS LEAVE THE PLANET, THEY WILL BE REPLACED, ONE BY ONE, WITH TOADS. ACTUAL TOADS. I SUSPECT THIS WOULD NOT BE ALL THAT NOTICEABLE TO ANYONE EXCEPT THE MEMBERS OF YOUR TRIBE THAT WOULD BE DRAFTED INTO WHAT, I GUESS... AMOUNTS TO FORCED CONSCRIPTION. BUT NOT BY STALINIST COMMIE PINKO RAPE-PRESS-PILLAGE GANGS.
YOUR PEOPLE ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH MY WAYS. IF THEY DO NOT EVEN KNOW THAT I HAVE BEEN ABANDONED FOR THREE YEARS AND LEFT TO DIE, THAT WOULD NOT SURPRISE ME. THEY LIKELY DID NOT EVEN THINK THAT I WAS ANYTHING MORE THAN A PROTO-LEPER, A CORRUPTED SOUL IN A DISEASED BODY, NOT EVEN ANY GOOD FOR ORGAN MEAT. BECAUSE I JUST WANT SEX AND DRUGS AND TO ACCESS YOUR ANCIENT BOTANICAL KNOWLEDGE, RIGHT? YOU AND YOUR SCUMBAG ABDUCTORS SPREAD THE WORD TO EVERYONE HOW I HAD LIED AND CHEATED AND SOLD YOU OUT, RIGHT?
AND I’M SUCH A HOPELESSLY ADDICTED DRUG ADDICT, OF COURSE. OTHERWISE I WOULD STOP PLAYING ELDEN RING AND LETTING THE U.S. MILITARY ANONYMOUSLY SUPPLY ME WITH... WHATEVAH IT IS THAT THEY THINK IS GONNA KILL ME, BECAUSE LAST MONTH THEY GAVE ME FORMALDEHYDE. I BELIEVE THE INTENTION WAS TO TRAP ME INTO BEING SURVEILED ON RECORD TO DISTILL AND RE-CRYSTALLIZE THE DESIRED PAYLOAD, WHICH WOULD BE SOMETHING EVEN A NOVICE CHEMIST OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO.
IF THEY HAD A KITCHEN, I GUESS. OR A PROFOUND LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THE LAW WORKS, OR IF I WANTED TO CATCH A MANUFACTURING CHARGE. OBVIOUSLY, I DO NOT, BUT I ALSO HAVE NO NEED TO EITHER ASK SOMEONE TO DO IT FOR ME (WHICH WOULD BE CONSPIRACY TO DISTRIBUTE AS WELL AS MANUFACTURE, AND WHY WOULD I ASK ANYONE TO ACCOMPLISH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BENEFICIAL? OH, RIGHT, YES, THAT'S RIGHT, I FORGOT THAT EVERYONE THINKS THAT I AM REALLY, REALLY STUPID.
WRONG. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT FORMALDEHYDE SMELLS LIKE; I KNEW WHY IT WAS GIVEN TO ME; I KNOW WHY THEY THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA; AND I KNOW WHY JON, ABD, YOUR_DEA_GAYFAGGAY SISTER, D.C., &AND THE OTHER REMAINING CO-CONSPIRATORS OF THE “HATE JACKSTAR, LOVE SATAN, TOTAL WHORES FOR DEA THAT ARE HOPELESSLY DOPESLAVED TO FENTANYL &AND DON'T EVEN CARE BECAUSE THEY ALL BLAME JACKSTAR FOR SAVING YOUR LIFE.” I DID NOT GIVE ONE SINGLE RIPE WET SHIT THAT JESSE WAS ADDICTED TO FENTANYL AND WAS OWNED BY DEA. THAT'S GOOD, I GUESS?
