So I go into the place;
picture this:
>I walk up
>I am clearly expected
>Cashier is talking to non-thug Bruiser
>his interest is clearly serious and non-romantic
>As I go in, someone comes in behind me
>I'M BRACKETED
>She wasted no time
>They've been waiting all day, all year: COPS.
>Cashier wastes little to no time
>She is clearly non-plussed
>Whole thing is stupid
>She's right about that
>Still it is good to be seen
>Last time I saw her, I failed to hit on her at all
>Like why even
>When I've been busy texting whole entire world about her/not_her
>#JustCasualThings
>#totesinnocent
>She sells me the wrong size coil
>I drive off and discover this at home
>So obviously I have golden opportunity to return
>I sit around getting semi-blasted on totes_not_meth
>I know it's not, but 24/7 surveillance thinks I think it is
>24/7 surveillance thinks they know everything
>They do not
>They also don't know Jackstar
>I sit around pretending that I'm really high when I'm not for days... like a week... maybe more... alcohol kills
>Yesterday’s demonstration reminds me that I really am all that
>So I finally get a round TUIT today
>I fiddle-fuck around all day
>Wait until last minute
>Smoking not_meth most of the day
>It is not only not_meth, it is weak_shit
>I HAVE TO BREAK A SWEAT TO PRETEND I'M HIGH
>Everyone of course buys it without question
>Worst performance of my life, etc.
>I checked the Google map at 6:00 and discover place is open till 8:00
>I OF COURSE ALREADY KNOW THIS
>So by checking the location on Google, what am I doing?
>Exactly
>So I go in, find a Welcome_Wagon
>CIRCLED
>They are desperate to find something actionable
>They have literally nothing
>LITERALLY NOTHING
>FIVE YEARS OF COVERT INVESTIGATION
>THEY HAVE NOTHING BUT THEIR OWN DICKS IN THEIR OWN HANDS
>Obviously this is not good for anyone
>EXCEPT ME: JACKSTAR, DESTROYER OF YOUR FANTASYLAND PLANS
>So, I make it easy for them to predict my movements, and then I deliberately wait like 10 days and then do exactly what I could have done the next day then
>Of course they jump on it, they have no choice they have nothing else to do
>I walk in the door and I'm I instantly totesbracketed
>THUG JACK LYFE STAR
>Clearly it is hoped I will be caught making a disturbance
>I'm bracketed by three people
>Almost all certainly law enforcement
>Did not see any pigs
>Except maybe Cashier
>I do like her, and I am Kermit
>So what, she's Miss Deety, it's not like I care either way, I like who my heart tells me to like
>Besides, I like pigs, that's why I don't eat them
>I can't abide how they are raised
>And this is obviously much more interesting than I thought it was going to be
>So... anyway, I telegraph NONE of this
>Shy_Jack.exe
>Is default operating system’s default program anyway
>I say “you sold me the wrong kind,”
>She acts like she didn't know this
>Like she needs the receipt
>She doesn't ask for the receipt
>I have it wrapped around the box
>She asks me if she can take the box as I'm holding it out to her
>beyondardor
>I'm like, “well, yeah,” and I am momentarily stunned
>I then notice I have the receipt
>I say, “do you want this” she says “yeah”
>With funny shrug of shoulders that means “whatever”
>Practically shove it at her
>She puts her head down and looks at it for long enough to make sure that everybody knows that she's really looking at it
>totesardorintensifies
>This is obviously the kind of woman that I could be friends with and not have to have sex with, she's playing chess with merchandise and receipts while armed guards peer intently for signs of one false move
>She goes to the overstock and grabs another box and says “here I'll swap it out for you”
>It's also the wrong kind
>I say, "okay” grab the box and leave
>I am escaping the brackets
>I get to the door and turn back and say:
>“Hey, are you five-oh?”
>Complete lack of response from everyone
>I'm looking only at her
>She's finally surprised by something
>Long enough pause before she has an answer ready
>In my mind I think, “you know I knew you can't answer that, lol”
>I am beaming big, happy smile
>“Huh?”
>I say, “never mind” and leave
>Other two present say absolutely nothing
>I get in big black truck (that clearly used to belong to a local notorious UC/CI drug informant, AND WHY DO YOU THINK THEY GAVE ME THAT ONE) and drive over the curb on my way to go buy food
>Sit in the truck after parking, writing out this story
>I know you will appreciate it
>As well as those two people who were in there today, obnoxiously, I can hear them laughing in my head right now.
>Surveillers get real-time access to my phone
>No way to stop that and I wouldn't even if I tried
>I respect 5-Oh but I'm not 5-Oh
>I'm Jackstar
>I'M SOMETHING ELSE *click*