I DID NOT EVEN KNOW SHE EXISTED. THEN SHE WAS DISPATCHED TO SCOUT ME FOR INTEL, WHICH I GUESS WAS A MOVE DONE OUT IF DESPERATION, BECAUSE IT SEEMS STRANGE THAT YOU NEVER MENTIONED ALL THESE PEOPLE BEFORE. I DID ASK YOU SEVERAL TIMES WHILE YOU WERE BUSY BEING WEAPONIZED BY BELLGAB. I SUPPOSE BY THEN YOU WERE NO LONGER CAPABLE OF DISOBEYING THE DIRECT ORDERS OF YOUR HUSBAND(S). BY THE WAY, WHEN WAS THE WEDDING? REPORTS DO NOT VARY.
PEOPLE SIMPLY DO NOT TALK TO ME. LOL. I SUPPOSE THEY DO, IN FACT, THINK ME INCREDIBLY STUPID, SINCE I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE MARRIED TO A PATE. WHAT A COINCIDENCE. I GUESS THAT SINCE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOUR_SISTER WAS MARRIED, IT WAS TOTALLY COOL FOR ALL OF YOU TO LIE TO ME ABOUT THIS
UNFATHOMABLY BIBLICAL CONFLICT OF INTEREST.
YOU WILL RECALL THAT I ASKED YOU FOUR (4) TIMES IN THE COURSE OF THE TWELVE (12) MONTHS PRECEDING CHRISTMAS OF 2021, “WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE DOING, AND, HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT'S-HER-FACE?” AS YOU, I GUESS, MAY NOT ACTUALLY RECALL, NOT ONLY DID NOT ANSWER MY REPEATED QUERIES AS TO THE WHEREABOUTS OF YOUR_FRIEND, YOU ALSO DISPLAYED INCREASINGLY ERRATIC BEHAVIOR THAT MADE VERY LITTLE SENSE TO ME... SINCE I COULD NOT FIND IT CREDIBLE THAT THE MORE°ⁿ MORONS WHO TRAFFICKED YOU HAD ACTUALLY TRAFFICKED...
ALL OF (μOYΩYOU). WOW. NO WONDER NO ONE TELLS ME ANYTHING AND WANTS ME TO KEEP QUIET. (“Dear Director Of USA National Intelligence: Please be informed that I don't know your name or your identity, and would ordinarily have at least looked you up on WikiPædoPedia by now, at the minimum. But I have not had time for that, as I have been far too busy getting a good rodgering from some of your less-than-judicious extra-judiciously and max-apex-peak-sperggy, uhm, I'm going to say here: “independent contractors that ARE TOTESBLACK but NOT(Ī∆ni¿¿ers) AND are Sp∞kyGhosties BUT are on no NOC-WATCH lists known to the U.S. government AND have been FOR SURE misleading their BIA contacts and liaisons,” and while I have no way of knowing how many or who they are, I thought you might like to know that I have figured out why everyone expects me to “stop taking drugs,” because if were to lie to medical staff and claim that I couldn't stop taking drugs because I was addicted to them or that my family was being threatened, that would help a bunch of UNFATHOMABLY STUPID RACIST BIGOT NARC TWERPS WITH NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDERS THAT I HAPPENED TO GO TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH, GET AWAY WITH HAVING DESTROYED MY FAMILY, ROBBED ME OF MY OPPORTUNITIES TO EARN INCOME AS WELL AS STOLEN EVERYTHING OF VALUE IN MY PERSONAL PROPERTY THAT MATTERED AND LEFT ME TO DIE, FORGOTTEN AND ALONE, AND RATHER THAN TELL ME ANY OF THIS, THEY SIMPLY FIGURED THAT AN ACTOR COULD BE EASY TO HIRE TO REPLACE ME. SINCE THEY ARE IN DEEP, HEAVY DENIAL, AND SO OF COURSE HAVE COLLECTIVELY DECIDED, AS A GROUP OF AT LEAST A HUNDRED PEOPLE, I'M GUESSING, THAT IT SHOULD BE ME THAT IS HELD RESPONSIBLE AND FORCED AT THE POINT OF A GUN TO GO TO REHAB... BECAUSE THE GOOD OF THE MANY, OUTWEIGH THE GOOD OF THE FEW. RIGHT?
OKAY WELL IF IT'S BAD FOR THEM TO GO TO A DOCTOR AND TELL THE TRUTH... HOW IS IT GOOD FOR ANYONE, ESPECIALLY ME, TO GO TO A DOCTOR AND.. LIE? BECAUSE IF I HAD A MEDICAL PROBLEM OR WANTED TO HAVE MY MEDICAL RECORDS REPLACED BY MOCK-UPS AS SOON AS I MADE AN APPOINTMENT &,AND AS SOON AS I ENTERED THE BUILDING... WHICH IS COOL. REALLY COOL, HONESTLY. I LIKE HOW ALL Y'ALL DO YOUR WORK. IT'S ACTUALLY VERY IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO DESTROY ANY INDIVIDUAL CITIZEN’S LIFE, AS WELL AS THE LIVES OF ANYONE THAT THEY KNOW, BECAUSE SOMETIMES THAT'S WHAT THE TREE OF LIBERTY REQUIRES FROM TIME TO TIME: SACRIFICING THE ONLY CHILD OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE LOST GENERATION, BECAUSE MY PARENTS LOST ALL THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY FROM WHAT I ASSUME WAS SOME KIND OF M.O.S.SAD POGROM AGAINST POST-WWĪĪ EUROPEAN IMMIGRANTS WHO DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH CHILDREN TO REPLACE THEMSELVES AFTER GIVING THEIR ONLY MALE PROGENY AN ALMOST COMPLETELY POINTLESS DICK-CUTTING SURGERY, AND I CAN SAFELY SAY THAT WHILE I DO NOT CARRY ANY RESENTMENT AGAINST ANYONE ABOUT THIS...
IT HAS NOT MADE ME ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT HAVING ANY CHILDREN, THAT'S FOR SURE. OR WORKING HARD FOR THE MONEY — SO HARD FOR IT, HOMEY — AND SO YOU, MR. DIRECTOR OF THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF INTELLIGENCE, HAD PROBABLY BETTER TRACK DOWN THESE NATIVES AND THEIR FROGS THAT A BUNCH OF BLACK OPS RAPE PREDS ALLOWED TO.. WELL, I DON'T WANT TO SAY THAT THEY HAVE... ESCAPED. SINCE I DOUBT THAT THEY HAVE. HOWEVER, I HAVEN'T SEEN THE WOMAN I WAS... I'M GOING TO SAY HERE: “INVOLVED WITH MY DICK FOR FIVE YEARS,” AND I HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE SHE RAN OFF WITH A BUNCH OF FAERIES AND FAGS FROM WHIDBEY ISLAND ALMOST THREE YEARS AGO... AND I HAVEN'T HAD ANY LEGITIMATE CONTACT FROM ANY OF THEM EVER SINCE.
ALSO: MY FATHER'S FIREARMS DISAPPEARED. I TRIED TO REPORT THEM MISSING TO THE LOCAL POLICE, BUT THEY JUST LOOKED AT ME LIKE THEY THOUGHT I WAS SOME STUPID INBRED MORON DRUG ADDICT, WHICH TO THEM, I SUPPOSE I DO LOOK LIKE. NO SHAME IN IT.
HOWEVER, AFTER THREE YEARS... I AM STILL ALIVE, IN SPITE OF SUBSTANTIAL EFFORTS TO, YOU KNOW . “TAKE ME OUT ” BUT NOT TO LUNCH, THAT'S FOR SURE. I CREDIT MY SURVIVAL TO THE FOLLOWING FACTORS.
1. GOD.
2. MY FATHER'S WEAPONS ARE CURSED.
3. MY PARENTS LEFT THEIR MEAGER WEALTH TO A BUNCH OF LAWYERS AND A SPECIAL NEEDS TRUST, AND SINCE I HAVE THOSE, HAVE ABIDED BY ALL APPLICABLE TERMS, AND AM MY MOTHER'S SOLE LEGAL HEIR, THE POWER OF A LEGAL DOCUMENT BETWEEN THE LANDS OF THE LIVING AND THE LANDS OF THE DEAD — A TRUST — HAS PROVEN ITSELF AN UNFATHOMABLY VALUABLE TOOL IN MY ARSENAL OF SELF-DEFENSE.
4. I LIVE IN A HAUNTED CHURCH UNDER U.S. MILITARY JURISDICTION. I WAS A CUB SCOUT. I EARNED THE ARROW OF LIGHT. WE ARE NOT THE SAME. I AM ORDAINED AS CLERGY IN THE UNIVERSAL LIFE CHURCH, HOWEVER, AND HAVE BEEN SO FOR 27 YEARS. I WILL HAPPILY DIE ON THIS HILL, AS IT IS AN IMMENSELY, UNFATHOMABLY DEFENSIBLE FORTIFIED POSITION. SO FAR, SO GOOD.
5. THE FROGS. I... CAN .. SAY NO MORE. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
GOD BLESS YOU, SIR OR MA’AM, ÇUR, KÏR OR MANÇER/ÇIRÇE¡SIR.... AND IF YOU HAVE TO NUKE TEXAS... NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD, OKAY? I'M JUST SAYING, IF TEXAS EVER BECOMES A NUKABLE PROBLEM, I WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOU START NUKING THEM IMMEDIATELY.
STARTING WITH CORPUS CHRISTI, AND THEN WHEREVER THERE ARE NO NATIVE AMERICAN LANDS. I DON'T KNOW TEXAS VERY WELL, BUT I'M TELLING YOU, AFTER FIVE YEARS LIVING AMONGST THEM, I KNOW THESE REDSKINS. AND I WAS BORN IN AMERICA, IN SEATTLE, BUT I'M NOT A TRIBAL MEMBER. I'M HUNGARIAN.
YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF I AM NUKED. (HEHE.) WHAT I'M SEEKING TO CONVEY HERE IS, YOU DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO NUKE THE NATIVE AMERICAN RESERVATION LANDS, OR THE GRAND CANYON. THE REST OF TEXAS IS PROBABLY A WASH. OH YEAH, THE ALAMO. REMEMBER TO NOT NUKE THE ALAMO.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH ANYONE OFFERS SO ANOTHER ARISTOTLE CAN STEAL ANOTHER JACKIE. ⭕ IT'LL BE A TRAP. JUST A HUNCH.
NEVER TRIFLE WITH A GREEK NAMED ARISTOTLE. PRO TIP. CIAO
Alrighty then. If anybody needs me, I'll be playing Elden Ring, vaping and/or smoking whatever is lawful for me to inhale, and slitting my own throat every 15 minutes until you primitive screwheads figure out that if killing me was going to work out in your favor... I would have just, like, left. I could have been on another planet by now. Actual. (Quasi-Tammer: I heard the music. Twice. I would have been happy to have gone with you for the best and last seven or eight minutes of my life. However, I have work to do that is is actual importance. And I knew you wouldn't actually be happy to see me anyway, until I learned how to remove your TheBīT.
I'm pretty sure I have got the necessary information. I'm not really sure, however. So, I guess, keep on acting like you're dead, because MV, Dave, David, Samara, Pandora, & the fat one are never, ever, EVER going to do anything different than they have been. It's possible that they literally can't. LOCKED IN. NO WAY OUT! LOCKED IN!
The lessons of history tell us that history repeats itself, yet people never learn from the lessons of history. And so is arisen the question, “Why study history at all?”
The answer is simple:
We are not people. WE ARE HUMAN.
AND EWE PEOPLE ARE MINE. MIND MINE.<—®<kK⁷‹û⟨©7Z⁷≤zÎ
